Surviving Desire (Hal Hartley, 1992)

Surviving Desire (1992) - Hal Hartley

Surviving Desire Hal Hartley. 1992

Record City 17 Academy St, Poughkeepsie, NY 12601, USA See in map

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Surviving desire (Hal Hartley, 1992)

Surviving Desire (1992) dir. Hal Hartley

Seen (again) in 2024:

Surviving Desire (Hal Hartley), 1992

Martin Donovan and Mary B. Ward in Surviving Desire (Hal Hartley, 1992)

Cast: Martin Donovan, Mary B. Ward, Matt Malloy, Rebecca Nelson, Julie Kessler. Screenplay: Hal Hartley. Cinematography: Michael Spiller. Production design: Steve Rosenzweig. Film editing: Hal Hartley. Music: The Great Outdoors, Hal Hartley.

There's a brilliant moment in the middle of Hal Hartley's short film Surviving Desire when Sofie (Mary B. Ward), who is on the cusp of an affair with her professor, Jude (Martin Donovan), reads to him from a story she's been writing. It recounts the thoughts of a man articulating his feelings about the relationship he is in with a woman. When she finishes, Jude asks her to read it again, but to change the voice in the story from a man's to a woman's. When she does, the effect of the same words, with only the pronouns changed from "he" to "she," is subtly and poignantly different. Unfortunately, any insight the change might have made in the relationship between Jude and Sofie doesn't persist. This little film, just under an hour, is a case study in postmodernism and its sometimes paralyzing irony. I can imagine D.H. Lawrence, for example, might run screaming from the room if he could have been shown Surviving Desire. It's an object lesson in what he most disliked about modern life: the disjunction from the instinctual and the immediate -- what he referred to as "sex in the head." Henry James might have marveled at the exquisite self-consciousness of Hartley's characters, and E.M. Forster, who chose as epigraph for Howards End the phrase "only connect," would have nodded in sorrow at the failed connections in the film. But I think the presiding influence on Hartley's movie is Jean-Luc Godard, whose men and women talk their way through relationships just as Jude and Sofie do, but who are also capable of bursting into moments of irrational play, like the dance number Jude segues into after falling in love with Sofie. It's a steal from the Madison scene in Godard's Bande à Part (1964). Hartley's movie is a bittersweet comedy. It opens with Jude reading from The Brothers Karamazov, trying to get his students to comprehend Dostoevsky. They don't: Someone literally throws the book at him and others walk out. We come to realize that perhaps Jude doesn't comprehend Dostoevsky either: When he recounts the writer's tortured life to the class, it's easy to see that Jude has never experienced anything of that order, that the intellectual content of the novel eclipses for him the emotional content that comes from Dostoevsky's life. The film ends with Sofie, working in a bookstore, repeating the words "Can I help anyone?" to the customers who mill around her, her tone of voice suggesting that she hopes no one will answer. Hartley's characters are beyond help, stuck in their own minds. A bartender in the movie says that "Americans ... want a tragedy with a happy ending." What Hartley gives them is a comedy with an ending that's neither tragic nor comic but rather that special postmodern blend of both.

wilson saying “I need to do this. for you.” is fucking insane actually. in the same episode where house is deciding whether or not he should commit suicide as a result of wilson’s dying. They are each other’s lines between life and death. humans have a biological instinct to preserve their survival at all costs; house has an addiction that governs his life. but they were willing to forgo all of it for one another, because they couldn’t fathom it being any other way. IM SICK

Topaz Winters, from Portrait of My Body as a Crime I'm Still Committing; “Call Me Before You Leave Again”

[Text ID: “I will survive. I will remain here either way, my / bedsheets made of velvet & lavender, falling in love / with the sound of my own want.”]

~ and if I can dissolve I do ~

(hanahaki au below the cut)

AU where Peeta develops the hanahaki disease during Catching Fire and the only people that understand the significance of it are Mrs Everdeen and Haymitch, both of which he swears to secrecy since he's going to die in the arena anyway. Snow also recognises the symptoms (rumour has it he underwent surgery shortly after his time in D12) when Peeta is unable to hide it from the cameras during the Quell. The flowers are removed as part of the hijacking process, but whether it was successful or not is uncertain - dandelions are a stubborn weed after all, and their roots grow deep.

thinking about crowley and "my lover's got humor, she's the giggle at a funeral" and "knows everybody's disapproval, i should have worshipped her sooner" and "if the heavens ever did speak then she's the last true mouth piece" and "the only heaven i'll be sent to is when i'm alone with you" and "my lover's the sunlight" and "i was born sick but i love it" and "there is no sweeter innocence then our gentle sin"

Surviving Desire Hal Hartley. 1992

Will you marry me? 13 Market St, Poughkeepsie, NY 12601, USA See in map

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Here is what I am learning: Sometimes, one finds oneself in the unenviable position of being, say, in one's 30's, looking back at work you did when you were 19, or at work from current talented 19 year olds, and thinking "wow, why is this better than the stuff I've been struggling to do during a long dry spell?" There is nothing particularly unique about being a young adult (except maybe energy/time) that makes a person good at doing stuff they're working hard at. At 19 many people, probably including yourself, were in college, amongst peers, being exposed to new things, making cross-disciplinary connections, thinking critically, practicing with the intent of improving, actively using your brain and building synapses, and ideally being encouraged to do so while in a stable environment. The missing ingredient is not Youth or Talent-- it's regular brain exercise and not trying to be creative in a vacuum. Your brain can start working out at any time, it's not stuck where it is. Read long stuff, research something that interests you, engage with a topic outside of your current level expertise that you have to work to understand, watch something older than you are, talk to someone on a regular basis, practice something without the intent to share it. Don't try to do it all overnight. Sleep on it. The flexibility comes back, I promise. It's a recovery process and works the same as any other recovery process.

Surviving Desire (1992) dir. Hal Hartley

ok sure i'll talk about farleigh start. i'll talk about his tragedy of never being enough as it were and then having to deal with fucking oliver. sure. disclaimer: it's about class (and race) and the horrible reality of the rich. the horrible reality of living as farleigh.

another disclaimer: i'm white! and poc definitely pick up on everything i'm talking about here as it is, and better. i was and am specifically interested in farleigh vs. oliver but it's impossible to examine without considering race. definitely let me know if anything abt this sucks!

farleigh and oliver are similar. it's annoying because every intruder that is not himself is annoying, partly because felix's attention swaying from farleigh is dangerous; there is always a threat of being discarded, even if no precedent existed. the potential is terrifying.

but you'd think he's seen this before, every summer (if venetia is telling the truth) or at least often enough to learn to recognize it fast, so he should know this will pass. part of it is i think still the deep anxiety, and i think he hated every boy that was there before, and it is sort of routine.

but definitely a huge factor in farleigh's annoyance is the fact that he's a biracial (black for cattons, that's all they see) man in a white rich household. he's alert and exhausted all the time. of course he's angry at oliver, regardless of whether he's the first to crash at saltburn for the summer or the fifty-first.

but the important thing is this.

farleigh is very jealous of and angry and pissed at oliver because farleigh sees all the similarities between them. outsider, in financial trouble, whatever it is, in need of cattons; and yet oliver is preferred. and farleigh seems to be the only one to really consider it. felix does not pick up on the hint when farleigh brings up the birthday party vs. his mother. felix's clumsy "different or... anything like that" is as much about race as it is about class, of course. the "we've done all that we can" bit is felix absolving himself of guilt because surely they had, surely the mysterious collective cattons that he's not really part of had tried all they could do. to him, farleigh is different from oliver, because farleigh has been helped. felix is rich and white and twofold uncomfortable with farleigh, even if he's nice about it, even if he genuinely enjoys his company; he doesn't look too close at farleigh because he feels too guilty to come too close. and farleigh can't do anything about it. he can't nice himself into it. the fucking tragedy of him is that he's never enough in the world of the ultra-rich white, even if (especially because!) he's born into it.

farleigh is very pissed at oliver because farleigh also sees all the differences between them. you know who can be nice poor white enough to fit in? fucking oliver. felix says "just be yourself, they'll love you" when oliver first moves in. farleigh was also probably told the same thing, and felix also probably believed that farleigh could just be himself, but even if the cattons were magically not racist at all (impossible), it wouldn't make a difference to farleigh. he would still self-censor, keep in check, be in dangerous waters (because racism is not just about the individual, but about the system). we see that he'd won himself leeway by years of trial and error by the way he speaks to the family, but it's still within the boundaries of acceptable, built by the cattons. he's part of them because they allow it, and farleigh is very, very aware.

the annoying thing is oliver can be himself. like, truly, genuinely, he can just be. and farleigh can't help but envy that.

as a side note, oliver is obviously jealous of farleigh in the beginning as well, because regardless of the reality of farleigh's situation, he was born into it, and hence, at least in oliver's mind, has his position solidified. oliver's whole thing is unquenchable thirst and hunger for whatever and everything the cattons have (including themselves!). he wishes to have been a catton from birth. to oliver, at first, there's nothing farleigh can really do to lose it. and until he figures out the cattons completely, he can't help but envy that.

but i think farleigh senses something different about oliver early on. at least on the level of the text, we have "you're almost passing [for] a real, human boy", which is so important because farleigh is the first to point out oliver's weirdness. the next to do so is venetia in the bath scene calling him a freak, but it's too late. farleigh is too early.

and i like to think he clocks oliver too early because he sees the jagged edges that he recognizes in himself. i think that one other thing that farleigh envies is oliver's freedom to let go. freedom to let go is very similar to freedom to be, but not quite the same.

to be is about perception: farleigh knows he cannot fall out of line, but would like to, and oliver does not have to worry about it at all (i mean, he does, because oliver also performs for felix, but farleigh doesn't know that).

to let go is about the self: farleigh is too scared to even want what oliver eventually does, to even consider the possibility. oliver can let himself want. oliver can let himself act. oliver just can do things and want things. i'm not sure farleigh can.

and so in this scene, when oliver's wants and actions have landed him nowhere with farleigh, felix, venetia, the cattons, of course farleigh gloats. he can let himself do that, because if the cattons are slowly discarding him, farleigh can allow himself this one small victory. he's relieved because despite the dangerous similarities, oliver is, thankfully, not really the same as farleigh, right?

but like. this movie is a love letter to all things gothic. oliver is a white man. he prevails. the brief performance that oliver put on did eventually end up more effective than farleigh's lifetime of constraint. my heart fucking breaks for him to be honest.

the issue that remains is the fact of farleigh's survival. i like to think that oliver came to respect him. oliver is smart, but farleigh is clever. he picks up on everything oliver does (to refer back to the karaoke scene, farleigh immediately retaliates in the cleverest way, in the moment), and he's the only one to do so consistently (venetia, again, for example, comes close, but too late; oliver doesn't like that, there's nothing to work with). hence, stay with me for a little longer, the paradox: farleigh survives because he was never enough for the cattons, but he is very worthy of oliver's attention. in his own freaky way, oliver wants him. look at that.

so. farleigh. farleigh might come back. he always comes back. and i think oliver wants to try harder next time.

Lae'zel is like a play on the "I'm not other girls" thing, except she's trying SO hard to be like other Gith girls. She's trying to steel her heart and be a perfect soldier in the collective army serving beneath Vlaakith. No will of her own. Just blind servitude alongside the other Gith who are also denying their own individualism.

Rather than gutting the companions right then and there - as any other Githyanki would do - she joins them AND promises them a cure. A cure that was meant to be ONLY for Githyanki warriors. And she doesn't know about the lies or the fact that he cure is a death sentence, but she still extends that olive branch to the group. She'll speak up when she's grouchy and try to project a hard exterior, but she's SO secretly soft.

When you approach Rosymorn, she'll stay on that part of the map if you try to leave. Upon returning, you can make her admit she missed you.

You can make the strong Gith who was raised to pillage, kill, and conquer admit that she missed the player character.

Lae'zel isn't like other Gith Girls.

Her act two scene is trying to progress the romance as though it were between two Gith raised within that culture. It's a fight to prove your worth through your battle prowess, which makes only the best *warriors* worthy of companionship. However, it becomes clear that isn't want Lae'zel wants. If the player loses, and Bae'zel beats the fuck out of them, she becomes distraught because she doesn't WANT to fight her romantic partner.

She wants to mutually protect one another. She wants companionship with her partner. She wants to enjoy the sunrise with them, feel the tickle of the night breeze, see the Tears of Selune chase after the moon across the night sky, she wants to live and she wants to share those experiences with her love. She doesn't WANT to be the stone cold Gith that she was raised to be.

Lae'zel wasn't given any role to do with the eggs, but once the egg is in the party's possession, she's instantly drawn to it. When Xan hatches, she gives him a name to represent that he'll be raised to be free to be himself. He'll have the freedom to choose his own path, whatever that maybe. Xan DOESN'T have to be like the other Gith. He could be a scholar, an artist, a warrior, anything he wishes to be. It's his life and Lae'zel is just happy to see her little Xan be raised with the freedom she didn't realize she craved until she arrived on that silly little planet.

Lae'zel isn't like other Gith girls because no two people are the same, even if raised in the same circumstances and culture. Everyone is an individual, even when they serve a collective or are fighting alongside Allies with the same main goal.

Lae'zel isn't just a nameless, faceless soldier. She isn't interchangeable with other Gith. She isn't like the other Gith girlies.