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lingthusiasm · 4 months

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Lingthusiasm Episode 87: If I were an irrealis episode

Language lets us talk about things that aren't, strictly speaking, entirely real. Sometimes that's an imaginative object (is a toy sword a real sword? how about Excalibur?). Other times, it's a hypothetical situation (such as "if it rains, we'll cancel the picnic" - but neither the picnic nor the rain have happened yet. And they might never happen. But also they might!). Languages have lots of different ways of talking about different kinds of speculative events, and together they're called the irrealis.

In this episode, your hosts Gretchen McCulloch and Lauren Gawne get enthusiastic about some of our favourite examples under the irrealis umbrella. We talk about various things that we can mean by "reality", such as how existing fictional concepts, like goblins playing Macbeth, differ from newly-constructed fictions, like our new creature the Frenumblinger. We also talk about hypothetical statements using "if" (including the delightfully-named "biscuit conditionals), and using the "if I were a rich man" (Fiddler on the Roof) to "if I was a rich girl" (Gwen Stefani) continuum to track the evolution of the English subjunctive. Finally, a few of our favourite additional types of irrealis categories: the hortative, used to urge or exhort (let's go!), the optative, to express wishes and hopes (if only...), the dubitative, for when you doubt something, and the desiderative (I wish...).

Read the transcript here.

Announcements:

Thank you to everyone who shared Lingthusiasm with a friend or on social media for our seventh anniversary! It was great to see what you love about Lingthusiasm and which episodes you chose to share. We hope you enjoyed the warm fuzzies!

In this month’s bonus episode, Gretchen gets enthusiastic about swearing (including rude gestures) in fiction with science fiction and fantasy authors Jo Walton and Ada Palmer, authors of the Thessaly books and Terra Ignota series, both super interesting series we've ling-nerded out about before on the show. We talk about invented swear words like "frak" and "frell", sweary lexical gaps (why don't we swear with "toe jam!"), and interpreting the nuances of regional swear words like "bloody" in fiction.

Join us on Patreon now to get access to this and 80+ other bonus episodes! You’ll also get access to the Lingthusiasm Discord server where you can chat with other language nerds.

Here are the links mentioned in the episode:

'Irrealis' entry on Wikipedia

'How do you get someone to care about Shakespeare? Two words: Goblin Macbeth' on CBC

xkcd comic 'Conditionals'

'Pedantic about biscuit conditionals' post on Language Log

'The pragmatics of biscuit conditionals' by Michael Franke

Lingthusiasm episode 'This time it gets tense - The grammar of time'

'Realis and Irrealis: Forms and concepts of the grammaticalisation of reality' by Jennifer R. Elliott

'If all the raindrops' on YouTube

'If I Were a Rich Man (song)' entry on Wikipedia

'Rich Girl (Gwen Stefani song)' entry on Wikipedia

'Louchie Lou & Michie One' entry on Wikipedia

'Louchie Lou & Michie One - Rich Girl' on YouTube

'Semi-Toned - Rich Girl (acapella)' on YouTube

'Subjunctive mood' entry on Wikipedia

'Céline Dion - Pour que tu m'aimes encore' on YouTube

WALS entry for 'Feature 73A: The Optative'

Lingthusiasm bonus episode 'How we make Lingthusiasm transcripts - Interview with Sarah Dopierala'

Lingthusiasm episode 'Listen to the imperatives episode'

'Dubitative' entry on Wikipedia

'A grammatical overview of Yolmo (Tibeto-Burman)' entry on WikiJournal of Humanities

You can listen to this episode via Lingthusiasm.com, Soundcloud, RSS, Apple Podcasts/iTunes, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can also download an mp3 via the Soundcloud page for offline listening.

To receive an email whenever a new episode drops, sign up for the Lingthusiasm mailing list.

You can help keep Lingthusiasm ad-free, get access to bonus content, and more perks by supporting us on Patreon.

Lingthusiasm is on Bluesky, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Mastodon, and Tumblr. Email us at contact [at] lingthusiasm [dot] com

Gretchen is on Bluesky as @GretchenMcC and blogs at All Things Linguistic.

Lauren is on Bluesky as @superlinguo and blogs at Superlinguo.

Lingthusiasm is created by Gretchen McCulloch and Lauren Gawne. Our senior producer is Claire Gawne, our production editor is Sarah Dopierala, our production assistant is Martha Tsutsui Billins, and our editorial assistant is Jon Kruk. Our music is ‘Ancient City’ by The Triangles.

This episode of Lingthusiasm is made available under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial Share Alike license (CC 4.0 BY-NC-SA).

#language #linguistics #lingthusiasm #episode 87 #podcasts #episodes #irrealis #morphology #syntax #semantics #mood #if I was a rich girl #if I were a rich man #SoundCloud

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mysterious-moonstruck-musings · 8 months

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Destiny & Deliverance: Chapter 18

Destiny & Deliverance Masterlist ||| Dieter Bravo X OFC Smut & Sensitive Topic Warning - Minors DNI New as of 8/25/2023

SUPPORT YOUR CREATORS. REBLOGGING & COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED.

Series Rating: Explicit (18+)

Series Summary: Natalia Cohen is experiencing major life changes, beginning with leaving an emotionally abusive husband. She is learning how to navigate life on her own while dealing with high functioning anxiety, depression, and mild PTSD. Everything is looking up for her. She is a highly respected consultant for a major LA firm, has her best friend, Lauren, by her side, and is on her path to healing. Everything changes when she meets a handsome and broken stranger on a work trip. He turns out to be a well-known actor, with a heart-breaking past. They quickly develop a connection that will forever alter their lives.

Warnings: Themes dealing with mental health, emotional trauma, alcohol use, and discussions about suicide. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. This will be a slow burn type of story. Read at your own risk.

Chapter Quote: "You are enough."

A/N: This chapter contains discussions about suicide. It also contains a little angst, light smut, and fluff. More after the jump.

Since we don't get a POV from Dieter in this series, I thought it might be nice to pick a few songs from the master playlist to share. I will probably start doing this for the remaining chapters so that we can get inside his head a little bit. At this point, I feel like the entire No Name Face album by Lifehouse is Dieter's life. So, you will get a lot of songs from that, but I'll throw in some others too. 😊

Before you start reading, I recommend having some tissue and chocolate on hand. It gets heavy toward the end. It does get a little graphic and the topic of death is discussed. Consider that a final warning. Lastly, a quick thank you to @for-a-longlongtime for being my beta on this chapter. It was nice to have early feedback given the sensitive nature of the topics covered in this one. Enough rambling from me. Happy reading.

Dieter and I got up early the next morning to start preparing for our trip. He left to go get some things from his house while I packed. I was a little flustered because I didn’t know where we were going or what we were doing. When I asked him what to bring, he gave me a mischievous grin before telling me to pack for any possible situation. That only annoyed me further. I ended up packing two bags worth of stuff and I didn’t care how excessive it was. That’s what he got for not telling me things.

When he returned later in the morning, he brought in a duffle bag that he had packed and added his phone charger and clothing items that he kept at my house. By the way he moved, I could tell that his mood had started to shift over the past couple of hours. He seemed increasingly anxious and more fidgety than usual. I wasn't sure what was prompting the change - whether it was the idea of leaving town or the change in routine.

We left around midday. Dieter had let me know that we had nearly a seven-hour drive to get to wherever it was we were going. I texted Lauren to let her know we would be out of town for a few days. Unsurprisingly, she started rapidly firing off questions about the trip that I didn’t have answers to. She got more annoyed with every “I don’t know” response I sent. She finally gave up and told me to have fun.

Dieter took a minute to call Gabby, because apparently cell service wasn’t the greatest at our destination. When she answered, he was quick to let her know she was on speaker phone and that I was with him in the car, which seemed odd to me. He told her we were on our way to Sonoma, and she fell quiet for a moment. I watched the frown that fell over his face as he waited for a response. She inhaled sharply before she finally spoke.

“Good. I’m happy to hear you guys are gonna spend some time away together. Especially there. I think it's a good thing.”

“Yeah, I agree. I think it’s a good idea. I’ll, ugh, I’ll talk to you when we get back.”

There was an odd tone to both of their voices, which almost made me feel like they were talking in code. They said their goodbyes shortly after that.

The long drive seemed to be making Dieter restless. He was getting more and more keyed up with every mile that passed. He seemed very fidgety and on edge. When it got close to dinner time, we pulled off at a small diner that was fairly empty. He seemed distracted throughout the meal, occasionally staring off into the distance at nothing. I didn’t mention anything about it, but it definitely had my attention. We ate quickly and left without him being noticed by anyone, thankfully. I had hoped the stop would help him relax some, but that didn’t seem to be the case. As soon as we got back on the road, I grabbed his right hand and held it in both of mine, gently rubbing it the entire time. I tried to keep a light conversation going to distract him, which seemed to help some.

Around 9:30 pm, Dieter informed me that we were almost at our destination. As we turned down a small road, I started to notice large open fields full of rows of something I couldn’t make out in the darkness. We eventually came to a large Spanish Colonial style house. It was an older home, but still beautiful. Some parts of the aged and discolored stone walls were covered in vines that crept all the way to the top. Everywhere you looked you were met with brightly colored plants and foliage. I still had no clue where we were.

Dieter parked the car out front. When we exited the vehicle, we were met by two men and a woman. Dieter passed his keys off to the younger of the two men, who went to get our bags out of the car. The other two met us in front of the large wooden entry doors.

“Hola Lucia, Mateo.” Dieter gave the man a nod as Lucia came in for a tight hug. She seemed very excited to see him and somewhat emotional. They had a quick conversation in Spanish that I couldn’t follow. I heard Dieter mention my name as he gestured toward me. Lucia came over to hug me, which took me by surprise.

As she pulled away, her eyes sparkled, and she gave me a genuine smile.

“I’m so happy to meet you. It’s been too long since he’s been here. It’s wonderful to see you both.”

Lucia was a petite older woman with graying hair and kind eyes. She spoke with a slight Spanish accent. She seemed very sweet. She quickly introduced me to her husband, Mateo, who had the same distinguished accent. He seemed a little gruff, but nice. He was on the taller side and fit for someone his age. He had a wonderful head full of thick dark hair. I imagined he was probably quite the looker in his younger years.

We all walked in through the big wooden doors. On the other side was a courtyard full of plants and greenery. There was a large two-tiered fountain in the center. Lucia turned to let us know the master suite had been prepared for us and the kitchen was stocked if we needed anything to snack on. Then, they said their goodbyes and headed in for the night. They disappeared off to the left and entered what looked like a small apartment area attached to the main home. I turned to Dieter with a questioning look on my face. I still had no idea what was going on.

“Lucia and Mateo are the caretakers for this place. They live in the staff apartment over there with their grandson, Jose.”

I nodded. That didn’t really clear anything up for me.

“So, what is this place exactly?”

“It’s a vineyard.” I nodded my head, still not fully understanding how Dieter fit into this equation. He seemed hesitant to offer any further details, so I didn’t prod.

We walked toward the main entrance of the house, seeing the younger gentleman, who I assumed was Jose, exit and wish us a good evening.

The inside of the house was beautiful. It had an old-world charm to it. Antique furnishings could be seen everywhere you looked. The walls and ceiling were a soft cream color. Dark wooden beams accented the ceiling. All the doors were made of the same dark wood as were the door trim and baseboards. The floor was made with what appeared to be dark brick stones. There was a large bronze chandelier that hung over the dark wooden entryway table. In the center of the table sat a large vase full of white roses.

I slowly followed behind Dieter as he made his way toward the stairwell, stopping ever so often to look at different things. I was drawn to a small accent table at the foot of the stairs that had a lot of old framed photos sitting on it. They were all black and white and appeared to have been taken in this house based on the familiar furnishings in the background. A picture of a woman holding a small boy caught my eye. I don’t know why, but I picked it up for a closer look.

“Do you know who these people are?”

“Previous owners of this place,” he said from behind me.

I examined the picture further. The woman was smiling, but something in her eyes looked sad. It was stirring some sort of emotion in me that I couldn’t place.

“She’s beautiful,” I mumbled quietly.

Dieter grabbed my free hand as he cleared his throat.

“How about we head up and get ready for bed. We’re gonna have a long day tomorrow.”

I set the picture back down and nodded. We made our way upstairs. Our room was huge. It had a sitting area around a fireplace. There were large glass doors that opened out onto a terrace. The doors were framed with sheer flowy curtains, layered with thicker darker colored ones to block the sunlight. A large four poster king bed sat opposite of the sitting area. The dark wood of the frame had intricate carvings that matched the style of the house. A matching wardrobe set off to one side. One of the doors was open, revealing two fluffy robes and a basket full of travel sized items that we might need for our stay. Our bags had been placed on the floor next to the wardrobe.

“This place is amazing,” I said as I turned to Dieter. I realized he had been watching me take everything in with a smirk on his face.

He walked over to me and wrapped one arm around my waist, while putting the other hand on my cheek. He pulled me tightly against him, briefly rubbing his nose against mine before kissing me gently. I deepened the kiss, but he pulled away soon after, staring into my eyes. His anxiety was still clear, even though he began to relax into our embrace. I struggled to read the emotion on his face. I could tell he was thinking about something as he started to chew at his lip, but he didn’t say anything. He gave me another quick kiss before saying we should get ready for bed.

I dug through my bag for my nightshirt. It was the same racerback tank sleep shirt I had worn in New York the night we had watched the movie. My mind briefly wandered back to that night. That was the night both of our lives got upturned by each other. Now here we were. After grabbing my toothbrush and toothpaste from my luggage, I went to the bathroom.

The bathroom was in the same style as the rest of the house. All stone and dark wood. An old clawfoot bathtub sat in one corner. There was a glass walk-in shower in the other. The bathroom had clearly been updated at some point, but it still captured the old world charm the rest of the house had. I absolutely loved it.

Once I was down to brushing my teeth, I opened the door for Dieter. He had already changed into his shorts by the time he came in with his toothbrush. I noticed his eyes roaming over my bare skin, but he behaved himself, for the most part. He definitely had some wandering hands once we snuggled into bed, but eventually he settled down and dozed off after we tangled ourselves up together. I wasn’t far behind him.

The following morning, I was awakened by Dieter gently brushing my hair off my face. When my eyes fluttered open, he was propped up on his elbow staring at me with a hint of a smile on his face. I gave him a playful look before I turned over on my back, raising my arms above my head and pointing my toes for a full body stretch. His eyes very obviously roamed over my body as I did so. He reached over and put his hand around my midsection, pulling me in closer to bury his face in the crook of my neck.

“Good morning, mi estrella,” he huskily mumbled into my neck. The vibration from his voice and heat from his breath caused goosebumps to ripple right under my skin. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he moved up to kiss me deeply. His hand slowly moved up my thigh, dipping under my night shirt to rest on the bare skin of my waist. But before it could go any further, we were interrupted by a landline phone ringing next to the bed. He pulled away, resting his forehead against mine for a moment as he sighed heavily. Then he moved to answer the phone, speaking in Spanish as he did so. I heard him say Lucia’s name, possibly telling her good morning. He hung up and turned to me with an amused look on his face.

“You ready to get the day started?”

“That depends, what’s on the agenda?” I replied, slightly bemused. He flashed a toothy smile at me.

“First, breakfast. It’s waiting for us outside.”

He got out of bed and threw a robe at me to put on. He pulled back the curtains and opened the glass doors that led out to the terrace. Sure enough, breakfast was set up on a table for us.

I smirked, “Damn, I could get used to this.”

I threw on the robe and joined him outside to eat.

“Seriously, what’s on the agenda for today?”

“Have you ever ridden a horse?” He asked me with a dimpled grin. I raised an eyebrow at him.

“Yes, but it’s been a while. Why?”

“I thought we could take a ride around the grounds. It’s the best way to travel around here.” He winked at me.

I narrowed my eyes at him, “Well, I’m glad I did pack for every possible scenario. Horses were not on my bingo card though. If I would’ve known, I could’ve brought my riding crop, but I’m not sure it's made to be used on horses.” Dieter’s eyes widened and he nearly choked on the food he was chewing. I laughed.

“Are you making dirty jokes right now?” He looked a little shocked as I continued to chuckle.

“Yes. I do that sometimes.” He gave me a big smile as he shook his head at me.

We finished eating, then got dressed. Luckily, I had brought some jeans and outdoor shoes to wear. We made our way out back to a small horse stable. I watched as he saddled up two horses for us. I was surprised at how well he knew his way around the place and how good he was with the horses. I didn’t know this was a skill he had. It was kind of hot. The thought of him in a cowboy hat was suddenly doing things to me. He caught me staring at him, with what I’m sure was an inappropriate look on my face. He raised a brow at me with a flirty look on his face. That wasn’t helping my situation.

“You see something you like ma’am?” I huffed at him as I rolled my eyes. Turning away to look around at my surroundings. “Yes, the view here is amazing”. I could hear him chuckling behind me. He knew what he was doing.

Once he got the horses ready, we spent the entire morning riding across the grounds. The property was expansive and beautiful. There were rows of vines that seemed to go on for miles. On the north side of the property was a wooded area with trails that we rode on for a while. The trail opened to a small creek. It was very peaceful there.

As we made our way around, Dieter would point things out and explain how it related to viticulture, or the cultivation of grapevines. Anything from topographical features to the different blocks of soil types and how those things affected vine growth. I was honestly a little shocked he knew so much on the topic.

Overall, his mood seemed good throughout the morning. However, I could sense small shifts during moments of silence. I could tell he had something on his mind the whole time, even when he was engaged in conversation. He seemed to move between moments of melancholy and anxiety.

Once we realized it was getting close to lunch time, we headed back toward the house. He said we would be having a picnic on the hillside, but we needed to pick up the food from Lucia. I wondered how much of this trip he had planned himself and how much was Lucia. I couldn’t tell, but I loved how much thought had gone into it. If he hadn't already owned my body and soul, this trip definitely would have solidified things between us. I could feel the connection between us getting stronger just by being here together. Even though we hadn’t discussed it yet, it felt like his feelings were in the same place as mine at this point.

We made a quick stop at the house to grab our lunch and a large picnic blanket. Dieter quickly packed everything away in a saddle bag before we headed off to whatever spot he had picked out. He led me to a hilltop on the west side of the property that had an amazing view of all the surroundings. You could see the house, the fields, and the periphery of the wooded area. It was a perfect spot. As we ate, he continued to tell me about things on the property and the challenges of the wine making process. It was kind of adorable, as talking about it caused a small spark of excitement in his eyes.

While he spoke, I noticed a stone arch with steps near the edge of the wooded area. I could vaguely make out what looked like a lattice style fence under the growth out to the sides of it. I hadn't noticed it before since we didn’t ride down that far.

“What’s that over there?” I asked him. He was quiet for a minute. I noticed his brows knitted together.

“It’s the family cemetery.”

“Oh.” I replied solemnly. The question seemed to momentarily shift his mood again, but it didn’t last long. He changed the subject by pulling out a bottle of wine. He was about to pour it into a glass, but I took it from him and drank from the bottle. He gave me a surprised look.

“Glasses aren’t necessary,” I said with a chuckle, then passed him the bottle. We drank a good deal of it as we sat chatting. Both of us were clearly becoming more relaxed. The chatting somehow turned into a heated make out session, until he abruptly peeled himself away from me.

“I need to calm down before we both end up naked. They can probably see us up here.”

I laughed before giving him one last chaste kiss on the lips. He sat propped up on one arm, staring down at me for some time. Using his other hand to brush my hair back or to drape around my midsection. Occasionally bending to give me a brief kiss in varying places on my face. We sat in silence like that for a while. Just taking each other in and being together. It was strangely peaceful and intimate. The quiet moment ended when one of the horses wandered over and started nibbling at the leftover fruit, which sent us into a fit of laughter as Dieter tried to take it away from the horse, who was not having it. We took that as our cue to get going.

We spent several more hours riding and walking around in the fields. We were both filthy before all was said and done. We had a good time though and I had learned a lot from him. I was strangely very much into the topic of viticulture all of a sudden.

We made our way back to the stables. I went ahead to the house to shower and get ready for dinner while Dieter took care of the horses. Once he was finished, he too came to shower while I was getting dressed. We decided to be a little extra and dress up for the occasion. I wore a burgundy sundress and put my hair up in a messy curly updo. Dieter wore some dark slacks with a white button up dress shirt. He rolled up the sleeves and left the top few buttons open. The way the shirt fit across his shoulders and around his arms was distracting. All I could think about was ripping it off him. He caught me staring more than once and gave me a flirty smile every single time.

Once we were ready, he grabbed my hand and led me downstairs. Lucia had set up dinner for us on the patio outside of the sitting room. There was a large tree in the middle that had lit antique chandeliers in varying sizes hanging from it. The table was set beautifully with a tablecloth, a small vase of white roses, and a few small candles sitting in the middle of the tablescape. The sun was just starting to disappear behind the hills which made for a very romantic setting. I was surprised by it all and it made me a little emotional. I wasn’t used to such grand gestures. I took a deep breath to try and steady myself as I felt my eyes begin to water. Thankfully it passed before Dieter noticed…or maybe he did see it and just chose not to say anything.

We spent dinner talking about our day. There was a lot of laughing and intense gazes that eventually led into soft touches across the table and legs grazing underneath it. As the final bits of daylight disappeared and we indulged in the wine, I could feel the atmosphere shifting. You could cut the sexual tension with a knife. I knew exactly how this evening was going to end one way or another and it couldn't come soon enough. I had already caught myself clenching my thighs together all throughout dinner. It was maddening.

Once we finished eating, we wandered inside to the dimly lit sitting room. I was drawn to a small table near the window that had a bunch of old framed pictures on it. They were pictures of the same people from before. There was one in particular that caught my attention. It was the same woman from earlier, dancing with a handsome dark-haired man in what looked like this same room. I picked it up to look at it as Dieter walked up behind me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me tightly against him as he looked at the picture over my shoulder. I could feel his jaw tightening. I set the picture down and started examining the antique gramophone that sat next to the pictures.

“I’ve never seen one of these in person. Does it work?” I turned to look at him. He gave me a sad smile.

“I’m not sure. It used to.”

He moved to turn it on. To our surprise a classical melody started playing almost immediately through the horn. I smiled up at Dieter. He smiled back at me as he grabbed my hands and pulled me toward the open space in front of the patio doors. He put one arm around my waist, pulling me in closely as he held the other and started to sway to the music. I couldn’t help the smile that broke across my face.

We danced in silence for several minutes, gazing deeply into each other's eyes. Eventually the pace of the music picked up speed. He responded by moving us around the room in practiced motions that I wasn’t expecting. Both of us giggling like children as we went. As the music came to a close, he twirled me around and ended it by dipping me backwards. Enthusiastic smiles were plastered across both of our faces as he leaned down and met me for a kiss. As he raised me back to a standing position, the kiss deepened. I reached up to run my hands through his hair while his hands gripped my hips.

I could feel his posture change as he slowed things down, eventually stopping to rest his head against mine with his eyes closed. When I pulled back to look at him, his brows were drawn tightly together, creating a deep crease between them. When he finally opened his eyes, they were watery and full of some emotion that I could not discern. He searched my face as he pushed some loose curls back from my forehead. He leaned in to kiss me, more urgently this time, but broke away after a moment to ask if I wanted to go upstairs. I gave him a quick nod while I continued to study his face. He seemed to be cycling through several different emotions all at once.

We quickly made our way back to our room and started undressing each other as soon as the door closed behind us. He scooted back onto the center of the bed, motioning for me to come to him. I crawled over and straddled his lap. I could already feel his hardness pressing against me as he kissed down my neck and breasts. I could feel his fingers running up the inside of my thigh before they met the bundle of nerves between my legs. I was already wet and ready for him when he inserted his fingers. I was in such a frenzy for him that it didn’t take long for me to be overcome by pleasure from his movements. Before I had a chance to recover, he was already placing himself at my entrance. I wasted no time in sinking down on him.

It was slow and sensual; the focus was on our connection to one another. The emotions were running deep this time. It was the most intense that it had ever been. We went on for some time, both of us sweaty and panting into each other's mouths. As I increased the speed of my rhythm, I could feel the build of a second release nearing. He too was close. When my muscles tightened around him, he spilled into me with a soft groan. We hugged each other tightly, burying our faces into one another as we both tensed through our releases.

We sat with him still inside me, unmoving for some time. We shared gazes, soft touches, and more kisses. Eventually my legs started to protest, worn out from the day's activities. I groaned as we moved to lay down under the covers where we continued our intimate embrace. We both drifted off to sleep soon after.

I later awoke to the feel of a soft breeze and morning dew creeping into the room from the open terrace doors. The sunlight was just beginning to peek over the horizon, giving the room a soft glow. The bed beside me was empty and cold with Dieter nowhere in sight. I grabbed one of the fluffy robes from the wardrobe and walked out onto the terrace to find him. He was sitting in a chair, staring off in the distance with red rimmed eyes and a half empty bottle of bourbon in his hand. His eyes met mine. He looked lost and broken in a way that I had never seen. Whatever it was that had been bothering him the last couple of days was finally breaking through the surface. I approached him and reached for the hand he had resting on his chest. He pulled me over to him and hugged me around the waist, resting his forehead against my stomach.

“I want to talk to you about something,” he said with a gravelly voice.

“It’s something that I’ve never fully told anyone, but I think it’s time I did. If I’m ever gonna get my shit together, I have to. I think you’re the only person I feel comfortable opening up to about it. It’s one of the reasons I wanted to bring you here.”

Dieter leaned back into the seat as I climbed up onto his lap, straddling his hips to sit face to face with him. He too was wearing one of the robes from our room. I could tell he hadn’t bothered to put anything else on underneath. Normally, that would have been distracting, but right now it was just an afterthought. I took the bourbon bottle from his left hand and set it on the ground. Then started rubbing the back of his neck. The fingers of my right hand were still entwined with his against his chest.

“I know I’ve never mentioned my parents. You might have caught on that they died when we were younger, but I’ve never told you the details. My mom’s death specifically is something that I’ve really struggled with. I haven’t even told my sister or brother everything that happened the day that she died.”

He took a deep breath and looked off into the distance where he had been staring earlier.

“This place belonged to my parents. It belongs to me now, but this is only like the fourth time I’ve been back here since my father died when I was twenty.”

He drew his brows down together before he continued. I could tell he was trying hard to control his emotions.

“Before that, I hadn’t been here since we buried my mom on the property when I was thirteen. I just couldn’t handle the memories.”

He briefly stopped speaking, seeming to think through his next words.

“The week that she died…my father was out of town on business. She had always struggled with depression and at the time I didn’t even really understand what that meant. That week she seemed worse than normal, and I thought she just really missed dad. She always had a harder time when he was gone.”

He paused, inhaling deeply again. He placed his right hand on my hip and knotted the fabric of my robe in his fist before he continued. He was still staring off in the distance, unblinking.

“She really loved flowers. White roses specifically. She said they symbolized love, loyalty, and a fresh start. She was always talking about the meaning and symbolism of things.” He gave a small laugh before briefly biting at his lip.

“That morning I woke up really early. I’d planned to go get some fresh flowers from her garden to help cheer her up when she got out of bed. It was an unusual thing for me to do. I mean, I would bring her flowers all the time, but never early in the morning like that. So, I’m sure it never crossed her mind that I would be the one to find her.”

My breath caught in my throat. This is the reason he is so broken. This is why he is so afraid of love and loss. This one incident had shaped his life of loveless solitude. Since the moment I had met him, he had a sadness behind his eyes that was unreadable. Even when he seemed to be at his happiest, I could sense it just underneath the surface. This is what he has been holding on to since the day he lost one of the most important people in his life and he was choosing to share it with me rather than anyone else.

I knew I had been feeling a shift in our relationship, but I wasn’t expecting this. He was trusting me with his biggest and most heartbreaking secret. I sat in silence, tears slowly starting to slide down my face as I understood what he was about to tell me. I didn’t know what to say, so I just continued to comfort him with physical touch as always. It had become our secret language to one another after all.

He looked down at our entwined hands with a stuttered breath as he continued. He talked slowly, stopping ever so often to manage his emotions.

“It was during sunrise. Kind of like it is now. I walked down to her garden. There used to be a huge apple tree that grew near that old fountain down there at the bottom of the hill. I saw her as soon as I got to the edge of the garden. I knew what I was seeing, but I couldn’t really process it. She was hanging from the tree. My automatic reaction was to run over and try to hold her up. To take the pressure off the rope. I just knew she would be fine if I could only hold her up. I don’t know how long I stood there trying to hold her and screaming for help before somebody heard me. It seemed like an eternity. Finally, one of the workers heard me and rushed over.”

His voice became very flat and void of emotion. He continued to stare at our hands blankly.

“Everything that happened after that is kind of a blur. I remember sitting on the ground and crying…while they cut the rope to bring her down. It was clear she’d been there for a while. She was blue and cold. At the time, I felt like I’d failed her. I should’ve gone out sooner or tried harder to hold her up. I know that’s ridiculous because they said she’d likely been there most of the night.”

He briefly shook his head from side to side before continuing, keeping his eyes focused on our hands.

“The next day… out of pure rage, I set the tree and the garden on fire. I stood there and watched it burn while everybody rushed to put it out. My father was so angry about it.”

His voice shook. He was starting to break. I could see it was taking everything in him to hold it back. He finally looked up at me and my heart shattered.

“Why wasn’t I enough for her to want to stay? Why couldn’t she stay for her kids? I literally worshiped the ground she walked on. She was my life and none of us were enough for her.”

Dieter started sobbing. I hugged him and cried with him. He continued with his head buried in my neck.

“I have so much anger toward her for leaving us like that and I hate myself for it. I feel like, if I wasn’t enough for my mother, how can I ever be enough for anyone else? Why do I deserve to find happiness when she couldn’t? I’m so afraid of finding someone I want in my life in every way and they’re going to leave me because I can’t get my shit together or something’s gonna happen to them and I’m not going to be able to handle it. I’m already on the edge as it is. What if I'm like her and I do what she did to someone else? I don’t want to put someone through that. I haven’t been able to bring myself to take that chance and I’ve lived a fucking miserable existence because of it. I don’t want that anymore.”

I raised his face with both of my hands to make him look at me. The look in his eye seemed different. Almost relieved.

“Dieter, you are enough.” He tried to look away from me, but I wouldn’t let him.

“You hear me. You really are enough. Don’t ever tell yourself otherwise. You’re such a selfless person, I know you would never do anything like she did. She was sick. Depression is a very consuming thing if it’s not treated properly. I mean, you’ll never really know what she was dealing with. It could have been more than that, you know? Honestly, you have every right to be angry with her. She hurt you and put you in a really painful situation. Don’t feel bad about that. But you also need to be able to forgive her and understand that what she was going through had nothing to do with you. Otherwise, I don’t think you’ll ever be able to move on. The fact that you’ve finally opened up to someone is amazing though. It’s a good first step and I’m proud of you for doing it. I know how hard it was for you. Thank you for trusting me with this part of yourself.”

Dieter shook his head in agreement, then took a deep stuttering breath. I could smell the thick scent of bourbon as he exhaled. He suddenly looked exhausted. I could tell this had taken a lot out of him. I kissed his forehead and hugged him again. I could feel all the tension leave his body as he melted into me.

I was falling hard for this beautiful, broken man. He was either going to be the best thing that ever happened to me or absolutely crush my soul. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could continue saying we were just friends if there was going to be this much emotion involved. I think he was starting to sense it too. This weekend was changing things between us in so many ways. This goes far beyond “just friends” and even the newly added “benefits”.

Dieter pulled away and wiped the tears off my face with each of his thumbs, letting his hands cup my face. He studied me, his brows drew down together. He looked as if he was trying to make some sort of decision. He pushed the hair back from my face and kissed me gently. Then he leaned his forehead against mine. “We should probably try to get a couple hours of sleep. I’ve kept you up most of the night.” I gave him a small smile as I agreed.

He stood up, lifting me up from his lap, then sat me on the ground. We went back inside. He closed the terrace doors behind us and pulled the blackout curtains shut. We crawled into bed together. He turned on his side, snuggled his head into the crook of my neck, and tangled his legs in with mine. He threw his arm across me, grabbed my hand that was resting just below my neck, and entwined our fingers there. I hadn’t even realized I was doing the thing with my hand, but he did. He always did and he always knew how to ease my anxiety. Never questioning the cause of it.

He quickly fell into a deep sleep. I laid there for a while just listening to him. He seemed less restless than he had been in recent weeks. I hoped that some of the weight had been lifted as he had shared his pain with me. I would take on all of his pain if I could. I wanted nothing more than to see this man truly happy and unburdened by his past. Eventually I also drifted off to sleep.

We were awakened a few hours later by the phone. Dieter rolled over to answer. Mateo called to let us know that breakfast was ready. He thanked him and hung up the phone. We both groaned and snuggled further into bed, facing each other with arms and legs wrapped around one another.

I could feel his eyes on me, and I slowly opened mine to look at him. There was a slight glow sneaking into the room from the sunlight. Just enough for me to make out the expression on his face. He looked almost giddy or hopeful? He smiled at me and kissed my forehead. He mumbled, “Good morning, mi luz en la oscuridad” into my hair then leaned down for a slow, sensual kiss. Which is not what I was expecting after the early morning events.

“Are you ever gonna tell me what that means?” I asked him with a smirk.

“One day I will. I promise,” he said through a smile as he leaned in for another quick kiss.

He broke away and suddenly got very serious. He raised up above me on his elbow. “Look, I…” he started, then froze for a minute. Trying to find his words. “I’ve been thinking about this for a while. I know that we agreed this whole thing between us is…that we…fuck. I don’t know how to say this.”

I had to admit, a flustered Dieter was pretty damn cute. I hadn’t had the pleasure of really seeing this version of him before. I raised my hand to rub the short hair at the nape of his neck and gave him an encouraging smile.

“I know we both said that we’re not doing the relationship thing, but I can’t deny how I feel anymore. I’ve been breaking all the fucking friend rules for weeks and you haven’t stopped me.”

He paused briefly, clearly working up the courage to continue. He took a deep breath to steady himself.

“So, I’m just gonna say it. I’m in love with you and I can’t help it. I don’t know what you wanna do with that, but if your feelings have changed about things, I’m willing to try to be with you as something more. I want to be with you. There’s something about you that draws me in and puts me at peace and I…” his voice broke a little.

He was actually getting emotional about this. There was none of the cocky jokes or usual confidence behind his words. He took a second to pull himself together.

“Ugh, I can’t believe I’m doing this, but I feel like I have to at least try because living with the what ifs may kill me before anything else does. And I know you have your own shit to work through… I wanna continue to support you through that, like you have me. I want you to know that I’ll never treat you like your ex-husband did. Actually, if I ever see him out in public again, I’ll make him eat his own fucking teeth for what he did to you.” His last statement gave me a good chuckle.

I think my silence began to make him a little uneasy. His newly returned confidence was fading slightly. I sat there for a moment, staring at him intently before I spoke. Trying to decide if this was a good idea. Especially after his emotional display from earlier. Was he really in a place to decide this is what he wanted? Or was this some sort of reaction to help himself feel better in the moment? He did say he had been thinking about it for a while. I also had to consider the things his sister had said to me previously. Could this really work between us? I knew from this point on, it had to be all or nothing because there was no going back, especially after everything that has happened over the last couple of weeks.

Dieter took a deep breath. “You’re kind of breaking my heart here with the silence,” he said as he let out a nervous laugh.

I gave him a big toothy smile as I pulled him down for a very enthusiastic kiss, then spoke against his lips.

“I honestly don’t know how I could say no. You’ve had me hooked since New York if I’m being honest.”

A big smile slowly spread across his face in return.

“I fucking knew it.”

A/N: There you have it folks. We now know what happened to our dear sweet Dieter. From this point on, we are going to start diving deep into some mental health stuff as our couple tries to navigate their relationship. It’s going to get a little dark at times, but there will be a happy ending. Hopefully you will stick with me till the end.

In case you missed the mood board from this week’s teaser, I’ve included it below.

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Let me know in the comments below if you would like to be added to the tag list.

#dieter x ofc #dieter bravo fic #dieter bravo x oc #dieter bravo #pedro pascal #Destiny & Deliverance Series #pedrostories #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal character fanfic #pedro pascal fanfiction #Pedro Pascal Fanfic #dieter bravo fluff #dieter bravo fanfiction #Spotify

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youaremyhome · 2 years

Text

Pieces of the Night: Mars is Bright Tonight

Warnings: Dark!Rafe Cameron x Reader, 18+ NSFW, smut, HEAVY non-con/dub-con, drug use, possessive behavior, DARK. Read at your own risk!

Notes: 4.4k words. Part 4!! starting to get darker, mind the tags ppl :)

The sun softly warms the top of your knees, arms wrapped around your legs as you sit on the lounge chair. Your bedroom sliding door is still open to let in the breeze. Heaving out a sigh, your mind moves sluggishly as you think back to last night.

After the group had led you back to the safety of the bonfire, you apologized for the scene you had caused. They refused to accept it, saying Rafe made a scene wherever he went. Still, you turned quiet as you looked for your sister. Lauren had been busy in the dunes with a kook and had missed the whole confrontation. Thank God for small miracles, you didn’t need her to be front row of your chaos.

Clearly, you had misjudged Rafe. You've heard he’s mean, but you had this annoying habit of seeing the good in everyone. That first night of meeting him had been nice. He was a bit of an asshole, but he had listened to you ramble and you thought he was sweet. My God, how wrong you were. You cried all last night once in bed. You would relax for a moment before remembering the picture he had of you, making you sob all over again.

But with the rising sun to cast light, so had your mind.

If Rafe did share that picture, you can report it as revenge porn, then he would be the one in trouble. You refuse to cower from a picture he had taken without your consent and try to hold it as blackmail. You would flip it on him just as quickly. Though, that didn’t make you any less shameful, feeling so stupid for having slept with him in the first place, for accepting that coke so easily.

Now that you're analyzing that night with wider eyes, you think maybe it wasn’t coke. At least, not fully. You had never felt that way with coke before. A more lightness, a feeling like you were drunk on drugs instead of liquor. You reason that it must’ve been cut with something else, giving you a bad high.

The only problem you’re stuck on is if you should tell anyone. Your friends? Lauren? The school?

The only ones to know the truth are the pogues, but you don’t want to involve them in your newfound drama. Rafe was probably right; they won’t want to do anything with you now.

A chirp of your phone interrupts your spiraling thoughts. A text from an unsaved number.

Hey, it's Sarah, do you wanna talk about last night?

Relief washes over you like cool water. Selfishly, you accept the lifeline Sarah has waved to you.

Yes please lol come over?

Your family is down at the beach and you blamed a headache for staying back. You burn a hole in the hardwood floors pacing for half an hour until Sarah texts that she’s here. Running down to the door you're greeted with a pleasant surprise as you look out to the driveway.

The brown van is parked crooked and filing out is all five of them. JJ waves his arm back and forth dramatically, smiling and bellowing your name.

JJ’s spirit makes you smile, leaning over the railing and waving back, beckoning them up. When they’re climbing the stairs, the rumble of an engine automatically turns your attention to the road. A truck drives past, slower than normal. You think it must be another tourist looking for their rental house.

Once they climb up the numerous stairs, Pope supports a hand against a pillar.

“Is it really necessary to climb mount Everest every time you come here?”

“No. There’s an elevator.” You smile innocently.

“That’s mean,” Pope whines.

“Sorry about them, they’re kinda a package deal. Should’ve warned you.” Sarah rolls her eyes fondly.

“That’s ok, they’re pretty funny.”

You lead them inside, hearing the oohs and awws over the house.

“Holy kook,” Pope wonders out loud.

Your face gets hot with embarrassed annoyance, you don’t want to be considered a kook if Rafe is one. Not wanting any more association with him than you already have. You skip over Pope's musing and sit on the couch with them.

“Soo… last night…” Sarah starts.

“Sucked! I hate when those kooks crash the party. It’s our side of the island.” JJ interrupts.

“I think Sarah was talking about what happened with Rafe and Y/N.” John B says.

“Oh, yeah. That. That sucked too. I mean for sure it did for you.” JJ gestures his long arms to you. “Who would sleep with Rafe anyway?”

Kie reprimands JJ with low mutterings while Sarah hits his knee. John B covers for him. “What JJ means is that everyone knows what a prick Rafe is. Just surprising someone as nice as you did.”

“How did that happen anyways?” Sarah pipes up. “Sorry to ask but my brother is crazy.”

You tell them the full story, unlike the version you had given your girlfriends, feeling a bit better knowing at least someone knows the truth. That Rafe won’t be able to hold it over your head with them.

“He must’ve taken that picture when I was sleeping, I never would’ve let him if I was awake.” You shrug lamely, that hot ball of fire of anxiety flaring in the uncomfortable silence. Sarah reaches over to place a hand on your knee, a comforting smile on her face.

“What a fucking creep.” JJ spits out, it looks like he wants to punch something. “We gotta delete that picture off his phone.”

“Yeah!” Pope exclaims. “We could break into Tannyhill and get ahold of it. Or better yet, break it.”

John B perks up like a puppy. “Sarah, you could get us in, right?”

“Of course, I know where he hides the key to his room.”

“No, no, please, don’t –” This feels like it's not the first time they’ve impulsively schemed before.

“Let’s do it tonight –”

“Perfect!”

“Me and JJ can –”

“No!” You yell.

Everyone’s head snaps at you, shocking even yourself when you realize you’re standing.

“Don’t you want that picture deleted?” Kie asks, tone condescending and face one of disgust.

“Of course, I do!” Anxiety fizzes at your chest, your arms crossing tightly across your chest. “But I don’t want you guys to get in trouble for me. This is my mistake; I can fix it myself.”

“We can’t just let him hold onto it; he could send it to anyone! Show anyone!” JJ panics.

“Let us help you,” Pope says in a gentle tone.

You’re shaking your head stubbornly as they talk over each other. “No. I can’t ask that of you guys. I’ll figure something out.”

They don’t easily back down you find, which in other circumstances you would appreciate. After more arguing and denying their help, they eventually give in with forlorn faces. It’s awkward and you look out the windows.

“Anyone wanna teach me how to surf?”

After trial and error, you finally get to ride the wave without falling off. It only took you three hours. You scream in victory, pumping your arms which unstable you, and slip into the water. Laughing as you come back up, you’re pushed right back down by JJ and John B ambushing you, lifting you back to hold you like a trophy. You can’t stop laughing as everyone cheers.

Breathless, you trudge out of the water and flop down next to Sarah. The others stay with the waves. Their lessons distracted you from your current situation and you genuinely had fun head barreling into cold waves again and again.

“My body is going to hurt tomorrow; I just know it.” You sigh lightly. “Totally worth it though.”

Sarah smiles at you, and after a moment of looking at you knocks her shoulders with yours. “I just wanted to say… I’m sorry about Rafe. Our family doesn’t know where he came from, I think he was switched at birth.”

You sigh deeper this time. “You don’t have to be sorry.”

“I know but being on the end of Rafe’s wrath isn’t fun. Trust me, I’ve experienced it one too many times.” You see sincere worry etched on her face. “Just…try and avoid him if you can.”

You slowly bob your head along in agreement, eyebrows shooting up to look at her. “Like the plague.” You say seriously.

Sarah’s lips press together in a smile before giggles ring out as you lean into each other. Comparing Rafe to other diseases and disasters with Sarah until your stomach hurts from laughter.

Shared laughter in times of pain feels better than crying alone.

🌙

The swoosh of the glass door opening has you arousing from a deep sleep. Surfing had exhausted you, so you’re slow to realize that someone is crawling into bed with you.

“Lauren?” Your eyes are still closed as you're curled onto your side. She has the tendency to come into your room during the night if she’s had a nightmare and sleep with you. The bed dips and sways with the gentle movement, but she doesn’t answer. “You’re such a baby, what nightmare did you have now?” You sleepily ask, turning onto your back to look at her.

A scream scratches at your throat, but the sound gets trapped by a hand.

Above you is Rafe. Strands of hair shadow his eyes, his hand pressing your head to the pillow. Too shocked to do anything but blink up at him, your heart’s a hummingbird as it rams at the cage of your ribs. His blue eyes are steady as they stare at you, motionless like marble, just his chest expanding with each breath. It's silent as your eyes bounce along his face, from his set jaw to the straining tendons of his neck.

It's a limbo of eye contact, yours swimming with fearful tears as he barely blinks. Finally, Rafe inches his head down, nose skimming your cheek, the tip nudging at your healing cut. It circles to the apple of your cheek, tickling your peach fuzz as he makes his way to your ear.

A heavy inhale, then a groan. Rafe whispers your name.

Your body comes back to life, ankles kicking up into the air, struggling to open your mouth wider to scream. It’s easy for Rafe to grip your jaw tightly, the heel of his other hand pressing at the hollow of your shoulder as fingers curl in to anchor you down. His beautiful sharp features are pinched in anger, pink lips hidden in a thin line.

“Did you think I wouldn’t come for you, little angel?” His voice is a husk of a whisper, short nails grooving their way in the soft flesh of your cheeks.

You squeal in pain, in fear as you see violent desire burn in his eyes. There’s no anger overclouding you this time, no clever idea coming to mind. Just the pang of your heart as you realize you're entirely alone with him.

It doesn’t stop you from fighting. Balling your hands and hitting at his chest, forcing your elbows to straighten to push at his face. Rafe scowls, leaning his weight on his hand over your mouth, your teeth painfully grinding at the inside of your mouth as his other hand wrestles to take both your wrists. You push and push, moving as fast and hard as you can but it takes Rafe a minute to ensnare your wrists and pin them over your head.

He pants out loud, hard gusts of air while boring down on you. Fingers squeezing your wrists hard enough to where you feel skin move and glide over the bone, chafing together. You struggle not to make any noise, so he doesn’t get the satisfaction of knowing he’s hurting you.

“No pogues to save you here,” Rafe smiles cruelly. Your eyes don’t hold back the disdain you feel, a muffled grunt tickling his palm when you arch and throw your body back. “Your little tantrums aren’t going to work.” He responds, twisting at your wrists to make you cry out. “Now… are you going to be nice and quiet?”

His forceful hold on your mouth pulls on your face, forcing you to nod up and down. Rafe smiles wide with a condescending coo. “Good girl.”

Ever so slowly, he relives the pressure on your mouth. As much as you want to scream for help, you stay quiet knowing he can simply overpower you. You’ll have to wait for a better chance to escape.

Rafe waits, his hand at the ready for any small sound you’d make. You refuse to speak. He’s the one that broke into your room, surely, he can start the conversation he so desperately wants to have. You force yourself to look bored, though your body is rigid with fear and primed for flight.

Rafe half smiles. “You know… if you needed surfing lessons you could’ve just asked me.”

Your flat expression breaks. “Have you been stalking me?”

You don’t know why you’re surprised, after all, he knew where your rental was and broke in, but knowing he watched from afar is somehow more disturbing.

“Yeah, watched those pogues put their hands all over you, dirtying you with their touch.” His free hand strokes gently on your jawline to your chin, fingers drafting over your throat, a light press to the divot between your collarbones. The touch warrants unwanted goosebumps, you can feel the strength he holds back.

There are a couple of options you have right now.

You can interrogate him on why he’s here? How does he know where to find you? Is he going to delete that picture? You’d waste your breath however, Rafe could easily dodge them.

You can beg him to get off you, pout and cry to appeal to a softer, more rational side of him. You seriously doubt Rafe is ever rational.

They led to the same position – with him over you and in control.

One option left.

“I loved the way they touched me.”

Getting him angry.

And it’s so easy.

His blue eyes darken as he squints, teeth revealing themselves as his upper lip curls, lowering his face close to you again. His anger is near boiling as he opens his mouth to retaliate but with satisfaction, you steamroll over him.

“Especially when JJ did. Had a much better time with them than with you and that shitty coke you gave me!” You spit out.

That should get him pissed off enough that he’ll loosen his grip, and you’ll be quick to take advantage, you’ll poke at his eyes, and then…

Rafe smiles. A genuine smile, the anger slipping off like oil. A curious tilt to his head before he chuckles. “Coke? Is that what I told you?” He laughs again, boisterous. “I’m sorry baby I think I switched my baggies that night. I gave you that Special K.”

Your head jerks back in confusion, eyebrows creasing as you blink rapidly. Fuck, you hate him for making you ask: “What’s that?”

Rafe enjoys the way he has flipped the tables so quickly on you, laughter still reverberating in his chest. “You don’t know what K is?” You shake your head. “Y’know, K. Vitamin K? Ket?” Rafe hums, delighted.

Fingertips resume their trail across your chest when he finally answers. “Ketamine.”

Ketamine? Isn’t that a horse tranquilizer? Your eyes wander off to look behind him at the wall, disoriented with frustration at yourself and loathing for him. Vaguely, you remember feeling different that night, not the typical high you got with coke. It felt almost indescribable, dream-like. Like your heart was floating in your chest. Deep down you knew it wasn’t fully coke, but to learn it was a different drug entirely…You should’ve never taken anything from him. Why did you ever leave Louise’s side that night?

“It made you nice and relaxed for me,” Rafe continues during your silence. Taking advantage of your deep thinking to smell at your hairline. “Made you so damn needy.” He groans, thrusting his hips, and only now do you feel his hard-on. “Let’s recreate that night.”

Your eyes snap back to him, squealing and bucking like a wild horse. “In your fucking dreams!”

Rafe twists your wrists, the rub burning with each struggle you give. “Oh, you don’t wanna know what I dream about.” His insistent grinding forces your thighs apart. “Should I show you?”

Abruptly, his hand is pulling at your pajama shorts. The fabric cuts into your squirming hips as you hear the pop, pop, pop of seams breaking. Your erratic movements don’t deter him, your shorts are pulled off and reveal plain panties. Letting out a loud cry, you hope your family will hear, though they’re on different floors and on the opposite side of the house.

“Oh, no. None of that.” Rafe patronizes and before you can blink, cloth is in your mouth. “Remember these? Kept them as a little memento of you.”

You gag as he keeps pushing it further in, your tongue flat beneath the material making you drool rapidly, soaking it. Coughing makes it worse, that instinctual urge to spew out the uncomfortable presence strong but Rafe holds it there until drool is pooling and you're forced to swallow some of it.

“Can you taste my cum?”

His question is genuine and involuntary you sense the taste. The tang of something stale fills your tongue. It’s then, do you realize that your mouth is stuffed with your missing underwear. You kick your legs out angrily, a hidden tear skipping down as you gag again. Rafe huffs out laughter like it's no effort to hold you with one hand, arm bulging just the slightest. All you can see is his stupid face, but the rustling of clothes is undeniable, and it isn’t yours this time.

Rafe pushes his shorts down just enough to slip his hard cock out, the tip bumping on your clothed cunt. Your hips jolt back as Rafe settles his knees wider, rotating your thighs up so your feet aren’t grounded on the bed. It fucks with your balance and therefore your struggles, legs hanging up uselessly. Desperately, you shake your head and widen your eyes innocently, hoping to find some mercy inside him. Rafe coos at you, telling you how pretty you look, his fingers deftly hooking your panties to the side, revealing your bare pussy to him. It’s humiliating, the way he looks down at you, like a stolen prize he gets to devour.

You expect to feel his cock, pushing into you but you're surprised when it's his fingers petting at your slit. Whining, you shift your hips around trying to invade him, his touch oddly soft and exploring. Thumb pressing at your clit, circling and experimenting between various pressure. Rafe smirks when a strained moan is muffled.

“I dreamt about those lovely sounds you made. You could hardly get them out from how high you were.” Rafe reminisces, eyes bouncing between your face and pussy.

Fingers twisting, he angles his index and middle finger into you without warning. Squeezing your eyes shut, you bite on the fabric, ignoring the wet sensation covering his fingers. Shallowly, Rafe pumps his fingers in and out, a slight curl to them to hit at more sensitive spots. Pleasure steadily builds, the swipe of his thumb pulls at the hood of your clit, exposing the sensitive nub. The arch of his thumb is then rubbing on it, high whines stifled as your legs jerk.

His fingers pull out, your eyes popping open when you feel wet flesh trace at your lips. Vision blurry with tears, it takes a moment for everything to come into focus. Rafe is breathing heavily, mouth open in a half smile, fingertips smearing your juices across your lips. With you immobilized, Rafe looks like a sleep paralysis demon come to life. Hunched over as he nurses on your fear with pleasure. Rafe can’t keep his eyes still now, roving around your face, your tears to your chest. Dragging his hand down, he lifts your tank and reveals your bare tits. Your nipples are hard as you cave your chest in, trying to hide. The graze of his touch turns piercing when he twists your nipple, cruel laughter mixing with your yelps. He goes from one nipple to the other. Twisting, plucking, squeezing, making your nipples the most sensitive they’ve ever been. Sensitive skin reddening with the constant rough treatment. A single sweep of fingertips have you bowing your back in agonized pleasure, your tears soaking into your hairline.

One last squeeze and then Rafe’s hand is tugging your underwear to the side. Wildly, you shake your head no, grunting screams that shake your throat as your legs tense and kick. Your feet only find air and your throat finds Rafe’s hand around it. A warning squeeze.

Rafe chuckles, mocking a pout. “Don’t make me drug you again.”

He lets go of your throat to grip his cock, slapping it on your slit a few times, sliding it through your folds to coat himself. The tip pokes at your hole which makes your body tense up, but Rafe follows your body like the waves, pushing in and then back.

“Gotta relax or this’ll hurt far more than you’ll like,” Rafe mutters.

Your panties hide your curses at him, your body doing the opposite as your entrance tightens more. Rafe’s eyes flicker up at you in irritation. He crooks his head and forces halfway in. Even with the panties absorbing your screams, the gurgling of them is clearly heard, body twisting this way and that. Your tears run like constant rivers, the thick width of his cock burning its way in as you’re forced to stretch open. You work your pelvis floor and lower ab muscles to squeeze him out. Rafe grits his teeth as he stops moving his hips.

“Fuck.”

You’re too rigid for him to keep sliding in, not wet enough for his length to sneak deeper. His the biggest you’ve ever had, and you aren’t prepped enough to take him. Rafe’s determined though, rolling, and thrusting, filling you until his hips are flushed to you. Groans spill from him, some of them overpowering your own. The pressure of his cock is deep, that uncomfortable twinge pulling at the inside of your belly button. Once he has every inch inside you, he stalls for a few breaths, his eyes half lidden as he stares at the conjunction between you.

When he begins to pull back, you expect him to go all the way, but Rafe is always full of surprises. He pulls back a bit, only to ram right back in. It hurts to be so split open like this, knocking at your cervix with each harsh nudge, balls slapping at your ass. The grip on your wrists has made the skin numb, the other hand pushing down on your stomach when you arch your back to escape. You feel so full like you're going to burst at the seams like you’re breaking.

His hand creeps down to your hip, fingers gripping so hard the flesh is bubbled between the web of his fingers, pressing hard until your hips are tilting against the bed. The angle allows his cock to massage your top walls more acutely, slicking his cock to smoothly thrust in and out. It’s humiliating to be so wet for something your mind knows is wrong, a war on your body as the pleasure is infusing through the roadways of your nerve endings until your whole body is under a constant state of quivering.

“F-Fuck, I remember every second of that night.” Rafe grunts, head hanging as he watches the way his dick glistens before snapping his hips again. “The way you opened for me, so sweet. So eager.” The animalistic moans he lets out are almost as obscene as the sound of your slippery pussy.

“So fucking – shit – tighter now. Trying to push me out. Not goin’ anywhere until I cum in this pussy.”

The bed shakes back on the wall from how hard he drives his cock down, the slide getting easier with every thrust. The smell of him is tickling your senses suddenly and you realize you’ve closed your eyes. His mouth is hot along your trembling skin, lips smoothing the goosebumps that don’t seem to go away. Noisy, sloppy kisses imprint on your collarbones to your tits, a keening moan heard in your throat when his mouth envelopes one nipple. You almost forgot how sensitive they were. Your ribs twitch from the sucking, the tip of his tongue torturing you as it sends electric tremors down to your stomach. It's like you’re walking backwards to your doom because you don’t even know you're at the edge until you’re tripping at the point of no return when your body freezes.

It's painful when you cum, like a knot has wormed around your muscles, locking up in a spasm. An aching hurt of pleasure twists you up, coiling like a snake as you just keep cumming because Rafe won’t stop. Won’t stop his brutal pounding as he praises you with good girl, that’s it, take it, take it. Won’t stop pushing his cock in like he’s trying to make a home inside you, right underneath your ribcage.

Rafe’s moans reach their own high peak, vibrating into your breastbone and somewhere in the fog, you realize your wrists are free. Both of his arms are tucked under your back, crashing your chests together. The jerking of his cock feels odd in you, knowing he’s pouring his cum into you, but too fucked out to do anything. All you can think is thank God for birth control.

Time slows, Rafe holding you with relaxing muscles, barely there, slow kisses anywhere he can reach. The gentleness annoys you. With what little strength you have, you push at him until he lands next to you on the bed. Coughing while you gag, you take your drenched panties out of your mouth, heavy drool stringing along and then breaking as you throw them wherever, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand.

“Get out,” Your voice is raspy. “You got what you wanted."

Before you can move out of the bed to clean yourself up and cry in the bathroom, Rafe’s arm hooks over your stomach. Warm breath fogs over your shoulder and you grimace when his wet cock nudges at the back of your thigh. You haven’t gained enough energy to fully struggle in his hold, just a growl and a weak elbow to his abs.

“Aw, sweet angel.” He kisses the nook of your neck. “That night…Did you think I only fucked you once?”

#rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron x fem!reader #rafe cameronxreader #fanfics #fanfiction #outer banks smut #outer banks #outer banks fanfiction #dark!rafe cameron #dark fics #smut #obx #obx smut

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sasslett · 8 days

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Ten Songs

tagged by @sylaurin, thanks!

Rules: Shuffle an OC playlist and post the first ten songs. In this case, have Jess' playlist.

Kerosene - Courage My Love (tell me you need me, and we'll burn like kerosene)

Stay - Sun Never Sets (won't you stay with me tonight? I want you to stay)

Sinners - Lauren Aquilina (the world may disapprove, but my world is only you, and if we're sinners then it feels like heaven to me)

Hero - Alan Walker (been here before, it's in my muscle memory I'm pretty sure, I recognize you, there is something in your eyes)

Drops of Jupiter - Train (But tell me, did you sail across the sun? Did you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights all faded?)

Reckless - Disco Fries (we've got to light it up because I know that waiting games are for fools, let's break all the rules)

Take My Hand - Simple Plan (take my hand tonight, let's not think about tomorrow)

Alive - Adelitas Way (what if I told you that I'm in forever? Nothing to hide, yeah I'll go wherever you go, you make me feel alive)

The Way You Look Tonight - Adelitas Way (just like the sky at the end of the summer, August and thunder. I'll be your man if the rain keeps on falling, forever is calling)

Like A Saviour - Ellie Goulding (shot with your arrow, suddenly I feel like I can let go of all the insecurities weighing me down, now I'm ready to drown in you)

Thank you for the tag!

#sassbox #tagged #my eclectic music tastes lol

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merabellasim · 10 months

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Hello, this is my first sim dump! I hope you enjoy it🫶🏻

🍸Lauren Okuda, teen - genius, straight edge(basemental drugs needed)

🏝️Lisette Curi, young adult - loyal, materialistic, active

Feel free to use the wherever you like, and I'd love to see them in your creations, so don’t hesitated to tag me.

CC is included. All CC credit goes to the respective creators, thank you for your talent!

TOU: You can use it for whatever you'd like but please don’t claim as your own and don’t re-upload.

Download Okuda Household Here(always free)

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acrossmultiplefandoms · 10 months

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Another rant about how Rio is one of the best mothers ever

SHE IS AN AMAZING PARENT.

You can tell that she cares about Miles SO SO MUCH and it shows throughout the entire movie, and especially when she was having her speech to Miles and those lines “making sure he’s loved and that he belongs wherever he wants to be, and he wants to go out to the world and do great big things, and what l worry about the most is that they won’t look out for you like us” and also “and he never doubts that he’s loved, and never lets anyone tell him he doesn’t belong where he wants to be”

like oh, wow.

It is so beautifully written.

it’s like she’s saying “l know you’re growing up, and l’m not gonna stop you, but remember that I’m always here for you and l will always love you”

And l am not ashamed to say that l cried because I KNOW I’m not the only one.

Thank you to all the scriptwriters this is such a beautiful script, and to Lauren Vélez for voicing this in such an amazing way it is phenomenal.

Rio’s basically like the Sally Jackson of the Spiderverse

#spider man atsv #spider man across the spider verse #across the spiderverse #spider man into the spider verse #atsv #astv #miles morales #rio morales

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radio-free-beth-sarim · 6 months

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This is a selfie I took and posted to facebook in 2017 after waking up from a coma. My body retained so much water that the fluid had nowhere to go but my lungs. I had walking pneumonia and the doctor at the hospital told me flat out that I was at risk of drowning like that. They were able to drain 64 lbs of water weight off of me. That's 7.66 gallons of water.

It's been a lot of work to recover from that. I spent 5 years homebound, hooked up to an oxygen machine. But I am free from that now.

I posted this image to facebook with the caption "hospital selfie #kawaii" because I wanted the people I care about to know I'm ok. It's important to me to maintain a sense of humor when I've lost all control. If I ever lose that, I've lost everything. I was lucky enough to have a nurse that had razor sharp wit who gave me excellent care. Nurse Lauren, wherever you are, thank you. You knew exactly how to motivate me to keep pushing through the scariest time of my life. You kept me going when I needed it most. I can't thank you enough.

6 years and this is finally behind me.

#tw: medical

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writer-in-theory · 2 years

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here comes the first step — emily prentiss

request: hi! would you be willing to do an angst emily prentiss x male reader to your prompt "one more night"? maybe based around her Lauren Reynolds arc? summary: emily never thought she’d have to say goodbye to you. but as her cover gets blown as lauren reynolds, there’s nothing left to do. pairing: emily prentiss x male!reader category: angst no happy ending content warnings: none word count: 1.3k a/n: this was requested ages and ages ago by a friend so thank you for the patience it finally got here. also for everyone, i highly recommend listening to "in our bedroom after the war" by stars while reading, it's what i wrote to.

summer of fics masterlist masterlist want to join my taglist?

You knew the moment Emily walked through the front door of your house that it was time to say goodbye.

Though it had only been a few short months since you started seeing her, the expressions on her face grew to be familiar, easily identifiable. People often asked how you always seemed to know what she was thinking, marking her as practically unreadable. They just hadn’t spent the time you had getting to know her, getting to understand her.

So when Emily walked through the door, a too-wide smile on her face and eyes looking anywhere but at you, it was far too obvious that she intended to never see you again.

“So this is it?” you asked when you ground up the nerve, “You’re done?”

Emily watched you then, dark eyes widening a little in her barely perceptible shock. “How did you—”

“Your real smile is smaller, and this one didn’t make your face light up,” you explained, turning and walking back into the kitchen to continue cooking your dinner. The initial plan had been to make more than one share so you could bring some to the office for lunch, but you supposed it would be okay if Emily had it now instead. “You only make that face when you have to tell me something difficult. We haven’t worked a case together since you started your undercover.”

It was impossible to forget the moment you first met Emily Prentiss. She was a part of the other Interpol team in the area, working mainly with undercover stints and illegal weapons rings. From the moment you saw her, you knew you were in trouble. She wasn’t loud but she carried herself with enough confidence for three people, she was stand-offish at first but once you pushed through she was the funniest, brightest person you had the pleasure to know. Emily was everything a person could possibly be, all wrapped up in one.

“He found out,” Emily sighed, knowing (rightfully) that you would panic.

Because this wasn’t just any target that found out she was Interpol—this was Ian Doyle, an illegal arms dealer with a dangerous reputation. He had supposedly made people disappear and suffer for far less than being an undercover law enforcement officer. Not only that, but the man seemed to have connections everywhere. This was not someone to mess with, and yet instead of fleeing the country immediately, Emily was sharing dinner with you.

“Em, you can’t be here you have to l—” leave. She had to leave. As much as you wanted to keep her around forever, to promise her that the two of you could figure this all out together, you knew the truth of it all. The fact of the matter was, it was too dangerous for both of you to stay here together. You could no longer be the boyfriend she came home to at the end of the night, who she made excuses to Doyle to see.

And yet, you couldn’t say the word. No matter how hard you tried, no matter how many times your lips tried to form it, the word wouldn’t come out. Because despite knowing it was everything the two of you needed, it was impossible to ever tell Emily to go away.

“I could go with you,” you feebly offered, knowing that wasn’t something you’d realistically do. Because your life was here, your family was here, and the dream job you’d been working toward for years was right here, not wherever Emily was going next.

Emily always was the pragmatic one.

“Your life is here,” she sighed, tilting her head a little in the way you always used to love but now made you ache at the thought of never seeing it again. “Let’s not talk about it, while we have tonight.”

“One more night then?” you offered feebly, the only thing left you had to offer the woman of your dreams.

She hesitated then, one of the few times you ever saw her unsure of anything. You could imagine the thoughts running through her head because they were mirrored in yours, too. Wait, don’t go. You could stay, for longer than a night you could stay forever if you’d have me.

“Okay,” Emily conceded then, standing not for a hug or kiss or anything else you might’ve expected, but rather to gather up the dishes and set them in the sink. She seemed to consider them for a moment like the goodbyes might be delayed by scrubbing at the plates and bowls, but then she sighed and faced you instead. “What do you want to do on our last night then?”

“It doesn’t matter, as long as it’s with you.”

The pair of you ended up in bed together, limbs entwined in a way you weren’t sure you could ever disentangle from. A movie was playing on the TV but neither of you was watching. Instead, your fingers spent time running over the planes of a face you’d never forget while her own were tracing patterns along your arm. Words weren’t needed, not when none of them would have paled in comparison to the emotions running through the scene. So the two of you simply existed in each other's company, holding onto the places you wouldn’t get to touch again.

“Where will you go?” you asked finally, your voice punctuating the air with a harshness that contrasted the barely whispered words.

“My mother thinks I should return to the US,” Emily explained, “there could be a job with the FBI there. It would be different from this but...I could get used to it.”

“The FBI, huh? You know, we could end up working together.” It wasn’t likely, considering your jurisdiction would and forever be in Europe, but weirder things had happened along the course of the job. “Should I pretend we don’t know each other? You know, for safety.”

“Please don’t do that,” Emily countered quickly, a ghost of a laugh on her lips at your momentary bright face. “If, when, we see each other again, we can start from where we left off.”

“Do you really think we’ll see each other again?”

“I do. If we don’t run into each other on the job, then I’ll find you again when it’s safe. I promise you that.”

You’d follow Emily to the ends of the Earth if she asked you, especially when you knew there was nothing that could stop Emily Prentiss. When she found something she wanted, Emily found any way to get it in the end.

So maybe this wasn’t a permanent goodbye, then. Maybe, there’d come a time when you’d see her again—years down the road, when the both of you are a little older, wiser. You could see it then, you on an observation assignment in Paris and her visiting after being through with her latest job. You’d be sitting at a little Parisian cafe when you saw her. You’d look up and she’d be sitting at a table near you, smiling at her phone as her coffee grew cool enough for her to drink.

You would smile too, you’d grab your coffee despite it burning against your fingers. She wouldn’t notice you until you were right on her, and maybe you would have joked about that fact on any other day. Instead, you would simply ask, “Is this seat open?” and she’d smile, and say it was there for you.

And it wouldn’t quite be like the last night you spent with her, but it would be a beginning, and that would be enough.

GENERAL TAGLIST @samuel-de-champagne-problems @silverhetdanes @ssawonderland @reidsbookclub @katymarie @mrsobrien888 @writingquillsandpainpills @fightingdragonswithreid @lil-stark @raythefaye @stillsleepynat @this-is-doctor-and-its-calm @givemeth @foxy-eva @lilibet261 @exhaleli @darkeunology @nomajdetective @meggie-m00n @delicatespencer @serenity-lattes @goldentournesol @rexorangecouny @sultrypotter @reliefplease @mente-sindescanso @jj76889 @luna-novae @folkreid @nightmarewasteland @luredwithpretzels

ONESHOT TAGLIST @natashxromanovfreads @nano-noa

#emily prentiss #emily prentiss x reader #criminal minds #emily prentiss fanfiction #criminal minds fanfiction #emily prentiss angst #emily prentiss x y/n #emily prentiss x you #emily prentiss self insert #male!reader #emily prentiss x male!reader #jay writes in theory

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evita-shelby · 3 months

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✈️ AIRPLANE — does your oc like traveling, or do they consider themselves a more homey person? 🍃 LEAVES FLUTTERING IN WIND — what is/was your oc's favorite subject in school? 🥪 SANDWICH — what does your oc's typical lunch look like? do they usually eat lunch? For Eva, please!

Thanks Lauren 🖤🖤

✈️-

Eva enjoys traveling, but more like she's never been in one place for long.

Like her childhood and teenage years was spent moving where her parents and relatives took her and boarding school, her late teens and early twenties were spent in a following the mexican army as a nurse and spy, then going between her family's estate near tampico, her own house and those of her relatives in mexico city and then house arrest in her other house in veracruz.

So she really enjoys traveling locally and abroad and will split her time between Arrow House (or wherever she lives in the other aus) and London (or new york, hollywood, florida and Washington in nation anthem) because she simply doesn't feel comfortable staying in one house for too long.

In fact, it is post marriage that she lives a whole year or two in ome house without leaving to spend a season at another house she owns or as a guest of her family.

🍃-history because her family was heavily involved in Mexican history, but also philosophy because as a clairvoyant witch anything she said or did somehow came off as philosophical

🥪- it is either some english and mexican fusion food she or their chef invented, or some haute cuisine shit to impress people or because unfortunately to the men married to her, Eva is/was always a rich girl and grew up on that.

(And if you have read @zablife 's the Last Dinner, to orchestrate gruesome murders)

#eva smith shelby

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breakerwhiskey · 5 months

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096 - NINETY-SIX

Please visit breakerwhiskey.com for more information or to send a message to Whiskey's radio. Breaker Whiskey is an Atypical Artists production created by Lauren Shippen. If you'd like to support the show, please visit patreon.com/breakerwhiskey.

Transcript under the cut. For more episodes, click here.

[click, static]

Okay so… (sighs) “What choice marks”. That’s what you sent. I guess I should have seen that coming. It’s the question I’d ask too.

[click, static]

I’m surprised you haven’t put it together yet. We both know I haven’t been careful about what I say on here, what I say to you. I know you figured out that I was an art thief long before I told you. And I’ve already said a lot about…

[click, static]

We got caught, right? I’ve told you that. That last job…we got caught. I’m still not sure how, but I guess it doesn’t matter anymore. And that was a few months before we—

[click, static]

We were being transported. Harry and I. There’s a—um, there’s a federal prison in Pennsylvania and the two of us had gotten into a little trouble at the county jail that we’d been in before that so we were sent up the river.

I guess it isn’t really called that if you’re sent to Pennsylvania. We weren’t going up the Hudson to Sing-Sing, we were—

[click, static]

You know, I don’t actually like talking about it very much. It wasn't a particularly shining time in my life, you know? It’s not like I hadn’t spent time in jail before—a night here or there throughout my twenties for one thing or another, but this was…

I don’t even know where the guys ended up. I guess I should’ve been thankful that Harry was on the job with us, otherwise I’d have been entirely alone. It’s not like we shared a cell or anything, though if you count six years trapped in a house together in the woods then…

[click, static]

I shouldn’t joke about that. It’s not the same. Yeah, I complain about the last six years with Harry, how suffocating they were, how lonely and isolating and stifling it all was, how frustrating to be stuck with her and have no idea what was going on in the wider world but it beat the alternative by a long shot. Even before I knew there was a chance I could go back into the world, even when it seemed like the smart thing to do was stay in that house with her for the rest of time, it was still better than being where we were headed. A cage of your own choosing right? And even if the world hadn’t been flipped upside down, maybe enough years would’ve passed that we could’ve gone somewhere and started over.

[click, static]

I don’t mean together necessarily. I mean, we each could’ve gone wherever we want, taken on new names, dyed our hair…I don’t know. We assumed that our escape would’ve made us wanted fugitives—and I’m sure it would’ve if there’d been anyone to do the chasing—but I don’t know, I have to think that two art thieves would hardly have been on the FBI’s most wanted list forever or even to begin with. We could’ve figured something out once the initial heat had died down. I mean, it’s not like we were murderers or—

[click, static]

I don’t—

Look, it’s not important. What’s done is done and I’m not sure I owe you an explanation, not when you haven’t given me one for why you feel so guilty about your job. Other than the vague assertion that you’ve “hurt people”.

And you know what? You don’t have to tell me. Let’s just agree to skate past those parts of each other and move on, okay? There’s nothing to be gained from pulling out the skeletons from each other’s closets.

[click, static]

#breaker whiskey #audio drama #episode #transcript #Spotify

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mysterious-moonstruck-musings · 6 months

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I really liked this chapter!! It was angsty but not in like a bad way??? Like it was a hopeful angst hahaha!

This definitely makes up for Dieters behaviour! I hope Talia doesn’t blame herself too much tho because while yes, she could’ve helped him earlier. But it’s also not her responsibility to make sure his doctors are doing the right things? And she also has to take care of her own mental health. So I don’t blame her for not doing anything. It’s a complicated situation!

tbh, I think this was kinda the worst time to really introduce Lauren and Alex’s relationship because with everything with Dieter, I just don’t really care about them? lmao it’s kinda like “yeah good for them but is Dieter okay?????”

That moment with Talia and Dieter just made me 🥺🥺😭😭 he just wants to come home 😭😭 like actually broke my heart. I just wanna wrap him in a snuggly blanket and hug him. (Can we make him a mental health hospital basket? Like fluffy socks and chocolates and a little stuffed bear that smells like home…🥺😂)

And it suuuuucks that all this happened and that Dieter will have to go through all this now but it’s also good because he needs this and sometimes the good things are so fucking hard. But they’ll be worth it in the end and Dieter (and Talia) deserve all the good things 🥺

I can’t wait to see Dieter learning all the healthy coping mechanisms and therapy tricks (i feel like he’s gonna be so proud of himself that he’s shyly gonna tell people the things his therapist said helps. 🥺)

Aaaaaaaah I’m just so freaking soft for him and I just want him to be happy and healthy!!!! I already can’t wait to read the next chapter, I love this story sooooo muuuuuuch!!! (thanks for the update and we love you!!)

Thanks for the message Anon!

I am happy to hear you enjoyed this chapter! It was indeed a rough one. It defiantly brought back some not-so-great memories for me. The conversation between D and Talia was loosely based off real conversations I have had with two people in my life. Neither of which were easy. So, if you felt some realism to it, that is most likely why.

More after the cut... (contains spoilers for Chapter 25)

Oh you know Talia is totally going to be hard on herself about how she handled the whole situation. Especially now that she admits she hasn't been handling her emotions well either. Everything she has kept locked away is about to bust out with a vengeance, forcing her to finally deal with her issues too... and I do mean everything. Not just the things related to D. So, here is my thinking behind the Lauren and Alex reveal...Was it ideal? Absolutely not, but neither is life. Alex was obviously going to be there for his brother. It's inevitable. Alex & Lauren were already together when Gabby called, and they came to the hospital together. Lauren, of course, wanted to be there to support D, Talia, Gabby, and Alex. It's hard to support the person you are in love with while pretending you are not a couple. In my mind, during situations like this, all of the trivial stuff like that kind of goes out the window so that you can be there for the people you love. Honestly, their relationship was probably the last thing on their mind in the middle of the panic that Gabby's call would have brought on. To be fair, they didn't announce it...Gabby and Talia just kind of figured it out. It really was a heartbreaking moment... and it isn't even that he wanted to go home. He wanted to be with Talia, wherever she was. He just wants them to be together again in their little bubble. She is home to him.

It does suck that he has spiraled so hard. It helps to see the good in it though. It is going to force both D and Talia to get the help they need so they can have their happily ever after.

Given that you feel that is how he will be about his recovery, I think you will enjoy the ending that I have planned for these two. 😉 At this point, I think we all want to hug and snuggle D. I am sure he wouldn't be opposed to a gift basket. Maybe a stuffed raccoon (that smells like Talia) and some kit-kats would make things a little easier on him? Thanks for reading! I love my anons and readers too! 💜😘

🌛Mysterious-Moonstruck-Musings

CC: @rhoorl @bitchwitch1981 @readingiskeepingmegoing @runningmom94 @for-a-longlongtime @hisandsnakes @chaoticfestninja @survivingandenduring @partyofone3413 @wannab-urs @cakipy-blog @titlee78 @poodlebae @guelyury @missladym1981 @maried01 @alokaerza @samiamproductions @misstokyo7love @themonadiaries-blog @madnessofadaydreamer @darkheartgatita @avastrasposts @weho2kcmo @harriedandharassed @tkchaos @girlofchaos @yghuibt @musings-of-a-rose

#dieter bravo #dieter bravo fic #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #destiny & deliverance series #talk to me about d & d #dieter bravo fanfiction #dieter bravo x oc #pedro pascal character fanfic #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal fanfiction #talk to me

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thesimperiuscurse · 1 year

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List 5 facts about a favorite sim of yours, and send this to 10 simblrs whose sims you adore ♥♥♥

Thanks Lauren! Cheers to @catharsim + @nectar-cellar + @simstuition + @goodgriefpixels for sending this ask as well (months ago, oops) ❤

Kazuo graduated top of class from Harvard in 1985. Moving back to Japan as a young adult, he orchestrated the backend operations of Hayashi International (which definitely had nothing to do with Yakuza), and was responsible for increasing the family net worth from $10bn to $16bn before the turn of the century.

Kazuo is highly proficient at archery and shooting, which he competed in when he was at Harvard.

As CEO of Hayashi International, Kazuo spends most of his time flying overseas (in his private jet, of course) to meet with other real estate moguls and shareholders. Hong Kong, Singapore, Dubai—wherever the financial elite gather, he will be striking deals right in the center.

Surprisingly, Kazuo is capable of smooth-talking and charm, which is why he now operates as the face of the conglomerate while his wife, Svetlana, takes care of things the Hayashi family want to keep silent.

Kazuo always wanted a son—just not the one he received.

#just to be clear #kazuo is literally the opposite of my favourite sim #he's a piece of shit #worst father of the year #i'm clearing out my drafts so random things incoming #kazuohayashi #genfour #characterask

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kiasnocturnality · 1 year

Note

♡. @theyreyours

saeyla question fairy era?? SORRY SORRY FOR THE PESTERING BUT IMBAXK AGAIN AND I GOT A QUESTION feel free to answer it, feel free to have alois answer it, feel free not to do either!! totally fine, i dont mind<3 I HOPE YOU'RE HAVING A GOOD DAY/NIGHT !!! hope university's been treating ya well, hope things are going okay with you — and I hope everything for ya is going smoothly so far! sending love<3

but but onto the question—would alois, if given the opportunity, resurrect his dead family? would he disturb their rest if only to spend more time with them, as he's wished ever since their passing? and if he did resurrect them, whether on accident or by choice or like. pure desperation in the earlier days of his mourning. how would they react? I find myself interested in your ocs, especially the leblanc family ( especially the twins, yvonne and alois 🥰🥰🥰 my loves) and I'd like to know more abt them!! so feel free to rant about them through this ask, I'm happy to hear everything!!

Interesting! I think that canon Alois learns to respect death - it isn't death that took is his family, it was vampire hunters. Also, it would be impossible for him to resurrect Odette, Elaine, Laurens and Yvonne as there is little to nothing left of their bodies. Necromancy requires a body with all vital organs intact. He would not disrespect death by trying to take that which it has claimed. Dark! Alois, however, absolutely would - he takes what he wants.

And more info you say? Sure!

Ambroise used his golden child status to get Estienne second desserts all the time wherever they went. He was always aware of his special treatment compared to his brother who was not so genetically lucky and so he would use it to get his younger twin nice things when possible.

The first the Estienne's parents caught a young vampire man leaving his chambers, they weren't too sure what to think. (Odette was mostly thankful that it wasn't one of her heirs who would need to produce more heirs) but Ambroise quickly warmed them up to the idea by interjecting that the church wouldn't like it! It natually made the Leblanc parents much happier about their second son's bisexuality.

Yvonne has a habit of lurking around the estate. She's naturally incredibly quiet and stealthy and, for fun, she likes to use these skills to sneak up on her family members. She can be standing behind them for whole minutes before they turn around to see her and she is amused by their fright.

#Odette 'oh ok well if the church disapproves then I approve' Leblanc #✧･ﾟDOWN THE PATH #✩⋆ﾟALOIS LEBLANC #✩⋆ﾟAMBROISE LEBLANC #✩⋆ﾟESTIENNE LEBLANC #✩⋆ﾟYVONNE LEBLANC #vampire oc #vampire oc x reader #vampire x reader #terato #terato x reader #monster oc #monster boyfriend #monster boyfriend x reader #monster girlfriend #monster girlfriend x reader #self projecting onto Yvonne

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in-my-feels-probably · 7 months

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Congrats!

So I have a request for option one✨so to participate for this one, all you have to do is give me a character from a fandom and why you picked them, and any information about yourself you want to give me, and i’ll write you a blurb and tell you why i think your chosen character would like you.✨

I chose Nikolai Lantsov, I loved his character the moment I saw him (he gives off the best vibes for me) and he's one of the few fictional blondes who I really like. He's so compassionate and kind,and all together good. Plus he's so funny.

Preferably the relationship be romantic.

A little about myself, I'm also a blonde and tall, I'm a very curious but also can be very serious, but I can crack a joke. I can be kind but also fiery, I've been told I'm quite smart and have a good imagination. I might be a bit of a loner sometimes but if I like someone I'll be very open to them. I read a lot and love a good mystery/challenge. Also I'm a recent swiftie and I love Lauren Spencer-Smith(she has the best sad songs)

Anyway,

If you choose write anything with this, thank you, and lots of love and congratulations🩷🩷

hi!

thanks for participating :)

(first of all, i’m with you on the fictional blondes. him and peeta and finnick are pretty much the only ones who get a pass lol. anyways…)

i think nikolai would be drawn to you because you’d be a bit of a challenge to him. you sound more reserved, and he is very much not. it would take a bit for you to open up to him, and he’d be very proud of himself when you finally did. and he’d see that you’re funny and able to crack jokes with him and make him smile, which he needs. he’s always making people’s day brighter, but he doesn’t really have a person in his life to do that for him. getting you to smile would make him smile.

im telling you, nikolai would LOVE a good mystery. that man has adhd or something i swear, he has to be doing something to keep his hands and brain occupied. he’s a naturally curious person, and i think he’d love trying to solve things and sort things out. i don’t think he’s much of a reader honestly, unless he needs to be. but i do think there’s a few genres that would interest him, and he’d probably read in his free time. but he’d much rather come to you and ask you about the book your reading.

also, full believer that nikolai would be a swiftie. he’s such a mirrorball girlie. anyways, moving on!

—

nikolai would totally come to you after a long day. he’s one of those people that needs to wind his brain down, he can’t just stop and sit. he’ll be buzzing for hours if he doesn’t get some energy out. he’d come find you wherever you were, and he’d see you were nearly done with the book you had been telling him about. he’d excitedly ask you to catch him up with the plot, and then listen as you continued reading. he’d totally interrupt a bunch and try and predict what would happen next.

“what happened next—wait! don’t tell me, i can figure it out,” he spit out, making you smile.

you’d playfully roll your eyes, closing the book and holding it out to him. “why don’t you read it if you’re so interested?”

“and miss out on this invaluable quality time with you?” he’d smirk, pushing the book back into your hands. “never. keep going, darling.”

you’d chuckle, nodding. he’d stretch himself out on the couch next to you, resting his head on your shoulder. you’d continue reading, tilting the book away so you knew he wasn’t peeking.

“any theories yet?” you’d ask, smiling down at him as you tapped his temple with your finger. “i can see the smoke. don’t hurt yourself.”

“piss off, keep reading!”

—

thanks again for participating! i hope you enjoyed this :)

#1.5k followers #1.5k followers celebration #1500 followers #followers celebration #shadow and bone #nikolai lantsov

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ageless-aislynn · 1 year

Text

Tagged by the ever-awesome @missoliverstark Thanks so much! 💖

List five songs you’re listening to right now -

Please admire my ALL OVER THE PLACE current musical vibes, lol. 😉

youtube

“Tom’s Diner” (Cover) by AnnenMayKantereit x Giant Rocks

First guy has a unique and interesting voice, second guy knocks you off the planet while you’re thinking about the first guy’s voice. 😍😍

youtube

“Lovely” (Cover) by Lauren Babic and Jordan Radvansky

I adore the original but this cover with its harder rock edge just hits me in the YEAHHHHH MAN place. Wherever that is. 🤷‍♀️😛

youtube

“Dark All Day” (Power Glove remix) by Gunship

I am SUPER DUPER into the whole ‘80s synthwave thing right now. 😍 Also, the original version of the song is from “The Lost Boys” (1987) which explains the video and all of that, um, red Kool Aid raining down on everybody. Yeah, red Kool Aid, that’s it. 😉

youtube

“Boyfriend” by Dove Cameron

I love the slinky vibe of the song and then I read somewhere that she envisioned the video as that they’re both supervillains and I am always really, really here for villain ships, what can I say? Win/win! 😁

youtube

“Halo 3 ODST Soundtrack” by Martin O’Donnell and Michael Salvatori

Yes, the ENTIRE SOUNDTRACK. Because ODST’s soundtrack is an ABSOLUTE VIBE and there’s something both so melancholy but uplifting and peaceful about it to me. I love pretty much all of the various Halo games’ soundtracks but ODST... Yeah, this is some powerful stuff here, IMO. *nodnods* 🎵😍🎵

Tagging: anybody who’d like to do this one! *boops your nose politely* 💖

#five songs tag game #tag game #missoliverstark #*hugs*#thanks!#*boops your nose politely*#ageless aislynn #i queue because i care

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