#the ones called old are the new improved ones. idk how you fuck it up like that but ppl freaked out
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OH????? actual massive W what the hell
#thank fucking god 😭😭😭#xueyis voicelines rn are so weird its like 2 completely different voiceovers clashing#its like one sounds fine one is just straight up not the same character#theyre fixing the biggest grievance i had w playing her im so happy man. like eng is v good overall#so i dont wanna be swapping constantly just for her to sound normal 💀💀💀#waiting until 2.1 is p sad tho but i hope it means theyll have time to polish the delivery proper#but this is sooooo good#bc her VA Is very good!!! but somehow the direction fumbled this completely#havent kept up w sampos but like fyi if u found the leaks sub post about his fixed voicelines. the leaker labeled them wrong.#the ones called old are the new improved ones. idk how you fuck it up like that but ppl freaked out#bc the 'new' ones in the vid are actually the currently in game ones theyre removing💀💀 so obviously theyre the worse ones#rambles#hsr
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I love deconstructing 'lifestyle' articles like these, they are such a gold mine of biases and narrative formation by the chattering classes. Here we have a wonderful premise:
Now, Ms. Margo is living a dream of many American women who are seeking relationships abroad, some of whom cite the toxic dating scene in the United States
Well, no objection from me that the US has toxic dating norms. But, hm, idk, 'many women' - is this a true trend amoung the American Female? Lets see who this article features:
Ms. Margo fell in love with the city (and its men). She found a gig teaching English in Paris and moved there after she graduated from Sarah Lawrence College in May 2019.
Okay, not *that* crazy but I do think I know what kind of Sarah Lawrence grad gap years in Paris before her law degree;
For Cindy Sheahan...At the end of 2017, she quit her job and traveled throughout Southeast Asia for leisure, and she started using Tinder.
That isn't...most people can't list as their full time job "Dating in Thailand";
For Frantzces Lys...she started a podcast called “Chronicles Abroad” with her co-host, who had met Ms. Williams, 40, in Malaysia. In 2018, Ms. Lys interviewed Ms. Williams, the founder of a consultancy, and the two kept in touch. They started dating years later.
Oh yeah the extremely relatable situation of a podcast host and boutique consultancy founder travelling to Mayalsia!!
“When you decide to just live your life for yourself, you actually end up stumbling upon people that match your energy and the same ideals and values,” said Ms. Lys, a 42-year-old founder of a wellness company.
Oh a wellness company, who hasn't founded one of those!!! And a link to their company, wow thanks NYT, that was definitely gonna be my follow-up for Ms. Lys:
Cepee Tabibian, who moved to Madrid at 35 from Austin, Texas, felt similarly.
Okay that could be normal, what do she d-
In 2020, she met her partner, who is Spanish. Now, she is the founder of She Hit Refresh, a community that helps women over the age of 30 move to a different country.
Jesus fucking Christ none of these people are real. They are full-hog in the industry of packaging and selling their Life of Insight & Discovery for $500 an hour over zoom sessions to non profits hosting leadership seminars, their dating isn't dating its brand management. I don't doubt they authentically love their life but this, shockingly, is not a trend, is not a sample, is not ethnographic data, this is an ad buy by a sliver of globe-trotting wealthy woman masquerading as journalism.
Absolutely the only relatable person is:
Alexis Brown, for example, noticed a lack of “effort and intention” from the men she was dating in Atlanta, where she attended Spelman College.
When she traveled across Europe for vacation from October 2022 to January 2023, however, the people she dated made it clear that they wanted to spend time with her.
Who takes way more words than is necessary to tell me she had a polycule stretching from Paris to Prague during her study abroad, which, good for her, that is what study abroad is for. Shockingly, this is not a new development in the collegiate experience!
Buried amoung the branded bullshit is Alexis's real gem and the only true 'thesis' of the article:
“The dating culture in the U.S. is that it’s cool and normalized to be indifferent to someone and not really express how you genuinely feel,” Ms. Brown, 23, said.
Which is essentially that in Europe people will "express emotion" unlike the cold, busy America. I don't doubt this, but I would hope a writer at the NYT's could have slightly more social awareness; the 'reason' Americans do not "express emotion" is that if they did you would dump them right on their ass on the first date.
Someone telling you, to quote Ms Margo:
“This one guy was like, ‘I ran through traffic just to look into your eyes once, and if you don’t want to go on a date with me, I can die happy knowing that I just met you,’” said Ms. Margo, a 28-year-old English teacher from Los Angeles.
As an opening line is cringe and uncomfortable, because they do not know you. They are lying and you know they are lying, it is a horrible foundation for a long term relationship. American dating norms have been hammering this lesson home on every participant (but if we are being honest, its primarily women hammering this home on men) and it is probably right to do. Anyone who does this lacks credibility.
But when you are in ~*Paris*~, you don't care about their credibility, because you lack it yourself. You are on vacation, you have no future, just a sequential present. If the guy who tells you your eyes are his world turns out to be a clingy failson who requires at least a blowjob a day to keep his mood stable, you can just *get up and leave the country*, you cannot be trapped because nothing is keeping you there. By placing an ocean between yourself and your social standing you can radically change your standards.
And you know what, there is something to that! Maybe the 18-point-checklist you mentally process every Tinder swipe through as you plan out your dream wedding on Cape Cod to a status-swollen ghost in a Tom Ford speckle-gray blazer while on lunch break from your quant analysis job at a digital marketing start-up in Chelsea isn't the best baggage to bring into a first date! Through radically shifting your social context it might be possible to jar your brain out of what is holding it back. Its not what you found in Paris, but what you left behind in America, that could actually make a difference... and that reality could give this article some heft.
But then say that instead of trying to sell me on the idea that:
For Ms. Margo, a Black woman who attended predominantly white institutions throughout her school years, she felt ignored in the United States, as if she “was not an option,” she said. In Paris she felt seen.
France is less racist than the campus of Sarah Fucking Lawrence against black people. No wonder the humanities are dying if they are teaching this level of self awareness.
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Nightshade
Chapter 22 | Chapter 24
Holy shit it's been a minute! Hi y'all! I'm back! Life's been absolutely insane lately and finding the time or the inspiration to write has just been really hard the past month or so. So, sorry this has taken so long to get out, but to make it up to y'all here's a 40 PAGE chapter! 😅😂
TW: THIS TW CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS! The usual, language, smoking, drinking, mentions of drugs and alcohol, some very painful memories, mentions of abuse/neglect, mentions/descriptions of nudity and inappropriate photos of a minor, violence, blood, character death, panic attacks, general not so good stuff is gonna go down, unhealthy coping mechanisms (aka ignoring all the shit going wrong until we can't anymore), make out scenes, dirty talk, some minor roleplay if you squint, and finally some fuckin SMUT! Yeah, the will they won't they train has FINALLY left the station! We've got some teasing, foreplay, oral female & male receiving (kind of a little), penetration, nipple play, idk what else to tell ya xD And a little bit of unhealty family drama at the end of it :)
Also it's super late where I live so this chapter was very VERY roughly edited, so if ya see any mistakes, no you don't xD
Chapter 23: Oysters & Champagne
The greatest changes happen with time. It is the slow, steady progression that paves the way forward for bigger, brighter things. The shift between day and night, the methodical building of new cities and roads, and the lowering of one's guard to allow connection and emotion to take hold. The greatest things often happen slowly, then all at once.
As I watched Jake sign to Prue from across the diner table, taking her feedback with a determination I wouldn't have expected from him when we'd first met, it was hard not to think of Rada's old saying. “Slowly, then all at once,” Rada explained as she helped guide my brush into lighter, slower strokes. “See? Rome was not built in a day my Lena, your painting will not be perfected in that time either.”
So much had changed in the past months that it was hard to even remember how it all began. In the beginning, Jake had been just another annoying bad-boy bartender that wanted a quick easy fuck and I'd been just another closed-off, flighty back waiter. Yet, here we were, sitting side by side in a diner booth. It was strange to think that when we'd first met I wanted nothing to do with him or his flirtatious advances and now… Now I couldn't imagine a moment without him.
“Okay, okay, let me try this,” he said with a sly grin. “Your boyfriend is a pussy.”
Prue rolled her eyes, but admitted, “You're improving.”
“Thank you,” he beamed, clearly pleased with himself and his joke.
She reached over the table and flicked his head. “You're an ass.”
Jake rubbed his forehead as I laughed. “You deserved that.”
“Worth it.”
As we happily resumed eating our breakfasts the diner door opened and slammed shut. Quinn tore her jacket off and threw it into the booth as she slid in and picked up her menu. It'd been like this for a few days. Quinn would show up pissed off about something, we'd ask, she'd tell us it was nothing and then she'd get drunk every night. It was an obvious cycle of coping, the question was what she was coping with.
Prue and I shared a glance, trying to work out the best way to approach the subject. Jake, however, just went straight into speaking, “What's crawled up your ass?”
“Nothing,” she ground out glaring at him from behind her menu.
He laughed. “And you call me grumpy.”
Something in her finally broke. “Fuck you, at least I have a reason to be so grumpy!”
“Yeah?” He continued to press, the asshole in him just unable to contain his glee at getting a rise out of someone. “Like what?”
“Like my dumbass fucking dad showing up!”
The silence that followed was interrupted by the sound of our forks clacking against the plates. Quinn's dad was something serious, something that rarely came up anymore but serious all the same. He was a known addict who spent her entire childhood bouncing between neglect and full-fledged abuse. When Quinn lived across the street from us we could hear him yelling and throwing things at all hours of the day. At night he'd leave, sometimes for weeks at a time, and Quinn would essentially come and live with us until her dad came pounding on our door demanding his kid back.
My dad had beat the shit out of him more times than I could remember, but other than that there wasn't much we could do, not when Quinn refused to let us. For years she held out hope that her dad would one day get things figured out and they could be a real family. That hope died when she turned sixteen and he disappeared. After she'd grown up and gotten on her own two feet he started showing up at random asking for money or a place to stay while he “figured some things out”, but that always ended the same. With Quinn brokenhearted.
“Your dad's back in town?” I asked. “Why didn't you say anything?”
“It doesn't matter,” she responded.
“Yes, it does! We all know what he puts you through, Quinn. We could-”
“You could do nothing because unlike you I don't have two big brothers and a drug dealer on speed dial.” The harsh words settled over the table, sinking into both of us for a minute before Quinn shook her head and relented to the tired ache in her. “I… I'm sorry, Lee. I didn't mean that.”
“It's okay,” I reassured her, reaching across the table to take her hand. “I know.”
Tears built in her eyes but she wouldn't cry, not because of him, not ever again. “I told him to fuck off already so he's probably halfway back into whatever hole he crawled out of.”
Prue put her arm around Quinn's shoulder and hugged her. “Want us to stay with you? I can close up shop for the day.”
“I can call in,” I offered.
“I can say pussy,” Jake added, getting a laugh out of her. “Seriously though, I dunno what they're saying but… Fuck your dad.”
She sniffled and shook off the wave of sorrow. “Thanks, all of you, but I'm good.”
Holding out her pinky Prue gave her a look. “Pinky swear?”
Quinn shook it and nodded. “Pinky swear.”
“And, just for the record,” I said, “My brothers would always come to help you, Quinn. So would Dom. You're not alone.”
“I know,” she whispered, but I could see what was left unsaid in her eyes. It's not the same. We may have been Quinn's found family, but the hurt in her was the same as Patrick felt. She knew she wasn't blood… She knew if it came to a choice between me and her my brothers would choose me every time. And nothing I said or did would change her mind on it.
The ring of Jake's phone broke the uneasy silence. He checked the number with narrow eyes. “It's Dom.”
“Dom's calling you?” Quinn questioned, forcing herself to relax even just partially.
“Okay, what did you guys do that day I was gone?” I teased. “First he's actually using your government name, then he's calling you on the phone?”
Jake shushed me as he answered. “Hey, what's up? Uh… No, I don't. Sure, I guess. Yeah, see you in a bit.”
“What was that about?”
“Apparently I'm getting a couch and a TV.”
I shook my head and nudged him. “Seriously, what did you do?”
Jake shrugged, taking a final bite of his food before standing. “Don't worry bout it, Princess. See you at work.”
“See you at work,” I replied. “Don't break any legs trying to move that shit into your tiny apartment.”
He flipped me off as he made his way out the diner door and headed out. When I turned back to the table Quinn and Prue were both grinning at me. “You've seen his apartment now?”
“It's not a big deal,” I replied.
“Is this part of that juicy phone call I intercepted a while ago?” Her eyebrows rose. “A sexy debt if I remember correctly.”
“I have no clue what you're talking about.”
Prue slapped her hands on the table. “Spill it!”
“There's nothing to spill,” I insisted.
“Bullshit!” Quinn interjected. “You were gone all day.”
With a roll of my eyes and a giddy, girlish feeling making my stomach fill with butterflies I caved. “We just hung out and took a few pictures with his camera.”
Quinn's brows wiggled. “Sexy pictures?”
“Maybe…”
Prue happily squeaked. “Oh my god did you two finally-”
“No.”
Quinn groaned, throwing her head back. “Oh my god! Just fuck already!”
I shook my head. “Classy, Quinn.”
“Seriously!” She continued. “I feel like I'm getting blue balled and I'm not even involved in your almost fucks!”
“Just think about how great it would feel to finally do it,” Prue added. “I know I was absolutely buzzing when Will and I finally did!”
“I…” With a sigh I looked down and quickly, quietly admitted. “I have thought about it.”
Quinn quickly translated for Prue and both of them became insatiable for the rest of breakfast.
*
Jake watched the bikers easily maneuver the decently sized couch and the modest TV around the stairs and up into his apartment. He'd attempted to help a few times but quickly got told to “bugger off” by what looked like an eighty-year-old man, so he just stood and watched. Dom stood next to him, silently observing before he finally asked, “Well, what do you think?”
“It looks good,” he answered. “Still a bit confused as to why you're giving me this shit but hey, frees free.”
Dom chuckled, a real chuckle. “I don't got the room for it, besides, you earned it.”
Shaking his head, Jake once again reiterated the facts. “I didn't do anything. I just-”
“You just protected her,” Dom finished for him. “That ain’t nothin’, Jake.”
“Yeah, but I don't need… Payment or anything for it.” He looked at Dom, meeting the hardened eyes. “I didn't do it for that.”
“I know.” The drug dealer clapped him on the shoulder. “Consider it a gift then.”
“Didn't take you for a guy that gave out gifts.”
“I'm not, so just say thank you and we'll never speak of it again.”
Jake chuckled. “Thank you, Dom.”
“Shut up,” he answered, nodding to the new space. “It's a bit crowded.”
With a shrug, Jake just examined the soft leather. “It's not too bad. I'm used to tight spaces.”
Hemingway leaped onto the sofa, purring as he rubbed the soft leather on his skin. “Well, at least the cat likes it.” Dom watched the others leave and moved to follow. “Call me if you can't get the TV workin'. I'll have John come out and fix it.”
“John's the one that calls me a twit, right?”
“Yep.”
“I'm sure the TV works fine.” He waved them off and closed the door, staring at the tiny living room he now had set up.
It wasn't perfect or fancy, most people would even argue that it was too much for the already cramped space, but Jake kind of liked it. His chair had gotten pushed into the back corner with his guitar on top of it. The edges of the couch left only a little room for people to slide past to the bathroom, but he rarely had company over so that didn't matter much. The TV fit on top of one of his shelves and left enough room for him to put DVDs or VHS tapes up too. He'd moved the thin coffee table he never used into the center of the space, pushing it up against the shelf a bit so there was enough legroom for the couch and then he sat down.
“Well,” he asked, turning towards the cat. “What do you think?”
Hemingway's only response was a loud purr as he curled up on the section of couch that was bathed in sunlight.
Jake chuckled at the creature and settled into the leather, resting his head against the back of the couch. “Yeah, it's pretty nice.”
*
22West was relatively quiet when I got in. The kitchen was almost done with prep work and from what I could tell we weren't overbooked. The locker room was empty and stayed empty as I changed into my work attire. It felt kind of nice, to have a moment of quiet to myself at the start of a hopeful easy shift.
Jake set his bike down by the door and quickly entered, hair still disheveled. I closed my locker and smirked at him. “You're running later than normal.”
“I fell asleep,” he answered, practically tearing the locker open and throwing his newly returned jacket to me. I opened my mouth to protest, but he just gave me a look over his shoulder, “Just let this one be easy for me tonight?”
“Fine,” I agreed, reopening my locker and shoving the jacket inside. “Just this once.”
“Thanks, princess.”
“How was moving your couch in?”
Jake just chuckled. “I barely touched the damn thing. The bikers took care of everything.”
I nodded in agreement. “Yeah, they're pretty efficient when they wanna be. So, are you ever gonna spill the beans on why you're all so buddy-buddy all of a sudden?”
He glanced at me, a fleeting thing shining in his eyes before he looked down at his tie and shrugged. “There’s nothing to tell, really. I just came looking for you and they… Respected that.”
Glaring at him through narrow eyes I reached up and helped him with his tie. “Likely story.”
“You worried they'll start to like me better than you?” He teased.
“As if!” I laughed. “You're not nearly that charming.”
With a smirk, Jake leaned forward, “So how charming do you think I am?”
Humming in thought I knew the real answer. The instant, resounding too charming filled my brain for a minute before I answered. “I'd say you're a solid four.”
“Four?!” He scoffed. “I'm higher than four.”
“You certainly think so,” I replied with a wicked grin, my hands smoothing down his chest. His phone buzzed against the metal material of his locker. “I'll save you a plate, sweetie.”
Rolling his eyes he answered with a simple, “Thanks.”
Once I'd emerged from the kitchen the noise that the restaurant had been absent of, filled the space. Everyone was gathered around the wall instead of at the table eating. They whispered to one another, giggling and making suggestive faces. “What are we giggling about?”
Sasha smirked, giddily grabbing my wrist to pull me towards the wall. “We are just admiring the new painting that has graced our humble restaurant!”
The crowd parted and my heart stopped dead in my chest. There, hanging on the wall in front of me was, well, me. My portrait. My nude portrait. I felt lightheaded, my vision blurring, and the voices of everyone joking and teasing were suddenly drowned out by a loud, shrill ringing.
It wasn't the sight of my nude body that filled me with a sense of dread. Though I still hated the sight of it - of what it had originally represented - it was the large splatter of crimson that stained the canvas that truly made my heart sink. It was the vivid and violent contrast between the soft hues of acrylic and the hard flakes of dried blood.
My brush slid along the canvas, the bright hues of blue and yellow, and lavender contrasting against the neutral skin tones of my self-portrait. I'd struggled to look at it, the fleshy rendering of my mostly nude figure. Its imperfections made me feel even more inadequate than I already did, the reference photo being one of the first that Tony had taken of me. That was his art, dressing and posing me to look perfect - to look like the beautiful and obedient woman he always said I'd grow into.
Truthfully I hadn't even considered painting something for this upcoming gala, having known well in advance they only wanted nudes or mostly sos to display. That wasn't what I painted, nor was it something I was particularly interested in doing, but Tony had insisted. So, there it was in all its hideous, imperfect glory. The portrait of a self I didn't even feel was me, but rather the hollow husk everyone else wanted. Everyone but Rada.
She peered over her shoulder, watching me paint for a moment as she cleaned the penthouse living room. The look on her face told me that she hated it as much as I did. But, she said nothing about how cold and lifeless it felt or about how she thought it in poor taste to paint a fourteen-year-old nude. Rada just kept cleaning, offering me what reassurance she could, like she always did. And like always, just knowing she was here was enough.
The elevator dinged open and Jules held Tony up, guiding him to the nearest chair and helping him get settled. It was obvious that he'd just got back from one of his benders on the flight back from France so I tried to keep my eyes to myself. Tony was never predictable per se, but he was always constant. His violence was never random, nor was it ever out of the blue. But, that changed when he got high enough.
“I'll go get the doctor, just to be certain you haven't taken too much.”
He chuckled. “Ever loyal, my dear friend. Some in the house could learn from you.”
The jab was obviously meant for me, but I kept my eyes on my painting, hoping it would spare me his anger for at least tonight. Jules exited quickly and with him gone, everything fell apart. The first noise I heard was the sound of metal clinking against the marble countertop, and the next was the bone-chilling sound of the cylinder of his revolver spinning.
My brush froze on the canvas, ears honing into the slow steps he took toward me before he hauled me up by the hair. “Let's play a game, baby girl.”
“I…” The words struggled to find their way from my throat as my eyes caught Rada's. “I have to finish my painting for the gala tomorrow.”
“It can wait,” he insisted, throwing me back into the counter and pinning me against it.
He spun the cylinder again, a crazed grin settling on his lips as he held it to his head and pulled the trigger twice. As always, he laughed when I flinched and then forced the gun into my hand. “I don't-” His finger forced my own down onto the trigger.
The game played out like it always did until Tony's smile faltered and a rage seemed to fill his eyes. “Do you love me?”
I'd spoken the words so many times before then, but for some reason, I froze. My brain screamed at me, begging me to say it - to tell him I loved him, but deep in my heart I knew the truth. I don't love you. This isn't love. The rage spilled from his eyes, overtaking his face as he struck me hard enough to make my head hit the counter. The blow was enough to force the words out, “I do! You know I love you!”
“Is that right?” He spat, carelessly tossing the gun onto the counter and holding my head down on it. I gripped at him, searching for skin to scratch or anything to get him off me. “You didn't seem so sure just a moment ago.”
“No! I'm sure! I… I was just confused!”
“Confused?” He laughed, a sound that sent chills up my spine and made my muscles all tense. “Stupid girl. Do you even understand?” He hauled me up, holding my face in one of his hands so hard I could feel my jaw crack. “You're alive because I want you. If it weren't for me, you'd be nothing!”
“I know!” My lips trembled as I blinked back tears. “I'm nothing without you, Tony. I know that. Please…”
I prepared myself for another bout of his laughter, or another blow maybe, but neither came. Instead, I heard the cock of Tony's gun and a surprised… Annoyed sound leave his throat. “What do you think you're doing?”
“Let go of her,” Rada demanded. From the corner of my blurred vision, I could just barely see her, standing at the end of the counter pointing Tony's gun at him with slightly trembling hands. “You let her go now, or I swear on all of God's holy saints I will kill you.”
He laughed then, that deep, boisterous one that sent terror through me. Turning his head Tony smiled at me. “Seems you're not the only one that's forgotten their place.”
Through the tight grip of his hands, I begged, pleaded with him, “Please…”
With one harsh shove, my head collided with the counter enough to make my ears ring and my vision spin. I could hear his footsteps and the quiet sound of the gun's trigger being pulled.
Click.
Fear, desperate and heavy, filled my lungs and stole my breath as I scrambled to find my bearings.
Click.
Click.
Click.
Bang.
My vision cleared just in time to watch Rada collapse half on top of my painting. Blood gushed from the side of her neck, spraying across the canvas and staining the carpet. A sharp breath finally filled my lungs, yet I still found them breathless. “NO!”
I scrambled forward, pressing my hands to her neck and desperately trying to apply enough pressure to stop the bleeding. Her body shook beneath me, at least it felt that way… It could have been my own shaking. Through the sound of her gurgling breaths, I could hear Tony laughing. “L… Le…”
“Shh,” I urged. “Don't talk. Just hold on. Someone's gonna help.”
Rada smiled, tears filling her eyes as she struggled to lift a hand to lovingly brush my hair behind my ear. “My… Bea…utifil…” Blood splattered across my face as she coughed. “Da… Daugh…”
I could feel her skin grow cold as her chest stuttered and then stopped. “No! Mama please!” I sobbed, moving my hands to shake her shoulders. “Don't leave me here! Mama!”
“What's happened?” Jules’ voice cut through my screams as he burst into the room.
Tony, still laughing, waved him off. “One of the maids got a bit too bold. Don't worry, my friend, I took care of it.”
Rage filled me, rage and grief and a forever-festering desire to end it all. Chest heaving and lungs burning I stood and turned to the kitchen as Jules helped Tony back to his seat. I grabbed a knife from the counter and ran forward with a wail. Tony's eyes shined at the sight of me and the knife flying toward him as if this was what he wanted. Jules turned his head and with no hesitation, he threw himself between Tony and me.
Blood, hot and sticky, splashed my hands and face as my knife met flesh.
*
Jake glared at the message on his phone, a sense of regret and shame making him feel sick to his stomach.
Won't be back for another day or two. - Simone
When Jake had finally worked up the courage to answer her calls on Thanksgiving morning she'd been livid. She screamed at him for being so selfish and childish and demanded he stop with his attitude and come with her. He'd held his ground, of course, but the sting of her anger always made him feel like a pathetic eight-year-old boy being scolded. Jake had said sorry. He'd texted her, checking in, he even tried to call, but she'd given him nothing in response until now.
He breathed out a frustrated breath and put his phone back in his pocket, shutting his locker and hurrying downstairs to distract himself from the weight of his feelings with food and his friends gossiping. That, however, was not what he walked into. The group gathered around one of the walls, laughing and asking questions when he approached. “The fucks everyone pissing themselves over?”
Ari shifted, revealing more of the large painting that now hung on the wall of the restaurant. Jake’s jaw dropped at the sight of a nude figure - a body he'd grown most familiar with in the past months. If he'd been unsure at all, the bold curves of her name labeling the corner of the piece erased it. Lena.
The redhead in question stood, frozen staring up at it as Sasha talked and teased in her ear. A cold shiver crawled up his spine at the sight of her. This wasn't just some embarrassing nude portrait. This was something else. Something that made her spine stiffen and her skin lose its color.
Jake shoved past everyone and moved between Lena and Sasha. The Russian cursed at him in the foreign language. “What the hell?”
“Fuck off Sasha!”
With a prideful scoff, he turned away, shooing the crowd. “Bossy bossy!”
“Lena,” Jake whispered, reaching out for her. His fingers barely grazed her arm before she recoiled, a quick reaction he would have missed if he'd not been paying attention. She turned and looked at him with glossy eyes and a dead expression that made his gut tighten and his heart drop. “Lena?”
With a sharp exhale and a staggering step, she was moving. She stepped around him, shoved through the crowd and across the lobby. Her body flung itself through the kitchen doors and Jake followed, not even sure if it was what she'd want. The second he entered behind her he found her hunched over the garbage, throwing up the breakfast they'd shared. The kitchen crew all made noises of disgust and Scott dropped his utensils to turn and look at the disruption. “What the hell, Red?”
Lena composed herself, wiping the spit from her mouth with a shaking hand. “S-sorry chef.”
“Are you good now?” Scott asked, his tone as harsh and uncaring as it always was, but his eyes narrowed in concern.
Isaac had dropped everything and rushed to the front of the line, held off only by her raising a hand to stop him as she shook her head. “I… Just…” She looked like she was about to puke again, but held it back. “I just need a minute.”
As she turned toward the stairs, not meeting his eyes, Jake felt his worry shift to anger. This had to be him. The Anthony that Dom had told him about. And in that moment, Jake understood Patrick's bitterness about how little he truly knew. He felt unprepared - unequipped to offer Lena any help, but even with that aching feeling, Jake followed her up the stairs. He'd be there, no matter what she needed from him, Jake would be there.
*
I knew I was moving, talking. I could feel each strained movement and hear each shaky reply. None of it registered. In my mind, I was still standing in front of that painting… Still in the penthouse living room watching my mom bleed out. I was stuck, or my mind was, reliving that moment over and over again while my body just kept moving on autopilot.
“What can we do when we feel stuck?” Dad asked.
“Keep moving.”
“Keep moving. Find something to ground you.”
“Keep moving,” I murmured to myself as I stumbled up the stairs. “Just keep moving.”
I could hear someone following me up, but I didn't stop or look back. I just had to keep going. One foot in front of the other. When I finally made it to the locker room bathroom I barely registered slamming the door shut and fumbling for the knobs of the faucet. It felt like my head was spinning with the noise and the heat and the nausea.
“Get out,” I told myself in the mirror trying to focus on my face and drown out the sound of Tony's laugh with the running water. “Get out.”
“Stupid girl. Do you even understand?”
I was going to throw up again. “Get out.”
“If it weren't for me, you'd be nothing.”
A pounding came from the door as it got harder and harder to breathe. “Get out.”
“I'm the only one that could ever love you.”
In the background, I heard the door open, but whoever was standing in it was distorted… Replaced by Tony's laughing face and his thin frame. It isn't real, I told myself, but my body was already gone. Desperate panic forced the shrill cry from my lips, “GET OUT!”
Whoever it was vanished, but the fear didn't go with them. Every inch of me shook as I scrambled to find a foothold in reality. I needed something, anything to keep me from passing out. “Find something to ground you.”
There was one thing that would keep me going. One thing I could use. I turned the cold water off and stuck my hands beneath the boiling water. The pain made everything else fade away, forcing my body to stay on its feet and pulling my mind to the present. My heart hammered in my chest and a pained cry echoed in my ears as I stared into my own reflection.
Tears stained my cheeks and my hair had tiny clumps of throw up in it. It wasn't pretty, but it was real. I was here. The door opened again and Isaac opened his mouth, obviously having prepared something to say. That something vanished as he watched the steam rise up from the sink and he realized what I was doing. He ran forward and turned the water off, switching it to cold as he looked at my red hands. “Shit!”
“I couldn't get out,” I whispered in a broken… Pathetic voice.
Isaac held me from behind, keeping my hands beneath the now-cold water as I began to shake again. The pain was gone and without it, everything else started to creep back in. “It's okay, Lena. It's okay.”
“I…” A breathless whine caught in my throat. “I can't get out.”
“You're out,” he answered. “You're here.”
“I… I…” My body lurched forward, bile spewing from my mouth as panic began to set back in.
Isaac squeezed my hands and stammered before he released me. “Okay… Fuck… Okay, I… I'm gonna call Peter.”
I shut my eyes, setting my head against the chilled sink. “Getoutgetoutgetoutgetout.”
Without even really thinking I shut the cold water off and reached for the hot water knob. Find something to ground yourself. A hand settled on top of mine as a new body settled in Isaac's place behind me, one I recognized instantly. “Stop.”
Jake.
Standing upright I opened my eyes, I stared into his eyes through the mirror. “Can you tell me what you need?”
Clenching my jaw I shook my head as my chest stuttered with repressed sobs. “That's okay.” Jake gently pulled my arms back, crossing them over my chest and holding me tightly to his. “Can you feel my heartbeat?”
I nodded.
“Can you feel my breaths?”
I nodded again.
“Breathe with me,” he whispered, pressing his head to mine as he quietly counted. I watched us through the mirror for a minute before I let my eyes shut. Jake's steady breaths fanned across my neck, his heart beat against my back and his warm embrace sank into my bones. It was like his whole body was speaking to mine… Telling it that there was no danger. I was safe. “That's it, just breathe, Princess. You're here. You're safe with me.”
I'm safe. I'm with Jake. Slowly my breaths began to even out and my brain felt less muddled. I'm with Jake. My body stopped shaking and eventually, all that was left was us. I'm safe.
Isaac's panicked voice echoed as he walked back towards the bathroom door. “I don't know what to do! She's… I don't even know how to explain it.”
Swallowing, I quietly asked, “Is he talking to my brother?”
“Yeah,” Jake answered. “He got worried.”
“Can you tell him I'm okay now? I…” I opened my eyes and met Jake's gaze. “I don't want Peter to come all the way down here. Please.”
“Okay.” He looked down at the sink.
“I'm good now,” I assured him. “I'm just gonna sit down for a minute.”
If it were anyone else they'd likely have fought me, but this was Jake. He knew I wasn't lying. His hold on me loosened and he carefully helped me sit on top of the toilet lid. “I'll be right back.”
While the muffled conversation carried on outside the door I just sat there, staring at my reddened hands with an empty sense of impending doom. He was here. In this restaurant. He'd hung that painting where every guest, everyone passing close enough by the windows, would be able to see it. Still, I knew it wasn't about publicly shaming me. If that were the case he would've chosen to frame one of the many photos he had of me. This was a personal message. A reminder.
“If you're going to play games, you'd best be prepared to do whatever it takes to win.” He reminded me often after that night, that Rada had played and lost. That Francois had played and lost. Everyone always lost. “They don't have the mind or the stomach to win this game of ours, baby girl. We're still the only ones even playing.”
Deep down I knew what this meant. I knew, yet I refused to think it - to breathe life into that horrifying and terrible thought. He didn't get to toy with me. He didn't get to scare me out of this life.
This life was mine. I had survived his horrors, I'd taken the blows and I'd made my choices. I had fought and bled and killed for this life. He didn't get to take that away, not now, not ever. He didn't get to win.
I wiped my eyes and forced everything back into that box deep inside me. Once my feet steadied I walked out into the locker room where Jake had taken the phone from Isaac and was trying to talk my brothers down. I held my hand out. “Let me talk to them.”
Jake watched me for a minute before he nodded, “She wants to talk to you. Here.”
“Thanks.” I held the phone to my ear, listening to Patrick in the background throwing things around in search of his shoes. “I'm fine. Just stay home and take care of the gym.”
“Fuck that!” Patrick yelled.
“Is he there?” Peter asked, his voice filled with the rage he rarely had.
Sparing a glance at Jake I answered, “No. He's not stupid enough to show up with Dom around.”
“Then what happened?”
Flashes filled my head again as I forced myself to answer. “It's just a painting, Pete.”
“Which painting?”
“One you don't have to worry about,” I bit in bitter frustration. “Just… Please don't come. Please.”
“Lena you-”
“I am fine.” I insisted coldly. “I… I just want to work, okay? Can you just let me do that?”
Peter was quiet for a moment before he asked, “Promise me you're safe?”
As if on their own, my eyes drifted to Jake again, meeting those sea-blue eyes. “I promise.”
He shouted at Patrick before speaking again. “Okay. Put Isaac back on.”
“Thank you.” I turned towards the door where Isaac stood biting his nails. “Here.”
I watched him move out of the locker room, talking to my brother for a second before I turned back to Jake. What do I say? I asked myself. He no doubt had a thousand questions, all of which would be tied up in the painting… Which was tied up in Rada and Tony and everything I didn't want him to know. So, when his mouth opened I stopped breathing. “What do you need?”
What? My brain went blank in seconds as I gaped at him. “W… Don't you have like a million questions?”
“Course I do,” he replied simply. “The most important of them being that one. So, what do you need?”
“Honestly? I… Kinda wanna just forget this ever happened.” I admitted looking down at my feet. “
“That's gonna be kinda hard with that thing hanging up out there.”
“Yeah, it is.”
He shrugged a shoulder and moved to pass me. “Gimme one minute.”
I followed him to the door. “What are you doing?”
“Just trust me, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Sasha!” He hollered, heading across the hall toward the front room. “Give me a hand real quick?”
Service started before Jake came back and so I jumped into work. I used it to distract myself from obsessing over the fact that hundreds of rich assholes were out there, no doubt looking at my painting - my body. That got harder to do when Will moved me to back waiting. The first follow of my night felt like I was walking right into a lion's den. And then it suddenly wasn't.
I didn't know what they did, all I knew was when I walked out of the kitchen and into the sea of customers, the painting was nowhere in sight. I looked at Jake as he worked behind the bar, and all the answer he offered me was a smile.
After that, the night felt a little less heavy and before I knew it we were all gathering around the bar for after shift drinks. I gave Nicky a pat on the back and smiled. “Head home Nick, I'll get it all closed up.”
“You sure?” He asked, handing me his bar rag.
“Go on,” I urged.
Jake and I worked side by side, serving drinks to each of our friends as they all mingled and began to filter out the door. It felt good to be behind the bar with him again, but whenever I looked up all I could see was that painting on the wall. Fighting that foreboding feeling was tiring and not something I wanted to spend all night doing.
“So,” Jake started cautiously as he stacked a few glasses. “Today was a lot.”
I sighed and looked down at the bartop. “Yeah… Sorry about earlier. I wasn't trying to be… I dunno, pathetic.”
“You were hardly pathetic,” he assured me.
“Thanks,” I whispered, finally looking up at him.
“For what?”
“Grounding me.” Suddenly shy beneath his gaze I looked away. “I have a hard time coming out of episodes like that and you… You made it less shitty. A lot less shitty. So, thank you.”
His fingers combed through my hair as he brushed it behind my ear. “No problem, Princess.”
“Let's get drunk tonight.”
With a smirk, he asked, “You think that'll help?”
“Can't hurt to try.” I shrugged, repeating the words he'd told me. “Besides, I kinda want you to be all over me again.”
Jake's smirk grew wider, turning to pull my body into his. “Like this?”
I nodded, happily drinking in the warmth and the smell of him. “Yeah. Like that.”
“Come on then,” he answered, tugging me out from behind the bar and throwing his jacket around my shoulders. “Let's go.”
*
Jake watched Lena dance from the bar as he nursed his first and likely only drink for the night. She'd been drinking steadily since they arrived, though no one seemed to want to discourage her from it. Peter and Patrick had told Dom shortly after Lena had talked them out of coming and so he and the bikers were nowhere in sight. Whether that was something to worry about or not, he didn't know.
At first, he'd considered talking to the brothers about the whole situation, but Patrick had just given him a shake of his head and nodded to Lena. A reminder that everything - or almost everything - they did was on her terms. They'd discuss it when she was ready to. She'll never be ready to, he told himself.
Lena was strong and stubborn. In those first months, he'd thought she was fearless. The longer he spent with her - with everyone - the more he realized that no one was truly unafraid. Everyone feared something and that was okay… It was normal to be afraid. Fear often meant that you cared about something outside of yourself. But, Lena's fear was something entirely different. Her fear was intertwined with her anger and her sorrow. So much of her was packed into the threads she refused to acknowledge let alone pull on.
So, she'd keep drinking and dancing and moving forward. She'd leave seeing that painting in the restaurant as buried as whatever memory it was tied to. And, though his stomach twisted into knots at the thought of leaving her panic attack in the bathroom unresolved, Jake would let her have this. He had to.
After an hour he excused himself outside, not bothering to take the alley to the couch while the bikers had vacated their spot out front of the bar. He grabbed his jacket from Lena's seat and fished out his cigarettes and his lighter, moving to pull one out when he looked up and saw Quinn. She was boxed up against the wall outside by an older, angry-looking man - her father if he had to guess. From the door, Jake could see the tears building in her eyes as he screamed at her and grabbed her arms to shake her. His jaw clenched and his feet carried him toward her. “Hey!”
“Jake-” she tried to interrupt.
He ignored her, shoving the man's filthy hands off Quinn and occupying the spot in front of her. “Get the fuck out of here.”
Her dad laughed. “You’re a real tough guy, huh? Do you know who the fuck I am?”
“Don't care.” Jake shoved him again when he tried to get up in his face.
“You're gonna regret this,” he said, spitting at Jake's feet as he glared at Quinn and slunk back into the night mumbling and grumbling curses and threats under his breath.
He waited until the man had vanished around the corner to turn to Quinn. She was closed off, almost angry as she huffed, “You didn't have to do that.”
“I know,” Jake answered, lighting his cigarette. He took a drag before wordlessly offering it to her. Quinn accepted and smoked in silence alongside him. “So, that's your dad?”
“Yep.”
“Seems like a real charmer.”
She sighed. “Yeah.”
Jake recognized the look in her eyes, that painful anger. “I never knew my dad, but he probably wasn't too different from your old man.”
“It sucks, right?” she asked, looking up at him. “Being so… Unimportant to someone that's supposed to love you.”
“Yeah, it does,” he earnestly replied. “But, we've got other people, you know… Better people.”
“I know,” she whispered. “That's different though.”
With a solemn nod, he agreed, “I know it is.”
“Thanks,” she said, clearing her throat. “For the smoke.”
“No problem. And, if he shows up again or bothers you or whatever, just call me and I'll come take care of it.”
“You don't have to worry about me,” Quinn insisted with a sad look.
It was a simple, sad sentence, one Jake had used countless times before. He knew the ugly truth that hid behind the words. I don't want to be weak. Weak. It was laughable to think anyone found Quinn weak. In all the time he'd known her, she was nothing short of sassy, strong, and confident. Yet, here, on the side of the street, Quinn looked small.
She must've felt small too, the way she kept glancing at him with that fearful hint of shame. Jake felt a few things swirl around in his chest. Anger that her shitty dad made her feel like this small and unimportant. Sad that her shitty dad made her feel unloved. But the strongest among them was a new, blinding need to protect her. Jake wanted to make sure Quinn never felt that way ever again and it was frightening for a moment. However scared he was of this new responsible feeling, he quickly decided that he didn't care.
He didn't care how scared he was, he knew Quinn and he knew that she deserved the same kind of family that she'd given him with her persistence and her meddling. “Yeah, but what kinda big brother would I be if I didn't.”
Her eyes filled with tears as she looked up at him and breathed out a soft laugh. “I…I've never had a big brother before.”
“I've never been one before,” he replied, looking anywhere but her face. “Guess it'll be something new for both of us.”
Quinn nodded, and without another word, she stepped forward and hugged him. “Well, just for the record, I can't think of a better idiot to be my big brother.”
He held her close, letting the words fill him with pride. “I have my smart moments.”
They held each other for a moment longer, both holding onto that feeling of family that neither of them had known - at least not like this. Then Quinn pulled away, wiping her eyes. “We should get back inside.”
“Yeah, we should.” He replied, following her with a steady arm around her shoulder.
*
I downed the shot in one quick motion, shaking off the burning tingling feeling that engulfed my face after. It felt nice to forget. The tingling was all I could really focus on… Well, the only other thing I could focus on.
Jake had been cool and collected all day. He'd handled the painting, the panic attack, and everything else seemingly with ease. While I made quick work of every drink Ian made, he slowly drank his beer and watched me with amusement. It reminded me of the last time I'd gotten wasted, what little of it I could remember.
Want. No matter how much I drank or how much I kept putting the big shit off, the want never lessened. As I watched Jake with that stoic face of his, all I could think about were those heated moments between us. All I could think about was how badly I wanted to do all of them again. So, with a wide, drunken grin I took hold of his hand and started pulling him through the crowd. “Come on!”
He chuckled but let me drag him to the back hall next to the bathrooms. “You gonna hurl?”
“No,” I giggled, stumbling into his chest. “I wanna kiss you!”
“Yeah? And we had to come over here to do that?”
“I'm not gonna make out with you in front of my dad!” I replied in a giddy, hushed whisper. “Do you wanna kiss or not?”
Jake stepped forward, backing me into the wall, his hands landing on my hips as I stared up at him in awe. “I always wanna kiss you, princess.”
With a satisfied hum, I gripped his shirt and pulled him towards me. “Good.”
In the dimly lit hallway surrounded by noise and bodies somehow in my mind, it was just the two of us. Jake's lips moved in time with my own, our hands grabbing at one another with a furious need to somehow be closer. The slight buzz of the alcohol made my head feel light and erased all of the lingering unknowns from my mind entirely. It was that mix that made me feel bold enough to touch Jake exactly how I wanted to.
I palmed him through his jeans, swallowing every moan until he pulled away from my lips with a groan. He squeezed my hips, closing his eyes and leaning his head back. “Fuck.”
Smiling, I leaned forward and kissed his neck. “You're so pretty.”
“If you were sober I…” He groaned again as my teeth scraped his Adam's apple.
“You'd what?”
Jake looked down at me and shook his head, hands leaving my hips to take hold of my face. “I'd do a lot of things.”
“Sounds fun. Would I like it?”
“Definitely,” he whispered.
I smirked. “How do you know?”
Bumping our noses together Jake shrugged, “I have it on good authority I excel at the art of pleasure.”
“Hmm,” I hummed playfully, “I think you're just overconfident.”
“I'll just have to give you a private demonstration.” He sighed against my lips, amused and frustrated all at once. “When you're sober.”
“When I’m sober,” I repeated, pressing another kiss to his lips. “Raincheck?”
He chuckled. “Raincheck.”
“We can still make out though, right?”
“Absolutely,” he answered, pressing me back into the wall and wasting no time reconnecting our lips.
It wasn't until Patrick rounded the corner and quickly covered his eyes with a disgruntled groan. “God, can a man use the toilet without havin' to see his sister doing… that?”
With haste, Jake and I fixed our clothes and bashfully leaned against the wall. “Sorry, Pat.”
He walked past us, shaking his head. “I don't wanna see none of that when I walk back out. Get a room or something.”
The rest of the night was filled with laughter and too many shots, but it was good. As we played our shitty drinking games and teased one another I was blissfully content. All thoughts of the restaurant, the painting, Rada, Tony… It was pushed so far into the back of my mind that it was nothing more than a blurry memory.
As Jake walked Quinn and me to my apartment I noticed how relaxed she seemed. Even in my slightly drunk state, I recognized how the tension seemed to have lifted from her shoulders as she walked beside Jake with a smile. She felt safe with him and it made my chest feel warm and fuzzy. When we reached my door, she turned and hugged him and kissed his cheek. “Thank you.”
“Anytime,” he replied, awkwardly patting her head. “I mean it.”
“I know.”
Giving them both a fond look I pressed one last kiss to Jake's lips. “Goodnight, tough guy. Try not to get beat up on your way home.”
He chuckled. “I'll do my best.”
“Tell our cat goodnight from me!”
“Goodnight, Lena,” he hollered as he walked down the sidewalk.
Inside Quinn and I flopped onto my bed, both tossing and turning, fighting over the blanket to try and get comfortable. “Hey,” I whispered as we both finally settled. “What happened tonight?”
She snuggled into the pillow and shook her head. “Don’t worry about it, Lee.”
“Quinn-”
“Seriously,” she replied quickly, a smile tugging at her lips. “My big brother took care of it.”
Even in my inebriated state, I didn’t need to ask who she was talking about. The answer was clear. I smiled and closed my eyes. “Jake’s good at that.”
“Yeah, he is.”
*
Jake stood in front of the bar, watching the workers closely as they situated the lights. Mr. Hiragana and I walked through the space of the new restaurant, now finally cleared of garbage and wreckage. It looked bigger than it had, but that might've just been how the fixed walls and proper lighting made it feel. “So,” the man beside me began, “I assume you and your colleagues have discussed the design of the space?”
“We have,” I answered, again glancing at Jake. “Scott doesn't care either way, so long as the kitchen is big enough with new appliances. Jake wanted full control of the bar.” With a smile, I handed him the simple sketches I’d done. “And you know me, I'm the one with the vision.”
“Of course,” he agreed, eyes carefully looking over the pages with a smile. “Your visions never cease to amaze me, little fish.”
Nudging him with my elbow I smiled. “So, you think it's doable?”
“It is fairly simple.” Handing the papers to the lead on the project they exchanged a few words before he patted my hand and looked around the room. “This will be the pride of the city when all is said and done.”
“That's ambitious,” I said with a laugh. “The big apples got a lot of gems.”
Nodding Mr. Hiragana said again, “And this will be one of them.”
With a tilt of my head and a soft smile, I squeezed his hand. “Were you always this optimistic?”
“Only after I met you,” he replied, squeezing my hand back.
“Was I ever this optimistic?” A sad feeling took root in my chest as I looked around at the clean slate. “It feels like so long ago that I had something like this… A dream.”
Mr. Hiragana nodded, his thoughtful eyes never leaving my face as he answered, “You have been through much these years we have been apart. You have changed… Grown not only in body but in mind. The little fish I met at that hotel so many years ago is not the same one that stands before me now. You have known sorrow, fear, loss.” With a proud gleam in his eyes, he nodded more assuredly. “And in spite of it all, you have survived. It is normal to lose one's optimism after such a trying journey. But, one day you will find it again.”
“You've grown wiser in our time apart,” I deduced.
With a deep laugh, he shook his head. “In some ways, I suppose. All that live to be my age have some wisdom to depart onto younger ears.” With a glance at Jake, he smirked. “Though, some of that wisdom is repeated words said by a much wiser voice than mine.”
“How do you mean?”
“Slowly, then all at once.” His words made everything still as Rada's bright smile and tender kiss on my head warmed me. Mr. Hiragana smiled again. “This is what she always said when encouraging you to follow your heart, yes?”
My eyes drifted towards the bar where Jake paced behind the wooden bartop. His eyes darted back and forth, memorizing the space he'd claimed as his and visualizing whatever it was his mind had thought up for it. For a split second, it was like I too could see that bright image he had in his head. A bar with soft lights and glittering bottles, pictures of everyone that mattered littering the wall behind it. A place that felt lavish and expensive without being so snooty and uptight. A place to feel at home.
Then that all vanished as his head turned and those blue eyes pierced mine. The vision faded from his mind, replaced by another… Less focused one. That wicked gleam shined like the sun over water as his tongue darted out to wet his lips and his eyes lazily moved down the length of me. Sinful. That was the only word I knew that properly described him as I broke eye contact with him and cleared my throat.
“Thank you.” I looked back up at him, ignoring the knowing look he gave me in return, and bowed my head. “For helping me find my way.”
He bowed his head in return. “You have always known your way, Little Fish. I have simply reminded you of it.”
I glanced at the time and bowed again. “We should be going.”
“I look forward to our next meeting.” He squeezed my hand one last time. “They would be proud of you.”
After leaving the crew behind to work on the building Jake and I headed to work. We made small talk about the progress of the restaurant, a subject Jake was still clearly uncomfortable with. “Mr. Hiragana says we'll probably be able to open before next years up.”
Jake stiffly nodded, eyes still staring straight ahead. “Oh yeah?”
“Yeah,” I answered, watching him carefully. “So, how are you feeling about the whole thing?”
“Fine.”
I reached out and stopped him mid-step, my hand carefully laying on his arm and encouraging him to look at me. “Jake.”
He shook his head and sighed, “I feel fine. Excited… But… It's… It's just a lot and it's complicated.”
“Anything I can do to help?” I asked with a tender tilt of my head.
“No, I don't think so.”
I shrugged. “Well, I give you full permission to be an asshole about restaurant shit while you figure it out. That help?”
Jake chuckled, visibly pleased with the idea of an asshole pass. “Maybe a little.”
“Good,” I beamed back as the heavy cloud of tension dissipated and the rest of our walk felt normal again. It wasn't until we entered 22West that the weight of everything came crashing down over me all over again.
A new painting hung on the wall, not one nearly as painful to look at, but another all the same. The light blues of the waves gradually faded into black as the painting shifted focus from the boat - my mother's boat - to the nothingness that lurked beneath the water. My heart dropped into my stomach, twisting and tightening until it was nothing more than a ball of iron filling my stomach with dread.
*
The clinking of silverware felt louder that family meal than any other, at least it did to Jake. He sat next to Lena, whose eyes hadn't left the painting since they'd arrived. It was a simple image of a boat and the ocean depths, but he knew what it really meant to her… Some of it anyway. As his eyes passed between the painting and Lena's emotionless face, Jake wanted nothing more than to ask the question that hung on the tip of his tongue.
Why does this make you feel so afraid?
His best and only guess was that it had something to do with Anthony… Something to do with the three years that Lena tried her damnedest to never focus on. But, in that curious, protective way of his, Jake wanted to know more. He wanted to understand the situation fully so he could at least make an attempt to lessen the impact of it.
They had been the only two that hadn't already gotten dressed in those hideous shirts, having been late to oversee things at the new restaurant space, and as they changed in the quiet of an empty locker room Jake felt relieved no one else was here. The apprehensive, almost avoidant air around Lena never once lifted as he turned to look at her. “You okay?”
She didn't even glance at him when she answered, “It's just… A lot…”
He found it ironic that her words – her feelings mirrored his so perfectly. Any other time it would have made him chuckle, but right now all he wanted was to make her feel better. The panic in her voice as she screamed at him to get out the other day had made him feel physically sick. Seeing her using pain to somehow try to ignore the memories made him feel even worse. Jake wanted - needed - to help her.
“So take it out on me,” Jake suggested, her words from their walk circling around in his head as he closed his locker.
“What?”
“All that shit you're holding onto, take some of it out on me.”
“I'm not gonna do that.”
“Why not?” He asked with a hopeful smirk. “Like me too much?”
“Less and less each minute,” she weakly joked.
“Let's play a game,” he offered. “We go back in time tonight to before we became friends. I'll be my charming self and you can be a bitch.”
“Jake…”
Pushing himself off his locker he chuckled. “Oh come on, princess. Have some fun. Play a game with me.”
Shaking her head Lena finally nodded. “Alright, fine, I'll play.”
Jake smirked down at her. “See ya downstairs, Lana.”
“See ya, jerk.”
Tonight was gonna be fun.
*
“Behind,” Jake deadpanned for the third time tonight, the mischievous glow in his eyes the only thing giving away his true emotions. “Watch where you're standing, Lana.”
He’d been purposefully waiting until I’d stepped up behind him to turn directly into me and pretend to be annoyed. Part of his “game”. I'd been skeptical of his plan and it’d taken me a minute to adjust to the amped-up brand of his usual asshole behaviors, but once I did I actually found the whole thing… Fun… “Watch where you're walking, jerk.”
Jake slid out of the kitchen with nothing more than a smile. Everyone around us looked confused, but shocking none of them said a word. Isaac and Scott gave me the occasional questioning look, likely expecting me to explain it later. I didn't care about any of that though. I didn't care about the new painting or the past it dug up. I didn't care about Tony's obvious involvement. All I cared about was thinking up a new snarky comment to hit Jake with the next time I saw him.
I continued to switch between line and dish before moving to help restock the bar. Jake saw me the second I left the kitchen with the two bottles in my hand and slid to stand in the middle of the bar space, shaking his cocktail. “Sorry, I need the room.”
“Idiot,” I mumbled under my breath, just loud enough for him to hear me as I pressed my chest up against his back to slide past him. “Good thing for you I don't mind getting up close and personal.”
“Lucky me,” he replied, pursing his lips as he watched me bend over to grab the now-empty rack for the glasses.
He slid the drink to the guest who had ordered it and quickly turned, putting his body directly behind mine so I'd run into him when I stood up. I played into his hand and with an exaggerated eye roll I mimicked his words, “Behind.”
“Sorry,” he taunted. “I was just admiring the view.”
“I'm just surprised you have the time to admire anyone else's ass when you're so obviously in love with your own.”
Chuckling he let me pass. “I assure you, an ass like yours puts mine to shame, princess.”
“How flattering,” I deadpanned. “Save some of that charm for the people dumb enough to pay you, pretty boy.”
The night dragged on, but I hardly noticed how long it really was. Once the guests had vacated the dining room everyone drank themselves into a better mood. Nicky left early, leaving Jake and me to close the bar down. Next to me, Jake finished counting his tips with a click of his tongue, “Only four hundred tonight.”
“Well,” I sarcastically remarked, putting a bottle back in place. “Looks like tonight's gonna be a big fat bust. If only there was a way you could salvage your wounded ego.”
“Wanna know what I think?” He asked, ignoring my taunt as he side-eyed me. He poured Heather's drink into a to-go cup with a thoughtful grin.
“Desperately,” I answered in that slightly mocking tone he was known for.
Jake slid the cup to her and watched the group start to leave. “I think I should snag us some food from the kitchen while you grab a bottle from the wine cellar,” he turned and looked me up and down, reminiscent of how he had in the beginning. “Then we meet at my place in a half hour.”
The look in his eyes told me exactly what his words didn't, but I still wanted to hear him say it. With a coy smile and a tiny step too close, I asked in a light, teasing tone, “Like a date?”
“If that's what you wanna call it,” he replied just as teasing, but both of us could pick out the genuine nature in each other's words.
My heart did a flip inside. For the first time since the painting had arrived 22West felt like it should. It felt like just another space, one I didn't feel paranoid or anxious in. Jake was there, standing in front of me, inviting me to spend the night with him… Inviting me to forget about anything and everything else. Mr. Hiragana’s words - Rada’s words - echoed in my mind. “Slowly, then all at once.”
“It’s a date then,” I answered, a sudden hopefulness, or maybe blind courage, refusing to let old fears rob me of this - of anything else with Jake.
That cocky grin of his made me roll my eyes as he kept up the persona of that asshole-ish self we’d be toying around with all through service. “See you there, Princess.”
“Don’t get too cocky, pretty boy, or I’ll stand you up.”
Jake chuckled and shook his head. “No, you won’t.”
God this shouldn’t be so fun. “Won’t I?”
He bent his head down, crowding my space and letting his eyes shamelessly roam down to my cleavage. “You want this too bad to stand me up.”
I replied through the feeling of heat rising up my neck. “You seem confident about that.”
“I am confident,” he answered, tugging his lower lip between his teeth for a moment. “That’s the point of this game, isn’t it? We pretend to be the assholes we were to each other when we first met so we can finally just say what we really mean?”
Though I hadn’t seen the game that way before, it clicked the second Jake had said it. Everything that had happened the past few days… Thanksgiving, the bar, tonight, one thing after another after another after another all getting in the way of what I, we, wanted and dreaded more than anything. The conversation. The admittance. The game had given me - given us both - the courage to just come out with it, to commit once and for all to an action. A date. “You’re right.”
Jake smirked even wider, cocky and dickish as he leaned in closer, tilting his head ever so slightly in that smart-ass kind of way. “Am I?”
“Don’t ruin it.” I carefully pushed against his chest and took a step back. “Now, excuse me. I have an expensive bottle to steal.”
“That’s my girl,” he muttered, just low enough that I couldn’t be totally sure he’d even said it. He watched me turn and walk away, the burning feeling of his eyes on me only making my heart beat faster in my chest.
Down in the chilled wine cellar, I stood, staring at the shelves, as my mind caught up with my body. A date. Holy shit. This is a date. I glanced down at my plain attire and shook my head. “Nope.” Digging my phone out of my pocket I moved forward, scanning the bottles on the shelves as the line rang.
“Hello?” Quinn sang into the phone.
“Where are you?”
“Wow, not even a hi, how’s it going?”
“Quinn, no time!” I replied, hurriedly. “I need an outfit.”
She made a curious noise over the phone. “What for?”
“I…” A stupid gin made my cheeks burn as I answered, “I have a date.”
“Are you two finally calling your one on one time, a date?” Quinn inquired with a light teasing tone. “How bold of you.”
“Shut up, do you have something I can wear or not?”
With a sigh, I could hear her as she started flipping through her rack of clothes. “If you want my professional opinion, showing up in nothing at all would be your best option.”
Rolling my eyes I finally found the bottle I'd been searching for. “Quinn…”
“Fiiinnee, I've got a few options. See you in ten?”
“Sounds good, thank you!”
“Det-”
“Details as payment, I know Q.”
Bottle in hand I hurried up the stairs, saying goodnight to the dish crew as they finished changing and headed out into the chilled air. My steps felt both lighter and heavier as I walked beneath the neon lights and moved around the slow crowds. I tried not to focus on what this meant… On the obvious expectation that both Jake and I had at this point, but that was practically impossible.
We'd already done everything else, a fact everyone was keen on reminding us. We'd kissed and touched and whispered heated words. Jake and I were far past any normal friendship. We had been for a while. Yet, there we were using games to commit to an actual date. There we were coming up with some kind of excuse to meet at his apartment where things were bound to go a very specific way.
Are we even going to get to open this bottle? I wondered, nails picking at the fancy label. Or is he going to just kiss me the second I walk in? The vivid and tantalizing image of him pulling me into his apartment and pressing me into his front door filled my brain. Am I going to be able to not kiss him first? Another valid question.
Quinn's apartment wasn't far from Ozzy's or the club. She lived a few blocks up the way in a modest one-bedroom place she'd busted her ass to afford back in the day. The old, sun-faded brick shifted to peeling wallpaper as I made my way inside and up the creaking staircase to the third floor. The second door down the hallway, the only door not decorated with scuff marks from people's shoes.
Ari was waiting to open the door with a wide smirk. “TIGER!” She purred, pulling me inside the dimly lit warm space and pressing a kiss to my cheek. “I heard you have a daaaaattteeee.”
Quinn's apartment was always in some state of chaos. Shoes were tossed around, blankets hung off of every soft surface and her makeup and hair supplies were scattered around her place like hidden gems. She liked it this way, liked the way it made things feel crowded and lived in. Having grown up with nothing Quinn collected things and held them close like a slutty magpie.
The warm lights from her lamps lit up the living space, where it appeared I'd interrupted a dinner date. Quinn emerged from her bedroom to the left and helped peel Ari off me with a loving look and teasing in her eyes. “It's not a big deal remember?”
“Oh yeah,” Ari giggled. “Just two friends hanging out late into the night.”
“You two are the worst,” I grumbled, setting the bottle down on Quinn's counter. “So, any good choices?”
With an offended look, Quinn waved me into her bedroom. “As if you need to ask.”
Ari looked at the bottle with wide eyes and a huge grin. “Thief!” She gasped. “I love you!”
“Don't open it,” I called out to her. “If there's any left tomorrow I'll bring it up to you guys.”
Quinn's eyes widened and she practically vibrated as she hopped onto her bed among the outfits she'd pulled from her closet. “Is this gonna be an overnight date?”
“Maybe,” I answered, trying not to let my excitement or my terror change my voice.
“Oh my god, are you gonna let him take your V card?”
I nudged her leg, almost sending her off the bed. “My V card's been gone for a while Q.”
She shook her head. “It's been over a year since that cards gotten punched in. It counts.”
“Outfits,” I sighed, changing the subject.
“Well now that I know it's a slumber party,” she rummaged through her pile of clothes and pulled out a little black dress. “This is what you're wearing.”
“I don't get to try anything else on?”
“Nope!”
With a groan, I grabbed the dress from out of her hands and stomped out of her room towards the bathroom. “Why did I even ask for your help?”
“Because I'm the best!” Was her loudly overjoyed reply.
Once I'd closed myself into the small bathroom with old checkered floor tiling and the tiny pink sink I looked at the dress she'd chosen. It wasn't ugly or too gaudy. It was simple, black silk with a modest hem of lace around the top and bottom. The spaghetti straps were thin, but I was just thankful there were straps at all… Or a dress at all for that matter.
I took my time sliding it on, stuffing my bra and other clothes under the sink until I could come back and get them. In Quinn's mirror, I fluffed my hair and fixed my makeup, trying to focus on the excited feeling in my chest instead of the anxious ball in my stomach. This isn't a big deal. It's just Jake.
Just Jake… As if that had ever been true.
Unveiling the dress to Quinn and Ari resulted in the two catcalling me for five minutes. “God damn!”
“It's about time you let those girls out to play again!” Ari laughed, looking at my boobs. “No bra too? Jakey's a lucky boy tonight!”
“I'm leaving my clothes under your sink,” I told Quinn as I gathered my things and grabbed the bottle off the counter. “Thanks for the dress!”
“No problem! Have fun being a slut tonight!”
Flipping her off I left the apartment, trying to calm my nerves with each step forward. It wasn't a big deal. It was just Jake. This was just a date.
*
Jake had spent a solid ten minutes meticulously opening and cleaning each of the oysters he'd grabbed from the kitchen. He'd found a niceish plate to put them on and shooed his cat off the counter. Then he'd started truly freaking out.
Lena was on her way with whatever bottle she'd grabbed. They'd drink, eat, and then the inevitable would happen. They’d share a look. He'd touch her or she'd touch him and from there they'd be unable to stop themselves from checking off their list of rainchecks all in one go.
He turned on a movie, the first movie his hands could find, and he cleaned. It wasn't really an effective way to keep his mind off the possibilities that were at this point all but certainties, but he still did it. Maybe it was, to keep his hands busy or maybe he just felt self-conscious about Lena returning to his space.
By the time she knocked on his door, everything was clean and ready. Everything except for him. Do we continue our game? He asked himself, hand hovering over the doorknob. Would that make things easier or would that just make me seem like an asshole?
Opening the door he came face to face with her fluffy red hair and tempting lips and… Fucking hell. The little black dress she wore hugged her body in all the right places, showing off her lean shoulders and peaked nipples. He hadn't expected her to change. Lena smiled, that nervous smile that made the corners of her lips twitch and held up the bottle. “I hope you like champagne.”
Say something. Anything. And say something he did. “You're late.”
Asshole it is I guess.
Thankfully Lena just rolled her eyes and leaned against his doorframe. “Aw, did I keep you waiting?”
“A little,” he said, clearing his throat as he moved to let her in. “It’s been a damn chore keeping this cat off the oysters.”
As if Jake had bribed him to, Hemingway made a not-so-sneaky break for the plate on the counter. Jake jumped, intercepting him just in time. The cat hissed and angrily swatted Jake's arms as he carried him to the sofa. From his kitchen, Lena laughed. “I'm sorry. If I'd have known you were in a heated standoff with the cat I would have hurried.”
He shrugged his shoulders, casually making his way back to the kitchen. “So, champagne?”
“One of the more expensive bottles of it,” she promised, handing the bottle to him for inspection.
Jake barely looked at it, focusing more on her. She looked nervous, but the good kind. The kind that told him she was comfortable being here on this date with him. That was all he could ask for - all he wanted. He'd only take the night as far as she was comfortable with, but judging by the look in her eyes Jake was confident she wanted things to go the same way he did.
So, he grabbed a pair of his shitty glasses from the cupboard and started to open the bottle. She arched her brow. “Not even gonna look at it?”
“I trust your taste in drinks.”
“Even after I gave you nothing but shitty ones that one night?”
Jake chuckled, popping the cork and nodding at her. “Even after that.” He poured her a glass and slid the plate of oysters between them. “So, how’s Quinn?”
Lena blushed, glancing down at her dress. “Was it that obvious?”
“Mhm,” he replied. “I've seen Quinn dress you up enough times to recognize her work.”
“Well, what do you think?” She asked, taking a step back and raising her arms to give him a full view of her.
What did he think? As if she didn't already know every single thought ran through his head. Jake could have voiced any of the lewd things - god knew he'd done that thousands of times before - but instead he found himself answering more sincerely, “I think you look perfect.”
*
My question had been simple, given how well I knew Jake and how his dirty mind worked. It was simple. Ask an obvious question about the very sultry dress Quinn had given me and received an equally obvious dirty response. Simple. Casual. And not at all what Jake said.
“I think you look perfect.”
Perfect. That wasn't a word I was used to hearing, especially when it came to me. Yet this would mark - at least - the second time Jake had used it. Butterflies filled my stomach, filling me with that fuzzy feeling of warm tingles. If it had been anyone else using that word I would have known exactly how to respond. Bullshit. But, I knew he meant it. The look in his eyes, the hint of a real smile, the way he looked just as surprised as I did.
Jake thought I looked perfect.
“So, how do you like your new TV?” I asked turning my now blushing face away from him to look at the bright screen where Egon and the rest of the Ghostbusters were quietly playing out their scenes. My face burned even hotter as I remembered Halloween… Remembered how good Jake had looked dressed as Egon. Maybe he still has that costume? “Ghostbusters?”
“It's a good movie,” he defended, but the wicked gleam in his eye told me he was thinking the same as me.
Smirking, I shrugged. “Woulda thought you'd turn on Romeo and Juliet.”
With a smirk, Jake nodded, “Also a good movie.”
I used the heated tension humming between us as an opportunity to take the first oyster. The salty taste washed over my tongue as I examined the slightly shiny shell in my hand. “So, what's your plan, pretty boy?”
“Am I supposed to have a plan?” He asked with a chuckle.
“I mean I'd think so, after your very confident invitation at work.”
Jake shrugged, taking a moment to enjoy an oyster. “Honestly, I just wanted to be around you.”
“You couldn't be around me at Ozzy's?”
“Okay… I wanted to be around you alone. That better?”
I hummed, beaming at his admission. “Yep.”
He rolled his eyes, casually pushing the plate out of Hemingway's reach. “Don't sound so smug, princess. You were dying to come be alone with me.”
“Hardly!” I argued - lied.
Jake stepped around the counter, placing his body flush up against my own and giving me that look. “Hardly? So you don't want me to do this?”
His fingers skimmed up my exposed thigh, dragging the lace hem of the dress up. I gulped, my eyes shifting to his lips without a second thought. “I want you to do whatever you wanna do.”
“Oh, come on, princess. You can do better than that.”
Fuck it. “I… want you… To kiss me.”
He lifted his hand, fingers grazing the side of my neck as he carefully tilted my head up even more. Our lips brushed against each other, a sigh of anticipation hot on our mingled breaths, and then… Darkness.
The lights cut out, casting Jake and me in complete darkness. Outside horns honked and the chaos told us both that the block - hell maybe even the city, had just shared our experience. Jake’s hands drifted to my shoulders, holding onto me for a moment as he adjusted to the dark. “Of fucking course.”
I swallowed my disappointment and forced a chuckle out of my dry throat. “Don’t suppose you've got any candles on hand?”
“I think I have a few,” he answered. “Let me get a lighter or something.”
Jake stumbled around in the dark until he reached his jacket, pulling the cigarettes and lighter out. The flame did little to light the room, but after a minute of searching his bare cupboards, he found what little he had in candles. I could see the tension in his shoulders almost as clearly as the sour purse of his lips. “Hopefully it's not the whole city.”
“Yeah.” He answered through clenched teeth as handed me the lighter. “I'm gonna go see if anyone outside knows what's going on.”
“Okay,” I replied, watching him go. “I'll light these I guess.”
I stared into the flame as I held the lighter to the wick of the candle and let out a defeated sigh. It's always something. Betting lesbians, a money-hungry Russian, the past, the future… Maybe it was a sign. Maybe the universe in its infinite wisdom was trying to tell us we weren't good together.
The wax dripped over the edge of the candle as I held the light to it. “Bullshit.”
Fuck the universe, I decided. Fuck the past or the future. Fuck everything that tries to tell me what I want.
I wanted Jake. Physically, romantically, in any and every way that he would have me. I wanted him. And tonight was going to be the night whether the city or the universe liked it or not.
I carefully lit the remaining candles, illuminating his apartment just enough to see the outline of his furniture. As I set the last down on the counter I leaned over to give Hemingway a reassuring pat, all the while trying to hold onto the newfound courage making my stomach twist into knots. “It's alright.”
The cat seemed to release some of his tension, using my distracted state to snag an oyster and take shelter in the bathroom where he decided to hide in Jake's open laundry bin. As I quietly chuckled at the way the tips of his ears poked out of the top, and the ferocious noises he made dining on his stolen meal, the apartment door opened and slammed shut as Jake returned. With a silent curse, he threw his jacket and shoes off to the side. “Well, nobody knows shit, but everyone's expecting the power to be out for the rest of the night at least.”
“Damn,” I remarked, trying not to talk myself out of taking action. “Right when your plan was just starting to work.”
It was a flirtatious little taunt, wholeheartedly meant to shift Jake’s focus from the unexpected interruption and back to the fact that we'd been on the verge of a kiss when the lights went out. Sadly, that didn't happen. Instead, Jake continued to grumble, scouring his shelf for a pack of cigarettes and then his lighter, which I still held. “Damn, where the fuck did it go?”
I watched him search for a minute before holding up the object he sought with a smug smirk. “Looking for this?”
He turned to look at me, face set in a grumpy scowl as he lifted the candle off the coffee table and held the flame to the end of his cigarette, lighting it. “Nope.”
“Suit yourself,” I replied, bothered as I set the lighter down on the counter. “Now what?”
Flopping down on his couch Jake laughed humorlessly. “I don't have any board games we can play if that's what you're hoping for.”
“I’m sure we can think of something more interesting to do than play a board game.” Hint. Hint.
Jake rolled his eyes gesturing to the darkened apartment. “You're welcome to look around for something to do.”
DO ME! I wanted to shout at him. My eyes scanned the shelves, looking for something that could lighten Jake's pissy mood and somehow salvage the night. “Where's your camera?” I asked. “We could take some more pictures.”
“In case you didn't notice, we don't exactly have the best lighting for that,” he snarkily replied.
“So you wanna just sit in the dark and do nothing?”
“I'm doing something,” he answered, lifting up his cigarette.
“Well, maybe I wanna do more than sit and smoke.” Jake ignored my statement, staring at the wall in front of him with a bitter, disappointed look on his face. “Really? You gonna ignore me now?”
He glanced at me and shrugged. “You're more than welcome to find something to do.”
Idiot. After a moment of watching the angry puffs of smoke exhale from his lungs I pushed myself away from the counter and flopped down on the couch beside him with a frustrated sigh. Jake's eyes lowered to watch my boobs bounce with the movement. Of course, that'd be what cheers him up. “You know most people would be more concerned with entertaining their guests.”
It was like a light finally flicked on in his brain and with a suggestive raise of his brows and a not at all subtle smirk, Jake and I were back on the same page. Only now I felt like making him work for it.
"Oh, you want some attention?" He took another long drag of the cigarette, slowly sliding closer to me, closing the space between us. He was right there, just a head tilt away from my lips. He timed his head down, seeking me out, expecting me to make it easy.
“You're insufferable." I leaned back, crossing my arms - pressing my breasts up to really catch his attention. He breathed smoke out across my face with a light laugh and a smirk.
"You like it," he whispered, our noses bumping one another.
"This isn't something friends usually do," I said quietly, smugly. Resuming the game we had earlier, the game meant to make this easier, and now the game that I'd use to torture him.
Jake was more smug as he grinned back at me, his eyes dark with lust and sin that would put even the devil to shame. "Yeah, well, I don't want to be your fucking friend." For a split second that something real flashed in his eyes, a fleeting feeling or thought he didn't dare let himself hold onto for too long.
I sighed, that same wave of reality washing over me, forcing my heart to beat quicker and my mind to race with doubt. Moving my head back a little more I whispered the thought, the fear that had kept us from committing to this all along, "This is a bad idea."
He nodded, not in agreement, but in acknowledgment that this was the very fear he shared. Adam's apple bobbing, Jake's eyes dropped to my lips as he sighed, "One of my worst."
I wasn't prepared for the kiss, or the way his hand wound into my hair to pull me closer. Though, I should have been. Jake tasted like oysters and champagne, smoke and, and want. He pulled me effortlessly into his lap, coaxing my mouth open and tangling his tongue with mine to effectively silence that pesky thought in both our minds. He was addictive and he knew it. Smug bastard, he was.
Of all the times we'd kissed, this one felt the most like our first. Maybe it was because of the way he'd been acting like he had in the beginning, asshole-ish and reserved. Or maybe it was because we both knew this was it. There was no forgotten thing, no drunk Russian or nosey lesbians. It was just us.
This was it.
I pulled back slightly, my hand smoothing over his jaw as we both dropped the act and slowly started to abandon our fear in favor of that intimate thing that hummed between us. Still, I couldn't resist the taunt that slid off my tongue, "So, you don't want to be my friend anymore?"
Jake scoffed, pressing another kiss to my lips. "Stop talking."
"I thought you liked being my friend," I continued to tease, threading my fingers into his hair as his mouth moved down the column of my neck. I had to hold in a moan as his teeth tugged at the skin there.
"I like this better," he breathed out, smirking against my skin. His hands gripped my thighs and pulled me down further, rubbing our hips together in a way that sent pleasure up my spine. This time I couldn't contain the wanton moan. Jake chuckled. "Much better."
With a breathless huff, I pulled his hair until his head tilted back up to me. "Shut up."
“Oh,” he whispered breathlessly, lips pulling up into that cocky smirk of his. “Now you wanna stop talking?”
Before I could answer Jake had shifted, rolling me onto the couch beneath him. The new cushions were slow to yield to the weight of us, stiff but not uncomfortable. Above me, Jake's chain necklace dangled, glinting in the low moonlight as it kissed my lips just like he'd done seconds ago. He smirked down at me for a second before all the attitude and the teasing faded, leaving him just smiling down at me as he lifted a hand to my face.
His fingers traced my lips, gliding along my jaw. The swell of warmth… Of want made my chest constrict almost to the point of pain. Out of all the nights we’d spent together - out of all the things we'd already done - this moment was unlike all of them. I wanted him more than I could even understand and in some way… Through some invisible bond between us, I knew he felt the same.
I lifted my head off the cushion and chased his lips. “I wanna stop talking now.”
Jake's still smokey breath fanned across my face as he chuckled. “Okay, Princess. No more talking.”
Our mouths met again, eager and hungry. It was like the feeling of his velvety lips on me, of his hands stroking and squeezing, erasing every thought in my brain. Everything that wasn't him just suddenly didn't matter. Jake dragged his tongue down my neck, fingers tugging the straps of the dress off my shoulders so his lips and teeth could literally my collarbones with kisses and bite marks.
To my surprise he kept moving down lower and lower until his hands were tucked up my dress, pulling my panties off my legs. Jake bit into the meat of my thigh, dragging me down the couch until my ass was literally in his hands. I lifted my head just in time to catch a glimpse of his dark head of hair vanishing beneath my dress as he dove mouth-first into my pussy.
“Oh my god!” I squeezed in shock as his warm tongue lather over my clit. “Jake!”
His fingers squeezing my thighs and holding them open was the only answer I received as his tongue continued its skilled work. With my head pressed firmly to the cushions, I gripped onto his hair, lifting my hips in time with his tongue movements and chasing the pleasure he so shamelessly offered. “Yes! Oh, Jake, right there!”
His teeth grazed my clit, sending me spasming as I came. That didn't stop him though. Jake's tongue just kept licking and sucking, drinking up every ounce that I had to offer until I was practically vibrating beneath him. I pulled his hair harder, pushing him off me and quickly standing up. Before he could ask what I was doing I tugged at his shirt. “Take this off.”
The wicked grin he answered with glowed in the candlelight. “Not gonna say please?”
Reaching down I tugged on his chain, taunting him with an almost kiss. “Now.”
Humming Jake rose from his knees and lifted the shirt over his head, spreading his arms and lightly flexing. “Happy now?”
I raked my nails over his abdomen, instantly undoing his belt as Jake's hands started sliding my arms through the straps of my dress. “I'll be much happier when we're both naked.”
“That makes two of us,” he agreed with a groan as the dress slid off my body with no resistance. Jake's mouth fell open as he lifted his lands to tease my nipples. “God you're perfect.”
My fingers fumbled, head nearly falling back as the pleasure his touch brought spiked through me. “Jake.”
His body pressed closer to mine, forcing me to step back until the backs of my legs hit his bed. “Are you sur-”
I silenced him with a finger over the lips and a gentle reminder, “No more talking.”
Without any more chances to let my fear win out, I finished with his belt and zipper. Kissing down his chest I slowly sank to my knees, taking his pants and underwear with me until his hard, pulsing cock was dangling in front of me. Jake watched me press a few light kisses to the head of him as he carefully lifted his feet out of his jeans. His breaths stuttered as I licked him base to tip, swirling my tongue around him the way I knew he liked from the first time.
“Fuck,” he breathed, quickly taking hold of my face. “As much as I fucking love that mouth of yours princess… I wanna actually fuck you tonight.”
I grinned, kissing his cock again. “Later then?”
“Absolutely.”
Standing in front of him, I set my hands on his broad shoulders, leaning up to kiss him again. Jake's hands wound into my hair as he turned us, pulling me on top of him as he settled on his back. I shifted my hips and angled his cock perfectly allowing me to finally, slowly begin to sink down on top of him. Jake's eyes fluttered shut, his mouth falling open as a surprised, pleasured sound fell from between his lips. His hands scrambled over my waist, squeezing my flesh. “Fuck.”
The stretch wasn't painful, not after the care Jake had taken, but I found myself shaking. It felt so good. Finally having him inside me, the impressive dick his ego permitted me from ever complimenting, hit all the right spots. It'd been a year since I'd had sex, but already, I found myself questioning if anyone else had ever made me feel like this with nothing more than one tiny thrust.
Once I was fully seated on top of him I found my eyes closing, head tilting back as I enjoyed the simple feeling of him twitching inside me, breathing beneath me, holding me. “Holy shit.”
“You're not wasting any time,” he said, holding onto me like his life depended on it. “Got somewhere to be?”
“You said you wanted to fuck me,” I replied, ignoring his teasing to lift my hips and bending over him. “So fuck me.”
Jake kissed me hard, setting one hand on the small of my back and using it to push me back down onto his dick. My sharp gasp broke our kiss and spurred my body into moving. Every thrust sent pure pleasure radiating through my body. Every noise Jake made was echoed by the ones I made. It was that word he'd kept saying. Perfect.
When my legs started to shake and my body felt heavier to lift in the fervorous up and down movements, Jake sat up. His tongue lathered over a nipple, earning another sharp sound from my throat, as his fingers traced up my spine and gently closed around the back of my neck. I could feel his lips curl up into a smirk as he pulled my nipple between his teeth. “Come on, princess. Don't stop.”
“Fuck,” I whispered, the desperate sound of his voice emptying my brain even more. “I… Oh god…”
“Don't tell me you're tired already,” he taunted, using his hands on my hip and neck to help lift and pull me. “We just got started.”
Grinding my teeth together to hold in the moan I bit back, “I should have guessed you'd be a pillow princess.”
Jake laughed, tilting his head up to kiss me again. “We can switch if you want.”
“Fuck you,” I answered breathlessly, my eyes punching together as the pleasure all began to build up inside me.
“That's what you're doing… Trying to at least.” He withdrew all attempts at helping me, returning his attention to my breasts.
“Jake,” I whined after what felt like hours. God, I'm out of Practice. Jake only hummed in reply to his name. “Please.”
More smug than ever he finally slid his hands to my waist and expertly flipped me onto my back. His sheets felt cold against my hot skin, but I hardly had a moment to focus on that when Jake wasted no time lifting one of my legs onto his shoulder and securing the other around his waist. “Try not to scream my name too loud, the neighbors tend to get mad about that.”
“You-” He thrust into me, the angle and the power behind it making sparks shoot up my stomach into my chest. “Oh fuck!”
“There you go,” he mumbled, fingers curling into the sheets by my head. “Let me hear those pretty noises.”
As he picked up the pace I realized I couldn't have denied his request even if I wanted to. Every noise I made echoed off the brick walls, every wet noise that his thrusts made only filled me with more fire. My fingers dug into his arms and clawed at his back as that coil in my gut wound tighter and tighter. “Jake,” I begged. “Don't stop!”
“Come on, princess,” he urged, pressing his lips to mine in a sloppy kiss. “I wanna feel you.”
“Ah!” I could feel myself tighten around him, drawing out another moan from Jake's lips.
“Fuck!” He cursed under his breath. “That's my girl. Come on… Come for me, Lena.”
That, the fucked out, desperate, adoring uttering of my name was what made the coil in my gut burst. Fingers digging into Jake's hair, pulling his lips down against mine I came around him, shaking as he thrust again and again and again, fucking me through the orgasm and into another as he came with me. His body tensed and shivered as he kissed me through his orgasm, pulling away to let out a shaky breath before he collapsed on top of me.
My chest heaved beneath him as I stretched my fingers and carefully pulled them from his hair. “Holy… Shit…”
Jake carefully rolled off me, throwing the condom away and collapsing next to me. “We should have been doing that this whole time.”
“Definitely,” I agreed, twisting my head to look at him… Afraid of what I'd find in his eyes when I did. Had this been a mistake?
Jake was smiling, genuinely smiling at me. His eyes were light and sparkling as he pulled me into his arms and threw his blanket over us both. His lips kissed my shoulders and my jaw and even though we’d just spent the last hour or more fucking I felt that swell of want again. “You know, we could be in the dark for a while.”
“All night even,” he agreed. “You should definitely stay the night.”
“Absolutely,” I agreed, kissing his lips. “And are you gonna… Entertain me?”
Nodding Jake traced the snake on my spine. “Of course. What kinda man would I be if I left you unsatisfied?”
It was going to be a long night. Long and sweaty and perfect.
*
Dom looked at the now entirely empty shop with a dead stare. His life's work was fucking gone, and it was all his fault. Desperate anger and a bitter, frustrated sorrow filled his lungs with a scream. He threw empty tool carts across the shop floor and kicked the side of the nearest car. Dom exploded, lashing out until he had to stop.
His back slammed into one of the cars, and he bowed low. Defeated. The sound of her light footsteps treading through his mess gave him some tiny hint of hope. He watched her carefully slide into place beside him, looking out at the empty space. "Sorry."
"Stop." He shook his head, glaring at her. "I hate it when you apologize when you did nothin’ wrong."
Sarah giggled, bumping her shoulder into his. "Sorry."
"You're the worst."
She looked around with an exasperated sigh. "They really did a number on the place, huh?"
Nodding, he slapped the side of the car they leaned on. "Fuckers even took the damn hub caps."
"You are gonna take care of this, right, D?" Her emerald eyes sparkled up at him, hopeful and innocent. His baby sister. "I don't wanna lose you like Eddie."
His jaw clenched at the mention of the name. "Yeah, I'll take care of it."
She held out her pinky with tears in her eyes. "You promise?"
Dom wrapped his finger around hers and sighed, engulfing her in a big hug. "Yeah, I promise."
When he opened his eyes, Dom could still feel the warmth of Sarah's embrace. His mind clung to the sweet moments they'd shared until the end - until the pain made him feel like he couldn't breathe. That sensation forced him upright, scrambling to grab hold of the drugs he'd left at his bedside. He wanted to forget. More than anything, he wanted the pain to stop.
Green eyes flashed in his mind. Hers and Lena's. He'd made them both a promise… A stupid fucking pinky swear. His fist tightened around the drugs as he forced himself to throw them across the room. "God dammit!"
"Well, ain't you just pathetic?”
Dom's head twisted to the door where Eddie lounged against the old frame. “The fuck are you doin here?”
Eddie shrugged, a heavy sigh following him as he sat in the cot opposite his. “It's her birthday today… Figured that's the kinda thing that warrants a temporary truce. We're family after all.”
“You're no family of mine,” he ground out.
Dom could see the hurt in Eddie's eyes, but as always he erased it with that goddamn smirk. “Feelings mutual, big brother. But, I ain't here for you. I'm here 'cause it's what she woulda wanted.”
“She doesn't get to want anything,” Dom said. “Not anymore.”
Eddie nodded, tensely. “Well, we both seem to have conflicting opinions about whose fault that is.”
“Get the fuck out!” Dom shouted, throwing himself to his feet to grab onto Eddie's jacket and throw him out the door. “You get the fuck out before I fucking kill you!”
“Oh, we both know how much you'd like that,” Eddie spat back, laughing in Dom's face. “Sibling killer that you are.”
It took four of his bikers to hold him back while Eddie waved off his men and left with a bitter curse in Spanish. After the noise of their car had gone, the bikers let him go and Dom was out the door. He needed some air. He needed some space away from this fucking warehouse… This fucking city.
There, illuminated in the golden rays of the rising sun, Mav sat on his bike, resting her head in her hands with a wide - real smile. Dom shook his head, forcing out the angry breath he'd been holding. “It's shit like this that makes everyone think you're a bitch.”
She just shrugged, that smile never faltering. “That a no to taking a joyride?”
“I could never say no to you.”
“It's one of the few things I like about you,” she teased, sitting up as he neared. The flippant, uncaring attitude fell for a moment as she asked, “You okay?”
Dom shook his head and answered with the truth, “No.”
Sliding back on the bike seat she patted the fine leather. “Come on then, big boy. Let's go for a ride.”
“Course, Mrs…. What is it now? Scott?”
Mav rolled her eyes. “As if I'd take that old fucks last name.”
With a chuckle, he smiled at her. “That's my Mav.”
“I'm not your anything,” she argued half-heartedly.
Dom threw his leg over the seat and settled in with her sweet smell and soft hands around his waist. He revved the engine and Mav's arms squeezed him tighter. “You'll always be my Mav.”
“Just drive the damn bike, Dom.”
“Yes, Ma'am.”
#fic: nightshade#sweetbitter jake#jake sweetbitter#sweetbitter#sweetbitter jake x oc#jake x lena#sweetbitter fanfiction#sweetbitter fic#sweetbitter tv series#sweetbitter simone#tom sturridge#jake/oc#jake and lena#jake x oc#jake smut#sweetbitter smut#sweetbitter ocs#sweetbitter sasha#sweetbitter ari#sweetbitter heather#sweetbitter nicky#sweetbitter howard
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Omgggg
Sksjsks I went onto my insta and saw that someone liked this… old Jolynes from like, 2015-17 or so that I never got to finish (they’re all on my old laptop… I will rescue my files one day… this was my old cartoony style. I’ve revamped it a LOT. It used to be so much more loose… I kind of wish that it still was because it made the style look more simplistic and free? I’ve always been a huge fan of simple art styles!) I remember making an attempt at drawing every canon Jolyne outfit that I could find (at least the official colored drawings, not the ones from the manga since that would’ve been too much for me. I have the Jojoveller (I bought the Jojoveller back when it first came out from Japan and paid like, almost $200 for it orz….. should’ve waited for the price drop lol. I have every JJBA artbook tbh. But that helped me track down most of the official Jolyne stuff. Not all but a lot of it!) I’d drawn up at least 20 outfits at this point. At least I think so? These were just some of them. Hopefully, I’ll be able to retrieve my drawings again… the faces that I used to draw on my old style used to be so ugly, sorry.
Here’s an example of this same style but revamped to now lol…
(Yuki wip…. The bodies have more standard anatomy but the hands are still blocky like??? The faces are prettier tho…. Has it lost a bit of personality? Maybe… I do like my new style tho… But could I still even call it a cartoony style, especially since it looks more anime than before :/…. Uh, I’m thinking too hard on this :(….)
Another example is this Rengoku… it’s a little diff from the Yuki one despite being the same cartoon like style? (Barely cartoon anymore…) I don’t usually draw the nostril slit for this style but I did so for Yuki since it just looked better… idk if I’m gonna start doing that or not, I’ve literally been driving myself insane over deciding if I want to start drawing nostrils or not… for this Rengoku, it’s definitely more accurate to the style that I was pushing for but hm….. Similar to these Makima’s…. I didn’t draw the nostril…
I like to keep the ears very simple in this style as well and again, look at Makima’s hands. They’re supposed to be blocky like this hehe. The Yuki wip is more of an improvement of this same style but I’ve been so all over the place with it… I feel so bad, omg. The most polished example that I could find immediately of the original cartoon style was of these Shinobu’s… see how round and free everything is!?
Don’t even get my started on the chibi styles…. I have a handful… because I’m indecisive. The Sukuna wips are from a new chibi style that I’ve been thinking about and I rly like it… The Kak/Oc chibi was for a commission that I had sm fun drawing for. I still like the style! I’ve always loved when artists left the pupils white for some reason? I wanted to do that, too! I forgot to color the lineart in the girls skirt lol….
This style with Sanemi and Uzui is rly cute to me as well… I will not be retiring it. I kind of hate the old chibi style with Josuyasu tho. Hideous to me. And overly complicated. I don’t really like chibi styles that have TOO much going on, especially if they’re not as cute since chibi’s are supposed to be cute. I said ugly but beauty in art is subjective sjsjs… if they’re pretty and cute than idc. So I technically have three chibi styles that I like.
Ohh actually, I have two other chibi styles….. fuck, I just don’t have any pics of them that I’ve uploaded, only saved as files. One isn’t really a serious style at all tho, they were for fun (experimental) and the chibi that you can see hanging in the corner of Yuki in the wip above is of another simpler style as well…
#whaaaaaaaa#rambling#my art#sorry I’m always yapping!!!#an artistic Journey haha… I hardly ever talk about my artistic thoughts so…
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Hey here's my GW2 characters that I leveled and then never touched again
It's a real problem I just want to make creatures but then I have to level them to unlock specs and then I have to make them look pretty and then I probably delete them because I don't actually vibe with them anyway here are the ones that survived (so far)
It's all very rambly I've never written any lore down and I don't know how to structure things.
Meemie Grimsnarl
I forgot Pokémon existed fuck you I like the name it fits. She's named after a spicy bobcat on TikTok who I love and I love her so much Meemie my beloved. Grim-Warband, she snarls when eating.
Ariana Grounde
I love the gays and the gays love me shoutout to my brother Frankie who is gay!
Tealin Briar
I DIDN'T KNOW OK? I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT SCARLET. Anyway
Old main, semi-dropped just because I couldn't really get into her as a character again. I like her, I'm just struggling to make her personality fit with everything going on around her as commander. So she's no longer commander and in the middle of a full rewrite so uh this will be fragmented I don't know how to make the pieces fit anymore.
Grew up as an orphan in Divinity's Reach, has always been a bit "prickly" so the other kids called her Briar (see I had a reason) a name she officially adopted as an adult.
Really wanted to get into the mesmer collective her whole life, she's been motivated to "prove them wrong" despite not really knowing who she's proving wrong. Was accepted into the collective after HoT and quickly discovered it was kind of shit and not her kind of thing at all. But she's a shining blade now?? I haven't figured out the how yet but y'know she's one of those schemers with unresolved anger.
Due to the rework I have no idea how she lost her eye, it was originally during PoF but idk anymore.
She's just a prickly bitch that fought her way up the social ladder only to realize it was boring at the top.
Nora Fischer
The new and improved commander. Norn adopted by a human shipwright-family, grew up comfortably in Divinity's Reach, was the biggest girl in the guard. She's a big believer in both the spirits and the human gods. Have some headcanons about Norns being more bestial so I'm thinking she has a faint snow leopard pattern on her back/arms/legs and scared a lot of drunkards on her night patrols with her night-time laser eyes.
We joked about Nora attending a lot of social gatherings with her parents where they served itty bitty portions of food and how as soon as they got home her parents would release her like a dog and she would bolt down to the basement to feast in the dark. So she's a prim and proper lady but with a silly goofy feral side to her which they've had to adapt to as she grew up.
We also talked about how she attended her first Norn moot with her father and how she would have so much fun while her father was sidelined with a giant fur coat feeling very out of place but also reassured that his daughter would do well in life if she could excel in a chaotic situation like this.
She's also lesbian I don't really give my characters a sexuality but idk playing her she's just lesbian she just is that's just Nora over there crushing on the pretty girls the big femme top looking at the girls.
Idk I have more of a vibe for her I like her a lot she's a goofy gal from a family that loves and supports her. She's a goof because she's not a goof which makes her a goofball I like her a lot she looks like any prettygirl norns but in my head that's what makes her a goof. Again, I don't write down lore I am very much a vibe-based person.
Tiberius Marrowfed
One of the cooks in the Fed-Warband a warband all about supplying the front lines with nurturing slop. He's an alright cook but his specialty is drawing out every bit of flavor from bones. Permanent broth-duty.
Pirietta
@hookhound and I made "leafbians" for HoT. One day we'll do it but for now I'm having fun rolling on the ground with Deadeye. Pale Reaver? idk she's a bubbly girly assassin.
Mjollfrid
Bro I was like 15 now I'm just keeping the name to spite people who are weird about Norns.
Bruh Brofist
It's technically a valid name. I play him when I get knocked on my ass too much and I want to experience the highs and lows of flamethrower stability. He's all about building people up and yelling.
He's also canonically had straight sex with Orelius Hingejaw (because Bruh only has straight sex because he's straight)
Fhlizz
She's a freak a wildling a menace a creature in the truest sense. She has no loyalty to anyone but herself and her "friends" she has liberated from pet owners (they didn't feed them junk so they're better off with her because she let's them eat whatever they want).
She has standing bounties in every major city but because of her destructive impact she and her friends have on whatever annoys her most cities (not black citadel) will simply send out scouts to observe her. She did a lot of accidental interference during Zhaitan's invasion just from being a roaming lethal anomaly.
She stole Tomme's dog. Chaotic Neutral. Uneducated.
Peasant Paul
He is just a normal dude. Does not fight.
Tusplha
Newest girl who knows how long I'll keep her. Tusplha is a schoolyard bully, a mean girl, a real stuck up self-centered brat. She's stolen credit for several projects and knows how to shut people up.
Etta Ashtender
She's in the danger zone. idk she tends ash?? I like the name.
Alice Volkhart
The reason I have decades devotion. I hate her name but also it's a good memory of being excited for the release of GW2, I would read the devlog every week up until release. Simpler times has exactly ZERO lore.
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Sokka in LoK (Oldkka????)
We were all robbed of old Sokka so fuck canon I'm putting him in
Sokka moves like he's still in his prime, always full of energy
but sometimes the knee that he hurt during Sozin's Comet will lock up and he's down for the count
totally carves his own cane. or makes one idk mans made hot air balloons he probably finds some way to make his cane some kind of cannon or sword
absolutely treats Korra like his own kid; won't hesitate to snark or playfully punch her, but will also give her advice when she needs it
he teaches Korra how to fight with weapons or hand to hand, or at least teaches her to fight while thinking outside of the box
White Lotus member Sokka feels so right; he's like a more upbeat version of Piandao mixed with less cryptic Bumi. wicked smart and quick wits with a sharp tongue but goofs off a lot so people assume he's just an old wackjob
Sokka makes it so that there's a permanent nonbender councilperson position and/or a Water Tribe representative
though they've matured, Katara and Sokka still squabble but with more words and the occasional bending of water/snow into Sokka's clothes
loves to remind Zuko of his teenage, angsty self constantly
I firmly believe that Toph told him she was gonna go live in a swamp because Tokka friendship my beloved
fuck it Suki is also very much alive and retired on Kyoshi Island and is an instructor and Sokka will occasionally drop by to talk
Sokka definitely still fights, regardless of what people try to warn him about watching his health, he's still fit, thank you very much
never got over the thrill of travelling and goes wherever his heart takes him, but always visits friends when he's in the area
still loves art and writing, tho he has improved a lot lmao
when they were first building Republic City, he may have gotten a liiitle mad when there were no non-bender statues so he made Non-Bender Row, a street solely dedicated to statues of well-known non-benders and plaques of their achievements
always calls his friends to see how they're doing when phones become a thing
speaking of phones, Sokka loves seeing all these new inventions and definitely would like Varrick; reminds Sokka of a younger him, or so he likes to say
hates Amon with a passion and how he preys on the useless feeling of nonbenders; Amon doesn't get as much attention and followers with Sokka opposing him
when he first meets Korra's group, he thinks Mako is somehow related to Zuko
Mako: it's nice to meet you, Mr. So-
Sokka: are you Zuko's long lost son or something
Mako: ???
loves messing with Bolin and constantly teases him; very proud of him when Bolin learns lavabending
very impressed with Asami; I like to think Asami really looks up to Sokka as a non-bending inventor and when he finds this out: ego boosted, Asami is his new favorite
I have a whole separate wip of young Bumi II and Sokka bonding, but just know these two are very close and love to poke fun at their other family members together
Oh they also have the same connection to spirits so they can bond over that too
When Bumi gets airbending, yeah Sokka’s a little sad, and yeah maybe he cries a little bit, but it’s fine Bumi’s still his favorite
Sokka sees so much of Katara and Kya in Kya II; very supportive when she comes out and will hurt anyone who judges her for it
loves messing with Tenzin; sometimes will call him mini Aang; has a running bet with the rest of the family to see who can get him the most red (currently Meelo is in the lead)
Meelo and Sokka are a disaster together; the sheer chaos they can and will cause is through the roof
thinks of Ikki as a female version of Aang; also like to cause trouble together, but mostly through pranks
likes to poke fun at Jinora about her spiritual connection, but he's really proud of her when she gets her airbender tattoos
Sokka: jfdslkjh go Jinora fksdljg
Kya: Uncle are you crying
Sokka, sniffling: nO-
Give me Sokka interacting with his nieces and nephews he’d be such a good uncle spirits please
definitely thinks Kai is not good enough for his grandniece
very wary of Wu, doesn't like him at first
Sokka: he's an entitled royal brat with no manners
Katara: so were you, but without the royal part
Sokka: *offended noises*
Would absolutely be best friends with Pabu and Naga; jokes that he loves them more than their owners
Sokka would be super into probending and would probably even buy a team; but that's a post for another time
Liked the Black Quarry Boar-q-pines, but when Korra joined the Fire Ferrets, he started rooting for them
he's the first one to notice how close Asami and Korra are
Asami and Korra: *smile at each other*
Sokka: oh??? what's this????
when Mako goes through the awkward phase with Asami and Korra after that whole love triangle shitshow, Sokka tells him about his own love struggles
Asami and Korra: we're together now <33
Sokka: KNEW IT
#HELLO BESTIES IM ALIVE#i completely forgor that tumblr exists and so i am back#with more atla inspo <3#u r welcome <3#honestly i might disappear for another year but yk yolo#sokka#atla sokka#atla#lok#legend of korra#might rewatch lok just to make more old sokka content#I love this man so much#sokka my beloved <3#purposely didnt hc a ship for multiple ships#but zukka also lives in my head rent free so
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aggressively pathetic numbers on these old Chris units
I actually have massively shitty bad luck when it comes to completing Chris, especially the old ones. I had to BUY these from the medal shop every month until I got enough copies to complete them. Same with many of her other units.
Unlike the newer units, these old units could only be Special Awakened through their specified quest.
Requirements are: Lv. 70 + Ascension stage 4
And unlike the new units, these Special Awakening quests unlocks a special story. I guess they were quickly running out of stories to do while pumping out unnecessary units every goddamn month. Stupid management can’t figure out how to just fix the old units so they won’t have to rack their empty brains for new stupid shit to bait players with.
[GIGA ZEPPELIN]
Hibiki is helping to water the garden because the one in charge had to go home early so she volunteered, and Miku is helping too. Chris is telling them to hurry up because they have to go training.
She gets fed up and grabs a hose. Miku warns her that using the hose will kill the plants. Chris was actually planning to aim the hose upwards to create a rainfall shower effect. my girl is so smart :’)
They receive an alert about Alca-Noise nearby so they go there. A rogue alchemist summoned a lot of them.
Chris tells HibiMiku to stay out because this is her job.
[END; Quest battle starts]
Now let’s enjoy her pathetic stat increase :)
It’s pointless to waste mats to unlock her SA skills because this game operates on stupid powerscaling, and this is a Chris unit so it’s extra weak.
[ARTEMIS EIDOLON]
Chris is training to improve the use of the Kimono Gear with KiriShira.
Later, she’s wondering how to get better at using the bow and arrow because she’s having difficulty at it. She meets Miku, who informs her that their school has an archery club, and is willing to introduce her to the club’s director, who is an acquaintance.
At the kyudo club, Chris is still awkward at introducing herself, and when Miku was about to excuse herself, she looks at the flustered Chris and goes “Actually, I’d like to be included in the tour.” Mom of the century. :)
The director teaches Chris the proper kyudo form, and Chris is doing badly at it, shooting like a dumbass. She has to endure it to get better at using the Kimono Gear.
Miku: Why do you fucking suck (I can’t remember what she said cuz I didn’t take a screenshot)
Chris: I’m just trying to follow what I’ve been taught.
Miku: Right... That’s good and all, but Chris should shoot the way Chris does.
Chris: But that form is too crazy. (she’s saying “But that would mess up my form” but idk how to translate this in a way that fits with Miku’s response.)
Miku: It’s cool to be crazy like Chris!
Chris imagines the targets as enemies and shoots them up. Miku cheers for her success. The director says “As long as it’s not in a proper tournament” or something like that. Kyudo is basically the gymnastics of archery.
Her phone rings and they’re called to a mission.
Chris acknowledges Miku’s help saying “Because of you, I realized something important. I’ll just be myself, so I’ll just shoot what’s ahead of me without thinking too hard!”
[END; Quest battle starts]
MikuChris supremacy real...
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I Gouf'd It or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Chrome Marker (Part 2)
oops, posting part 2 kinda got away from me. But here we are, and the MG Gouf 2.0 has been finished to my own level of satisfaction (barring a second topcoat I may or may not do)
I noticed part 1 doesn't really attempt to "review" the kit, only because it's so old and plenty of reviews exist already, but I'll give my opinion all the same. Bit of a copout verdict here, stop me if you've heard this: "it's great if you're into this sort of thing." Nah but really, I do ultimately like it with a few caveats. For one thing, I think the presence of a real inner frame makes it instantly a better kit than the older and arguably more dated Mg Gouf Custom. Even if you prefer the look of the custom, it's hard to argue that specific kit is better built than this one. Build-wise, it felt very familiar to the Zaku ii I've already done, and that's because the inner frames are near-identical. But it's different enough that the build never feels painfully redundant.
Panel Lining/Decals
Panel lining on Zeon suits is a Less Is More type deal for me. With a few exceptions like the Geloog, I think the dumpy, massive surface level armor plates are what sell the Zeon suit designs. It makes sense in the way nonexistent giant robot armor makes sense; these are mass produced and aren't gonna have infinite complexities to them as a result. They're armored in the way this type of thing would be armored, what panel lines do exist sell how such a thing would be maintained and repaired, [third point to distract from the fact I don't know how to scribe goes here].
You'll notice in the finger vulcan more than anywhere else, my workaround for this is in the specific points where armor tapers into an edge. I elected to highlight these in black, using an acrylic paint marker I had lying around. Also noticeable in the shoulders and behind the knee.
I have another technique when it comes to decals, and I call it "using all of them." In most cases, I do exactly this but here I only use about 90% of what's assigned. idk bro, I think it works on Zeon suits like nothing else. I'm even proud of my dry transfer work, of which this kit has a few in places similar to the MG Zaku ii. Corporal ranking badges go on both shoulders, but I opted for only one. I do like me some asymmetry where it's tasteful.
Take note of the decal on the left shoulder, where I fucked up the transfer and there's a section cut short, and see that Gouf is clearly self-conscious about it. Sorry, little man, that one's on me.
You gotta take the good with the bad. And oh hey speaking of bad, this is the type of kit where a lot of joints crapped out on me. The right knee is loose, the left elbow is oddly tight, the left shoulder can't hold the shield at any angle over 45 degrees, the right thumb broke off entirely and, most frustratingly of all, a piece in the head broke off to the point of the head and neck no longer fitting tightly together. Some topcoating alleviated this somewhat but still, at the right angle or with the right unintentional finger push, the head's coming off. At a resting position this isn't an issue, and will not be for most of this guy's life as a model, not an action figure, but it bothers me all the same.
Topcoat Finale
I do the best poses, as you can clearly see.
The chrome joints lost a lot of their luster in the topcoat, which I'm fine with. With a matte finish, I think it looks just lovely. I still may go back and do a second coat, but as it stands I'm very happy with my work. No weathering this time around, I wanted to sell the "New and Improved" factor when posed next to my Zaku, which you'll note I have already gotten to doing.
Looks like that's it for the Gouf. Part of me wants the new Dom kit, but I don't yet know what angle I want to go at that one with. Maybe custom decals? I'll figure it out. Or do a kit from something else, even though my heart belongs to classic Universal Century. And my soul belongs to the monoeye.
ביז מיר טרעפן זיך ווידער ! ! !
#gunpla#mobile suit gundam#universal century#principality of zeon#gouf#modelkit#hobbymodel#gundam#this is no zaku boy#but my friend is zaku boy
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I finished Coromon again and the newer story overall was worth the replay. The more noticable differences show up a bit later on, and there's a LOT more visual improvements than I remember. I dont know if i like the newer story better tho. I also have some huge gripes w the villains, and apparently the main gripe stems from FALSE memories from the original story? I watched some playthrus of the old story to see the differences and theres whole ass scenes that I remember experiencing that just DID NOT happen??? 😭 Like idk if the devs did some smaller story updates between then and what I played or WHAT, but I have a memory of the titans of Velua talking w the Crimsonite titan down in the core of the planet and being like "why are you trying to take over our planet? why didnt u just ask to join us or ask for help?" (i distinctly remember a line from one of the titans saying "WHY didnt you just ASK us?" bc i thought it was so fucking funny) and I thought that they chose to let that new titan stay and the seven of them would work together. Not just killing 6v1 killing the fucker.
In the new story the Crimsonite titan doesnt even seem to EXIST as the Wubbonians exclusively just use the Crimsonite on their own and the only mention of a titan is some human npcs theorizing that there COULD be other titans for new elements. Chalchiu and her brothers are just like "ok girlies, time to wipe clean this world of every ounce of this Crimsonite shit. eradicate with EXTREME prejudice ♥️" and they just rebuild the whole ass world. Like HUH? What abt the Wubbonians? Your character even asks Chalchiu abt them and if they'll be ok w/out being exposed to their element and she's basically like "lmao too bad. not our worlds problem". like YEAH i GUESS thats true, but cmon man 😭 The Wubbonians in the new story dont even mention ANYTHING abt their home planet either. No Wubbonia. No Great Cataclym. Nothing. Its like the story took a hard pivot from "these aliens are looking for a new home and are trying to claim this one bc they and their titan are desperate and not thinking very rationally or ethically abt it" to "yeah these guys r just pure evil now and are here for galactic conquest" or sm and then at the very end and post game u get some hints that MAYBE something else is going on.
Epescially now that the devs changed it from "dark magic" to an actual element called "Crimsonite", it makes even MORE sense to follow the story where the Wubbonians are just a people who are desperately searching for a new home because their home world is either in or rapidly approaching an apocalypse. And how maybe out of the desperation for survival, their titan poured all of its stat points into charisma in order to persuade and brainwash everyone and everything it can.
Also i lowkey kinda liked how the Wubbonians in the og story like... didnt really do anything? I liked how they didnt even try to stop you in Ixqun. You expected a huge fight and they just... stand there. Point and laugh at you. Theyre far too busy staring at Crimsonite rocks and daydreaming abt how they won and that they finally saved their world. Standing there watching their titan do all the work, and subsequently get their ass kicked and STILL do nothing. Like yes kings, go, give us nothing. Just like how your titan gives up and accepts death immediately after being defeated.
#coromon#coromon spoilers#i LIKED them being LOSERS#i LIKED when the wubbonians had weighty reasoning for their actions#they believed they were doing good and it was good by them#and i LIKED that they didnt fight and just stood around#and i LIKED that their titan instantly gave up#it showed a bit of what the wubbonians might be like#also relatable as hell#lose a fight? bitch abt it dramatically
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My ideal world
So... everyone has an ideal world. An ideal this or that. I'll keep mine within the realm of like... reality. I can't just... be female. I'm transgender.
But anyway...
I wish that I could have facial feminization, after my bottom surgery, that I could get my hips widened, have top surgery. And, honestly? I wish I could safely alter my voice permanently so that I could sing with a woman's voice, and not be trapped with this one.
Also um... it's funny but, winning the lottery or gaining prestige or being famous or high status doesn't matter to me. Yes, I want to be beautiful. I do. I know that's vain but... idk. I've wished to be beautiful since I was young. But now that men call me beautiful? Idk. It's hard to accept and believe tbh. I guess the extent of that would be, not perfection but... FFS. And those other things.
Also? God... I hate to admit this because it will never happen lmao but... I wish my ex would read the posts I made about who I really, truly am. What I did. How I've worked to change. How I still desperately love her. And then? (Not even a genie can make this happen) she says, "I'm sorry for everything. I wish I could take it all back." And she starts crying and I'm crying and I beg for forgiveness like a pathetic wretch. "I can't promise I won't fuck up... but I am trying so hard to be better and healthier and safer and more stable. I don't deserve anything from you. I never believed I did... but... god I wish you would give me another chance. We can take it slow, talk about boundaries and needs and wants and everything there is to talk about. We both probably have so much more self-awareness than we did." And she says like... "I don't... I want to say yes. But..." and I'm like "Then say yes! We can go to couple's therapy! We can figure it out! I am willing to make any change... do whatever it takes! I will work on growing every single day. I will support you and love you and cherish you every moment of every day. I will see your dreams come to fruition. I will fight for you. You're a hill I would die on." And she says, "Okay. Okay. Let's do it."
^ Lmao but what's funny is... if she saw that? She'd laugh at how absurd and disgusting it is given how I acted. And she'd be right. No person in their right mind would give me another chance. Even if they HAD been madly in love with me... and the thing is? She never was 😟 I threatened her boyfriend. I threatened her. I said horrible shit to her when I split on her. And she is honestly going to be happier without me in her life. And I know that. I guess that's why I'm in so much pain. Because someone else can give her what I never could.
And then? I write and write and improve until I'm able to publish. I don't need to be a New York Times best seller. But I want to publish. One day, you know? Make enough to live comfortably. Enough to feel accomplished. Proud of myself.
Also? Um... adoption. One day, maybe? With the right person. Idk if my ex was the right person. I just... I wanted to know who she really was. I don't feel like she ever let me know her, ya know? Anyway, I want... a girl. Maybe a girl and a boy. My mom is there to help me make the right choices.
I have a... normal job too. Outside of writing. Like... idk what exactly, but something I don't get depressingly bored about, you know? Or depressed about lol
I think it would be amazing to like... see more of the world with my lover. Take them to Rome and Paris, to Scotland. Make love in quaint hotels every night, passionate and loving, kissing and moaning as we feel each other and become one in that moment.
I don't need much else. I don't want much else. Just... a happy life. If I could share it with her? Even though I know that even wishful thinking of that happening is borderline delusional.
I'll never see her again.
But! This is my ideal world. But life isn't ideal. Life isn't fair or just or... any of that.
She'll never know who I am. And she'll never care. And she will grow old and grow and I'll never be a part of it, though I desperately wish I could see the person she becomes every subsequent day for the rest of our lives.
Instead... I pushed her away because I was jealous. Like a... pathetic piece of shit loser.
No apology I ever give will fix the damage I've done and I know that. But? I will still wish for it. And long to have her in my arms. Instead, she has found love in the arms of someone that deserves her. Maybe they won't be as... obsessed as I am but... I hope they love her right.
Treat her right or I swear to God I will eat your fucking heart.
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Beautiful Spouse’s Rewatch Thoughts SPN 05x05
Fallen Idols
“To be fair, if they did more of the random airplane falling out of the sky episodes, they probably would have been cancelled”
“angel condom”
“24p”
“oh cinematic. Cinematic as fuck, yo”
“butt kiss”
“gotta have that continuous improvement mindset”
“Sam is not so down with the Agile ways”
“I thought he said Bottom not Bonham”
“maybe”
“I don’t know anything about Little Bastard”
“Who was James Dean?”
He was a bisexual actor who died young racing cars
“You mean it’s not a stamped plate on top?”
“I’m not going to hurt you - just going to look up your skirt. No big deal”
“just memorize the bitch. It won’t take that long”
“sweaty tits”
“Consuela HAS to be her name? Jesus Christ. Does she need more lemon pledge?”
“It’s Abraham Lincoln.”
“nice”
“popped him like a fucking something. Idk”
laughed at “Abraham Lincoln killed Mr. Hill”
“Hollywood OS. Dueling laptops”
I think this is the Paris Hilton one. I don’t remember
“Museum collector dude is probably not going to like this”
“Sam’s gotta look at him”
“If I was Lincoln’s ghost, I would have pecked him just to freak Sam out. He’d fall backward trying to get away from you.”
“is this funny because Gandhi is peaceful?”
“Who’s going to come alive for Dean now? Will it be Paris Hilton?”
“Well planned fruit jokes?”
This episode is camp
“That’s hip hop!” Said in Flipz White Fudge voice
Laughing at the girls at the cop shop
“Did he just rip the guys testicles off inside out?”
“what a nice day out there, ya know?”
“I have a hunch so I need to dig out the bowels of these two victims then look up these seeds on the internet. No problem it’s from a 30 year old forest from somewhere in Europe I’ve never been. Then go to wikipedia to see how I can kill whatever.”
“Are we going to chop her tits off now?”
“yeah that was fkn cute. Hey let me be quiet then whistle across the whole damn building”
“been working on this new exhibit called the Paris Hilton abduction house”
“Is that really Paris Hilton?”
“She’s got a helluva nose with the eyebrows”
“What is this? Like 10 minutes of this episode just filmed on this tiny film stage?”
“I’m kinda over how the bro moment takes the whole episode to get to”
“On deck with the devil”
“Tell that to the post that shafted you”
“Maybe he dreamed about getting nailed in a barn. Not quite what he had in mind”
“We watched Paris Hilton get decapitated. Of course it’s camp”
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What what I didn't hear all of the football news?! I expected Bale to retire soon, but Lloris too? And lmao NOT Busquets and Ronaldo together?! Finally said something I agree with Zidane didn't win 3 CL titles with RM in a row to be disrespected by some old dick, bfr 🤡
Hey, I haven't been hurt in a while! Except for burning myself while cooking sometimes... and at times I hit my head on a cupboard 😭 I'm not the quirky and clumsy Y/N who falls down the stairs every second!
I don't see a lot of Harry and Meghan stuff and I'm okay with being blissfully unaware, let's just... stop. I get it, they hate the royals, so do I, but stop milking it unless you're gonna reveal something BIG.
Ofc stans want Lookass back, even though he was so unnecessary, like... didn't anyone else want to join, him of all people??? The fact WayV had a cb without him, but he's gonna show up in SuperM makes no sense to me. SM is deadly quiet, so I can't imagine him showing up suddenly?
I didn't see that many LSF performances and they definitely don't sing live as much as some stans think, but wbk people are delulu. Still, I enjoy their performances a lot! And miss Yunjin's song!!!
Stop that guy from the IG video needs to debut omg
Yeah the talent shows that exploit children 🔪 the parents are the biggest villains though. SM levelled up their promo game, and I'm so glad. The DCM/Atlantis photos were so beautiful as well, I've already noticed the improvement
I'm sorry I had to do it to you 🥰🥰🥰🥰 these boys are killing me. The blackhaired one is a good boy too, a bit of a tsundere at first, but ❤ this love triangle will kill me...
Wait that's the other guy, not Seongjun... what's his name Seungyeon 😭 but yeah the wet shirt happened
Omfg that remix YESSSS I couldn't find it for some reason thanxx!!! That Jopping video, hello?
That San fan call video is so funny idk if he meant it in bad way, probably not but akdhjsjskaknshajahs.
Mr Cedric Diggory deserved better! Nvm Damiano went bald, cancelled 😭😭😭😭 I'm supposed to see Maneskin later this year again, the hair better grow back. Lmao Tom Hiddleston as Loki yeah that too, I just really like Tom Hardy, not necessarily into him rn, but he's an amazing actor. Not Miraculous Ladybug? 🤔
And if I sink my teeth into his arms then what I'm not ready for more Park Seonghwa naaaaaurrrrr
This thread... and judge Hwaaaaa?!
Man really wants it all, cat, bunny, snake, bird... and now a duck? That's Seonghwa now
Maybe the Aussies like snakes...? I mean if it was skinny it can't be that bad 😅 is it weird I'm always more worried about tarantulas and other big ass spiders than snakes? Even though it's easier to escape or capture a spider
Hear me out, bad boy Hwa looking like this 👀
I have some MOTH spoilers, so Tasir has become the Royal Consort 😭🥰 that's my man! However the 2nd baby was born and I have a strange feeling it's Sonnaught's... and that Tasir will leave at some point 🔪 he can come visit me, no problem. I wouldn't get pregnant with some other guys' 🤫 - DV 💖
hi hellooo!!!
What what I didn't hear all of the football news?! I expected Bale to retire soon, but Lloris too? And lmao NOT Busquets and Ronaldo together?! Finally said something I agree with Zidane didn't win 3 CL titles with RM in a row to be disrespected by some old dick, bfr 🤡
YEAH LLORIS’S WAS A SHOCKER,,, busquets ramos and somehow even modric 😭😭 rare mbappe W, but the president resigned so thank fuck,, coming out here disrespecting the man who put your country on the map 🔫 but i have to say french football has the best drama dbdbdb,,, and a kaka lookalike coming to chealsea hopefully the skills come too 🤲🏻 and i HAVE to share this i don’t know how i didn’t see this earlier but the way i threw myself away after reading this A VIOLATION !!!!!! HAS ME SCREAMIFNFNF HE IS A PURE HATER AND I RESPECT THAT SO MUCH and a shakira pique dis track??
Hey, I haven't been hurt in a while! Except for burning myself while cooking sometimes... and at times I hit my head on a cupboard 😭 I'm not the quirky and clumsy Y/N who falls down the stairs every second!
as im writing this i also just sustained an injury by hitting my knuckle on the wood corner <3 this one time an iron fell on my hand <3 THE QUIRKY YN STOP i didn’t say anything 👀🤚🏻ur the yn with long hair till ur waist that need to be tied in a ponytail bc u hate opening it 😩 and has a bad boy waiting outside ur door 😮💨
I don't see a lot of Harry and Meghan stuff and I'm okay with being blissfully unaware, let's just... stop. I get it, they hate the royals, so do I, but stop milking it unless you're gonna reveal something BIG.
ur so lucky for this bc i can’t escape them 😭😭😭 the most odd thing about them is that they call each other H & M 😭😭😭,,,, anon if i had to listen to this, u have to also im not doing this alone
do you think if charles and diana had a daughter, things would be completely different now and that whatever history happened would be changed? 🎤
Ofc stans want Lookass back, even though he was so unnecessary, like... didn't anyone else want to join, him of all people??? The fact WayV had a cb without him, but he's gonna show up in SuperM makes no sense to me. SM is deadly quiet, so I can't imagine him showing up suddenly?
no bc it would’ve made sense if they tested his come back with nct but with superm it’s a no no but i think sm’s trying to cater towards the western audience bc it’s what superm was for & it’s easier to forget everything with the western culture??? 😭😭😭
I didn't see that many LSF performances and they definitely don't sing live as much as some stans think, but wbk people are delulu. Still, I enjoy their performances a lot! And miss Yunjin's song!!! //// Stop that guy from the IG video needs to debut omg
right!! i get so mesmerized when they perform i don’t even care if they sing live or not! the enjoy factor in their performances are so high AND YUNJINS SONG I AM IN LOVE WITH THAT WOMEN SO TERRIBLY, I AM DOWN BAD FOR HER !!!!!!! we need the guy to debut bc he did one with new jeans too 😭😭😭 old jeans need to be their group name and uh baemon 1st member is 15 named haram..
Yeah the talent shows that exploit children 🔪 the parents are the biggest villains though. SM levelled up their promo game, and I'm so glad. The DCM/Atlantis photos were so beautiful as well, I've already noticed the improvement
no seriously!! wanting ur kids to be famous so u can exploit their fame for money is 🔫🔫 THEY DID THE TEASERS ARE STUNNING sm’s artistic excellence is untouchable,, red velvet’s feel my rhythm teasers and the birthday album design???? TOP TIER !!!!!
I'm sorry I had to do it to you 🥰🥰🥰🥰 these boys are killing me. The blackhaired one is a good boy too, a bit of a tsundere at first, but ❤ this love triangle will kill me... ///// Wait that's the other guy, not Seongjun... what's his name Seungyeon 😭 but yeah the wet shirt happened
the way i stuttered, held onto the closest thing to me to stabilize BECAUSE WHAT THE FUCK ANON 😭😭😭😭 the black haired is my favourite and i haven’t even read it,, that is a park seonghwa reincarnation OHHHHHHH but wet shirt 🤚🏻
Omfg that remix YESSSS I couldn't find it for some reason thanxx!!! That Jopping video, hello? //// That San fan call video is so funny idk if he meant it in bad way, probably not but akdhjsjskaknshajahs.
ofc!! THE JOPPING VIDEO !!!! WHAT A MASTERPIECE I AM STILL SO INSANELY SURPRISED BY EVERY TIME I SEE IT, art! whichever way he meant it’s so funny id never show my face to him ever again 😭😭😭
Mr Cedric Diggory deserved better! Nvm Damiano went bald, cancelled 😭😭😭😭 I'm supposed to see Maneskin later this year again, the hair better grow back. Lmao Tom Hiddleston as Loki yeah that too, I just really like Tom Hardy, not necessarily into him rn, but he's an amazing actor. Not Miraculous Ladybug? 🤔
HE DESERVED EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING BETTER but draco deserved even better esp in the last 3 movies 🤚🏻 HES WHAT???? HES IN HIS MILITARY ERA???? WHAT THE FUCK???? he do this for what. why. U BETTER SEND US HD PHOTOS OF HIM !!!!!!! and eurovision in liverpool???? 👀 he is a great actor and the choice of movies he picks is amazing! CHAT NOIR. I WONT SAY ANYTHING.
And if I sink my teeth into his arms then what I'm not ready for more Park Seonghwa naaaaaurrrrr //// This thread... and judge Hwaaaaa?! //// Man really wants it all, cat, bunny, snake, bird... and now a duck? That's Seonghwa now
omg his skin is so smooth 😭😭😭 CLOSE THE GYMS KQ !!!!!! PLEASE KEEP HIM AWAY 😭😭😭 PLS DBWKHDKE SEONGHWA HITS ALL THE ANGLES KCBWKDJCJC we need hwa on a dance mentor show to see his judging,, wait felix 😭😭😭🤚🏻
Maybe the Aussies like snakes...? I mean if it was skinny it can't be that bad 😅 is it weird I'm always more worried about tarantulas and other big ass spiders than snakes? Even though it's easier to escape or capture a spider
AN ORANGE SNAKE AND A BLACK SNAKE ANON FJQKFHWKHD THE WAY IT SLITHERED HAD MY SKIN CRAWLING IT IS NASTY DISGUSTING DISFUCKINGGUSTING TJEHDWK spiders and snakes are equally scary bc one can swallow u whole or poison u the other just exists and crawls..
Hear me out, bad boy Hwa looking like this 👀
I have some MOTH spoilers, so Tasir has become the Royal Consort 😭🥰 that's my man! However the 2nd baby was born and I have a strange feeling it's Sonnaught's... and that Tasir will leave at some point 🔪 he can come visit me, no problem. I wouldn't get pregnant with some other guys' 🤫 - DV 💖
SONNAUGHT BABY???? 😭😭😭🤚🏻 IF ONLY THAT FUCKER WAS NICE ID BE CELEBRATING IN THE STREETS,, TASIR DESERVED BEST DUO !!!!! if sonnaught get’s his shit back together im sorry to say it’s over for tasir
a day to remember 😔
anon…
U SAID BAD BOY HWA WITH SILVER HAIR IS THIS NOT HIM
AND THE SUIT FIT??? 😩😩
and? 🧍🏻♀️
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What is the story of the "straight" guy from fifteen years ago, Nando dearest?
oh, damn. i think i've talked about him before, but... well.
okay, bit of a backstory: i (may) have a condition (which i didnt know at the time but i know now) that makes my bones... weaker. to the point where i've broken or dislocated or otherwise fucked up the same foot/leg 6 times. the second-to-last time it happened, i was 12/13 years old, i was swinging my little cousin around, and then i lost balance and.... well. i'm not sure exactly how it was possible, but i managed to break 3 toes and the ligament of my ankle. had to put the foot in a cast, but the guy who made the cast fucked it up, so i had to take it off early, and my foot was... let's call it "damaged".
for an entire whole ass year, I couldn't touch the ground with my foot. i had to shift my weight to the other side. not a fun experience.
but then i found out that a way it could be helped was through swimming, so my mom put me in swimming classes in the gym nearby. one problem with the swimming instructor was that he was a psycho who thought he was training a bunch of kids to the olympics, but it was still an improvement on the previous trainer, who was a serial groper.
so for the first two weeks i was there, doing the initial training. i've always been a shy kid, so i didn't talk to anyone, i didn't really interact much, i was always kind of in the corner.
and then He came. and because he was new, too, he sat right next to me. and because he was sociable, we sorta became... friends.
and this is the part where things kind of get... muddier, memory-wise. because i remember he being... more than a little friendly at times. like running his hands down my back (he was "admiring my tattoo"), waiting for me outside of the restroom, and looking a bit pissed when someone else walked in, asking stuff like "hey i'm alone at home, you wanna come over and hang out?" (i burned him a dvd with the first few episodes of heroes, and we talked about anime a bit. mostly death note). and there were other bits and pieces that to me, now, seem flirty, but at the same time, am i misremembering it? am i letting my judgement of the past be clouded by what i believed happened, opposite to what actually happened? i don't know. what i know is that i never took up on his offer, and 2 months later i dropped out of the class, because my foot was better, but more importantly, my mother didn't have money to pay for it
after that i didn't see him for a whole year. but then a year later i joined another, different gym, and a few weeks later, guess who was also at that gym? he came to talk to me and was all like "hey idk if you remember me" like i wasn't thinking about him constantly. i downplayed it though.
then the first few times i was there and he was there, he came to talk to me, but again - i'm incredibly shy, and he always had a friend nearby, so i never initiated anything, so one time he called me a stuck up and stopped talking to me altogether :)
i still saw him a few times over the years. when i was going to my english course, my bus would drop me off and i'd have to go down the street where he lived. one time he was coming from the store to his house and i was coming down the street and he kinda... stopped? in front of his house? like, until i passed? but i only saw him when i was almost on top of him, bc i had my head down, looking at my phone lol
the same thing happened a few years later, i was looking down on my phone at the mall, and i stopped, and when i looked up he was standing RIGHT in front of me. i also saw him a few times on the bus i took to work and he took to college. but we never really talked
the last time i saw him was kinda nuts though, because it was such a weird specific series of events for it to happen... like, I was taking ENEM (which is kind of like the SATs, but if you get a good grade, you can get straight into a college), and i went to the testing place. but - for the FIRST time in my life - i forgot my wallet with my documents, so i had to go back to the bus station, call my mom, and ask someone to go there and deliver it to me, and then rush back to the testing place. i arrived originally 20 minutes before the doors opened, and by the time i got there a second time, it was 5 minutes before it closed.
and just as i got there, he was stepping out of the car. now, usually, the testing places are completely random, but this one year they decided to do it by the first letters of the names of the participants, and both our names start with F. still, of all the gin joints in the world...
later that day he made a post on facebook about memories and old feelings and stuff, but i'm sure it had nothing to do with it.
i think that might have been the last time i saw him, actually, come to think of it... i think it's been like, four years. still, every once in a while i think about him - which is, again, pathetic and sad, but... 🤷♂️
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Gonna improve some older OCs I have in this post lol
So if someone who saw me rp in that one ask blog as them sees this, hi lol they're getting changed!
Original
They were called Nerezza and Luna, Nerezza went by Ezza. Ezza was like 7 and Luna 12 I think?
Now bare with me but Luna is a shapeshifter and Ezza was supposed to be but like got stuck/never got the ability. She's bummed out by this and to make up for it desperately wants to learn to do magic tricks..but the thing is she doesn't know they're tricks and tries to ACTUALLY do them. Logics basically "People without powers do this all the time, so I'll be able to be like my sister if I can do this! :D"
So Luna was also abusive to Ezza, but it was going slow and then WHAM its all at once. It started with being so mild it probably wasn't even abusive just mean, and was a little verbal abuse mixed with lying with stuff easy to cover up, specifically to her. This was out of malice, but a childish malice, not a strongly planned or intended thing.
Luna would also do pranks, normally just pretending to be something else like an object or animal and then once Ezzas convinced she'd show herself. Definitely caused some trust issues in Ezza especially considering that Luna could be people too, the kid didn't know who to trust lol!
And you know they're adopted lol. The parents like coordinate their toxicity because I thought it's be funny, like they go through a "Benevolent beings-nice-okay-eh-rude-mean-cruel" kinda thing back and forth.
They don't have anything from their birth parents and don't know who they are, and they don't care to look.
Both are treated equally and have their own lives, Luna isn't lashing out from abuse she's just a dick.
Okay so here's the cringe parts (imo)..
*Something I literally never considered even making options for happened, I'm almost too embarrassed to type this, corrupting Luna. This does the following:
Forces her into this one weird floaty form
However she was before? 10× worse
Physically, verbally, mentally, all the abuses minus sexual to Ezza
Mostly does the abuse in private but just does not care if people see it
Touching people causes a lot of burning pain and a black mark to show up in the shape of her hand wherever she touched. Does not cause damage but does cause permanent marks and sensitivity to the area. Often does this to Ezza when mad or bored
Can float (her hair saw that ability and decided it wanted to as well. Basically her hair floats on its own at all times lol)
And probably more! I forgot!
(The true cringe is the design I made..)
*Nerezza is a stupid fucker. Not even child dumb but genuinely idiotic. If she grew up she'd never keep a job or finish school she's so dumb. Wanna know why? She tried. The fucking chainsaw, cutting people in half trick. Thinking it was real. MULTIPLE TIMES.
*She feels guilty. Still genuinely thinks she can do it one day but decided to quit brutally killing people until she "works up to it". Luna finds the whole thing hilarious and is the one who convinced Ezza not only to try it once, but that she needed to keep doing it until she got it. So it's not all on Ezza but even when deciding that I was laughing at it
Some old art of them (NOT RECENTLY MADE I PROMISE)
Ezza
Luna, corrupted
not a single.fucking.word
Luna, post-corruption
(Honestly proud of this one though!)
So that's pretty much it there..Onto the new ones!
New Versions
So, not toooo many changes...but basically,
Instead of abusive adopted parents, it's gonna be like maybe negligent or people who don't know how to care for kids but didn't want to give up the baby+toddler on their door step or something? Something like that.
And Luna was still mean but not really from malice, definitely no good intentions but she thought more of fun than how it affected her sister. She loves Ezza but doesn't like her if that makes sense? Not in the sibling dislike way either. Doesn't really like nor dislike, still loves, idk how to explain it...
Ezza did NOT become a serial killer for the sake of magic but still tried to learn to compensate. In this version, Ezza thought of cutting people and Luna shot it down! How the turns have tabled.
Instead of 12 Luna's like 14 because 12 is too young but 15 is too old imo. Immature but aware kinda thing I think
Ezza is still like 7 or 8
Luna still gets that same corruption arc but the design..The design HAS to change. I'll reblog after I figure it out and draw it. She isn't being controlled or anything, it mostly changes abilities and wills and desires. Takes normal guy and makes him a semi-powerful melee sadist with no regards or care for others and can't be redeemed in that state, but still has whatever free will OCs can have. Sooo..subtle control I guess? That's like giving someone a gun with bullets, stripping their morals, making them super angry, and putting them in front of someone they don't like, with no outs, so I guess I can't say it's completely them doing it.
Luna gets somehow broken out of it (I haven't even decided how it HAPPENED how would I decide how it UNhappens?) and has a permanent scar. If she takes form of anything with a face, it has the scar. She can't customize it, has to live with it. Why a scar? Because I like giving characters permanent reminders of their sins they weren't all there to commit. She'll try to get along with Ezza after that but Ezza now has trust issues and a phobia of Luna so that'll take work lol.
Anyways that's it so far, I'll reblog later with the redesigns and any extra info I might remember to add!
#not a reblog#oc#oc redesign#cringe ocs#i still love them though lol#luna needed to be brought down and nerezza broufht up though#luna's more of a kid and ezza's less of an idiot basically#old art
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LT2 masterpost
If it was up to me, we would get an autumn or winter EP. Since it’s not up to me at all, here, enjoy this post with everything we know so far of LT2, which is to say, not much at all. Everything here is hypothetical. I’ll be updating every time I see something relevant. A little disclaimer that while this is a masterpost (kinda), it could be read as discourse (duh, it’s also a theory), AND it’s also by me, and you shouldn’t expect me to be serious at this point.
Due to me restraining myself, there’s no reference to any of the times he’s mentioned his guitar skills and him improving but I hope you know I cried every single time.
I’m also linking my old pinned here. It was written before AFHF and around the free merch thing that didn’t lead to much, but I still think I made some good points.
Possible tracks:
Copy of a Copy of a Copy
Change
Faith in the future??
369??
Possible names:
369
Faith in the future
When is the album coming out?
Your guess is as good as mine
Friday 28th of January 2022. Almost two years after Walls. It’s a Friday. It’s a 28th. What else can I say?
Here you can find @want-to-be-loved timelines for every month.
Here you can find @berlinini’s timeline of what Louis has been up to this year (2021).
The rest is under the cut. And here you can find a PDF version where Tumblr can't tell me how many pictures I can add.
2020
He said back on May 2th 2020 he wasn’t writing anything new yet.
(x)(x)(x)
Interestingly enough, he’s said many times after that that the album’s not ready cause he has no new experiences to drawn from. I won’t call him out because he does it himself.
May 4th. He liked a tweet from DMA’s Johnny Took saying they had to go write together again. Louis has been credited as an influence for them and (kind of) participated in their previous record, so I’m assuming he meant for their music and not his, but you never know.
Nothing(literally nothing??? how did we survive) until 11th of July. We all know what happened that day. We all celebrated it. Nonetheless, that’s not what I’m talking about here.
(x) So, by the beginning of July 2020 he was working on concepts and ideas for the new album. That was fifteen months ago. I know perfection takes time but…
Brief summary of important things that happened from then until the next mention of new music:
Louis left Syco!!!! 10 days later he rescheduled the tour for the first time. He followed Matt Vines on Twitter, probably so we could publicly shame him into doing something. Also, the 10thanniversary. He followed more people I wish he hadn’t.
Then more nothing until September. Not even a single tweet. The first merch drop was on the 28th of August but he just RT’ed the tweet. He first mentioned Free my Meal on the 25th of September. Then on October 1st Walls hit #1 on a lot of countries and Louis was incredibly happy and excited about it ^^
And then, that same day, October 1st, 2020, he dropped this bomb:
(x)
He also said it was too soon to be sharing new lyrics with us (x)
And, obviously, this tweet which is actually what made me start this whole post. I would hope you know mate.
(x)
He also told us he was cooking "banger after banger" and that he was incorporating more social themes into his music (x)(x) (I believe any social issue is a political issue but that’s not the point rn).
COPY OF A COPY OF A COPY?!?!
These next paragraphs are brought to you by my mind not remembering things and me not having any links. I’m assuming COACOAC came from those writing sessions that supposedly happened in October. Or in LA but I have no idea if he actually was in LA at any point other than a Daily Mail article putting him there on December which would have been too late, but I do remember that someone said he was in the studio in LA last autumn???? A rumor. Maybe. IDK. Did I mention already all of this is very hypothetical?? Well, this is it. I can’t even remember if this was October or November or what. So, take this with a grain of salt.
I’m also… taking the liberty to assume, if you must, that Copy wasn’t meant to be a Walls reject because it sounds more mature and darker and it has a vastly different tone that Walls songs. I know he’s said that song probably isn’t getting into the album, but I want to have faith (in the future) that I’m getting a studio version. (But also, Louis, if you’re reading this, first of all GET OUT OF MY BLOG second of all, please don’t ever feel pressured again to add a song to the album because we have already heard it before. It’s your art and it should always be under your own terms).
So yeah, I believe that Copy is either one of those four songs (then imagine the other three??!!) or was written around the 1st of October date.
---End of the Intermission---
Then not much important (other than sharing more about Marcus Rashford fight against food poverty and the 2nd merch drop) until he announced the livestream on the 24th of November. (x)
It wasn’t until a few days before the livestream date we even thought again about new music (jk, I know we’re always thinking about new Louis’ music). So, December 9th/10th, 2020. Nine months ago. We got our first taste of new music!
He made sure we knew Copy of a Copy of a Copy isn't a cover! (x) (x)
(x)
Ok, so that’s it for 2020. (I feel like I’m missing something from September 17th because tweet was deleted but maybe he was still talking about cucumbers. We might never know. Unless I understand how Tumblr tags work). Expected, cause Walls was released in 2020. We needed to let it sit for a while.
2021
Another Summary: Louis third tweet of the year was telling the UK government off. So was the fifth. What a good beginning. On the 26th of January, he said he prefers pancakes over waffles. I hope he meant pancakes other than his own. More importantly, he tweeted the infamous “you lot read into things too much”. Don’t get me started, Tomlinson. Don’t. Then the 31st came around and Walls was one. He tweeted this. How wise. And Project Defenceless happened!!
15th of February!! Who cares about Valentine Day when the next day we got this? ♥
(x)
(x)
So…AN EP?? AN EP?? PLEASE RELEASE AN EP.
“I’m sure I will have something out this year but unlikely that will be the album”. Unlikely but not impossible. Also. A single would be good. This is the second time he mentions releasing something in 2021 and he sounds surer about it than the first time around.
He also said that he isn’t sure we will get a studio version of Copy. And that the best bridges from Walls to LT2 are Walls, OTB, KMM and Copy. Can’t wait!
Then we jump to March 6th when he announced he was going to create his own management company. “Sometimes action is needed first to encourage the motivation and belief”. As we can tell he was already manifesting some stuff which will lead us to the numerology stuff/Tesla… kidding. Or not. We might never know.
On the 22nd of March he answered some questions:
He told us music was still his main focus ♥ mwha. (x) I included this tweet to guilt-trip him into giving us music in case he’s reading this even after I told him to leave. ILY.
(x) I’d love to get a visual EP this autumn. Just saying. It sounds like a lovely concept.
(x)
…next (I will get into it, I promise. I’m just mad).
On the 25th he left for Mexico until April 10th. You could assume it was just for the documentary where we got ten seconds of footage or admit the obvious: LT2 its a Mexican baby!!
On the 26th (so, not so far apart from that first 369) we got the first Faith in the Future mention: (x)
Back then we were innocent people who had no idea what was coming upon us. We still have no idea because what the fuck does he mean with these. Please explain. I have one braincell and I don’t use it enough for this. I’m linking some theories.
On the 30th of March he confirmed he was already working on the documentary. So AFHF was already on the works. Will it take this long for us to get the Veeps numbers? We also got this tweet: "Got a decent chorus idea down" (x).
Same person that got the “something out this year” exclusive. If you know something share with the class. Also. Is this Change? I feel like this could be Change but I also assume he wrote Change after hanging out with his friends or being in Doncaster. But who knows.
(x) And the second mention to 369.
(x) 15th of April. The second "Faith in the future".
On the 19th of April he announced that he had something BIG for us later on the year which turned out to be the Away From Home Festival ♥♥ (x) I love him so much.
Then on the 28th he announced the 369 merch drop (which it’s probably the Walls drop? Except that the TOU and KMM ones were “drop 1 and drop 2” and this was drop 369 which, again, makes no sense) but we still don’t know what 369 means.
Into May’ 21 we go.
He rescheduled tour again. And dropped another bomb (x).
He announced he has signed with BMG as an independent artist by RTing this tweet on May 10th. The article also says that he’s already working on writing and recording LT2. The timing… we don’t know. What this deal involves… we don’t know either. Bear with me here because I have a lot to say about this.
I think the deal is only a distribution one, but that BMG are interested in Louis and what he (us) could bring to the table. They were either present at the festival or watching it, but officially they had no involvement at all with it (everything is credited either to Louis own company, 78 Productions, or Charlie Lightening’s company). That’s the case for both giveaways too; the vinyl one and the tickets for the festival.
I think it would be an unbelievably bad move not to test the waters with BMG now or soon-ish. At least a single, to see how it performs. Due to the circumstances, it’s obvious there’re certain limitations on place but I want to see how they push it, whether the radio play exist this time around and if the song is playlisted and promoted and all that… I would also love to know, since it says he signed with BMG UK, but it also states it’s a global deal, how things are going to go on the US and other countries.
Yes, yes. I know those are all questions and no answers. But I know the same as you, sadly. If any of you know more than you’re letting on… again, share with the class.
Where was I? Yes, on the 25th of May Louis had a great day writing (x). Since the first time he had mentioned he was officially writing to this date there’s almost eight months. And I believe he was writing before October’ 20.
He followed Robert Harvey that day and, on the 28th of May (why is it always the 28th???) he was spotted at the studio for the first time.
June was an interesting month for the fandom ♥. Lots of LHL content which I will love and cherish for the rest of times. On June 4th, June 9th, and June 10th he was spotted at the studio, but I believe he was there more days.
(x)
This was posted on June 6th and captioned Studio. Charlie also shared it with “Mega tunes being put down, can’t wait for this @louist91 #louistomlinson #LT2” as the caption. This gives me 2019 (Elton-Joint) vibes. I like it. Feels like we’re getting closer to something.
He added the Milano date on the 9th too which I’m mentioning because I’m going alone. Anyone wanna go with me please? I’m nice and I never eat anything before a concert so you can have my food. On other news. It didn’t come home.
During July he was at the studio at least three days too. Probably more. Feels like more with all the fan pictures we got. Or was that June? Anyway, July 1st and 9th we got some videos from Robert Harvey and wearesuperhi, which is who Louis has been working with the most, that we know of. I don’t know for sure they’re from that day. And on July 5th we got an article and lots of pictures of Louis looking really good outside the studio.
On the 12th of July the first fans started getting the free, 369 bucket hat and print. We still don’t know what the purpose was other than to thanks fans. Maybe that was it. I want answers and I still think it relates to a future project (see theories above), but it could also just be a bridge with the Walls breaking.
He didn’t tweet about anything interesting for a while, mostly because he lost his phone (he either throwed it in the air or smashed it who knows). Then on the 29th of July he announced the festival!
I’m glossing over it because there’s already been a lot of talk about it (rightfully) and while it was a wonderful thing, it doesn’t have much to do with LT2.
Let’s talk Change!
On August 3rd he tweeted this about the setlist.
(x)
And this (x) on the 28th! I can’t stand him.
We didn’t get it, obviously. Because who was going to get that. But we read too much into things. Alright.
On the 16thof August Dave Gibson shared this post tagged #LT2 with the eyes emojis 👀👀👀. I believe this has to do both with Change but also with whatever else came out of that Mexico trip.
(x) Last relevant tweet related to LT2 is this one.
So, on the 30th of August we got Change and we cried, and we know that Change is going in the new album. He said it. With those exact words. He also said he was “getting a feeling for it”. This has to meant he already has a general idea of the vibe of the new album and what’s going in it!!!!!! (Right? RIGHT?).
Anyway, let’s go back a few weeks because some other things happened on August. He was at the studio a few more times. Or it was suggested that he was there. On the 17th and the 18th. (Why was it so time-pressing to be at the studio instead of rehearsing for the festival? There was no studio at all on the documentary. Which makes sense, but again, then why?).
On the day of the festival we got another mention of Faith in The Future that made me feel part of a cult ngl. The words were flashing on the screen for less than a second. Okay.
And then he tweeted those words again after watching the livestream/documentary on the 4th of September (x). This is what makes me suspect it's either the name of the album or of the single.
On the same day, we got some interesting quotes about LT2 on the documentary.
“Soon I’ll have to think about me second album, which in my head I’ll get the tour out of the way and then I’ll address that. So, I hadn’t really given it much thought, to be honest”.
“When every day is the same is hard to feel creative and it’s hard to have any kind of proper inspiration”.
“As season started to come back, I started writing again and it was great and some of these songs turned out alright”.
And I think this is it. I might be overlooking some important details but that’s what we know and what we don’t know.
So. Conclusions. That’s what you missed on Glee. I do believe the album is, if not mostly done, partially there. And yes, this post is pointless and never-ending but it’s all in here if you need to tell Louis “Hey, you said this, mate”.
#LT2#Louis Tomlinson#Faith in The future#369#Louis#LT#new music#idk what this is#but it's long#pinned
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Hickeys and shattered hearts / Maria Hill x Stark!reader / Natasha x Stark!reader
A/N:This one's kinda sad but also kinda cute idk
Warning: Light angst, cursing ofc.
дорогой - Sweetheart
---------------------🕸🕷----------------------
You were new to the Avenfers despite being Tony Starks sister. They didn't know he had a sister because he never told them per your request. And only introduced yourself during the battle of New York showing up in an iron suit.
Although you had already worked for Shield even before Tony did as an agent. You helped him build some of his suits, even made your own
Tony and you were slightly different from each other with you being more on the nicer and sweeter side but still had his wit and sass.
You got along with the rest of them team really well, especially with a certain red headed assassin. Natasha had gotten to like you a lot after a few years of being colleagues, though was a complete wreck at asking you out.
Now you and the Avengers are in Sokovia battling with Ultron and his iron legion alongside new additions. Pietro and Wanda Maximoff.
"So when do you think help is on the way." You blasted through the robots that were lined up. "Any minute now cavalry."
"I didn't say we should leave.." You hear Natasha as you land to the ground. "There's worse ways to go." She finishes, you open your mask to breath a little better. "This isn't exactly how I planned mine to be." You said taking a few deep breaths.
"Where else am I gonna get a view like this." She motioned about the floating country. "Only once in a lifetime." You try to see through the smoke.
"I hope you like the view Romanoff. It's about to get better." Fury says through the coms as the helicarrier emerges up from the clouds and smoke. "Nice right? Pulled her out of mothballs with a couple of old friends. She's dusty but she'll do."
"Fury you son of a bitch." You and Steve say as you looked in awe at the flying ship. "Oh, you two kiss your mother with that mouth?"
"I wouldn't really call her my mother, but yes I do kiss her with my mouth." You grinned as mask closed again ready for the second wave. Nat didn't know you were in a relatiowith someone only till a few weeks ago.
You were searching up on new technology to improve you and you brothers suits. Recently discovering about Nanotechnology, after days of research you've only managed to create a protoype for only the helmet.
You heard the door knock and said out a come in. "Hey, Y/N have you seen Bruce?" Natasha came in as you still had on the mask thst only reached the bottom of your neck.
"No sorry, haven't seen him since like an hour ago. Maybe he's in his room I guess." You shrugged as the mask slowly disappeared like it was dissolving from your face.
"Whoah how'd you do that you fuckin wizard or something." Nat looked at you surprised. "Cool right?" You grinned at her as you put the tech on a mannequin.
"I'll go find him, sorry to bother you." She smiled a little. "Yeah no problem." You focused on the computer. She was nearly out of the room when she noticed a bruise on the side of your neck.
Once you turned around a little it showed more purple and red spots on your neck. "Y/N.." She trailed as you looked up at her. "Yeah?"
"What happened to." She motioned to her neck and you looked at her in confusion. "Huh? Why? Is there something wrong?" You asked still confused.
"Look at the mirror." Her tone laced with a hint of jealously. "I don't what's- Oh!" You cut off your own sentence when you saw you reflection in the mirror. Red and purple marks scattered on your neck.
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry you had to see that!" Shrieking you activated the mask again hide them and your embarrassed face.
You hit your head on palm of your habd a few times chanting to yourself that you were stupid to not notice. "Look, it's ok, I've seen worse. Do you want me to help you with it?" Nat brushed of the feeling in the pit of her stomach.
"No no, I don't want to take away more time from you. I can just cover this up with some make up." The front of the mask opened as you had a sorry smile for her. But Natasha wanted to stay longer, she wanted to stay with you.
"Ok just, just call me if you need anything." She said as you let out a final apology and a thank you. "F.R.I.D.A.Y, please call Agent Hill immediately please." You command the A.I thingking that the ex russian spy was gone.
"What is it Stark? Somethibg happened?" Maria said from the other line. Natasha hid behind a wall to eavesdrop, yes it was wrong, but she just wanted an answer to her question.
"Don't Stark me Hill, you know what exactly happened." You spat before sending a photo to her. "I can't believe you didn't tell me before I left!" You sighed running a hand through your hair.
"I don't get what- Oh, Oh!" Maria stopped midway when she saw the photo you sent. "Well you didn't exactly say anything when we were-" "Don't you dare finish that sentence Hill or I will slap you across the face." You threatened through gritted teeth.
Natasha left not needing and not wanting to hear your conversation. She only asked for Bruce to have an excuse to see you.
Now she's left to go to the gym to blow off some steam and to avoid her heart from shattering entirely.
"I think I know who you're talking about. You two together the whole night at the party right?" Clint said as he smirked at you as you flew past him.
"You're seeing someone and you didn't tell me? I feel betrayed- I am betrayed." Tony sounded genuinely upset over the fact that Clint new and not him.
"We agreed not to tell anyone, and that anyone including you brother." You said matter of factly.
You saw Clint rushing behind a rock with a little boy trying to get to cover from the iron legion who were about to rain bullets on them.
Also noticing a blue and silver trail speeding towards them, you land right infront of Pietro and Clint shielding the three from the bullets, after they were done it was your turn to start beaming at them.
"What you didn't see that coming?" Opening the front of your mask to smirk at Pietro who looked at you like you were crazy.
"After this Fury, I'm gonna take a break. I've seen enough robots for the year. Person I am seeing you owe me a date." You say taking down a few more robots.
"I am going to pretend I didn't see her nod her head and smile. Stark you two have sone explaining to do before any dates will happen." Fury eyed Maria giving the 'Really? You two?' look.
The three of you got on to one of the ships to the helicarrier. "I'm sorry for what's about to happen." You apologetically glance at Pietro about Sokovia.
"Not exactly the way I wanted my chapter to end, but I guess it's something. This is where my family was made, this was also where it was destroyed, and where my twin and I made into well.. Whatever we are." His thick accent following through every word..
After the battle with Ultron, the civilians were given the help that they needed. "Having fun staring at the wall? It's an interesting wall don't get me wrong." You smiled as you walked towards Natasha.
"What'd you call me for? You need help finding Bruce again?" You asl as she shook her head turning to fully look at you.
"Not really, I just wanted to tell you something." Nat looked nervous which surprised you for the very first time. "It's about you."
"Me?" You pointed to yourself. "I- jesus christ this is harder than I thought." Nat let out a heavy sigh as you put a hand on her shoulder. "Hey its ok, take your time." You reassured her.
"I like you." She knew that you knew what it meant and was expecting to take your hand of her shoulder but you didn't. "I'm sorry Nat I really am, you're an amazing person."
"I know you can't, that's why I'm telling you this to let it out of my chest." Sadness was evident in her tone but she had to accept the fact the you can't love her back.
"I'll go beat up Hill if she hurts you." Nat joked as you pushed her shouler lightly. "We still friends?" You mumble as you pulled her to a hug.
She reciprocated by wrapping her arms around you. "Always." She said against your shoulder. "I better not find you downing a bottle of vodka later." You threatened as she just chuckled.
"I'll try not to." She says as you pulled away from the hug to glare at her. "No promises дорогой." She playfully smirked at you.
Natasha swore to herself to be there for you until the end. Not as lovers but as friends. Always and forever
Natasha left with Steve because they were evaluating the new recuits for the Avengers, she asked you if you wanted to come with her but you declined saying you were gonna meet with someone.
"Hey.." Maria said as she leaned against a wall seeing you walk down the halls. "Hi, were you waiting for me?" You ask as you walked closer to the Agent.
"No I wasn't." She simply replied as she looked at you and smiled "Really? Cause you looked like you were waiting for me." You raised a brow at her staring at hers, cold blue eyes thst somehow radiated warmth whenever she looked at you.
"Maybe I was maybe I wasn't." She smirked at you causing you to roll your eyes by her answer. "What were you doing before going here?" She asked as you two walked together.
"Oh I jusst rejected someone." You sighed rethingking what happened earlier. "Was it Natasha?" Maria says non chalanty.
You looked at her with a 'how the fuck.' face. "How the fuck did you know?" Your eyes wide as they can be. "I've known for a while know. At first I was worried about it."
"Oh yeah? Why so?" "Because I love you and you love me, simple as that." She gave a quick peck before walking ahead of your blushing face.
"Atleast kiss me properly Agent." You caught up to her and pulled her down for a proper kiss, instinctively placing her hand on your waist.
You pulled away as Maria was about to deepen in. "Although I'd love to but I only said for a proper kiss." Now it was your turn to give her quick peck before walking ahead of her.
"This so very cringey but also so cute at the same time." Coulson solighed as he saw the whole thing happen.
-----------------------🦅🕴️--------------------
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