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chocmuffinsscones · 3 months

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Kacchan is actually so, so loved.

His mom is right, he's a brat cuz he quickly got over his head when he was constantly praised by people around him. His parents must've love him so much with how well he physically is - healthy, clean, unbruised. Probably not a popular opinion but I think his mom treating him aggressively is a way to tone him down, to remind him of manners that he might've slipped from being too pompous. And also, it's an asian thing, ESPECIALLY in Japan where senpai-kouhai/elderly hierarchy is strongly regarded.

Still, Katsuki always demands attention like he doesn't have enough of it. He used to aim for being no.1 to gain attention where it'll feed his ego. Even with his obnoxious behaviour, he always had a pass cuz he IS talented, smart and very gifted. People allowed his atrocity cuz they believe he can still contribute to the hero society.

But Katsuki has a way to seek love that he truly yearns and needs. Maybe it's another gifted kid syndrome or an instinctual thing, that he could feel he is so loved in a way he was not expecting. The people who only sees him on the surface aside, Katsuki was constantly showered under the kind of love that is very forgiving, patient, and positive of his coming around. Aizawa, kirishima, his parents, AM, Izuku...

Aizawa and AM regard Katsuki in a similar fashion as his parents did, acting as a guidance that sometimes switching between being strict or encouraging. Kirishima was slightly special because he was the first one to accept his foul personality and would still praise and be amazed by his ability. To me, Katsuki must've value the gratification of someone acknowledging his entirety and would still respect him as well as give him fuel to his ego. Kirishima is passionate of integrity and righteousness. He's quite open-minded and is pretty forgiving, thus forming a suitable concoction of personalities that matches Katsuki's kind of "love" he grew accustomed to.

However, if it all comes to that preferences, why did he reject Izuku's "love" when kirishima's worked but not his? To be fair, Izuku's "love" for Katsuki is pretty much similar as to his parents' as well as kirishima's. But since the river incident, Katsuki's young mind has decided to antagonised that alien kind of love which he was going to get used to (from his parents) anyway. Because receiving that sort of acceptance and appreciation from a child his age kinda oppose the idea of him being special. Little Katsuki was building up a reputation of being the best and the most unique kid in the neighborhood , if he acknowledged Izuku's recognition of his "front", it would meant he wasn't really that special after all. Little Katsuki couldn't have that, and so it brought forward to their entire childhood until UA, rejecting that obvious, his preferred type of "love" that he labeled as disgusting due to their antagonistic relationship.

That's why after dvk2, when Katsuki has finally confronted that impulsive naivety he held onto, he became unconsciously openly seek out Izuku's "love" to him. He loves being seen and appreciated the right way, the way that reminds him of his humanity, that keeps him grounded, that asks his self-awareness of his capabilities and therefore pushes him becoming better every time. Izuku was different from Kirishima because Katsuki had never level himself with him the way he did with Izuku - notwithstanding the whole rivalry on win to save, save to win thing. Also, the simple fact that their familiarity of one another's traits are what keeping them tightly enveloped in an indissoluble bubble of intimacy.

Katsuki demands attention like a brat. He craves attention and love from where he seeks. As prefaced, he has preferences and that he categorised them. It's interesting though that due to his immature obstinacy, he had created a situation where he is now forcing himself in a state of overcompensation towards Izuku's year's worth of "love" towards him. (He knew he was truly at fault, and he knew Izuku still accepts him nonetheless (i.e dvk2), but the way he tried to keep a distance between them to maintain their norm is, in actuality, not normal. Counting in the fact that at the same time he still craves Izuku's "love" when he self-inserted as the one to pull the leash.

Tsk tsk, Katsuki truly is a child raised by love.

#Not meta #Maybe just my sudden random need to put Katsuki through a microscope again #maybe not bkdk but maybe is a little #Am not trying to force bkdk #I'm trying to see his introspection of his wants and needs from others and from Izuku #Like what makes Izuku different from the others #Cuz we always sees how Izuku alienated kacchan from the rest but never understands Katsuki's view of Izuku from the others #Except we obviously sees that he has tunnel vision and constant brainrot of Izuku 🙄#Anyway if you've read through that I'm embarrassed cuz I'm sure it's all over the place at some point #I started with the enlightenment of Katsuki being so loved and then went on to rant without any plan before hand lmao #So thanks for bearing with me if you did read until here #bnha #bnha rants #kacchan bakugou #bakugou katsuki #character analysis

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loppiopio · 6 months

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i've been sitting on this post for a few days now and it's literally just, me making assumptions about kudos i've noticed on fics lately (particularly aci since i've been checking that fic every week for book club these past few months) and this'll make me seem more insane than i already come off but by this point. how much lower can i go?

just going from top to down as of today.

[ShibaLee] i know you from your art on here!! tumblr user shibaleeart i'm happy to see more people in potentially enjoying the stories this fandom has to offer :>

[reiscm] shizuchansmilk?? what are youuu doing here? i didn't know you read shizaya fic tbh and i was surprised to see you here suddenly, relatively recently too. does that mean you just started the fic then?? after at least a year of being in the fandom right? maybe this wasn't from your first time reading it (same) but at the very least it shows you visited it not too long ago… i may be delusional in thinking i could be a contributing factor there because, why now? it's not like i'm the only aci advocate out there but i've probably been the most vocal about it around this time soo… well whatever it is, hope you had fun with it! i'm so curious what drrr comedian shizuchansmilk thinks about hit fanfiction a cheap imitation 👁️

i'm also recognising some of the other names around here like [anonymooose] and [durarasaiki] even though i haven't the faintest idea who they might be. i've just been seeing them lately across different shizaya fics which probably means these are the people doing their shizaya fic dive around this time. i have nothing more to add there i just, think it's cool noticing the same names across fics like yeah, we all feasting on the shizaya tag rn.

[ya_boi_twink] it took me a second to recall where i'd recognised your name from and then it hit me. i knoooow you! tumblr user yaboitwink in my notifs… i appreciate you, and i'm glad you liked the things i made for it c:

[bun_o_ween] oh i know you're here because of mr crapo. i hope you guys had fun with it! i wanna take the chance to also admit that like. the moment i found out you were that sebastian writer i experienced the wildest sense of deja vu. because. i had seen your name on ao3 before. but when i checked your fics there was no way i'd read a fic from you?? so then i realised i must have recognised you... through other kudos on other fics??? dude. i must sound crazy, i have no way of proving this because i actually don't remember what fics these were i just vaguely remember it was either bsd or tgcf? that i was looking at fics for, trying to find something to sate my hunger at the time. and i just remember, noticing your name across like a few of these fics in a row and thinking "heh someone else has been going down the same rabbit hole" AND NOW I SEE YOU AND CRAPO OF SHIZAYA FANDOM HITTING IT OFF it was surreal. like. my awareness of you had zero to do with black butler, i could not have predicted that you would have been the random ao3 user i'd seen apparently enjoying some of the same fics i was not too long ago. wow.

there are like two separate flamingo related names around here [niceflamingo] and [flamingoo] which doesn't mean anything but for some reason they are standing out enough for me to want to mention them. i feel like i've seen ao3 user flamingoo in the kudos of some other fic before but idk.

[Luzki] omg hey!! twitter artist vi_138_ woah hiii funny seeing you here :0 especially like. not so long ago? since i'd imagined you would've been aware of the fandom for a while since you seem more invested in the alts than shizuo and izaya in particular? well it was cool seeing that you'd read this one, i hope ya had fun!

[frogsarefriends] right under that is artist hallucxnating >:O i know they've read the fic already but it was cool to actually recognise their kudo down here, especially since it's like. not recognisable just from the name alone, but you've shared links to this ao3 as your writing so now i know it's you. my impression is that you came into the fandom through slavhew since, i'd connected the dots at some point that you two were friends which. made a lot of sense since i noticed you both started being active around here at the same time lol. but hey!! welcome to the club :D

[7FlyingPancakes7] this is one of the ones i'd noticed earlier on during book club, i distinctly remember checking a chapter while walking home one night (because i do that i guess) then BAM what the hell?? i just see tumblr user mari-lair's ao3 appear down there, totally out of nowhere for me. for context this was a writer from the tpn fandom i recognise from like 4 years ago? idk it's been a while, i didn't talk to them much but they were active in the fandom at the time so i'm familiar with their name. i haven't been keeping up with them but last i'd seen they seemed to be into tbhk with no indication as far as i was aware that they'd shown any interest in shizaya. nothing wrong with that it was just unexpected, so i was just like woah!! how did you get here? i am so curious how they may have come across this fic, was it some rec from a friend? how familiar are they with shizaya? how invested were they in the story and characters? enough to go down more of shizaya's greatest hits? anyways, that was just a fun little small world moment for me.

[psych0tastic] hey isn't this…. axietoh? like, the artist who used to draw shizaya like 5 years ago? what are they doing here so high up the list? 🤔 i have no clue lol i still follow them because i really like their art style but i hadn't noticed their interest in shizaya resurfacing... i suppose they just haven't been too active on these socials in general. anyways their name stood out to me and i was like, wait….. well it's a shocker seeing their name so high up here, were they reading this fic for the first time there or were they revisiting it and happened to have not kudo'd it until then? well anyways, it's nice to see they've revisted the fic within the last two years at least :0 that's cool to me.

[MiyukiWynter] dude i was feeling crazy just now trying to figure out where i'd recognised this name from because i'd swwooooorn i'd seen it from somewhere like as someone on twitter?? i think i was mixing them up in my mind with unrelated (as far as i'm aware) twitter user miiyankhr but turns out they're someone who's fics i've seen in the tags before. i haven't read them myself but apparently they just posted a new one two days ago so that's crazy.

[Dodomka] heyyy it's dodo from twitter, hellooo 👋 they've been the biggest supporter for my deep in the sauce fic tweets and for that i appreciate them very much :3 didn't expect to see them here tbh i wasn't aware of when they'd first read the fic but as i was expanding the list a few times to write up this post i noticed their name here and just thought that was neat. shout-out to them!

[mochi010] there's a user named mochi that has shown up in my twitter notifs somewhat regularly and they have nothing on their account so i have zero clue what they might be like outside from that they've been liking my shizuo and izaya retweets. their handle isn't even mochi so i have very little reason to believe this could be them but idk, maybe? no conclusion has been made here. well i already spent time writing and cleaning up the paragraph, guess i'm leaving it in.

shout-out to [ouiouipussay] and [ramenflavorpacketsnorter420] just for having some names that stand out lol. i don't recognise you from anywhere but, i guess now i will if i ever come across those names again.

[Stupidusernamepolicy] i struggled to find you amidst all these names for the writing of this post 💀 had to ctrl+f that shit. but i remember seeing your name here while i was going through the list some days before and being like "oh hey!! it's slavhew :)" but okay there's actually a tangent i've been wanting to go on from here.

outside of aci i've actually been noticing you and hallucxnating double duo'ing under some fics together, like after the story era which i'd reread after hallu reminded me of its existence in a reply, and also sacramental which i had reread because of your reply, lol. i find this quite funny, just like. this visual representation of you two reading and recommending fics with each other. then you talk about it on twitter and more people like me are visiting this fic too. chain reaction of sharing stories :)

ALSO [anonymooose] and [durarasaiki] spotted down here in some of these kudos too!! that's craazy. wow. i tell you guys i'm recognising these names i'm not just crazy 😭

[NotElectricT] this took me a second to dig up again since it's quite buried down that list at this point but the plan i'd had in mind for this post was to end on this one since i saw them kudo it right in front of me (through the vc stream) and i didn't think this post would get as long as it did but... well i already wrote it 😬 but yeah, this is my good friend note! check out this art they made for, still one of their favourite chapters, sharks fly. it's sandwiched in between some squid game au they made for a gift exchange for me..... it's a long story i don't wanna talk about it (embarrassing......)

but what i do wanna talk about!! is how note (referred to as "patient zero" regarding aci book club by the only other patient lol) just decided to read this fic completely of their own volition?? i didn't tell them to do that and for sure didn't expect them of all people to try reading it, ever (they're not really a fic reader) but they just did that, two years ago. and that was like, insane to me at the time because it's seriously so out of their depth guys they don't do enemies to lovers.... they still don't lol. but i was insane about this fic back then with no one to really be insane about it to so i just yelled about it to these friends out of context and i guess???? that was convincing enough to get this one to start the longest fic they'd ever read 💀

i had much fun having someone experience the fic i'd been insane over..... like i'm smiling about it rn thinking about the time i did a live reading of the chainsaw man (as i like to call him) chapter which was so fun i kinda forgot i had a hamilton musical i was supposed to watch that evening... that was awkward. and other chats we exchanged regarding the fic (they were reading chapters whenever they felt like it which i enjoyed because i like pacing these things out) but for some reason (i think things just happened around the time that disrupted the momentum) they never made it past chapter 26 😔 which was tragic to me but oh well....

well i'm am even more insane about this fic now because of this convoluted chain of events that gradually built and cascaded me towards whatever the fuck i'm doing now!! god. i've never made so much, anything, like ever. until now. because both note and rosa (who has not kudo'd this fic as far as i'm aware lol) made the decision beyond my expectations to commit to, a book club. which i organised. and i've been having a lot of fun! so much fun, there's all this wild "marketing" stuff i've been churning out in record fucking time by my standards. i've never felt so creatively fulfilled dude, never finished a thing in my life until these past few months. so that's awesome, and it's in large part because of note having committed to this fic again. so that's some of the story behind that one kudo haha.

and now we're at chapter 49, we're supposed to be talking about it tomorrow, which is today by now since it's 1 am but uhhhhhhh writing is so hard. i was supposed to just be cleaning up this draft i'd written like 5 days ago? i am now very hungry. there's actually more i'd drafted up from here just from more names i recognised as i kept expanding the kudo list that day buuuut i'm fuckeeeen cutting this off right here. i need to stop. the end.

#durarara #i said a thing #if you've kudo'd aci within the past year and you think i'd recognise your name there's a good chance you're in this #this post is adhd as fuck holy shit #well #if anyone has read a single entire paragraph of it thanks :)#too much time spent writing something no one will read?? but idk someone might??? ughhhh #i will maybe go back through to hyperlink more of the artists and writers i mention here #idk #we'll see haha i'm huuuuungry i need to eat something #if you enjoyed reading any of this i'd appreciate letting me know because i did spend way too long writing it for real 😭#but it's fine what's done is done #getting it out noooooooow #nevermind i spent another half hour formatting the images #i needsta to get diahnosed #i had the briefest mention of actual twitter user miiyankhr in between stupidusernamepolicy and notelectrict #just acknowledging that i saw their actual name in the list #but i cut it because it was literally a sentence or something and this post is already ridiculously bloated #gonna eat now bye please post don't fucking breaaaaak i will die

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bluehattedapprentice · 9 months

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What if before he went to America, Luke somehow travels back in time 3 years, the day before he meets his mentor Professor Layton with all the memories of what happens after?

Introducing my timeloop au! where Luke is stuck going back in time 3 years the day he was to go over to America several times and promptly tries to "fix" things that had gone wrong originally. Unfortunately for him fixing one problem leads to others being formed and after a mistake gone wrong on his 5th loop- Luke decides it's time to put an end to it once and for all.

#apprentice art #timeloop pl au #luke triton #this au was vaguely inspired by a fic with a similar concept!#which you should totally read!!! broke my soul #it's been a hot minute but iirc it was called reset?#clive is also in this au btw he just comes in later #I want to apologise in advance for all the Luke stans (myself included) for all the suffering I put him through #I'M NOT THAT MEAN TO HIM I SWEAR but he probably is in need of uh #is there time travel therapy??? therapy for time travelers #me: why is PLvPWaa so mean to luke #also me: is mean to luke in their own au #Unrelated but those backgrounds??? pain #I kept this short comic a sketch bc I am not going hard on that no sir #ANYWAYS HI HELLOO if you've read all this thank you I hope you have a nice day :D #if anyone wants me to ramble about it feel free to send in an ask bc I will! ramble <3

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todayisafridaynight · 1 year

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I hope this isn't weird but earlier I was thinking about how much good artists do in the world, and so many artists don't recognize it. You bring a lot of joy to a lot of people. I've gotten a few commissions from you at this point, and every time I look at them I get so happy because, man, there was someone who took time to create something for me (I know I payed, but still!) Beyond that, I have seen when you draw little doodles just because people inspire you to eith their asks. You practiced your skill and you use it to make others happy and that's so valuable. You contribute a lot to this world just by bringing people's moods up, and I hope you recognize that. You're pretty awesome :)

t thank yuou ,....

#fave #snap chats #HIDING BEING THE BIGGEST SAPPIEST SAPPY SAP IN THE TAGS #PLEAAASSSEE BRO I CAN'T ALMOST BE CRYIN AT 11AM THATS SO EMBARRASSINGGGG #BUT REAL THANK YOU SO MUCHH 😭😭 i say it a lot but i really cant stress how happy i get making other people happy #and thank you for commissioning me !! it's helped me out a lot so thank you for the support you've given me in the past :')#i hope i can continue to make you happy whether its through a future commission or the lil drawings i do everyday #i keep re reading this byyyyeeeeeee im a big ol blubbering BABY this is really sweet #i say a lot that i draw for myself and i do but i also have you guys as motivation to get better #cause sometimes i just wanna hang up a drawing or idea but then i just think like 'there'll be at least ONE other person who'd like this'#and if i can make one other person happy then i'm more than glad to put in the extra work and get that pay off #so i have to thank you guys a whole lot too for giving me motivation to draw everyday and help nurture that passion #cause sure i love drawing and i love the things i draw but it's always nice to h ave other people cheering for you too #it's nice that i can get other people interested in the stuff i like..#didnt really get that growing up so im glad i can have that with yall now and have fun :]#so again thank yall so much for bein lovelies and chattin with me and leaving tags and just supporting me #CANNOT stress how much it means to me so again. Thank You. i hope me drawins can show a fraction of my gratitude

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howdidigetbacktowritingwhat · 8 months

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hiii i want you to know i just consumed the entire fic and all your art so far and im obsessed. any chance you're willing to feed me a few crumbs :3

hiii anon i also want you to know that this was the final pushing point that helped me push through finishing the next chapter <3/gen/pos

SIX

#it is what it is update #it is what it is art #GENUINELY #ive been like. going through so many blocks and doubts about whether my work is like. actually good or everyone is being nice #asks + comments + tags are always saved in my phone for me to look at and remind myself "hey!! people actually like this !!! maybe its okay #like this one <3 #you guys are so kind and supportive and i thank you so much for it #its. hard for me to continue a piece because i very very easily get overwhelmingly negative about it so this. this genuinely helps so much #if you've read my fic #scrolled through my art #thank you #thank you so much <3 #hope you guys are well!!#no idea how my updating schedule will be. ill. ill try #fnaf dca reader insert #y/n #fnaf moon #fnaf dca #WAHHH POSTED THE WRONG VERSION OF THE DRAWING

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moxtoons · 2 months

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Considering closing my askbox soon

#Unfortunately I've only been getting repeated art requests #If you have some asks for me that aren't requests feel free to send them I'm trying to be better about responses #and if you've sent anything they may have gotten lost in the mix so I didn't respond 😭#I am going to be cleaning out my inbox and keeping a better eye on it in the future if I decide to leave it open!#I'll leave it open through the end of the month but if I don't get anything or continue to get requests it will most likely be closing soon #Thanks for reading!#Mox speaks

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asinasura · 8 months

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if i ever get around to making a flcl themed cosmetic for tf2, i know the perfect thing to reference that both:

fits the art style / setting of tf2, and would look snazy as fuck

i'm talking about canti's jacket !!

yeah my boy Joseph canti ( according to the wiki ) has just what i'd want to reference >:D

firstly, the jacket itself. the jacket is an ma-1 flight jacket ( specifically, the vietnam era type ma-1 flight jacket ( specifically SPECIFICALLY the japanese replica. )) tf2 takes place around the 1960's, meanwhile the jacket was produced around the 1950's, if my information is correct :p

this would fit for both the setting and art style, as i don't see the jacket itself obscuring much, nor being too small of a change. also, due to the jacket being mostly a sage-greenish colour, then it'd be easy to swap out for ( perhaps ) a mellow red colour

( actually, the jackets were initially produced in midnight blue and sage green, with blue being the original colour for the military. then it was replaced by the sage green )

secondly, the jacket is a jacket that was primarily worn by pilots during wars. this would fit with the pvp-styled gamemode that tf2 is known for. personally, i would see this being a cosmetic for scout, soldier, and demo. however i don't think it'd be out of place as an all-class cosmetic

all in all, i think this would be a good cosmetic that would fit the game, while also being a fun, subtle reference to flcl. i know the jacket itself isn't a reference to flcl, but if i were to theoretically Make this and theoretically Name this, then i'd imagine the name would be a subtle ( or not-so subtle ) allusion to flcl. maybe something like "fool's cool flight jacket" or some shit like that lol. idk i'm not clever, tell me if u got ideas tho >:J

ok little ending thing: if i were to make a cosmetic that references flcl without caring about the art style and setting of tf2 i would make pyro wear mamimi's uniform because firestarter >:D

that or give scout / demo a rickenbacker 4001 that makes a loud BWAAAHHH bass noise on hit, so its obnoxiously loud like the frying pan

#flcl #fooly cooly #tf2 #team fortress two #team fortress 2 #tf2 cosmetic #team fortress 2 cosmetic #flcl canti #fooly cooly canti #canti nandaba #dumb ramble #MY dumb ramble #mine!!!#thank you if you've read through this :]#tell me about the idea and if i should FINALLY learn 3d #just for this #>:3c

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whimsical-ness · 2 years

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a lil life update

its been a while...but im back! some explanations, new milestones, and yes, fic updates (!!) under the cut:

I’ve logged in for the first time in a few very hectic months, but I think I owe you all a proper post explaining where I’ve been, what I’m doing, and what I want to do next.

First things first: I’m officially done with graduate school! It’s crazy to think I first started writing on here as an 18 year old high school student, and now I’ve completed not just an undergraduate degree, but also a masters in marketing to finally be DONE with academics?? its been a wild ride and I still can’t believe it.

Not being a student anymore is definitely a scary and intimidating experience, but I’ve been extremely fortunate to have actually found *cue confetti* a job🎉🎉 it’s something I really enjoy and it means I get to stay in my favourite city in the world atleast for the foreseeable future!

This brings me now, to what’s next. Since I finally have no academic deadlines and constant pressure, and since for the most part work life is usually restricted to 5 days a week, I suddenly have a bunch of free time that I am very eager to fill with things that bring me joy.

And one of those is writing fanfic. As you might have noticed already, I’m currently venturing into writing bts fics, but that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten about my ongoing exo stuff, or that I don’t plan to write for some of the members again! And so, (fingers crossed) you’ll be seeing me on here more often, and I already have a plan for fics and updates that take up the rest of 2022. I think this is what most of you probably care about so here it is:

currently working on: yoongi arranged marriage au

next: jungkook fake dating/enemies to lovers au

after that: felon part 13!!

before 2022 ends: felon part 14 (probably the finale), and broken part 3 (the final part)

officially on hiatus for now: illicit and shadows

I do have to stress that it’s not a promise that I can get all of these done, but it’s an intention, and a solid one.

And to everyone who’s still here, or who have been checking up on me and leaving comments and asks and reblogs...thank you. It means so much to me that my fics are still being appreciated by you wonderful people even 5 years on, and it makes me want to keep doing this, and has been the driving force in me pushing myself to come back and get started again :)

#phew that was long #if you've read all the way through #thank you!!!!#im excited to be back <3 #p.s I’ll finally be getting to my inbox in the next couple days and answering everyone’s lovely messages im so so sorry for not doing this s #*sooner!#will also pin this post for a bit for everyone to see

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sophieswundergarten · 1 year

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Live Reaction of Sophie Being Utterly WRECKED by Chapter 13 of S.O.S.

@nobody33333333. I have no apologies or disclaimers. You Know What You Did.

OOOOHHHHHHHH. You have NO IDEA how ecstatic I am at reading this!! Going to have a hard time containing myself :D

Already, Garrison is locked on to the psychic aspect of the situation. Makes you wonder what that tunnel vision is blocking from her?

Oh no. Ah, she thinks it’s Kate!! This is horrible.

Interesting that she still doesn’t want to brainsweep her, even though she’s scared.

NO. NO IT WASN’T A GOOD REASON. IT’S KATE!!!!!!

Man, just jumping straight into the deep end with all of the Garrison angst. I love you, Bods, but goodness gracious

I love that Jackson is just screaming at the top of his lungs like a maniac and then immediately drops to (attempting to be) professional when Curtain answers. Love me some Muppet Twins.

Also, side note, I adore how you’ve set it up so they all are guessing, and the suspicion mostly lands on Kate and Reynie. It’s so clever!!! Because everyone is working with different pieces of information, and so they’re making the wrong assumptions. It’s like that one fable with the blind men and the elephant.

NICHOLAS. Even if Milligan had been hurt by the Sender, That Doesn’t Mean You Are At Fault.

(You should know you’re a good author when I spend a good 64% of my time yelling at the characters, because you are just so skilled at writing their thoughts/personalities)

And Miss Perumal’s back!!! Oh, the way you write her is such a wonderful balance of protector and mother, she’d be my favourite to read if it didn’t change every five seconds.

Jeffers!!!

Poor SQ. He’s so hurt and angry but he’s trying to handle it “maturely” and he’s so alone. I want to hug him :(

And the depth you added!!! All the little details and nuances you include, like the stuff about SQ wanting to go to college and Curtain’s anxiety over the whole situation, culminate in such a glorious emotional payoff that gives insight to the character being complex people who pretty much all have a sympathetic side. You are a genius for keeping track of all of it, and the pacing is just masterful.

He lied!! I know it isn’t helping in this direct situation, but I’m so proud of him!! (As opposed to the fairly simple and unadulterated relief I felt when watching the show)

Oh, and then you flip it. I want to root for the kids, obviously, but when you follow up every victory with Curtain’s desperate panic as his carefully crafted world is crumbling down around him, how can I?

And he immediately channels it to “productive” anger. Oh, I am scared for the kids.

Milligan!!!

I love how you can put words to Milligan’s protectiveness without making it seem like he doesn’t care about the other children.

The fact that she immediately fixates on her bucket, instead of even thanking Milligan as I’d guess she normally would, has always stuck with me. Because it is the epitome of Kate’s relationship with her bucket: She needs to have it, it is where she derives comfort and safety, and it just drives me up a wall because it’s what she’s supposed to be getting from him, and what she probably would be feeling if she let herself stop and think about it. But she’s been on her own for so long that she can’t stop and let herself accept the help and reassurance from him. She needs to keep going.

And Milligan just supports her!! He doesn’t really understand the bucket specifically, but he loves her and so he’s willing to help her in whatever way she needs. And, the thing is, he kind of does understand, at least, better than she knows. The symbolism here is amazing, not least because it’s foreshadowing about their relationship. It’s like that one thing, “When you live through something incredibly hard and you survive, you become the person who would have saved you then” or something. Milligan is helping her in the way that he could have been helped, in being caught, in being saved from having to face the cliff and escape alone, and in helping her understand who she is.

It’s just… SO GOOD!!! You communicate it so well, and I keep rereading that bit over and over again because I love it. The emotion that is woven throughout is so intense, and so pure and lovely!! Agh, you have a very good gift with words, my friend.

And he offers to get her a new bucket!! And he tells her how much he loves her!! And how she’s always welcome. You’re going to make me cry :(

The horrible, horrible, beautiful contrast of how much he wants Kate to be loved and valued, and how he keeps thinking about how crazy it is that someone “abandoned” her.

Wait. Wait, Milligan is being reminded of Curtain!!! Oh, Constance and her situation and Kate and it all makes him think of his friend. The element of abandonment again. I— I do not have the words for how I feel about this. But It Is A Lot.

OH. OH YOU THINK THIS IS WHAT IT’S LIKE TO HAVE A PARENT??? KATE??????

Ah, man, it’s heartbreaking that she is weirded out by having someone, specifically an adult, care if she fell off a cliff. That’s, like, The Lowest Bar

I am once again feeling the Milk Urge to consume drywall!!!!!!

She’s so surprised!! She’s totally thrown off that they (and, again, Milligan specifically) would go to such lengths to keep them safe!!! What!!!

You Write The Wetheralls In Such A Way That Makes Me Want To Screech But Please Know That I Am Hugging You As Hard As I Possibly Can In My Mind

Ah, yes, The Blue Beret EventTM

Nicholas is so lost, and he’s just as hurt as Curtain, but he won’t allow himself to see it because he feels so guilty.

And he doesn’t trust himself!!! He is letting other people direct him, but that’s why everything is falling apart. They don’t know the full situation, that’s one of the lonely things about being a genius; you can’t always rely on just anyone, because they don’t see things the way you do. And then Miss Perumal says a new thing and throws him off again!!

Goodness, the way you write that little paragraph of his confusion and confliction is exquisite.

I like the bit about how Miss Perumal needs to go home to her mother! The wording, and Nicholas’ reflection on it really hits home that part of her personality!! (I think you added that, but, regardless, reading through it in your style gives a better perspective on both characters, and their relationship to one another!)

Ajasdhgjkasdghkjdsajk And he’s so worried about Miss Perumal’s family (EXHILARATED with how you had him automatically include Reynie), once again missing the point of how it affects him!!!

The Stenographer!!! I like him. Does he have a name? I feel like it should be… Martin. Or Tyler. Or maybe Raphael. I don’t know, but he’s neat. Sorry for my goofy little tangent, you just have this fantastic skill for making me emotional over side characters and background people, so I’m preparing myself, in case :)

And the way you add in the “Squeak”s!! Ooh, I could feel the agitation and anxiety building in myself just from reading it, and of course, Curtain is going to be super sensitive to that, because he needs everything to be under his control and Just So.

Which leads him to make ridiculous demands of his poor stenographer.

Reynie!! He’s trying so hard to work around all of his worry and tell the truth, even if in little bits.

STOPMINDGAMINGTHECHILDLEDROPHTA

As much as I’d like to give Curtain credit for being a human polygraph machine as he seems to think he is, Reynie is just garbage at lying. So am I, kid, don’t worry about it. But it is funny how the scene can be interpreted either as Curtain being super good at his job and making Reynie nervous, or Reynie doing his best but just being stuck in a situation he isn’t suited for. THIS is what I keep saying about your writing: I sympathise equally with all the characters and am deeply invested in each and every one of them, regardless of if I even remembered they existed from the show.

THE STAR THING IS BACK

(Okay, I know that was from the show, but you keep building up to/creating this star motif and it is driving me bonkers I Love It)

Noooooo, he thinks it’s Nicholas trying to hurt him!!!!! Why must you tear me apart in this way

“Reynie Muldoon was intelligent. He was. Curtain could admit that. But he didn’t have Sticky’s gift” You are so good at balancing all of the characters, it’s insane. Mentioning the other kids when writing from a single one’s perspective or even from an adult’s is so cool, because it reinforces the concept of them being connected, and relying on each other. Oh, man, it’s just awesome to see!!!

Poor Jeffers, he’s just getting put in awkward positions even without his bumbling buffoonery.

NO. Ah, I forgot the Implications of Jackson, Jillson, and Martina being friends, no this is awful

AKJSFHJFKHDDSKJKJHDGSHKJDG BODS

I am going to. Just. Combust on the spot HOW DARE YOU

Okay. Okay I am going to RantTM now and you’re just going to have to DEAL for yanking my heart out by the strings and then stomping it into the ground

Y O U C A N S E E T H E M L O S I N G I T.

You can see, even in such a short bit, how Curtain’s brainwashing is creating a conflict with what they personally have come to believe. They feel betrayed and confused and scared, and the line “Dr. Curtain had always been there for them, and someone as smart and as generous as him would never lie”, but he would!!! AND HE DID!!!!!

And they love Martina, of course, but now that the floor has dropped out from under them they turn to each other, because that’s all they have left. Curtain isn’t going to comfort them, he’s not going to be a source of kindness and support, he’s too Busy And Important. But, they are still, without really thinking about it, going to rely on him even more, because now that Martina “betrayed” them, he’s the only person who has “been there for them” (And, again, we see the sort of mindset they have of being more of a single unit, because of how close they are. They don’t consider each other an outside human, but rather a vital component of themself)

And the fact that they don’t even realise the need to distance themselves from Martina and throw her under the bus is because Curtain is manipulating them and mistreating them!!! They feel like it’s a rational reaction, because of course the man they’ve spent their whole lives working to repay for the fantastic service of occasionally being polite to them is the good guy. When faced with their own facts and decisions, and years of Curtain’s lies, they don’t know where to turn!!!

“Jackson and Jillson lifted their heads and looked sadly at each other. Martina had tricked them into being her friends? Well, they supposed in light of this evidence, there couldn’t be any other explanation” HE’S DOING THE SAME THING HE DOES TO SQ!!!! WHAT!!! HOW CAN YOU BE SO CARELESS TO NOT EVEN GRANT THEM THE KINDNESS OF PRETENDING TO ACKNOWLEDGE THEIR PAIN LIKE YOU DO WITH YOUR OWN SON. NO, YOU JUST DO THE BAD STUFF THAT’LL HURT THEM, BUT BOY WILL IT MAKE THEM COMPLIANT. PRESENTING YOURSELF AS THE ONLY SAFE OPTION DOESN’T MAKE IT LOYALTY

Okay. Going to try and calm down now. But Marie Curie’s Notebook, Bods, did you have to do that to me?

Madge Perspective!!

Constance and Madge rivalry is one of my favourite things to come out of this, and it is slightly making up for the gaping hole in my heart from the last passage

I appreciate that you gave her a reason for not giving the note to Reynie!! This actually makes a lot of sense and works so awesomely with the continuity :D

AND SHE GOES TO TAKE SQ’S SANDWICH I LOVE HER

AND HE RECOGNISES HER THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE

Oh, and now it’s sad again. You’re giving me whiplash with all this, I swear…

Ah, no. I knew this had to happen but it doesn’t make it any less painful, especially to read through in your writing.

Somehow, the fact that “You’re not nice at all” was such a cutting remark for both of the boys speaks volumes about them.

The way you keep leveraging their age differences as something SQ is ashamed of!!! I’ve moved on from the drywall and am unscrewing and consuming my light bulbs. Just— AGH. I can’t think of the words to get this feeling across properly… SQ was being vulnerable, and opening himself up to someone who could really understand him, and now he’s being made to feel ashamed over it for things that are not his fault!! WHAT???

And Reynie is trying so incredibly hard!!!! Oh, this was one of my absolute least favourite parts of the show, it just hurts so much and it reminds me of that bit in the books when SQ tells Sticky that the best thing to do was “not to have cheated in the past”. The best thing would be if they could have somehow avoided this situation, because of how it hurt both of them :(

Nice detail about SQ’s tutors!!

Oh, but the poor boy’s so hurt. AND IT WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN THIS BAD IF CURTAIN HADN’T BEEN INSTILLING SUCH RIDICULOUS CONCEPTS INTO HIS KID FOR YEARS

Jeepers Has Jeeped It Up Again

And now Curtain is spiralling!! Part of me is like “The nerve of him, after he just destroyed several children”, but, alas, your writing has gotten to me again and I actually feel kind of bad for him

Nicholas isn’t laughing at you, you GRASSHOPPER, he’s CRYING because he LOVES YOU

And Garrison is having to bear so much of his anger. It’s that other thing, the one about how you treat people close to you worse because you trust them to love you anyway? Except BAD because they’ve both been through so much it’s just getting wildly more unhealthy by the day

“Now all she could do was hope that whatever psychics and spies were crawling about the Institute were able to get their job done before Curtain found them” It’s so weird how she doesn’t have the information necessary in the slightest, but somehow she’s kind of closer to the truth than Curtain is

(This isn’t important in the slightest, and not to undercut the drama and tension of this scene, but I hate that stupid hallway painting outside Curtain’s office with a PASSION)

Ooooh, the way you sprinkle little hints of doubt into SQ’s thoughts is absolutely fantastic. And painful. Very Painful.

Reynie’s so scared but you know he wouldn’t really blame SQ even if he did get brainswept

The way you added SQ’s backstory with the Helpers!! That’s so cool!! Oh my heavens, I am in love with how you added that!!!!

THIS CHILD IS SO EMPATHETIC WORRY ABOUT YOUR OWN SELF REYNARD

Now, just because I don’t think Reynie, as a small, incredibly stressed child, should be overly worried about SQ doesn’t mean I am not worried, oh my word. This Child!!! Needs A Hug!!!! Now!!!!

Jeeps.

But, the thing is, Curtain is so upset!! And he’s not upset because his Evil Villain Mastermind plan is going awry, he’s upset because the (Astoundingly Unhealthy) coping mechanisms are failing him! It makes me want to Pat Him On The Back, because I don’t think a hug would end well

MAYBE MARTINA WOULD BE FRIENDS WITH HIM IF YOU LET HIM TALK TO PEOPLE

But, really, Curtain would probably hate Martina as an influence on SQ because she’d challenge him

“Would you care to reconsider that answer, son?” And you wonder why the kid’s got trust issues

And this is it!!! Oh, Bods, I am Vibrating. Curtain’s emotional dam is cracking and it’s going to go so terribly but I wish he’d just work it out Lands Sakes Alive

It’s so infuriating that he’s being such a funky little oxymoronic moron and forcing himself not to feel emotions by thinking about people he cares about

AKJFHDHGJKGSDHJGKJGKJKHJGKJHGSKJHDKJHDGSKJSDG

DOCTOR GARRISON????????

I’m going to have a heart attack one of these days, Heavens to Betsy

SQ!!! AND THE SECRET LAB!!!! WHAT IS HAPPENING!!!!

Oh, Milligan is so proud of Kate!! As he should be!! You write him going into these cute detail spirals whenever he thinks about Kate, and it’s so sweet!! I love it :)

Just the small scenes you add to fill in what we see in the show are gorgeous!!! They make me fantastically happy to read

Oh, Jackson and Jillson. They really need to discover their own personalities. Someone please save them from themselves (And Curtain)

(Quick Note: The word “falcon” has a tiny little typo in it. Nothing to worry about, I just thought you might want to know)

ONCE AGAIN. HOW IS CURTAIN ACTUALLY KIND OF CLOSE BUT SO OFF THE MARK??????

Erika!!

BODS I AM SHAKING YOU BY THE SHOULDERS I AM CRYING AND MELTING INTO THE FLOOR THROWING UP FROM THE PURE EMOTION HOW COULD YOU DO THIS I AM ABOUT TO LOSE MY MIND HOW DARE YOU HOW COULD YOU DO THIS THIS IS THE END FOR ME

ASKJKHJDGSKHJDSGKJDGKJGDFKJHFGKJHDGKJHDSGJKL

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I DO NOT HAVE THE WORDS TO ARTICULATE THIS I AM BANGING MY FACE INTO THE WALL BODS PLEASE KNOW IF I WAS EVEN ANYWHERE NEAR YOU I WOULD BE BRAVING THE STREETS TO DRIVE TO YOUR HOUSE AND CRY ON YOUR COUCH. AFTER I EAT ALL YOUR LIGHT BULBS.

The thing about SQ hiding in the woods!! The bird ice cream!!!

THE FACT THAT SQ CAN’T QUITE REMEMBER THE LAST TIME HE WAS GIVEN THE ICE CREAM

NO. I DON’T TRUST HIM “MAILING OUT” THE APPLICATIONS. CURTAIN MAY LOVE HIS SON BUT HE IS OBVIOUSLY HORRENDOUSLY MISGUIDED AND KIND OF COWARDLY OH MY HEAVENS. NIKOLA TESLA AND HIS COILS I AM ABOUT TO LOSE IT.

Okay. Okayokayokayokayokayokayokay. Listen. If this is a pattern (Which it’s seeming pretty likely), then there’s a whole other side that’s probably unintentional!!! Whenever Curtain brainsweeps SQ, which I’m assuming happens every couple of years, then Curtain gets all concerned and is much more careful with SQ because A) He feels bad, and B) SQ is super disoriented and out of it. WHICH MEANS THAT IT REINFORCES IN SQ’S MIND THAT HIS DAD IS THE ONE TO RELY ON WHEN IN STATES OF EMOTIONAL DISTRESS. WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME

Oh, Oh Garrison. You are worth more than just throwing up and downing pain meds to try and get through life.

I wish Milligan, or even Curtain when he was slightly more stable, was there to care about her

(This might be me off on a mad as a March hare tangent, but is there a possibility for Garrison’s headache being because she is also a bit psychic?? I’m probably super wrong, but I am also absolutely bouncing off the walls with all of the Brain Bees you’ve given me)

And Curtain still makes her vegan food. Even though she doesn’t fully get it, and Curtain is being all crazy, he still cares about her it makes me so sad

ASHJHHHJKDSG I’m willing to bet that this is also the first time in a while she’s gotten any compliments at all, aside from the children

She’s trying to be a good person!!! But she’s also awfully conflicted like everyone else in this miserable disaster of a decaying friend group, and so it’s going badly!!! I also feel like someone might need to talk to her about her social struggles, because if she’d just stop trying to force herself to be some kind of muddied idealised hypothetical version of herself, then she might get somewhere

(And also if Curtain got off her back a little. I don’t know, I just feel like it says something about her that she has the easier time talking to children out of everyone else)

Martina!!!

Oh, she’s probably also falling apart because either she’s a fugitive and Jackson and Jillson betray her or she’s absolved and Kate’s in the wrong

The dual reactions!!!! The confusion!!! THE FACT THAT NOBODY ACTUALLY KNOWS WHAT’S GOING ON

ASFKKJDS He’s leaving them in the Waiting Room overnight??? I can’t remember if that happened in the show, but, overkill much??

Oh, and Milligan is having a crisis over being a horrible person, and then has no time to breathe as he’s absolutely panicked over what’s going to happen to Kate

DOCTOR GARRISON????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

…

Bods. Buddy, Bud, Nobody, Bods.

I Am Going To Start Weeping Openly As Soon As I Finish Stealing All Of Your Left Socks

THE SIGNATURE NOBODY GUT-PUNCH ENDING

WHOOOO

I hope you know that I am wrecked, and I will never, ever be able to move past this. Seriously. I am going to remember this fic for the rest of my life, and I am just. Beyond words.

[Despite being at a loss for words, Sophie proceeded to yell and climb the walls for the next forty-five minutes]

I am going to. Just. This is insane!!! You have broken my brain!!! The Bees have been flash-frozen and are dropping like rocks!!! I can’t even process All That.

I NEED YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT I AM ABOUT TO EXPLODE BECAUSE THIS HAS BEEN SO, SO GOOD AND GRAND AND I COMMEND YOU AS A WRITER AND A CREATIVE AND A HUMAN BUT ALSO I AM GOING TO SCREAM NOW

One of these days I’m going to have to write a full-blown essay, or, like, make a PowerPoint about how I have been emotionally devastated because your writing has fully cemented itself as a fundamental part of my personality.

Just. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One of these days I am going to learn the words to get across to you how much this means with me and how Full Of Emotion I Am

Oh, goodness, I need to go to sleep.

I couldn’t wait and I really wanted to read it, but my “reviews” have become less coherent commentaries and more “live” reactions, and there was so much going on that I needed to get all of my thoughts out immediately.

Thank you, thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou, thank you, Thank You, from the bottom of my heart, for this. This chapter, this fic, this entirety of you existing. Thank you so much

Alright, I’m going to try and sleep now, as if I am ever going to recover from this :)

#Did you enjoy watching the light in my eyes die as I worked my way through? /s #For all seriousness though #I am INFATUATED with this chapter #Rotating Microwaving Centrifuging S P I N N I N G #I don't even got the words anymore #You've broken my mental dictionary. Which I will say is quite the feat.#Thank you for this #Quite literally an instance of “You could (and did) deck me in the face and I'd thank you for it”#Ah man I have to sleep now #Thank you once again shutting up now because my brain is overtired and quite broken #s.o.s.#OH! And I shouldn't have to say #But please remember to take time and enjoy yourself!!!#I'm always happy to read whatever you want to share #But you are under no obligation to adhere to a schedule or even to post anything at all :)#Remember you are important!!!!#This wouldn't be any fun if you aren't having a good time too #You are a valued human!! Don't forget!! And don't let silly things like my excess energy pressure you!!!#Okay goodnight

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absensia-archived · 7 months

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I've spoken briefly about this before and, again, it's usually something I leave in the little details of Charlotte's portrayal, but it's really been on my mind lately so I wanted to write out some of the prominent traits that continue to establish that, despite having gradually accumulated more experience, capital, and property over the years, Charlotte remains coded as working-class. It is crucial to both the narrative itself and her actual existence as a vessel for the primordial void, also known as Khaos. This means that she still has no ( legal ) credit cards and continues to thrift almost all her belongings, including her clothes, books, and furniture ( with the exception of shoes and appliances.) If you are someone who regularly meets up with Charlotte, you might begin to notice ( if you are perceptive ) that while she may be variably early, right on time, or show up in some unexpected state, she is rarely ever late and certainly never without a legitimate reason as to why. It is also not uncommon for Charlotte to juggle multiple jobs at the same time, and the only time she'll agree to a single job, at the exclusion of all other work is if she knows that that one job will be worth it. Related to this is the fact that Charlotte has a very hard time saying no to job offers; it's a habit ( read: stress response ) she is trying to unlearn, but it continues to be a struggle. Lastly, despite having successfully taken on leadership roles in the past, Charlotte expresses a strong dislike for being consigned to a "boss" role as she still much prefers to be hands on, in the action, at risk rather than sitting back and letting others do the work. She becomes restless if she finds herself "at the top" or in the position of too much obvious power; recall the adage about how it is lonely at the top, and how isolation is not something that the void's vessel can allow. She needs to be among people; she needs to be present to catalyze chaos. That being said, this doesn't mean that Charlotte simply allows herself to be treated or thrown away as a mere lackey or just another body, but that is still part of the struggle, isn't it?

#you'll also notice that char is very smart about the way she stores and maintains what belongings she DOES have #ie. her money her safe“houses” her work equipment #within the bounds of her control - char doesn't go out of her way to destroy or wreck her own stuff #if chaos happens then there's nothing she can do; and other people's stuff is fair game #but her own shit? she takes care of that shit best she can #it ties into the fact that she doesn't have a set or consistent sleep schedule #but for her work she will be up at the crack of dawn if needed; she will be out all night; she will be up and working days on end if needed #she also enjoys working in teams and if you've ever had to have char as a co-worker u'll know she's actually nice to work with #still untrustworthy still chaotic still annoying as fuck - but also nice #she prefers to work with equals rather than take any kind of control over others. control being the other side of the coin to chaos :')#she's also worked such a HUGE myriad of what society considers labour / “entry-level” / “unskilled” jobs...#...in order to learn from an inconspicuous position.#i could go on and on but like i said - i'll leave in the writing #i'm so proud of my chaos goblin #thinking about how at one point in her timeline she worked and played her way all the way to accidentally taking out a crime boss...#....then IMMEDIATELY did a 180 going “nope not for me” and vanished #too lonely at the top and that's no fun for this one :(#( smth smth the fact that she's just a vessel is too ingrained in her sense of self for her to actually stand out and be leader )#( smth smth even pawn-turned-queens revert back to pawns at the end of the game )#and as always - if you actually read through all this IM SO THANKFUL FOR U MWAH <3

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honeyedwordsandblades · 7 months

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Oh, who would have guessed? Needing to make a separate post all of my own because thirty tags is never enough for all that I have to say, for all that I have to, that I must type out? Me? Nooooo... lmao.

Anyway, here's my tags (and more of course there's always more) that were originally gonna be on silverformymonsters' gifset post of Astarion post-BG3 events sadly reaching his hand into sunlight, about a little imagined moment between him and my tav, Rose, now reformatted into a text post for all of yours' heartbreak and enjoyment.

I know this is a scene after everything. But I like to imagine it's a scene with not just him but also Rose. Not immediately after BG3 events. Not immediately after losing his ability to be in the sun. A bit of time after all that. Some personal quest of their's they're undertaking. Maybe to help him be in the sun again? Maybe something else, like for the 7000 vampire spawn in the Underdark? Maybe to find out more about his past, when he was alive? Of who he was, who family was etc.

Regardless, it's them underground in a cave. Rose is busy with something else. She's talking to Astarion while doing whatever she's doing. And mid-talking she finishes and turns around to see this. To see Astarion back turned to her, facing the sunlight peaking through from above. She stops talking immediately and just watches.

Watches as he reaches his hand out into the sunlight. Watches as he holds his hand out for as long as he can before it clearly hurts too much. Watches as his hand nearly fully turns to a gray ashy stone color, all too ready to crumble and drift away from a slight breeze. Watches as it shakes until he can't anymore, until he suddenly pulls his hand back. His hand immediately changes back to its normal color and appearance once as he does so but the moment is heartbrokenly seared into Rose's mind.

He half turns back to her. Eyes still on his hand. Mind surely still sadly reminiscing about when he very well could be in the sun. After a moment he looks up at her. Eyes staring back in… question, she takes it. As if to wonder why (and when) she stopped talking.

Although, he quickly realizes why. He frustratedly sighs and looks away for a moment (back to the sunlight) before turning back to her. Tells her about how 200 years in shadow he became all but used to the fact he would never see the sun again. Never feel its warmth on his skin. And then he had (a month? a few months? how long is bg3 supposed to take place? lmao) of it. It makes it all the more terrible to go back.

He knows they're looking for a way for him to be in the sun again. He knows that she'll search until her last breath and even then some. And, of course, he greatly appreciates it. She always has given him nothing but marvelous gift after gift. She is a marvelous gift. One that he will always cherish and be grateful for.

…But that doesn't mean he doesn't miss it. Miss the warm embrace of the sun. Miss being out during the day in the sun. ('You can forget just how much colour there is in the world.' She remembers well that odd out of the blue moment while they were in the city. It killed her then as does hearing him speak now about it breaks her heart completely.)

This is the price of his freedom though. Of their happy little life that they have now. He supposes it was well worth it. Even if he does miss the sun terribly. He tries to move the conversation back to why they're here in the first place but Rose refuses to let go of it.

She's immediately got her hands on his face, mouth on his (surprising him - what else is new lmao), fiercely kissing him with all the passion and heartbreak in the world, in the universe. And then wraps her arms tightly around him in a tight hug full of all her heartbreak and love for him.

She knows she's already done so before, but she pledges once again to him that they will find a way for him to see, to be in the sun again. She promises. She swears it.

Every time she's like this- With this fierce determination. This passionate loyalty (especially with him). It always somehow manages to surprise him. Even after all this time.

After a chuckle, he jokes about how she better (keep her word), he does terribly miss their little trysts, seeing her cheeks flush under the sunlight as he-

Okay! Okay. Oooh-kay. That's- That's enough. She immediately lets go of him and she's now changed the subject back to their job at hand.

As much as he doesn't wish to let go of the moment himself either, he still does. He knows she means it. She always has. And always will. And one day... He can't wait to see the sun again, to feel its warmth again, yes. But he can't wait to to see it, be under its rays once again with her. One day they- she will figure this out and he'll get see her beam just as bright as the sun above them. And he cannot wait to see it.

#astarion #tav!rose #man its so good to write all this #to write all the little novels (novellas?) and little essays in the tags of all these posts #i miss creative writing. i miss writing. so much.#and i'll get astarion's voice pinned eventually #i know it's not as difficult as it seems. i know that i (with all the hubris in the world in the universe) can do it. can channel him.#it's just gonna take a little bit of time. mostly just me getting over- well me. and my stuff that im going through. i just need to get out #my head (and into his). that's all.#anyway if you've read all this: omg thank you! thank you for taking the time to read it #this is just me lost in a daydream with our beloved vampiric elf #so i appreciate anyone who takes the time to read any of my little stupid reveries. much appreciated darlings ;) <3

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jeoseungsaja · 1 year

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* EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE ( HYUK / ARC TWO. )

bold whatever applies to your muse. italicize the things that only somewhat apply / are verse dependent. REPOST , DON’T REBLOG.

#me while filling this out: lmao son you need help #I'M AIUDHWUIEDH #HE'S JUST....GONE THROUGH A LOT IN THIS VERSE #IT DOESN'T HELP THAT I WAS SOBBING WHILST READING MYUNGDAE'S IEWUDHIWEHD #SOS WHEN ARE THEY GOING TO BE AT LEAST 5% HAPPY IN THIS VERSE THEY'VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH (WEEPS)#ONE DAY --- //ONE DAY//#Also the 'watched your world die/disappear' ---#is this because Patrick was a //big// part of this world he //adored//---well---yeS---IUWEHDIUWEHDIUH #and 'had your heart broken'...to put it 'lightly' because he felt like everything inside him was obliterated/shattered when he lost Patrick-#DON'T MEAN TO PUT MORE SALT TO THE WOUND OR ANYTHING I'M JUST FEELING SO FREAKIN' MUCH IWEUHDIUWEHD MY HEART #also his recklessness has gotten him some...bad experiences (TM) he could've avoided smh #ANYWAY IWEHDIWUEDH HERE IT IS #THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TAGGING ME IN THIS ONE DEAR FERRE <3 HOPE YOU'VE BEEN DOING SUPERB ;WWWWWW;#♔ || about (verse three | arc two).#♔ || queue.

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tianhai03 · 2 years

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hey everyone. im not here to post art right now, i just have something on my mind that i kinda wanna ramble about, which i’ll put under a read more below bc its really long lol. i know this is kinda sudden but i promise its nothing serious. stick around if you’re somehow interested in listening to my ramblings, if not then thank you for reading this anyway, and thanks for all your continuous support :)

i cant remember the reason why anymore, but a couple minutes ago i felt like going through all the blogs ive followed on here. i only follow like 276 blogs if i remember correctly, it’s not much considering how i’ve been here since 2015. i probably felt like looking through it because i was reminded of an artist i follow here and i wanted to see if they’ve updated anything, i have no clue lol.

anyways i looked through the list, and i found a lot of artists ive followed since my early days in 2015, when i first started posting art. some i still remember fondly, some i have vague memories of, and others... i just dont recognize anymore. the only thing im sure of is that they were all artists i looked up to very much, artists who have also definitely motivated me to keep drawing just so i can be as good as them someday. im confident enough to say that ive gotten close to a lot of their levels already, and i am now very comfortable with drawing in a style that is uniquely my own. i have all these artists to thank for that.

but... another thing ive also realized is, most of them arent posting anymore. some have already stopped before i myself stopped tumblr briefly in around 2019, but a lot of them stopped at that exact same year. it makes me kinda sad, i remember looking forward to these artists’ drawings often, but a lot of them just kinda dipped out of existence 3 years ago, without other social medias that i can check to make sure theyre still around. it made me think about how hellish every year has been starting from 2019, it mightve only been 3 years but it sure felt like its been a decade. all i can do right now is hope that they’re still okay, somewhere in the world, still safe and still doing whatever they love.

and on the same note, i hope every single person who is still following me, who still constantly come up to this crumbling website, maybe even look forward to me posting my art; i hope you guys are doing well too. i know there are a lot of people who were from my old 2018 dmc days (since i came back to the fandom just half a year ago and a lot of people started checking up on me again), some of you guys were probably even from my earliest 2016 undertale days; whether you followed me 6 years ago or just today, i want to thank you guys, from the bottom of my heart, for always giving me kind support on the things i do. i am not joking when i said i wont be here right now if it werent for you guys. thank you so, so much.

#guess i just felt like getting sappy today.#im sorry if this makes anyone anxious; i promise i am totally okay and nothing bad is happening to me #it's just... sometimes you look back on your life to remember the things you've done that led to the life you have today #ive been doing that a lot lately. and i just wanted to talk about what ive thought about #i actually feel a lot better thinking about things like this. it reminds me of the reason why i started drawing in the first place #with how things have been lately especially with my own uni life; it gets so frustrating its very easy to forget why i liked drawing so much #but im not gonna forget about it now; even if i stop drawing someday i'll forever hold on to these memories #i probably sound like a broken record now but; genuinely; thanks for everything i really do appreciate it #allyrambles #long post #if youve read till here #through this long ass post ive been writing for over 30 minutes now #do me a favour and talk to a long time friend you have that you havent talked to in a while #yknow the ones. you were super close but then you just slowly stopped talking to each other? even though nothing bad happened?#do me a favour and just shoot them a message. a short one will do #even a little 'hey we havent talked in a while; just wanted to check up on you and make sure youre still okay' is enough #times are tough right now. it has been for the past 2 years for everyone #if you can do it; im sure it will brighten someone's day up; to know that theres someone out there who still cares #someone will appreciate the kindness #im gonna go now. this post has gotten way longer than i expected and its almost time for bed #i hope everyone has a decent day :) thanks again for reading #hopefully i dont regret this someday lol

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