I know I'm just being delusional but I really think sskk would be good parents

Zakkura at the Golden Saucer. Fluffy but funny! Though, honestly, I'll be happy with anything. Thank you!!

The pressure was on Cloud now, and it was nearly palpable in the air around him. All of his muscles were tense as he waited, slowing his breathing and trying to focus. His grip around the leather tightened. His eyes darted around to collect all the information he could later use to his advantage. His entire body was taut like a bow, aimed and ready to find its target true. Cloud only had one mission to fulfill here tonight, and failure was absolutely not an option. Too much hung in the balance of his success. 

“Let’s do this fair and square,” his opponent smirked, and Cloud glared at him in return. 

“Bring it,” he taunted, and took one last deep breath as the announcer chimed in. 

“And... begin!”

The bang of the starter gun was deafening, but not as deafening as Zack’s whooping as he kicked his chocobo into a well-timed starting sprint. 

“Seeya later, Cloudy!” Zack taunted, sticking his tongue out at the blonde who frowned at his own missed start and kicked his canary yellow chocobo into a gallop. 

“It’s okay,” he reassured his mount (and himself). “This is the long track. Zack stands no chance if he doesn’t remember that.”

His chocobo crowed in acknowledgement, and settled into its rapid pace. Cloud kept his eyes peeled for obstacles, leading the animal over the initially simple bumps and turns in the race track. He didn’t mean to brag, but he was actually quite talented at chocobo riding. 

It just so happened that Zack “Golden Child” Fair was also good at it. Unfairly so. Cloud just wanted to knock him down a peg, finally have something to tease Zack about, for all the teasing the latter did for him. 

Speaking of the man, Cloud huffed self-satisfactorily as he saw him turn the next sharp bend. As expected, his charcoal grey chocobo had slowed down after its initial burst of energy, allowing Cloud to catch up with his steady pace. 

“How’s that overconfidence treating you?” he taunted as he came up behind Zack, enjoying the brief flash of panic in the older boy’s eyes. 

“Rather well, thanks for asking!” Zack grinned, not seeming too worried. “Don’t worry Cloudy! I’m sure you’ll look ravishing in that dress!”

“Like I’d actually let you force me into another one of those things.” Having brief flashbacks to Don Corneo’s mansion, Cloud could only shudder. 

He focused on avoiding the more treacherous mountain terrain for a bit, distancing himself from Zack to take it easier and steer his chocobo away from the pitfalls and rocks, smug when he noticed Zack’s chocobo trip and stumble in the distance with a loud crow and an accompanying cry of surprise. That was Cloud’s opportunity to catch up again, this time side-by-side with Zack. 

“Don’t get your feathers too ruffled when I win,” he scoffed, lowering his body to ease his chocobo into a sprint. The wind whipped past him, whistling in his ear, but it wasn’t loud enough to cover up the sound of Zack’s loud, unrestrained laughter. 

“Was that a pun?” he laughed, also lowering his weight to keep up with Cloud in his sprint. “I can’t believe it. A pun! From Mr. Sunshine himself!” 

“Stop talking,” Cloud gruffly said, feeling his cheeks heat up despite the cold wind on his face. “I’ll push you off your mount.”

“I’d like to see you try.” Zack’s voice suddenly dropped and oh, there was the competitive streak that had started this ordeal in the first place. A shiver ran across Cloud’s body, heating him up at the sound of that tone. 

“Don’t test me,” he threatened, bringing his chocobo closer until he was within reach of Zack and shoving his shoulder roughly. At least Zack hadn’t seemed to expect it of him, his chocobo veering off course slightly and narrowly avoiding a protruding tree root in consequence. 

If Cloud wore a smug smirk on his face as he took the lead, nobody saw. 

“Hey, I’m coming for ya!” Never the quitting type, Zack quickly caught back up to him, this time taking the lead on the assault by trying to bump Cloud’s chocobo off the path. Cloud pulled on the reigns tightly to keep his mount on the right track, and while he was focused, Zack leaned over and grabbed his arm. “Two can play at that game!”

“Let go!” Cloud grunted, trying to shake the annoyance off, tightening his legs around his mount to use both of his hands to pry Zack off. The latter only seemed to be having the time of his life like this, also letting go of the reigns in order to wrestle Cloud in what was likely a violation of at least four rules on the racetrack. 

“Come on, Cloudy, you can do better!”

“You’re so annoying... Get off!”

“Can’t make me! I’ll do what I have to to win!”

“In your dreams, weirdo.”

Zack laughed at that, genuinely amused, and perhaps it was the radiant grin on his face that suddenly took Cloud’s breath away. His heart skipped a beat as if free-falling when he looked at the sheer happiness on his partner’s expression. 

Less than a year ago, golden days like these seemed unattainable for both of them, each one stuck in a nightmare of their own. How far they’d come, Cloud realized, simply by never giving up on one another. 

Instead of having his eyes on Zack’s blinding euphoria, however, he should have paid attention to the racetrack. It was the panicked cawing of his chocobo that drew him out of his contemplation, and he turned to the front urgently. 

Too little too late, Cloud noted the boulder in their path at the same time as Zack did. Just when Cloud felt the grip on his arm begin to loosen, their chocobos let out twin cries of panic and each split into a different direction to avoid the boulder. 

“Whoa!” Before they knew it, they were both free-falling off their mounts, hanging on tightly to one another in the absence of all else, the gesture nearly ingrained into them after so long of it having kept them alive. It wasn’t too tall of a drop, but when they landed awkwardly in a tangle of limbs, it was undeniably painful. 

“Oww....” Zack groaned, finally letting go once they were on solid ground, sitting up to rub his head where he’d cracked it against the ground. 

“This is why you should’ve been more careful,” Cloud complained, mimicking the action and cradling his elbow where it had impacted the ground painfully, lightning bolts shooting all the way into his shoulder. At the sight of him, Zack’s face only split into a grin again, despite the spot of blood welling up on his forehead. “Hey, be serious for a second!”

“No way,” Zack chuckled. “That was fun. Sucks we didn’t finish the race though.”

“Zack!”

“Is your arm okay?” 

“Yes, it’s...” Cloud groaned, realizing he wouldn’t be winning this. “It’s fine. Zack, that was dangerous.”

“There are worse dangers in life,” Zack casually said, and meant it. Shrugging, he put his hand out to inspect Cloud’s arm, making sure it wasn’t broken. “So wait... if neither of us won, then who’s going to wear the dress!?”

“Nobody’s wearing dresses!” the blonde grumbled, jumping when Zack touched a sensitive part of his arm. 

“But you’d be so pretty...”

“I will end you.”

Zack laughed at that, letting Cloud’s arm go to instead cradle his jaw in his hands. They were dusty from the fall but warm, and Cloud immediately felt his heart skip a beat. Almost on instinct, his eyes darted down to his lips, feeling light at the sight of the beautiful, simple smile etched on them. 

“Alright, it’s a tie, then,” Zack conceded in a softer voice, caressing Cloud’s cheek. “Consolation prize?”

“You’re such a baby.” He said that, but Cloud did lean in to kiss him, soft and brief, enjoying every moment of it. It was at times like these that he realized how close he’d come to losing Zack forever, and he hated the feeling of anxiety that came with all of their moments together. 

“Mhm,” Zack hummed, drawing back and then back in for another kiss, slightly longer this time. “Sorry for pushing you off. Didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“It’s fine.” Cloud didn’t dare open his eyes just yet, just in case this was just another mako dream. “Glad you’re well enough to keep making fun of me.”

“I’ll make fun of you even on my deathbed,” Zack promised lightly, although there was something bitter to it that prompted Cloud to lean in and hold on tight to him. 

The two of them stayed there for a minute, tangled in one another and breathing softly in tandem, letting the joy of their peaceful moment together wash away all the doubts that always sat at the back of their minds. The “what if”s and “could’ve been”s faded from attention, replaced instead by the acute awareness of how warm, solid, and alive they were under one another’s hands. 

Cloud couldn’t imagine where he would be now if not in Zack’s arms. 

“Hey! Lovebirds!”

“Well, moment’s over,” Zack chuckled, moving away from Cloud just in time to see Aerith ride around the bend, heading their way on a beautiful white chocobo. Tifa followed not too far behind on a pink mount, worry etched on her face as she spotted them. 

“We totally saw you wipe out on the cameras!” Aerith laughed shamelessly as she stopped next to them. “You two owe damages to the racetrack owner, just saying.”

“Oh, good. More money we don’t have.” Cloud punctuated that sentence with a glare directed at his other half, who, in return, simply chuckled sheepishly. 

“Oops.”

“Well, climb on. Tifa and I will take you back,” Aerith prompted. “Gotta say, though... there really are more romantic places to make out than on the chocobo racing track.”

“Eh,” Zack shrugged, helping Cloud stand and linking their fingers together. “We’re used to just taking whatever opportunity we can get.”  And Cloud clung on tightly, renewing his eternal vow never to let go.

Chapter 4 - What is betray

The taxi brought Machi, Nobunaga, and Kortopi back to the hotel in a tense atmosphere.

'But yes, he's with us... Stop roaring, Phinks!... I can't understand a word, see you later.' Nobunaga hung up and sighed deeply.

He glanced at Kortopi in the rear-view mirror, sitting in the back seat, 'You should have left a note, at last! What the hell is wrong with you? Leaving one of your copies, Sharnalk almost had a stroke!'

'You're losing sight of what's important. He shouldn't have gone out at all.' Machi answered in a tired voice.

Faced with Kortopi's silence, the swordsman lost what little patience he had left, 'Answer when someone speaks to you, kid.'

'Leave it, Nobu,' Machi intervened and tapped the child's thigh, 'He'll speak when he's ready.'

Nobunaga bristles, 'Stop always defending him, you're not doing him any favors. I can tell you he's lucky we got to him before the others. And drinking too! Phinks was so pissed that he lost his words, and the ones I understood don't sound good.'

Machi grinned at the thought of the trio waiting for their return.

.....

No sooner had they entered the hall doors than Feitan and Phinks rushed at them. Feitan lifted the child by his collar, shaking him hard enough to make his teeth tremble, while Phinks blocked the way of the swordsman who wanted to get in his way.

Kortopi opened his mouth to speak, but Feitan cut him off. 'Don't bother,' he scolded 'Your fault. Party ruined. '

Kortopi, mortified, hung limply in his arms as tears streamed down his cheeks. Feitan softened immediately and put him down again. He ran his thin fingers through his own hair, embarrassed, 'You going to kill us. Lot of concern for you. Don't redo.'

He walked to the elevator and gently pushed the child down his lower back, inviting him to walk with him. Machi deactivated his Nen and followed them, closely followed by Nobunaga who released his fingers from the handle of his katana.

.....

The next day, Kortopi woke up with a start.

In three days, meet at 5 pm in front of this subway station, alone. I repeat it to you one last time, I forbid you to speak about our interview to your friends, if you try to deceive me I'll know.

Kortopi, consumed with guilt, had followed Wedy's instructions and hadn't picked up a word since the day before.

Am I betraying the spider?

At this thought, he thought of his dead companions. Uvoguine had died for the spider by refusing to pass on information, and ironically, Pakunoda committed suicide in order to bring it to the other members. Korutopi's thoughts were reorganized around a single goal.

I must protect my comrades, even if it means betraying the spider

The child wondered how he could fool the troops when he saw Sharnalk's head sticking out of the doorway, 'How about a game of cards, Sleeping Beauty?'

.....

'Revolution.' Shizuku revealed his four cards as his friends pulled the grin.

'Eh, we said we don't play with wild cards!'

'You're making it up, we never said that!'

'Forget it Bono, Shizuku never remembers something she's forgotten.'

A little later, Kortopi went to a secluded room, feverishly pressing the keys of the phone he'd borrowed from the manipulator. The misunderstanding that troubled their card game had given him an idea.

'- ...Hello? ♠'

'- I-it's Kortopi, I'll be quick. I know you've left the troupe, but as a former companion I-I'd like to ask you a favor.'

'- It has the merit of being direct... but no. Only the fight with Chrollo interests me and I've negotiated with the exorcist to that end. Don't delude yourself into thinking it was for the brigade. Bye ♠'

'- W-Wait! Just give me the number of the needle-man, the one who passed himself off as you in York-shin, that's all I ask!'

Hisoka had never intended to hang up, Kortopi's direct call had already aroused his curiosity but he wanted details.

'- Oya, oya... ♥ I listening you.'

Kortopi gave him a detailed report of the situation. He told him about Wedy, the notebook, and the fact that the brigade was potentially next on Kira's list. The child couldn't see him, but on the other end of the phone, the room the magician was in was filled with a sinister aura.

She wants to break my toys?

Kortopi's little voice brought Hisoka back into the conversation.

'- Done deal ♦ I'll contact him for you, but don't call me from the blondie's phone anymore.'

Kortopi breathed a sigh of relief when a new realization hit him, 'Will you ask him... if I can pay in installments?'

'- Little boy ♠ Even if he let you pay in a hundred times, you still couldn't afford it. I told you I'll take care of the rest. Just get a phone.'

.....

'- 'Hello, this is Illumi Zoldyck. Apparently, you need my services.'

When he heard his identity, Kortopi felt an icy wind go through his body. To the world, the Zoldyck family is a feared and respected family of assassins, but in the spirit of the brigade, the patriarch is still the one who killed a comrade in the past.

Faced with Kortopi's silence, Illumi spoke in a reassuring tone, 'Listen to me, I know the brigade has a history with father. But he had his mission, and I've mine. I'm calling you to set up the terms of my contract, nothing more.

* Three days later, day of the meeting *

Illumi came out of the bathroom of the hotel dressed in Kortopi's clothes. He looked at his new appearance in the mirror, mumbling to himself, 'You're really tiny...'

The child couldn't help but stare at Illumi with admiration, appreciating his talent for transformation. However, there was still a hint of doubt in his mind. He wondered why an assassin of his rank had accepted such a mission. He would be paid, but much less than an assassination contract. The higher the risk, the more he was paid, Kortopi knew that.

'If you have something to ask me, now is the time.' Illumi glanced in the mirror at the child while readjusting his tunic and pants.

'Why are you giving me a hand?' The question had been burning his lips for hours.

'It's not a helping hand since I'm getting paid.' The murderer replied instantly, in a neutral tone, combing his hair to reveal only one eye.

'I'm pretty sure you had more interesting contracts on hand. You had nothing to gain by accepting this mission.'

Illumi sighed, resignedly, 'Let's say this is my way of thanking you for what you did.' The child looked at his double with even more curiosity.

'Remember the kids you took hostage at York-Shin? One of them is my brother, I saw you when you stepped in to protect him.'

Thank you

He doesn't say.

Edie & Liam

Edie: [Okay, so a school trip moment for Edie for Politics and Society where they've gone down to the local courts to probably watch the most boring cases of people paying parking fines etc lol so have fun with that babe] Liam: got the hots for any criminals? Edie: the dude refusing to pay his child support is just my type Liam: pity I don't have any 👶 I've binned off for you Liam: all I've got going for me is how willing I am to catch a charge Edie: We're gonna snatch one, already decided Edie: daddy issues withstanding, no one here is as interesting as you Liam: when I find one with 👀 like yours Edie: 🥺🥺🥺 Edie: I'll make one for you Liam: would you? Edie: I'd do anything for you Liam: I'm just testing you, baby Edie: Test away Edie: my brain is dribbling out my ears over here Liam: don't lose it, we need it Edie: I need you Edie: what are we doing later to bring back my will to live? Liam: anything you want Edie: I might have something Liam: am I guessing or are you telling? Edie: I don't wanna get your hopes up Edie: but I heard rumours, some kid in my year reckons he's found an empty Edie: and that his brother and his mates are gonna squat in it Edie: but it's in a really fuck off big house in a decent part of town, so idk if it's bullshit or what Edie: but it'd be fun to trash if it isn't Liam: we could kick them out, stay for a while before we do Edie: yeah? Edie: play 🏡 with me Liam: somewhere nice to take the 👶 to Edie: Wonder how many rooms there are Edie: can have a playroom and everything Edie: lucky bastard Liam: do you think there's a garden? Edie: even if it's really in town, they'll still have a perfectly landscaped backyard, patio, room for a swing Liam: sandpit for our buried treasure Edie: and the dogs 🦴s Liam: great idea to blame the dog 💀🦴 Edie: I think so Edie: failing that, the previous owners Edie: clearly left in a hurry because the body count got out of control Liam: won't look suss that all the little pussies from your class who are looking at you now when they shouldn't be are in there Edie: I can think of a thousand reasons they deserve to die Edie: yours is the best though Liam: it's the most important one Edie: I don't want anyone else to look at me Liam: put your jacket on Edie: [stealth selfie 'cos p sure you are not meant to have a phone in court lol] Liam: you'll feel better now Edie: 🤏 Edie: what lesson are you in? Liam: maths Liam: about to stick a pencil through my own eye Edie: save one for me Edie: I love your eyes too Liam: right or left? Edie: left Edie: it's the side the tattoo is on Liam: 👌 Liam: [a selfie that he's edited to get rid of an eye] Edie: my cyclops Edie: still hot Liam: eye patch isn't as useful as a fake leg but I knew you'd be into it Edie: you can stash some in the socket Edie: or a 💎 Edie: can't bury all the treasure Liam: 💍 Edie: 🥰 Liam: when can you get out? Edie: when do you want me? Liam: I wanna find the house & make it nice for you first Edie: [screenshot of this kid in her year going off about it/inviting her with the address etc] Liam: I'll go now Edie: I'll pretend the cases have upset me and ask to be excused when I get the chance Edie: then I can go into town and steal all the stuff we'll need for the house Liam: don't forget the 👶 Edie: I'll look in all the prams for the bluest eyes Liam: has to be a girl though Edie: they're always decked out in all the pink Edie: even if I've left some of my brain on the seats Liam: get some clothes too then Edie: your babies would be so beautiful Edie: not like pink screaming blobs Liam: if she looks like you I don't mind her screaming, can do whatever she wants Edie: I'm in love with you Liam: I know you are Liam: & you know how I feel about you Edie: yeah Edie: you take care of me Liam: I'm trying to Edie: you are Liam: I want this to work Edie: then it will Edie: I'll do whatever you need me to Edie: be what you need Liam: you're perfect Liam: he knows that's why he invited you there Edie: but I'm going to be with you instead Liam: who is he? Edie: dunno, he's barely in any of my classes Edie: Craig something, his brother is called Sean, you've probably seen him at shit, even though he's been out of school time Liam: yeah, previous raves & shit Edie: right Edie: just think he knows I go to that shit too Liam: I just need to broadcast a bit louder that I'm with you now, everywhere Edie: How do you wanna do that? Liam: can't let you out of my sight if it means you're in theirs Edie: I'm not mad about that Edie: I want to be with you all day every day Edie: but I'll stab my eyes out before I look at anyone else Edie: you know that Liam: it's not you I don't trust Edie: if anyone touches me, you'll kill them Edie: and we'll bury them in our sandpit Liam: I test you, they test me Edie: you can handle anyone, you're so above them, everyone Liam: I don't know what I'd do if things changed Edie: things will only change if you want them to Edie: I'm not going anywhere without you Liam: tell your ma you're staying at mine, I don't want her trying to get you back Edie: okay, I will Edie: you're the only one who's allowed to tell me what to do Liam: it'll be home until we don't want it, barely a lie Edie: it doesn't matter Edie: I'm never safer than when I'm with you Liam: you can stay at mine too, any time you want Edie: I can? Liam: yeah Edie: 😄😄😄 Edie: I'm now leaving Edie: very, very devastated about the lady driving without insurance 💔 Liam: who can afford that shit, heartbreaking isn't far off Edie: it's a scam Edie: speaking of, how am I gonna liberate some sleeping bags 🤔🤔 Liam: 🤰 Edie: 💡 Edie: pram would actually be perfect Liam: didn't leave any of your brain behind Edie: don't wanna live that young mum stereotype too hard or I'll be right back in that place and I've only just escaped Liam: you won't Liam: the baby won't need to steal it from you, it'll be smart & talented & beautiful in its own right Edie: and you'll love it Edie: and always look after it too Liam: everyone says there's nothing like it, I'd have to feel something Liam: you know that's all I want Edie: I think even if you don't love your kid Edie: you must still be scared for them Edie: and for your own life, how they'll save it or destroy it Edie: that's something Liam: we could be a family, it's been so long since I had one of them Edie: all we'd need would be us three Liam: if my ma won't let us make my sister's room into one for the baby then we'll find our own place Edie: there's room at mine Edie: well, we could make it Edie: with her track record, that's the one thing she can't not be cool on Liam: mine's not cool on fucking anything, but pretend I didn't say that or you'll never wanna come over Edie: she won't like me Edie: but I'll still come Edie: and I'll try to be more what a ma would like Edie: in front of her anyway Liam: she's up for me having a girlfriend, in her words finally Edie: better not disappoint then Edie: what's she like? Liam: she's a lot but she's been through a lot Liam: maybe that's where all the shit I'm supposed to feel went to Edie: maybe Edie: that's the kind of thing a mum would do Edie: take it all on, for good or bad Liam: she does do that, since both the baby daddys she picked turned out to be losers Edie: same with mine Edie: the only person who helped her out was another chick but she died and then there was another kid to take in so Edie: I'd hate to live like that Liam: you won't Edie: I can't Liam: we've got a plan, yeah? Liam: stay with me Edie: we can be different Edie: we are Edie: don't you feel it, around everyone, all the time Liam: yeah, I do Liam: I used to hate it Edie: it's lonely Edie: was Liam: I wanted to be more like my sister, everyone knew her & liked her Liam: but she got lonely too, in the end Edie: people are selfish Edie: they couldn't deal with her pain, even though it was hers to go through Liam: she used to beg me to stay with her & I did but we weren't in the same place Liam: I couldn't go there Edie: you weren't dying Edie: that's lonely Edie: people waste their time alive being alone and not doing what they want whilst they can and for what Liam: they don't wanna live too hard in case it kills them Edie: at least that way is quick Edie: you don't have time to think about it, or wait in that place Liam: yeah Edie: it's bullshit, all of it Edie: what happened to your sister, your mum, you Edie: we'll live by our own rules and it won't be like that Liam: it was bullshit, everyone acting like there's peace & acceptance & she'd feel super chill Liam: she was angry & lonely & fucking terrified of falling off the edge Liam: exhausted from fighting to stay on Edie: why would there be, or should she be Edie: it isn't okay Edie: kids with everything ahead of them shouldn't fucking die Liam: I should've Liam: before I met you Liam: instead of her Edie: you would've if you could've Edie: the universe doesn't do trades and that's another fucked thing about it Liam: I need you to help me fix it Liam: nothing's how it's supposed to be Edie: Okay Edie: let's do it Liam: you'll really do anything for me Edie: I swear Edie: it's right Edie: it's what I'm meant to do Liam: how do you know? Edie: because I want to Edie: and if the universe is pure random, chaotic chance Edie: then you have to follow the right strings Edie: or it goes wrong, like you said Liam: & this is right Liam: the only way I have Edie: is it? Edie: for you Liam: you're all that's left Liam: I can't do anything else Liam: if this doesn't work, nothing will Edie: then it's settled Liam: you're gonna love this 🏠 Edie: what's it like? Liam: huge Liam: bigger than the one my ma rents for real Edie: no way Edie: can't believe he wasn't lying Edie: let's keep it Liam: baby, there's so much space Liam: haven't hit my head either Edie: 😱 Edie: let's stay forever Edie: we'll deal with any estate agents or potential renters who come Liam: under the floorboards Edie: bet they have loads of unnecessary storage we can use too Edie: wine cellars and pantries Liam: 👶 do have a lot of shit they need though Edie: how many bedrooms are there Liam: 4 Edie: it can have a playroom and so can we Liam: you'll be able to finish that song about me Edie: I'll write whole albums Liam: you can write one for the 👶 every milestone, like a less shit Adele Edie: 😂 Edie: I will Edie: 👶 will feel so loved Liam: I want it for my birthday Edie: have you done the maths? Liam: not in that lesson any more, give me a sec Edie: 🤞 you've not given me an impossible task 😿 Liam: [does the maths even though we don't know when his bday is or what time of year it is rn but pretend we do] Edie: okay Edie: we'll have to get moving Edie: I'll put these condoms back Liam: give them to that lad, he don't need to be having any kids Edie: seriously Edie: his brother already has some he doesn't see, right Edie: gross Liam: I got some 💊 off him that didn't do fuck all Liam: waster in every way Edie: such a loser Liam: we're gonna have to be clean Edie: me at least, when it's cooking Liam: I'm not gonna keep going without you Edie: serious? Liam: you're willing to do anything for me, I can stop taking 💊 for you Edie: I love you Liam: hurry up, you have to see this place Edie: Okay, okay Edie: there's a lot of stuff this baby needs too Liam: I need you here Edie: then I'll run Liam: you can lie down as soon you've made it home Edie: I got us dinner Liam: gutted I don't have a real 💍 in my eye socket Edie: I'll have to use a ring pull Liam: it'll work for now Edie: were your parents married? Liam: nah, but she married my sister's dad Liam: she liked him better all round Edie: that makes sense Edie: same with mine and the others dad Edie: hence she went back to him Liam: dunno what your ma was thinking but in fairness to mine he was less of a twat for a while Edie: can't help who you love Edie: some people are unlucky with that too Liam: yeah Liam: & some people never get to be in love Edie: some people don't let themselves Liam: like we said earlier about not living Edie: yeah Edie: I guess it is scary but what's the alternative Liam: I used to properly feel things you know Edie: before your sister died Liam: if it was there before, it could be again Edie: definitely Edie: I know it Edie: we'll work it out Liam: you'll be happy here Liam: [a pic of the cute shit he's been doing in her absence trying to make this place nice for her] Edie: 🥺🥺 Edie: it says I'm nearly there Liam: I'll come out so I can carry you in 👰 Edie: you know I'd die to make you happy Liam: but that isn't what I want Liam: I'd prefer if you lived forever Edie: then I'll do that Edie: we can have hundreds of babies if that's what you need Edie: or do all the drugs in the world Edie: or go on the longest killing spree Liam: I think that'd take a huge toll on you physically, which I don't want either Liam: I'm not trying to ruin you Edie: you might make me actually cry Liam: stay beautiful, that's what I need Edie: Come get me Liam: [does] Edie: [lowkey laden down with all the essentials be careful boy] Liam: [literally take a sec to imagine them going from room to room planning their lives like adorable nerds] Edie: [this is all so bittersweet we're so mean] Liam: [I'm totally fine and not gonna sob] Edie: [I think if they made it look lived in, it'd make the squatters go away, so then it's just when the landlord/estate agent moment shows up eventually, but I think that would give them a bit of time to do it, even if it's like a week] Liam: [there's just something so pure about this, like it really reminds me how young and broken they are, casually playing pretend like little kids here] Edie: [mhmm, like because she's technically smart everyone expects her to be cynical and realistic but she can't be and is like genuinely if we try hard enough this will all work and be real] Liam: [just reminding me of my pure baby angel Carly in a way I did not expect to be hit by, excuse me] Edie: [when you're more like her and Billie is more like Ali don't mind me] Liam: [I don't know why I love that so much but I do] Edie: [just live your best lives huns, all the ridiculous things you've got for this home moment, also some kind of baby doll 'cos we didn't steal a real child] Liam: [we don't need either of you getting in that much trouble when the fams are gonna be annoyed as is, they should totally film something with it during this week because those hoes] Edie: [creepy, cryptic video in response to where you are like soz for scaring you all half to death it's just our brand] Liam: [and she should practice tattoo designs on it for him like do you like this one or nah] Edie: [definitely covered in biro] Liam: [put your treasure in it's eye socket] Edie: [there's so many sick designs tbh] Liam: [are we saying they still go to school or purely hole up] Edie: [probably hole up 'cos 1 why not but 2 at least you'd know they were together even if not where lol] Liam: [it adds to the vibe of their own little world so I'm here for it] Edie: [like truly why would you go to school, maybe when you're pregnant and we need to win people 'round lmao] Liam: [he wouldn't stalk Rio all week that means #proudofyouboy] Edie: [we're all thrilled] Liam: [actual progress for real because he's been doing it for years and he didn't force Edie to go to school so he could] Edie: [it truly is, when you're just having fun gah] Liam: [proud of you for living real life again boy, speaking of, we know the vibe but is there anything you wanna write down here as defs happening this week other than what we've said?] Edie: [hmm, so let's recap real quick and then we can add anything if we think of it, we've got homey things and he's made it cute and we're playing house so the squatters don't come and wreck it, which is so cute, we're planning our family and life like this is absolutely nbd, doing all the biro tattoos, making our ARG and making a weird/scary vid for the fam lollollol soz, just clearly getting to know each other intensely and bonding and cementing this plan] Liam: [do write some songs gal but I also think they should try whatever drugs they want to that they haven't before they get clean for this pregnancy moment because adds to the bonding that they don't even throw a party they just do it together] Edie: [i vibe that because it isn't about the party of it all, it's the feeling things, so it makes feelsy sense] Liam: [yeah I felt it, and it's so cute that they're doing all these domestic things while sometimes high af] Edie: [like you said, we don't need to be saints 'cos who is even when they have a child but it's very noble that you're like okay let's get it out of the way lol] Liam: [literally ruster are still living lavish and partying with their champagne and coke when they have theirs, tell me I'm wrong] Edie: [mhmm, y'all are very sweet actually it's pure] Liam: [neither of them seem like they would be so sweet and pure and that's why I stan it] Edie: [maybe they can do things they'll do when they have the bub like the park etc so like normal childhood things which he probably didn't get to do much] Liam: [boo how dare you, that's so cute] Edie: [like again, bittersweet but also childlike vibes again and he can enjoy it] Liam: [also I vote he gets on this roof and shouts about his feelings like he said he was gonna on the school roof] Edie: [a mood, and you can be a bit destructive inside, just got to keep it looking respectable so every loser in town doesn't crash your fun] Liam: [OMG but what if that's towards the end of the week and he says he loves her then because he has not like literally shout it from the rooftops but genuinely] Edie: [need that tbh 'cos as in this as she is and not turning back, she's obvs noticed he hasn't like she knows she's still out here trying to make him feel not like oh yes, I have succeeded lol] Liam: [it just is real like when you're pissing about at first but then the feels carry you along] Edie: [oh you two]

chapter thirty-six (across the waters)

November 5, 1988. Rochester, New York.

We're back here, and I don't know if Marcia and Sonia are back yet, so as far as I know their shop is locked and Maya is locked in there. Lars takes the first exit leading us towards their upholstery shop and I'm so nervous that I can hardly keep the crustini sandwiches down all the way. I swallow as we reach the street it's on: I recognize the front stairs leading up to Marcia and Sonia's apartment. The rain is still falling down hard upon the roof over our heads, so hard that I'm amazed I can even hear Spence's voice.

“I say the three of us back here go in there to check it out,” he volunteers.

“Just you guys?” I ask him, peering into the rear view mirror.

“Yeah, man,” Billy offers. “She's lived with us for a while. We know how to put a handle on her.”

We pull up to the curb before the shop, which, to my surprise, is bright lit, even though Marcia and Sonia are still back around Buffalo as far as I know. Lars then yanks on the lever between us. He peers over his shoulder, his wet hair still clinging to the sides of his face and neck.

“Have at it, gentlemen,” he encourages them. Spence climbs out first, followed by Barney and Billy. The door shuts behind them and we watch them bow their heads against the rain as they walk up to the front door.

“Really hope she hasn't done anything horrific in there,” I wonder aloud.

“I doubt it,” he says in a soft voice. “Maya is a writer, and she is a pacifist as a result. She doesn't believe that war or violence or anything like that is the answer. Her mantra is if you want to fight for something, you use your words and your heart. She's a profound writer that way.”

I turn to the sight of him with his forearm on the top of the steering wheel.

“I don't understand, Lars. Why didn't you tell me all of this before?”

“Well—the answer, while twofold, is very simple, actually. Part of it comes from the fact that, like you, I am still trying to figure her out. She fell off the radar for as long as she did and I had my work cut out for me. The other side of it is—and this is the not so simple part, now that I think about it. I haven't really had anyone to speak to about it.”

“Well, yeah, you've told me that before but it's still—it's still—”

“Hard to swallow?”

“Eh—yes, actually.”

“Well, Joey—” He smiles and sticks the tip of his tongue into the corner of his mouth. “Man, I should've known.”

“Should've known what?”

“How eager you are. Like I remember hearing about you the first time, and how quick you learned all the songs Anthrax brought up to you when you guys were recording your first album together. You are what is known as a 'sponge,' in that like a kitchen sponge, you absorb things rather quickly. That is a talent so many do not have because young children are primarily known for being sponges. My wife, meanwhile—as much as I don't want to say this—is a 'stone', blocking anything new and as a result it goes in one ear and out the other. Sponges drink the water, stones let it pass them by.”

I still have that sentiment Maya wrote in that first edition of her zine firmly imprinted on my mind. Maybe this is what she meant by that: she wants to know things like how I wish to know more. She doesn't want to drown because she doesn't want to lose that ability, that ability so reminiscent of being a young child and being so open. Of course. It makes sense.

I stare back out the window to the upholstery shop, at the fluorescent lights on the ceiling on the inside.

Surely, she's got to be in there.

“Joey, when you get the chance,” Lars starts again, still in a soft voice, “look out my window.”

I turn my head to find him peering out his. I follow his gaze to across the street.

“Bunch of buildings?”

“Past that.”

I gaze beyond the little places across the street to the stretch of darkness that is Lake Ontario. Embedded in the lake effect fog is a single line of blue and green neon lights, all of them hovering over the water. Despite the rain, they're bright, as bright as they were in the University District of Seattle. The sight of them is enough to make me shiver.

“Headed your way,” he says in a near whisper, a tone of voice so soft, I have to lean closer to him to hear him. “Headed your way from across the waters.”

“Or so they think,” I answer, my face within a couple of inches from his ear. “So they wish.”

He slowly turns his head to look at me right in the eye. I swallow at the sight of his green eyes piercing into the fabric of my very being. I then pull my head back from him and straighten myself out. His gaze never wavers as I sink back into the seat.

“By the way—you heard this from me, too,” he starts again, this time in a louder voice, “I'm gonna tell you this right now—what happened to Brick was no accident.”

“How so?”

“Think about it. You find something huge about his family that you didn't know about before—shortly thereafter, he gets badly hurt, so much that he ends up in the hospital and Spencer has to give him a bunch of his blood. Maxwell Industries—his last name is Maxwell. Does this make any kind of sense to you?”

“Yeah, and also no.”

“What's hanging you up then?”

“Because I know Brick. He's not involved in any conspiracy or anything like that. That's ridiculous.”

“Oh? Oh, you think it's ridiculous? Was his family well off?”

“Yeah, okay, they were. Still are. Growing up, they were the robust immigrant family from Quebec, but as far as—something like that? Having a huge company that wants to pervade everything? Meh. I don't see it. I don't buy it.”

“From Quebec, you said?”

“Yeah. I have so many memories of going over to his house on the weekends so we could play hockey and his parents always threw French phrases at me. We'd play out in the backyard, where they had this big flower garden on the side of the yard, and—” The memory's coming back to me now. “—oh God, one time I remember we were messing around with our hockey sticks and we were getting a little too close to the begonias, and his mom opened the kitchen window and she was like 'sacre bleu! You keeds! Geet ze 'ell out of zere!'” That gets a laugh out of him.

“Do you remember what his parents did? Like for work?”

“I don't,” I confess. “All I know is they had enough with them to move down from… Sherbrooke, I think it was called, over to—literally, of all places in upstate New York—Oswego. I remember they always had something to eat, and some things just never change.”

“Right? By the way, do you still—have—” He gestures to my jacket and take out the two little crustini sandwiches I had slipped into the interior. He takes them both with both of his index fingers and thumbs.

“Never got the second batch.” He's about to pop one into his mouth when he hesitates.

“You said—her mother is my landlady, right?” he asks me, reluctant. “My landlady down in New Orleans.”

“Candace's mother is your landlady,” I correct him. “Pertaining to Maya, I have no idea.”

He pauses again, the sandwiches in his fingers, and a glimmer in his eye. Suddenly I'm feeling the arrowhead pendant on the inside of my shirt.

“Don't even think about it,” I tell him off.

“Let's pay her a little visit, shall we?” he follows up as soon as the words leave my lips.

“Dammit.”

“What? Just a little visit in the morning. We can have tea.”

“I don't want tea.”

“The shit you say.”

He squints his eyes at me.

“You don't wanna go back to New Orleans, don't you.”

“Not right now. Not with a raging hurricane down there right now, no.”

“I'm sure the storm has long passed, Joey. The sole thing you would perhaps worry about down there the most is a bit of a flood and getting your pants wet.”

“Alright, fine. As long as it gets me back into the restaurant to perform again. I think they like my singing.”

He gapes at me.

“Hang on, hang on, that was you?”

“Well, who else would it be?”

“True. Anyways, tomorrow morning, we shall take the next wormhole down to the French Quarter. But until then, I am bunking with Marcia and Sonia right around the corner. You can join us if you would like, Joey.”

“No, thanks. I'll—sleep in my own bed tonight.”

“Alright. Oh, right, right, I gotta take the three of them home, too—speaking of which, here they come—”

He pops the one in his right hand into his mouth as the back door behind me swings open. Billy and Barney pile in first, followed by Spence.

“Well?” I ask them.

“Well what?” Barney retorts.

“She's not here,” Spence replies.

“Are you shitting me?” Lars demands with his mouth full.

“Nope. Place is pristine, too, like she cleaned everything and straightened everything out.”

“Just like how she did with my apartment…” I mutter under my breath.

“It was weird, too. Walking in there and seeing all the tulles and spools neat and trimmed nicely. Even the threads on the loom in the back were wiped clean. But we searched for her, though. We finally got out of there because the three of us were feeling the heebie jeebies from it being so clean and quiet in there.”

I nibble on my bottom lip as Lars gazes on at me with the other crustini in his fingers.

“Taking you guys home,” he says, pushing down the parking lever.