#the magnus nightvale daycare au
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A bunch of incorrect quotes just cuz I'm bored and these are funny. I might have went over board and no I'm not sorry.
Jon: I am an expert at identifying birds.
Gerry: Okay, what about those ones flying over there?
Jon: Yeah, they're all birds.
Gerry: What’s up with you?
Jon: What do you mean?
Gerry: You’ve been nice and helpful and considerate all day. What’s your game?
Gerry: *makes Mike a cup of tea but puts salt in it*
Mike: *sips tea*
Gerry:
Mike: *finishes tea*
Gerry: Didn't it taste bad?
Mike: Yeah, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings so I drank it all.
Gerry, tearing up: Oh, okay.
Tim, carrying a box: What would you say if- if I, hypothetically, came home with 7 kittens one day?
Gerry: …
Gerry: What’s in the box?
Tim: What woul-
Gerry: Tim, what’s in the box?
Tim: I think you know.
Jon: What did you two do?
Mike:
Tim:
Jon: You’re not in trouble, I just need to know if I have to lie to the police again or not.
Gerry: Why would I flip my shit about that?
Tim: Because you flip your shit about everything.
Gerry: Well, will you look at this. Here is my shit, and yet it remains unflipped. Just sitting there on the skillet, getting burned on one side. It’s a miracle.
Jon: Mike, we're hungry!
Gerry: Mike! What's for dinner?
Tim: We're hungry, Mike!
Mike, frying a bottle of ketchup over the stove: *screams*
Tim, tearing up the room: Where are they?
Tim, looking under a pillow: Who moved them? Who moved my children?
Tim: Somebody moved my M&M's, and now I am going to start killing.
Jon: If you water water, it grows.
Mike: ...What.
Tim: They've got a point.
Jon: What are you two arguing about this time?
Mike: They’re always using common phrases incorrectly!
Gerry: Cry me a table, Mike.
Jon: *Locks Mike in the car.* Act like a child, get treated like a child.
Mike: What? Isn't it illegal to leave a child locked in a car?
Jon: Onion rings are vegetable donuts.
Mike, used to Jon being dumb: Sure...
Jon: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed.
Mike: Okay?
Jon: Lasagna is spaghetti flavored cake.
Mike:
Jon: Lobsters are mermaid scorpio-
Mike: Jesus, that one is a little-
Gerry, interested: No, no, Jon, keep going.
Tim: Gerry? What are you doing here?
Gerry, wearing a hawaiian shirt, sunglasses and holding a gatorade: My best.
Jon, texting Tim: I’m a theif.
Tim: Thief.
Jon: Theif.
Tim: I before E except after C.
Jon: Thceif.
Tim: NO.
Mike, slamming pots and pans together to the rhythm of "Give it to me, I'm worth it": I didn't get no sleep cause a' y'all! Y'all never gonna sleep cause a' me!
Jon: Sometimes I get so caught up on being gay that I forget I’m actually bi.
*at a zoo*
Daisy: What are they in for?
Not Sasha: Daisy, this isn't prison.
Daisy: So they can leave?
Not Sasha: No, but-
Daisy, pointing at a meerkat: I bet that one murdered someone.
Daisy: When I said you should try being friendlier this isn't what I meant.
Kevin, stirring a cup of tea aggressively: Oh, so now I'm TOO friendly? There's no pleasing you.
Not Sasha, who broke into their house an hour ago: Two sugars please.
Kevin: Coming right up.
Daisy: As you know I keep a list of all my friends in order of how likely they are to betray me.
Mike: Where am I on the list?
Daisy: Well I can’t tell you that because then you’ll quickly move up or down depending on your reaction.
Daisy: When I first met you, I thought you were weird and annoying.
Not Sasha: And?
Daisy: And you are.
Kevin: A banker? Me?
Melanie: Yes, Kevin.
Kevin: But I don’t know anything about running a bank!
Melanie: Good. No preconceived ideas.
Kevin: I’ve robbed banks!
Melanie: Capital! Just reverse your thinking. The money should be on the inside.
Tim: Guys, there’s a monster under my bed and it’s really ugly.
Mike, on the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.
Gerry: Awww, why don't you like cats, Daisy? They're just snuggly buddies! They have toe beans! They make a little blep! What's not to love??
Daisy: I don't know Gerry, I just prefer to be conscious instead of dead on the floor.
Gerry:
Daisy: I'm ALLERGIC.
Tim: Made you all playlists!
Tim: Gerry, yours has only heavy metal, and is dark like your soul.
Tim: Kevin, yours has sad songs and blues to pair with your crippling depression.
Tim: And Melanie has the ABBA Gold album.
Not Sasha, excitedly: Heeyy!!
Daisy: Hey, someone's excited.
Melanie, deadpan: Yeah, and it's making me sick.
Daisy: Who else is hiding in the laundry room trying to listen to Martin and Jon's convo?
Gerry: Me. I'm in the laundry basket.
Tim: I'm in the washing machine.
Mike: I'm in the closet.
Gerry: We accept you Mike. <3
Mike: No I'm literally in the closet.
Gerry: Love is love. <3
Kevin: Who hurt you?
Not Sasha: *snorting* What, do you want a list?
Kevin: ...Yes, actually.
Melanie: This can’t get any worse. Can it?
Tim: Sure it can - just give me a minute.
Helen: Hey, Sasha, where are you going?
Sasha: Well, it depends. When I die, probably hell.
Sasha: But right now I’m going to McDonald’s.
Gerry: Mike said its my turn with the brain cell.
Sasha: Square up.
Kevin: Sometimes I like to place my hands on someone’s cheeks, look into their eyes...
Kevin: ...And violently jerk their head until it snaps.
Basira: ...That took an unexpected turn.
Melanie: So did their neck.
Sasha: If I say yes am I joining a cult?
Jon: Possibly.
Sasha: I’m in.
Martin: I think this might be a bad idea...
Tim: Don't start thinking on me now!
Melanie: Basira, I know you love Helen. I mean, we all do, they’re a very nice person and I respect them immensely.
Melanie: But I think they might be a fucking idiot.
Basira: *cooking*
Melanie: *kicks down door*
Melanie: *grabs knife from Basira's hand*
Melanie: WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR?
Basira:
Basira: What.
Martin: They're trying to tell you they want to cook.
Sasha: Kevin and I were crossing the street, and this man drove by and honked at us.
Michael: What did you do?
Sasha: They chased him to the next red light, and reached into his window, and-
Kevin: *walking in* Who wants a steering wheel?
#daycare au#the magnus nightvale daycare au#chaos#the magnus archives#gerard keay#jonathan sims#michael distortion#not sasha#welcome to nightvale#incorrect quotes#sasha james#mike crew#melanie king#basira hussain#martin blackwood#daisy tonner#kevin wtnv#they're all dumbasses your honor
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I have decided on Gertrude Robinson's relationship with Jon and Gerry. And now this has rotted my brain so expect art soon. For now, I will be giving incorrect quotes of this trio.
Gertrude: Gerard what have I told you about burning books in the daycare?
Gerry: not to do it obviously, otherwise you wouldn't be talking to me about it.
Gertrude: yes well, mind explaining why you're burning books inside the daycare anyways.
Gerry: s p i t e .
Jon, walking into Gertrude's office: Gertrude, I need help finding my notebo-
Gertrude, on the middle of threatening Elias with a stapler: ...Jon, please give me just a moment will you? I'll help you find it once I'm done with Elias.
Elias, with a look of pure fear on his face: Don't leave me with this crazy woman.
Jon, slowly backing away and out of the room: ...I'll just ask Gerry and Mike.
#daycare au#chaos#the magnus nightvale daycare au#the magnus archives#jonathan sims#gerard keay#elias bouchard#gertrude robinson#Gertrude is gonna beat Elias's ass with a stapler and we love her for it
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Here is the Magnus Archives children for my daycare au + Nikola. Feel free to ask them anything!
#magnus archives au#daycare au#martin blackwood#the spiral tma#jonathan sims#the magnus archives#gerard keay#michael distortion#helen distortion#mike crew#tim stoker#sasha james#not sasha#basira hussain#daisy tonner#nikola orsinov#the Magnus NightVale Daycare au
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Ok ok ok I'll draw stuff for this au soon but like I need help- idk which to do so yall have to help me pleaaaase
I know it's alot of options but I got alot of ideas and I need help ;-;
#daycare au#the magnus nightvale daycare au#chaos#gerard keay#the magnus archives#jonathan sims#michael distortion#gertrude robinson#angst#agnes montague#helen distortion#the mechanisms were jon's band theme going on here#gerry jon and gertrude being family#jon and cecil are friends you cant change my mind#polls#i need heeeeelp#cant decide what to draw#tim stoker#tim stoker angst#melanie king#melanie king angst
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When I think of Tim, Not Sasha, and Nikola's dynamic I just think of this:
Tim and Nikola dynamic;
Tim: *standing there*
Nikola: *exists*
Tim: I'ma set this mf on fire.
Not Sasha and Nikola's dynamic;
Nikola: hello dear!
Not Sasha: *sniffs in deeply* I smell your fear.
Nikola: *visibly concerned* ok, I don't like that on!
Tim and Not Sasha with Nikola;
Nikola: *simply existing*
Tim and Not Sasha: Time to torment this bitch in every way possible.
Sasha in the background: go sibling and bestie!
#daycare au#the magnus nightvale daycare au#chaos#the magnus archives#nikola orsinov#not sasha#tim stoker#sasha james#shenanigans#funny stuff#just tim being tim and not sasha being an absolute menace
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Just something I thought of:
Kevin: MELANIE I FUCKED UP.
Melanie: KEVIN WHY IS DAISY'S MOTHER HERE??
Kevin: I ACCIDENTALLY DROPPED A BLOODY KNIFE INFRONT OF HER WHILE I WAS HIDING AND NOW SHES HERE.
Melanie: THIS IS WHY WE CANT LEAVE YOU ALONE.
Melanie: DAISY GET RID OF YOUR MOTHER BEFORE SHE ARRESTS KEVIN
Daisy: ...why do I always get roped into this shit.
Daisy, turning to Mike: you're up
Mike: fuck yeah!
#daycare au#the magnus nightvale daycare au#chaos#the magnus archives#welcome to nightvale#melanie king#mike crew#daisy tonner#kevin wtnv#wtf kevin#daisy tonner's mother has entered the chaos#oh shit kevin you fucked up
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@storm-the-entity I'ma a little late on the reply but here ya go!
#the magnus nightvale daycare au#daycare au#michael distortion#chaos#not sasha#helen distortion#the magnus archives
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Danny and Tim + No Danny and Tim!
Plus a Lil comic
What could Not-Sasha possibly be nervous about?
#daycare au#the magnus nightvale daycare au#not sasha#tim stoker angst#tim stoker#danny stoker#angst#poor tim
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I finally made Kevin and Cecil!
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Here is Michael's past memories!
Drawing bodies are hard to draw-
#daycare au#the magnus nightvale daycare au#the magnus archives#michael distortion#kinda sad#past memories
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Micheal shenanigans with Elias
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Ok ok I know I've been rippin out hearts for the last 3 posts, but I'm making it up by giving you all this funny
Yes I can't draw well, we've established this
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Ok so this happened cuz I was like "Hey, i don't show Not Sasha's eyes because that's like one of the things she can't make appear human. I wonder how weird I can make them." And then that turned unto "Creature Not Sasha" but I still wanted to keep her human ish (for now) so then I came up with this:
And then I said "hey what if they hide his eyes cuz she is self conscious of them? What if Sahsa tried to help Not Sasha with that insecurity?" And then boom, I made this:
(Incase I never specified or people just don't know. Not Sasha is a non gendered individual who I will refer to with any pronoun at any given time. Is it a they? Is she a he? Is he an it? Is they a she? Who knooooows✨️✨️)
#daycare au#the magnus nightvale daycare au#the magnus archives#not sasha#tma sasha#sibling bond#theyre siblings your honor#creatureish not Sasha
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i have crawled put of my hiding hole to present you with more daycare au art. This time it's Gerry and Tim being cute
Now I shall climb back into my hole and continue my drawing and writing. Good bye ✨️
#daycare au#the magnus nightvale daycare au#gerard keay#tim stoker#this can kinda be timgerry if ya want but its purely platonic rn cuz theyre kids#the proportions were terrible to try and draw omfg
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Ok! So the poll says that Michael's past memories won so ima post that once I'm done drawing it!
#the magnus nightvale daycare au#daycare au#the magnus archives#michael distortion#this gonna be angsty just warnin ya
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Ok so I'm about to throw a wrench into y'all's heart and I'm sorryyyy. Here's Gerry's past and how he ended up with his tattoos and with Gertrude. Btw this is part one. Tw blood
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