#svu won't let her do it
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Hii! Can I request alex cabot x reader where they fall inlove during law school but then after they graduate they had to leave eachother for different law firms. Then after a few years, they finally meet again because of a case and give eachother a second chance? thank you!!
Second Chances
Alex Cabot x Reader (Fluff)
Warnings: Normal SVU topics (rape, murder, assault)
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Stepping foot through the grand entrance of Harvard, your nerves kicked in, your skin flushed and sweating slightly as you looked around at the bustling corridors. To say your was nervous was an understatement as you came here without knowing anybody.
As you arrived at your first lecture, you sat towards the back of the classroom in order to hide and conceal yourself from many of the other students there. Part way through the lecture, the doors burst open to reveal a blonde girl, flushed and panicking, sweat glistening on her forehead, revealing the sprint that she had endured to try and get to the lecture on time.
"So you must be Miss Cabot. You're late!" The lecturer gave the girl a stern glare, which even you felt despite being nowhere near them both.
"I'm sorry, sir. I couldn't find the classroom." She explained.
"Don't let it happen again. Sit down."
The girl looked at her surroundings, taking note of the only empty seat being next to you. She walked over, lugging her briefcase over shoulder onto the desk infront of her with a huff. She took a seat and got her equipment out infront of herself, hastily taking notes from the board at the front of the class.
The lecturer droned on throughout the class hall, however the groan of many student gained your attention back to the front, where it was evident that the tutor was already giving you all an assignment and pairing up everyone in the class. He told you that you would be in a pair with the girl that arrived late and that he expected the work to be done for next week's lesson.
You sighed, knowing that the girl would most likely be unreliable, however the she turned to face you with a nervous smile on her face and her hand outstretched for you to shake.
"Hi, I'm Alex. I know you think that I'm not reliable and you're worried about doing this assignment on your own, but I can assure you that today was an honest mistake and it won't happen again." She smiled as you took her hand, the spark fluttering through making her blush.
"Hey, I'm Y/N. Meet me at the cafe on campus. We look at the work there and start on our ideas. Don't be late." You wrote down your number and the address of the cafe on a post-it note, sliding across the desk towards her.
The bell rung, signalling the end of the lesson, and you sprung from your seat, giving Alex one final smile before you headed out the door to your next lecture.
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As you arrived at the cafe, you were shocked to find Alex already occupying a corner seat, a coffee sat on either side of the table.
"Hey." Alex's eyes lit up as she saw you. "I wasn't expecting you to be here yet"
"I told you that was just a one off." Alex explained with a smirk. She gestured to the coffee that was opposite her side of the table. "I didn't know what to get for you, so I just ordered the same as me."
"Thank you, you didn't have to." She pushed the drink closer to you as you took your seat, your hands grazing as you gratefully accepted the steaming beverage from her hands. You didn't miss the blush that accented her pale cheeks, creeping its way down her chest as you grinned at her flushed state.
A few hours into the stay at the cafe, the assignment was long forgotten, as empty plates and drinks littered the table, where both of you chattered, laughed, and joked with each other. The waitress came over and informed you both that the cafe was closing soon, so both of you packed your things up and set off through the doors into the breezy, autumn evening.
The wind whipped your hair around your face, and the trees around you rustled with the fierce breeze that soared through the air. Alex reached out her hand and removed the hair from your face, tucking it behind your ear. Her eyes glistened under the fading sun as she leaning in, her face inches away from your own.
"I really want to kiss you." Alex admitted. "Can I?"
You leant in, your lips brushing against hers, sparks shocking your lips as you added more pressure to hers lips. One of Alex's hands rested on your waist, pulling you closer to her, whilst her other hand caressed your chin, silently pleading you to stay.
"Would you like to come back to my dorm?." You muttered as you pulled away slightly from her embrace.
"I thought you'd never ask."
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You both spent time together over the next few weeks, and then weeks turned into months, and then you had admitted that you loved Alex, however you were too afraid to admit them to her.
You had both become best friends and supported each other through thick and thin, yet the kiss and the night that you had spent together had never been spoken about since it occurred.
The end of the school year was rapidly approaching and neither you or Alex had discussed your next steps with each other. You had figured that should would become a defense attorney at the same firm that you had your eyes set on, however you couldn't be too sure.
Later that day, you met up with Alex at the cafe on campus, ordering on behalf of both of you as you awaited her arrival. She waltzed through the door and planted herself in the opposing seat to you. A light sheen of sweat covered her face as she huffed out a breath.
"I'm sorry for being late. Today's been hectic, and the workload is too much. I haven't had a break all week."
"It's okay, Lexi. You need to take a break though, I've never seen you so tense and stressed out."
"I have the weekend off, I was hoping that maybe we could spend the weekend together."
"I'd love that, more than you'd know."
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Alex had booked a reservation at a nice restaurant just outside of the Harvard campus, the decoration classy and the atmosphere calm and relaxed.
You decided on wearing a figure-hugging, short black dress and your hair updo in a messy bun, with a little makeup. Alex met you at the restaurant, her blue eyes boring into yours, and then her eyes dropping down to drink you in.
"W-wow, you look...gorgeous, Y/N." Alex stuttered, her lips splitting into a shy grin.
"Thank you, Al. You don't look too bad yourself." You winked at her with a smirk on your face. You chuckled at the flush that enveloped her cheeks.
The evening went by amazingly, both of you indulging into your meals and drinks, and sharing your dessert.
"Y/N, I need to talk to you. I've decided that I'm joining prosecution at the DA's office in Manhattan. I'll be moving to New York next week and starting there shortly after."
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That was 4 years ago.
After studying at Harvard, you got a job in Chicago as a prosecutor for White Collar crimes, as well as Homicide too. However, your boss had just convinced you to transfer to Manhattan to work alongside the Special Victims Unit, as they were short-staffed and were drowning in cases.
You had caught a flight to New York on Friday and spent the weekend preparing for your new job and finding your way around the city.
Monday morning flew around and beofre you knew it, you were striding into the precinct that you had been assigned to. You were walking through the corridor to the main room you'd be spending time in when you smelt the perfume, the perfume that Alex Cabot always wore. You were hit with memories of your time together, the kisses that you had shared and especially the love that you had developed for her.
For years, you had hoped to see her again, but you hadn't heard anything from her after you had tried to contact her, with no record of her on social media.
You enter the briefing room in the precinct, where Elliot Stabler and Olivia Benson were quick to fill you in on the case that you would be working on with them and another ADA. Your eyes almost popped out of your head as you were introduced to the ADA that you were working alongside, when you realised you were in the presence on Alex Cabot, the one who got away.
"H-Hi Miss Cabot, I'm Miss Y/L/N. I'll be working with you on this case." You sputtered as you offered her your hand to shake whilst you re-introduced yourself to her.
"Y/N..." Alex's eyes softened as she regarded you, her hand lingering in yours as she shook it.
Tears pricked at your eyes as you tried to desperately blink them back, refusing to cry in front of the squad and Alex, especially on your first day. Throughout the day, you felt Alex gazing at you every time you made a pitch or expressed your opinions.
You were ready to leave the precinct when you felt a tug on your blazer sleeve. You turned to see Alex towering over you, her piercing blue eyes glazing down into yours.
"Y/N, can we talk?" Her face showed worry that she would be rejected, and she honestly wouldn't blame you after she just left without any contact.
"Sure." You agreed as you opened the door to an empty interrogation room, leading the way inside of it.
"Alex. Why did you just leave? I understood you leaving for this job but I never heard off you. I really missed you!" Tears were threatening to fall from your eyes, but you tried your best to mask your sadness with a serious facade.
"I'm sorry, Y/N. I heard so many stories about how relationships and friendships faltered under the stress and intensity of working at the Special Victims Unit. I was so scared that you'd have enough of me being too busy to talk or to see you, so I thought that if I cut contact with you, it wouldn't hurt as much as if you ditched me. I was so scared to let you go Y/N and I'm sorry that I never got to tell you."
"Tell me what?" You questioned.
"That I...I love you." She admitted.
"W-What?"
"Y/N, I love you so much. I never wanted to leave you and I regret never telling you any sooner."
"Alex... I-I love you too. I missed you so much."
You embraced her, tucking you head into the crook of her neck, taking in the scent that you had missed so much since she had left. She kissed the top of your head, before lifting your head to face her. Her eyes gazed at your lips, her tongue reaching out to wetten her own.
You leaned in towards her, your head tilting upwards, your lips locking in a gentle but love-filled kiss, the kiss speaking louder than any words that Alex could say.
"Will you give me a second chance?" Alex's eyes were full of hope, awaiting your answer to her question.
"On one condition. You don't leave me again."
"I promise."
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SVU Rewatch thoughts 15-16
This is random but I wanted to share. I've realized how much I've changed over the years while watching this show. I was around 18 when season 16 came out and I perceive it so much differently now that I'm older and have been through more hardship and heartbreak.
When I originally watched it I was a huge fan of Nick and Amanda being together and didn't understand why their relationship wasn't truly noted and skimmed over. Rewatching it I know why. It was an absolute clusterfuck and a total mistake. It has to be one of, if not the most, toxic SVU relationship ever. They were so bad for each other. He was hurting and wanted to save her and she did not want to be a victim or saved at all. She liked to push his buttons for his reaction and he gave it. It was so BAD. Thank you, unhealthy childhood for making me not see toxic.
I also loved Amanda, and I still do like her in later seasons but she was AWFUL in season 15 to the point where I could barely stand watching her episodes and didn't really feel bad for her like I felt I should. She has no repercussions for any of her bad choices. Nick has to be a traffic cop because he beat up a pedophile but she can be a full-out dirty cop to try to get away with her gambling problem and it's okay because Murphy is there to save her? And she is sleeping with him.
Okay, just two more thoughts that I had if anyone cares.
16x1: I forgot how mean Carisi played in his first episode. Empty promises about citizenship to those trafficked girls to get them to flip- broke my heart. (Granted I've never watched seasons 17-21 so I didn't get to really see his character development but I plan to) That scene with the girl where he is yelling at her telling her to call and get somebody who will take it rough- that's what he was there for? Shit surprised me, I don't remember it at all. I love Carisi so much and would never want to change his character but he would have been so fun to watch as a suspect again or a dirty cop.
16x3: The scene with Nick and Noah confirms in my Amaro-loving heart that had the writers been nice to him and given him a healthy relationship Nick would have had a house full of adorable Latino babies. I think had he had a supportive romantic partner he wouldn't have gotten himself into as much trouble either. He had no emotional support or affection. I mean look at who he was paired with:
Maria- won't tell him their relationship is over, hides things from him and makes him jealous, totally overreacts when he does get jealous, causes huge scenes at his workplace, puts his partner/ boss in the middle of their drama, takes away his daughter that HE was raising BY HIMSELF while she was at war, makes it a hard and painful process for him to see his daughter with no leeway, tries to get him to move across the country on false pretenses of their relationship continuing, then when he says he won't let her take Zara threatens to ruin his career.
Cynthia- Please don't make me go there. I absolutely hated this whole arc.
Amanda- I already told you how I felt about this one.
The man was fucked from day one.
#law and order svu#law and order special victims unit#svu#nick amaro svu#nick amaro#sonny carisi#amanda rollins#season 15#season 16#rant#recap
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Chapter 5
Summary: Alex and Casey are called to the precinct where they find Olivia trying to get a little girl to open up.
Warnings: usual svu stuff specifically child abuse
Chapter 5/?
| hi! I just wanted to come by and say that if anyone has a request for this story or for another story I would love to try and write them. Just message me :) |
As they settled in their bed with Niki laid between them in Casey's arms, they exchanged glances, their expressions reflecting the same mixture of emotions swirling within them.
Alex reached out to gently stroke Niki's hair, her touch light and soothing. "This wasn't exactly how I pictured our day going when we woke up this morning," she said softly, her gaze never leaving the sleeping child in Casey's arms. "Yet here we are."
They sat in silence for a little while, lost in their heads as they watched over Niki, the weight of the situation heavy on their shoulders. Casey watched as Alex gently traced the little girl's features, soothing her as she slept, and the sight made her fall even more in love with her wife. Eventually, Casey spoke up, her voice gentle, trying not to disturb the little one's sleep.
"We need to talk about what comes next," she said, her tone serious as she met Alex's eyes. "ACS won't let us keep Niki here indefinitely. We need to figure out what to do next."
Alex nodded in agreement, running through their options in her head. "We could look into getting temporary custody of her," she suggested, her mind going through the logistics and legalities of the process. "It would give us the legal authority to make decisions on her behalf while we figure out a more permanent solution. We can’t even help with her case anymore, Donnelly is going to kick us off it the moment she finds out so it would also let us help her while the trial is in progress and keep her out of a group home or a foster home. God knows we have seen enough horror stories out of those and I wouldn't want—"
Casey grabbed Alex's hand to keep her from rambling and gave it a little squeeze. "Baby, breathe. We can ask and see if it could work," she replied, her mind already working through the steps they would need to take. "But we also need to consider what's best for Niki in the long term. Fostering her for a few days is one thing, but looking at a more permanent option is another."
Alex squeezed Casey's hand back, and Casey could tell from the look in her wife's eyes that her anxiety was creeping up on her. She could also see the moment she pushed it down and decided not to bring it up yet, letting Alex speak. “Do you think we’re ready for this?” she asked, her voice barely a whisper as her blue eyes drifted back to Niki.
Casey leaned in to gently brush her lips over Alex's forehead. "I'm not sure," she replied, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips as she looked at the love of her life. "But I know it’s something we have wanted and discussed, and we’ll do everything we can to make it work."
Alex turned her head up to capture Casey's lips with hers. “Okay, we'll talk to them tomorrow.” Their conversation faded into a comfortable silence as Alex shifted closer to them, wrapping her arm around her wife and the child between them. They would figure it out tomorrow.
#casey novak x alex cabot#alex cabot#casey novak#calex#law and order svu#this is short cause the semester is killing me
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So everyone else seems to be bolstered in their Buddie hope after this episode, but am I the only one that's getting a sinking feeling instead?
On one hand, yes, the repressed catholic guilt for Eddie makes me optimistic--and was I understanding Maddie's hint about Eddie correctly or was I crazy?--but everything else read to me as ABC beginning to--maybe not solidfy Buck and Eddie as only friends, but at least pump the breaks on Buddie.
I get letting them grow and learn more about themselves in separate relationships first, but Eddie's genuine, physical attraction to Marisol? Going back to the beginning of their relationship so ABC can undo how Fox just kind of through them together like usual right before the season finale and they can actually show the development of this relationship that's existed for months now but we weren't able to see? Paralleling this with Buck and Tommy who want to get to know each other better? Buck and Eddie's shorter, more bro-style interactions vs the softer more intimate interactions we were used to seeing in Buck's kitchen? The hug and "call Tommy," was all just so quick and platonic😭.
I'm not saying they'll never go there, I'm just saying I'm not so confident that if it does happen, we'll see it confirmed in the next few years.
Anyone else know the story of Benson and Stabler on SVU? They were always partners/ best friends/ride-or-dies/more-than-friends/soulmates, but Stabler was Catholic, married and had up to 5 kids. Everyone and their mother knew those two were meant to be, but their timing just never worked out. In their first 12 years before Chris(Stabler) left the show though, they hugged like a total of 3 times, never once said "I love you" or ever crossed the line physically. Okay? You with me? And yet, there was so much chemistry and love shown between them, that they were undeniable.
Cut forward 10 years, and Stabler gets his own spinoff and is brought back into Benson's life. 22 YEARS in the making. In his first season back, his wife was killed, he told her "I love you" and this giant, unspoken thing between them was actually fucking acknowledged by their characters in the show. In one season, they advanced these twos' personal relationship more than the previous 22 years put together.
But then.... nothing happened. I mean small things here and there between the two shows, an almost kiss, them admitting they want each other. But still, three years later and they still aren't together. And now we're at 25 years, for what has to be the slowest slow burn in the history of like, everything.
All this to say, I'm really afraid that ABC and Tim Minear are only coming out swinging so hard in an effort to hook existing fans and gain their loyalty. But then, it's going to go back to doing what any other major television company does, and it's going to fall back into drawing it out as long as possible. Because yeah, the show is on season 7, but if ABC wants it to go another 7 for themselves, they can't just rush and give us what we want in the first one or two seasons, that wouldn't be a good financial strategy for them. I really don't think they'll do it that way.
ABC gave us bi Buck and they can't ever take that away, but will they trap us with that bait, and be content with making everyone halfway happy to avoid taking too many more risks so soon or ever? Yeah, I really think they're not above that.
I feel like we're already falling back into the patented responses from cast and crew that "you never know" or "anything can happen" or "nothing is set in stone", so that's not making me feel great.
Don't get me wrong, I would be so happy to admit I'm wrong if it doesn't go the way I think it will, but I don't think I can live episode-to-episode for another 7 years living off scraps of Buddie interactions and subtext😭😭 I'd rather they just go the "brother" route so I can get closure and focus on fanfiction instead. The will they/won't they and overanalyslzing every single second looking for a hint of something sexual or romantic between them will be the death of me, because at the end of the day, it'll mean whatever ABC will want it to mean😭
Most of yall probably won't even read this, but I had to get my anxiety out, lmao😅
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So I was just reading an SVU fanfic and it got me thinking. So sorry if you have spoken about this before and I am having you repeat yourself.
Do you (personally) think that William Lewis raped Olivia or not? And if so and she became pregnant from it, do you think she would’ve kept the baby or had an abortion?
We have talked about it before but we can talk about it again!!! Lol
So. Based on canon, no I don't think Lewis did rape her. Bc we see Olivia taunting him for not raping her, goading him bc he hasn't really even tried to do that with her, and in that same scene she breaks free. She says he didn't do it, mocks him for not doing it, and then he does not have an opportunity in the timeline to do it. It didn't happen.
Now, there was a period where she was unconscious at her apartment, but if he had crossed that line then, why wouldn't he tell her when she's mocking him, instead of rising to the bait? He wants to cause so much damage and his ego is huge, surely he'd have made damn sure she knew what he did. But he didn't do it.
Now one thing that is interesting to me is that we know this and Olivia knows this but no one else will ever know this. Lewis wants to take a plea deal and recite all the ways he assaulted her in court, but Olivia won't let him bc she insists it didn't happen, and we know it didn't happen, but shit how does that look to her friends? Will Barba and Amanda and Nick spend the rest of their lives quietly wondering if their friend lied to them about what happened to her?
I do think she'd have kept the baby. For all her progressive ideals Olivia actually takes every opportunity she can to talk women out of having abortions, and has expressed guilt/regret over the pregnancy she lost while she was in college, and I absolutely think she would keep it. I think it might break something inside her but she is stubborn and all tied up in the complexities of her morals, and as evil as Lewis is and as fucked as this situation would be she wants a child. I do not think she would be "happy" and I do not think she would be ok and I do not necessarily think the child would be good for her but yeah I think she's keeping it.
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Okay I just woke up into another chaos and I need answers WTH IS GOING ON ARE YOU SERIOUS SVU??
I've been crying since I woke up and I'll keep crying for some more time. Did Muncy actually leave? And your reason is that fans hated her?? Fans just started to like her!! Have you seen the hate for churlish? And what will happen to my dear veluncy 😭 I was expecting them to end up together. How could they do this to us? At the end of the day, all the bensler fans are happy... but we'll never get more scenes of our ship again. I'm sooo mad and sad at the same time. Veluncy was the only reason I kept watching svu but now I'm done with it. I didn't even watch the episode. And frankly, I'm not planning to watch it bc I know I'll cry AGAIN. The only thing they care about is bensler... I think bensler was Dick Wolf's tactic to keep fans hooked on the show for years. I thought that the fans would get what they wanted in the season finale and that veluncy would be paved the way. We didn't deserve this ending... I won’t believe it until Molly explains. I want muncy back! I want my veluncy back 🥺
And the terrible things don't stop there. Whelan's dead? Is he really? I can't get over how they write terrible endings to all my favorite characters. Duarte, Whelan and now Muncy... Whelan didn't deserve such an ending and so much hate. Most of the fans have so much hatred for the new characters and don't give them a chance. Then they say they're glad they're leaving and it drives me crazy. I think we would all be happy if a separate series for the bensler and a separate series for the side characters 🫠
What about those deleted scenes? I don't really care about the deleted scenes after Muncy's departure and Whelan's death, but they deleted the scene with Velasco working with Reyes. Everything I was excited about about this crossover has turned out so badly. Looks like I will keep crying for a while 🤧 Depression mode: on.
I just want to wake up again and see that it was all a nightmare. I’ll never be ready to watch these episodes. Unless Muncy comes back next season saying "hey I'm back", I won't be in a good mood. What will Velasco do without her? She was the only one who really trusted and loved him. As he said, Muncy was his “only real friend”.
I’m also sad about Jet and Jamie… they could make a cute couple 🥺 There might be an open door for Muncy but Whelan is gone forever now. I still don’t want to believe. He was baby Stabler. My tears will become a fountain when I watch the scene he dies (if I can watch it) Svu writers are really good at ruining good things…
I think it’s time for Benson and Stabler to retire.
Let's talk about what's on our minds. None of us seems to be able to get out of this depression for a while. I’m open to any comments 💔
#law and order svu#law and order oc#svu24#svu oc#crossover#special victims unit#organized crime#law and order special victims unit#law and order organized crime#joe velasco#jose velasco#octavio pisano#grace muncy#molly burnett#svu#veluncy#velascy#joe velasco x grace muncy#jet x jamie#jet slootmaekers#jamie whelan#ainsley seiger#brent antonello#bobby reyes#rick gonzalez#svu writers don’t let us be happy#mariska hargitay#chris meloni#bensler
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Watching an episode of SVU and seeing the way Alex goes off listing bits of evidence while Donnelly sits there watching her is so deeply amusing. It's like Liz is watching one of her brat's go off on a tangent as to why they shouldn't be punished for whatever reason and she's letting them do it because she knows they're just digging a deeper hole. There's no way that Liz didn't smack Cabot's butt until it was redder than Rudolph the red-nose reindeer's nose on Christmas Eve that evening when they both got home from court. And you just know that Cabot won't be sitting down the next day- hell, even the next week.
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Eli + Joe: first fight... and first makeup ;)
Warnings: Mentions of Eli getting hurt. Loud arguing and threats. Making up but nothing to explicit (if enough people vote for it, I might make a part two)
Given their chosen professions, they were bound to be worried about each other. Elianna always worried about Joe getting shot in the line of duty, and Joe always worried Eli would be attacked by a perp in court.
However, she hadn't thought he would become overbearingly protective of her.
It had started when SVU joined forces with the Gang unit in the Bronx, two months into their relationship. One gang member had been taken into interrogation, Eli, Liv, and Duarte had been in there talking to the guy all day when the guy finally snapped and lunged at the three of them, Eli in particular.
Joe didn't know until hours later due to the fact he was out on another lead.
"HE HURT YOU!" He shouted, seeing the marks around your throat and face. "I'm going to kill him!"
Rushing over to him, Eli grabbed his face, "You won't! Joe, I'm okay."
"You're hurt! Where the fuck were Benson and Duarte?!" Anger seething in his voice.
"Handling the situation, it could've been worse."
"HANDLING THE SITUATION?! You're a lawyer, you should have zero scratches and marks on you!"
Anger started building up within Eli now. She hated how he was blowing it all up when she was fine. He acted as if she was in a hospital from injuries.
No matter what you said he wouldn't listen until you finally snapped. "Get out!"
"What?!"
"I said get out! I don't want to look at you right now."
"Eli--"
You shake your head, pointing at the door.
~~~
It's three weeks since the two of them last spoke, and the bruises have all faded by now. But the hurt from not seeing Joe in all that time, or speaking to him, stays put inside Eli like a parasite, chastizing her for not talking it out instead of kicking him to the curb.
She almost doesn't believe it when her assistant knocks on the door, announcing Joe is there.
"Thank you, Marina." The other woman closes the door behind Joe, giving them both privacy. "Jose." Tears threaten to spill, but she needs to stay strong. He still hadn't apologized.
"Elianna." The way he says her name makes her desperate to hug him. "I'm sorry for everything I said, how I behaved that night. I shouldn't have exploded like that."
She's stunned that he apologized so soon after entering her office. "I've had time to reflect on my actions and words, and--I can't lose you. So if you forgive me, I will do my best to work on myself and work on proving to you that I can change."
"That's all I want, Joe--I forgive you." She rushes to him, throwing her arms around his neck and pulling him in for a kiss. Both groaning into the kiss from having missed the feeling of being so close. "Take me home let's make up for lost time."
~~~
Tagging:
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Ok having Amanda saying she's bored with teaching but doesn't want to break Sonny's heart, this is some juice for a good come back story next season, it gotta be or they wouldn't put it out there. Reading major 'we fucked up and now we trying to patch things up with a plausible come back' no shit sherlock.
Anyway that's my Amanda sweet honey, loved that she's not magically healed up and she still struggles a bit on talking/sharing, now with a bit of fear on not wanting to hurt or disappoint the people she loves and who loves her, understandable, she just have to talks things out with Carisi AND Liv, sometimes it's hard I get it, especially if you don't see your best friend every day anymore and you fear to disappoint her? doesn't know how to explain it to her?
Also I believe Sonny would have noticed something was off with Amanda, he knows her so good too, but with the baby news he got a bit distracted and he has his worries and probably it skipped his mind a bit, also understandable, hence talking! I hope we get a good scene on svu next week about this with both Amanda and Carisi and her and Liv. Setting up hopefully her return next season. Maybe they could keep her as a consultant or something for a while plus she still teach part-time at Fordham, but if the show goes on for more years (which it's totally possible, yes it got less viewers than before but it's still the most watched/popular show on nbc they won't drop it anytime soon) she can slowly come back to svu as detective (Stabler left nypd and then came back to it so totally possible), maybe ranking up, something that she deserves, giving her less time out in the field 'in possible danger', or they can work something up with Liv anyway, possibilities are endless. Key word coming back.
Hey anon! Does really feel like they're setting her up for a return in some capacity--I'd ideally like it to be a consulting type of role, because that lets her flex her psychology muscles while still not being in the line of fire.
I really think that the only reason Amanda hasn't told Liv about the baby is simply because she knew that Liv would clock her about her uncertainty about her job, and she's not ready for that yet. (More details in a Twitter thread here.)
I hope they do flesh this out a little more--and I can't think of any reason to do that unless they want to bring her back somehow.
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The Reaper and the Death Angel Part 51
Looks like I'm back on track, I'm very happy with this chapter.
Series Masterlist
Part 50
Contains: Angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, drug driving, injury to a child, follow the plot of 5x07-5x08 loosely
7.7K words
Comment if you want to be tagged/removed or follow #the reaper and the death angel.
Gemma loses the last bit of good will.
Gemma didn't know why she was in that hotel room or why she decided to spend the night with a man she didn't know, what she did know was that having her car stolen after getting black out drunk was going to mean that she would be back to not being alone to spend time with Abel again.
She wondered what Nero would say, things were going well with him but they had never had a conversation about getting serious, but she called him anyway, hoping he would understand, hoping he wouldn't tell Jax what had just happened.
****
"What is it?"
Jax was making a ruckus throwing on his clothes, "That was Nero, Gemma's had her car stolen, at a no tell motel."
You rubbed the sleep out of your eyes, "I guess she's not better, was she with someone?"
Jax shrugged, "no idea, I'm about to find out."
You climbed out of bed, "I'll head into the lab early, maybe get a post or two done and then I'll come home and pack. Go easy on her Jax, she's going through a lot."
Jax huffed, "she has been given chance after chance to pull her shit together, this has to stop before she gets someone hurt."
You nodded, "see how she is when you get there, is she's sober she can have Abel while we leave, if not, Wendy can take him and she doesn't get another chance until all this shit with Clay is over and done with."
Jax sighed then walked up to where you were sitting on the end of the bed and leaned down to kiss you, "alright, but if she's still drunk she's done."
You nodded, "that's fair. I Love you Jax, please be safe."
"Love you too darlin."
****
Gemma's heart dropped when she heard the bikes, she could see the look on Jax's face as they walked up to her with Nero in tow, Bobby and Tig went off to talk to the manager while the other went to speak to Gemma. When they got within speaking distance, Gemma leaned in close to Nero to talk to him, "if I wanted them to come I would have called them."
Jax did his best to stay calm, "what the hell happened?"
"I cashed here last night and someone stole my Caddy."
Jax wasn't buying it, "someone?" He went looking around the hotel room and returned with a bottle of white liquid "since when do you drink banana vodka?"
Nero was kinda as they stood around her waiting for the truth, "what happened?"
"I woke up to take a piss and he stole my wallet and my SVU. I don't remember his name."
Jax tried to suppress his disgust, "Jesus Christ, who are you."
She walked away upset, Nero going to comfort her, "this is why I called you, because I don't need that shit."
Jax took a deep breath and walked up to Nero, "I'm sorry you got pulled into this, she's a Goddamn train wreck."
"She still your mother ese, respect that. You know, she's caught between a husband she hates and a kid she thinks hate her. Women like your mum, Jax, they don't do so good without family. Hmm, go easy." Nero left to take a call and Tig and Bobby came back with nothing, but when Nero hung up he had a determined look on his face.
"My guys found the Escalade, and the dude is still there." With one last glance at his mother, Jax left.
****
"Y/n said I'm not allowed to let you go back to work."
Ima's hands were on her hips, there was no way Sam was going to win this, "come on baby, you know I'll be alright."
Ima rolled her eyes, "no, we need to start planning the nursery anyway."
Sam smiled, "alright beautiful but only because I know you're more loyal to my sister than me and you'd call her if I went to work."
Ima smiled, "damn right I would."
****
"Ahhhh, y/n, Clay Morrow is at the door for you, do you want me to let him in?"
You rubbed your face, "yeah, walk him in please, and don't go anywhere, he won't be here for long." Travis escorted Clay in and sat down watching him while he tried to speak to you.
"What do you want?"
He shrugged, "Juice is here with your intern, I thought I'd tell you what you needed to hear rather than sit in the van."
You shook your head, "why do you still have to O2? You're breathing fine."
He huffed, "doc says I still need it for a little while. Does he need to be here?"
You waved your hand, "yes, now hurry up and say what you need to say so I can get on with my life."
"I know you're not going to take this well but I also know you can listen to reason. Jax can't run this Club, in the last few months your brother has been shot and Charming is at risk, you need to tell him to step down." You kept your face neutral despite the urge to shoot him in the head.
"You really think I have that much pull over him? And let's be honest Mr Morrow, we both know that this isn't on Jax. He's done more for the Club and for Charming since he's taken over than you had in twenty years. Now kindy fuck off, before you put your foot in it and I start looking at your motivations a bit closer."
You turned to Travis, "get rid of him, please."
Travis stood up to his full height, "with pleasure, you want me to bar him from now on?"
You shook your head, "don't make it any harder on Juice, he can sit outside and wait for me to come out if he wants to talk from now on." Clay walked out and Travis looked at you through his peripheral vision, smiling as you shook the recorder by your side, Clay was getting worried and it was showing.
****
Jax felt a strange anger when he found out what Gemma's one night stand did for a living, you would probably tell him that he was a sociopath who didn't care and felt nothing for the women he hurt but your calming voice in his head did little to quell the building rage as he got on his bike the chase after the man.
As the bikes gained on the torn apart car, Jax thought about what he was going to do to the man when he caught him, he didn't have to think for too long because he was jumping out of the car and shooting at them before running away into a patch of bush by the side of the road. Jax was on his in seconds, throwing his fists into the man's face while Chibs tried to pull him away.
"I'm good, let me crack this piece of shit."
Nero stood next to Chibs to block the man from Jax's view, "you want to be on the five o'clock news. Take what's yours. Let's get out of here."
Jax did his best to reign in his rage as he stalked up to the man, "I should kill you for what you did to my mother."
He got a bit of sick satisfaction at the fear in the man's eyes, "that makes sense. But you're not going to do that right?"
"Not today. Check his pockets." Chibs went through them and handed the money to Jax, the man's protest going unheard. He walked off in a huffed, Nero threatening him one last time before they mounted their bikes and drove off.
****
"Jax's has got to go, I don't care how you do it but get rid of him. He's leaving tonight to spend some time at the cabin with his bitch, do it then."
Gogo swallowed, "you want us to take him out?"
Clay shook his head, "nah, hire someone from the outside, make it look like a beef. I have another job for you three."
Clay sounded so angry, "what?" Franky didn't know where this was going, only that Clay was going off the rails.
"I need to to scare my old lady, she drives home the same way every night, she needs to know that pimp can't look after her like I can."
Greg's eyes went wide, "so what, you want us to run her off the road?"
Clay shook his head, "I didn't say that, just give her a reason to think that Jax can't keep Charming safe."
"Fine, but this better get you back at the head of the table, we can't just off Jax and get away with it without you running things, especially is y/n gets in the Club's ear."
Clay felt his blood pressure rise, "don't worry, once the little prince is dead, you can get rid if her too."
****
"Hello my love, to what do owe I your call?"
Jax chuckled, "my mum was sober when we got there, we got her car back too. I think she should be alright to take Abel."
You rubbed your face, "ok, I have a few more things to do here then I'll be done."
Jax sounded tired, "I'm going to have Tig go up with you, make sure you're safe."
You sighed, "alright, I can look after myself but I know it will ease your worry so I'll agree. I'll air the place out and make dinner, how long before you get there?"
"About two hours after you, thank you for being so patient."
You smiled, "I love you Jackson."
You could hear the smirk in his voice, "I love you too darlin."
****
Jax watched Gemma head into the office after talking to Nero, he took a deep breath and followed her, sitting down on the couch and readying himself for the oncoming conversation. "I'm sorry I embarrassed you."
Jax waved his hand, "It's ok. You and y/n, she's really trying mum."
Gemma nodded, "I know. I know she is, if I was her I wouldn't let me anywhere near Abel." Jax was a little shocked at her self awareness.
"What's going on with you mum?"
Gemma's face fell, "when my Thomas died, I did the worse thing a mother could do, I made you make up for the love he couldn't give me anymore. I'm sorry Jackson, I'm sorry that I've always been too much."
Jax ran his hands over his hair, "when he died, I felt so bad."
Gemma did her best to comfort him, "I know baby."
Jax shook his head, "it wasn't because he was dead, it was because I'd have you all to myself. I knew how wrong that was"
When Jax, filled with shame at his jealousy of your relationship with Sam brought this up to you, you hugged him and told him it wasn't his fault that he felt like Gemma didn't have love enough for both of them. At first, he was offended that you had suggested something so horrible but the more he thought about it, the more he realised that growing up, he felt like his mother didn't have space in her heart for everyone.
"I love you mum, and we're going to get through all of this, I promise." Jax stood up and pulled his mother into his arms for a hug, Jax didn't know what to do, all he knew was that things needed to change.
****
"You all packed?"
You nodded, "I just got to get the cool stuff in the cooler, you're staying for dinner at the cabin right?"
Tig smiled, "you want me there?"
You nodded again, "I do, I realise that you and I have serious fundamental issues but we can't let them stew. I have yet to make up my mind about you, which has never happened before, so I'm trying to like you, not only for Jax and the Club but so there's no bad blood between us."
"I don't know what to say."
You took a deep breath, "don't say anything, just deal with your personality problems that got us to this place originally."
Tig knew what you were talking about, you thought he was a coward and in many ways, you were right, "I'm trying."
You smiled, "I know, that's why we're having this conversation."
You looked around, "alright, I'm ready to go."
You handed Tig the cooler, "right on time, I'll text Jax before we leave." You nodded, "how did today go?"
Tig shrugged, "we got Gemma's car back and Clay didn't make a scene, I think we got off easy."
You sigh, "yeah, has Clay stirred the pot about these home invasions? I know he's been sowing the seeds of doubt."
"Yeah, he has. Why do you ask?"
You thought for a moment before giving an honest answer, "because he's the only one who has anything to gain from them. Not only does it make Jax look weak and unable to lead but it makes Charming look unsafe without him at the head of the table."
Tig went pale, "he's behind this?"
He huffed, "shit, who's doing the dirty work?"
You titled your head, "who's been absent every time something goes wrong?"
"The nomads, do you have proof?"
You nodded, "bootprints, fingerprints and a bug in his house. Would you like to hear him admit everything?"
Tig blinked, "who else knows?"
You smiled sadly at his tone, "Jax, Sam, Opie, Bobby and Happy, Clay sent the Nomads to Happy's house to go after his mum and aunt."
Tig swallowed, "Sam?"
You nodded, "Greg pulled the trigger."
"Why are you telling me this now?"
Your smile turned a little nasty, "because I needed to know if you were involved before I was alone with you, far away from help. Don't worry, you passed."
He snorted, "gee thanks. Let me guess, you want me to act like I know nothing?"
You nodded, "unless you want to run a foul of the CIA."
"I hear you."
****
Gemma knew she shouldn't be smoking before she took Abel home, but after her conversation with Jax she couldn't calm down. Stopping by Unser's and talking to him had helped a lot but the last few days had made everything so much worse, between getting her car stolen and Clay trying to worm his way back into her life, she felt lost. Nevertheless, she stamped out her joint and headed T-M to bring Abel back home with her, grateful she had been given more time with him even after last night.
When Gemma got to T-M, Abel jumped into her arms and hugged her, "grandma, I missed you."
Gemma pressed a kiss to his little cheek, "I miss you too, are you ready to go?" Abel nodded, and Gemme buckled him in, driving off with the radio blaring. Had she been sober, she might has picked up on the dark van following her.
As she drove down the road, she grew tired, the loud music barely keeping her awake. It was the sound of a horn blaring that shook her eyes open, the van came up fast and almost bumped the back of the car, the wheels screeching as her car shifted. She managed to right the car before the next wave came, and then another, then the van pulled away. Just as she thought it was over, the van was back and this time, she didn't have to reflexes to correct the swerve.
The tree came fast and hard, then there was nothing.
****
"You might as well come inside and help me sort this place out."
Tig didn't look impressed, "Tragger, I'm not a child, no one's going to come up on us without me hearing it, and let's be honest, I'll be protecting you."
Tig shook his head with a smile, "you're kind of mean."
You huffed, "am I lying?"
He rolled his eyes, "no, but it makes me feel inadequate."
You handed Tig and knife and slid him the cutting board, "good for you, please chop the carrots."
He did as you asked, "what are you making?"
You washed your hands and turned on the oven, "baked skin on chicken breast with veggies."
Tig licked his lips, "yum, I'm glad I said yes to your invite."
Before you could say more, your mobile rang. It was a fast conversation, "we need to leave right now. Jax and the guys have just been attacked on their way here." You and Tig raced out of the cabin, when he got to his bike, you practically pulled him away, "is that thing bullet proof?" He didn't answer as he climbed into the passenger seat and you drove off.
It didn't take long for you to get to the scene. Jax and Chibs were by the road, their bikes nowhere to be seen. You ran up to them and grabbed Jax's face in your hands, "what the hell happened?"
Jax looked so angry, "are either of you hurt? Let me check you." You ran your hands over Jax then Chibs, then Jax was putting and hand on your upper back and leading you into the bushes.
"A van came out of nowhere and someone started shooting, we managed to down this guy before the van drove off."
Tig turned to you and you gave him a knowing look, "he's black?"
You nodded, "yeah, my guess is someone's getting worried we're on to them and wants to throw us off."
Chibs blinked, "why am I getting the feeling that I've been left out of the loop."
You took a deep breath, "load the body into the truck, Jax can explain to you what I just told Tig."
Jax glanced at you, "I've called the others, Bobby's on his way."
You shook your head, "we have a problem, the shells on the road are for cop killers, they were planning on killing both of you." It didn't take long for the four of you to return to the cabin, Jax downloading Chibs from the front seat while Chibs and Tig sat in the back.
When they got the body inside, you all stood around the corpse, "check his tats."
They pulled up his sleeves, "a few prisons tats, Black Nation."
You nodded, "we need to get an ID." Before you could go outside to get the fingerprint scanner, Jax was producing a fire axe. With two violent swings, the stranger's hands were off his body.
"What are you doing Jackson?"
He puffed on his cigarette, "take one to Pope, have him ID the prints. I want affiliations, who he works for, everything."
You threw your hands up in the air, "I'm going to get an ID now so we don't have to send hands to anyone."
You left to get the kit and your laptop from the car while the others waited, "who's the other one for?"
Jax glared at the body, "Unser. Same request" You returned and knelt by the body.
"Why Unser?"
Boddy huffed, "because if he's working with Clay he'll lie about it."
You shook your head and pressed a dismember hand to the screen, "Charles Turner, pretty standard rap sheet, more time inside than out."
Before you could say more, Hale's ringtone pulled you away, "I'm sorry, I need to take this." You could tell something was wrong by the way Hale sounded, his voice was shaking and there were sirens screaming in the background. It was like your brain was stuck in mud, car crash, Abel badly hurt.
You came racing out, the body on the floor still there but out of your mind, "we have to go."
Jax knew something was wrong, he had never heard that tone in your voice, "what happened?"
You were already at the door, "it's my baby."
****
Jax wanted to throw up, after getting authorisation from Hale to travel under lights and sirens you slammed on the gas and drove like a mad woman, all Jax could do was hold on while you worked the old mustang like a high performance race car. "Did he say anything else?"
You shook your head as you ran the red light, "there was no paint on the back of the car and Gemma said someone was trying to hit her. I have a very bad feeling Jax."
"What?"
You took a deep breath, you were close to St Thomas but it felt like a million miles away, "Clay wouldn't put her at risk and he wouldn't risk breaking her heart by killing Abel, if he's ordered this, he would have told them not to hurt her."
Jax was catching up slowly, "so the only reason she would have crashed is because she wasn't sober."
Your eyes never left the road, "we're about to find out."
Sam and Ima were already at the hospital when you go there, Sam putting a hand on your face to slow your racing mind, Ima had clearly been crying, "I've already signed to consent papers, the surgeons are looking after him now. You can go through and be there if you want."
You rubbed your face, "go, it's alright." Seconds later, a nurse was coming to take to you and Jax back to the cardiac OR.
Abel was already out when you got there, Jax watching from behind the glass while he shifted from foot to foot, "Jesus, how long does this take?"
You took a deep breath, "they run the wire from his femoral artery up to his heart, thirty minutes at most if this is the fix."
Jax's eyes went wide, "and if it isn't?"
You shook your head, "we'll know soon." You looked at the monitor, "it looks like it's working, it's going to be ok my love."
"Like this kid hasn't been through enough shit."
Jax wouldn't stop moving, "this is on Gemma, if she was drunk or high I swear to God Jax."
Jax turned to you, his expression becoming angry, "I know, I know."
You grabbed Jax's hand as they went to deliver the shock and Jax felt you relax, "it worked, he's fine." Jax pulled you into his arms, resting his cheek on the top of your head, "we should go check on Gemma, they need to stitch him up, we don't need to see that."
On the way to the room, you stopped by a nurses cart and looked around, Jax slowing to watch you as you swiped a syringe, "what are you doing?"
You huffed, "testing a theory."
Clay was waiting when you got to the room, "fuck off."
He didn't move, "if you don't get the fuck out of this room right now you'll be happy you're in a hospital." The noise was waking Gemma, so you stepped closer to Clay, "I don't want to traumatise her anymore, get out." Maybe it was the expression on your face or the way Jax was standing behind you but Clay got up and left with a glare.
When Clay was out of view, you screwed the syringe into her IV and drew some blood before capping it and dropping it into your pocket. Gemma woke up soon after, looking around with worry. "Abel?"
You swallowed, "is in the peds ward. He had an irregular heartbeat due to the crash and needed a Cardiac Catheterisation, he's fine now."
That didn't ease her worry, "he was bleeding." you were trying to be gentle but Jax wasn't having it.
"What happened, were you drunk?"
Gemma looked at you and you crossed your arms over your chest, "there was no paint on the car Gem and you're a good driver, being run off the road in a car your size isn't that easy."
She shook her head, "no, I almost got away but a truck came out of nowhere just after the van pulled off, I was too busy pulling away from the van to see it."
"Jesus Christ, did you get a look at them?"
She blinked, "the van was dark brown, that's all I could see."
You pulled Gemma into a hug, all your worries forgotten, "I'm so glad you were the one driving, all Abel had was a cut on his head, that's where the blood came from, he's ok."
You saw her relax, "when can I see him?"
You smiled softly, "he's still asleep but you can see him when he wakes up." She smiled, "thank you."
"I'm just happy you're both ok." Before you could say more, Unser arrived.
Jax left to talk to him while you headed to Abel's room. In the hallway, you met up with Holt, who had come for moral support, "how's your boy?"
You shrugged, "he's fine. I need a favour."
Holt nodded, "anything."
You reached into your pocket, "test this blood for me, I need to know if there's anything in it."
Holt's eyes went wide, "you think Abel's grandmother was under the influence?"
"I don't know, but I want to find out."
****
Sam and Ima had wandered into Abel's room before you, "you guys doing alright?"
Ima wiped her face, "these guys have to go."
You had never heard her so angry, "I know, we're working on it, you didn't answer my question."
Sam sighed, "we're alright, the baby too, it's just been a long few weeks."
"You should go home and rest, the last thing we need is you back here because of an infection."
Sam shook his head, "I'll stay until Abel wakes up." You didn't argue, instead you pulled up a chair and waited for Jax to return.
Bobby walked in soon after, "Jax went to see Pope, Unser came through, we can trust him."
You sighed, "we better settle in, it's going to be a long day."
Just as you were getting comfortable, Wendy arrived, "what happened?"
You shrugged, "looks like road rage, Hale thinks it was random."
You readied yourself for a fight, "but Abel and Gemma are ok?"
You nodded, "fine, if you think you can…."
She cut you off, "I'm not going to use this against you, you've let me into Abel's life, the last thing I want to do is hurt that by pulling something at a time like this."
You were taken aback, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have jumped to that."
She waved her hand, "it's understandable, I came back into Abel's life when things were rough for you. I just want to be here with him."
You swallowed, "stay for as long as you like, I'm not sure when he's going to wake up."
She nodded, "where's Jax?"
You looked at Sam, "Club business, Gemma managed to get a look at the van, he's gone looking for it."
She huffed, "let's hope he gets to him before Hale does."
****
"The hand belonged to Charles Truner, Tyler's LaRoy's number two, he has the info on all his known associates. How's your boy?"
Jax shrugged, "alive."
Pope smiled, "and your old lady."
Jax huffed, "out for blood, she's not going to rest until these people are dead."
Pope nodded, "if someone went after my daughter, I want the same thing. The CIA are very nervous Jackson, they want to know if I'm still on board even with your… internal issues."
"Are you?"
Jax chose to ignore that Pope was aware of the Nomads, "of course, they assured me that their asset was dealing with the matter, I'm guessing that's still your future wife?"
Jax nodded, "yeah, I'm not happy she's had to jump back in, neither is she but the work's got to be done"
Pope chuckled and the tone changed, "August will help you if you need men, we don't want people who go after small children and elderly women in out ranks Jackson, you have free reign to deal with this how you see fit."
Jax heard the message loud and clear, get rid of them.
****
"I told you to scare her, not run her off the road. How did you not know Abel was in the back?"
Greg rubbed his aching face, "she was already all over the place when we pulled up on her, it's not our fault she was on something."
Clay shook his head, "that bitch isn't going to think that, she's going to boil us all alive if she finds out were the ones behind the attack."
Gogo huffed, "I don't know Clay, she seems harmless to me."
Clay's face turned cruel, "that's what everyone thinks. She's a fucking viper, if you piss her off, you'll be dead before you know what hit you."
Franky wasn't worried, "you said it yourself Clay, once Jax is gone, she's next."
****
Nero walked into Gemma's room, Chucky leaving with a smile. When they were alone, she started to cry, "hey, it's gonna be alright."
She shook her head, "I was stoned driving Abel. I lied about a truck, I couldn't swing the car around fast enough. I thought I'd be alright, I drive high all the time. I just didn't want to miss my chance with them."
"It's going to be ok baby, it's ok."
Gemma knew he was lying, "no, it's not. y/n isn't going to care, if I had been sober, I would have gotten away from the van, she'd know that."
Nero sighed, "she's a good girl, I'm sure she'll understand."
Gemma swallowed, "no she won't, she's been telling everyone to watch their backs, it was worse than getting her child hurt, I couldn't protect him because I was high, she and Jax are never going to forgive me if they find out."
"That will come back Gemma, you know how that shit works, you got to get in front of it. Tell them the truth."
A knock from Chucky broke the conversation, then Clay was rounding the corner and walking through the door. "I need to step out, my bowels very loose in situations like this."
Nero smiled, "well on that note. I'll check in on you."
Clay followed Nero, "I'll walk you out." Clay has grown bold since the crash, "whatever it is between you and my wife, it's over."
"Maybe we should let her make that call."
Clay shook his head, "I know you and Jax are tight and the Club appreciates your pussy salvation but make no mistake, you get in my way with Gemma, I'll kill you."
Nero didn't flinch, "don't worry, mano, I don't make mistakes, not like you."
****
Abel was still asleep when Holt came back from the lab, you waved him inside and he sat down, handing you an envelope, "where's Jax?
You shrugged, "finding the guys that tried to kill him and Chibs, what did you find?"
His face told you what you needed to know, "I went back to the scene, the only tire tracks were from Gemma's car and the van, and I had Angela look at CCVT on the road, no trucks entered any of the exits to the highway at the time of the crash. She lied, to what extent isn't for me to say, your answer is in there."
He patted your leg, "I'm sorry, I've bought in one of your backups, take as much time off as you need."
Without another word, he left. Sam clenched his jaw, "I'm gonna see what's going on out there."
He got up and left, taking his rage with him, "are you going to look at the tox screen?" Sam wasn't the only one who sounded angry, Ima wasn't happy with her and you could understand why.
"When Jax gets back."
Ima grabbed your hand, "if she was on something, I'm not letting her near my baby, ever."
"I know, I don't blame you."
****
Jax felt lost, sure he had got the guy who tried to kill him and Chibs but it left him with more questions than answers, either Gemma lied and there was no van or worse, the Nomads went after his family themselves. At least they had Franky on the hook, Jax just had to find a way to explain everything to you, without you going over the Club's head and killing them yourself.
****
"Hey, what are you doing here?"
Clay huffed, "I hate hospitals."
Juice nodded, you had sent him back to the Clubhouse for that very reason. "I can't find anything on anyone, I asked around, The Mayans are doing some digging but I think we're still in the dark."
Clay knew something was going on, "anything you need to tell me." Juice shook his head, "no, why?"
Clay smiled, Juice's tone told him he was on the right track, "well, Roosevelt was pressing you pretty hard when we got out."
Juice shrugged, "yeah, I guess."
"Why just you?"
Juice was getting worried, "I don't know."
Clay's voice got higher, he was trying to seem like he wasn't digging, "I think you do."
Juice huffed, "he's just an asshole cop."
Clay shoved Juice down as he went to stand up, "what's he know Juice?"
Juice felt his heart race, "nothing."
Clay wasn't buying it, "don't lie to me."
Juice swallowed, "I'm not."
Clay leaned in close, "hey, you can tell me the truth son."
"Please Clay, I can't."
Got you.
"You've got no choice. Tell me Juice."
Juice took a deep breath, "my father, he's black. Roosevelt tried to use him to get me to rat but…"
Clay smiled, "but y/n already knew and lied for you."
Juice nodded, "yeah. She told me she'd take it to her grave."
Clay felt like rubbing his hands together, he had Juice right where he wanted him, "I'm the one who set the Nomads in motion."
Juice wasn't shocked, "what happens now?"
Clay smiled, "you keep my secret, I keep yours." Juice nodded, the moment Clay was gone, he was going right to you.
****
"You should take your wife home."
Sam shook his head softly, Ima had fallen asleep against his shoulder hours ago, "nah, she's getting this weird pregnant lady strength, I'm worried she'd kill me."
Jax huffed, "yeah, I can see her doing that. Has Abel been awake?"
Sam shook his head, "for like a minute an hour ago. y/n just went to take a call, she'll be back in a bi…. speak of the devil, are you ears burning?" You rolled your eyes as you walked in and kissed Jax's cheek.
"Did you get the guys?"
Jax nodded, "only the ones that went after us, my guess is the Nomads were the ones that went after Gemma."
The envelope was burning a hole in your pocket, "Jax, I have something to tell you and you're not going to like it."
Jax crossed his arms over his chest, "what?"
You took a deep breath, "there was no sign of a truck Jax, the only treads that were there were Gemma's car and van's, traffic cameras show the roads in and out of the highway were free of trucks too."
You reached into your pocket, "I have the drug test, I figure we ask Gemma once more before we open it."
Jax looked at the white paper in your hand, "Sam, take Ima home, she doesn't need to stress if this goes wrong, and neither do you. The last thing we need is you popping a stitch."
Sam smiled sadly, "sure brother, call us when Abel's up and we'll come back." When Sam woke Ima, he didn't give her the chance to protest before he was taking her home.
"Thank you for that."
Jax swallowed, "you're not the only one worried about the stress on Ima and her baby y/n, let's not talk about it anymore."
Jax sat you down, his eyes still on the paper in your hand, "you wanna look?"
Jax huffed, "not really."
You handed it to him, "we don't have to but Jax, if she can't protect Abel because she's using drugs, we can't let her near him."
Jax rubbed his face, "I know."
Before he could say more, Juice came in looking like he had seen a ghost, "what's wrong Juicy?"
"I need to talk to you, alone."
Jax's eyebrows rose, "it's alright my love, I'll be back soon." You got up and followed Juice into a quiet hallway, "what's going on Juice?"
Juice was almost hyperventilating, "Clay knows about the black thing."
You did your best not to react, "he's not going to tell anyone Juice, he won't get anything out of it."
Juice was still panicked, "he's given you an assurance, hasn't he?"
He nodded, "let me guess, he's behind the Nomads?"
Juice's eyes went wide, "yeah, how did you know?"
You smiled, "I've been lying, the bootprints were a match to Greg and I have fingerprints on the shells from the bullets that hit Sam. Jax, Opie, Bobby, Happy, Chibs and Sam already know all the details, we're telling people as we need to. I'm still working on Galen so we can't risk this getting out."
Juice relaxed, "what do I do?"
You smiled, "you come clean Juice, if it goes wrong, then I can get you out of the country and with a new identity in hours. Then I'm talking Abel and leaving his father because there is no way I will let my child be raised by a racist."
Juice blinked, "you would really leave Jax over this?"
You nodded, "in a heartbeat. Now let me make some calls and then we're going to put this to bed."
Ten minutes later, you were returning to Juice with a smile, "it's all set, if shit goes wrong, I have a plane waiting to take you to where ever you want to go. You ready?"
Juice gave a nod, "alright how do you want to do this?"
Juice took a deep breath, "can I get Chibs here?"
You smiled, "sure, how about we do it at my place, a little later, that way no one's worrying about Abel?"
Juice nodded, "that sounds good, what are you going to tell Jax?"
You shrugged, "that you need to tell him something later on and he better be ok about it if he ever wants to see me again."
He stopped you, "maybe it can wait until tomorrow? I don't want make things worse."
You nodded, "of course, you wanna come in and spend some time with Abel?"
Juice shook his head, "nah, it will just make things harder."
****
"Mummy, my head hurts."
You shot up off Jax's shoulder, almost knocking him in the head on the up, "hey little man, I'll go get a nurse to have a look." You ran out of the room and came back in record time, Jax having climbed into bed next to him.
The nurse cleaned his cut and gave him some pain meds, "you feeling a bit better now?"
Abel nodded and rubbed his face, "yes." You waved Jax over and lay down opposite to Jax so Abel was in the middle, "is grandma ok?"
Jax smiled, "yeah, little man, she's ok. Do you remember anything?"
Abel nodded, "grandma's car went funny, then she hit something."
"Did you see a big truck in front of you?"
Abel shook his head, "no, there was a big car behind us."
You looked at Jax, "we need to look at those results Jackson."
He took a deep breath, "just a little bit longer, I want to enjoy the peace while it lasts."
****
When you left the room to get coffee, the Nomads were standing around, if you didn't know any better, you'd think they felt guilty, "have you found anything?"
Franky shook his head, "nah, but we're still looking. We're gonna find the guys that went after your family."
You smiled and placed a hand on his shoulder, "thank you for everything, you've been such a help to Jax and the Club."
The looks they shared made it clear that you had lulled them into a false sense of security, it wouldn't be long now they made another slip up.
****
"That's your fourth coffee, you doing ok?"
You rubbed your face, "my head's acting up, I'll be alright."
Jax made a face, "go home, Abel's going to be asleep most of the night anyway."
You shook your head, "we need to talk to Gemma first."
The envelope was still in your pocket, "I know, do you think she lied about that too?"
You shrugged, "for as much as Holt tries to be stonefaced, he loves Abel, his reaction pretty much told me what's in it."
Jax nodded, "yeah, I know, he called me to apologise."
You huffed, "he's a good man, despite the fact that he thinks we show too much affection towards each other in public."
Jax chuckled, "because he shakes Kevin's hand when they meet up for lunch."
You giggled, "yeah. Don't knock it, that could be us in ten years."
Jax shook his head, "I can't wait."
Knock Knock
It was Nero, Jax got up and let him in, "what's going on man?"
Nero swallowed, "can I talk you outside for a minute?" Jax left with a nod, his hand lingering on your cheek. They walked to an empty hallway and Nero stopped, "Gemma lied about the truck coming at her."
Jax snarled, "I know."
Nero's face remained calm, "what are you going to do."
Jax huffed, "she almost killed my kid."
"So what pres, you're gonna beat the shit out of your mother, hasn't that been done enough by your family."
Jax shook his head, walking away in a rage, "she's your problem now."
Jax returned and the conversation turned back to the tox screen but as you reached into your pocket, Gemma walked in, "maybe we ask her first."
Jax stood up, his face going hard, "are you going to tell her gonna tell her or am I."
Gemma stopped in her tracks, "I love him so much."
You stood up and walked next to Jax, reaching into your pocket, "this is a drug screen, I don't want to have to get my answers from this."
She glared at you, "you ran a drug test on me?"
"Yes, I did, there were no treads from a truck Gemma, and there was no paint on your car, there has to be a reason you lost control."
She crossed her arms over her chest, "why haven't you opened it?"
You huffed, "because I want to give you the chance to come clean." Jax stepped closer, putting himself between her and Abel.
"There was no truck, I was driving high and couldn't right the car after the van pulled away. I just didn't want to miss my chance with Abel." Rage, all you felt was white hot rage, you understood what Frank meant when he told you there's no anger on earth like the anger you feel to someone who hurts your child.
"I'll be back in a moment." You walked out, heading right towards the guys, "can someone please take the gun off my hip."
You raised your arms and Chibs walked over, lifting your shirt and taking the gun out of its holster, "why?"
You took a deep breath, "because Gemma was high when she got into the car with Abel and I don't want to do anything I might regret." You walked back into the room, your shirt over your belt showing the missing gun, a brief look of fear coming over Jax's face.
"I love you Gemma, I really do but you're done, you don't call, see or come near my child until you can be trusted to keep them safe. Driving high is one unforgivable thing, but driving high while our enemies are hunting us is another. You've done more than just get into the car when you shouldn't have, you've failed to protect my child when I handed him over to you for just that."
She stood there, her eyes growing wet, "Jax can get your key and we'll be changing the alarm codes, you won't be getting a new one for a very long time. You should stay away from me until you've got whatever's going on in your head sorted because I don't trust myself around you right now. Now please, get out of my sight."
Jax relaxed when she left, "thank you for not killing her."
His eyes were still stuck on your empty holster, "had we not been in public, I would have."
****
You and Jax left the hospital late, having left Opie and Kip to stay with Abel. As you climbed out of the shower and crawled into Jax's open arms, you took a deep breath to drop the next bomb, "Juice and Chibs will be here in the morning, Juice has some things he needs to talk to you about."
Jax's eyebrows furrowed, "it's not my place to say anything Jax, just leave it be until the morning."
Jax sighed, "do you ever regret moving here?"
You shook your head, "not for a single second, this will all work itself out Jax. Let your mum get over Clay and get her shit together, maybe spending some time away with Nero will get her back to her old self."
Jax huffed, "how are you so forgiving."
You smiled sadly, "because she's your mother and you love her, I want nothing more than to put a bullet in her brain but I love her too and killing her would just cause more pain. I won't stay angry at her forever, I just need time so I don't look at her and see my father's face staring back at me."
Jax huffed, "I would have let you shoot her."
You nodded, "I know, that's why I got rid of the gun."
Jax swallowed, "how long before we can bring Clay and the Nomads to the table?"
You shrugged, "Galen in back in two days, I'll know after that. Vance has already greenlit him, once the Irish are squared away he's even more of a dead man than he is now. As for the Nomads, they have no idea we're onto them."
Jax went to reply, but Ima was knocking on the door. You invited her in and she sat in the bed next to you, "I have an idea, can I talk to you in private?"
Jax didn't protest, waving his hand as you went to leave the room with Ima in tow, "don't get up, I need a drink anyway."
Jax left, shutting the door on his way out, "what's your idea?"
She smiled, "you're not going to like it, but I think it's going to end things."
Part 52
#the reaper and the death angel#Jax teller#sons of anarchy#sons of anarchy imagine#fluff#soa#jax teller#sons of anarhcy fanficton#sons of anarchy fluff#jax teller imagine#jax teller fanfiction#jax teller x you#jax teller x reader#jax teller x oc#samcrow#jax teller fluff#charlie hunnam#fix it fanfiction#jax teller smut#charlie hunnam imagine#charlie hunnam fanfiction#jackson teller
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Well, let's not forget that they wanted to kill off Amanda at first but Mariska said no. I won't be surprised if she made sure they did good to Kelli, I think she is powerful enough to do that at least (but enough to keep her, unfortunately).
With Brian (and Yaya), well maybe the writers were a little more graceful with two characters and give them a good send off for once.
PD always did an awful job with the exit of characters, they always choose the pain, the trauma and unnecessary drama (I hope Tracy break the curse, if she's leaving)
And Jesse is coming back to direct, so I suppose they are not on bad terms.
Truly I'm not well versed in the happenings at SVU, but good on Mariska if she was able to fight for a costar like that.
I agree, PD has had some less-than-kind send offs with Jon Seda and Lisseth Chavez coming to mind first. There's really nothing to be gained by doing that. We can hope that cycle breaks.
The only thing I'll add about Jesse is that he would not necessarily have to be on "good terms" to direct if it was a negotiation agreement during his exit. This is not to say he is on bad terms- I wouldn't know- but sometimes it's just business, you know?
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What are you hoping to see on next season of SVU?? 👀
hmmm.... i haven't thought about this too much yet, so we'll start with some more all around thoughts. (90% that probably won't happen lol)
-a larger principal cast; i'm talking, add in a new detective (or bring back an old one), bring back huang/another actor in that role, bring back melinda/a new me, and have them actually be in most episodes
-more court scenes. JESUS CHRIST. the last two, even three seasons haven't been that good. i want to SEE the court room, we barely get to anymore and it fucking sucks.
-Rita. obviously. and pls give her the stylist she had in s17, cause that was her prime looks. and let's wrap up that arc they left wide the fuck open with gallagher please?
-gimmie some soft rollisi with the girls, like nice little family dinner softness.
-more joe! and him being happy!
-some lgbt representation in the squad/main cast would be great. that was fun while it lasted.
-tbh let's just have this be the last season. wrap it up nicely, bring back some fan favourites for cases/episodes throughout the season. let them have one last hurrah, then have the season finale be liv's retirement party, with all the old friends in attendance. (and then give us For the Defence to fill the time slot...)
Also while we're at it.
Organized Crime: let's get Ayanna and Denise back on track please!!??? why the FUCK do we have to keep burying our gays. i *knew* something was going to happen the moment it was revealed Bell was married to a woman, i just *knew* it and I YELLED when it happened.
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1.0 here, again :)
I'm so glad there's a safe space for the pixie lovers among us, hah. I agree with you about the s2 shag, by the way. (and shame on DW for almost firing her for a haircut???)
ok I'll tell you what long fanfics I read if you promise it won't slow your own writing down--I'm hooked on "I'll Crawl Home to Her" already and I need MORE :)
I (re)read your Hell of a View. I think it was one of the first SVU/EO fanfics I ever read, and it was even better going back to it with several 1.0 seasons and all the 3.0 seasons under my belt.
I discovered Lujahs and read both Berceuse and A Clean Burn, both of which were stunning.
I read Vows by Strawberry_day which isn't super long but gorgeous. Then I went and read everything by that author, who really has a unique voice that just grabs me and won't let go.
I read The Currency of Heroes by surreallis which, in the context of my first time through the early seasons, was a cool parallel take on newly familiar scenes.
And that's just recently! If you have recommendations for essential stuff I should read, especially stuff published before 2022, please do share.
Ok, last thing: I just watched Risk and definitely have my favorite 1.0 episode so far. Elliot goes UC! He seizes the opportunity to flirt with Liv in public! (and omg lol he buys himself a beer and her a scotch for $12!!) He gets beat up and Liv has to watch/listen from the car! He gets to act tough about it when they get back to the station! They share a flirty look when she playfully downplays his injuries! They go UC together as a married couple! She seizes the opportunity to call him baby! And then uggghhhhh that last scene where they both break my heart being vulnerable about living with the guilt of shooting someone, and even when it's a "good kill" it stays with you. And she clocks his loss of appetite, and he tells the truth about not sleeping when she asks, and she tells the truth that therapy hasn't helped when he asks. Whew, yeah, favorite episode so far.
I do love these updates I really do!! Thank you for sharing with us 💜
The misogynist response to m's s2 haircut really is something isn't it
🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 thank you so much for this!!! I am so excited about crawl, it's a slow burn but I have a lot of things to say and I'm having so much fun writing it, so it means a lot to me that you're enjoying it 🥰
Berceuse is one of my all time favorites oh my God it's so good. And surreallis is like. God tier.
I have a fic rec tag here I can't remember if I referred that to you before, but there's lots of stuff in the notes on those posts too!!
Risk is so good. And it's one of those episodes that shows that Elliot likes going undercover. He likes a bit of theater he has fun with it he enjoys trying on someone else's life, and I love what that says about him as a character and I really appreciate that oc kind of seized on that. OC has for the most part imo done a really good job of tying in his existing characterization which is no mean feat for a show that started ten years after anyone had last written for him with a full staff of people who'd never written for him. I can only hope that their new showrunner will choose to continue to honor his character and pull away from that last guy's attempts to turn Elliot into a budget punisher
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I was tagged by @catelyngrant and I'm gonna tag @winged-mammal, @momentia, @naryrising, and anyone else who wants to do it.
last song: Lovecraft in Brooklyn by The Mountain Goats, which I had to listen to three times because I was immediately obsessed with how it fits Itchy Trigger Finger (L&O: SVU, EO, zombies) by snarkypants.
last show/series: Hmm. Probably The Babysitters Club. I didn't really want to watch the one where Mimi dies, so it took a while to get to. I also watched all of Oz except for the final episode because, hey, again with the character death.
currently watching: I'm trying to finish Derry Girls so I can cancel my Netflix subscription, but I'm also debating if I want to finish season two of Lupin, which is very good, but which requires use of my brain because it's in French. And there's SVU and Organized Crime, of course. And Major Crimes reruns on Saturday night/Sunday morning, but we're coming up on the episodes we don't watch.
favorite color: Yellow.
sweet, spicy, or savory: Sweet and spicy together.
currently reading: I bought Bone in the Throat by Anthony Bourdain a few months ago and read a couple chapters a few weeks ago. I was very impressed by the dialogue! I will now proceed to say this is what I'm reading for the next 3-5 years, at which point I will buy another book and do the same. I do slightly better with nonfiction.
what i'm working on: looool. I've got a contrarian bug up my ass, so last night I was like, "Yeah, yeah, EO breeding kink, but hear me out: it's Liv with a strap-on," so I've been trying to figure out exactly how that starts and whose point of view it is. But other than that:
a wonder for gods and mortal men, which was supposed to be a sexy little romp where Elliot and Olivia and Frank Donnelly played strip poker and she talked her way into the Brotherhood. Except it turns out it's an angsty thing about how Frank knows more about the past ten years of Olivia's life than Elliot does. ("We'd take care of a guy like that."//"I took care of him."//"I'm just saying, it's -- that? That's what brothers are for.")
Painted-White Unknown, wherein Elliot gets divorced, falls in love with the kitchen in an apartment he can't afford, and puppy-dog-eyes Olivia into being roommates, and I get stuck on important questions like, "Who is the first to have a wank?" and, "How the fuck am I supposed to figure out what order these things I want to write about happen in?" (Elizabeth bounces on the balls of her feet while he unlocks the apartment door, talking a mile a minute about a friend whose father lives in Midtown, in an apartment with a balcony inside a building with a concierge, and Elliot doesn't know what he was thinking, wishes Liv had told him to grow up and man up and go the hell back to Queens, where maybe he'd failed at being a husband, but he could at least salvage his dignity as a father.)
Polynices is Home from the Hunt, which cranks the daddy issues and season eight codependency up to eleven when the kinship analysis of Olivia's DNA reveals her father is... Joseph Stabler. (For a few short hours, she was his, bound to him from birth, their connection a documented, scientific truth. But he won't stop her from destroying the proof; he'll add the truth to the list of secrets he keeps for her.)
Rocks and Water, the one where Elliot and Olivia are just about dating when Olivia realizes she's pregnant from a one-night stand, and Elliot doesn't see the problem with this, but I have problems with him. Because, look, I need him to not take no for an answer. It is canon that he does not take no for an answer -- how many god damn times is he going to ask Liv out? -- but I cannot reconcile that with him being a god damn SVU detective in a way that allows me to get into his head enough to write one particular sentence that I've been stuck on for like six months. (It takes everything in him to step back. To pull his hand away from her stomach, not knowing if she'll ever let him touch her like that again.)
Chicago Is So 25 Years Ago, the SVU band AU that would probably just be better as a notfic, but I can't get it out of my head. (Her mother is addicted to the hot rush of cocaine. Olivia understands it when she's here, like this, arms overhead and audience screaming for another shimmy of her hips.)
currently obsessed with: I'm going through a bit of a houseplant thing, which is unfortunate for the poor plants that are going to die. Am I overwatering? Underwatering? Is there too much light? Not enough? When will Hammie stop digging them up? (Too much light was my last problem, which is hard to believe.)
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Angst 18 with the pairing of your choice from SVU ❤️
hi thank you for this... if you give me complete free reign with svu you probably are going to get my favorite fail!relationship... rollaro
18. If you cared about me, you wouldn’t do this.
"Why are you in such a hurry, Amanda?" Nick asks-- no, demands-- arching an eyebrow at her skeptically. He knows why she's hurrying, of course, and she knows from his voice and the way his hands are perched on his waist that he came here looking for a fight.
And usually, she wants one, too. That's how they operate, usually. The job they work inspires a lot of bitterness and anger, and if they both agree to let the other take it out on them, it's a safe space to kill the anger without it killing them or some other area of their lives.
But right now, she's too nervous. She's too nervous and scared of fucking it all up to play ball with him. Later, of course, but not now.
"You know why," she says softly, raising her hands up in surrender, "because I'm our best hope of catching this guy and we gotta trap him before he decides to run."
"You don't have to do this."
"I do, actually, it's the job."
"Is it?"
"Yes, of course it is," she bites back, she doesn't want to fight with him but he just gets under her skin like no one ese, in more ways that one.
"Somebody else could do it, you know. You don't always have to set the honey trap."
"I do when his type is blonde women about my age and height."
"There are other blond women of you are in the NYPD."
"Nick," she hisses, "we have been tracking this guy for months now. No one outside of SVU knows him as well or us or will know just how to get him to bite. It'll be fine, like all the other times Liv or I have acted as bait. You guys will have audio and visual and can bust in at a moment's notice."
"If you cared about me, you wouldn't do this."
Well, that certainly gets her to pause her anxious pacing. Her jaw drops an inch and she stares at him, waiting for him to say that he wasn't being serious. When he doesn't, she balks.
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Nick?"
He stares right on back at her, unflinching as ever.
"It means exactly what you think it means."
"That's not fair and you know it!" she shouts, tears pricking her eyes in frustration.
She didn't want to fight.
"Yeah, it's unfair," he says, unashamed, "but you want this guy too bad, Amanda. We all do. Just like we all know south this bait and switch idea could go and just how quickly. We all have tunnel vision, well, except for me."
"Oh, enlighten me as to how this--"
"It's too dangerous and you know it," he growls, breathe hot on her ear as one hand grasps at her waist, "even for this unit, it's too big of a risk. You're not doing it."
"Nick, you don't..." she trails off, pausing to take a deep breath to re-ground herself, "you can't tell me what is or isn't too dangerous. We're the police, Nick, we have to--"
"Amanda, what's taking so-- Oh, okay," Fin stammers, narrowing his eyes at the two of them, "listen, if you two want to do this off the clock I won't approve of it but I won't complain to the boss lady, but right now--"
"Got it. Nothing was happening, he was just giving me some pointers so I'll feel safe and protected. Tell Liv, I'm ready. Let's go get this guy."
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I love watching svu, i love it, i get mad at it. But i still love it.
Like Benson i love her but her and Stabler are not a good match. Yes they're partners and have been partners forever. But that doesn't mean they should be romantically involved.
I like Finn/Liv cause they have an understanding of eachother and don't barge into eachothers business, if that makes sense and and they have a respect for eachother, they can do stuff separately then come back to eachother.
With stabler/benson it's more like Stabler wants to know everything Benson is doing and then won't let benson in what he's doing. It's not an equal relationship like finn/benson would be.
Rollisi is a whole nother story, rollings won't let carisi in and wants to handle everything herself. It just won't work. Carisi deserves stability and rollings is not that
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