#sunnnfish
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Hiii malt :3 ask game time… thoughts on shirashiro (shirahama tashiro) GO! And any other shirahama ships you feel strongly about :3
SUNNYYYYYY HIIII okay okay i feel like we all know i have unending thoughts and ideas about shirahama kyouji and his relationships right this is common knowledge now. shirashiro is so... i have feelings about them
in canon context. mmm i love them but i cannot see it but also it does definitely compel me. ive entertained the thought of them before but for me it just comes down to them being more fun to think of as platonic. howeverrr, if they were to be together or at least if they were to like each other? well then there would be thoughts I could have.
like, say you have this friend. and for the purpose of this thought bubble we will say that this friend is named something that starts with a T. so say you have this friend and youve known each other since middle school. you are both close and arent, best friends yet acquaintances, you know what i mean.
say this friend who's name ends in ashiro goes to the same high school as you and you drift apart for a little bit. he has his friends and you're content just existing. but then one day you suddenly find yourself hanging out with them and things spiral. say you find yourself liking his friends, opening up to them in the strange trying-to-be uncommitted way that you do. say your friend invites you to join clubs with him and you are there to watch him amble around through life trying to find a Something for himself. say you watch him and you realize just how well you know him. accidentally of course. you'd never go out of your way to know someone like that who isn't a girl you're trying to date. obviously. but you find yourself recognizing what he's doing and why he does it and you try to help but there arent really words to say about this sort of thing.
say you think about the high school experience, growing and growing and somehow changing in ways you didn't expect. say your friend joins a certain club and you arent too into it but you come along just to see how things are. and while youre there you see your friend, who you have know for a good amount of time, act in a way you haven't really seen before. and you know that to anyone else it wouldn't be too out of the ordinary and to be honest its not that big of a deal but you still find yourself noticing it anyways. and you both want to quit that same club. for the same reasons (for sure, definitely) and you get to quit and leave and he's still there and he stays and it sticks to you.
i was going a lot of places with this but halfway though i went outside and became normal again and also kinda lost my train of thought so forgive me im just gonna explain where i was going with this in a not neurotic way (lies)
so shirahama. that guy. i like to think he would have a crush on tashiro in middle school that you can only have on your best friend. i think he would be seeing everyone around them dating and falling in love and go "i want that. how do i get that?" and then find himself falling for tashiro. i think tashiro has no thoughts about dating shirahama until second year (and give me a moment on that one.) and i think that shirahama forces himself to move on from his crush to "grow up" so to speak in between middle and high school. i think that even then he never lets himself forget about it and it haunts him and he can never get a date because he wants it to keep haunting him. shirashiro join the ping-pong club, two go in one comes out. absolute bloodbath. and in the end shirahama gets what he wanted. his friend is somehow a lot happier in his weird little Club with his weird little Thing that he has with the president ("previous president!" shirahama gives him a look that says the distinction doesn't really matter to him but the look thrown back makes him realize it should) and vice president. and you see now here is where i come back to that part about second year.
because. the thing is. well. tashiro does think about shirahama. maybe not in the same way all the time or as often or as deeply. but he does. he thinks about everything and everyone, really, so it shouldn't really stand out so much but it does. second year comes and relationships bloom (or he thinks they do) and festivals are had and its... fine. and then it just sort of happens. like it jumps into him mind "oh wouldn't that be something." and he acts like it wouldn't be and that he never thinks about it again but he does and its hilarious. a grand old comedy show. shirahama walks out stage left and tashiro has forgotten where he was supposed to stand. it can never happen at the right time and their feelings chase on the tails of one another and its just a fun time. tashiro kind-of-sort-of-not-really gets over it by third year but then oops, what's this, he's grown taller and shirahama cant help but notice the little ways tashiro has changed since way back when and now he's back in the pit. cue laugh track.
and yeah that's kinda how they are in my mind. but now if you want to get into other shirahama ships... well hold on i will continue in another reblog
#thank you for the ask sunny love youuuu#give me a minute i have a shirabashi triad locked and ready for you#sunnfish#sunnnfish#shirashiro#end verdict on these two though: i like the thought of them but would not really want them to get together. i enjoy them in other pairings#more maybe thats why? but also i just think they could have a stronger case in my mind if i thought about them more in a romantic sense#also some of this doesn't make sense so if something i said sounds off ignore ignore ignoreee#malt asks#malt rants
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kiri reading volume 4 of the case files of jeweler richard no one move. Shelter in place I’m gonna be really weird
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Hirano to Kagiura Analysis Ch.9: Hirano's answer
We've finally reached the chapter where Kagiura manages to make Hirano get that Kagiura is in love with him!
The chapter is divided in four parts. The first is in the school hallway, where Niibaashi tells Kagiura that he probably really did confess to Hirano. Second part is in the dorm room and is where the third confession takes place. It's also by far the longest part. The third part is in the dorm hallway, where Hirano affirms that he's staying in the dorm the next year. Last part is back in the dorm room with Hirano waking up Kagiura. I'm gonna track Hirano's feelings and thoughts during the last three parts, because there are some odd ones in there. Mostly caused by Hirano having zero understanding of how romance works.
Like how Hirano didn't get that the confession in the nurse's office was meant in a romantic sense.
Some very important context for this chapter: Hirano thought Kagiura's odd behavior and sleeplessness in the last chapter was because he had scared Kagiura. So for Hirano, the confession was mostly reassurance that the sleep deprivation wasn't his fault. Plus, as this chapter VERY CLEARLY ends up showing, Hirano just does not get romance.
Okay, that's not COMPLETELY fair. He gets it enough to try and let Kagiura down gently. Not gonna go into details of his reactions during the whole confession and talking about it. He's awkward, gets a little mad when Kagiura doesn't accept the rejection, and gets bashful when Kagiura explain his feelings more in depth. I'm more interested in Hirano's relief after them talking about it.
Hirano first thought that he had done something, then that it wasn't because of him, and then learns that it was kinda because of him, just not something specific that he had done. His relief comes after Kagiura says that he wants things to stay the same. As it becomes clear in the next part, at this point he thinks that the whole thing has been Solved.
Because in the next (very short) part, he's acting the same way that he usually does when Kagiura compliments him or shows that he cares, even though Hirano now knows that Kagiura is in love with him.
Of course Kagiura would miss Hirano, he's in love with him. But Hirano is reacting the same way to that minor confession as he did before learning of Kagiura's romantic feelings.
That changes when Hirano wakes Kagiura up in the next part and Kagiura blushes.
Suddenly the problems from ch.8 aren't solved.
Hirano genuinely thought that after he had rejected Kagiura and they decided to keep going as they had, it would be over. Problem solved, moving on. Pretty much anyone knowing anything about romance would recognize that Kagiura was settling for second best when wanting things to stay as they had, and that he'd still want to be with Hirano romantically if he could. But Hirano very much DIDN'T get that. But now he kinda does, which means the source of Kagiura's sleep deprivation and avoidance of Hirano is, as Hirano sees it, still very much a Problem.
#Hirano might be able to somewhat read Kagiura#but because he doesn't get romance at ALL#he still has problems getting where Kagiura is coming from#Hirano thinking of the whole situation as a Problem is in part inspired by sunnnfish's post#hirano to kagiura#hirano to kagiura analysis#hirano taiga#kagiura akira#kagihira
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hi @sunnnfish and @dirtbra1n
do u think hirano on some way is also afraid of his friendship or even relationship w kagi suffering or ending if they get together and break up? all the thoughts of the next next... does he think hes just a notch on the belt
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ty for the tag @estradasphere !! i'm just slow about replying to things...
five shuffled songs from my favorite playlist (since i don't really have a favorite, i picked just my playlist of "stuff i'm currently listening to")
Kiro Akiyama - Caffeine
MaikiP - CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY
ARAKI - Dead End Salvation
yukkedoluce - POCKET MOON RABBIT
Kashii Moimi - Makeup
i will tag... hm, @kagiura-akira @sunnnfish @dirtbra1n @malt-rants-and-stuff? but if anyone wants to do it feel free. or feel free to not do it!
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sunny sunny sunnnfish ask game timeeee any thoughts on miyazawa (miyano-hanzawa) :) also curving out of left field but any thoughts on chilshi dungeon meshi ?
HI MALT. IM SO SORRY THIS IS SO LATE. GENUINELY DIDN'T SEE THIS IN MY INBOX.? but anyways. hehehehh. so like. miyazawa. upon my very first reading of sasamiya i had the tiniest feeling that hanzawa could've had a crush on miyano. i can't remember specifically why. hes just kinda... weird about miyano sometimes. so like. it does compel me and kinda makes sense...? but like the thing about hanzawa is that i think he holds his feelings inside him for very very long times. even if he did have feelings for miyano like. that would stay bottled up in a corner of his heart for five years minimum. he also seems like the. if you love them let them go type. if we're in a world where miyano still likes sasaki then he would just. let that happen. as for miyano... hmmm. its almost like. i can't see him ever really developing feelings unless someone confesses to him first..? i have a hard time shipping miyano with anyone else because sasaki is just sooooo perfect for him. like the way it developed couldn't have happened with anyone else. so like. it all does compel me but in a like. hanzawa character study way. and miyano's just kinda there. and like miyano certainly does respect hanzawa a lot !! but maannn i just really can't see miyano falling in love with anyone else. (probably could with prompting by someone much better at writing than i am though... im never opposed to anything)
and then curveball chilshi dungeon meshi.... honestly have never really seen the appeal...? but i think its cause like. dungeon meshi is one of those things that so perfect to me, especially in its existing relationships, that like. i don't want to change any of it. i do think the combined dad power is really funny though. and they've got a fun mutual respect for each other. so its like i do kinda see why people would ship them but at the same time it feels a little bit like pair the spares. and the fact that they don't have any like prominent ship-worthy relationships like farcille and sometimes labru. so its like oohh chilchuck and senshi don't have a super homoerotic friendship with someone... why not just pair them up instead. but it really is mainly i just love dungeon meshi so much as it is that adding like. random romantic relationships to the existing relationship dynamics is so unnecessary to me. BUT all that to say i'm not against it at all and i do like seeing art and stuff of them :3
#hiiii malt... sorry again for answering so so late....#thank you for the ask...!!!#sunnfish.ask#malt-rants-and-stuff
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Kagihira week day 1: studying
Also gonna be crossposting to Twitter (@/sunnnfish) I guess since the main event is there but my tumblr friends get this early. As a treat <3 also my brain is vibrating a mile a minute due the all the content I feel so ALIVE
[Image Description: A digital illustration of Hirano Taiga and Kagiura Akira from Hirano to Kagiura, using a predominantly yellow and purple color palette. It depicts them sitting shoulder to shoulder at a table, with notes and papers spread around them, both holding pencils. Hirano is leaning over close to Kagiura to look at Kagiura’s paper, while Kagiura is looking at Hirano and slightly blushing. They otherwise have neutral expressions. /End Description]
#hirano to kagiura#hirano and kagiura#hirano taiga#kagiura akira#sunnfish.pdf#KagihiraWeek2022#I did this like. faster than usual and different style etc etc so I feel like it looks a little odd#but it’s fine. woah two cakes etc etc#kagihira week 2022#December 2022
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flow of the river (treading together)
I can’t stop thinking about Hanzashiro, and them and rivers (adding a tag to @dirtbra1n because you also inspired me greatly), and specifically this post from @sunnnfish about Tashiro being aroace-spec in the exact way I am. So I wrote 5k words like a madman, but I’m not fully done and my lizard brain wants to release the bit I like best into the wild now instead of later. (added context of this is like, middle of the story and their third time meeting and Tashiro saw Hanzawa enter the river but didn’t say anything).
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Tashiro finds himself in the middle of the river, spinning in place, searching. A sudden voice comes from behind him.
“Did you have fun staring?”
He screams. Backpedals, and the uneven sediment in the riverbed makes him slip backwards. A hand grabs his arm and pulls him forward.
It’s all very familiar, he realizes. Even more so when he gains his bearings and sees that the figure in front of him was the exact person he’d been hoping to see for so long.
“Hanzawa! What, why are you here?”
“I could ask you the same. Not to mention,” Hanzawa starts, and his hand on Tashiro’s arm moves to the small of his waist. “You’re still wearing all your clothes.”
Tashiro sputters, lost for words. The hand on his waist picks at his t-shirt under the water. “Taking them off felt like too much work. I think it’s weirder you took all yours off!”
“Do you think I’m weird, Tashiro?” Hanzawa’s tone lost its lilting quality.
Tashiro swallowed, he was sure the other man heard it.
“No more than I am.”
They were still standing seconds apart. Crickets whined in the distance, and their only light was the waning moon. They spoke in whispers.
“Are you sure of that? Ask me, Tashiro, ask me why I came to the river.”
Was his mouth always this dry?
“Why did you come to the river, Hanzawa?”
A finger brushed just under the hem of his shirt.
“I like how the frigid water feels when you first give it all of yourself. How it cuts and stings and steals your breath on impact.”
Tashiro’s hair was still down, now plastered to his face. Water droplets were rolling one by one down his cheeks. Hanzawa brought his other hand to push the offending hair back before speaking again.
“Sometimes I dive beneath the surface to see how long I can stay there. To see if this is the time the water will claim me.” He released his hold on Tashiro, and took a step back. He laughed; it felt just shy of disturbing.
Tashiro stole back the space between them, closing it and moving the hair out of Hanzawa’s face. With his forehead freed, eyes exposed, and moonlight highlighting every contour, he was mesmerizing.
“Don’t you wanna know why I came to the river?” Tashiro asked.
“Okay, Tashiro.” Hanzawa started, tilting his head into Tashiro’s hand; he hadn’t registered that he was still touching the other man. “Why are you here, fully clothed in the river?”
“Promise you won’t think it’s stupid?”
“Cross my heart.”
“I’ve been coming here for months, hoping to see you again. I don’t even think I can like people like that, even though I want to more than anything. But I can’t stop thinking about you.” He sighed. “We’ve barely interacted and yet, it feels like you see through me better than any of my friends. I don’t know what that means, but I want to find out.”
Hanzawa laughed. It was with his whole being, doubled over, one arm covering his eyes. He was half submerged in the water, and when he raised his head, Tashiro was hypnotized by the beads of water dripping from his hair.
He reached out and moved the strands out his face once more.
The laughter continued and Tashiro found himself pouting as if he hadn’t just bared his heart like he never had before.
“My goodness,” Hanzawa chuckled out. “I’m not laughing because what you said was funny, but more how I can’t believe this is how this interaction is going.”
Tashiro splashed a wave onto Hanzawa. “Y-you can’t just laugh!”
#hanzawa to tashiro#hanzashiro#hanzawa masato#tashiro gonzaburou#sasaki to miyano#i don't know if this is any good and it's not done ofc#but i need to free some part of this before i chicken out and never share any of it with anyone ever#i made a wholeass side blog because i have so many feelings about this universe and the characters#and it would be weird to start mega fanblogging on my main blog at this point i guess
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@sunnnfish and tashiro
art by @Cocoslayed on twitter:))
#i mean FAV SHIP RN#tashiro girlification project was so iconic#and now the comic drop#ALSO CANT FORGET THAT REALISTIC PIECE THAT YOU DID#yeah so iconic
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a more detailed version of my last drawing's idea. hope it's ok but tagging @sunnnfish @dirtbra1n and @massyworld cos you guys hyped me up ❤️ hope u like this updated vers! (i cleaned it up from last night)
based on Roleplay with my bf.
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Hiiiii Spotify wrapped number 99… and ummm 44 ^_^
Hiiiiii sunny<3
Number 44: I'd Have to Think About It by Leith Ross
Me: i dont pine that much
Leith Ross: You are my achilles heel, the weakness only I can feel
Me: i take everything back
but anyways yes this song is so very dear to me as i am weak to love songs. (and also it gives me visions of a wlw hanzashiro au i abandoned a while back)
Number 99: Clueless by Ellie Williams
oh the age old 'does she know i like her? do i want her to know?' moment in song form... very good song i love the instruments and the flow is gorgeous
#thanks for the ask!#now time for me to go into a 3 hour coma before i go be a real human being#malt rants#malt asks#sunnnfish#ask game#spotify wrapped
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mostly so far. like re: hanako deliberately bringing up the murder he committed. and making threats against kou as a form of self- harm punishment and sabotage. because he doesn’t feel he deserves to be seen as good. because he doesn’t feel that he is good. and the direct IMMEDIATE consequence of teru showing up to, on paper in plainest terms, save his little brother from, on paper in plainest terms, evident danger at the hands of the supernatural who’s got him pinned with a knife at his throat. this is all so fucked. kou hasn’t ever seen his brother wearing the expression he’s wearing right now and the expression is SCARY and kou is being torn between believing in hanako’s goodness and believing in his brother’s competence and talent and it’s like. he’s a younger sibling and younger siblings follow the lead of their older siblings. so what if teru is right about hanako?
what if he isn’t?
and teru’s doing what he needs to, what he’s been tasked to do, and part of it needs to be that kou had a knife to his throat, but the other part has to be that he told kou it was too much for him and he told kou that he wasn’t mature enough for this and the only reason he conceded is because his baby brother pleaded with him to get another shot at it. and then the next day he doesn’t have a choice but to intervene! part of it needs to be that kou had a knife to his throat, his little brother had a knife to his throat, but the other part of it has to be that he shouldn’t have conceded, but given that he did kou should have just listened to him. like has teru ever had cause to resent his younger brother before. I don’t know yet! but before this kou thought that teru must surely be going into all those fights, doing all he does, with a smile on his face, because he was always wearing a smile when he turned back to look at him. and he’s finding out now that that wasn’t the case. how much of that was teru protecting his younger brother from thinking about the nature of what was happening and how much of it was teru wanting to keep kou from looking at him with this expression.
how much of it was an older sibling’s obligation and how much of it was a tactical prevention of a stab through the heart. is all I mean.
#also the look in hanako’s eyes. jesus FUCKING christ#hi sunnnfish are you seeing this. When the Wanting to die hits#tbhk#jshk#dirtbrain digression#AND THATS ALL. WITHOUT SAYING#THAT KOU IS THE ONE WHO HAD THE KNIFE TO HIS THROAT. BUT HE’S ALSO THE ONE WHO SAW THE LOOK IN HANAKO’S EYES#so he KNOWS that something is off with hanako but he can’t say that anymore! the opportunity with trust has passed!#kou is the boy who cried wolf already because teru can’t afford to let anymore near misses happen!#kou needs to be the boy who cried wolf after just this because teru doesn’t know that the next time won’t have him eaten!#i am going to die.
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doing this technically after valentines day ends but @philcollinsenjoyer think of it as a valentines thing 🫶
last song I listened to: ahora entregate adolescentes orquesta
three ships: was fighting for my life trying to think of ones that don’t make me tear my hair out with my compartmentalizing issues. auguste you had to expect zhancheng. todobaku after them they are THE anime boys to me love them so much. and after THAT superbat. I love it when relationships are funny Sorry
currently reading: technically still reading orv omniscient reader’s viewpoint because I’m scared to finish it but I also feel like I’m never not reading it
last movie I watched: finally watched everything everywhere all at once for the first time in the theater last week and had my life changed. also watching rouge 1987 for a class but I haven’t finished it yet
craving: like a refreshing tangerine sounds really nice right now
tagging: @sunnnfish @vyathacov
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also like idk if anyone else has realized but
hirano's:
is one step away from "did i want to touch him?" because as we've observed he looks disappointed so really "i guess kagi's not gonna touch me"> i expected kagi to touch me > i want kagi to touch me = i want to touch kagi right now
which is direct parallel to
just saying :)
@dirtbra1n @sunnnfish
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39 for Spotify wrapped :)
39: sarcasm by get scared
this song is so fun! it was also recommended to me by @sunnnfish (good taste)
send me a number from 1-100 and I’ll tell you the song it corresponds with on my top 100 playlist!
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hello dear sunnnfish for ask gaming I’d like to ask abt jellal & erza from fairy tail… also quick curveball what dyou think abt julie & alice from bakugan
HI CURVEBALL ILL GET TO YOU IN A MINUTE…. But ohhh goodness jellal and Erza. Definitely started out as makes sense and compels me. They were so good. So tragic. And they did start to have some good character growth with and without each other. But then they turned jellal into a fucking pervert and it’s BOOORRRIINNNGGGG. Where’s the TRAGEDY the SHARED TRAUMA. They could’ve been such a power couple. Doesnt even make sense anymore and doesnt compel me. Well it compels me in my mind where fairy tail is a perfect series.
JULIE AND ALICE BAKUGAN THOUGH…. Really think i could get behind any bakugan ship. Makes sense and compels me. Been a while since ive rewatched but liiike. Julie very energetic but down to earth and Alice very calm but sometimes pessimistic. Everything with masquerade. I love Alice man Anyways. With bakugan though i am more typically into the more canon relationships they give. Like Julie and Billy. Also to give more predictability points to me, my favorite character was Lync from the vexos and i did have a brief phase where I shipped him and Alice a little bit. Also a big fan of Runo and Julie though. Hashtag girl power. Wait big brain…. Runo Julie Alice…. Hell yeah. Anyways. This is making me want to rewatch bakugan…. Really good
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