One thing mutuals, both in and out of this site should probably know about me:
I'm deathly afraid of initiating any and all conversations. So, don't take it personally, ever. Most of you with art on here are pretty much celebrities in my eyes, and talking to me seems like a privilege you give me.
So I will 99.99999999% not start a conversation because I'm cold or rude. I'm probably terrified of you in a "omg, you're too cool for me" way.
i always see people with commissions and stuff open and i'm like "i have some money! i love your art! please draw my characters!" but then i Do Not because i'm like "what if they think my characters are cringe. what if they hate me. what if they don't actually want commissions."
I was at this life skill/team building camp with my classmates. This guy was giving us some generic motivational speech and said the words "No one wakes up in the morning thinking something bad is going to happen to them that day."
Mate, I have an anxiety disorder. This is literally my life. I couldn't go shopping for years because I was so terrified that if I said the wrong thing the cashier would leap over the counter and stab me in the face.
I had an anxiety attack on this very trip. First one actually. Yeah, they're not pleasant.
Feeling selfish for making friends is so wacky. "I think you're awesome and want to see you more because you make me happy so I'm going to be nice to you and talk to you and get to know you oh gosh I'm being so selfish and manipulative"
A while back I said I would write some stuff, but as of now I've decided to go back on that. Deleted the original posts and some of the writing I already did (just simply didn't like it). Not against future writing for fandom stuff in general, but writing up plans like that just stresses me out and I don't tend to deliver on them. Sorry.
when your group chat is going crazy with messages so you join in with a related joke then everyone stops replying and you instantly blame yourself for the silence-
Thinkin bout how I’m goin to anime expo in LA next month, and how last year when I went, literally 10 minutes in I met three people that were tiktok famous and had no idea who tf they were cause I didn’t have tiktok and now I follow two of them and if I see them I’ll be freaking out internally but if I end up speaking to them I’ll just say “hey I saw y’all last year for like five minutes what’s up” but who knows if my anxiety will even let me
I want to be free, I want to be shameless, but overthinking doesn't let me be. It's hindering my true potential of being an absolutely shameless heathen.