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authorpocketcow · 5 years

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Pooh Characters as Queer Environmentalists

No seriously. I had a very vivid dream involving all the Winnie The Pooh characters as a group of enthusiastic (and queer) environmentalists who meet once a week to talk about environment things because they’re nerds.

Starring Christopher Robin, Pooh, Tigger, Rabbit, Kanga, Roo, Gopher, Eeyore, and Piglet.

· Christopher Robin

o 33 years old

o Head/leader/founder of the Environmentalist Group

o Really interested in saving the whales

o Chill dude, but kind of an airhead

o Everyone thinks he’s some kinda office worker

o One day someone accidentally found out that he’s the CEO of some green-planet organization and runs this group for fun to see what kinds of ideas he can get and to see what people think of environmentalist efforts

o He always credits people for their ideas, but people assumed that he just worked for the company, not that he ran the damned thing

o A pansexual icon

o Has been to every single pride event that their city has ever had

o Rumour has it he started the pride events

o Wilder rumour has it he threw the first stone at the Stonewall Riots

o Even wilder rumour has it that he’s an immortal vampire who survives on the blood of homophobes

o He won’t deny any of these rumours but has yet to confirm it

o Has a genderqueer partner that literally nobody has met

o Seriously, not even Pooh

· Pooh

o 29 years old

o Really wants to save the bees

o Like, REALLY wants to save the bees

o Vegetarian, but because he doesn’t like meat

o Massive sweet tooth; dentists hate him!

o Ace/Aro

o Loves children, wants to adopt his own someday

o Babysits Roo all the time

o Kanga and him are best friends

o He brings little sweets for Roo every meeting

o Perhaps a little bit of a pothead but he’s not addicted

o He just smokes a joint once in a while to chill out

o A stereotypical “make love not war” hippie

o Nice to everyone all the time

o Cries when someone is mean to him

o Gets uncomfortable when people hit on him

o Christopher’s little brother

o A visual artist; uses lots of colours and sells his art at galleries and markets

· Tigger

o 27 years old

o ADHD

o Like SUPER ADHD

o Gay

o Hit on Pooh once but when Pooh got uncomfy he backed off

o Thought maybe Pooh was uncomfortable with gays and was confused and sad

o When he found out Pooh was Ace/Aro he totally understood

o They’re good friends now

o Really wants to save rainforests and trees

o A freelance writer; his books are elementary school Magic Treehouse shit

o Very much into fantasy shit, his non-children’s series’ lore is always the deepest mindfuck ever, how the hell did he even come up with that

o Bestselling author tho

o Kinda famous tbh but he doesn’t like media attention

o He just thinks everybody should have fun all the time

o Does he vape? Probably. Has anyone ever actually seen him do it? No.

o Does he sleep? Probably. Has anyone ever actually seen him do it? Once.

o Kanga caught him powernapping when she came into one of the first meetings really early, but all she did was put a blanket on him and leave to go to the convenience store or something to stay out for a bit longer so he could rest

o He didn’t know who it was until a bit later he figures it was her since she’s always knitting and it was a very pretty knitted thing

o That’s his momma figure now

· Rabbit

o 25 years old

o Vegan and very in-your-face about it

o “Bugs are important to the ecosystem but boy do I hate them in my garden”

o Scifi enthusiast

o Post-apocalyptic things slightly terrify him because he believes that’s how the world is gonna go

o A bit of a conspiracy theorist

o Genuinely believes the government is vaguely spying on everybody

o Did Bush do 9/11? Who knows… but the moon landing was real, and the earth is round, don’t be dumb

o Just identifies as queer, doesn’t like labels

o A very organized person but when he’s very upset perfectionism scares him bc he thinks he’s not ever gonna be good enough and will mess things up on purpose

o Has a long-distance boyfriend

o A farmer

· Kanga

o 38 years old

o Divorced trans woman

o Has a 5 year old son that she fostered as a baby and adopted when he was 4

o Recycles aggressively

o Calls everyone “dear”

o Uses reusable bags and plastic containers all the time

o Knits a lot, everybody always gets scarves or mitts or hats for Christmas

o Usually in the design of ‘planet earth’, but also makes pride flag designs and takes requests for fave colour schemes

o Vegetarian but not aggressive ab it like Rabbit is

o You know what she is a bit aggressive about? Recycling

o If you throw something that’s recyclable in the garbage in front of her...

o Lord help you

o Last man who did that was never seen again

o Okay that’s a lie, he was seen two weeks later

o But he was advocating for a save the whales organization on the side of the road and wearing all thrift store clothing

o She traumatized him into throwing himself into the environmentalist pit headfirst

o Thinks Gopher is just a big softie; is the only one who is super nice to him all the time (besides her son, and Pooh who is nice to literally everyone)

o Kinda has a thing for the grumpy man but won’t admit it

o She’s like an accountant or something, nobody knows what she does for a living but she seems to be well-off

· Roo

o The adopted 5 year old son

o A little bit spoiled, but not just by Kanga, by everyone in the group

o Loves sitting in on the meetings

o His first sentence at 15 months was “recycle that!”

o Loves blue because of recycle bins

o Literally wears nothing but blue

o Will accept things that are less than 100% blue as long as its more than 50% blue

o Also likes things with pink on them

o Thinks Tigger is the coolest person ever

o Doesn’t understand all of Tigger’s books but reads them anyway

o Except the non-children’s ones of course

o Reads everything he can get his hands on

o Don’t let him get his hands on anything inappropriate for a 5 year old

o Asks a lot of questions

o Everyone adores him

o His mama is his favourite person on the planet but also Mr Tigger is so cool

o He likes Mr Gopher too, he thinks Mr Gopher is great because of “how happy Mama is when he’s around”

· Eeyore

o 23 years old

o Has depression

o Trans boy

o Just really wants friends

o Wants to help the planet

o Is a massive pessimist that thinks the world is doomed

o Very smart boy

o Talks about CO2 emissions and carbon taxes

o A university student studying some kinda chemical engineering

o Very quiet

o Bit of a crush on piglet tbh

o Has a big love for superheroes without powers because he loves the idea of things being solvable through hard work mixed with passion and technology

o Except he doesn’t believe it because his depression makes him super pessimistic

o Also a big tech nerd

· Gopher

o 45 years old

o Landlord of their meeting place

o Grumpy ass old man

o Sometimes people are grumpy right back to him and he’s ok with that

o Actually a soft spot for these weird hippies and joins them sometimes but says its because he wants to make sure they’re not damaging the place (they know that’s a big fat lie but won’t say anything)

o Will fight anyone who mocks them

o Has actually fought someone who mocked them

o Has not told them about said fight

o Especially adores Roo

o Thinks Kanga is a bit of an odd woman but also thinks she’s very pretty

o Repressed bisexual

o He thinks nobody knows he’s bi but eventually when he kinda mentions it he realizes everyone knows

o Specifically, Piglet and Kanga are super supportive

o He definitely actually has a crush on Kanga, who knitted him a bisexual flag scarf once

o He wears it all the time but will vehemently deny that it’s the same scarf when called on it

o Big brawny weirdo

o Was a football player in college and can definitely bench-press everyone

o Works construction now, which is why he’s still in good shape

o Actually a brilliant man, can architect and calculate like nobody’s business

o Will help Piglet with his mathematics homework in exchange for Piglet teaching him more things about the LGBT+ community

o After a while he realizes that perhaps genderfluid fits him well but Piglet is sworn to secrecy

o Has a daughter who is institutionalized for her mental health issues that grew beyond his care

o Piglet reminds him of his daughter and he’s very protective

o That’s why he legit fought that asshole who mocked the “little F****t hippies”

o He was almost arrested for assault on that one actually

o The cop was a buddy of his and 100% believed the “defense of those who can’t defend themselves” explanation that Gopher had

o Got off with a warning and fined for “disturbing the peace” or some mundane BS

· Piglet

o 21 years old

o Gay and demiboy

o Anxiety disorders through the roof

o OCD

o Recycling is a compulsion

o Reducing energy consumption too

o He checks his lights all the time

o He walks or bikes everywhere

o He says it’s to reduce CO2 emissions

o He’s just scared of vehicles

o Has some kinda PTSD but nobody knows the source

o He got into a massive car accident when he was little

o Because his father was angry and speeding

o His mother died in the accident

o But nobody knows this! Someday he will tell them tho

o Today is not that day

o Tomorrow is not that day either

o But someday

o Crush on Eeyore

o Also a university student

o Studying mathematics because it makes sense to him

o Gopher reminds him of his grumpy old gay uncle who died when he was in high school

o Feels like he can actually not double-check or cross-reference anything that Gopher teaches him because he trusts him a lot

o Still will sometimes check everything if he’s having a bad day

o Gopher doesn’t mind, he understands that Piglet has a lot of anxiety issues

o Has an exception in his uni file to be able to take twice as long on his exams and tests and get an extra few days for assignments because he checks every single answer 3 times

o His OCD number is 3, everything is 3, he turns his lights on and off 3 times, etc

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legendarysongphilosopher · 6 years

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That One Girl I Have Searched The World For...

Begining

Let me start from last week basically I met this girl and she is this really kind, astonishing intelligent person (she also likes astronomy) and we share some similar hobbies (one of which is guitar 'this info will be required later.') we had been talking a lot for a week or two but one night she just deactivated her facebook out of the blue and honestly it never occurred to me to ask her for any other means of communication (number, Snapchat, Instagram...etc) so I started going through our old conversations hoping to find some way to reach her and it paid off. Turns out she goes to my old guitar teacher which I used to go to a couple of years ago, so I called him and asked if I could attend a class as a guest he agreed and said I should be there on Wednesday (it was Monday then so I had some time to practice) and with my guitar lessons starting so did me internally screaming because of the pain in my fingertips (I play acoustic guitar which I wouldn’t have touched any time soon if it wasn’t for her).

The Day I Met Her

Heads UP: some of you might find the first paragraph a bit boring, it is just extra information but will provide some insight for the rest of the story.

It was a normal windy day in the begging of June I was home watching Supernatural when someone from Horizon office called me (it is a nonprofitable organization I have been a volunteer at for quite some time now) they told me we need to deliver some packages to some unfortunate families since there was an eid coming out we wanted to help provide food to those who can not.

In Horizon, our projects are usually done as groups of four people do those as a team of four.

So I had to be at the office at Two O'clock but my fear of being late taking the best of me resulted in me sitting in the office at 1:30; it was fine I had city of fallen angels (shadow hunter series by Casandra Clare) with me so I started reading until everyone arrived which was 3:30...

Me being the introvert I am I tried to avoid unnecessary conversations and act as professional as an 18 years old could I didn’t really pay attention to what each individual in our group was doing until we were halfway through our list, and there she was,our photographer taking pictures of the kids and playing with them, asking how their lives were and what they would like to receive for the upcoming eid and this is when I got interested in her...

It was around 5 O’clock we were visiting the last families on our list and I was still developing the courage to start a simple conversation and to be honest I probably wouldn’t if I didn’t hear her talk about her pet cat with another one of our volunteers now I have never had a cat, my mom doesn’t trust me with that responsibility but I this was my window, this was my only chance “I have a white Persian cat” it took me less than a second to realize that once again my mouth worked faster than my brain but since my cousin has two Persian cats I know all there is to know about them and this was the chance I needed so we went on talking about cats and how cute they are.

It was eight, we just got out of the office after handing over the documents by now I knew the rest of the team a bit we had occasional conversations about the families we visited so when we got out of the building I waited for everyone to leave (they were waiting for taxis and I was the only guy in the group so I was just there to make sure everyone will go home safely) but she prefers buses over taxis so I offered to keep her accompanied until the bus station (I might have said my house is near there) even though my house is literally on the opposite side of the city but it was worth it, we had an awesome conversation and before she left I asked if she could send me the pictures she took today (I help with advertisement and raising donation for our organization) so she added me on her facebook and my story or rather my search for her began.

The Wednesday and The Next Saturday

Turns out she goes to my old guitar teacher which I used to go to a couple of years ago, so I called him and asked if I could attend a class as a guest he agreed and said I should be there on Wednesday (it was Monday then so I had some time to practice) and with my guitar lessons starting so did me internally screaming because of the pain in my fingertips (I play acoustic guitar which I wouldn’t have touched any time soon if it wasn’t for her).

I spent the past two days practicing my guitar but it still sounded awful.

My guitar practice was at 1 but I didn’t sleep all night long because I was busy practicing so by the time I got to my class I was a zombie functioning on coffee.. It was four hours of hell, she didn’t show up to that class or the next one nor the other one so at 5 o’clock I just gave up and decided to go home but before that I asked the teacher if it could be possible to schedule me for the same lesson as my friend and he agreed

I went to my music lesson and I waited, for hours... I was drowned in thoughts and scenarios the only time I was paying attention was when somebody opened the door and I had this temporary hope that this is her, she is finally here but that never happened..my teacher calling my name pulled me out of my daydreaming and he added "I have two other guitar students appointed for today but your friend was 3 hours ago, I am sorry but I don't think she is coming” and that sums up that day and the depression which followed, also I am starting to wonder if she has stopped attending her guitar lessons.

One Week Had Passed!

one week has passed since I last heard of her and I had all these different scenarios of what might be going on somewhere in this time period I wondered that she might have simply blocked me but our last conversation was:

Before you judge me I know I know it is a bit lame but she seemed to like it she was somehow fascinated by it so in order to make sure I haven’t done something that made her block me I checked with our mutual friends and it was the same with them as well.. she was just gone.

It was after dinner when I got a call from horizon saying they have this big event planned to help a refugee camp and they needed 15 volunteers despite my endless desire to stay in my room and just drawn my self in paintings I agreed to go and help.

Today!

I was late 'which is way out of character, I am usually 30m early but I was LATE this time' so I am rushing upstairs trying to get there as soon as possible and while I am going up I see two girls coming down, I didn't pay attention; I wanted nothing but to lay down in my bed and think so despite it being early in the morning I was already grumpy but deep down in my heart something was whispering “that was her”

By the time I got upstairs every other team was on their way (including the 2 girls I just saw)

we waited a bit longer for my best friend to show up so our team would be complete too, it was a half an hour drive so I told him about what happened in the morning and when we arrived at the camp we grouped up with rest of the volunteers and two of my best friends are already there and we pretty much spent the entire day arguing rather it is her or not.

They were identical, the same kind and lovely face with the beautiful smile the exact characteristics but with one major difference she has green eyes and I don’t blame my friend for not realizing the difference they never saw Darya and what they knew of her was what I had described.

It wasn’t until after lunchtime that they convinced me to go talk to her “MEER you have been looking for her EVERYWHERE and now that she is here you are just being shy and hiding in a corner???” shouted aros while glaring toward her, to be honest even though the first thing I noticed about Darya was her sky blue eyes and this girl clearly lacked those, aros encouraged me into talking to the girl and a part of me wanted to know who she was and if she was related with Darya or not.

She was busy taking pictures of a kid sitting on one of our packages, it was a boy probably 2 or 3 and he was playful so I didn’t really blame her for not noticing me the first time I called her (yes she was a photographer too...), "you look like Darya but I know for a fact Darya had blue eyes and your are green but your tone, your face, the way you behave resemble her a lot... my friends insist that you are Darya and at this point I am not sure anymore either..” she looked at the picture she had taken and then at me she said “Hello” while smiling and then added “I am her sister actually” I explained that I am one of her friends and that I am worried a bit considering that she has deactivated her social media and none of our mutual friends have any news of her; she surprised me by saying “ I know who you are, Darya told me about you. You have a cat right?” “uhum, yeah I do!” I might have sounded weird but I wasn’t even paying attention to the conversation anymore I was just thinking what else she might have told her about me and why would she tell her about me.

At the end of the event when we got back to the office I talked to her again and she assured me Darya was fine and the reason she wasn’t with us today is that she had to go to university I asked her if there was a way for me to get in touch with her she hesitated for a moment but handed me her phone and said “write what you want in the notepad, I will show it to her...

any logical person would have written something nice and reasonable or something that would attract their attention, me?

I wrote my number, my snapchat, and a simple sentence:

“wanna join the earth is a cat society?” with a smiley face next to it and it wasn’t until I got home and told my friend about it that I realized how badly I had messed up...

To Be Continued If Anything New Happens...

ALSO shoutout to kaylee for encouraging me to post this.. I made a new Tumblr account for this since I couldn’t remember anything about my old one..

#story #long reads #romance #cute #girlfriend #blog #reading #diary

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