i was gonna draw the pool scene TM for real but then i remembered i hate drawing water so i did this instead

ok i'm thinking about the pool scene and i'm thinking about harrow in the hospital at the beginning of htn and bodily autonomy and undressing and touch aversion.

i'm thinking about how, yes, she jumps into the pool almost fully clothed, but she takes off her robe first, and we've got a pretty solid idea that she was probably not wearing much more than a shirt and trousers underneath, which is more than thin enough to cling. and her paint is washed off by the water.

obviously, this is a scene where she makes herself vulnerable, where she drops the mask for a second, and the undressing, however slight it appears to us and gideon, is part of that. but it's not nearly the same thing as the gutting rawness and vulnerability she experiences on board the erebos, is it?

thinking about how when gideon hugs her in that state, and kisses her on the face, and cups her chin, she's confused and consumed by self-hatred, yes, but she also feels whole and safe and real. by the end of that scene, she's perfectly content to be soaked through her clothes and robeless and paintless and tangled up with gideon in a corner of the pool. she relaxes her head into gideon's hands and makes no attempt guard herself, physically or emotionally.

compare to john squeezing her shoulders in the cargo bay in htn. just for a second, with no other contact, and she would (paraphrasing, but close) prefer for him to have ripped out her ligaments and flossed them over her broken bones, or dripped her own stomach acid into her eyes. very graphic, visceral imagery.

thinking about harrow and mistrust, harrow and vulnerability, harrow and touch aversion, harrow and autonomy. thinking about how she trusted gideon's hands so much more than she trusted god's. thinking about how the pool scene was a moment of hard-won and intense emotional rawness from her, about what a big deal it was compared to her other behavior, and how her defenses are all so casually stripped from her in htn without a second thought. how no one around her understands what that means to her. how even she looses sight of the privacy and dignity she should be entitled to.

but the narration doesn't. the narration remains so tender and sad throughout the early chapters of htn. because gideon knows. gideon knows better than anyone what it means for harrow to be crying and paintless and out of her robes. gideon remembers how it affects harrow, for someone to touch her.

i'm gonna cry i'm gonna cry i'm gonna cry

I love the angsty bone women

I absolutely live this scene...as everyone does hah. Harrow not having a good time is my favorite snack.

Also idk if this is morally too much text from the book to post jfjdjsj ah well

I've sunk so low in the sea of sadness That even opening my eyes is not worth the effort

Gideon Nav | @wyyrdplayy Harrowhark Nonagesimus | @cassylvan Photography | @heykrashly

Referenced an artwork by @naomistares

I couldn't resist posting up a preview from the pool shoot from last evening. This was over a year in the making and we'd really started talking about wanting to do it even before that. Last year due to an injury I sustained it just couldn't happen and I sat with all the supplies until this summer and honestly, I'm glad we waited. We got TWO griddleharks, I've upgraded all my equipment, and I was a bit more confident in taking it on.

I was nervous with such a lead up that it needed to turn out right and I think we all hustled and it turned out amazing. Both sessions look distinct and have different things that had me screaming reviewing all the photos. Can't wait to share more (I'll probably post the other pair tomorrow!). We took over 1,300 photos so... there will be a lot trickling out I'm sure.

Thanks to everyone that braved the water and the dark yard, to Katiebee (our other Griddle) for feeding us and hosting and for babysitting my pool while I went home to sleep.

Boy, I missed that I could just write a dang novel on Tumblr lol

“one last question for you, reverend daughter,” said gideon.

harrow said, a little unsteadily: “nav?”

gideon leaned in.

“do you really have the hots for some chilly weirdo in a coffin?”

It deeply amuses me how John was so hands off he managed to create a situation where post-pool-scene *maybe one* of his Necros would have killed their Cavs if asked for the sake of the empire, and it *wasn't even Silas*. Like you create an entire house of intensely religious nuts and the most principled stance we ever see one take is "this is either not what God wants or God is *evil*". Judith seems like she would, but I think AYU (AYUS? AUS?) proves otherwise. Ianthe very clearly failed. Isaac... Isaac I actually feel might have. The fourth were pretty screwed up. Abigail, hell no. Pal, demonstrably not. OG Dulcinea, probably made peace with her death and wouldn't kill a man to live. And Harrow, even before the pool scene, clearly had some conflicted feelings. *At most* he could have gotten two proper Lictors out of the experiment, for the 4th and 9th, and then he'd have to kill all the other house heirs to cover it up, and then cover *that* up, because you *know* Abigail and Pal and Silas would just immediately spill the beans upon getting home.

A griddle headshot bcs apparently that's all I can draw

And a work in progress that (I MIGHT) finish

Passion, intimacy, love.

The pool scene, from the audiobook version of Gideon the Ninth, narrated by Moira Quirk, authored by Tamsyn Muir, as a treat.

The pool scene broke me in ways I can’t even express 😭 Gideon’s softness made me cry an ocean of tears (I don’t really like how Gideon’s hair turned out but wet hair is so hard to draw 😩 this was my second time drawing them)

Was the pool scene harrows first hug ever ?

Brb crying

One flesh one end

Do you think we'll all understand what "the pink scene" is, the way we all understood (and still understand) what "the pool scene" was?

Yesterday's cosplay shoot asked the question how many Griddleharks can we fit in a kiddie pool

Left Harrow is @cassylvan

Left Gideon is me

Right Gideon is // katiebeecosplay

Right Harrow is // teafuels

Photo by @heykrashly

Strike me down. You've won.

Harrowhark // teafuels (ig)

Gideon Nav // @katieandthebees

Photography // @heykrashly

Okay I couldn't contain myself and had to post the other preview shot 🫣 I'm literally vibrating with joy over this project. I love my Griddleharks sm I am the luckiest TLT photog ever.

Thank you for braving the waters well after sundown for my dramatic lighting whims 💓💓 I really wanted this shoot to be moody and dark and low color and I think we really nailed the look.

it’s been 0 days since i cried about the pool scene

first draft in case ur curious. i love it but it’s too dark 😭