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brimbrimbrimbrim · 2 years

Note

hi! for the eddie prompts, 27 + 49 + 45 pls uwu

Meshing two requests together on this one, and it's... beefy. I think I managed to squeeze all the prompts into this, but, well, you'll just have to read to find out, I guess. Also, huge thanks to @butterbabyflapjack for her beta skills. <3

💕 The prompt list is HERE for anyone else interested. 💕

Title: The End of the World and the Bed Frame

Words: 7k+

Tags: mutual masturbation, multiple orgasms, vaginal penetration, thigh riding, humping, one bed trope, magical powers, DnD logic, overstimulation, edging, unsafe sex, creampies, slight breeding kink (sorta), smut, dirty talk, fix-it fic, season 4 part 2 spoilers, and lovey-dovey shit <3

Summary: 27. being forced to share a bed and 49. mutual masturbation and 45. bed breaking sex and 31. "Say my name."

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

It’s midnight, according to the shitty, nicotine-stained alarm clock with burnt-out digital numbers and one of those attached quarter vibrators adjacent. Steve and Nancy have been gone for over an hour, and Robin is, as far as you know, on the other side of the motel. Hawkins is smoldering, but you’re both still alive—Eddie especially is still alive.

‘Naw, baby… not gonna make it. Just, tell Henderson he’s got-‘

‘Don’t, Eddie. You’re not dying because of a few stupid fucking bats,’ you snort up tears and snot and watch his eyes shed a few tears—watch his lips bleed another river of blood-lace spit, ‘and… besides, I’m a bard, remember?’

You stare at your finger in the golden light from the floor lamp in the corner, mixed with the blue tinge of Hawkins' night-blue sky. It’s bright with distant fires, casting your digits in an ethereal color that only makes them seem more unnatural. It’s strange to think there’s something within this flesh, these bones, and veins that gave Eddie enough life to haul him back through the gateway. Wild, you think, wiggling your fingers until they just seem like ordinary ones, not magical in the slightest.

“I wonder if the lake house is even standing, what with the portal in Lover’s Lake…”

You’re talking to yourself, not expecting the metal head in bed behind you to respond, though you wonder if he’s worried about the state of his trailer considering the portal on his ceiling…

From the bed, Eddie mumbles, “Only saving grace is my Uncle had to work a double tonight. Pretty sure everything I own is hot lava by now.”

“… Gonna miss the way you looked in that flannel,” you joke, but not really. Something about the stark red beneath his leather jacket turned his brown eyes into deep pools of pyrope.

“Shit was scratchy. Won’t miss it.”

You step away from the long, waist-high window by the motel door, fingers free from the blinds where you’ve been standing the past ten minutes in jittery paranoia. Eddie shifts stiffly back on the sole double bed and changes the channel on the static-heavy television set.

Your eyes roam the destruction of Eddie Munson from a safe distance as he snorts derisively at late-night cable game shows.

It’s been no less than twelve hours since you, Dustin and Eddie pulled yourselves back through the Upside Down into his dilapidated trailer and even less time since the portals dissected Hawkins into volcanic, fiery snot. And, after all that, Eddie’s still a wanted man, and the wounds he suffered thanks to those heavy metal-loving demo bats needed a place to heal. Your fingers throb with the memory of pinching his gashes together… pads pruned from his blood and the vigorous washings between spell-knitting his muscle and fat layers together… then wrapping them up with convenience-store gauze.

He looks like a patchwork mummy, kinda. All laid out in the middle of the bed with his tangled hair a halo around his head. He’s still in his boxers with a pillow over his lap because of side effects, though you’ve already seen… everything when you and Robin had him in the tub, viciously squeezing interdimensional saliva and inflamed poison from his bites in a numb haze. A few of the deepest gouges sit on his chest and sides, covered with gauze and medical tape, lightly stained through, while the rest of him is a tapestry and fresh scabs, raised welts, and plum-yellowing bruises. There’s only so much your powers could fix in a short time, and while you joked about it before, those fucking bats really did a number of him.

Eddie looks like living hell… but he finds something stupid on the television and snorts out a laugh.

“Need anything else from your lunch box?” You ask to fill the loud silence of recent memories.

Eddie turns his head, cheek stuffed in a mess of brown curls fanning the fluffed pillow, and licks his lower lip, “I’m good. I’m… shit doesn’t hurt anymore. But, ya know, like… feel free to help yourself to whatever you want in there. Got some pre-rolls in the pencil case. I think...”

While the offer is tempting, there’s too much tension for grass to cut through—too anxious to enjoy it.

“… umm, thanks, but I’m okay for now. One of us needs to be on alert in case… something happens,” you tell him, tugging close the smokey curtains and double—triple—checking the locks on the thin motel door. It still doesn’t feel all that safe, but Hawkins police have enough on their hands, more than enough to bother wasting precious time hunting down Eddie Munson, who, according to their limited knowledge, may not even be alive.

It was close, though, that whole nearly dying business… too close.

You pick at the fast food baggy on the corner table while the past twenty-four hours finally weigh on your rattled mind. A waft of cheesy oil and stale fries floats out of the paper bag, making your nose wrinkle. Eddie’s already eaten two burgers and slurped down a milkshake, but yours is still sitting there… cold and unappetizing.

“You want my burger, Eddie?”

From the bed, Eddie groans, “Nice try, but you gotta eat, my fair maiden.”

You twist your lips and ignore his well-intentioned response, shaking off the pet name with a rub of your itchy eyes. You can’t handle the Eddie-made butterflies on top of the tension.

“I think… I’d rather shower first; maybe then my appetite’ll return,“ you say, playing with the filth-heavy hem of your Mayhem shirt with a frown. “Will you be okay on your own for a bit? I just need fifteen minutes… maybe twenty, to scrub all this interdimensional crap off.”

Eddie’s gaze darkens over your figure. The elephant in the room becomes apparent as a blotchy blush paints the apples of his cheeks.

“Uh, what about your clothes… Harrington and Wheeler were supposed to bring you back some stuff, weren't they?”

“Yeah, but I’m so fucking itchy. I promise I’ll tightly tie the towel around my dirty pillows for your modesty.”

Hawkins’ most famous hellraiser looks back at the television, not voicing that you’ve seen him, so it’s not a big deal if you’re in a towel for an hour or more. For a moment, you think he’s gonna make a joke, but Eddie just bites his lip and changes the channel with a stiff shrug. “Don’t think you need to worry about that. I’ve seen enough tits in my time… besides, I’m too stoned to think about your boobs.”

You smile because the alternative is screaming.

“Don’t tell me one of those things made you high?”

“Dude, you eat one of those things and try not to pop a boner…”

And, there’s that elephant in the room too, but you're not gonna lose another second over that. Mainly because despite the apocalypse, you can’t stop thinking about crawling between his legs to suck his problem away—mostly, though, aside from that filthy desire, you’re just happy he’s not in any pain, even if hard drugs made you uncomfortable. Always bring with them the childhood trauma and your dependency on downers to get through the anxiety of life as some freak—some terrifying burden…

“Do you need another one?” You ask, crossing your arms, eyes avoiding the pillow over his lap and the redness over his cheeks.

“Naw, but… if you bestow upon me a spliff and a torch, I will stroke… uh, toke… meant to toke like puff… umm, until this thing is gone.”

It physically hurts not to give in and laugh at his blunder—at his awkward Dungeon Master voice that’s way too endearing for the end of the world. It makes more sense for the adrenaline and relief of actually surviving the shit they just went through to give him wood, though you both know that’s not the culprit, but… far be it for you to argue why Eddie getting more stoned might only make his wood problem worse. At any rate, you fish his lighter and a rolled joint out of his tin lunch pail and place both gently on the pillow covering his, as he called it ‘shame.’

“You’re just lucky Nancy got us a smoking room.”

“Yeah, she’s a real angel throwing you in here with me, my boner, and I. At least Harrington wouldn’t be offended by it.”

“… I’m not offended,” you mumble, ignoring the way he fumbles with the joint before shoving it between his teeth, “just wasn’t expecting it to still be hanging around, is all.”

“Yeah, well,” Eddie scrapes the light, igniting the flint and taking a hard drag. On the exhale, he continues, “You saved my ass, baby. The last thing you deserved was my Maiden Slayer poking you in the eye.”

“Please tell me you don’t actually call it the Maiden Slayer.”

Eddie grins, still rosy-cheeked with thick smoke curling out the corner of his mouth, “This is what opioids do to me. Pretty charming, huh?”

“Endlessly,” you deadpan, unable to bite down your smile.

You nudge the remote closer to him and tap the dixie cup of water on the bedside table, silently reminding him to drink it while you’re in the shower. He doesn’t nod, but the smile says he’ll do his best—the one that creases beneath his eyes, dimples his cheeks, and makes you wish you’d met his Maiden Slayer before all this.

Once more, you check the locks, ignoring the urge to do it several more times before passing quickly between the bed and the television, all stiff and full of that tension Eddie has sustained, just like he’s sustained that boner you want to drain… but won’t.

Eddie’s eyes follow you like hot coals, but your tummy flutters—all knotted with emotion—and you hurry faster, throwing the door shut behind you.

<><><><>

As soon as she slams the bathroom door, Eddie slides up against the headboard, knocking the pillow off his lap to shove all five fingers in the elastic band of his boxers. The lighter clatters to the carpet, an irrelevant concern while he juggles his cock and balls with the wet roach smoldering in his mouth. His eyes hang on the door, swallowing fuzzy nerves, and he gives his aching cock a rough stroke, lashes fluttering at that first sweet hit of relief. He’s been stiff for the past hour, trying his fucking hardest to think about Upside Down slugs and bad grades to bid it back down, but the fair maiden’s touch still burns all over, and any inhibitions are gone with Eddie’s humble rock god origins. He put on the most metal show ever, survived the typhoon of demo bats, and got a slightly unsexy scrub bath from his one and only true savior, the party’s bard. Without her and those superpowers, he’d be demon guano by now…

“Goddamnitt… that’s fucking good.” Eddie holds in a whimper, eyes rolling back as he squeeze-jerks off his base until blood swells in his tip. Fuck… that’s it… only be better if she was doing it… if she was wrapped around him, seesawing in his lap like she wants him…

The vicodin gave him a juicy sense of relief, but it’s her magic fingers that have Eddie rock hard, and the fact that she knows it… and still doesn’t seem to mind sharing the room? Shit… Honestly, Eddie’s not sure how sold he is on the idea… of being stuck in a room with her—the heavy metal queen of his dreams— which has only fed his fantasies—helped the side effects of her healing spell flourish into the rock-hard erection throbbing in his fist.

Eddie hasn’t stopped thinking about what might happen tonight when it’s time to share this bed, and… maybe she has a nightmare? Needs comforting? And then one thing leads to another where Eddie spreads his mouth over her pussy, eating her out like tonguing cream out of a twinkie. She’ll squirm against his lips and moan loud enough to reach across the motel, fists full of his hair, while she tells him how good he is…

‘H-how do you eat pussy so well, Eddie? Oh, my god!’

“… shit,” Eddie exhales, picturing it in that wispy detail only afforded by combined drugs.

He moans low under his breath and reaches down his other hand to double-fist his cock until he can just pretend the all-encompassing grip is her—her mouth or her wet, eager pussy. It usually takes two joints to make his own callused hand feels this good… but, fuck… there’s something heady about surviving the performance of a lifetime and getting undressed by the hottest chick alive, even if it was to save his sorry ass from bleeding to death.

With his tongue between his lips, still glaring at the bathroom door, Eddie beats off until his eyes roll back in his head and carefully, silently, starts thrusting his hips into the tube he’s made of his palms… chasing his peak like it’ll be his last nut as a free man.

Well, maybe not silently… it’s hard to bite down a breathy moan here and there, especially when he remembers how her fingers had lingered on his neck, tracing the welt there from one of those razor whip tails… or how she blushed when they both had to work at the second skin of his bloodied jeans, soaking him in six inches of bath water to loosen it all, and then… see her eyes widen coming face to face with the wild, dark curls matted with sweat and blood around his dick.

“… fuck me, baby,” Eddie whispers, barely above an audible octave, “Yeah… that’s it—that’s it. Fuck, you feel so good… so good to me, always.”

His eyes are squeezed shut now, fingers threaded together, palms mashed at the heel, hip slapping his cock between the narrow funnel faster.

She’s in his lap, panties hooked to the side, exposing sweet, slippery pussy lips as they hug and glide over his shaft, raw humping it into his stomach. Eddie’s handcuffed to the bed, dunno why; he’s watching helplessly as his cockhead pops beneath her clit over and over and over… he takes it with a toothy grimace, watching her bare tits bounce… perfectly suckable nipples all hard and stiff beneath the sweat shining over her skin…

‘That’s it, Eddie… feels good, doesn’t it? Fuck, after everything you did—that fucking guitar solo—you deserve this.’

“I… ah, deserve this…” He says aloud, feeling his balls pull taut, swollen with a thick load. Everything is getting tighter—the pressure building up.

The damp slap of skin pulses in his ears with the gentle drum of his heartbeat, giving himself over to the all-consuming need in the hopes that he can squeeze one out before his fair maiden returns. At this rate, he just needs a minute or two. Just a bit, and maybe forty-five more seconds.

“S-so close… fuck… fuck, baby. Just a little… more…”

Her fingers dance around the engorged cap of his cock, sweeping all that sweet-scented pussy juice around with her touch, oiling him up to lift, hover, and slide down on his thick shaft. He struggles against the cuffs, arching up, shivering against his bondage as her body swallows him whole. She’s about to crush her ass in his lap—about to bottom out on him, and then-

The bathroom door clicks, and Eddie bites the tip of his tongue hard enough to taste iron. The hinges squeak, releasing a font of motel-soap-scented steam as he scrambles to grab that pillow and stamp it down over his red-raw dick. It twitches meanly… so close… fuck, he was so fucking close.

She steps out in a damp threadbare towel that leaves little to Eddie's well-crafted imagination, and his dick bounces beneath the pillow, weeping precum in a warm sticky stain against his stomach. This is hell… the worst thing since the Upside Down, and yet Eddie’s heart is racing not because he’s about to die but because no one’s ever given him blue balls like she has… right now. Still, if a black hole could open up and swallow him whole, that’d be totally cool.

“You still doing okay there, Eddie?” The fair maiden asks, rubbing a tiny washcloth against the wet tangles on the back of her neck. She’s so soft and dewy looking after that shower, like some ripe stone fruit with the fuzz that’ll just drip sweet syrup down his chin if he takes a bite.

“Good. Good. Yeah. Why, uh… why wouldn’t I be good?”

She gives him an incredulous look and drops the washcloth to the bed, “Well, aside from being mauled by interdimensional bat monsters, you’re also a bit flushed… like you’ve got a…” her eyes widen a bit, “a fever…”

Before Eddie can lurch away in a panic—pillow still white-knuckled in his fingers—she pushes the back of her hand to his damp forehead. Her tits strain against the fragile-looking towel knotted at their center, only further pushing the water-soft globes into his hungry gaze. Really, Eddie berates himself weakly; there’s no time for this shit. Then again… there’s nothing else for them to do but wait and recover… might be the perfect time to just lay back and drool over her for once.

Eddie’s eyes dart up to her face when his dick twitches meanly under the pillow, straining for something it can’t have.

Relief washes over her pinched features to find him clammy under her touch, not burning up. “Sorry, I just… Steve didn’t show any signs of infection or anything either, but I wanted to make sure. I can work my magic fingers on the physical stuff, but… but I dunno about the other stuff, ya know.”

“Sure,” Eddie nods, stiff in more places than one.

She can tell he’s uncomfortable, not like she’s stupid or naive. Her eyes drop down to her towel, gaze drifting nervously to the television set where the static is heavy over some talk show host presenting a line of expensive washing machines to the contestants. The fair maiden's fingers go to the knot between her breasts and fiddles there for a moment.

And then she releases the cotton tuck, exposing every water-soft inch of naked skin like unwrapping the only present Eddie ever needs. Her eyes glimmer with promise, roaming over his battered chest to land on the offending pillow in his lap. She tugs it away, revealing his painful erection, only to cuddle up close… right between his legs… and part her lips to-

“This is pretty badly scripted, huh?”

Eddie blinks away his fantasy and glances at the fuzzy set with a swallow. “Late night TV? What’s to be clever about?”

“No,” she glances down at him with a tight smile, “I meant this. Like, you and me, late at night… world’s ending as we know it, and I’m in a towel, and you’ve got a…” the word boner hangs in the air, “unless you don’t have it anymore.”

His eyes must widen, or his pupils blow out, or maybe he blushes so hard it's numb on his cheeks cause she chuckles, tits jiggling soft beneath the towel now clutched in her hand. Eddie’s dick pounds with blood, trying to burn through the cheap cotton pillow to say hello, but he pushes down on the plush fucker and takes a deep breath, “No. I’ve… definitely still got it.”

“You think it’s a side effect of-”

“Pills,” Eddie blurts out randomly, “… yeah, maybe.”

“No, not the pain pills,” she shakes her head and sits down on the bed, legs folded underneath her. There’s an enchanted pathway leading up her smooth, thick thighs that goes straight to what Eddie knows is her bare pussy, but the shadows from the hem of the towel hide her from view… also, he shouldn’t be staring. Not the time to be a fucking perv…

The fair maiden wiggles her fingers between them, looking at the pruney tips with a raised brow, “I kinda noticed it first in the RV when you had that headache—the one from being stuffed under the console when Steve got pulled over.”

Eddie nods—dick starting to drool—remembering the splitting migraine that sent him into the back of the RV, all the lights off, clutching his skull with every rock of the clumsy vehicle.

“Well, I couldn’t help but notice you had an… erection after I got rid of it for you. It was dark and all, but you bumped against me when Steve took that turn, and-and I felt it.”

Where’s the hole Eddie prayed for earlier? He doesn’t want to be here with a raging hardon hiding under this pillow—a boner he was beating off with her on his mind five minutes ago.

“... and then in the bath, when I cleaning you up, trying to use the powers to knit together the worst stuff, I noticed you… well, get hard,” she pauses, glancing at the pillow in his fists with a frown, “and it looks like you’re still dealing with it. Unless… you took care of it while I was in the shower?”

Eddie shuts his eyes, feeling the humiliation reach a zenith before imploding into a mild form of acceptance. Granted, he’d rather be here, in bed with a hard dick, alive and well, than being feasted on by flying vermin in the Upside Down, but she’s got a way of talking about embarrassing things that could put a guidance counselor to shame.

Finally, letting up on the pillow, at least enough to get blood back into his fingers, Eddie shakes his head and wills himself to just relax—just fucking chill.

“Oh, I thought… sorry, I should have just taken my sweet ass time in there for you.”

A really sweet ass and perfectly soft, supple tits…

Not even the weed swimming in his head helps when the fair maiden scoots a little closer, dropping a hand on his bare shoulder, just above a patch of medical tape and gauze. “I can totally understand needing to release all this tension, even if it wasn’t my fault… we’ve all been through so much, it’s like… human nature to wanna-”

“You wanna release it too?” Eddie’s not sure where it comes from, but there’s no taking it back now. He peeks up at her through frizzy, unconditioned bangs. She's got an adorable dusting across her cheeks and nose, and that in and of itself is a fucking relief.

“... maybe,” she mutters, pulling her palm off his shoulder, nails dragging deliciously across his skin.

“Well, fuck,” Eddie curses, tapping a nervous melody into the pillow with his fingers, scratching calluses through the abrasive pillowcase, “how are you supposed to do it? Cause someone wise told me I wasn’t allowed to leave this bed until morning.”

“Umm,” her eyes skirt around the room, avoiding Eddie’s like they’ll turn her to stone, “... I was gonna wait until you were asleep and just be really quiet and slow about it.”

The visual of the fair maiden laying in bed next to him while he snored on his back, rubbing herself under the towel—beneath the sheets—maybe teasing her tits with desperate little pinches, biting her lip… trying so hard to not rock the mattress or make a sound. The thought makes Eddie groan, covering it up with a wince as he shifts up against the headboard a bit. Her hand shoots out, skimming his chest with light pressure, trying to keep him from moving too fast… even though Eddie feels fine… all boner-throbbing aside.

“Here’s an idea,” Eddie says carefully, looking up into her beautiful, lash-heavy eyes filled with some unnamed emotion he hopes runs in line with the beating of his heart, “we both close our eyes, settle down and just… release the tension. Doesn’t have to be a big thing, right?” He gives her his Munson grin, hoping it looks convincing despite how his pulse quickens, worried he just fucked shit up thanks to a fake sense of confidence from the vicodin and the joint… and about two hours' worth of stifled brain activity thanks to his blood-lodged cock.

In the silence, all Eddie can hear is the television static and his own heart in his ears.

After an eon of waiting, the fair maiden bites her lip and nods, “Okay… I mean, only if you’re okay with it.”

Holy shit, she said yes.

Eddie almost tosses the pillow across the room without thinking, half-shouting a frantic, “Yes!” then floundering when she smiles coyly, “I mean, yeah… totally okay with it. Eyes closed. Human nature, and nothing weird.”

“Right…” she agrees, still smiling, “just two friends, releasing tension next to each other… in bed… alone… totally fine.”

Fuck. What did he just fucking agree to??

<><><><>

A few minutes of settling in and getting comfortable lands you in bed beside Eddie, who still has that pillow on his lap. The bath towel rides high, allowing some chilly motel air beneath where it licks at the hot moisture cuddled between your inner thighs. Your heart is racing happily, excited and lusty as Eddie slides back down the headboard, thick, messy curls pillowing his head as he exhales dramatically.

“Ready?” Eddie asks beside you.

Your pussy throbs, suddenly one of the only things on your mind despite the distant sirens racing down the highway adjacent to the motel. Suddenly, you feel like you’re basking in an oasis in the middle of chaos. Nothing can hurt him anymore, at least not right now… not as long as you can keep him in bed until your magical touch has finished healing the wounds littering his body. And, you’re fine too… both safe and sound, too.

You lower your lashes, recall his shredded, punctured state in the bathtub, right before you caught sight of his cock rising with blood—before terror was replaced with an ache—and cup your stomach.

“Yeah,” you breathe, taking in some air, filling your lungs, then slowly… you close your eyes, “… ready.”

Eddie hums in the back of his throat. Everything is amplified with your eyes shut, especially the slinky shift of the pillow against his skin—against his cock—as he moves it aside. Only when your ears pick up the ragged sound of his breathing and the soft, near-silent palm slide around his dick do you dare draw the thin cotton towel over your hips. As you wiggle into a comfortable position, the bed springs whine. You open your thighs in inching increments, listening intently as Eddie’s hand works himself over a little faster…

“... are you… doing it… right now?” you ask, whispering, knowing he is but wanting to hear him confirm it.

“Mmhm,” Eddie sighs, releasing a throaty groan, “I couldn’t hah… wait any longer.”

Suddenly, the near-soundless drag of skin—rhythmic and dry—goes slick…

You bite your lip, listening, imaging the rough pads of his fingers swiping precum off his weeping slit, lathering it into his shaft, squeeze-tugging up and down, wringing blood into the swollen head that’s perfectly flared and rounded... if only you could look, just a single peek…

As you take it in—the hazy fantasy behind your eyelids, the subtle shift of the mattress, and the sounds (fuck… those airy, desperate sounds)—your fingers reach down and inward, pressing a single finger to the drenched folds just beneath your clit.

You whimper in your personal darkness as gentle heat roars to life in your tummy, doused in gasoline. Eddie responds with a loud, uninhibited groan, as if he’s listening just as intently as you.

Beside you, the bed dips. He’s moved closer, you think, as if he’s turned his head to the side, facing you while his pace quickened… while he jerks off in the same bed, only inches away. Hot breath fans against the side of your face to prove your assumption, seeping into your whole body as a warm shiver.

“W-what,” Eddie pants, more heat flooding down your dewy neck and shoulder, “... what about you? Are you touching yourself yet?”

You nod, worrying your lip, realizing after a few swipes up and down your drooling slit that he can’t see.

“… yes,” you exhale, feeling a pulsing thrill when he nearly growls.

It’s obscene how wet you are now, feeling the outpour of desire dripping to the bedsheets.

With a whimper lodged in your throat, you turn your head towards him, eyes squeezed shut and open one thigh until your calf slides off the edge of the bed, exposing the entirety of your soaked pussy to the chilly air.

Elbow shaking, heart racing, you twist your wrist and rub two fingers along your clit in firm, uneven strokes.

“Mnn... fuck,” you whine, a burst of pleasure blossoming thickly. You drop your chin to your shoulder as Eddie whimpers like he did in the tub, back when you had a washcloth scrubbing clean all those open wounds. You see him behind your eyes again, covered in brown-stained gauze, fisting his cherry-tipped cock while turned towards you, lips just as swollen from raking his teeth over every other groan—grunting hot and loud.

Suddenly, the bed springs whine beneath you, your body nearly rolling into the middle as Eddie bucks up. The mattress bounces, your elbow bumps some hot swath of Eddie’s naked skin, and your eyes just… snap open.

Dark, doe-like orbs stare back at you.

“Eh-eddie!” You gasp.

His eyes are wide open and glassy. His mouth is just as red as you imagined, tongue pressing to the back of his teeth as he breathes through a slack mouth… a little line of drool shining down his chin.

“You-you…” you gasp, sliding a single finger inside the slippery, snug heat between your thighs, “... you weren’t supposed to-“

“Neither were you,” he cuts you off, teeth denting his lower lip.

Your eyes waver in his, then dip downward, tracing the chords protruding around his adam’s apple, the tension in his shoulders and the undulating muscles of his chest and stomach and… and…

“Jesus fucking Christ, Eddie… that looks-”

“Y-yeah, been edging myself this whole time… I was literally about to ruin these sheets before you… shit,” he groans, lashes fluttering and hips jerking that hard, abused cock into his fist, “… shit. I…” he trails off, big browns sliding over your body, pupils blotting out the woody hue at the sight of your finger crooking inside your soaked hole, making an obscene slurping noise that has you both blushing.

“F-fuck-” he curses, swallowing a whine, “you’re fucking wet… aren’t you?”

His palm tightens around the base of his cock, making the whole thing surge with blood, beating veins bulging in little curls towards the bulbous head. A tiny bead of precum wells along the tip and then slides all gentle-like down the rim of his cockhead. It’s… the most erotic thing you’ve ever seen, and you’ve watched plenty of beaded-curtain tapes from the comfort of your living room… the nasty red-label stuff, though none of that has ever had you finger fucking yourself so furiously.

“Do… would you like to,” you pause, tugging your hand from between your thighs to place on the bed between you and Eddie, “… I mean… what I meant to say—to ask is…”

You trail off when Eddie gives his cock a slow, almost lazy stroke from base to tip, his hooded, heated orbs running over the loose knot between your breasts. He looks like he wants to rip the towel away and smother himself between them, and honestly… you’re far from opposed to the idea. But, you need to be sure because as sober as he looks, he’s taken pills and smoked a joint and-

“Can I kiss you?” Eddie asks, all smokey and quiet.

You nod shakily, holding your breath as Eddie lifts himself on an elbow, his wild mop of hair falling over his shoulders until his nose is an inch from yours, fist still strangling his dick. His hot breath rushes down your chin, tickling the tops of your breasts, and with a raw-lipped smile, Eddie leans in and gives you the most tender, softest kiss of your life.

… and almost immediately, you want more.

With a sharp inhale, you cup the back of his neck, fingers threading through fluffy curls, and draw him closer. You lean in, lips slanted, and give his lower lip a swipe of your tongue. Eddie groans, opening up, taking another hot lick against his teeth… and another over the slick tip of his own, then you’re on your back, smothered in naked body heat as Eddie smacks his lips wetly over yours. It’s messy—sloppy—and unforgettable. The motel room echoes with the gentle slide of bedsheets and the damp seal and click of your shared kiss. You break away once your head starts pounding with needed air, gasping and shuddering beneath a smoldering trail of wet kisses that Eddie lavishes down your chin and jaw… until he’s sucking at that sweet spot beneath your ear.

“You… oh, my god,” you hitch, eyes rolling back as his lips seal over your pulse, pulling blood to the surface with a throaty groan, “… you really shouldn’t be moving around s-so much.”

Eddie releases your neck with a pop, lips sliding down to the tops of your tits, “Oh, yeah? And what are you gonna do about it? Hmm?”

He kisses the swell of one breast, smirking, “Come on, baby… can’t seriously think I’m gonna miss this opportunity. Shit, not when you’re rubbing your pussy against me like this.”

W-what? When did you…

Your hips still against his planted thigh, a flush filling your cheeks. The immediate loss of that rhythmic rowing pleasure against your swollen clit leaves you trembling beneath him. When had you started doing that?

Eddie shakes his head, hair tickling beneath your chin as his breathing comes like summer against your cleavage, “No, no, no… don’t stop. Please, I got you.”

He presses his thigh against your soaked core, thrusting and grinding firmly to return all that lovely bliss ten-fold, “Shit… how’re you so fucking wet?”

“D-damnitt, Eddie,” you whine, nails scraping against his scalpl, hand gripping his shoulder and both thighs pinching his, “... you’re gonna open up your-ah!” The towel comes loose between you, exposing a tight nipple to the naked skin of his bicep beneath the plastic adhesive of medical tape. It sends a tremor down your belly, right into the slippery beaded nerve rubbing against Eddie’s thigh.

“T-too much… it’s too much. I’m gonna-“ you gasp, already on the precipice of that cliff face while the world burns.

“That’s it, baby,” Eddie susurrates, tongue spearing between your free bouncing breasts, “... that’s it. I got you, just like you got me. Y-yeah… fuck, cum for me.”

Sticky heat tightens in your tummy. Another moan shivers between your lips, and… clutching yourself to Hawkins’ infamous metal head, you arch and hump yourself into a dense orgasm right there… right against him… All that tension from the past twenty-four hours—no, longer than that… since you saw him on your front porch, needing a place to hide, looking like some water-logged puppy dog—all that prolonged tension just fucking melts.

<><><><>

When she cums, it’s hotter than any weed-assisted fantasy Eddie’s vivid imagination could conjure, and he’s never been lacking in visualization skills, nearly been a curse… until D&D and her and Jesus fucking Christ she’s still shaking against his thigh, dripping moisture into the divot where his knee dents the mattress. Those blotchy-blushed cheeks deepen as her tongue wets her lips, eyes barely open. She’s never looked so serene; all the worry in her face smoothed to nothing. He can’t help but growl, almost monstrous, as her nails dig into his skin, working herself through the last licks of her orgasm on top of his fucking thigh like she needs every drop of pleasure… and Eddie’s more than happy to give it to her.

Who would have thought he’d have such an effect on the fair maiden, enough to get her cumming just from a bit of skin-on-skin grinding?

“That feel better?” He asks, sliding his knee across the sheets, shoving the damp surface of his thigh hard against her cunt, nearly getting off on the muffled whine it gets him.

“Mmph’hm,” she bites her lower lip and nods, tears edging her lashes, “... b-but what about you?”

“What about it?” Eddie shrugs, nuzzling his nose up her chest against her throat, and presses his face into the crook where she’s bleeding heat and a salty layer of clean sweat against his lips. Yeah, his dick is throbbing, leaking like a busted pipe into the scratchy cotton towel still wrapped around her hips, but he doesn’t wanna push his luck, not when she’s so clearly fucked out and tender and-

“Dude,” she scoffs, all busted and breathy, “... this all started because you’ve had that thing burning a hole through your boxers for hours.”

Eddie chuckles and gives her neck a soft kiss before locking his elbows, hovering over the state of her. She’s all soft tits with stiff nipples, crumpled cotton, a cute tummy with wide hips, and… Eddie’s dick twitches at the sight of her pretty, little pussy all sticky and inflamed from cumming on him. Alright, so he might die of blood loss if he doesn’t drain the Maiden Slayer soon.

Without thinking, Eddie says the first thing on his mind, “Can I eat you out? I mean, I’ve only done it a couple times before, but I’m a fast learner when It counts… and I promise, a few thrusts against this shitty mattress, and I’ll cum without you having to worry about-”

“Eddie,” she says so sweetly it almost tears his heart out, “why don’t you lay back, relax and let me ride you.”

For a long moment, Eddie wonders if he heard her right. She just looks up at him, waiting, carefully detangling the knots in his hair one-handed as his eyebrows slowly rise up into the tension lines of his forehead. Say what now?

“Wait. Did you just-” Eddie gulps, feeling like he’s sixteen again at a show about to lose his virginity in the bathrooms. “You wanna ride me? Like, sit on my dick with your-”

“Stop thinking, Eddie,” she whispers, pressing against the middle of his chest, shifting to her side until he follows her, falling back on his shoulder and then rolling to his back. His heart’s beating a fucking tattoo in his chest, hammering hard as the fair maiden swings a leg over his hips. Holy fucking shit… holy shit…

“Holy fuck,” he wheezes, hands hovering around her until they start shaking, and he can’t help but grip the give of her ass—squeezing the soft swell of her hip where it creases into the top of her thigh. Fuck, how’s she so fucking perfect? Maybe he didn’t really make it… perhaps he’s dead…

“Umm, what about babies and shit?” Eddie says smoothly, nearly cumming the second she lays that burning hot slice of heaven over the underside of his cock, pinning it to his tight stomach with a wet churn.

“I don’t care… the world might end tomorrow.”

“Fuck, fuck… okay. Shit, you know I’m not gonna last long,” he sucks his teeth in a hiss as she thrusts over him, lathering his dick up in slick so molten it’s akin to the fissures dissecting Hawkins, “... like, three strokes and… I’m done for.”

The fair maiden smirks, shifts her hips and rises to her knees.

She hums Master of Puppets like it’s his own personal anthem, picking his soaked cock off his stomach and sliding his puffy, raw head through her folds. Eddie grunts, feeling the cuddle of her burning center start to suck him in. His fingers curl into her, tugging desperately—yanking her down until he’s letting out a long, pathetic moan as he’s encased in the hottest, tightest pussy he’s ever tasted. Fuck, taste… he can’t wait to go down on her… maybe tonight… when she’s done fucking his brains out. Just, Eddie wants to motorboat her cunt until he’s bathed in it, munching down with lips, tongue, and teeth… finger fucking her drunk.

“… fuuuck-fuck… that’s… that’s fucking tight. Fucking shit,” Eddie feels his legs start to shake, her pussy sinking down and down until those delicate folds are stretched taut around his cock, nestling in the matted curls at the base, “... fuck me. I’m-I’m gonna cum.”

He makes it precisely three seesaws of her hips in before shoving his head back into the pillow, throwing his chin up, and biting his teeth through a lighting strike of liquid hot pleasure. His balls tighten, hugging against his body, sending lava shots through him and into the fair fucking maiden gyrating on him. She doesn’t stop either, just places her palms on his tattered chest, leans in with tickling fingers, and fucks her creamy pussy in his lap, slurping up his cock while injecting that dizzying spell of hers into his soul. Suddenly, Eddie can breathe into every capillary of his lungs—can feel the scabby bite wounds knit together—can count his pulse in his cock as it recharges with rich blood.

Eddie’s moans come in sequence with her thrashing hips. Choking grunts and hisses shoot out of him as the bed springs squeak. He readjusts his grip around her waist, digs his calluses in hard, rings branding her skin and brings her down with every cant of her hips.

“Th-this okay, Eddie?”

The way she says his name… holy shit, better than his most perverted dreams.

“Fuck me, yes-yes. Keep going,” Eddie whimpers, half-begging as her tits blur over her ribs, bouncing so fast he can barely keep up.

“You want me to fuck you until you can’t get outta this bed…” she pauses to bite her lip and whine under the battering of his dick, “fuck… uh’until you can’t move… not unless I let you?”

“Yes-ye’hesss… harder,” he pants, “Fuck!”

He’s snorting out sounds now, fucking up into her as she slashes back and forth—his fists tight, slamming her down. And the fair maiden does just as he asks; she fucks him faster, harder, swallowing his dick up until he can feel the spongey patch nestled deep, just below her cervix.

She yelps, sobs and keeps going.

“Y-you’re killing me,” and to prove his point, her pussy does this wild dance around his cock, just… strangling it until he feels like a melted icecream cone, “... baby-f’f’fuck!”

“I’m,” the fair maiden pants with a bright, sweaty smile, “bringing you back to life,” she giggles, breathy, tits jiggling—hypnotizing—and rides him all the harder, “gonna fix everything.”

Eddie nods until his chin aches against his sternum, finding himself saying nonsensical shit like prayers and how he wants to give her his babies (wild, pussy-drunk talk), grabbing at her tits as the bed creaks. The headboard starts slamming the wall. Eddie watches, mesmerized as the fair maiden leans forward, holding the noisy panel of wood, using it as leverage to row her pussy… everything going impossibly wet and tight like she’s… oh fuck…

“Fuck, you gonna cum again?!” Please, please…

She’s nodding, tearing up, eyes watching him with her brows upturned.

“Say my name… a’hah!—w-when you cum. Sounds so fucking hot…”

Eddie squeezes her breasts, flicks his thumbs over her nipples, and shivers as her pussy contracts sharply. The first gasp of his name ignites a tight, tug of heat.

“Eddie… fuck, just like that, Eddie!” Frantic energy bursts in her movement, fucking herself on his cock until wood cracks—his eyes snap open, both sharing a worried look but never stopping, not even when the support panel, or whatevers under the mattress, breaks, snapping the shitty motel frame right down the fucking middle.

Shit!

“Eddie!”

Eddie grapples her waist, keeping her from rolling off while her palms white knuckle the headboard, and… just when he thinks the mood’s ruined and they’re gonna burst into awkward laughter, that hot, suckling heat around his cock turns into a fucking vice. He hisses, bangs plastered to his sweaty forehead and bucks up, yanking her down, fucking her through the convulsions of another orgasm until he’s unloading into the sweetest, hottest metal babe of his dreams for a second, mind-melting time.

Like… this one’s world ending; fireworks behind his eyes, Metallica riffing in his brain kinda orgasm that blots out the chaotic knocking on the motel door.

“Hmm?”

Eddie’s ears still ring when the fair maiden pulls herself off his dick, unplugging a dense load of creamy, hot cum to ooze down his slippery, red dick. He blinks, releasing her with a whine as she crawls over the bed. The way her ass jiggles makes his brows shoot up, just… taking in the view with his tongue between his lips and his dick twitching happily.

“Uh, not that I’m complaining, but,” Eddie stretches out, feeling all those leftover bruises and scrapes from the demo bats pull against his skin, “... where’re you going?”

“The door, dude!”

Suddenly, Eddie hears the knocking and the sound of Harrington shouting through the thin wood, ‘Come on guys, it's a madhouse out here, and I haven’t eaten since yesterday. Let’s go!’

‘Hellooo?’ comes Henderson’s egotistical singsong, ‘Eddie… you both awake in there?’

“Henderson…” Eddie groans, then bolts upright as the fair maiden reaches the door in herbirthday suite and nothing else. Eddie shouts, stumbling up in the broken bed and waves his hands dramatically as she starts on the locks, “Towel! Holy shit, baby! Fucking towel.”

“Huh?!” She turns around, stark naked, wearing a few hickeys, finger marks on her waist and hips, and a long shiny line of cum between her inner thighs. For a second, she blinks in confusion, then drops her eyes down her body with a blush.

“Woah… I nearly open the-“ she points a thumb at the rattling door where Harrington is banging in frustration, “-and he would have… and Dustin… eww…“

Eddie bites his tongue.

‘I swear if you two are cooked out of your minds I’m gonna be… so… just… open the door!’

They both share a ‘holy shit’ kinda look and burst out laughing. Behind the door, Harrington grumbles.

‘It’s not funny, guys!’ then lower, muffled, he adds, ‘Dustin, tell them it’s not funny, man.’

‘I dunno, it sounds pretty funny. Kinda sounds like they’re having a great time, and I’m stuck with you, Mom of the Year, over here.’

The fair maiden sputters, trying to cover her laugh, only for Eddie to rise up on his knees, his bare, semi-hard, and thoroughly fucked dick on display while putting his hands on his hips in a very Harrington-like impersonation. It gets her laughing out loud again—gets Harrington knocking on the door and gets Eddie a bag of fast food thrown in his face. He falls back on the bed with a wide grin, the mattress sagging sadly beneath him. Everything feels fantastic; even the sweaty, musty sheets are like rich cotton as he rolls himself up in them while watching his fair maiden pull that stained towel around herself, looking flushed and fucked and happy as hell.

Course, Harrington doesn’t seem too amused when she finally opens the door, and the smell of sex hits the man square in the face.

“Seriously? Two hours… you guys couldn’t act like adults for two hours?!”

“Define adult, Harrington,” Eddie pokes his tongue out while the fair maiden pinches her lips to hold in whatever’s on her tongue.

Henderson curls his nose up, tossing a duffel bag into the room with a frown, “What’s that weird smell.”

Harrington points at the both of them, “Don’t answer that.” His eyes roam over the state of the room, hands on his hips like a true soccer mom and balks at the leaning mattress and rumbles sheets, “Wait… what the hell happened to the bed?!”

You can find me on AO3 and you can read my huge Eddie Munson/Reader fic Fortune Teller too. If ya want. <3

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mbrainspaz · 9 months

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anyway, I'm just being sad tonight because my gran called and told me again that my old best friend apparently called my mom (who won't talk to me since I came out)(but my friend apparently still talks to her all the time) and they had a nice long chat about my old friend's hetero relationship issues which included something about a 40-something year old man that she's been dating who's been giving her grief. Wow, sure wish I'd heard about that from her. But she hasn't bothered to call me in months. I guess my mom wanted a daughter and my old friend needed a mom. Good for them. Not like I needed my best friend after losing everything. Not like I loved her more than I've ever loved anyone. Not in a romantic way but like in a way where she just... I love her. I love her face. I love her mind. I love the fake voice she does when she's trying to impress corporate bigwigs. I love the eggs and steak she always made and covered in hot sauce. I love how snobby she was about coffee. I love the way her apartment smelled. I love the way she dances to a beat only she can hear. I loved that night we tried to watch a Hitchcock movie but passed out on the living room floor with a bottle of Rosé. I love listening to her complain about the tinder guy of the week. I love all her stories about her wild adventures. I love how she teases me about not being so adventurous. I love listening to her dreams. I love how weirdly passionate she got about roadkill statistics. I love that stupid coyote pelt she named and always kept as decor. I love how we'd speak in german even though her Austrian accent drove me insane. I love how excited she gets about her latest craft or carpentry project. I love how much she loves series like Dune even though I don't. I loved how much she used to care about me. I miss the days when she used to come visit me and we'd talk for hours.

She untagged herself in an old pic I posted on facebook recently. It was a stupid nothing. I just wanted to reminisce about a game we played one christmas. She used to tell me not to post so much of myself online. That I should just message her instead. But that part of me that's known since I was 10 years old that all relationships are fleeting, temporary things, the part that laughed every time a friend said 'best friends forever,' that part will always be there.

A new guy I met on bumble invited me to a DnD game at his friends' house and I can't go because I have to work until 8pm that night.

#sad post #don't mind me #tck problems #personal problems #friends #ace aro

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pxrxcxa · 2 years

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Hello I am here for one(1) mashup and I'm sure you know who I'd love to be matched with looool 😏😏

1. Tricia(Trish for short)

2. They/them, pansexual

3. 31

4. I'm 5'9", blonde(mostly bleached but four inch dirty blonde roots), I have abooout 20 tattoos(one on my left calf, one on each thigh, right upper arm piece, left forearm covered, back piece, etc.), Curvy but fit. Legs for days.

5. I'm an idiot sandwich, I'm a protective mom friend, I'm a teasing asshole. I love little nicknames

6. Taurus sun, Sagittarius moon, Cancer rising. 😉

7. I play guitar, I read tarot cards, I play DND and video games, I work out, I roller skate on old school style quad skates, I love to cook and to eat.

8. I like kind people, laughing, clothes, I love animals but especially dogs. I don't like bigots or mansplainers looool

9. My love language to others is gift giving and feeding them. What I like receiving is words of affirmation, touch, praise and pride.

I love you! Congratulations on 2k!

Trish!!! @lem0nb0iii Thankyou for your patience my love, I hope you enjoy what I have created for you! 🖤😏

I think your match would be.....

Eddie Munson (of course 😏)

Eddie was in absolute awe when he first saw you at the hideout, curled up on a bar stool with your long legs stretched out in front of you, giving him the perfect view, your wild hair flowing around you. (He’d never known he’d had a thing for blondes until right then.)

He’d sworn he’d died and gone to heaven when he watched you cross that stage to play your guitar (even better than he could, though he’d never admit it to you.)

He’d rushed to buy you a drink as soon as you were back at the bar before anyone else could. But you knew far too much about Eddie the freak Munson, having snapped at anyone that muttered that word in ear shot of you (of course you did, your protective mode slipped out.)

But when Eddie had finally built up the courage to approach you, you’d teased him about it “Eds, (your habit of nick naming people was effortless) “Come back when you’ve graduated high school kid.” You’d shot him a teasing smile to ease the burn, the small age difference might have bothered you a little, but God did Eddie find it hot.

That of course, was the only motivation Eddie needed to finally pass senior year. He’d been relentless every time he’d run into you at the Hideout, and when you’d slipped up with a DnD reference mid teasing him, Eddie’s eyes had lighted up and there was no going back.

Your song of course Bathroom Bitch - HolyChild

Was practically written for you as he used his tongue to explore the tattoos on those long legs of yours in the small bathroom in the bar. You couldn’t refuse those pretty big brown eyes of his when he’d begged you to teach him everything an experienced women like you could teach a younger man 😉.

Your domesticated life consists of always somehow able to make the best meal out of Eddie’s bare fridge (he likes to watch your curves as you stir 😏), teaching Eddie how to roller skate (he looks like a spider on a hotplate) and after taking out the neighbour’s mailbox, he decides to leave it up to you. He does shamelessly and loudly cheer you on from the sidelines though.

Eddie is obsesssssed with your tattoos and pays them special attention during sexy time. Especially the ones on your thighs. (If you know, you know 😏)

Eddie wasn’t like other assholes you’d dealt with, he didn’t mansplain things to you like you were stupid, he’d listen to you patiently when you’d lose yourself passionately explaining how tarot worked (and smacking his hand away when he tried to touch your cards) he was kind and would laugh at you when you’d try to adopt every stray dog at the trailer park, smiling at you while you talked to them like they could understand you.

The only time he got mad was when you’d steal his vest, to the point that he interrupted a long night of planning his next DnD campaign together (when he watched you slyly try and stuff it into your bag – you couldn’t help yourself. You loved cool individual pieces, especially ones that smelled like him), to teach you how to make your own.

Hellfire didn’t dare say anything when they saw the both of you wearing your very similar vests, (although you were their protector – Mother Hen, as Dustin calls you – they were also playfully scared of you) – Kinda 😅. It’s your Taurus stubborn and protective nature coming out.

Eddie was really the only one who you’d allow to see that sensitive cancer rising of yours, breaking down your walls with one cheeky smirk at a time, so much so that you let him start practicing stick and pokes on you.

“Ow Eddie that hurts.” You gripped the pillows beside you as he dug into the top of your leg, pinning you to the couch with his weight.

“Stay still then Trish.” As he gripped your thigh tighter. It was the first time he’d called you by your nick name, his tongue sitting between his plump lips as he narrowed his brows in concertation. His eyes did flick up to meet yours though as you went silent, softening slightly as he watched your face blush.

You had a soft spot for nicknames, constantly finding one for everyone else because you loved yours so much.

His mistook your pleasure for pain, massaging the inside of your thighs while he muttered praises as he softened his hand holding the needle.

“You’re doing really well.” He smiled up at you through his lashes, sending a wave of warmth over you at the compliment.

“I’m so proud of you.” You’d nearly fell to pieces at that, your legs shaking as you clamped them shut, trying to push the growing need away that built with each light brush of his warm hands and comforting words in his gravelly voice. You were grateful it was almost over as he wiped the excess ink away

“You look great.” He smiled widely as you limped over to the cracked full-length mirror, turning your leg each way to get a good look at your new piece, an imitation of your favourite tarot card, with a DnD inspired vibe.

You caught Eddie’s smile slip in the reflection, almost unknowingly as something calm settled in his face.

“I am so glad I met you, I think you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

And you did melt at that, falling into his welcoming arms as he laughed, saying that if he knew how loving you got at his sweet words than he would make sure to tell you every day.

#stranger thing matchup #matchup #2k celebration

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grozen · 2 years

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The dracthyr literally have deviantart customisaion and I'm living for that shit

At the same time I feel like with every expansion wow becomes more and more dettached from reality; where everything up to WC3 was dark and grounded, vanilla was whimsical and DnD-like, BC and WoTLK were pretty dark aswell, but steadily increasing the level of absurdity, everything since has been becoming more and more anime. And I'm saying this as a person whose favourite expansion was Legion. I don't know how blizz could convince me that a wild forest boar or a bunch of horny night elves that turn into snakes are a threat to me like it could've been in vanilla, after I tanked the titan of death in mythic, but I miss more down to earth, normal stories.

Frankly, I wish wow would've ended after Legion, and N'Zoth would've been killed by Sarge's sword and there was no need for BfA. And then bye bye warcraft. It'd have been a legendary send-off, because the wow universe in it's current state exists exclusively thanks to Sargeras'es shenanigans. And we defeated him; he wasn't just a villain, he was THE villain. Anti-Christ and Satan of the WoW universe. Alas, the cash cow must live on.

Dragonflight so far looks far tamer than SL, which thank god; as much as I'm enjoying questing there post-factum (I've not played during SL), it takes suspension of disbelief way too far, and it's fun yeah, however it plays more like a fanfic than an actual story. The Jailer is silly. He could've been cooler were he actually in the story from the beginning like my hot space demon wife Sargeras was, but my man was literally pulled out of Bobby Kotik's ass. Blizzard I beg you

Anyway, I don't plan to buy DF any time soon anyway, now that I've Returned ™️ to this horrible crack cocaine of a game, I think I'm gonna play and replay as many old storylines as I possibly can before withering away, and only then consider buying DF. After four years I finally got Legion loremaster... :,) Bruh I miss that stupid expansion it was the best

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exilethegame · 3 years

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Important question since u played baldurs gate 3 do u think its worth it? I've seen the game and it looks cool and (hot man & womannn i wanna romance them alll) i wanna buy it but i need a little push. So help me oh the great one.

(say yes its worth it i wanna see them good looking man and woman 🥴🤤)

Lmaooo-- if you have the money to spend I'd say go for it! You're also paying for the full-game so, should you decide that EA just isn't for you but you like the idea and are excited for the full-game, it's already paid for.

Lil mini-review that's mostly just me ranting:

The EA has been refined a lot through since when it first came out. There's always some stuff that needs some tweaking but overall I think it's pretty solid for being as early access as it is. The characters are dimensional and multi-faceted and I am super excited to see where the game goes with their backstories and MC's involvement in it. Also, the amount of roleplaying that is available to you...if you wanna be an evil bastard, you can be an evil bastard. If you wanna be a stupid bastard, you can be a stupid bastard. If you wanna be a tooth-achingly sweet bastard, you can be that, too.

Also, romance-wise...Gale, Shadowheart, and Astarion's romances are all very fleshed out for EA only being set in Act 1 of the game. I don't know if this is still true or not but I know Wyll's romance scenes a few months ago weren't triggering...and I know that it's also a bit tricky/difficult to trigger Gale's romance. But there's also guides online to get around those... 👀

The combat is also pretty fun once you start messing with higher-level encounters since you're definitely rewarded for thinking cleverly/outside the box (in true DnD fashion). Character creation is pretty limited at the moment but there's also plenty of stuff on Nexus if that's important to you.

PS: If the role-playing stuff is important to you, I'd long rest pretty frequently to try and keep certain scenes from overlapping-- some scenes will be skipped over for more important scenes to take place, which sucks when you're trying to raise affinity or just get backstory on certain characters.

#I've been looking a bit into the Waylanders EA and I genuinely don't know what to make of it??#if anyone has any opinions on it...👀#atm I am playing the Pillars of Eternity games and Pathfinder: Kingmaker #pheo talks

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gar-trek · 3 years

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hello tumblr user gar-trek, welcome to my confessional booth. i’m sorry.

today i am making dnd sheets for the characters i think the tos crew would play. Uhura dms, i think it’s gonna be pirate themed. Jim plays a tiefling (was gonna go half elf but gays love hot demons) paladin who has a strict moral code and careful controls and is from a noble background and.....just like is spock. he and spock are the only people who don’t realize but he plays spock.

spock pretends like he’s just humoring them and then gets incredibly stupid into it. he LOVES it he loves the creativity and memorizing the magic system and writing little spells in his spell book. he’s a high elf wizard, though i considered making him a warlock because i think spock playing a high charisma character is like..... very cute...

bones plays a gnome. i think he’d look at the gnome art and be like. lol ok. he chooses cleric. jim boos. that’s so boring bones, they say. you’re already a doctor, bones, they say. im a healer, jim says. yeah right, like he’s gonna let fuckin kirk play healer to anyone. he’s surprisingly committed to his character voice, much to jim’s delight.

sulu plays a human fighter, he mostly just wants to be able to talk about all the melee logistics that should be useless on a starship. he forgets it’s supposed to be a character.

they let scotty play one single time. he chooses a halfling artificer and then fucks shit so supremely that they ban him. chekov occasionally makes cameos as various damsels in distress

chapel is a half orc barbarian. she needs to get the stress out somehow.

Hey tumblr user sincave,

I hate to admit i read dnd and was skeptical for a moment, however, oh man. this is like, so fucking accurate. why are the tos crew TOTALLY the type of people to play dnd? they would take it like dead serious, fr i feel like its perfect for them... and your right SPOCK WOULD BE SO INTO IT!!!!!!! Spock is definitely the type of bitch to like dragons, I just know he has a cool dragon sculpture in his cabin (and they for sure play in spocks room, the ambiance is perfect as fuck in there)

very nice take my friend, i especially like bone being a doctor in game too because he so loves his job, lol. confessional booth is always open, my friends

(^ me, reading and responding to this)

#star trek #good takes #hc #accurate #for all my dnd friends #ive never played and know little about it

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thewebcomicsreview · 4 years

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Seeing as I don’t have a job right now (one week furlough), I managed to get a lot of writing for Saffron and Sage done today. Now I feel good! Time to ruin that with a Homestuck 2 Liveblog! Last time: Jade kidnapped “Yiffy”, much to Jane’s distress! No time for that, though, as we’re back with the Candyland Kids.

HARRY: vrissy, i know this is a stressful predicament but i think that's going too far. HARRY: my dad believes in us. HARRY: and if he thinks there's something we can do, then there has to be a way!

Kind of interesting that Harry holds his dad’s opinion in such high esteem, considering that his dad has been AWOL pretty much his whole life.

TAVROS: Uncle john isn't to blame for this,,, HARRY: yeah, no shit tav. HARRY: this whole situation is because of YOUR insane hitlermom.

How the hell does Harry Anderson know who Hitler is? When did that conversation come up? This is a completely different universe!

TAVROS: Is less sincere,,, than it is,,, an attempt to weaponize something difficult for me, TAVROS: In order that you can win an argument,,, with harry anderson,,,,, VRISKA: GRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! VRISKA: WILL YOU ALL JUST VRISKA: SHUT!!!!!!!! VRISKA: UP!!!!!!!!

A good example of why characters like John, Jade, Vriska, and sometimes Karkat are important in Homestuck or in stories generally. They actually do shit.

VRISKA: Neither you nor your friends have anything really important going on. VRISKA: Your lives and your planet are a total 8ore! VRISKA: 8ut somehow John loves you anyway. VRISKA: Try and be fucking gr8ful for that every once in a while. VRISKA: Not everyone is so lucky.

Vriska please do not be pining for middle-aged John Egbert. You have literally half a dozen semi-official love interests (John, Terezi, Eridan, Tavros, Meenah and Kanaya), please don’t pick the one old enough to be your dad. It was already weird enough when Adult John got hot and bothered by teen Roxy in the epilogues, to say nothing of you fucking a middle-aged homeless clown in a bush.

thespiansGlamor [TG] began pestering adamantGriftress [AG]

Oh, fuck you, Homestuck. It’s bad enough that Harry and Dave are both going to be referred to as “TG” in chatlogs, but now Vrissy and Vriska are both AG and have the same font color!

TG: i've allocated the strife specibus with the scissorkind abstratus? TG: hm. TG: using this weird vocab and stuff feels... well, weird. TG: i'm not sure why, but it seems as though everything that's about to happen is that much more important now. TG: or maybe it already was, but i just didn't understand just how important until this moment.

One issue with wearing your metaphor on your sleeve as much as Homestuck 2 does is that thematically important lines become really obvious.

I like how the triangle-shaped panel around Vriska escaping the crowd by simply walking into it is reminiscent of a magic 8-ball. That’s clever!

VRISKA: Your society... no, your whole planet... it deserves to 8urn str8 to MEGAhell, and I'm gonna 8e the one to fly it there! VRISKA: I'm gonna shatter your paradise into pieces with my 8are hands and SHIT IN ITS GRAVE!!!!!!!! VRISKA: HOW'S THAT FOR A FUCKING ST8MENT! VRISKA: YOU GOT ALL THAT, JANE CROCKER? VRISKA: DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT'S COMING FOR YOU???????? VRISKA: YOU'VE MESSED WITH VRISKA: ********VRISKA******** VRISKA: ****FUUUUUUUUCKING**** VRISKA: ********SERK8T********

There’s some extreme Dungeons and Dragons energy here, where Vriska’s plan to escape a mob of reporters working for a totalitarian dictatorship run by literal gods is to simply walk outside and publicly declare her intent to destroy the world as punishment for its sins.

And yeah, this is how that plan usually works in DnD, too.

Man, the next page is a wall of text, whereas in old Homestuck this’d be an animation. I get “fair wages” and “small budget”, but is still feels weird to see a big Strife scene merely get described with boring-ass words.

Fearing gunfire, the few paparazzi who aren't currently getting their asses handed to them by the world's angriest traffic cone start to trip over each other, diving for cover.

The world’s angriest traffic cone.

Far away, in her lair, Jane Crocker grabs the two sides of her computer monitor with enough strength to snap it in two. She can't believe what she's watching. Behind her, from a shadowy corner of the room, there is an agitated growling noise and the rattle of chains.

Is that Yiffy? Is Yiffy an animal? Please tell me Yiffy is not a person that Jade named Yiffy.

....Actually, please tell me that Yiffy isn’t an animal Jade named Yiffy that is Jade’s child via sex with another animal that might be my breaking point.

Vriska alights on the ground, rakes her throat, quietly spits out a little wad of blue, and wipes her mouth unceremoniously. Tavros pats Harry Anderson tentatively on the arm. Vrissy tries to be badass and cough up something too but she doesn't really make it work.

Vrissy::Vriska Vriska::Mindfang

It’s weird that John’s sprite is the same even though he’s middle aged now, but I like that his God Tier outfit doesn’t fit any more. Isn’t it magical? Ahh, who cares.

JOHN: this old thing is pretty uncomfortable in a lot of ways. JOHN: hm... JOHN: when we get a moment, maybe the two of us could brainstorm a redesign? JOHN: no pressure though. HARRY: !!!

Oh, that’s why! That’s cute.

JADE: theres something i need to tell you

don’thavefuckedadogdon’thavefuckedadogdon’thavefuckedadog

JADE: john... i have a daughter JADE: shes almost harry andersons age JOHN: ... JOHN: ... JOHN: you have a daughter.

Named Yiffy?

ROSE: It was at this point that Jade came to me. ROSE: I could understand her pain quite acutely, and so... ROSE: I agreed to carry a child on her behalf. KANAYA: . ROSE: ... Without telling Kanaya.

Without-

Kanaya is your WIFE. You LIVE WITH HER. Even ignoring the question of why you’d keep 9 months of pregnancy from your wife, how? Kanaya would have been living with humans for years at that point and she’s literally in charge of reproduction don’t tell me she thought Rose just got fat for a while and then lost the weight really fast.

ROSE: I'm... not sure why I made that decision. ROSE: I regret not telling Kanaya, of course. ROSE: But I can't say that I regret going through with it. ROSE: At the time, it didn't feel as though the deception was even all that prolonged. The whole affair was... short. ROSE: Purely physical, and nothing more.

ROSE: John, there isn't a father. ROSE: Jade and I are the sole parents of this child. JOHN: oh. JOHN: ... JOHN: OH. JOHN: oh i'm so sorry, i didn't th- ROSE: That's quite alright John, although you might like to direct that apology more towards your sister. ROSE: All I will say is that if you would like to take up the particulars with us, ROSE: Some *other* time,

Actually, if John doesn’t know that Jade has a male dog’s genitals due to a fusion accident, I’d love to know what that all-caps OH means. What does he think happened, that Jade and Rose managed to have a baby?

JOHN: so... how did you hide the pregnancy? ROSE: Oh, that was simple. ROSE: Jade's genes being, as they are, part canine, the gestation period was substantially reduced.

OH NO

Yiffy is literally a furry, isn’t she? Moreso that Jade, she’s a full-on “Can be naked onscreen and it’s okay because she’s covered in fur” dog girl.

JOHN: i think i understand everything so f VRISSY: WAIT!!!!!!!! VRISSY: YOU MEAN TO TELL ME VRISSY: NOT ONLY DO I H8VE A SISTER VRISSY: 8UT YOU NAMED VRISSY: YOUR ****SECRET CHILD**** VRISSY: ********YIFFY********????????

Vrissy makes an excellent point.

ROSE: We didn't call her Yiffy. ROSE: That would be a quite ridiculous thing with which to burden a child. ROSE: Her full name is Yiffany Longstocking Lalonde Harley.

Vrissy looks as though she is about to shit the belltower they are standing in, brick by brick.

ROSE: It was, in hindsight, a monumentally terrible decision acting as the final chapter in a long series of novels, each one full of progressively more terrible decisions than the last. ROSE: But that is the name that we decided upon.

Oh, wait a second. Vriska changed Vriska Maryam-Lalonde to Vrissy, and changed Harry Anderson to just Harry. So obviously she’s going to rename Yiffy to literally anything else, then rename Tavros, and then we’ve got a new set of four kids as Vriska leaves to do something else. That’s what going to happen, right? Right? Please?

ROSE: You have to understand... this whole situation ended up playing out a bit like an ironic game of chicken between the two of us. ROSE: Something that far outstripped anything that the Strider fraternity could have produced in their wildest, most jpegged creative wet dreams. ROSE: But in the end that triumph of irony came back to bite us in the fucking ass, as irony is wont to do. ROSE: There was absolutely no possibility of us casually letting you all know that, by the way, we had had a secret daughter named Yiffany Longstocking. ROSE: At least, not right away. ROSE: But carapacian change-of-name paperwork is so complex and circuitous that, eventually, keeping quiet forever just seemed like the more reasonable option.

This is, even for Homestuck, monumentally stupid. You named your daughter Yiffany Longstocking as a joke and then kept the child secret because you were embarrassed. You two are awful fucking parents. You are the worst parents in the entire series, and that includes Bro Strider and the spider that made Vriska feed it children.

And we’re literally at the point where the writing is bad and the joke is how bad the writing is. This isn’t enjoyable to read; you can’t make a bad B-movie My Immortal fanfic on purpose.

Even now, Yiffy is likely being held at spoonpoint

I feel like “Jade and Rose have a secret daughter named Yiffany Longstocking” can be a joke or it can be drama but maybe not both at the same time.

#Homestuck 2 #Homestuck #Homestuck 2 Liveblog

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uglyshirtsinc · 3 years

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Things my d&d party has done that I, the DM, still cannot get over;

Bard and rogue a screaming contest in a tavern because the rogue wouldn't move her long legs to let the cute elf npcs sit

The rogue bought the female elf npc a glass of pineapple juice, the bards player informed me the reason she bought it was because it makes you taste better. I was horrified.

"I pull out a small round container of Vaseline and stare into Genevieve's (elf npc) eyes as I generously spread it on my lips." "Do they even have vaseline in medieval times?" "I have no fucking clue, medieval vaseline then."

When the elves ended up murdering hundreds the mother fucking rogue was still lile "GENEVIEVE DO YOUR SHOES NEED SHINING??? GENEVIEVE PLEASE, PLEASE MY LOVE-"

.... Rogue played cat and mouse with a metallic dragon.

Rogue had private time in a not so private place. Fuck stealth rolls.

Wizard fell out of the wagon and smashes his face onto the floor.

They murdered an npc on the side of the road and flex taped her to the bottom of their wagon. They plan on using her body for a demon later on.

Our stupid as fuck bard rolled a nat 20 to figure out where they were, rogue rolled a nat 1. The rogue just spat a tooth at an npc while the dumb bard gave their exact coords and then passed out face first into the floor. Hardest I've laughed during a game.

Rogue tried to get down and dirty with a cowboy named Jesse, learned Jesse was ase and nearly fell out of her chair.

Honestly I have no clue how to explain this other than a much smaller and hornier version of Merlin from Disney Sword in the Stone climbed ontop of a counter in an inn in his night clothes, ripped them off to reveal heart print undies, and then our bard tried to jump up to impress the inn keeper boy he liked and rolled a 3 on dexterity while a fucking nat 20 on charisma. He ate shit falling off the counter but the dude he liked found it adorably endearing.

Our wizard grabbed the old man by the ankles and yeeted him out of the inn for watching our bard as she slept. He's a good boyo.

They had a custody war over a butterfly dragon polymorphed into a cat, his name is George.

Bard got shitfaced and tried to cozy up to a dragonborn dude, I'm paraphrasing but I distinctly remember her saying "I change into my night clothes, its a thin white t-shirt. I have no bra."

"Where's her armor?! She's nearly nude!" "LEATHER ARMOR NIPPLE PASTIES?"

BARD WALKED OUT OF THE NPC THEY HAD THE HOTS FORS ROOM IN NOTHING BUT HIS BOXERS WITH MESSY HAIR AND HICKIES, I WAS JUST AS STUNNED AS OUR OTHER PARTY MEMBERS. TRUST ME.

Butterfly dragon coughing up a hairball on rogues lap, lots of screaming.

Sydney: did sammi (bard) actually sleep tho 👀

Me, knowing exactly what she means: you are in public

"Ain't my fault he fucked the inn boy!" -me

"Oh my god are you Irish" -rogue

"DAMMIT YOU'RE CAUSING A SCENE" -bard

"Falor has permission to look at my ass" -rogue

"She cray cray" -rogue about drunk bard

Inn boy npc having to chase shitfaced bard and dragging her while shes half naked

"Can we lock her in there?" "*re-enters room*" "dammit."

"I pull out multiple dead rats from my bag-" "you WHAT"

The time the butterfly dragon asked the bard why he smelled like the inn boy and everyone lost their shit

Rogue as she strips: I'm gonna changeeeeeee clothes

Bard realizing he's in just boxers: oh, clothes

THE FUCKING PET CUSTODY BATTLE

"MY CAT!! I ADOPTED HIM AND NAMED HIM!" "WE ADOPTED HIM AND WE NAMED HIM!" "guys just fuckin roll perception I'm gonna loose my mind-"

I still cant fucking get over the party cheering at sammi getting some holy fucking shit

Me and the rogue player ship the bards old crush with his boyfriend and she hates it

@oh-its-syb @jaidenstation id tag Sam but shes lame and wont gimme her tumblr but thank u whores for playing dnd with me and making me laugh my ass off, even if you gave me horrid migraines our first 3 games

#long post

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alice-in-gingerland · 4 years

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Axel/Roxas - Beauty and the Beast

So, I’ve been out of the writing game for roughly ten years, since university killed my spirit. But lately I’ve had this idea playing around in my head and wanted to see if I could still write. So I am slowly writing my Akuroku retelling of Beauty and the Beast. Posting the first chapter draft of chapter one here and hope people can give some feedback and maybe some ideas. Let’s see what happens!

________________________________________________________________

Namine sighed heavily, torn between slamming her face into her palms or shouting at the ragtag team in front of her.

‘You literally could have just taken a horse each!’

Sora raised his eyebrows in confusion, a cookie still raised partially to his lips.

‘But we only had one rope between the three of us.’

‘Plus, dwarves are too short to ride a full sized horse alone,’ added Riku, gesturing to a nodding Kairi.

‘You didn’t even need a rope once Kairi’s character subdued them,’ Namine exclaimed.

Kairi giggled at her sister’s obvious exasperation but chose not to let it go just yet, ‘but you can’t control a horse like that, it’s not realistic.’

The whole group were beginning to laugh at the absurdness of the situation, even Riku was trembling slightly, trying to hold back his amusement at the normally calm dungeon master who was turning vaguely pink with frustration.

‘Why do you guys always have to make big events out of tiny situations, we’ll never get to the main parts of the quest if you keep doing this.’ She slammed the book in front of her closed with an air of finality, causing Sora to pout.

‘Ah Nams, you never let us mess around, that’s half the fun of DnD!’

Riku tilted back in his chair to check the clock on the kitchen wall, ‘to be fair, it’s getting pretty late. We should probably finish up and head home.’

‘Let's make camp for the night, I’ll tie up the horses. We’re only a few kilometres from the town so will be good to rest up in case there’s a fight,’ said Sora, his eyes darting over the colourful map that covered the majority of the dining room table they sat at.

Namine rubbed her forehead tiredly before beginning to carefully pack away her books and pens.

Sora was decidedly less careful, using his forearm to sweep his dice, notebook and other odds and ends into a waiting cardboard box, causing Riku to wince.

‘Before we head home, what’s the plan for Halloween this weekend,’ Kairi queried. She stretched out her back to loosen her muscles after a few hours being confined to the table, her russet hair almost tickling the small of her back. Namine tapped one of her colouring pens against her dusky pink lips, debating how she would like to spend one of her favourite holidays of the year.

Riku snorted, still leaning back dangerously in his chair and obviously in no hurry to assist with the clean up. ‘Aren’t we getting a bit too old to be trick or treating?’

Sora stuck his tongue out at the older boy, following up with a nudge to his chair. Riku’s azure eyes widened in panic as he struggled to stop from toppling backwards; he managed to right himself and gave Sora a victorious smirk.

‘Just because you turn fifteen soon doesn’t mean the rest of us have to stop enjoying ourselves,’ retorted Kairi, swiftly linking her arm through Sora’s.

The young brunette posed thoughtfully as he lent into his best friends supporting frame.

‘He does have a point though, maybe we could do something a bit more, I dunno, exciting this year?’

Namine’s brow dipped in concern, knowing from experience what Sora meant by exciting. Kairi nudged Sora with her hip.

‘By exciting, I think you mean dangerous…’

The boy glanced to his right, a mock hurt expression crossing his face, ‘ well it doesn’t have to be anything bad, just maybe something scary. You know, to frighten Mr All Grown Up.’

Namine clapped her hands together in excitement, startling the three other teens who turned to her in puzzlement. The young girl’s features were alight with excitement, her usual cornflower blue eyes darkened with intent.

‘I think we should go to the old Wildwood House.’

Sora and Kairi almost bounced in excitement. Sneaking into the old Wildwood House had been a tradition for the teenage population in their town for at least the past two decades. The old manor house had been empty for over one hundred years, allowing multiple rumours to circulate regarding why no one had bought it; tales varying from gruesome murders to alien abduction. It didn’t help that the house sat imposingly upon the tallest hill in the area, surrounded by a dense pine wood that was often enveloped in thick mist due to the multiple hot springs the territory was known for.

Namine beamed at her sister and Sora’s reactions as she began to twirl her ash blonde hair between her finger tips; her usual habit when dreaming up artistic ideas.

‘I’ve wanted to go for a while, apparently the architecture is untouched and even the original furniture and furnishings are unblemished - a paused moment in time. I really want to take some photos and maybe make a few quick sketches, but it’s way too creepy to go alone.’

The petite girl turned her pleading gaze upon Riku, who swiftly noticed all three of his friends were staring at him, silently pleading for his agreement.

‘Well if you three pansies think you’re up for it, why not,’ he shrugged, hooked his arms behind his head nonchalantly.

Sora grabbed Kairi’s hand, which she noticed was trembling slightly.

‘Oh my god Kairi, I can’t wait! Did you hear that the whole family was murdered up there by a wild axeman, and the ghosts still haunt the woods because they are buried in the floorboard.’

Kairi scoffed and argued, ‘don’t be stupid, they would have found the bodies. Everyone knows they made some kind of deal with the fairies for an immortal life and were transported to the faerie plain, they only return once a year to steal souls for the fairies.’

‘I heard that the man who lived there sold his soul to a fire demon for eternal beauty and power,’ retorted Namine. Riku let out a snicker and flicked a stray dice at the blonde. ‘Honestly, that’s the plot from Howl’s Moving Castle, you muppet.’

The youngest girl blushed and the four teenagers continued to bicker until they were interrupted by heavy footfalls and genial masculine voice.

‘Nah, the owner made a wish with a genie to be immortal, but it didn’t pan out quite the way he planned.’

Two young men appeared at the bottom of the stairs, one with a mischievous grin and pushed back dirty blonde hair, the other with an almost cherubic face; almost identical to Sora except obviously older with golden blonde styled locks, instead of a brown unkempt birdnest the younger brother liked to sport.

Roxas pondered for a moment, nudging his friend out of the way so he could grab a crisp from the bowl on the table, ‘that’s not it either, it was a djinn. He was so set on looking for power that he was possessed by a travelling djinn.’ He popped the crisp into his mouth and almost immediately winced, ‘what is wrong with you guys, prawn cocktail, really!’ Roxas grimaced and wiped his fingers on his little brother’s shirt.

Sora visibly bristled, shoving his brother away from the group.

‘What are you two doing down here, go away!’

‘Snacks of course,’ Hayner countered, grabbing a handful of prawn cocktail crisps and winking in Namine’s direction. Riku narrowed his eyes and tugged the younger girl to his side; he didn’t mind Roxas, but his flirtatious friend could often be a little too forward with Kairi and Namine. The girls never seemed to mind, but Riku knew that Hayner was less than innocent and not very faithful at that. He had overheard arguments between the two older boys regarding Hayner’s treatment of women for at least two years. He’d never mention it to Sora but he had accidentally walked in on the pair of them locked in an extremely heated embrace once. The memory of their tongues and roaming hands made him nauseous and caused a shudder to ripple through his body. Hayner obviously didn’t care whose pants he was getting into as long as he was getting satisfaction from them.

Deciding he’d annoyed his brother and company enough, Roxas gestured for his friend to follow him into the adjoining kitchen.

‘Come on, let the kids play.’

Hayner gave a brief wave and grin before accompanying Roxas into the kitchen and closing the door behind them.

‘Ah, that takes me back.’

Roxas raised an eyebrow in question whilst grabbing two cans of fizzy from the fridge, passing one to the other boy. Hayner gratefully accepted the can, popping it open with a satisfying hiss and taking a large gulp before answering, ‘you know, when you, me, Pence and Ollette used to come round here and play a bit of dungeons and dragons.’

Roxas rested his hip against the sideboard, his gaze turning pensive for a moment.

‘Yeah, back before it was cool,’ he laughed, ‘also before we discovered the lure of alcohol.’

Hayner slid forward and lightly caressed Roxas’s forearm, his voice taking on a heated tone ‘before we discovered other things as well.’

Roxas’s eyes flashed with annoyance and he gently but firmly brushed away the offending appendage. ‘Aren’t you seeing that guy Seifer.’

He moved away from his promiscuous friend, putting a bit of distance between them before taking a sip of his drink. Fooling around with Hayner has always been fun, but he worried it was a distraction from him finding a real and meaningful relationship; something Roxas was starting to desire more than simply sexual gratification. He wanted dedication and passion, and was perfectly aware Hayner was not capable of fulfilling those needs. He also wasn’t keen on accidentally becoming ‘the other man’ when his friend inevitably forgot he was in a monogamous relationship.

‘I was only teasing,’ Hayner said, not looking as chagrined as Roxas believed he should be feeling.

“Anyway, me and Seifer aren’t exactly exclusive,’ he continued, picking at the side of his can, ‘pretty sure he’s crashing with Fuu and there’s no way those two are platonic.’

Sensing his friend's discomfort Roxas replied, ‘you don’t know that, you know better than I do that he fights with his Dad on the regular. He probably just needed a safe place to stay and him and Fuu have been mates since primary school.’

A small smile flit across Hayner’s face as he glanced up.

“You’re probably right, always are.’

Roxas gave the taller boy a shove and the two chuckled quietly.

Sounds of giggling and shuffling trickled under the kitchen door as the pair relaxed into an amicable silence.

“Do you remember when we went up to the Wildwood House,” Roxas murmured.

Hayner shifted, leaning back on his tanned arms, ‘yeah, it was creepy man, but only because it was old and dark and we were thirteen.’

Roxas frowned, “what about the figure I saw, and that burning fire?’

Hayner snorted and replied, ‘dude, you freaked out at a curtain, and some group who went up before us must have lit a candle to scare the next visitors. Just don’t say anything to the kids; Sora will get all hyped up then they’ll all be disappointed when it’s just an empty old house.’

Yanking open a cupboard door, Hayner extracted a bag of bacon rasher crisps and a packet of party ring biscuits and gathered them under his arm.

“Come on mate, got your fav biscuits, let’s go destroy strangers on Rocket League.’

The muscular blonde elbowed open the door and strode away, leaving Roxas to his vague memories of a slim cloaked figure reaching out to him with a palm of smokeless flames.

#akuroku #axel #roxas #kingdom hearts #beauty and the beast #teen #hayner #namine and kairi are sisters #djinn #axel and roxas #fanfiction

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zanrai-kid · 4 years

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Pride Question Day 10: Write a letter to your younger self.

Hey, buddy. I don’t know how to accurately tell you this, but the signs were there. Whether it was when you lip synced to Britney Spears and Macy Gray at six years old, or started practicing flute in 3rd grade when most boys your age were taking sports (intramural soccer league was still fun, though).

When you were diagnosed with depression in sixth grade, it hurt. My goodness, it hurt. You remember distinctly it was when you couldn’t laugh at Cartoon Network anymore. It hurt to see humor but feel nothing. And yes, this was caused by the fact that sixth grade is designed to make or break people, and if any amount of mental instability is present, you are cast to the winds, forever that weird kid. By the way, challenge classes are for the most part a scam. If you want to challenge kids, have them learn about pertinent American history or financial stability.

You also learned that sixth grade is when the terrors come loose. Some of the absolute worst of human nature can be condensed into one calendar year of education. That’s when kids learn from their parents the most, and that means homophobia. You’re got called gay and kids played playground games with names that upset you. It should upset you. You’re weren’t “sensitive”, and you’re weren’t a “crybaby”; you knew this is wrong.

All the while, you got fed a steady diet of “let’s not talk about the gays” from your parents. You had two uncles who just wanted to show the world what they meant for each other who will eventually get married. You weren’t stupid, and you weren’t blind, but ultimately, looking back, I think high school was a defense mechanism.

There you were, online charter school, with no one around but your parents. Of course your views would reflect the world around you. Youth group also does that to people. You said you’re “politically incorrect”, but what does that really mean? It just means you were trying to be an adult. An edgy, stupid adult.

Community college was easy, but it was the first time you realized maybe you aren’t the new hotness. Maybe you should do better. Just maybe.

It wasn’t until university where your whole life stretched out ahead of you that you realized something. There’s something called LGBT, and it basically means that other than straight and gay, there’s a whole host of interesting things you can be. Crazy, I know! So while you shuffled on your way to classes, just remember that towards the end of your college career, you found femme men attractive. V E R y attractive.

And then comes the end of 2015, where you tell yourself, “I think I know what I am. I’m bisexual.” You still like women, and you know it, but you wouldn’t mind dating a man.

So, where are you now? Kinda wishing the world would cool it’s jets and take care of racism, like why are we still entertaining the whims of racists. Also, a plague!

In all seriousness, the next four years will be difficult. Really difficult. But here’s the thing. When you manage to dig yourself out of this hell and find the strength to tell the world, “You don’t dictate me, or my sexuality,” that is what true power sounds like. That is what real strength looks like.

I’m proud of whatever your doing, be it showing off to the world, surviving, coping, using defense mechanisms, or coming to terms with who you are. Right now, things could be better. But you now have the capability and the strength to show anyone that you are more than your depression and anxiety. You are an accomplished musician with several albums released. You are a caring and nurturing friend to those around you. You love your godson. You enjoy DnD and animation. You think Legend of Korra shouldn’t be trashed (shout out to LoK for giving you the world bisexuality). You still practice your religion but know that the dogma does not influence your views. You like men more than women now, but you don’t mind dating either. In fact, you’re good to date anyone regardless of gender! And yes, there’s this neat little thing called pansexuality, but for the record, you like knowing you’re bisexual. It’s the label you fought for, and no one can redefine what you are. Shout out to the pansexuals tho.

You also have a loving friend who wants to take you on a date for the first time, and he’s the same one you’ve had eyes on for two years. You are bisexual. Be proud of that. You’ve earned the right to be proud.

#whatsnewpride #day 10

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mattkenzie · 4 years

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So with a lot of changes going on in June with all this talk about racism being a hot button topic indeed, WotC (Wizards of the Coast) wants to revamp and update the diversity of Dungeons and Dragons especially those that are centred around the orcs, drow and the Vistani

So one of the biggest things I would change about the real world is to have fantasy races (elves, dwarves and orcs... etc) but my biggest fear is that deep down... humans can sometimes be racist to one another and I’ll be adding even MORE racism into the world if my dream and ideas of fantasy races lived in the real world would become a nightmare. 😢

So the first thing I will want to address is our mean, green fighting machines (the orcs); So it all started when J.R.R Tolkien wrote the Lord of the Rings Trilogy so we were introduced to the orcs there and soon the orcs have became the staple of fantasy novels henchmen, brutes and thugs for our heroes to fight against. It’s sad that we have to picture them as stupid brutes and when I was younger in my Warhammer 40,000 and Warhammer Fantasy days (I was about 12 or 13 at that time) I hated the orcs because of how the books considered them to be these dumb brutes (nobody wanted to play with them because in 40,000 they have the lowest Armour Saves you have to roll a d6 and prey to the dice gods that you’ll get a 6 if your opponent doesn’t use an AP 6 (Amour Penetration) weapon (+5 if they have scrap armour) and in Fantasy Battles if you have a Dwarf Army (with I did) you get to reroll your failed rolls to hit giving us more chances roll to wound (eventually I stopped using the Dwarves ‘hatred’ rule that the other players say that I am the easiest person to win against because I choose not to use the hatred rule. (I just don’t know why I never heavy rely on the Hatred rule, why should hate win?)

When I started playing World of Warcraft after my college years (For the Alliance) I loved the Draenei but eventually there were times I wanted to know what it was like being the Horde. (you have your Undead, Tauren, Trolls and Blood Elves but what stood out more are the Orcs.) I sometimes want to know how the other half lives that I have slowly became accustomed to the Orcs, sure the Alliance had their Paladins as their exclusive class but the Horde had something different and I love the fact that they are spiritual (shamanism), No I have never seen the movie. But as a human, I started to find tusks appealing.

It’s funny how in the real world, eventhough I am a Caucasian male, I wanted to know what it’s like to be black. (with all that “Black Lives Matter”, I will admit that I used to think that all lives matter... but that is not the case anymore because some people aren’t treated as equals. We portray those who are different from us ‘savages’ even in modern media (of television, movies and video games) we portray people in the Middle East as Terrorists ever since the 9/11 attacks (September 11th) and we portray people who are black as gangsters and thugs and one of my favourite shows happens to be The Boondocks and while Riley Freeman plays the stereotype (that portrayal needs to stop), my favourite character is Huey Freeman and for a fictional character, he challenged the way I think about things). I have made some awesome friends at Church who are black but they’ve broken that mould. I went to college with them (but we didn’t go to the same department mind you) while I was getting a higher education, they have been studying to become physicians (they are smarter than me). They go to interviews to not get hired (instead they hire someone less qualified) they have been stopped by the police for driving cars they shouldn’t normally have (but earned it fair and square).

Heck there were times where they didn’t fit in the black community because they acted white. “How!?” (I’m sorry, how you can be rejected for being black on the outside but have personality traits of a Caucasian?) just to be called a ‘Sell Out’ or a ‘Bounty Bar’.

So anyway back to my D&D discussion, to me when I’ve played my first ever D&D 5E game with a gaming group known as the “Natural Oneduhs” my first character that I’ve created is Kamui, the Half-Orc (my DM wanted Kamui to either be a shade of green or grey, but I was having none of that “All orcs should be green or grey.” so I chose to stick to my guns to be Caucasian). I played against type because orcs in a fantasy setting (with their +2 Str and +1 Con they would be suited to play as Barbarians or Fighters) so because orcs aren’t an intelligent race I thought I’d kick things up a bit so I chose to play as a Bard. After these sessions with the (playing in the DM’s world and no stories for the individual players) Kamui grew up in a human society because the orcs rejected Kamui for not being an orc, but is always portrayed as a monster no matter the colour of his skin, (in 2nd Edition orcs aren’t a playable race, it was later introduced in 3rd Edition) sick and tired of the prejudice he sees where people see Kamui as an orc and not an actual person only one person accepted Kamui.

“What I hate about society is people tend to use violence as a weapon to get their point across (which ends up breaking into war) instead we need to use our voices and our own words to speak volumes.”

So the books that I have read where the orcs/half-orcs have became the anti-heroes is The Grey Bastards and True Bastards by Jonathan French (it’s the most boyish book I ever read) so I have Volo’s Guide to Monsters and the Explorer’s Guide to Wildemount.

Now the Vistani (they are a travelling group of gypsies commonly found in Barovia in any Ravenloft campaign) and in the real world we look down upon the Romani gypsies because they couldn’t follow our “rules of society” by dumping their old trailers (fly-tipping), setting up camps in public spaces and being in large groups (I’m a large man, but I’m scared of getting ganged up on or mugged by them when I am walking down the road) not exactly Esmarelda from Disney’s The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

I don’t know why, but I tend to see them hanging out in boxing clubs and riding (or racing) in those 1 horse carriages or sometimes having lunch in the carvery (and ignore social rules like changing a baby on the dinner table) which is gross, “We having changing facilities!”, Oh it’s your kids birthday and you let them watch a 12 rated movie instead of a U rated film yet your kids choose to cause havoc in the cinema “Yep, still ignoring the rules of society!” and then having the audacity to be dumping popcorn on me when watching Avengers Assemble because your kids couldn’t follow the rules! in this TV show on Channel 4 My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding. I never played a Vistani before but it would be interesting to see more variant humans in the game.

In real life, with what I had to put up with, I think I would be scared to make a friend with the Romani (learnt behaviour) but I admire them for being a tight knit group, you don’t see that in modern day society, we are all wrapped our heads around social media.

I can picture them with Animal Handling and Performance as their skills, have a proficiency with a musical instrument.

The Drow (Dark Elves) have been painted as sadomasochist and well... “evil” but what I find fascinating and appreciate them is their religion because they have female priests. What I am saying is that in the real world, it’s a rare sight to see a female Vicar (I feel that it’s quite progressive but other people (old men and traditionalists) are apprehensive about having a woman to preach about the gospel.) Look at Matthew Mercer’s Critical Role campaign 2 and take a look at the Krynn Dynasty.

I never played a drow before and I don’t think I shall anytime soon. I know that a popular drow that is well known is Drizz’t and to fight against the stereotypical world view that all drow are evil because of Lolth, the Spider Queen... I don’t think a religion should define you. But it’s like I said, I believe that this has ushered in having a female priest (if you’ve seen the Victor of Dibbley you might understand where I am coming from.)

For me the Orcs in my world are indeed a tribal society (and I give them a Polynesian/New Zealand/Aztec/Hawaiian flair to them, instead of “Makin’ um as da dum broots dey are”).

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bluejaytaco · 4 years

Text

Jay plays DND Part...4?

(Losing track of how many of these were done. Also, this one’s hella long)

So, recent session was Art at his finest.

We are now up to a part with two generals. One of them is Art’s sister, Rieta (Known as General Pink). Her mind is completely broken to the point of making her basically a beast-like berserker. The second general is Orange, who Art has taken to calling “General Fedora.” He is the definition of a neckbeard mixed with r/iamverysmart.

But his ability is to take the will away from opponents and control them like puppets. And, when Art tried to get Rieta away from him, Orange showed off said abilities. By taking control of Art, Theodora(Paladin and Team leader) and Hennessy(Wizard.) We had to attack Koejin(Ranger) and our new barbarian gnome, Wreybar, then roll to see if we could break the spell. This is how it went down:

Me: So, I’m gonna cast Vicious Mockery.

DM, knowing me too well: You remember the rule for that, right?

Me(Agreed that I have to insult for real to use it:) Yeah, I know...

DM: Go ahead then.

Me: I look at Koejin and say, “Hey, Drunkie. You gonna attack or just stand there looking stupid?”

Koejin’s player: Woooooow...... Not gonna lie, that stings a little.

DM: Watch Art snap out of the spell and go “Hey Drunkie, fuck you.... I’m sorry....”

(He didn’t snap out of it. Hennessy did after Koejin cast Fog cloud so we couldn’t see.)

Hennessy: Okay, I’m going to cast Charm person on Theodora and Art.

Theodora’s roll: *Passes*

My Roll: *Fails*

DM: Okay, so Theodora just brushes it off. Art now has two controlling spells fighting in his head. He wants to listen to Orange and fight you, but also really doesn’t want to hurt Hennessy because of the charm. So there’s a back and forth where he is extremely conflicted. Then Art feels a burn from Ticket Master’s ring on his finger and he passes out.

Me: So Ticket Master just kinda goes “Sleep.”

DM: Pretty much.

Art, in game: Alright, imma head out... *passes out face first in the dirt*

Theodora rolls and breaks free from the spell on the following turn. In this time, Koejin had followed a mysterious figure out of the fog to where Orange was trying to run off with Pink in tow. (Sidenote: Pink had been ordered to attack us and Meatball, a giant t-rex who we befriended, had stepped in the way. Meatball has the sigil of the BBEG on his leg.)

When he sees we’ve broken the spell, he tries to sic Pink on them again but she runs off into the woods. Art woke up shortly after, demanded to know where his sister was then tried to take off after her. (He was stopped by the mystery person.)

Me: Alright so, being that Art can’t follow Rieta, he turns and storms up to Orange.

DM, knowing Art is weak as shit physically: Does he attack him?

Me: Of course not. He grabs him and goes “Listen here, you little shit. You’re going to give us the fucking stone or we’re gonna beat it out of you.”

DM: Roll for intimidation.

Art: *Hella intimidating with a 17*

DM: Alright, so Orange is shaking as Art grabs him by the shirt and kinda shakes him a little. He puts his hands up and goes “I couldn’t if I wanted to! The stone’s in my head!”

Art: We could fix that.

Everyone readying their weapons behind Art.

Koejin: Nothing a little surgery can’t handle.

As we’re all discussing how to best take care of this, there’s a buzz in Theodora’s pocket. It’s the future leader of Acentria saying “Remember: don’t kill anyone!”

Theodora: Ah, shit... Guys... we can’t do this.

Everyone else: *sputtering different words of disappointment because we’re all children of chaotic stupid*

Hennessy then charmed Orange into telling us how the stone got in in the first place. Orange says he doesn’t know, just one day he was asked if he wanted to be a general. I said “okay” then I woke up with a stone in my head.

Art: Maybe... if we take him to Thia (The future leader) we can use her stone to pull out this one... like a magnet.

Orange: You can do whatever you want, just keep that thing away from me. *points at Wreybar.* Gnomes freak me out. That’s why I had Pink destroy the village.

Wreybar: You’re the face I saw in the flames! I thought I recognized you! You’re dead! *goes to attack but is stopped by our new mystery ally* Let me at ‘im!

Orange: No... Pink wanted to do it. Cuz gnomes are so gross...

Art: First of all, racist. Secondly, whaaaaaaaaaat???

Orange: she’s a bloodthirty monster. She wanted to kill them.

Art: Uhhhh, no. Not true. Nope. (Super denial about his sister being a murderhobo)

So, then we start discussing how to get everyone and a t-rex back to the bar where Thia is currently stationed.

Theodora: If Green were here, we could teleport...

Art:...... well, we do know.... someone else.... who can teleport...

Everyone turned to Art. It took them all a moment to realize who he was talking about before out came a collective groan.

Koejin: Didn’t we all agree we wouldn’t trust him?

Art, still hella thirsty for the D: No.

Koejin: No. We’re not asking Ticket Master.

DM: Once Koejin says the name, Ticket Master appears with a boom box on his shoulder and says “did someone say my name?”

Koejin and Theodora both start talking about this “Website that rips people off” to which Art just kinda looks at them in confusion and goes “what’s a website?” I imagine someone pushed him back so he wasn’t really heard.

We continued to discuss different ways to get everyone back to Thia. The train is mentioned once but we can’t get meatball onto the train. Ticket Master speaks up again only to get Koejin’s hand in his face as we talk. The idea them comes from out Mystery friend.

General Green can be used to teleport, but he’s a lich who feeds off knowledge. If someone was willing to give up their intelligence temporarily, he could get us back and forth then return to “death” shortly after.

Art:...I’ll do it.

Everyone else: *Ignoring him to talk about how no one wants to do it*

DM, the only one who heard him: Didn’t Art just say he would?

Art: Yeah. I mean, why not? He’ll have all my knowledge right?

DM: Yep.

Art: And he’s a genius. Which means he could connect dots I haven’t been able to. So, hook me up.

DM: Mystery woman pulls out one of Green’s threads and snaps it into the back of Art’s head. You are down to -2 on intelligence and Art is a bumbling idiot.

Art: *just kinda staring off into space*...*Sees Green when he appears* you look tired.

Green, who just wants to die: Yeah.

Art:...you should take a nap.

Green: What’s going on? Why’s Art a- *notices the thread* oh.

Everyone catches Green up on the situation and Art tries to help in the most unhelpful way possible. Green then opens a portal for everyone which is much clearer than it was the last time we used a portal.

Hennessy: ...wow, Art, you are really smart....

Art:...there was a dog... dogwoof.

(This part was hard because I wanted to actually help but the DM kept having to remind me Art was pretty much useless so I had to struggle with words and just be stupid.)

Right before we were all supposed to leave (because BBEG was on her way) Hennessy took the opportunity to whisk his NPC boyfriend into the shop in order to propose, which also ended in Hennessy getting laid. Koejin was pissed they were wasting time.

DM: Everyone outside can hear Vincent’s moaning.

Art: Why is he hurting that poor man?!

Koejin, still pissed off: Yeah, Art. This isn’t right that he’s doing this. We should leave him!

Art: Yeah, he seems mean :(! *makes no attempt to go near the portal*

Koejin’s player: Jay has been waiting for this opportunity to make Art a fucking idiot.

Me: Damn right!

So everyone walks through the portal and appears right in front of the bar. Once we all walk through the portal, Green flicks Art in the forehead and disconnects, which kills him instantly. Art then has a headache and now has a disadvantage on intelligence rolls for the foreseeable future.

Thia’s already outside of the bar, talking to people about her plans to change the world. We approach her with Orange and tell her the situation.

Thia, happy to see a living general: You’re actually not killing people!

Theodora: We’ve been trying not to!

Hennessy: Yeah, we have saved more than we killed!

Art: *counting the bodies and deciding it’s probably best to keep his mouth shut*

Thia puts the stone to Orange’s head and, for a moment, nothing happens. Then, it bursts out of his skull, splattering brain matter all over and gets absorbed into Thia’s stone.

Thia, shocked: .....I just killed that guy....

Art: No, No you didn’t. It was the stone, you had no control-

Orange, clearly not all there:... what’re you guys talking about....? I...I feel fine...

Art: He’s still alive!

Thia: Can you really call that living?!

Art: uhhhh, sure!

Thia:... we should get him healed. Everyone, come in. We can talk about everything inside.

So, we all head to the bar where Meatball is being put up right on the side. Koejin, who had a drink that gave her truesight, saw that Meatball is actually a dragonborn named Eltbalm; the lover of BBEG (Mrs. Red) Koejin has the hots for Eltbalm so she decides to hang out with him.(He’s still unconscious)

Art: But...it’s a bar.... also, sorry about that “Drunkie” comment before. I didn’t mean it.

Koejin: Yeah you did.

Art:... No, but-

Theodora, throwing her arm around Art’s shoulder: Art, Art, Art, Art.... Shut the fuck up.

Art and the others go into the bar, leaving Koejin. In a previous session, we saved a bunch of kids from Green’s spire and now they spend most of their time at the bar, where Meatball was watching them. When they see him, they all run up to hug him and cry around him.

DM: Koejin, you notice one child is missing.

Me:.... is it the tiefling boy?

DM: It is the tiefling boy.

Koejin, to one of the kids: Hey, where’s your little tiefling friend?

The kid: His mom came to pick him up.

Koejin:... uh... guys?!?!

A message is sent between Koejin and Alabaster to relay the information. Art, hearing that “mom” picked up this supposed orphan child, immediately flips out on the bartender that let him leave with her and demands to know how long ago she came. He bolts for the door.

DM: When Art goes to run out the door, he runs into someone’s chest. It’s Ticket Master.

Art: Shit... Hi.

Ticket Master: Oh, hello! You guys kinda left without me!

Art: Right, yeah. Did you see a tiefling go through here?

Ticket Master: You mean your sister? Yes! I brought her here since you missed her.

Art: *trying so hard to process the feelings going through him* Did you see... where she went?

Ticket Master: Yes, she went that way. *arrows appear to point in every direction*

Art: Wow, you’re useless!... (Hennessy: Is this what marriage is gonna be like?!) Is there anyway for you to tell me where she went.

Ticket Master: Sure! But I need something...

Art: Okay?

Ticket Master: From her. *points at Koejin*

Art, suddenly very tense: ...Why her?

Ticket Master: Because I’ve already gotten everything I’ve wanted out of you.

Art:....fucker....

Ticket Master, ignoring Art: So, Koejin...?

Koejin:.... I want you.... to leave.

Ticket Master:...*shrugs* Okay. *Just walks away*

Art, in his head: yeah, that’s not gonna come back to bite us.

Koejin is then reminded of the fact that she has tracking skills and a bloodhawk(named Pirate) for situations just like this. She seems slightly... put off by the idea.

Koejin: I’m not risking Pirate safety.

Art: Pirate can fly. Rieta can’t. He’ll be fine.

Koejin: Right... Pirate, look for General Pink and the kid. But keep your distance.

DM: Pirate flies onto Art’s shoulder, rips out a piece of his hair and eats it. Then, he flies off and searches the area until he lands on the roof of a small house in the woods. He perches there and caws loudly.

We all ran into the woods to the house to find it was boarded up. None of the panels were missing so it wasn’t a break in. We all think of the best way to do this.

Koejin: Someone could go in there.

Art: I could sneak in. My stealth is pretty high.

Koejin: Yeah... should let the stealthy tiefling go in... I’m gonna come too. I’m pretty stealthy.

(Koejin and Art are now Stealth Buddies.)

DM: So, you sneak in and it’s dark. Koejin, you can see shadows and movement. Art, you see Pink standing over a body. She has something dripping from her mouth.

Art, stunned, uses sending so they don’t make a noise: So, don’t freak out.... but I think Rieta killed a kid....

Koejin, message back:.... cooooool.... so, what do we do?

Art: *just staring at the situation*

DM: Neither of you smell blood so there’s that.

Koejin’s player: I wouldn’t even know what blood smells like right off the bat.

Me and the DM, in unison: Koejin would.

Koejin’s player: Right. *laughs* Art’s hand.

Koejin moved for a chair to get closer and hide behind. Art, being the beautiful suicidal dumbass he is, goes the opposite direction to get to the other side of Pink.

DM: Koejin, you slip over to the chair without making a sound. Art, when you take a step, your foot lands on a board that creaks and gives you away. Pink snaps around to look at you. She is frothing; the kid is still alive and fine. She hasn’t done anything yet.

Art:... Hi, Rieta...

DM: When he sees Art, the kid calls out “Help me!” Pink grabs hold of the boy by the hair and lifts him off the floor.

Art: Nonononononononono.... Don’t do this. You don’t have to do this.

Koejin: *readies her bow from her position behind the chair, aimed for Pink’s wrist*

DM: All of you feel a sudden heat. Moments later, the door blows off it’s hinges and it’s Mrs. Red. She is pissed. She glares at Pink and yells “You killed my love.” Koejin, because of the truesight potion, you see Red’s face is that of a red dragon. Mrs. Red is a red dragon.

Koejin’s player: Oh shit!

DM: And we’ll end there for this week.

(This game is getting insane. Also, if you got all the way through this, thank you! Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. There’s a lot of stuff left out from this just because it was already getting super long.)

#dnd #adventures of art the bard #tiefling #dnd bard #dnd barbarian #dnd ranger #dnd wizard #dnd paladin #homebrew characters #long post #Art and Koejin are forming this whole sibling dynamic and I am living for it #shut up jay

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autumnsidhe · 5 years

Note

Answer all the things

D&D Ask Meme

ah fuck. i can’t believe you’ve done this.everything’s going under a read more b/c it’s gonna be long as all fuck

2. Your favorite character that someone else has played.ollie……….. little shit idiot i love him? he and james are both anarchist dumbass but in different ways. brothers in arms.

3. Your favorite side quest.oh christ. there’s no real particular side quests but my fave side plot in general is what i’ll summarise as “alora is a rat bastard.”

alora met a hot rich socialite guy who seemed really into her and she decided she was gonna play the long con on him b/c he might be useful

she and james both agreed to side w/ king clockwork, but when the king actually mentioned it alora gave james a Look™ and he was mad as fuck. he’s still kinda mad as fuck

she decided to be pals w/ a main antagonist (gluto) and didn’t tell us until days after it happened that he’d talked to her in his dreams

alora was told to not tell anyone abt the repugnant’s secret organisation. she immediately spilled the info to everyone

she was told to not mention the organisation’s meeting or anything that went on there. she immediately spilled the info to the motley and literally sent us a photo of the repugnant on his throne speaking to everyone

she was told to keep a specific person away from castle repugnant. she let him waltz right up to the castle w/ everyone else and seemed confused when they said he couldn’t go in

she broke into somewhere w/ gluto and then left him in a room full of very important documents b/c she somehow didn’t think taking him there to begin w/ wouldn’t backfire

the last thing james said to her was literally “i take it back, you’re a stupid shit idiot and i hate you”

4. Your current campaign.random sideplots get to go here this time! most of them are james or ollie b/c we interact the most w/ npcs

james and galant romance sideplot and the sheer amount of wild scenes that have happened as a result (the date, le fway showing up, addy’s dating advice, “ollie, you’re pretty ignorant”, “so you killed your boyfriend”)

ash coaches a baseball team

ollie tries to handle pink drugs, fails to provide any evidence that he’s not the cause

alora helps the repugnant, always immediately regrets it b/c he’s a little bastard man

the gang trying to figure out what’s going on w/ the repugnant’s amnesia

james accidentally making friends w/ a black spiral dancer and being heavily in denial abt why cylus probably got so attached to begin w/ (hint: it’s the anarchy and the horrid rebellious streak)

james nearly sides w/ the main antagonist b/c he’s got the right idea but his methods are fucked

ollie goes to fairy prison, makes friends w/ a vampire and some old sidhe, is currently in the middle of trying to break out

5. Favorite NPC.unfortunately it might be cylus? cylus is like 6 levels of batshit at any given moment and was introduced to us as a nameless dangerous prisoner that galant was holding for some sort of treaty? and james and addy were told to not listen to him for any reason and to not let him free. and of course james let him free. he shifted into a giant 9ft-ish tall war form and then james realised he was really in over his head. upside: he went back in his cell afterwards. downside: he got attached to james. also downside: james didn’t actually get warned that he was a dangerous war criminal until after all this went downthen cylus literally showed up in james’ dream to tell him a few things and warn him that he was planning to escape? and there was nothing james could do b/c “i heard it in a dream” isn’t exactly a solid claim esp when he doesn’t have any sort of future sight. and of course cylus broke outthen james ran into him in the dreaming and james was losing his mind the entire time b/c cylus is an absolute freak and james was stuck walking w/ him for like 2 hours. then like an hour after they parted ways james got flung into a ditch on the edge of town (in the real world) and cylus carried an unconscious james like a sack of potatoes into waffle house and just let him sleep on the table for a bit. then like 3 days later cylus broke into his apartment and made him breakfast.and then james got flung out into the middle of nowhere again for reasons and cylus was there and james had the choice of dealing w/ cylus or being horribly lost in the woods so he chose the first one. and he nearly got caught in the middle of a big werewolf fight that cylus orchestrated. and also nearly got caught in some extremely violent family drama.throughout all of this cylus is acting like he’s james’ best friend and last time they spoke cylus really wanted to do buddy cop stuff! they’re pals! totally! and james wants absolutely none of it but he can’t explode on him b/c he’s a skinny little twink and cylus could snap him like a twig w/ no effort

to summarise:

6. Favorite death (monster, player character, NPC, etc).we actually haven’t had many deaths! the only ones i can think of in game that aren’t random monsters were the old bastard and nor nan, which. were both interesting in their own ways, but nor nan’s was mostly tragic and i don’t wanna get feelsy so i’ll just use the old bastard here.to set the scene: we’re at a fancy party. ash and marike (an npc, he’s an unseelie lord and overall a hell of a time) are off on their own trying to catch chimerical creatures that stole their weapons. marike curbstomps one, meanwhile the other has climbed up onto a curtain rod. the place has really high ceilings. his solution? pick up ash and toss him at the creature. ollie and the old bastard (who owns the house) walk in just as this is happening, and the old bastard sees ash tear down the curtain rod for no damn reason. of course he demands answers. ash tries to bullshit a story abt an entire family of raccoons they were trying to chase outthen the old bastard gets shot in the head. ollie and marike are splattered w/ blood. he hits the ground, ash makes a joke abt “telling his wife the bad news”then he notices his wife is the one who just shot him

7. Your favorite downtime activity.the entire arc’s taken place over the course of 15 days in-game, including downtime. we haven’t had any specific downtime activities per say, but the best moment we’ve had during downtime was when ollie broke into james’ apartment and now he refuses to let ollie anywhere near his apartment complex

8. Your favorite fight/encounter.i’ll stick to generally hostile meetings for this since we’ve only a small handful of solid fights? but it’s either “james nearly dies” or “ollie is a good distraction”

to set the scene for the first one: the hospital chimerically burnt down, so the motley decided to investigate and sneaked in as janitors. james ended up alone down in the morgue after finding a body covered in chimerical burns getting wheeled down there. he checks it out, takes a couple photos on his phone. then the door opens.james starts cleaning and stuff, but it turns out the person who came in (gluto!) was also a changeling and very easily noticed the fact that he’s got really noticeable pointy ears in his fae mien. and of course he starts threatening james. and after he pulls out a massive scythe. james sends everyone an sos but they all get stuck in the elevator. so james pulls a gun in a fucking hospital. and he gets called on the bluff but before he can put it away, in bursts galantgalant starts kicking a bit of ass, and then gluto ripped the (already weak from the fire) chimerical ceiling down on top of them! galant did some shit to lift the rubble off them with little to no effort and james was kinda like “oh no he’s hot” for a second before galant kicked a bit more ass and gluto ran like hell!then he next night galant literally died for james (it’s okay, he got better) and confessed that james is his true love and just. man.

for the second one: there’s 3 assassins after galant. he fucked off to lovescreek in order to avoid them, but when ollie found him, one of the assassins had found him! so ollie joins the fray against this troll (who are like 8′ at the shortest), and after a short bit gluto joined in as well to distract ollie from the main fight! so what did ollie do? start loudly singing “i’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts” for a chicanery bunk to turn galant invisible. and of course both assassins turned on him and he ended up having to run like hell but when he lost them galant reappeared and was like “well that was fun”

9. Your favorite thing about D&D tabletop RPGs.i’ll keep it real, i’ve disliked every dnd system i’ve experimented w/ and i’m not a fan of most fantasy so it’s unlikely i’ll every actually play a proper dnd game but god… tabletop stuff is just so much fun? mostly the story and the fact that joe is absolutely godly

10. Your favorite enemy and the enemy you hate the most.cylus may be my fav npc but my fav antagonist is definitely king clockwork? ic my very first encounter with him led into him and james talking about their beliefs and ideals for like 2 hours straight and when he was getting ready to leave james was ecstatic that he’d finally met someone who fully understood his mindset. then the bomb dropped that he was the boss of the other antagonists and james was hit w/ this utter horror. and then james considered siding w/ him for a long ass time before eventually trying to kill him to put a stop to everything. yeah. yeahmy fav enemy/antagonist is absolutely gluto b/c he’s creepy as shit. during anyone’s first encounter w/ him i was completely solo and it was horribly unsettling and i simultaneously love and despise him

11. How often do you play and how often would you ideally like to play?we meet once a week! what game we run varies but recently it’s been changeling every week since we’re still waiting on player characters to start hunter the reckoning lmao

12. Your in game inside jokes/memes/catchphrases and where they came from.we have a bunch of them but uhhhhh random ones off the top of my head

“it’s always sunny in coolville” b/c i realised early on that we were going to be up to a lot of dumb shenanigans and it was easy to make it’s always sunny title cards based on each session

#saveduke b/c there was a whole thing at one point where we had to keep him from getting kidnapped. spun off from that are #SaveDukeFromHimself, #SaveGalantFromJamesStupidity and #SaveDukeAgain?

“appearance 4, captivating” b/c dom said it regularly for multiple sessions until his character dirty danced with a hot guy at a party, after which he decided that alora was a lesbian

“does [insert art] let me throw fireballs?” b/c dom wanting to throw fireballs down the street is a running joke but also he unironically asked if primal 2 would let him throw fireballs

“james got norted” b/c he nearly joined the main antagonist, which devolved into “[insert random character] got norted” at the most random times

james and galant touching tips b/c at one point while they were casually talking ollie just started going 👉👈 in the background and james got really mad and flustered abt it so everyone started doing it

“ultra instinct ash” b/c he’s our shaggy and also has done like fuck all nothing productive in game so him going fucking super saiyan to kill the final boss is hilarious

“i got two hands!” b/c people regularly ask why ollie dual wields broadwords

#OllieOllieOxenFREE b/c ollie got himself sent to fairy jail

“i did [stupid thing], can i buy [half related skill]?” like “i attempted murder, can i get chronos 2?” or “i was an assassin in a past life, can i get melee 3?”

“people, let me tell you bout my best friend!” abt james and cylus b/c boy does james have bad taste in friends

14. Introduce any other parties you have played in or DM-ed.uhhh exalted is the only one i’ve been a part of that’s been solidly active, but we’ve got characters for scion for when 2e drops, and i’ve got characters set up for chaos reigns when joe starts the next arc b/c i didn’t wanna peter parker myself into the finale. i don’t remember the rest of the scion crew well enough but i love them

15. Do you have snacks during game times?we almost always grab food on the way there and eat before we properly start

16. Do you play online or in person? Which do you prefer?in person! it’s the only way i’ve ever done it but i’m 🙏 that maricopa gets running online b/c……….. vampire good………..

17. What are some house rules that your group has?the big house rule for changeling is “ run things fast and loose.” joe knows the characters well and what’s on their sheets so we don’t do too much dice rolling except for arts. joe also takes some artistic liberties w/ some things, mainly wayfare and the inanimae, b/c his main goal is to make a good story and he’s sure as fuck succeeding

18. Does your party keep any pets?do addy and duke count? they’re a white rabbit and a beagle. beyond that, addy’s got pet rabbits, and ollie might be feeding a stray cat

19. Do you or your party have any dice superstitions?not really. dom claims that dice rollers hate him but he also keeps using his dice roller rather than pulling out physical dice

20. How did you get into D&D? How long have you been playing?i got into tabletop years ago when harley introduced me to the dystopia rising larp and i decided to check out the tabletop version for more lore. the current tabletop system sucks but onyx path is handling 2e and i’m so hyped for it. at some point a bit later i played vampire the masquerade bloodlines, and it got me into the world of darkness and well. i still love it.as for how long i’ve been playing, uh. around a year i think? i forget when we started exalted the borderlands-ing. i’d been sitting in on the group for around a year before that, mostly getting a feel for things and also we were trying to figure out a good jumping in point for me and i wish i could’ve started earlier but it let me mesh w/ everyone a bit easier and also have an outsider’s viewpoint when it came to certain issues

21. Have you ever regretted something your character has done?oh absolutely, “i fucked up” is the semi-catchphrase for james for a reason. he theoretically has common sense b/c i usually say “this is gonna be stupid/bad” either ic or ooc before i do some shit and well. yeah it doesn’t usually go well but we have fun

23. Do you use premade modules or original campaigns?i think the only thing not original we’ve run since i moved up is strange aeons and maybe a coc scenario? everything else has been original campaigns

24. How much planning/preparation do you do for a game?not too much, really. i sometimes plan out a little of what i’m going to do, but half the time i never actually have the chance b/c stuff moves in a different direction than i was expecting. however i also write the summaries of the shit we’ve gotten up to every session so there’s that

25. What have your players done that you never could have planned for?i’m not a dm but i’m answering this for joe b/c he flat-out admitted that he couldn’t predict what was going to happen in at least half of changeling b/c we’re an unpredictable mess but everything’s come together to make a really interesting finale

30. Are your players diplomatic or murder hobos?answering this one too even tho it’s still a dm question b/c the players themselves are half diplomatic (me, mal, joe depending on game) and half murder hobos (fredy, dom). dom’s been going more diplomatic w/ alora but also she’s so bad at it and it’s wonderful

31. What is your favorite class? Favorite race?classes aren’t a thing in changeling but out of the kiths ouuuuuuuugh i love sidhe a lot. like they’re honestly cool as hell and i fucking love the house lore? i’ll also do houses b/c fuck it, my fav house is beaumayn b/c they have no chill and every bit of house lore they have is brutal as hell

32. What role do you like to play the most? (Tank/healer/etc?)just looking at my trends of characters i’ve got currently (re)built, i have:- the face (james, rex, val)- support (henri, caoimhe, river kinda?)- the antisocial son of a bitch (nomi, neil)- “i’m going to wreck anything you point me at” (hound, oliver, elliot but not by his own choice)- pure chaos (nora, glitch mage)gemma is kinda hard to put into any category b/c she’s babey?

33. How do you write your backstory, or do you even write a backstory?it depends on the character? some characters don’t have backstories (caoimhe, nora), some i’ve fleshed out heavily (james). it’s usually assembled from a bunch of random snippets written over the course of however long. some of it’s heavily thought out, other parts are just kinda arbitrary. i also tend to run some more important chunks past joe or mal just to see how they feel? james being from house gwydion was originally arbitrary and wasn’t really gonna matter (joe himself said it would just be a bit of flavour) then he figured out how to fold it into plot and i’m thriving b/c le fway is wild

34. Do you tend pick weapons/spells for being useful or for flavor?flavour, though use is also a bonus? artswise james currently has naming/chronos/contract, which are all useful in their own ways but also reflect his past lives / him as a person

35. How much roleplay do you like to do?yes. if i’m not able to embrace the character i’m playing is it really that fun? is it really? no b/c when that happens to this group we get the dumbed down version of chaos reigns and i go fucking batshit b/c of the fact that combat takes way too long

#anon #ask to tag #i love changeling so much and i will absolutely infodump abt it whenever i have the chance #that sweet hyperfocus mood

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