Oh my god... I just realized I forgot to watch season 3 of Chucky.

ok no im so tired but ive had this Thing a Laughingstock Concept Thing in my Brain for Days Now and its.... basically what if Barnaby adopted a lil caterpillar. like it's not sapient or anything its literally A Wriggly Puppet Prop. but he finds it in his home and it reminds him of Howdy and he keeps it. he carries it everywhere. he treats it so tenderly and names it and everything. his delusional smitten subconscious is like "omg... mine & howdy's <3" he and Howdy are not even together at this point

so Barnaby cares for this lil caterpillar and Howdy ends up getting attached as well, because he's on the same shit as Barnaby. and eventually the lil caterpillar pupates, and they watch over the chrysalis So Excited to see what lil wormie will look like as a butterfly. and it emerges and they're so proud and weirdly emotional. the butterfly takes off on its first flight and lands on a flower patch

just in time for Eddie to trip and fall on the patch, instantly crushing it And the butterfly

💞🐶 Day 1 - Puppy 🐶💞

I'm a little late to toddallace week, but I hope you still like this🥺💗🌸

I DON'T HAVE TO LIE ANYMORE!

Ya girl is the kind of dumb of ass idiot who is like, now that the big scary interview is over, is like...oh god what if I DO get the job? It's smthn I want and would be good at etc etc etc but also it would be a lot more work than my current position where I'm, lbr, fucking around out of boredom alot. I'd have REAL responsibilities! Actual challenges! Unions! Benefits! Better pay so I can move out! Way more professional development and experience opportunities but also way more areas to fuck up by being part of a bigger team and part of a significantly larger institution. Like. What if I am stupid and dumb and crack under the stress or my attention span gets bad and suddenly I'm incapable of doing the work, despite it being smthn I /want/

Ofc this is entirely hypothetical, esp bc I'm rethinking everything I said today and beating myself up about how much better I couldve answered xyz questions, the usual post interview anxiety, and I won't find out abt this job til the new year and part of me is like oh I've got it in the bag and part of me is like well ofc you fucked up and aren't gonna get it

on the good news train today: I have finally finished the last chapter(!!!) of my Inklings challenge story, which marks the FIRST ever Inklings challenge story I've ever completed properly :'D coming in at 30,810 words (yikes) (it did get out of hand, I must admit), it is definitely not a short story, but it IS a piece that I think articulates a lot of what I've been thinking about lately re: love and death, and, considering everything, is probably something I needed to write. I am very happy!! It has been a wild ride, but a deeply clarifying one.

who in the torchwood team would hate nardole the most.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THIS LOSER🎉🎉🎂🎁

wordless version plus what ben looks like behind sam

What if i posted the 07 testament anthology scans today. I dunno. We’ll see after therapy

my daily routine: i'm extremely anxious for about 90% of the day and i feel like i can't do this anymore and then i get like. 1 hour of clarity (post-finishing a task) and i'm like okay maybe i'll get through this somehow. and then the horrors start again

"Do you not realize it? Do you... truly not see what this means?"

The next Destiny Bond update is in progress! ❄️✨ –> Check out the latest part here 🔷 –> New to the series? Follow from the start! 💜

MAN I don’t know what it is about Sumeru but they are hitting HARD with these World Quests. These storylines have got to be my absolute favorite so far, they’re SO unbelievably good???

Holy shit. Thank you guys for all of the asks. I got exactly 50!

I meant to respond to them when I got home from work last night, but I didn’t have enough energy by the time I was done reading these. I’m still incredibly exhausted today, it’s like all of the energy is completely sapped out of me since I was in the emergency room the other day.

The heavy ache in my chest definitely lessened while I was focused on reading what you guys wrote last night. The reminders that my TF F/Os still love me is something I really need to hear, something I probably have to tell myself multiple times... I spent so long being conditioned to believe otherwise.  

A few of you also reminded me that Starscream had gone through heavy abuse, and he wouldn’t support someone who treated me the way Megatron treats him. It helped me feel better... I think that’s what got through to me the most. I’ve seen so many commissions/fics my ex-friend showed me where she was being manipulative, and that she would be loved for it. Seeing all of that visual representation of her being so tenderly loved by these characters while she was hurting me at the same time, for so many months, it really did some damage and made me internalize the belief that all transformers characters would want to hurt me the same way and love her for it. Especially when the characters she commissioned and talked about the most often were forming into PTSD triggers. For almost a year now, I have just assumed that all of those characters she wrote and commissioned, including Starscream, would encourage her to hurt me and that they would love to see me getting hurt. I don’t choose to feel this way, it’s just... trauma. 

But a few of you wrote about how... canonically, Starscream was so fucking pissed when he was abused, especially in RiD2015!! He was so broken up and angry just like I am!! His entire 3 episodes focused on him repeating how unfairly he was treated, how much he wanted to hurt Megatron for all the times he was put through emotional/physical pain, how years had passed since he escaped being tied to his abuser and yet he was so, so angry and still worried that he wasn’t strong enough bc that is what he was conditioned to believe for millions of years. I want to think that same bot would look at me and see himself in me, and hold my hand through this and tell me it’s gonna be okay and it’s gonna get better and he’d never want to treat me the way my abuser treated me. How could he bear it if his little starflower looked at him the way that he looks at Megatron? I don’t want to think he would support my abuser’s actions, no matter how many fics or commissions she has stating otherwise. When I escaped a toxic situation with someone else 3 years ago, I turned to Starscream for this exact same reason, I looked to him for support. He helped me get through it. Now, I need him again after facing treatment that was absolutely horrific, except I’ve been conditioned to believe he would hurt me too; I just feel so sad when I look at him and I wish I could feel loved by him again. It’s been really, really, really hard. Hearing other people tell me that he loves me and would never want to hurt me really helps, I need to be reminded of that, because I absolutely can’t believe it when I try to tell myself.

I’m sorry I’m not able to respond to your asks at the moment, I’m extremely exhausted from. everything. Today has been difficult as well so I will be offline for the rest of the night. I don’t know if I’ll be online tomorrow. 

I’m not 100% sure when the commissions will open up, I was really hoping it would happen this week but I didn’t expect to have that panic attack Tuesday, it really drained me. I am hoping that I’ll have comms open by next week, it all depends on how I’m feeling. I might spend more time offline to limit seeing any potential triggers bc I’ve been very fragile since I went to the emergency room, things that normally wouldn’t make me spiral before are probably things that I will have more trouble handling right now, at least until I can calm down again. Normally it takes me about 3 to 5 days to calm down from a severe panic attack like that. But I gotta spend another $400 on new glasses tomorrow morning so... I really do need to open comms soon :’) They will absolutely be open within the next 2 weeks, I just don’t know exactly when. Anyway, thank you guys again for the nice messages, I really needed them and you helped me feel less alone last night ❤

my only real problem with this album right now is the promo around it because she really did have the girls thinking they were gonna get vulnerable heartbreaking glimpses into her nighttime private thoughts... poetry if you will.... no <3 

starting the week off ✨wrong✨