To everyone who has ever said my Ted looks good, I’ll give you my little art secret: every time I draw him I have to take a good long look at my sketch and go “did you add enough wrinkles? Did you give him enough of a tummy? Did take the time to draw his neck waddle :/ ?” And then I go back and add some more of all that

...how do you even answer someone you haven't spoken to in over 12 years when they randomly get in touch?

once again trying to figure out how to draw jason and i think he deserves to have just something a tad bit strange going on with him 

Guess who just got promoted at work 😎 (<- is terrified of taking on more responsibility)

I might just have to make a new oc for dawnguard bc honestly none of my current skyrim ocs would have any interest in joining 🤔

Anyway, sorry not sorry for all that dash spam. 😅

I figured loser is the one you love the most, like "I love that loser." And Sami is absolutely a princess, Cody could be labeled as a princess, but he has been involved with so many ships throughout the years so I thought "slut" was more than fitting.

Fun development, my activity log on mobile is no longer showing every new follow, is missing a full day of notifications actually, and my activity log is fully how I previously blocked and reported all the bots, and I jumped from mid 3400s to 3500+ followers in the span of three days and I am incredibly annoyed at even the idea of hopping into my followers list to try to weed out the bots, like optimistically 1 in 5 of those 50+ is a real human person and now I gotta take EXTRA steps to figure that out? Nah, brah, I am le tired.

John after decorating the outside of church with flowers: Hmm... it’s missing something... ah yes!

*10 mins later*

John: It’s perfect :’) *stares fondly at crows nailed to church doorway in an arch*

(goes into a character search for a non-micronation character for the first time in my life) damn yall you live like this? /POS /IMPRESSED /ENVIOUS

this is going to sound self-absorbed probably but my brain is just full of beans rn and i just need to process these things one at a time

(there is a lot to process in general so i guess i will work on it)

i love love love all those posts about like -- how we leave impressions on each other even long after we've gone separate ways, or how we're all just sort of blends of the people we loved and loved us, et cetera. and the longer i look, the more i see it in myself, even if things went wrong:

i still make ramen the way my ex-bff from grad school taught me how to. i leave all phone calls in the same way i have since i was a teenager, when my friends and i used to watch silly youtube videos. i fold clothes like my grandmother does. i overenunciate my sounds when i'm eating, just like my mom does, and we've all teased each other about it for years but it's a part of me too. my sister basically handed me my first big special interest, one i carry with me to this day. i still read old fanfic that internet friends rec'd and hold onto old playlists.

i used to be scared that i was nothing but these little pieces of others but i'm trying to see it as something precious.

but i guess i just don't feel like -- i've done the same for other people? nothing significant, nothing that i can really clock for any extended period of time, besides things we maybe shared together. i guess the problem moreso is that i struggle to keep track of my existence in proxy to other people. i am still learning, every day, that people watch me the way i watch them. learned a lot of that while i was on christmas vacation, home with my friends.

the other side of that is: i can clock so many things i've done wrong, like even if people no longer think about me, it sticks in the corners of my mind that i caused problems. that i was obtrusive and abrasive and will probably always be, in one way or another, no matter how hard i work to heal myself and do better than i've done before. none of it matters when i'm continually being swallowed by a guilt i cannot resolve.

i'm not looking for validation or w/e, i guess i'm genuinely just curious if anybody else feels this way. but i'm also throwing this out into a ravine so it's mostly just for me.

Ah yes, the age old 'am I unpopular and no one remembered' orrrr am I cursed to forever share my birthday with a country so everyone is too busy camping and hiking and doing BBQs.

Finally able to draw 🥹

Behold

A baby! A birthday baby!! 🐥🎉🎂

Seeing everyone praise an author in the comments of a TikTok and I’m wondering if I just read one of her duds or if I just didn’t “get it”

Changing my major AGAIN third times a charm right

😔