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minuy600 · 6 months

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A Quick Look at all Games on the Kruidvat Famiclone (Part 3)

I live for this shit, as John Justice would say. Despite not really finding myself too motivated to make blogs at the moment, this dinky ass handheld keeps calling my name. Regardless of it's extremely cheap build quality, I find myself extremely charmed with the design, some of the bootlegs and the Kruidvat packaging. Junk food gaming at it's finest.

#017 - Fairy 2001

Behold, a game I actually played in remade form! Dunno how you could spin 'Blaster Master' into 'Fairy', but hey, at least I recognise a lot about this game. Blaster Master Zero's first level is really close to the original's.

A giant 'Let's Go!' replaces the visual of Jason going out on his mission, way to make the story more interesting. This Fred censorship will not be tolerated.

Sophia looks like a turtle, shooting angry blue guys whilst the music is the original being flipped upside down. Now this is a new high of weird edits in bootlegs. Even comes included with the puke colors this system appears to use for all their more elaborate junk.

#018 - Happy Angel

Sorry, Happy Angel

Legend, as the game calls it, features a happy Teletubby, a pensive Teletubby and a winking Teletubby as they attempt to rescue Babs Bunny from blue Mickey Mouses. ...Did a 12 year old sneeze on Wattpad and make a game from it or something?

Good game by the way, would like to try Tiny Toon Adventures in non-fucked up form someday.

#019 - Inclement Trip

More like InCREment Trip, as you start this hack of Super Spy Hunter on level 2 instead of level 1. If you like having a power trip (hahaaaaaaaaaaa), you play as a guy in a jetpack blowing up all kinds of vehicles, including cars and helicopters.

#020 - Raider

Another Famicom hack which is neat, this time it's Saint Seiya that gets a hilarious Engrish translation. With the heroes Bik (hello Jerome), Roal, Mier (Dutch for ant) and Dum (the only playable female??? Nice sexism guys) in tow, you first play through a level.

Once you got that figured out, some random soldier tells you 'You haven't enough power,go!'. Displeased as you are of course, you yell 'Die to shame!' back as you duke it out in a tutorial battle. Which according to the soldier, is 'too absurd' and 'now unallowed!'. Pfft, laws, am I right.

#021 - Rosker

Oh ye gods, it's spreading. Now you play as Mario with a TELETUBBY HEAD. The Teletubbies on the title screen also have 'Y2K' on their chest, which only makes it scarier. The first boss is a frickin' Star Wars sandworm. Creepypasta games before creepypastas existed, huh?

The realisation that this is a hack of Joe & Mac settles in when you get rewarded for your efforts in the list of 'Best Cavemen'. Thanks, I know i'm ooga booga.

#022 - Soldier-Boy

This soldier boy is gonna partake in some Wacky Races. While looking more like a karateka than a soldier. Can karate moves be used in a war I wonder? Most early enemies are pink sludges and SMB3's Nipper Plants if they grew legs.

#023 - Space Soldier

Holy sh*t, Roal has returned! He has been called into action as planets suffer from severe climate issues like consuming storms or weirdies!!!! The Cock asks the amazing space soldier to eggwalk, which he (or she apparently, there's a female portrait in use the one time we see them up close) gladly obliges to.

Infamously, this Bucky O'Hare hack kills you when an enemy hits you even once. That's because of an anti-piracy gimmick by Konami, as the title screen got changed up a bunch, like you would expect them to.

#024 - Storm-1

Do I even need to say anything? This is peak. Cowards won't allow there to be an episode of Tiny Toon Adventures where Buster is a stoner and loses his marbles.

Conclusion

Next time, we'll cover not THE final games, but the last ones that are hacked from games that have some meat on their bones. After that, expect a style change with how I do these things.

#minuy600 #retro gaming #famiclone #famicom #nintendo entertainment system #bootleg #temu garbage #review #bargain bin

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bloodclotbitch · 2 months

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Imagine being a slave worker in a sweat shop making fidget toys for westerners that should’ve been aborted dude I fucking can’t deal with it

#like I think that every time I see some stupid temu shit I’m like are the workers making it like this is the dumbest shit who’s buying this #why am I being enslaved to make literal garbage #it makes me feel deeply embarrassed

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confetti-critter · 1 month

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The night is young and I am free to do whatever my heart desires but unfortunately I have once again found myself trapped in the Time Prison and so I

#the good old 'I don't feel like doing anything including doing nothing and I want to go to bed but I know I'm not tired'#WEH.#I'm enjoying typing but I don't want to commit to practicing typing for real so I'm just making excuses to type more #I was looking at custom ESC keycaps because I was thinking about that whole community of ppl obsessed with keyboards and like I get it I #like the clicky clacking and keyboards can look so pretty but some of those key caps man wtf.#why would you want 3D transparent donald duck ESC key from temu what is wrong with you #saw a set of key caps that were little kittys with little kitty ears n I was like fuuuuuuuuuck #49.00 USD probably 100000 CAD+shipping goto helllll #I was thinking about what if I had like confetti keycaps and a custom kittycake esc key or like an actual little cake and matching desk mat #or even just a new cute mousepad cuz mine is old as fuck and I spilled vegetable cream stew on it once #and then I was thinking like sighhh and wouldn't it be cool to have arcade carpet on the stairs leading down to my basement hovel and #rainbow lights along the ceiling corners and what if I painting my bedroom like I wanted to do and sighhhhh #I haven't been wasting my money buying shit like that but I'm thinking about it again.#but the same thing stopping me from doing anything at all is stopping me from wasting my money which like that's good I guess???????#gosh I really like typing why did I stop doing daily typing practice #oh yea The Thing Stopping Me From Doing Anything At All #meow meowm meow meow meow #ok I really gotta tear myself away from my computer and brush my teethses and try going to bed #I already played minecraft earlier it's fine I didn't do NOTHING tonight it just feels like I did #and tomorrow is another day #and next week is a short work week thank fucking christ almighty #literally cuz its easter sunday and he was in that tomb but he escaped or whatever he did #thanks jeezy boy #you maybe shoulda milked it for like half a week at least #moved the big ass boulder like have an inch at a time #*pause for laughter*#that s from my new stand up comedy routine do uiuop like it djfskll;askjdgflksjdflksajdflksjdf the dsjalkjfolidasfgjoiweljsdalkjflskdjflak #meowww #I am the only one I know on here who 'talks' this fucking much about absolutely nothing #I do all this and my poor followers can click read more and spend time reading alllllll this garbage

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crtvirus · 6 months

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#mothers will be like ''im doing this for you because i love you'' and then proceed to scream at you all of the time and treat you #like you're a fucking child when you are a grown adult with your own ability to make choices #i know i sleep at awful times but it's to fucking avoid her constant relentless abuse. and now shes putting a timeout on the internet which #is the only place i fucking feel safe. and i dont see myself getting out of here at any point soon because i have no fucking job #the only way out seems mighty tempting right now!#and of course her only solution is more control. more power. because if shes not in power of someone then her sad fucking life has #no meaning otherwise i guess!#all she fucking talks about is buying shit off of temu and wish like no fucking wonder we have no money #instead of using that money for proper grocery shopping she spends it on garbage #and then judges Me for what i spend my money on #i actually hate her so much it fucking hurts. why cant i have a fucking reasonable mother who treats me like an adult and doesnt belittle m #and treat me like a fucking child all of the time.#vent #sorry for all of this i'm just actually at my last straw

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lazeecomet · 10 months

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Oh TEMU, your trying so hard to appeal to me

Unfortunately im not sure you know what any of those words mean and how they relate to a hot water heater

#temu is trash and needs to die #but its ads are funny garbage so at least thats something #something has to fill the void that the wacko tumblr adds had left behind

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ramseyr · 11 days

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Fuck off temu

#temu shopping #temufinds #temu #bunch of fucking scuz buckets #stop advertising for temu #they are garbage

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itsbansheebitch · 6 months

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I hate modern shopping

I hate how we are practically forced to buy clothes online now. I want to hold it in my hands. I hate how cheap on low quality clothes are today. I hate that production rates and profit come before people's wellbeing.

I hate Shein for brainwashing us into thinking a shirt should cost less than $5 when it's been clear for a while that their products are usually chock full of lead and new allegations say Shein is using actual slave labor

I hate Temu for bringing expected prices even lower and selling negative ion (which might protect you from 5G but certainly doesn't help on the radioactive front) items. For selling cheap garbage and trying to tell us they're a company.

I hate Shein and Temu for basically forcing underage influencers to take sponsorships so they can get out of bad financial situation.

I hate Amazon, but not their workers

I hate Etsy, but not their shop owners

I hate modern shopping. I'm tired of the labor violations. I'm tired of the bs and the hoops you have to jump through to find a company that doesn't use child labor.

I hate that pay is bad enough that people are forced to work for people like Shein, Temu, Amazon, etc.

I hate that we aren't paid enough to buy even mediocre quality products. I hate that about ~19 people for every 10,000 in America is homeless and 40% of homeless people have jobs. I hate that we are considered entitled when all we want is an apartment and to maybe be treated like human beings at work.

Anyway here's my personal good but expensive recommendation:

Sheep Inc clothing will last decades at least. They have a repair service which you can use for life.

This isn't a paid ad I just like their business model

Btw, don't even get me started on Nestle

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itstimetodrew · 4 months

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I know it's a Boomer complaint but like. So many things are just becoming garbage now. Metaphorical and physical garbage.

The internet filling with bots and AI programs swallowing and regurgitating and training off of each other's nonsense until search engines can't accurately answer a simple question.

Lower quality meat and produce shipping to grocery stores, coupled with more foodborne illnesses.

The rise of 'bin stores' where shoppers sift through mounds of returned, unwanted, and broken items in hopes of a rare gem.

Gentrification of thrifting and shopping for secondhand items, where gently worn items become "vintage" and are sold for like-new prices, leaving thrift stores with worse quality clothing.

Similarly, fast fashion getting faster with online retailers like Shein and Temu.

Planned obsolescence continuing, of course. More expensive technology that has a shorter lifespan made with lower quality materials.

People not even considering answering a phone call from an unfamiliar number because there's a 95% chance it's a robocall or scam.

So much noise and so much junk. Many different issues, many of them with the same root cause. I don't have a solution here I just need to express how TIRED I AM OF GARBAGE.

#and like. at this point for some things you have to pay for the PRIVILEGE of avoiding the garbage!!#i know it's because capitalism I know. infinite growth and monopolies leave more people clamoring for worse scraps.#but sometimes I really just sit and think like. damn. I can't even get shit as good as I used to 15 years ago.#and if I could it would be seen as something premium instead of the norm.

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minuy600 · 7 months

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A Quick Look at all Games on the Kruidvat Famiclone (Part 2)

Cuz I can't get enough of messed up 8-bit sprites.

First of all, I checked Temu for retro consoles for the funny and I kid you not, these handhelds are quite literally one of the first results you'd get. Seems like our stores bought these and it's variations in bulk and slapped their own box together. Intriguing to say the least.

After a bit of research, i've discovered that someone's made a video before of this specific hardware, lemme share that rq

youtube

As it turns out, the first 28 games on this journey are going to be the more complex of the bunch, featuring ROM hacks of games with a mapper chips that isn't just the original one from the early 1980s. Doesn't mean the rest of the games aren't hilarious in themselves, but the games they're based on will be a bit more predictable overall.

With that outta the way, here's the vast majority of those remaining 20 'big' games in my own words! Check the video (and part 2) if you wanna see footage.

#009 - Boy Sport

A ROM hack of another Famicom game, Downtown Nekketsu March Super-Awesome Field Day. What's interesting about this one is that it skips multiple menus to get to the game. The sprite changes come down to everyone having helmets that cover their faces, so that you can only distinguish them by their pants colors.

Still an interesting novelty that it was fully translated into (horrible) English.

#010 - Racing Car

A ROM hack of Race America. Has the most bootleggy menu screens of all times, you wouldn't expect this to be based on a real game by the way it looks initially. Seems like the game is fairly in-depth, but I don't care one bit to actually play it right now.

#011 - Mad Foot Ball - The World Club of Soccer League

A ROM hack Kunio-kun no Nekketsu Soccer League. Don't even get me started on this one. You start with an off-center title screen that reads 'Goal3', cuz it's another bootleg of a bootleg of course.

Then a Teletubby flaps his mouth and says nothing, remarkably close to the real thing. The game itself isn't THAT radically different... except every instance of the game having to translate Japanese text ends up in complete gibberish, including player names. Ever wanted to play as Korean superstars 'Cflu' and 'Morx', disguised as characters from a baby show? There you go, very much worth it.

#012 - Ares

A ROM hack of Captain America and the Avengers. You play as some fat guy cosplaying as the titular superhero as everyone confuses him for the real thing. The music resets every time you kill an enemy, making sure you remember the days of the Intellivision doing that exact thing in Donkey Kong Jr.

...I'm pretty sure the enemies are just Contra soilders.

#013 - Justice

I can hear Vinny's impression of Duke Nukem from a mile away. In fact, the guy on the title screen looks similar to the Dukester himself. Huh. Enter the game annnnd... it's the first game that I can't actually identify?

Yeah, you kinda walk forward at a sluggish pace, while hard-to-identify enemies speed towards you. Their color palettes are all off, while the background looks stripped right from Castlevania. I have no idea what this is. With the title screen being very simple and the way you enter the game extremely quick, something tells me this is one of those games specifically made FOR these Famiclones.

Someone wanna help me out with this one?

#014 - Caesar Captain

Fun quirk, James Bond Jr. exists. This is that game with pukey colors and the protagonist vaguely resembling a captain. Woa

#015 - Dream World

You know a game is good when the logo starts squashed, and then unsquahes itself with FANCY EFFECTS. ...It also has a Cptions menu. How do you pronounce THAT one I wonder?

This is a ROM hack from Kick Master, with someone absolutely destroying the flute in the soundtrack. Apparently, Mario also shows up as an enemy somewhere along the line. Must've been his spotlight taken away if this was originally like, Mario 18 or something.

#016 - Woody Story

Licensed by Nhoooooooooooooooooooooooooden.

Ya like Toy Story so much, you wanna see it on NES? ...Too bad, this is The Jungle Book instead. For some reason, they decided to make the options menu dysfunctional. Everything else is the same as always. No Woody in sight.

Conclusion

Sorry for taking a week for the second part to come out aaaaaa. I'll be more on the case as i'm trying to not obsess over F-Zero 99... *as* much. I'll see you guys soon.

#minuy600 #famiclone #famicom #nintendo entertainment system #bootleg #retro gaming #temu garbage #review #bargain bin

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kiefbowl · 3 months

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omg or temu (and all of those similar sites). some of my coworkers will come in and show us their most recent stupid temu purchases and it's so hard to fight the urge to be like "congratulations on spending only $2 on the most useless cheap looking plastic garbage". like what is the point?

right??? did you need a water bottle with your astrology sign on it?? go get some mason jars some glitterglue and you're set for life pass those on to your grandkids

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noaura · 2 months

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what's up with boomers and buying temu garbage. well young people fall for it too but does anyone else have experience with aging relatives + rampant consumerism combined with buying temu/amazon/wish/shein stuff

#mother is a hoarder i wish i hadn't given her my address...#i keep telling her NOT to spend her money because i will not use/wear anything she sends me #which is a whole other issue... she hasnt spent any time around me really so she has no idea what my sense of personal style or taste is #so she will literally blow hundreds of $$$ on my dads disability check buying temu stuff for herself and then shipping some of it off to me #like girl i do not want this lead infested tank top that is 3 sizes too big...#cant wait until that bitch dies shes going straight to the medicaid state funded nursing home as soon as my lovely father passes away

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apas-95 · 4 months

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is temu actually significantly worse than pinduoduo or do foreigners just not know how to use ecommerce and end up buying garbage

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safetynot9uaranteed · 2 months

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"Gas stoves can emmit more benzene than second hand smoke"

Benzene is not even amoung the most significant carcinogens in tobacco smoke.

Guys watch out for benzene scares it seems to be a recent tool of propaganda and corporate warfare. You can tell because almost every every new plastic object off gases benzene that gives it a new plastic smell and nobody is posting a benzene scare article telling you to buy less temu garbage and polyester shirts. Since that would hurt corporate interests.

I don't want to overstate the effects of benzene either almost all smoke contains benzene. Suggesting we should emancipate humanity from ever experiencing open flames again is insane. Benzene is everywhere and journalist seems determined only openly identify it when they want to attack a product brand for profit or even a technology for environmental reasons.

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luxwing · 9 months

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I keep seeing ads for temu on here and I wanna say my aunt buys garbage from there constantly and she's had her credit card number stolen three times since she downloaded that app. Something to think about.

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hanavesinauttija · 10 months

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I make a comment about the non-sustainable and otherwise poor business practices of Temu and I immediately start getting ads from them.

No, I don't want a flimsy plastic vegetable chopping unitasker. I have a decade-old chef's knife I use for everything.

No, I don't want a t-shirt for only 2.09. I have hand-me-downs, thrift hauls, and ones I've bought from reputable brands that'll last me a decade or more.

No, I don't want a pair of shoes that'll disintegrate within a year. I paid out the ass for the shoes I have right now - they'll last me my entire life.

I hate fast fashion. I hate mass-produced garbage. I hate plastic.

Have some pride in what you make.

#buy it for life

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epilepticsaints · 6 months

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I almost bought a really bad taste jacket from Temu. It was like an anime cool jacket for a demon hunter or something like that. Everyday I hear something about that infernal site, Temu. People can't even cancel an order because they're Chinese and there's no contact info or customer service phone number. You look at the bank transactions of that hellish cheapo sht garbage and the number is "000-000-0000" I kid you not, I've seen it.

#temu #racism

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