#the re-obsession is happening.
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Angry music man by the light of flashlight-pen.
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I've determined that my relationship to groups of straight men is I'm like a cute little monkey that can do tricks for them (ex. at a party at uni one time one of the guys brought like a 5kg(?) dumbbell from his room and had me try n lift it with my tiny E-based spaghetti arms, and when I labourously managed to they all cheered), or like- when I wanna say smth, they'll shush their other lads like "yo, shut up, the monkey's gonna talk! I wanna hear what it has to say!", like they don't sexualise me (cause issa monkey) but they're still endeared to me (cause is tiny and cute)
like you know those capuchin monkeys that people put in little outfits, that's what lads see when they look at me
it's giving freak show (affectionate) a little bit, but I think straight men not being interested in me while still being nice to me is possibly the best nonbinary deal I coulda gotten out of this
#*mind you individual ones still look at me a little too enamoured sometimes#but it's very reassuring re my anxiety abt what'll happen once I pass better now#trans#nonbinary#transmasc#although I'm still peeved at the times where it was specifically abt me not being Strong™ cause my dysphoria has a thing abt that#I do like them listening to my wisdoms tho x'D#I got to chat to some guy friends abt men's lib yesterday and learnt of the 'literally me' meme#that's seemingly specifically abt ryan gosling characters the manosphere bros are obsessed w#(and they're not sleeping on ken I'm very happy to hear)#and I showed them some tumblr history videos so we did like a reddit tumblr culture exchange lmao
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𝑞𝑢𝑖𝑒𝑡𝑢𝑑𝑒
#older zonami save me. save me older zonami.#zonami#zoro x nami#roronoa zoro#cat burglar nami#one piece#this ship is in my brain since i'm 11#since the first time they met when he saves her life YOU DON'T G ET IT#and then OPLA happened#and it re-awakened my teen-obsession#and here i am at 25+ drawing them again#time is a flat circle
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ANDREY STAMATIN
Keep a close eye on Peter. You'd become desperate and turn into a villain without him.
I spend a lot of time thinking about daniil and peter, but something just clicked into place for me with andrey. so!
I am. currently untangling this thread of thoughts about the stamatin twins and daniil and this kind of. triangle that's happening. a three fold bullet for sure, the kind of recognition-awareness-understanding where three people become one, but to step back from that. when daniil and andrey talk, there's a specific shape of peter that stands in his conversational absence. so: triangle formation. it's opposite-adjacent-complementary to daniil and peter's conversations. it all goes back to that first conversation you have with andrey. it's giving knife. love it!
bsky ⭐ pixiv ⭐ pillowfort ⭐ cohost
#OBSESSED WITH HIM#like i was Intrigued by him but i think re reading girard made me go OH i understand you now#wild that i never connected dots between daniil 'Defeat Death' dankovsky and andrey 'Sentenced To Death In Four Countries' stamatin#the transgressive aspect to andrey was like. yeah buddy. you and daniil are reflections in that way of course. but now im like.#oh. okay! got it.#andrey was always harder for me to get a grasp on because i work better at analyzing character pairs but you cant do andrey#without some version of peter and that's three people (debatably four). thankfully. AW2 has me thinking thoughts about#characters in stacks of 5. so now i get to think new thoughts about this game#pathologic#andrey stamatin#shdhghgh classic patho dialogue with patho 2 character designs. i will do it again until we get the bachelor's route#ehdhghgh i wanted to talk about girard's triangle that's happening too but it's not quite. right.#because daniil is the mediator but the thing desired is an abstract-literal thing that all three of them are reaching for#but are unable to conceptualize without the other two in place#i'll get back to this thought later. but its like. the twin dialogue of pulling in opposite directions. but now 3 sides of the same coin#coherent recognition is achieved with. daniil. and also transformative violence as a catalyst.
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What's gabriel in this au?
Some loser, probably.
#Gabriel Ultrakill#Rain World Ancients#Ultrakill#Rain World#I CAN POST THIS NOW THAT THE FULL ATTACK IS DONE. NICE pose referenced from Act 1's ending cutscene if that wasn't blatant already#He's as of yet unnamed but I'm working on it. And also somehow not dead. Debatably. It's a crossover AU it's not adhering to RW canon#Anyway very cool style rain world has for its murals! Tried to match it to the best of my ability but my own style definitely bleeds throug#-in places. It happens#ANYWAY the reason why he's an Ancient is just because there seem to be a lot of parallels between Angels in UTKL and Ancients in RW#Both are societies obsessed with remaining free from earthly desire and keeping order; one wishes to ascend and one has already ascended-#-and has to keep it that way lest they feel the wrath of a long-absent god#Looking at the karma murals that represented the deadly sins (ish) kind of solidified that#Plus it means I don't have to take off his helmet which is always a bonus; I don't like unmasking helmeted characters#As a bonus ancients sort of seem birdlike to me? They're meant to look vague but at least two had bird feet so hell yeah. Bird time.#Enough tag talking. Here's the actual sorting tags:#Re: Inbox#Re: Anon#RW UTKL#Hrokkall Art
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Rhaegar the consumptive harpist
#to anyone who plays harp i am sorry for my sins against harps in this piece. im a pianist.#asoiaf#valyrianscrolls#rhaegar targaryen#my art#asoiaf fashion hour#his anatomy is also off re: torso length I think but w/e#i decided he was allowed a really fly set of boots and dangly earrings. these are 70% of what makes him attractive to ppl#the other 30% being the consumptive harpist angle#I don’t think ppl can understand why Rhaegar was perceived as attractive without:#a) extensive perusal of victorian literature b) extensive time in a college music department c) a mild obsession with tuberculosis#I happen to have all three so *I* get why ppl thought rhaegs was hot. they were mostly wrong. but I get why.
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francesca danelli is like dan's dan
#the heart#re-animator#like if dan was a little too obsessed past the point of believability#she's just a really odd character sorry like when you break down everything that happens#i have to like write a play by play of events
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(Image description below 'read more' line.)
[Image ID: A four-by-four alignment chart on a white background with text descriptions to the left and to the top of the squares.
The top left description reads, "seems like they'd be good at parenting." The top right description reads, "seems like they'd be bad at parenting."
Then, from the top down, to the left of the squares, the other set of descriptions reads: "excellent child rearing instincts," and "never trust them with a child in your life."
Each of the four squares contains an image of a different character. At the top left is an image of Lan Wangji of the Mo Dao Zu Shi donghua. He sits between the descriptors "seems like they'd be good at parenting," and "excellent child rearing instincts."
In the top right square sits an image of Wei Wuxian, also of the Mo Dao Zu Shi donghua. He sits between the junction of "seems like they'd be bad at parenting" and "excellent child rearing instincts."
In the bottom left square is an image of Xie Lian from the Tian Guan Ci Fu manhua. He occupies the square with the captions, "seems like they'd be good at parenting" and "never trust them with a child in your life."
Finally, in the bottom left square, sits an image of Hua Cheng from the Tian Guan Ci Fu manhua. He occupies the junction between "seems like they'd be bad at parenting" and "never trust them with a child in your life". /End ID]
#look ok#i see all the cute little fics with xl and hc talking about becoming parents and etc etc#and that's cute! that's adorable!! let them be happy!!!#but. you have to admit ok. hualian need to work through their own problems#like c'mon. xl picks up like AT LEAST three kids in the book and then proceeds to forget about one on his shelf for a while#just kinda. stands judgmentally with his hands on his hips about guzi and qi rong (it's really funny though don't get me wrong)#and after finally re-capturing lang ying he's like 'i'm gonna guardian you!' and then a whole bunch of shit happens and uh well#ly turns out to be the ghost of some kid xl traumatized 800 years ago come back for vengeance (L)#which means xl traumatized him multiple times lmao#we aren't even touching qi rong and lang qianqiu which YES i know the latter wasn't xl's fault and i am fully aware that the situation with#qi rong is and was complicated. BUT. come ON man can these poor kids never catch a break? the one kid he DIDN'T accidentally traumatize#turned out to be obsessively in love with him so like maybe this is for the best?#anyway i also just don't think they'd be... genuinely interested in a commitment like that? like hc would go along with anything xl wants#but he doesn't seem the type to be interested in kids (he's mostly just interested in xl)#xl isn't off the hook either ok#people bring up hc's treatment of e'ming but xl isn't exactly a saint to ruoye. i dont blame the guy he's got a lot on his mind#but he's also very.... absent#plus with the responsibilities of their respective positions all their extra time is like. spent on eachother jk?#this isn't to say xl doesn't *like* kids or anything i just don't think he would want to be a full-time parent lmao#also they DEFINITELY have their own issues with themselves as kids and i'm afraid that might translate into like. parenting#meme#tgcf#mxtx meme#tgcf meme#xie lian#hua cheng#lan wangji#wei wuxian#wei ying#lan zhan
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"My children, remember that it is very dangerous to wander through abandoned buildings at night, because the risk of meeting with questionable personalities is high."
Don't Repeat Roxy's Mistake in Episode 6. Otherwise, you will see someone's creepy eyes in every corner.)
And with the text.)
#artists on tumblr#art#artwork#my artwork#digital art#digital drawing#wizards of the black circle#winx duman#winx anagan#winx gantlos#winx ogron#my ocs#winx fanart#winx villains#2024#I'm alive!#I just wanted to draw another atmospheric art after a long break in drawing and my character#who is my favorite and whom I very rarely draw which according to many is a big omission#But I couldn't help but draw these “messengers of the apocalypse” either.#So you can regard this art as a symbolic story of a re-encounter with my old “childhood obsession.”#Which happened 5 years ago)#And with this art I plan to revive this blog again as much as possible#And I will try to minimize the risk that the blog will stand for six months...#I'm still experimenting with the demonic form of this punk#After this art I will gradually lay out everything that I have accumulated during my absence
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me, thinking I'm being funny: sets discord status to cat dead, details later
random ass people I haven't spoken to in years coming out of the woodwork: omg I'm so sorry for your loss, what happened to your cat?? :(
#this has happened four times in the last two months haha#no shade to those people btw they just want to show they care#but reallyhow do i explain 'no my cat is fine i'm just unhealthily obsessed with an 80s trash horror film'#moth mumbles#re-animator
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Honestly my two biggest questions going into the Lockwood tv show adaptation will be
Did they find a way to preserve the humor of the narration in a visual format
Have they Made Up A Guy to give Lucy an alive straight love triangle
#re: the second imo the most elegant option would be aging down that swordsman who hangs out with marissa#idk what his deal was anyway or why he still had the sight#he's already obsessed with them and frankly it's hard to believe a 14 yo has better upper arm strength than an adult man#now a lot of that can be explained if he's being aged to death by the gate#wonder how old the orpheus society members *really* are...#anyway to be clear i don't want this to happen#I just suspect it will in some form and am preemptively making up a guy to get mad at#my mom asked me nervously 'these books don't have romance do they'#and I went well it's mg so it basically maxes out at some implied crushes#I do however have dark suspicions about the tv show#'may your work be turned into a netflix show' <- ancient curse probably#lockwood and co
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Me, age 5:
Stay at grandparents' place before kindergarten starts again ✅
Grandpa makes you tea to go with your breakfast ✅
Feed chickens with grandma ✅
Help aunt bake for weddings ✅
Lick batter off wooden spoon older than you ✅
Obsess over Shaman King (2001) ✅
Me, age 23:
Stay at grandparents' place before uni starts again ✅
Grandpa makes you tea to go with your breakfast ✅
Feed chickens with grandma ✅
Help aunt bake for weddings ✅
Lick batter off wooden spoon older than you ✅
Obsess over Shaman King (2001) ✅
#brb i'm busy experiencing being a carefree child again#summers at grandparents' place was always the best#childhood memories#shaman king#re-emergence of that particular obsession wasn't planned it just happened#sure that dub is cringy at times but it's giving me so much serotonin#it withstanded the test of time and it's still holding up#and that wooden spoon still tastes the same🥹
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I am gonna be completely honest the only thing keeping me tethered to the Cookie Run fandom is the TBD update that I am assuming will happen soon
#🎀.txt#i am curious#I will probably re-download ovenbreak for it tbh#and unless they tease twizzly probably never play it again lol#jjba is taking me over sorry fam I didn't want this to happen I am just always obsessed with the most stupid shit (affectionate)#any twizzly moments in the future will probably force me back into cookie run tho he has a GRIP on me I swear
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me in this corner on my knees like fellas, i'm literally begging you, please interpret things, dont just fucking swallow stories and essays and media and all kinds of fucking information without giving it two tiny winy thoughts
#ngl i'm lowkey feeling homicidal about being surrounded by people who just percieve life and go ''okay.''#not a single fucking thought in the 1000km radius of them#and i'm not talking about forming opinions#god knows you bastards are obsessively addicted to forming opinions without half as much the information you need#in order to form actual coherent and worthwhile opinions#i'm talking about trying to understand things. going beyond the surface level aesthetics and the ohhs and the ahhs#fucking christ. every other disco hoarse i see in here is so performative and surface level and superficial it's insane#people be sounding like three baby parrots re-enacting Shakespeare's Hamlet#except that baby parrots are cute and y'all dont even have the virtue of being fun. you're just a bunch of terrible actors#performing what thoughtfulness and introspection and self-awareness looks like. not what it actually means to possess those qualities#it's all the fucking aesthetics. the hows and whats and whens; never the whys.#for the love of gods; try to understand things for once. why they happen; what drives them; how they unfold from the roots up#INTERPRET THINGS. MAKE INFORMATION AND KNOWLEDGE YOUR OWN.#consumer culture is a fucking disease and y'all think it only comes in the flavour of you want to buy cute mugs
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trying to pinpoint exactly when this happened to me and ive landed on my review date literally first and only time I’ve ever used a train toilet in my life and walked away with the stomach flu 😑
#im obsessively clean re hands when I’m anxious think the girlie from that one gayoung and eunwoo drama fjsjfndn#and it’s never happened to me before but the oneeee day I use the stupid train toilet …….#mrow.org
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I've rewatched the Interpol guy (Jack? pretty sure that's his name) the day before yesterday and he's surprisingly comforting to the point of tears and I'm very tempted to write something dumb about him. No solid ideas so far though.
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