neil looking in the mirror and seeing a four on his cheek written from the same hand that carved him up like a thanksgiving turkey. kevin reminded of every time riko made him feel less than, made him cower and hold back his own talent because he would always be number two. seeing that '2' in his reflection in riko's handwriting and it being no different than riko standing right there next to him, snarling in his ear.
the relief kevin must have felt the first time he looked at himself after getting the queen and realizing that he was free. he was free. the grief kevin must have felt the first time he looked at himself after riko's death and realized he had nothing left of his brother, that he could no longer conjure the phantom feeling of the heel of riko's palm on the side of his face, fingers holding the marker with the same cocky confidence he held an exy racket and deemed kevin second best. and it's riko's handwriting—riko's claim—on kevin, neil and jean's faces but it's kevin's on riko's. and that means something. and maybe no one will ever get it but it will always mean something to kevin that riko was buried with that piece of him, forever.
the feeling of sick incompetency andrew feels when he sees that riko got his hands on neil, too. mocking him in black ink 'riko was here' and it's so personal andrew sees red. it's derogatory, it's intimate. it gets under his skin and messes with his head because he promised neil. he promised.
the understanding between neil and kevin. "i know what he's like," kevin says and neil knows. they see riko's scrawl on each other's cheeks and they're the same. it's personal, it's intimate, it's something they can't explain with words but neil will carry other scars and kevin will let riko go but riko's corpse will rot with kevin's '1' on his cheek and that's all he'll ever be.
Laura: Talks about how she joked with others in Gdansk how Aleksi would react if he would read fanfiction and find out that he is always the one getting hurt (“yes yes shiping with my bandmates alright BUT WHY DO YOU ALL WANT TO HURT ME??”)
Jess: writes this: ".... now i'm imagining aleksi going up to olli at 3am with a sad face, phone in hand, going "you always go on cute dates with tommi, why do they always just hurt me :(“ and this: “aleksi why are you reading fanfic of yourself going on dates? are you feeling lonely? should we go on a friend date? oh shit--" *_olli grabbing a bat to chase away the feelings he's realising he has_*”
Me: Is board at work and writes this:
Aleksi throws away the iPad angrily and lets out a frustrated huff. Olli, his roommate for the night, looks up from his poetry book. "What's up, Ale?" he asks curiously.
"Niko sent me another fanfiction and again I am the one getting hurt. Why always me?? Joel gets cuddles, Niko is the Boss, Joonas gets lucky and you and Tommi always go on cute dates. Why am I always the one with a tragic backstory and a broken heart? Why can't I be the one who gets to go on a cute date with you?"
"Do you want to?"
Aleksi freezes. Fuck. Did he really say that last part out loud? Did he really utter out his biggest wish, his deepest secret that he swore he would take with him to the grave, out loud? For the whole world to hear? And on top of that right in front of the person he crushes on for God knows how long.
His mind is going a million miles per second while the rest of his body is in shock and frozen.
Suddenly he feels a warm hand on his body and a finger under his chin. Aleksi looks up and sees that it is Olli, who has put down his book on the couch and has come over to sit down in front of him on the bed. Their eyes meet and Aleksi can see a hint of fear in Ollis' eyes. But also hope. And love?
"Do you want to?" Olli repeats his question. "Do you want to go on a date with me? I promise it will be just like in the movies. Or like in the fanfictions."
"Ye-ye-yes" Aleksi stammels. His mouth suddenly dry. His heart beating fast and praying that this was real and not a dream or some kind of sick joke. "Do you want to?" he asks Olli to make sure his friend was really meaning it and not offering it out of pity.
Instead of answering, Olli leans forward and softly presses his lips on Aleksis. "Does that answer your question?”
Hope you like it. I am sorry your week wasn’t the best🥺🥺. You are such a kind and wonderful and intelligent person. You deserve so much better🫂❤️🩹. May this little snipped from Delulu Land be a warm and soft blanket to tuck you in and make you forget your worries for a second🩷
omg what is thiiiiiiiiiiss 🥺 Aleksi you silly silly boy, Olli will take you on a date that is SO much better than all those fanfics in which you get hurt or cheat on your gf oops sorry
"Hey! I’m Chilli! I’m not in this competition, but I figured I’d make some rounds to wish you luck and bring some water and snacks for you guys! Hope you enjoy, and good luck!"
I think I've said it before, and if not I'm gonna say it again? Even with the couple chapters I've played of RDR2, I can see your voice for Arthur is. Chef's kiss. On point. Fantastic. I can hear the dialogue you write for him in my head. What an awesome blog and ty for sharing him with all of us, for real
WHAT . okay oh my goodness . i got this in the middle of my workday , and i saw it , and i read it over lunch , and this really made the rest of my afternoon a lot brighter . the best compliment i think i can ever receive , especially when it comes to arthur who has such a specific accent that i'm keen to master and a specific way of giving his thoughts that i study every day is that someone can hear his voice in my writing . that goes for any muse of course . but with arthur , that compliment holds a special place in my heart . that's all i want , is to make sure his dialogue is true to his character . i'm so bad at taking compliments but thank you thank you thank you !!! he is forever deepening in my mind and growing his roots into my heart . so . that is such an awesome compliment to receive . thank you for sending me this !!!
i actually can’t get over your art you’re so talented it blows my mind !!! your latest drawing of them in their entrance looks and planes little tail with the curve when she’s hugging nymph 🥹 .
again i can’t dote over your art enough pls keep sharing i love them all so much !!! 🧡
HII i must've missed this when i was on my phone, THANK YOU SO SO SOO MUCH 🥺💞
OF COURSE i will continue to share.. after seeing all the love from everyone i am energized more than ever! and it definitely won't be the last time we get to see kitty jane hehe _(:з)∠)_
EEEEEEEK OMG THIS IS SOOOO SO PERFECT I LOVE YOU THANK YOU SOOO SO VERY MUCH EEEEEE KICKING AND SCREAMING AND GIGGLING THANK YOU THANK YOU HE LOOKS SOOOO SO CUTE ASFOEJAIAOSKW happy valentine's day!!!!!!
hi my beloved <3 standing on the door of ur bedroom while i hold questions 2, 19 and 22 in my hands as an offering <3
hi laurieeee my dear... i'm shyly opening my bedroom door... handing you my answers on a folded up piece of notebook paper where i've dotted all the i's with hearts xoxo
2. talk about a notable time a narrative or character has looked you dead in the eyes and said “fuck your plan, here’s what we’re actually doing.”
i'm actually not a really thorough planner so this doesn't happen too often but the big one i remember is how quickly jegulus got together in ibhfts... originally they were supposed to kiss and be fighting for at least an entire chapter before getting together but then regulus saw james reading the little prince and was like. I Have To Kiss Him and i was like... after that huge fit you just threw over him kissing you?? and he was like Yes. and at that point there was nothing i could do to stop him
19. what are some books or authors that influenced your style the most?
ooh!! donna tartt was a pretty formative writer for me tbh cliche i know what can i say i read tsh when i was 15 and imprinted on it. more recent influences include tamsyn muir (author of the locked tomb trilogy, which i can't recommend enough), james baldwin, and tepre (this author's prose is terrifyingly evocative i can only hope to reach their levels)
22. describe your writing process from scratch to finish.
okay this is a hard one umm
1) i have the idea
2) i think about it constantly while trying to resist the urge to write it bc i know it'll take up all my focus
3) i end up writing it
4) i revise whole scenes while keeping in mind the mood i wanted to create + any places where i can improve the flow or pacing
5) i "do" a "line edit" (meaning i read through until i say fuck it and decide the typos add character)
Hi hun, List five things that make you happy, then put this in the ask box of the last ten people who reblogged something from you. Spread the positivity! 💙🩵💙
AHHHHH cutie !!
my little brother
helping my uncle around the family farm (the last of our cows calved this week! super exciting)
sunshiney weather (v. rare in my country 🥹)
spending time with my mam, because i love her more than anything
watching/reading/consuming anything about my hyperfixations lmao