Now, I am one who never really comments on or writes about anything if it does not have to do with music. For the most part I am basically nonexistent online unless it has something pertaining to music period, with a heavy leaning on heavy metal. Yet tonight, tonight I feel like I have to say something, to get something out of my system that has been bothering me as of late. But first I have to admit something that is hard as well. I am guilty of being a racist.

Throughout my life I have said and thought things that are flat out racist. These things are nowhere near the core beliefs that my family raised me on. My parents always told us that everyone is the same so treat them as you would want to be treated and that is the way I have tried to raise my children. Although there were times that being in a very predominate white city made it hard to not participate in racist actions. In some situations, mostly work, if you were not seen to have the same beliefs or laugh at the same jokes, you were an outsider and vey much made to feel that way. So, to the better of my comfort, I gave in; I have said things and laughed at jokes and some of those thoughts sadly carried over. But not anymore. I am done with this stuff. I am tired of just saying "Oh that's just their generation" or "That's just the way they were raised." No more excuses, now is the time to change.

Through reflextion and talking with my wife and with my children openly and honestly about what is going on in our country and for how long, I finally see some hope. After watching the whole cycle of events happen in Minneapolis from the initial, horrifying video to every night and day of protests, riots and back to protests and even community block parties, on live streams, I see more hope and tangible change happening. Throughout our country and the world, things are starting to finally change. It is happening but it is nowhere near where we need to be in the end. I stand with Black Lives Matters. I do not fully understand everything yet but I will continue to educate myself and grow and hope that anyone reading this will as well. Let us stop being robots of time and actually make this change for the better happen.

I know there are many of you out there reading that get it and really, maybe I am just preaching to the choir. But I do hope that this can get out there. Because there is still a lot of ignorance, that I do see, out there from people within my age range, I am 40, that disgusts and confuses me. There is plenty more ignorance out there that disgusts me but let me talk to the ones I know I can connect with age and reference wise. Growing up to even now, do we not all know the words to most of "Straight Out Of Compton?" I know it was hard, edgy and cool for us white kids in the Midwest to sing along to that album. But did you ever really listen to what a lot of it was about? Was Body Count's "Cop Killer" not a huge thing for us? And we should all remeber the event from that song was influenced by. Right? Did we not all watch Family Matter and The Fresh Prince Of Bell Air? Did you forget the episodes dealing with racial profiling? Or how about the insanely tense cop scene in Boyz N The Hood? How did you feel after that? There is plenty more of these artists, songs, albums, shows and movies that we as a generation consider classic that I could use as an example but I think those should be enough to suffice.

As a white kid growing up in the Midwest I have been guilty of racism but I also understood a lot of what was happening to our African American brothers and sisters through their art. How could you have not? They were laying it all out there for us to see. How could you enjoy to even love any of it if you could not even try to begin to understand it? The message about what they had to deal with in their daily lives was pretty damn clear to me. And from what I am seeing from a lot of you it seems it missed its mark or maybe you just forgot. I hope you can reflect, look within yourself and back in to your life and understand that you do understand a little from the art we love, loved, like or even just enjoy and can always, always learn more and move forward.

Thanks,

Ben Schultz

Black Lives Matter

No Justice No Peace

If you are looking to learn more about Black Lives Matter here is their link. I found it more helpful that I could have imaginied.

https://blacklivesmatter.com/

If you are looking to help or learn more here are a few helpful links that contain even more helpful links.

https://abbiheartstaylor.tumblr.com/post/619477591995367424/how-can-i-help

https://greekgods.tumblr.com/post/619659812311007232/ways-to-help-protestors-if-you-are-unable-to

This post on Facebook has a link of places to donate if you want/can and a link that can help financially if you cannot donate.

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=3693109290716202&id=100000515011726

Cosmos: The Universe and You

This is the first thing poetry wise I’ve actually finished. I started at about the end of 2016. It’s 2018. I think they’re done. I came back to them because I needed to keep busy. In coming back to them I’ve found a reminder of how in tune I am with the universe. Everything is kinda shitty right now. What’s life without your ups and downs though. These poems are about love, life, and outer space. This is for the broken voyagers. Life is beautiful. Whatever you’re going through never forget this. Reconnect. It’s okay to be hurt. It’s okay to be sad. There is beauty in those things too. You’re human. Never forget this. This is the most beautiful thing about you. All the imperfections. Love them. Love always. Unconditionally, infinitely, effortlessly, and endlessly.

Part I: The Expedition 

1. Takeoff

One day you'll French kiss fate, and embrace the fact that it is your destiny to dance amongst the stars. Promise me. Promise me that you won't forget me, as I was, as I am, as I loved, and as I cared for you. You can always come home. You're not a failure for doing so. You can always cry in my arms for as long you need to. I'll embrace you like you never left and a moment never passed when we didn't share the same space. As if there had never been time and distance between us. As if our paths had been one forever. You can leave. But promise me you'll come back. Unfazed and untouched. Promise me that time is a non factor. That distance and experience won't harm our connection. Lie to me and tell me that things won't change. Lie to me because you love me and I love you and that's okay. Because even though I know you're lying to me I'll still love you anyway. And as bad as things may seem or get; We'll always be okay. 

2. Zero-G

Nowhere with you was always better than anywhere at all. I'd follow you into the deep oblivions of a world unknown. The parts of the galaxy that can't be seen with the strongest of telescopes. You had me wrapped around your being; holding everything together as the rings did for Saturn. My Milky Way lover. To infinity and beyond. Then beyond that. Most loves are heavy. Weighing on ones being until they give way or become strong enough to carry it due to the burden of it. Ours was zero-g. Floating on promises and sweet words uttered in the presence of the moon. I'd followed Wendy to Neverland; in hopes that we'd never land and remain forever young sharing a weightless love. 

3. Apollo 11

A long time ago I loved someone that could never be mine and it was the most bittersweet kind of love I'd ever experienced. I had landed my shuttle in the palm of her hands and found myself unable to plant my flag in her heart. I followed her being like the eyes of a child gazing upon a shooting star for the first time in awe and wonder only to find that soon; she'd capture the gaze of another and another after that until she'd eventually found her home somewhere in the vast sky being viewed and admired by someone as special as her. Who was I to stop her from settling? From belonging to another? The heart is the most powerful most precious thing in the world. Who was I to stop her from giving hers to another? Over 6 billion people in the world I retain that she is one of the most important in existence. I retain that without her I'd never know what love is. Even if she never reciprocated the notion. I retain that she is the greatest love of all because she is my first love and that is something you never forget; like the name of the first man who landed on the moon.

 Part II: New Frontiers

4. Old Earth, New Ways

Earth is over 4 billion years old. Imagine having all that time. All that life. Imagine. The countless experiences spanning over a billion years. When I was younger things were different. When we all were young things were different. The effect of all that time? Change. Things change. I remembered how Christmas felt like Christmas until you were too old to believe in Santa; and too old to really receive the fun shit anymore. I remembered the very first I love you and that bittersweet goodbye that was actually more like a "see you later" but we had both knew better. I’ve remembered and forgotten. This is human. I am human. We are human. There are over 6 billion of us inhabiting this space. 6 billion memories. 6 billion separate experiences. All undergoing a constant evolution that will stretch far beyond our life time. A never ending change. Now tell me. Have you ever felt so small?

5. The Voyage

Distance would be an understatement. You and I are now light years away. Can you feel it? The distance plucking at the strings of our hearts like a long practiced viola player in an orchestra. The places you've gone. People you've met. So alien to me. Who is this lover of mine? The girl who was as sweet and pure as sugar cane. We were young. Maybe I was too naive. Hope can only get you so far. I remember the first "I love you" we'd ever shared. How it easily rolled off the tongue like the answer to a question one knew without hesitation. How far we'd come. How far you've gone. A bond is only as strong as the things holding it together. When I could hold you no longer. Would you find solace knowing that my love transcended a physical state? Would that be enough? Float on love. Even though you are different my love for you remains. I am scared. I can only imagine that you are too. Have you forgotten me and replaced my memory with those of a new found lover? You promised you wouldn't. That was some time ago. You may have found home somewhere else in the care of another. Home is still here for you. My arms waiting to embrace you and in that moment whisper the words "I love you"; and our hearts would explode like a star long past its expiration date. Wherever you are. Whoever you are now. I still love you. You can still come back.

6. Lady Venus

Bracing for impact. You hit me hard and I liked it. You are Lady Venus. My lover that shines brighter than them all. How I've waited a lifetime for you. Wrote about you only dreaming of your existence. Wishing upon countless stars. Muttering prayers in the silence of my room to a being I'm not whole heartedly sure existed. Because I needed you. Maybe he heard me because you have all the qualities of a being most certainly celestial. The face of an angel. The grace of a well practiced dancer. How you effortlessly cause my heart to melt into a puddle of joy and bliss. A warmth unfamiliar to I. So pure and genuine. Time. Life's most precious commodity used to create memories. I’d spend an abundance with you. Never quite able to get enough. I thirst for more. Crave it. Every second precious like the jewels hoisted in your crown. You are queen. My queen. My royalty. How prized your presence is. To belong to. To share deeper with another. Well beyond surface. I venture to your center. Your core. To hold close and dear what is mine. Your heart. And in exchange for such gift I leave you mine. We are fated together you and I. Custom. Tailored to the emotions and feelings of one another. Connected on a plain beyond physical. Spiritual. You are the light that is mine and I can’t help but stare and admire my Lady Venus when she shines.

Part III: Homecoming

7. Lost Signal

If I tried to phone home; I don’t think I’d get an answer. I fear that the line has been cut. Disconnect. What is lost can always be found in the eye that looks harder than none. Love does this. True love. Looks closer than any telescope could ever any planet in this galaxy or the next. It admires. Knows of nothing more pure than what appears before it. The eyes, heart, and mind become one. All is absolute. That signal. It is connection. My satellite is tethered to your being. I hover from a distance sending you messages in a language founded by our tongues and our tongues only. A language founded in moments shared and treasured. A language that transcends words. Feeling. How your heart races and breaths become hurried. A signal of the anxiety my touch brings you and vice versa. Reconnect. I hope the messages I’ve sent find their way to you in this time. That you remember all the ways we’ve connected. How I’ve intertwined my soul with yours in all the right places. How we were once one. How we breathed life and so much more into the universe we shared with one another. Reconnect. Please. Reconnect.

8. New Discoveries

Bring me all the broken things you found buried deep beneath my many layers of earth. In this case being. More than flesh. Complex like all the technology we’ve become so addicted to. More than meets the eye. These are the little intricacies explaining myself and how I function. Do you love me? If you do then you’ll take the time to glance over them. To comprehend them. Carefully. Consider each component. One cannot be without the other. Like the heart without blood. Do you understand? Do you really understand? Good. Then look at me. Really look at me. As if I’m the only star in your nights sky. Wrap your love around me like a blanket and keep me warm with your passion. Can I call this home? Can you make it last longer than an eternity? Promise? I find you in all the beautiful most precious things in the world. Infinite discovery. You never lost novelty. Even when the walls of your love collapsed. I still tried to call it home.

9. BlackHole

I’ve forgotten how fragile the human species is. New things. New experiences. In land uncharted. Feelings undiscovered and rediscovered. Alive. Again. More to live for. I remember now more than ever. How much heat you had to exude to melt away my many layers of ice? The insecurities and uncertainties slip away. Gone in your warmth. I feel smaller than ever now. Like a speck of dust. I want to be nothing because I miss feeling like something. BlackHoles are rips in space. Destructive. Break me down. Inside outside. I’m in pieces. After reassembly; will I be the same? I fear that I will find my previous features have changed. Who will I become? What will be made of me? Swallowed by the universe. Chewed till mush. Numb. Drifting around. Everyone can see it. Can read it on my face like billboards highlighted by flamboyant lighting. I’m not the voyager I once was. From everything to nothing. How far I’ve fallen. Wonder replaced by fear. I’m scared now more than ever. Can I escape the darkness before it’s too late?

10. Broken Voyager

Oh broken voyager. Broken boy. Look at you now. In ruin. Knees weak. There is no longer pride to be found in your stance. It has been replaced by a deep melancholy. I am brittle. Fragile. I feel I can crumble at any given moment. There is no longer color in this galaxy of mine that was once brimming with it. It’s left so abruptly. So suddenly. I don’t have any answers. Nothing but feelings. Not all dreadful but mostly. I am a shell. If you knew my past form then you could see the radical difference in the one before you. Head held down. A voice of certainty replaced by the latter. I’m not so sure of anything anymore; much like a child who didn’t study for their exam. I wasn’t prepared and must resort to doing the best I can to salvage the situation. What’s lost isn’t always lost forever. Remember this broken boy. Never lose hope. Faith. In people. In feelings. In life. All outcomes are never the same. To live a cynical life is to not live at all. You’ve come so far. There is no progress in pessimism and too much to look forward to with optimistic eyes. It’s okay to miss. To long. To hurt. To cry. To wait. To want. Live in those things. As you have all things. Grieve broken boy but never lose hope. I won’t. I can never. My favorite songs are still the ones filled with lyrics that remind me of you. Lyrics reminding me of times past and times to come. Reminding me that within all this darkness there is a trickle of light trying to shine through. It’s okay to be broken. Just don’t forget to put yourself back together again. Don’t be afraid to voyage once again. The world is not perfect. Neither is life. This is the place we call home. Earth. Embrace the imperfections. This is love. Never stop loving. Never stop living. Never stop looking at everything with new eyes. Like the first time. There is nothing lost that can’t be found again and to me this is the most beautiful thing about life. Infinite beginnings. Nothing ever ending.

A Love Letter From Your “Inner Pilot Light” on Valentine's Day

Dear gorgeous, holy, radiant YOU,

Let me just start with the obvious. Darling…I adore you. You are the light of my life. Well…let me reframe that. As your Inner Pilot Light, I suppose I am the light of YOURS. But this is no burden for me! It is my raison d'être, my reason for being, my sacred calling-to love you unconditionally, to guide you on your authentic path, to remind you of your true nature, to love and accept and befriend all of the many parts of you, and to help you remember your wholeness, even when you forget.

I know Valentine's Day can be triggering sometimes. If you've lost someone you love, Valentine's Day can remind you of the hole you feel from their absence, and this remembering can blow your heart open with the pain of your loss. If you have a partner, you may feel disappointed in how your partner expresses love, perhaps in a love language different from yours. If you don't have a partner, any number of insecure, self-critical parts can have a field day, attacking you for not being good enough, beautiful enough, smart enough, wise enough, sexy enough, loving enough, [fill in your blank] enough… These parts can exhaust you on what is meant to be a day of remembering to love.

I am here to embrace and accept and love even those self-attacking parts.

Let me speak the truth of how I truly see you in your deepest, most soulful wholeness.

You are the shooting star, the tulip in bloom, the rainbow after the downpour, and the toothless grin of a happy baby at the breast of a mother who is doing the best she can and still kicking herself for not being the perfect mother. You are a pile of puppies, rolling around, licking and nipping and playing, without a care in the world. You are the first bud of the cherry blossoms, emerging in spring to announce that winter's war is ending and summer's play days are on the horizon.

You are a Rumi poem, a Mozart sonata, a Michelangelo painting, and a children's squeaky orchestra concert. You are an old grove redwood forest, the green flash at sunset, a lunar eclipse, and a meteor shower. You are whales spouting, a leopard on the hunt, and a leafy sea dragon floating the depths of the ocean like God's work of art.

Your radiance stuns me, and your shadows enliven me, giving me a chance to see all of you. Your curiosity about the world touches my heart, as I see how sweet your mind is, wanting to know the unknowable mystery, as minds just love to think. Your heart is a masterpiece, full, as it is, with wonder and awe and a waterfall of affection, as well as the scars of a million disappointing, grief-stricken, illusion-shattering heartbreaks. The courage you've shown to keep your heart open takes my breath away. It's so tempting to shut down when your heart has been hurt. It's a natural defense, a completely understandable reaction to a world full of trauma. But even that slight crack you keep open, the crack of hope that yearns to believe that love is still real, touches me to my the core of my sparkle and lets everyone see what burns through that crack (me!).

On this Valentine's Day, I want to say everything you need to hear in order to heal and feel fully loved. You know better than I do exactly what those words are, the words he or she didn't say, the loving actions you didn't receive, the tender caresses that didn't come, the gentle rocking with your body cradled on the lap of the one whose touch you long for.

Let me give you everything you didn't get. Let me love you so fully inside your own heart, saying to you everything your hurt parts need to hear, giving you whatever you didn't get when you deserved to be treated like the precious gift that you are. Let me shower you with kisses, praise your beauty, your talent, your intelligence, your giving heart. Let me hold you and rock you and whisper sweet nothings in your sweet little ears. Let me reassure you that I will never leave you. I never can. I am with you always, here forever in the sanctuary of your own heart.

I am the one you've been waiting for…

With me by your side, others can come-or go. I can love you so fully from inside your own heart that you are full to the brim with all the love the Universe can shower upon you. Any love you get outside yourself is simply icing-lovely to have, a sweet confection to savor, but not necessary in order for you to feel whole. When you are so full to overflowing with Divine love, human love is still a blessing to be cherished, but you'll feel less needy, less dependent on getting your needs met outside your own heart.

I am here for you, Beloved. It is my joy, my whole purpose, just to remind you what a treasure you are, in all your messy, radiant, not enough, too much, imperfect, over-the-top, insecure, effervescent, expanded, contracted, magnificent glory. I am the One who can love all of your parts, demonizing no part, accepting every part. You are adorable, my love. I absolutely cherish every single part of you-your protector parts, your scared parts, your vulnerable exiled parts, your checked out parts, your rebellious teenager acting out parts, your sabotaging parts-I love them all and I hold you in my Great Arms of Love. I am the part of you that is not a part, and you can always count on me.

If you close your eyes right now, I have a Valentine's Day message for you. If you nuzzle right up to me and listen close, you'll hear it.

Mwah…

Your Inner Pilot Light

  PS. If you loved hearing this love letter from your Inner Pilot Light, sign up here for The Daily Flame, daily love letters from your Inner Pilot Light.

PPS. Great news! Sounds True will be publishing Lissa's next book The Daily Flame: 365 Love Letters From Your Inner Pilot Light, to be released Valentine's Day 2019!

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[REVIEW] The Art of Loving & Living// Here at Dawn by Beau Taplin//

I awoke - a bit sleepy, a bit dreamy. Darkness still enveloped everything - inside and out. But I could hear the birds chirping excitedly. I got up from my bed, put the duvet aside, and went to open the window. Ah, the rush of air filled me just as it filled the room. I felt renewed. Sleep went away. I was filled with a certain energy. I had to get out, out of this room, out of this house. Just go outside and marvel at the soft hours before sunrise. Watch the stars rushing back to their heavenly abode. 

Everything felt so remarkably new, and yet nostalgic. I have been here before, I thought, picking up a twig – twisting it about my finger.

The grass felt damp beneath my bare feet. I could feel the droplets compressing under every step I took. There was music all around. In the sky, on the earth, on every branch of every tree. There was still an hour before sunrise and I wanted to soak in every moment of this delicious dawn before light exposed the beauty and the magic disappeared.

I have often walked alone – in the wee hours of morning – and imagined fairies whispering to each other about how the big folk don’t know how full of magic the world really is! I agree with them. I look at the delicate bud, cusp it in my hand with a gentle stroke lest it falls before ever blooming. So beautiful. The leaves dance with the gentle air, as if mocking me, making sure I know that they revel in this magic every day while I, I am just an occasional visitor. I know. *sigh* I know.

This is what Beau Taplin’s Here at Dawn is all about.

Have you ever taken a walk in the garden at 3 am in the morning? Breathing in the magic that hangs densely about you at that time of the day? If you have then you’ll know; you’ll know EXACTLY what he is talking about.

This whole vast world in which we live our tiny, tiny lives – is brimming with miracles. You just have to look for them. Look, there it is – in the chirping of the birds.

And there – in the smile of the little girl dancing in the garden. And wait, WHAT IS THAT? A squirrel. Look at its tiny hands. Isn’t it adorable? Such magnificent detail. Such craftsmanship. And the couple over there? So lost in each other’s eyes they’d hardly notice if a bomb exploded by their side. Must be such a heavenly feeling – not caring about anything else in the world other than the person in front of you. Oh my! Look! A bookshop. Let’s go together and browse for hours and hours, lose ourselves in the countless stories. And never come out. Not so soon anyway.

Surely, surely the ability to enjoy these little things – these seemingly mundane and routine things – must be magic at its supreme?

When you walk down the road – going to the class, grocery shopping, meeting someone, taking a bite – you pass strangers, people of all backgrounds. They don’t know you. You don’t know them. And yet a single kind smile to someone struggling to shush their crying child is a like the wave of a magic wand. If you think you don’t matter to people around you, then think again. You, dear reader, are full of life, of love, or kindness – YOU MATTER.

Listen to me, “Here at Dawn”, we don’t take people seriously. We regard them magically.

You are a miracle. A force of nature – gentle, loving, caring. You give to others JUST BY BEING, don’t you understand that? Taplin is asking you to take a look in the mirror and see – take a hard look at the person smiling back at you. THAT person is nature. Nature IS that person. YOU are nature. So mingle with it. Take pride in it. Lose yourself in it – in this feeling of belonging.

Taplin’s words sent a rush of creativity through me. I felt – serene – the kind of feeling that you experience watching a sunrise. Fresh. Renewed. He made me see that the world is just waiting for me to wave the magic wand of my attention. If I could just look closely, listen attentively, close my eyes and feel keenly – it’d be plain as day to me that this whole vast universe is a reflection of me, of my inner feelings.

Here at Dawn, sitting alone with my thoughts and the poet’s, I realized how true happiness arises from deep within, knowing YOU ARE ENOUGH. I read his words and they resonated with me like a chord longing to be struck. Until you realize that everything springs from your own self, you will remain unhappy, forever. And it’s this beautiful realization that made my heart swell and jump for joy.

Taplin’s poems made me feel complete again, as I am sure they will have the same effect on you – for these are little truths wrapped inside a handful of words. The medium may change but the core message? Never.

Sitting there, with this beautiful book in my hand, I felt a surge of gratitude rise and rise and rise within my whole body and stop – suddenly – in my heart. Why did I feel that way though? It’s just the way Taplin talks about goodbyes – the beauty they contain, the lessons. And their necessity. It’s funny really, how we forget to embrace such an inevitable thing, to cherish those last few memories forever, to make the most of them. Well, no more. Because I cannot help but take his words to heart, lock them within until they make a firm impression on it. Never to forget. Never again.

I have sown flowers deep into the earth of your memory to remind me that, even in the most lightless of places, beautiful things do grow.

The way this whole book vibrates with gentle notes of hope makes for a beautiful experience. Never a page goes by that doesn’t make you feel glad that you are reading it, that fills you with gratitude that you are here – here in this gorgeous world – alive and free and much too childlike – just as you SHOULD BE.

When the clouds of uncertainty and bad actions reflect upon your sunny dreams, Taplin, encourages you to take responsibility where it is required. You cannot run from it. You cannot hide from it. He wants you to understand that it’s YOU – you who is cause of it all and by accepting that responsibility, you create yet another miracle – of freedom. Freedom from ignorance, from failure.

Here at Dawn, you will understand the beauty of a helping hand – given or received. As Taplin says,

We only flourish when we lean on each other. This is how all great things are grown.

This collection of poetry reinstated the need of companionship, of friendship – of the importance of surrounding yourself with genuine people and giving thanks to those who accept you without any judgement. I never knew it was possible to pack such – non romantic – thoughts into lovable poetry and yet, the poet has achieved this. And I am glad that he did because it is a delight to read, to own, to cherish.

Taplin’s poems are also wise with experience. They contain a knowledge that can’t be faked. They want you to understand them, understand the meaning in between – and as you’ll do so, you will find yourself liberated from every thought and feeling that has been weighing you down.

As I said before, reading these left my heart overfilling with gratitude – for the ghosts of the past, for the candles of the present, and for the dreams of the future. It’s been such a lovely, lovely experience reading these – one that I emerged wiser from, kinder to myself and the world around.

So come, dear reader, dance with the poet in the rain. And forget all your worries. Lose yourself in the magic all around you. You are beautiful. You are your own. You are the world.

Let him teach you the art of living and loving and living lovingly. Rise. Reborn. Here – in the arms of the beautiful dawn.

- Review  by RAIN @ The Withering

8/08/2017 DAB Transcript

Ezra 7:1-8:20 ~ 1 Corinthians 4:1-21 ~ Psalm 30:1-12 ~ Proverbs 20:28-30

Today is August 8th. Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I am Brian. It is wonderful to be here with you today. And a fine day that it is, no matter what's going on outside in the weather, no matter what's going on in our lives right now. It’s a fine day to spend some time together as a community and take the next step forward in the scriptures. And, so, that's exactly what we’ll do. We are reading from the Good News translation this week. Ezra chapter 7 verse 1 through 8 verse 20.

Commentary:

Ok, so, yesterday in First Corinthians we were talking about how Paul was saying, look you can't get an identity by who follow. You can’t get an identity any other way. We are all built upon the same foundation and we are building upon that foundation, which is Christ. And what we build matters but in the end, it's all in God's hands. His judgment is His judgment and what we think about that has no bearing and what we walk around telling each other about what God is going to do, we are, like, talking in a way that we don't understand. We’re trying to use the world's wisdom to make us seem wise, when, actually, God looks at that wisdom and sees it as nonsense. So, there is only one foundation and we are all built upon it and struggling for identity and who we follow or our rituals and customs, that’s not going to get us there. It's all already ours. Paul continues, obviously because we're just in the next day and we’re reading the next portion of the letter, he continues with some of that thought, he expands upon that thought, which is a bit of dismantling the places that we naturally gravitate toward to get identity. Right? In judging each other. And Paul is saying, I don’t even judge myself. And that's not to say that I can just do whatever I want. I just understand that I have a conscience that's clear before God. But that doesn't mean I'm innocent. It's just…this is the best I have and the Lord is the judge and we should apply that to ourselves and to each other. So, quoting from First Corinthians, ‘you should not pass judgment on anyone before the right time comes. Final judgment must wait until the Lord comes. None of you should be proud of one person and despise another. Who made you superior to others? Didn’t God give you everything you have? So, then how can you boast as if what you have were not a gift?’ I mean, this is a huge invitation because Paul’s saying, this struggle for identity by competition by comparison by who you follow, by who don't follow, by who you read, by who you don't read, by who you listen to, by who don't listen to, by what church you go to, by what by what denomination you are part of, these things are kind of beside the point and none of you should be proud of one person and despise another. Who made you superior? Everything you have is from God. Stop pretending it's not a gift. It is for all of us. And it's interesting, because Paul pulls back the veil on ministry. So, he’s basically inferring, you want to follow me, you follow Apollos, you want that to be your identity? Let me tell you with this is really like. So, to quote Paul, ‘it seems to me that God has given the very last place to us apostles. We’re like people condemned to die in public as a spectacle for the whole world of angels and of human beings. For Christ’s sake we are fools. To this very moment we go hungry and thirsty. We are clothed in rags. We are beaten. We wander from place to place. We wear ourselves out with hard work.’

So, there it is. This is what you're following. This is what it really looks like. And every pastor in the sound of my voice, God bless you. You know this is true. And everyone in the sound of my voice that has a pastor, you need to know, this is how it is. It is hard, hard work. I love being in ministry but it is the hardest thing I have ever done. But it sends me to my core on a daily basis. There is no way to survive without this foundation, this sure foundation of Christ. And, so, whenever you’re looking at the person with the microphone who’s on the stage saying words or you’ve got your earbuds in and you’re listening to somebody saying words that’s in ministry, and you think, O, I just wish I could do that or O, I just wish I could have a relationship with Christ like that. Trust me you can. And trust me, this is not easy. And, so, Paul’s just kind of demystifying the whole thing, sort of, like, pulling back the curtain and saying, OK you guys keep trying to find an identity on, like, you’re of Apollo's, you’re of Paul, you’re of Peter, you go to first Baptist, you go to first assembly of God, you go to first United Methodist Church. I mean, on and on we could go. Paul’s saying, behind the identity you have are people who are working themselves crazy to pour out their lives for you as servants. Paul says it like this, ‘we wear ourselves out with hard work. When we are cursed, we have to bless. That is hard work. When we are persecuted, we endure. That is hard work. When we are insulted, we answer back with kind words. Again, that is hard work.’ And it's the work that we're all invited into. All of us, not just pastors and teachers. We’re all invited into this collaboration of building upon the foundation that is Jesus Christ. And then, in a little bit of his own defense, Paul says, look, I’m not telling you this, like, I’m not pulling back the curtain, I’m not saying the things that I'm saying to make you then feel sympathetic toward me because this is such a hard job. I'm not trying to make you feel ashamed. I am just trying to instruct you because there may be many voices in your life or as Paul says, you may have 10,000 guardians in your Christian life but you only have one father. And Paul is looking at the Corinthian church through the Father's eyes. He planted this. He’s cultivated and nurtured this. And, so, he’s saying, like, in your union with Christ, I’ve become your father because I brought the good news to you. And, so, if you’ll look at me that way then I'm begging you to follow my example, the example of not being judgmental, of understanding that God is over it all, of understanding that Christ is the foundation upon which we are building, the understanding that there is no identity in comparison and competition. It's not how this Kingdom works at all. It’s nonsense to God. Try to live that way. And I mean, this can be kind of condemning. Like, we can go, like, wow, he’s kind of coming right at it. But it’s not that. It's an invitation to freedom. It's this plea. You don't have to do this. It's not going anywhere. It's all already yours. There is actually work to be done but it's not against each other. There’s such freedom and invitation in that.

Prayer:

Father, once again, just like yesterday, here we are, inviting You to dismantle these false constructs that we have arrived at to find an identity, even an identity in our faith that is nonsense to You. But we don’t want to live that way, not when You are inviting us into freedom. But it requires a reframing of a lot of things that we thought we knew - about each other, about Your church, about You. It forces us to come clean and it forces us to come as individuals before You. And, so, here we are. Holy Spirit, dismantle whatever You want to take down. Things that we've been working on for years, You have permission to smash that. Things that we’ve thought our whole lives, if they are leading us away from truth, then dismantle them. We’re with You. We entrust our identity to You, fully. Which means, You can dismantle whatever You want to and insert whatever You want to. We are here to serve You. We are here to collaborate with You. We are here to be friends. We are here to be in love. And we have done everything but that. And, so, forgive us God. We step away from all of that, that false creation of an identity, and step into an identity with You and You alone. Come Holy Spirit. We pray in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Announcements:

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And that's it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayers and Praise Reports:

This call is in response to a message I just heard tonight. It's Friday night. It is late. It’s August 5th now. Jake, I am praying for you my brother in Christ. You called about your father taking his life and I want you to know that I will continue to pray for strength for you. And I want to give you a Psalm. This is Psalm 29:11 - The Lord gives strength to His people. The Lord blesses His people with peace. Clearly, you are one of His people. You reached out to Him in your pain and your brothers and sisters here, we hear you and we love you and I'm sure there is a lot of prayer coming your way. God bless you my brother in Christ.

Hi. This is Elaine from Victoria and its Saturday, August 5th. And I heard Jake Oaks pain about his father committing suicide. I know this pain. I had a stepson, he might as well have been called my son, because I was close to him, and he committed suicide. So, I know that grief that you are feeling. But I want to encourage you from Isaiah from the Old Testament. Isaiah 41:10. So it’s, do not fear for I am with you. Do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. And He is holding you, Jake, by your hand. Go with this today, knowing that God is walking you through this very difficult, stressful time. I love you. I love you Brian for this ministry and all your family and all the Daily Audio Bible family. Bless you all today and go with God. Amen.

Hello. This is the greatest trucker from way out west listening to the Daily Audio prayer line on the 5th of August and at the end the last caller was Jake Oaks after his father had taken his life last weekend. I don’t know when that was. Jake, I want you to know that we are praying for you in the most fervent way that we could pray for you and your family in this hour of confusion and despair. And I don’t really have any words to describe how I feel about what happened with your family there. It’s hard to understand and hard to comprehend and my brain doesn’t even want to go there I guess. We are going to be praying for you brother so that prayer has power to heal your family. In Jesus name.

Hi everybody this is Alicia from Kansas. It’s August the 5th. And I just listened to the readings and then the prayers afterwards and I’m calling to tell Jake, whose father took his life this past Tuesday, or whenever. Jake, I’m praying for you and I know there are hundreds if not thousands of others that are praying for you and your family. I am grieving with you and I love you precious one. Lord, Father, I thank you and I praise you so very much for Jake for his vulnerability for reaching out to his prayer family. Lord, Father, I pray that you’ll be with Jake. Wrap Your arms around him. Lord, Father, may he feel Your presence. I thank You and I praise You for his heart. I thank You and I praise You for his family. I pray, Lord, Jesus, that we would be faithful to You and to Jake, Lord, God and continue to lift him up in prayer in Your holy and precious name, I pray. Amen. I love you sweet brother. Bye-bye.

Podcast Recs

The following recs/summaries may contain light-to-moderate spoilers, though I try to keep things vague and rot13 the more specific stuff! Here is an abbreviated spoiler-free rec list, for the sensitive among you.

Night Vale Presents

The three non-WTNV shows have all finished their first seasons (and Alice Isn't Dead just started its second). They're relatively short and contain complete story arcs. 

WTNV: The ur-podcast, the light horror fiction narrative that kicked off the trend. Y'all know it or you don't. If you've somehow never heard it and don't want to start from the pilot, I recommend trying Episode 13; it's a stand-alone episode in a slightly different format than the rest, but it gives a good sense of WTNV's general aesthetic. Also it's just really really good.

Alice Isn't Dead: A surrealist horror roadtrip about a trucker searching for her wife Alice, who isn't dead. She's got nothing to lose and a lot of dangerous road to cover.

Orbiting Human Circus: Bizarre and magical and a little bit heartbreaking, like all good circuses should be. Julian is the janitor of a heavily fictionalized Eiffel Tower, and he desperately wants to be part of the Orbiting Human Circus show that he cleans up after every night.

Within the Wires: Dystopian sci-fi 1980s AU, told through a series of 'relaxation' cassettes. More grounded in reality than the others, though that's not saying much. The medium is also foregrounded much more in the narrative.

Hiatus

Wolf 359: SUPER dark, though you wouldn't know it from the first dozen episodes. However, the inflicting-trauma to coping-with-trauma ratio is low enough that I listened to the whole thing and will almost definitely listen to Season 4 when it's released starting this June. Also, no queerness whatsoever (making it unique on this list).  

Eos 10: Spaceship sitcom. Less artistically ambitious than most of the others on this list, which is not necessarily a point against it. 

Airing

The Strange Case of Starship Iris: Newer sci-fi podcast that I absolutely love; it ticks all my very specific boxes (including medium-as-message) and is also just really well constructed and executed. I adore every single one of the main characters. There are only 4 episodes but I'm so hyped about it. 

The Bright Sessions: Audio files from a therapist to teens and young adults with superpowers. Everything I ever wanted X-Men to be: light on the fight scenes/explosions, heavy on exploring what it means to have superhuman powers and how that might affect your life/relationships.

The Penumbra Podcast: Cyberpunk noir pastiche that sometimes gets a little too broad for me but is generally good fun of the Thrilling Tales! variety.

Ars Paradoxica: Time travel in one of its more complex interpretations. Paradox is a major plot element. Kind of sci-fi historical fiction?

Now for the more detailed writeups, including overviews of queerness and genre. As I said before, potential spoilers are rot13′d...but Here There Be Dragons etc.

Night Vale Presents

All of these are incredibly solid shows with an otherworldly feel to them that I love, despite being otherwise quite different.

All main characters are queer; WTNV has queer side characters (including nonbinary characters), but afaik the only other explicitly queer characters in AID/ORC/WTW are love interests of the MCs. That's pretty understandable, though, given that the casts of the three non-WTNV shows are exponentially smaller, and they've aired significantly fewer episodes.

I want to mention something in a totally value-neutral way: none of the shows feature homophobia or directly discuss queerness (lowkey exception for one episode of WTNV). I actually enjoy that, personally; it's usually very restful to spend time in worlds where queerness is normalized and unremarkable. Occasionally, however, I do want a slightly more direct approach, so I wanted to make a note in case you're in that kind of mood. 

Welcome to Night Vale The first and only podcast I listened to for about a year. Honestly, do I even need to say anything about WTNV?  I do want to mention that I think it's gotten a little bogged down in continuity over the last year. AFAIK it wasn't conceived as a long-running narrative arc, and a lot of its early charm came from the total lack of context. After Year 2, I feel like it did start spending a little too much time explaining things and filling out backstory for elements that, frankly, didn't need them. YMMV ofc, and I still listen to/enjoy every new episode, but I'm not madly in love with Year 3 the way I was with Year 1-2. Queerness: Queer af! The main character gets a full same-sex romance arc; V'q pnyy vg 'unccl-raqvat' ohg vg'f fgvyy batbvat nf n ybivat naq urnygul eryngvbafuvc, juvpu vf rira orggre. Multiple side characters are queer, including a few nonbinary characters who use they/them pronouns.  Genre: tucking into a short stack at 2am in a diner in the American Southwest, slowly realizing that the woman behind the counter called you by name even though you've never been here before, and also you can't quite remember how you got here in the first place. Alice Isn't Dead Beautiful, creepy, and acted by the brilliant Jasika Nicole. I'd place this more firmly in the horror genre than the others, so if you're sensitive to that kind of thing, take note; there's some suspense and a little bit of violence. That said, I am usually MASSIVELY sensitive and can't even watch trailers for horror movies (I have made my peace with never ever seeing Get Out), and I was perfectly fine with it. Queerness: The main character is a woman married to Alice, who isn't dead. It's like the opposite of the Bury Your Gays trope. Genre: driving along a nameless interstate late at night, the world around you narrowed to the section of road thrown into sharp relief by your headlights, and the occasional glint of animal eyes. The Orbiting Human Circus of the Air ORC is the most fanciful of the Night Vale family. The other shows seem like they take place in realities just a shade off from ours, but ORC completely throws any pretense of realism out the window. There's no real sense of a world outside the Circus, and why should there be? The Orbiting Human Circus of the Air has an infinitude of fantastical delights: singing saws, a bird that can mimic (almost) a full orchestra, tap-dancing mice. There's no trick or sleight of hand involved, not even a dusty tome of magic spells. ORC simply presents a world in which these wonders exist in hidden corners. The story is sometimes melancholy, and there are regular hints of a deep sadness underneath the surface, but the main character is defined by his determination and...well, 'optimism' would be too strong a word, but he has an unyielding sense of hope. He doesn't actually think things will turn out well for him (and he's so often right about that), but he clings to the hope that this time, maybe it might. Queerness: Gur znva punenpgre nyyhqrf gb na rk-oblsevraq bapr. This is one of the lighter touches of queerness in the Night Vale family. Genre: peering through a dusty velvet curtain just offstage, while brightly-costumed creatures dance to a tune you haven't heard since you were a child. Within the Wires While all Night Vale Presents shows have some kind of narrative conceit framing the audio medium (community radio station, trucker radio transmissions, broadcast wish fulfillment), those tend to be vehicles for the story and stylistic flourishes, rather than core elements of the story itself. WtW is presented as audio cassettes on full-body relaxation, and the cassettes themselves become key actors. This is not a story that could be told in any other medium, which personally I freaking love. This is also a more sci-fi show than the others, despite being set in AU 1980s, and more blatantly dystopic. The world-building's a little more evident, which is neither a good thing nor a bad thing; I think it's a side effect of being more sci-fi than fantasy. Everything feels like it has an explanation, even if the explanation is not provided, and it all fits together smoothly. Also: the narrator has a mild kiwi accent, which I find incredibly soothing. Queerness: Yep. Gur znva punenpgre unf n pbzcyvpngrq ohg qrpvqrqyl abg cyngbavp (s/s) eryngvbafuvc jvgu gur jbzna gur gncrf ner vagraqrq sbe.  Genre: lying quietly in a sensory isolation tank until you inexplicably start crying for the first time in years.

On hiatus

Wolf 359 So, there are a couple voice actors in Wolf 359 that don't do a whole lot for me, performance-wise. I don't want to get more specific because YMMV and I'm also just a really picky audio consumer, but there you have it. Mostly it's not an issue, though. This is also one of the darker shows I listen to, although it starts out with more of a zany sitcom vibe. There's a fair amount of murder, murder attempts, and general people-being-horrible-in-ways-they-believe-to-be-justified. It's not something I think I could sit through again, but it is a captivating story told well. There's a lot of focus on the emotional arcs and characters dealing with trauma, which I am All About in sci-fi. 

Queerness: zero. Zip. Zilch. It doesn't feature any romance arcs at all, though, so...I found it tolerable. Honestly, if it hadn't come so highly recommended, I probably would not have given it a shot. Genre: placing your hand on a rusty, unmarked door that wasn't in the ship schematics, and knowing you must step through—you must step through. Eos 10 After my first pass at this write-up, I realized that I was being really negative—far more negative than this show deserves. So I want to be clear: I listened to and enjoyed every extant episode of Eos 10, and I'm looking forward to Season 3, whenever it's released. It's a pleasantly entertaining space sitcom and I've gotten attached to the characters; the writing's solid and the voice acting is generally pretty great. It's just not quite tailored to my specific tastes. Ok, back to what I originally wrote: This podcast feels a lot more mainstream/conventional in its tropes than the others. Unlike most of the podcasts I listen to, the medium is invisible to the characters: it's not pitched as a radio show or a voice recorder or a series of motivational tapes. To me, this adds another layer of remove between the audience and the story. It's fine, it's just very straightforward in its presentation, with no medium-specific conceit or anything. It’s not really outsider art in any sense, and could legitimately be a TV show if it had the budget. That's a pretty good description of the show as a whole, honestly. It makes no pretense at being high-concept, it just does what it does. Queerness: This one...is not very queer. One of the side characters is gay but it doesn't really come up a lot. There's also a gay minor character that gets mentioned but never appears, and it's kind of a running gag that the gay character has a thing for the main character, who insists he's straight. It's a gross trope and I kind of winced at it, but it's usually framed by other characters as "are you sure you're not interested, because [gay character] is way out of your league and you're really not going to do better," which mitigates it somewhat for me? Also, gurer ner uvagf gung gur znva punenpgre zvtug npghnyyl or vagrerfgrq va gur tnl punenpgre, but only time will tell whether it's queerbaiting or not. Look, it's not an ideal situation. If it’s a dealbreaker, I totally understand, especially since there's no clear answer to the "is this queerbaiting" question and due to some unfortunate creator health issues, we might not get one for a while. Genre: ducking out of the way as a harried-looking man in a lab coat and stethoscope pelts down the hallway, yelling "GET ME FIVE UNITS OF ALIEN SEX POLLEN, STAT!"

Airing

The Strange Case of Starship Iris

I love this show a disproportionate amount, given that only four episodes have aired. This is a newer podcast, and one I stumbled on completely by accident! I wasn't expecting much, but it was sci-fi and the main character's last name was Liu, so I decided to give it a shot. And then it turned out to be not only awesome but also totally queer! I think I actually said "HAH! YES!" out loud when the queerness was canonized within the first few minutes. (This is why I live alone.) Plus, this is a small thing from a throwaway line, but...the main character weighs roughly the same amount as I do. Do you know how often that happens with Asian characters? Never, is how often. For possibly the first time in my life, I feel like I can legitimately headcanon a main character who looks exactly like me. I'm definitely going to do some incredibly self-indulgent fanart at some point. Unprecedented overidentifying with the main character aside: honestly, it's like this podcast was tailor-made for me. MAJOR SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 1 (and kind of 2): Vafrpher ovbybtvfg wbvaf ent-gnt perj bs fzhttyref jvgu n sbhaq-snzvyl ivor naq nyvra phygheny pynfurf, nyy senzrq va n fvavfgre zrgnaneengvir gung hfrf gur zrqvhz nf n cybg qrivpr, CYHF cbgragvny ebznapr orgjrra na Rnfg Nfvna jbzna naq n Fbhgu Nfvna jbzna? Um, sign me the fuck up.  The only downside is that this has definitely raised my expectations for new podcasts by an unreasonable amount. Every new podcast I've tried since Starship Iris has been vaguely disappointing. My podcast standards are way too high now, and it's all Starship Iris's fault.

Queerness: YES. The main character is a queer woman, there's a nonbinary alien species and the alien crew member uses they/them pronouns, and there's a trans guy. Also, this is wild speculation, but V guvax/oryvrir/ubcr gung bar bs gur bgure srznyr perj zrzoref vf orvat frg hc nf n ebznagvp vagrerfg sbe gur znva punenpgre. There's some explicit discussion of gender identity in a non-traumatic way which tbh is like water in the freaking desert.

Genre: ??? it's too new and I love it too much to assign it a genre. 

The Bright Sessions

As I said in the spoiler-free summary: this is everything I wanted X-Men to be. Hell, it's everything I ever want superhero stories to be, and it's why I've been drawn to superhero stories since I was a teenager. The Bright Sessions deals with the complex consequences of, e.g., having empathy powers as a teenager while learning how to manage your own emotions and maturity. The main character is Dr. Bright, a therapist specializing in people with superpowers, which naturally provides the perfect angle for those people to get really navel-gazey about their lives. There is an actual overarching plot with a shadowy government agency, of course, but that's definitely not what I'm here for and luckily that’s clearly just a vehicle for the feelings.

Queerness: One of the main characters has a m/m romance arc; another main character is asexual; a side character (who may soon be considered a main character?) is bisexual. Because the conceit is therapy sessions, Dr. Bright does inquire delicately about how her patients may or may not be coping with emerging/existing queer identities, but none of them find it traumatic.

Genre: telekinetically fiddling with a desk puzzle limned in afternoon sun, as the doctor asks: "And how does that make you feel?"

The Penumbra Podcast

I'd had the Penumbra Podcast on my radar/subscriptions list for a while, but I'd never quite finished the first episode...until the remastered/rewritten first story was released. The difference is astronomical. The creators talk about audio quality etc. in their reasoning for recreating the first story, but for me, the main distinction is the skill in storytelling and the confidence to create noir without relying on questionable tropes to signal "hard-boiled!!!" I sometimes think the writing and characterizations are a little broad, but that may be down to genre. Penumbra doesn't really go for 'subtle' or 'realistic.' An important format note: there's a main character with episodic adventures, but in between the two-part adventures, there are one-shots in various genres. I actually skipped most of the one-shots because I'm not great with horror or kid stories.

Queerness: The main character of the main story is queer (jvgu na qryvtugshyyl rzbgvbanyyl pbafgvcngrq z/z ebznapr nep gung'f abg va n terng cynpr evtug abj), as are numerous side characters. It's a noir pastiche, though, so the main character is pretty self-sabotaging in all areas of his life; a 'happy ending' doesn't seem incredibly likely. One of the stand-alone stories is a queer Western, which I found delightful. It's also one of the few stand-alone stories that has a bonus follow-up episode.

Genre: taking a long, slow drag on a cigarette as the rain blurs the neon lights and filth of the alien city below.

Ars Paradoxica

Ars Paradoxica shares a producer with The Bright Sessions, which is why I tried it! Like all decent time travel stories, Ars Paradoxica is meticulously planned with a lot of moving parts. The worldbuilding is intense and requires actually paying attention, which can be challenging for me since I typically listen to podcasts while multitasking.  Frankly, it moves a little slow for me...which is odd to say about a show that regularly has timeskips of months or years and literally involves time travel. I guess I feel that way because there's a lot of attention paid to the action and plot, but less to the emotional character arcs. And obviously my narrative preferences run a certain way, so I'm only really paying attention to the character stuff. Which, to be fair, certainly exists and is carried through well—it's just not in my preferred proportions. Plus, the cast is quite sprawling compared to most other podcasts, and the tone is almost Crapsack World but not quite. 

Queerness: The main character is explicitly asexual and briefly explains it, and there are a handful of queer side characters. It's semi-historical, and there's some discussion of managing visibility etc. 

Genre: staring into the dusty gears of a massive clock running backwards as the minute hand slowly approaches a blinking red light.

Literacy Narrative

My literacy narrative is a part of my period of reflection. While writing it I thought of who I am as a student.

The original prompt of my English Narrative was to self reflect on your own writing and relationship with English classes. I stuck to this prompt while expanding on my own writing skills and relationships with classes as a whole instead of just reflecting on English. I choose to revise this essay because of the basis of self-reflection. Self-reflection allows for self-discovery so this essay flows into my topic of creativity and self-discovery within furthering my education.

Moving around a lot has shaped the way that I interpret literacy. As my literary skills were developing and forming I was being introduced into many different cultures and school curriculums. The way I was developing as a thinker while I transitioned from school to school shaped my writing. Starting school in New York put me ahead in many ways. In New York, you are allowed to start school earlier.  I had more than a few things shaping the way I speak and write.They also start teaching certain things earlier. I learned parts of a sentence and the definition of a noun earlier. I learned about 1st, 3rd, and even 2nd person when I was only in the 2nd grade. In high school, you get a better understanding of when to use it and how to stay in one point of view for a whole essay. When I moved to South Carolina I knew I was ahead. The content they were teaching in my English class was so simple to me and I felt uncomfortable always being done first or being the only one that knew the answer. Eventually, I was tested to be put in advanced classes. When I moved again I was in 4th grade. Once again my English class was so simple to me. I remember telling my mom about my classes and how some of the kids in my gym class are in different English classes. I told my mom that these kids were always reading and seemed to be in a small group together. My mom went to the school to explain to them that I tested into advanced classes and eventually I was moved back into these advanced classes. In these classes, we read a lot and wrote a lot. I remember we would have 15 minutes to just write about our day but it had to have an introduction. We would also have book reports due every month. I feel these classes are what put me ahead and is really where I got my base knowledge about literacy and writing. My first encounter with formal essays happened mostly in South Carolina. I feel that the curriculum teachers were following did not focus heavily on the structure. They did, however, focus on reading. There were always prizes that were based around reading. The class that reads 100 books first would get a pizza party or extra time outside, These incentives did encourage me to read more but after a while, I just read because I enjoyed it. I would read outside on the playground, in gym class, at home when I was eating dinner or even when I was in the supermarket with my mom. I enjoyed reading so much I started reading books that my mom had on her bookshelf because I ran out of my own books. The collection of books my mom owned introduced me to new authors and series. The first series that I was introduced to in elementary school was The Babysitters Club. This series touched on personal issues within the characters as well as taught life lessons. I felt that the way this series was written really flowed and it directed me to how I would like to write creatively. It focused heavily on descriptive words and thoroughly explaining what is going on. Figurative language became something that was very stressed. It became engraved in our everyday life. Figurative language had to be incorporated into every story and every poem. Elementary school shaped how I use words and when I use words. Middle school shaped the structure I use when typing essays. As I continued going through English classes I lost a lot of the base things that I learned. Some English teachers led me astray and made me second guess my writing skills. I started to believe the more SAT words you use in writing the better your piece would be. I didn’t pay much attention to grammatical errors. I just try to fit as many SAT words as I can. I knew that using words to replace basic words such as good and bad would make my writing look better. This became my only goal. I did not pay attention to where I put a comma or semicolon. In 6th and 7th grade writing was not heavily stressed. Common core was introduced and everything became focused on critical thinking and analyzing. This became all that English class was about it was very strict and did not allow for any literary freedom. This is where I started to learn how to construct an essay.  I only knew the basic structure of an essay,  introduction, 3 paragraphs, and a conclusion. I also learned about argumentative essays and what those included. We touched on poetry but it was not heavily talked about. I did learn of rhyme scheme, tone, and syntax. Tone taught me how to put life into my writing. When you write and think of how tone can affect your characters or your message, it gives new life to your writing. In 8th grade, I was introduced to a whole new way to look at literature. We discussed literature thoroughly during class. My English teacher heavily stressed writing and perfecting your writing. He wanted us to write multiple rough drafts until we had a clear concise paper with absolutely no mistakes. He also introduced us to classic literature such as Brave New World and Animal Farm. While Animal Farm does not contain sophisticated language because it was 2written by George Orwell, Brave New World has a more sophisticated tone and an indirect way of telling the story. Both of these books influenced me in different ways. Animal Farm taught me about character development and how word choice can show tone. Brave New World taught me how to describe a scene without being so direct by using allusions. I used these techniques in my creative writing and eventually blended into my formal writing. Highschool transformed me into the writer I am today.  I learned how to use transitions to create a better flow. Words like however and therefore became a normal part of my writing. In high school, I learned how to expand on that and create a thesis as well as a hook. Knowing your thesis and how to create one gives you direction. A hook pulls your reader in.  I also started to write short stories more often. Writing longer stories or essays became second nature because of how often I was writing. High school didn’t introduce much that was new literature wise but it did make it easier to know how to write on a college level. I still have trouble writing long essays or even when I start an essay continuing to write without restating points I already covered. As I continue to grow as a writer I hope to gain the ability to include transitions smoothly as well as incorporate SAT words as they fit. I also hope to be able to start an essay and continue typing it without having to take breaks to gather my thoughts or to think of the point I’m trying to make. At Howard, I would really like to learn how to put my thoughts on paper in an organized way. I need my thoughts to flow together cohesively to keep my paper from being awkward.  I want to understand how to write for long periods of time without repeating myself. The longer my essay the more likely I am to repeat the same concept over and over in a different way. I would also like to be able to interpret every literary piece without assistance. Usually, when I read a piece by myself I have to read it multiple times and even then I have to google someone else’s analysis to understand the piece. I would like to be able to dissect a piece on my own after reading it a couple of times. I do not feel that my writing is on a college level I would like to be confident in my own writing skills. In order for this to happen, I need to work on aspects of my own literary knowledge. I also have to expand my knowledge and read more college literature. I know that I can expand my skills.

Syllabus

        Intro to Theatre Design 220                                               Spring 2017 - 3 Credits

Instructor: Maureen Weiss Meeting Times: Section 01: Mon & Wed 8:00 - 9:30 Section 02: Mon & Wed 9:40 - 11:10 Location: Foley Annex 170 Office Hours: 11:30 - 12:30 M/W and by appt Friday Office Location: Adjunct Faculty Office 3rd Floor Foley Contact Info: [email protected], [email protected] C:  310.720.5981  O: 310.568.6667       Course Description

Why is it important to study theatrical design? In this course, we will prepare ourselves to become fully enveloped in the art of the theatre. This requires opening our eyes to all of the ways in which to tell a theatrical story. By delving into the three areas of design: Costume, Lighting, and Scenography, we will enhance our ability to see the world of the play as so much more than a static vessel for the performer. We will probe the various avenues of design in order to truly investigate the importance of design for the future of a theatre artist. Specifically, I am asking for you to play the role of designer, and in playing this role you will find out what it means to exist within the theatrical world as a visual being.

Course Objective

To provoke the students to uncover their own distinctive voice and find the ways in which they can enliven their visual minds to create stage pictures using costume, sets, and lighting. In addition, this course aims to teach the students the importance of how to read and discover the meaning of a play through the use of metaphor, color, and composition. In doing so, the students will learn the basic skill set required by a theatrical designer; model building, sketching, and rendering.

Course Goals

My goal is that by the end of this course you will have:

gained confidence in your  ability to communicate your ideas visually. learned how to read a script closely and with an openly creative mind. accrued the ability to work with precision and craftsmanship in accordance with design standards and artistic knowledge. considered the importance of an organized mind in a chaotic environment. contemplated the ways in which lighting, costume, and scenic design contribute to the future of theatre, and in that way may even consider continuing down this career path. completely appreciate the interconnectedness of the visual and performing arts.

*Tumblr* I will be keeping information about the class on a tumblr. I will be updating this periodically. It is to your advantage to follow along and to check it regularly. Here’s the link: http://www.design220lmu2017.tumblr.com

Evaluation In this class, a student’s final grade will be a combination of:

Assignments: Idea Journal 10% Of Final Grade .99 Cent Store/ Composition 3% Concept Essay for APLAY 5% Images/Research for APLAY 2% Costume Renderings for APLAY 8% Scenic Design for APLAY 8% Lighting Design for APLAY 8% Model plus lighting for APLAY 15% Production Attendance/Reviews 8%

Participation/Attendance 3%

Final Exam/Group Assignment 30%

Extra Credit 5%

HOMEWORK POLICY ALL ASSIGNMENTS ARE DUE AT THE BEGINNING OF THE CLASS PERIOD ON THE DATE INDICATED IN THE SYLLABUS (unless changed by the instructor or mutually agreed upon by instructor and class members in all sections). Assignments will be accepted up to one week late with the grade automatically reduced by one full letter. After one week late, assignments will NOT be accepted and a grade of zero will be entered in the grade book.

IDEA JOURNAL How do we know what we know? Why do we feel how we fee? What are we thinking and seeing? Thus, once a week you will be required to gather inspiration, thoughts, and creative markings into a journal to be included in the Production Notebook. See attached sheet for more information on the Idea Journal.

PARTICIPATION/ATTENDANCE Theatre is about showing up and being willing to say “yes”. Thus, In this class, students will not be graded for participation based on mere attendance. Students’ participation is not just a matter of quantity (e.g., how many times they come to class or how many times they speak up in class), but also and above all a matter of quality. This means that students will not be able to obtain a full participation grade just by being physically present in class. On the other hand, this also implies that students who do not attend class regularly will not be able to engage in discussions held in or outside class time. Participation will be evaluated along 3 main dimensions: *Contribution to in-class activities and discussions *Engagement in collaborative exercises *Responses to weekly free-writes Attendance will be evaluated along 2 main dimensions: *Showing up on time and prepared for class *Showing up for outside field trips and group work

PRODUCTION ATTENDANCE AND THOUGHTS: This is not a review. I repeat. This is not a review. Thus, you will be required to write an 800 word paper outlining the ways in which you might have designed this show if you were the designer. For each show you will cover it from the perspective of a different design profession. For example, the first show is The Chekhov Fest and you will be required to write about it from the perspective of a scenic designer. Asking yourself the question, “how might I have made this show my own”? This means thinking of things like concept, time period, color, and form. The required productions are: Tartuffe The Strub Theatre Feb 17-25     Costume The Rose Tatoo The Barnelle Theatre March 17-25 Scenic New Works Festival Strub Apr 25-29 Light Fun Home The Taper Mar 2 EC Critique

EXAM/FINAL PROJECT There will be one exam that will be multiple choice, fill in the blank, and matching. This exam will cover much of the material that I discuss in my lectures- so it is wise to take notes and ask questions whenever you are confused. We will have a review session before the exam, but it is also wise to get together with a study group during the week to review the material. IF... you have to miss an exam for any unforeseen reason, please contact me to set-up an alternate time to take the exam. The final project will be a group assignment that is do on the day of the class final. I will be giving out instructions and information towards the end of the semester. You will be give ample amount of time to work on this project, but I will be concentrating my grading on your ability to use the material that I have covered in the course and turn it into practical knowledge.

EXTRA CREDIT The Wooster Group: The Town Hall Affair March 22 - April 1
REDCAT
The Wooster Group’s newest work THE TOWN HALL AFFAIR delves into the revolutionary fervor of feminist thinking and art “happenings” of 1970s New York. The piece is based on the Chris Hegedus and D.A. Pennebaker film Town Bloody Hall, a documentary of a 1971 panel that featured feminist thinkers and activists— including Germaine Greer, Jill Johnston, and Diana Trilling — with Norman Mailer serving as an immoderate moderator. Fun Home: Critique

TIMELINE OF ASSIGNMENTS assigned due Idea Journal 01/09 Once a week/midterm check/final Production Reviews 01/09 1 week after viewing performance .99 Cent Store 01/18 01/23 Images/Research 01/23 02/01 Concept Essay 02/01 02/08 Costume Renderings 02/08 02/22 Set Design Packet 02/22 02/27 Model 02/22 03/01 Lighting Design Packet 03/15 03/27 Model w/ Light 03/15 03/29 Group Project 04/18 On Final Day.

GRADING Grades will be based upon completion of the identified course activities and projects/tests at indicated percentages listed below. This grading curve applies: 100-94 A 89-88   B+ 79-78   C+ 69-68   D+ 59-0     F 93-90   A- 87-83   B 77-73   C 67-63   D 82-80   B- 72-70   C-   62-60   D-

Failure to turn in an assignment will result in a grade of zero for that assignment for use in compiling numerical averages.

WORKLOAD EXPECTATIONS 3 credit hour (unit-semester hour) courses in the College of Communication and Fine Arts will require the student spend a minimum of 6 hours a week, on average, outside of class time researching, applying, and otherwise investigating the material presented during class time.  (One student may spend more (or less) time with a given assignment than another.  Furthermore, there are cycles in the term where one week may be rather quiet but the demands of the next week exceed the minimum of 6 hours of work.  The syllabus will outline the projects of the term and the professor will discuss the arc of workload during the semester.)  In some cases, this work will involve discussion with classmates and/or independent study, reflection, reading, and writing.  The final grade will reflect both attendance and participation during class as well as work outside class.  To both support and augment your learning, you may consult with your professor during regularly scheduled office hours.  Additionally, a variety of resources and support services are available, including but not limited to: the holdings and staff of the William Hannon Library, the staff and workshops at the Academic Resource Center, contemplative and service retreats sponsored by a variety of on-campus organizations, and a range of varied university events (e.g., lectures, symposia, exhibits, and performances).   LAB FEES This course includes a $100 lab fee. This fee covers your drafting and art supplies, as well as, theatre tickets to an outside production. Required Materials (will be provided): Woodless Colored Pencils, Illustration Board, Princeton Brush set, Water Color Set, Xacto Knife #1, Alum Straight Edge, Strathmore Pad, Pencils, Foam Core, Journal, & Elmers glue Email Guidelines Students are welcome to use email to contact me ([email protected] or [email protected]) and ask me brief questions. I will normally answer within the next 24 hours or so. I am also available by text message. Text me @ 310.720.5981. Students who have lengthy or complex questions (i.e. that would take me longer than five minutes to answer via email) should meet with me in person. Also - there may be times that I will need to email the whole class or individuals regarding assignments. I will use your LMU address unless otherwise noted. Please check it regularly.

At all times, students are encouraged to contact me and visit me in my office to share ideas, questions, concerns and insights about the class as well as broader issues relating to theatre, art, and design.

Academic Honesty: Academic dishonesty will be treated as an extremely serious matter, with serious consequences that can range from receiving no credit for assignments/tests to expulsion. It is never permissible to turn in any work that has been copied from another student or copied from a source (including Internet) without properly acknowledging the source. It is your responsibility to make sure that your work meets the standard of academic honesty set forth in the “LMU Honor Code and Process” which appears in the LMU Bulletin 2010-2011 (see http://www.lmu.edu/about/services/registrar/Bulletin/Bulletins_in_PDF_Format.htm.)

Americans with Disabilities Act: Students with special needs as addressed by the Americans with Disabilities Act who need reasonable modifications, special assistance, or accommodations in this course should promptly direct their request to the Disability Support Services Office. Any student who currently has a documented disability (physical, learning, or psychological) needing academic accommodations should contact the Disability Services Office (Daum Hall Room 224, 310-338-4535) as early in the semester as possible. All discussions will remain confidential. Please visit http://www.lmu.edu/dss for additional information. *This syllabus is subject to revision; students are responsible for any changes or modifications distributed in class or emailed to your LMU address.

WEEKLY COURSE AND READING SCHEDULE

Week 1: Design and color. Wearing your designer hat. (Jan 09 - 11)

M 01/09: Delving in Head First... Composition “Your World. You”       Syllabus       Idea Journal Assignment Due Following Wednesday. But normally every Monday! Find a piece of trash. Write about it. Reading Due for Wednesday: SLP Possession Intro W 01/11: The Bones of Design         Free-write/draw every Wednesday Comprehending Suzan Lori Parks Figuring out your task as a designer   Week 2: Using design to tell a story. .99cent store. (Jan 16 - 18)

M 01/16: MLK (NO CLASSES)

W 01/18: Integral Components of Design (Tibor Kalman)      Idea Journal Due      Color Lecture      .99 cent store Composition assigned for 01/23 Idea Journal Assignment for following Monday: Write about your favorite color. Reading for Monday: SLP Elements of Style

Week 3: Reading. Investigating. Designing a play.  (Jan 23 - 25)

M  01/25: You’ve got the job. Now what?      Concept Lecture      .99 cent Store Assignment Due Idea Journal Assignment: Doodle.   Reading Due for Wednesday: SLP The America Play Act One

W 01/27: America Play Discussion Images/Research Assigned due 02/01 Reading Due for Monday: SLP The America Play Act Two

Week 4: Dissecting a Text for Design Concept (Jan 31 - Feb 01)

M   01/31: America Play Continued               Idea Journal Assigned: Whole/Hole? Show me what this means.

W 02/01: You have your research and imagery now what?       Concept Essay Assigned due 02/08       Images/Research Due

Week 5:  Costumes. History. Drawing. (Feb 6 - 08)

M   02/06: Costumes Lecture Idea Journal Assigned: Find three pieces of fabric. Attach them to your journal. Why are these pieces of fabric interesting to you?

W 02/08: Drawing a person? A costume rendering? How To?     Costume Idea/Rendering Project Assigned due 02/20     Concept Essay Due

Week 6: Field Trip. Set Design. Brief History. (Feb 13 - 15)

M 02/13: Watching others. Recording images. On-campus Field Trip. Idea Journal Assigned: Take a photo of something you see. Draw something you see. Write down a phrase you overhear.

W 02/15: What do you want your set to look like? How to convey this.   Week 7: Set Design. Image Board. Begin Models.(Feb 20 - 22)

M 02/20: Making a basic model.    Costume Rendering Project Due Idea Journal Assigned: Visit some place you like. Gather evidence from this place. Display this evidence in some way in your journal. Scenic Design Project assigned Packet Due 02/27 Model Due 03/01   W 02/22:  Continue Working on Models       Week 8: Model Building. (Feb 27 - Mar 01)

M 02/27: Finishing touches on Model Idea Journal Assigned: Map out your day. What does it look like?

W 03/01: Presenting your models.    Models Due

Week 9: Spring Break!

Week 10: Sketch-Up. Lighting. Design. History. (Mar 13 - 15)

M 03/13 : Google Sketch-up tutorial. Idea Journal Assignment: Respond to David Lynch’s discussion about the light in Los Angeles. (I will hand out the excerpt)

W 03/15:  History of Lighting.       How to conceptualize lighting.       Lighting Project Assigned and Packet Due 3/27 Model w/ Light 3/29

Week 10: How to compose a Scene with Light.  (Mar 20 - 22)

M 03/20: Playing with Light in Spaces. Idea Journal Assignment: Discover a new artist all on your own. Write it. Show it.

W 03/22: Using color and light to tell stories- convey mood and meaning.                  Create a scene and act within it.

Week 11: Show and Tell. (Mar 27 - Mar 29)

M 3/27 : Fix models for lighting project.   Watch how lighting effects film. Idea Journal Assignment: Make a logo for yourself. Use some form of your name.

W 3/29: Lighting Projects Presented    Lighting Projects Due

Week 12: Putting it together. (Apr 3 - 5)       M 04/03: Idea Journal Assignment: Make a pocket and fill it with something. How do your designs accurately or inaccurately portray your concept for The America Play? What would you change? Go back. Let’s make some changes.

W 04/05: Review for Exam

Week 13: Review. Exam (Apr 10 - 12)

M 04/10:  EXAM Idea Journal Assignment: Find a play that you would like to design. Write about it.

W 04/12: No Classes

Week 14: What is the Big Idea? Final Project. (Apr 17 – 19)

M 04/17: Final Project discussed.               Groups Assigned.                Final Project Assigned and Due in class on the day of the final. Idea Journal Assignment: Make something. Exchange it with someone in the class.

W 04/19: Working on the Final Project

Week 15: Final Thoughts. Final Project. (Apr 24 – 26)

M 04/24: One last lecture. On Theatre. On Art. Design. and You. LAST Idea Journal Assignment: What is it that you have yet to convey that you would like to convey?

W 04/26: Time allowed to work in class on your final projects.

Final Exam: Section 01: Monday, May 1st at 8am.  Section 02: Wednesday, May 3rd at 8am.