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rose-tinted-nostalgia · 1 month

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#I know life is hard and we shouldn't take it personally and we should never expect people to coddle us and blah blah #but really I would like to just survive one day without someone being mean to me #I don't even need a day of people being nice #truly I would just take one completely mundane day where I didn't get cursed out or yelled at or spoken down to #and yes I'm well aware this is partially my fault because one person in particular I surround myself with is trash #but it's not just him #my sister cursed me out and accused me of insulting her because I said I didn't agree with her on something #I didn't even say she was wrong I legit told her her feelings were valid and that it was just hard for me to see it from the same #perspective #and when she got upset i took it all back and said I was wrong and apologized and still she berated me over messenger until I cried because #I didn't know what else to say #and even though I'm sick #I got up and cooked dinner for my family and I cleaned up the whole mess and put it all away but I didn't do the dishes because I was #struggling and had to lay back down #and my mom came out and did not say thanks for dinner or thanks for cleaning up or anything of the sort #she came out rolled her eyes scoffed gestured to the dishes in the sink and said you have a mess here #and then proceeded to complain about how I didn't do the dishes #and that's stupid to let that bother me but I swear it's an every day thing and like I was so proud of myself for getting up and cooking an #cleaning up my mess because I was struggling to get out of bed at all #and still all she can bring up is the negative and no matter what i do it's always like that never a positive note #and for the record my mom lives with me for free taking over my son's bedroom it's not like i left dishes in her house it's my dishes in my #house #and ofc my son's father found a way to yell at me but i don't even count that anymore #and i'm just emotionally drained #and it feels like lately it's just an every day thing and i'm so fucking tired #I can't remember the last time someone said anything kind to me at all and that's not an exaggeration #no one ever says i love you or i'm proud of you or thanks for doing that or this helps alot or you got this or you're good at this #and I just wish someone could see something good in me for once

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heartbreakfeelsogood · 2 months

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#i do not want to work tomorrow i want to lay in bed and be sad #i’m really realizing how miserable of a person i am i am always fucking Sad and when i do feel happy i cry when it’s over #and i can’t even resemble a human being without medication and i know that’s fine but i’m still always sad. it doesn’t go away #i feel like nobody deserves to have me weighing them down like i’ve cried in front of people three times this week and i know it’s fine #but i feel so fucking guilty about it and i feel guilty about everything i feel like i’m doing nothing right and i’m not dealing with thing #right and i’m not living right and i feel like it must be so fucking difficult to love me and i don’t know how people do it #i don’t even feel capable of asking for. any sort of love ever #i feel like i don’t deserve like anything. i feel like nobody actually wants to do things for me lol #every single dsy i’m like wow i want to be held and every single dsy i feel bad even asking for a hug from someone #when i need reassurance i’m afraid to ask because what if i’m just being annoying and overbearing and too much Bad #i never feel like too much good. only bad.#i know a lot of these shitty thoughts are just because i’ve been unmedicated (meds will be ready tomorrow lol) but it just like #it sucks to know medication just kinda hides these thoughts better and that deep down i feel like this because i don’t want to #i feel like everyone in my life doesn’t deserve someone who doubts everything all the time #i think my mother deserved a stronger daughter and i think my friends deserve someone that’s not always breaking and i just don’t feel Good #i don’t know why anyone keeps me around #sometimes i feel selfish for sticking around and that sounds so awful and i’m not gonna act on it but i just feel like a waste of a person #the last week has been so good and now i’m just a fucking mess and i feel so fucking guilty about that :)#i feel like no matter what i always just default to miserable #i don’t feel like i’m doing enough at all #i’m struggling in school i don’t work enough i can barely take care of myself #like i wouldn’t even properly take care of myself if taylor wasn’t helping me i feel so guilty about that all the time #i feel so guilty for even thinking any of this right now and i’m trying to remind myself that i’m unmedicated and i’ve had a long day #and my best fucking friend just went back home and i’m allowed to be sad about that but i just. feel like i’m making excuses i guess #it’s not immoral to be sad but maybe when i’m wanting to die all the time i’m the problem. idk #anyway i’m gonna go to sleep and i’m gonna try to convince myself tomorrow will be better #sndnsksjkakejdkalwosjhdkwosjdjsk. i will be fine

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aria0fgold · 4 months

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I just realized that I've gotten old enough that my old habit of waking up and immediately going about my day will not work anymore because of the risk of low blood pressure resulting in fainting.

#aria rants #earlier today i woke up with the urge to pee. so i just opened my eyes and then got up immediately with no pause #speedwalked to the bathroom then did my business there but as i sat there i could feel it again. and i was like: ohfuck #i had to quickly finish up then speedwalked again to my room to immediately lie down cuz if i spent another second #out of bed im gonna have a bad time. and then i could feel my heart struggling to catch up from just on the verge #of slowing down to beating normally cuz it was a quick action from my heart noticing the low blood pressure to my brain #to suddenly being provided just the right amount and i was lying there like: would a handstand help speed this process up #like back then when i was attending school. my mom would wake me up and then id just get up right after cuz i was like:#if i stay laying down i might end up sleeping again so better to get up alrdy. and also cuz i had a strict schedule #so waking up is the very start of it and i gotta just get going once that happens but now if i try to do smth like that #my body hates it and immediately punishes me for it so now i gotta spend a few mins just lying there after waking up

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possumkingluca · 6 months

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finally listened to will wood's explanation of tomcat disposables after just... not doing that (i don't have an excuse i listened to it multiple times just never actually went and got the full story) and uh yeah i get it now sorry for being late to the sob fest guys WHAT THE FUCK i am never going to recover from this actually

#william woodiam why do you hurt me this way :(#:(((((#“Is there cheese in the great beyond? Rinds of parmesan” ????#“Not one bite smaller or lesser than yours” ????????#“Do I belong in right and wrong? Nature I guess” ????#“My dreams were finally reality My struggles had a happy ending They must want to be friends” ????#“My stomach starts to turn With thirst why does it hurt?” ????#“So I stumble back to bed Something's not quite right Guess I'll just go rest my head” ????#“Now as I lay me down to sleep I expect no dreams And no sweet goodbye to me” ???#“Flatline in the morning light I held on so tight For so long it's just not right” ????#SIR......#I am going to VOMIT.........#i didn't know the story behind it and I didn't understand why people were crying over it............... but now........ NOW........#i've yet to cry over a song but god damn this might be the one that breaks me #“Is there cheese in the great beyond? Rinds of parmesan” and “They must want to be friends” hurt me the most i think actually #will wood #in case i make it #tomcat disposables #possum rambles

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bunnyb34r · 5 months

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Being disabled makes even the most mundane tasks soooo much fun (:

I love having to take 2 hours to change my sheets and not having energy to change them for far longer than I should

#what really sucks is that i had to stop after stripping the bed to shower bc i dusted (icky) and i felt great! i showered standing up!!#which is a huge thing bc i usually HAVE to sit but i stood and i felt normal! then i finish putting the new shit on and im struggling to #catch my breath and i feel so tired and like i need to lay down 🙄 why body...#i still have to put everything back in my nest but the basics are there like my pillows but i cant put bean and the bbs in their bed bc i #cant find the pillowcase i specifically brought up for them and until i find that theyre rolled into a baby blanket #i have other things to do today body! come on!!#i wanted to tidy up a bit but god im just so drained...#also we JUST took down the tree and all our decorations TODAY so 😩 at least im not the only one here like this... but still it's #annoying ... like ugh #marquilla

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genderfluidgothwitch · 1 year

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Nothing like having my sleep schedule completely disrespected

#my mil knows I sleep late. she doesn't know exactly how late but she knows I'm usually still asleep when she leaves for work at 8:30 #today she decided to answer the phone at 6:45 am and put it on speaker right outside my door #side note: it was my husband that called her so I'm not blaming him #but then I had really bad dry mouth so I went out into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water and lay back down #a few minutes later she comes to my door and asks to bum a cig off me #and then she has the nerve to tell me to go back to sleep after #as if I wasn't awake because of her in the first place #so that aggravated me and now I'm struggling sleeping and I can't even do weed about it

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munamania · 1 year

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things have not been normal. im so tired.

#i nap all the fucking time cause im so tired and my body is like making me get rest one way or another but then i wake up #and everything is still just waaagghghghggh you know. i am fucking sick of it!#i am not just a normal amount of tired i have been on the verge of shutdown since at least mid semester hanging on by a fucking #pinky nail like im going to be fucking insane. i NEED a break. if i need to check into a psych place to have that happen so be it #one way or another yall will leave me ALONE.#tired of people holding it over my head like when they've done shit lately esp when it's bc of how badly ive been fucking struggling #im not just being lazy!!!! im losing it!!!!! and that makes me feel like i cant reach out or rely on others cause i'll always fucking owe #them something or im always gonna be on thin ice in potentially fucking things up #like i need two seconds to get back to myself i need time to reconnect i cant fucking do this anymore #i love myself i dont like how im acting rn bc im just desperately in need of a break #and god yeah fucking arent we all but i need someone to see that it's bad and just. Be with that. not shame me or make me feel like shit #or fucking less of a person or like i need to like Bring it down a notch or whatever idfk.#just kind of saying things now. i need to journal and cry i think.#abby talks #i dont LIKE napping my days away i dont like not having time to do things i enjoy other than like laying around watching stuff #or being on my phone but i have genuinely not had it in me to do anything else.#anyway. i think i seriously need to be okay with being 'meaner' aka just prioritizing MY feelings and being ok if people r mad at me #cause it honestly feels like ive gaslit myself so many times into thinking im crazy to the point where i struggle in the most basic #situations. uggggghh.

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n0ct0urn1quet · 2 years

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god it feels like everyone i know has been sick in some way within like the past week or so. i got sick n threw up Twice on friday, my mom was queasy n nauseous n kinda ill after that, my mom's boyfriend's daughter had a fever, my girlfriend has a fever and is still fairly ill as far as im aware (i havent heard from her At All today and she was very very very very low energy yesterday and kinda jus spent the whole day in bed so i have no doubt that thats what she prolly did today as well . prolly hasnt said anything to me all day bc idk maybe her phone died n she doesnt have the energy to get up n charge it or something KJASJLKLJKG). everyone's been SICK and it SUCKS!!!!!!

#i have no doubt my mom's bf is gonna fuckin come down with covid or some shit #or like my sister's gonna be sick or somthgin. good god #i mean ok i wasnt really SICK sick i just had a weird throwing up thing that happened . it was just still so weird i dont even know what #caused it. because like #the night before i was feeling kinda queasy kinda ill kinda sickly but i jus thought it was cramps or jus tummy ache #i wake up the next morning n my stomach Hurts n it just feels Weird n im jus kinda laying there at 7am wondring if im gona puke n then im #like. well ill just get up go shower n come n lay back down. so i get up n i get into the shower n after a bit im like ok i feel . slightly #better so im gonna get out. and. i get out and i start getting dressed and i jus kinda stopped and im like. okay no im gonna throw up #so i get out n go into the livingroom to tell mom and i just. yeah. right onto the floor. eugh #i dont know what caused it. mom didnt know what cuased it. it just kinda came up n out i guess #it wasnt a lot n it was all liquid with like a chunk or two of whatever i ate the night before so like #i dont know what caused it. at all. bc we all had the same dinner last night n drank the same stuff #so i dont know why i threw up when no one else Did . very very strange #right before fuckin tahnksgiving too thanksgiving is the day after tomorow and im STILL struggling to eat a lot after it #my stomach had shriveled its about the size of a shriveled up golf ball rn and i havent thrown up but i can barely eat simply because like #ill make soup. ill eat like 4 spoonfulls of it and then im just Full bc thats all my stomach can FIT #and its almost thanksgiving!!!!! The Food Day!!!!!!!! and im juts like <:(((((#i want turkeyyyyy and mash potato :((((( green been and fruit slad :(((((( and pie :((((((#and so now im all worried about if i eat too much if im gonna throw up again AKJJKSKLLJKKBG #I HOPE I DONT. ID BE SO SAD IF I DO ANd also it would suck becaus no one likes throwing up. BUT ANYWAYS #sorry ig november is just The Sick Month. everyone's got something going on rn. we are all Going Through It as some would say

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sukunas-wife · 6 months

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Being Sukuna’s Pregnant Wife and being worshipped as a diety because you were able to conceive the four armed hulking cursed child, you must have the blessing of fertility

Having a shrine erected in your name because barren women believed you’d bless them with fertility despite your legacy starting with the child of the curse that torments them all

Telling your hand maids “Don’t bring me my clothes, bring me one of the kings robes.” The hand maids flinching and wanting to protest out of fear of taking the King of Curses robes

The poor naive young hand maid that had grown a crush on the king excitedly rushing if it meant she could enter the private bed chambers,

Scoffing with a malicious smile to your loyal maids when they shook their heads with Sympathy, they learned long before at such a request it would be foolish to go alone, at least 2 or 3 of them would need to go in your name, preferably the ones your husband recognized to be by your side the longest. But you didn’t like this new girl, she was too enthusiastic to work at the palace only to have a complete change in character when she learned she was assigned to work for you

“It’ll serve that poor girl right” you looked away from the door when your loyal hand maids brought out a wooden box with one of Sukuna’s folded Kimono’s they helped you dress your swollen belly accentuated by the belt the kimono tailored to fit your husband left you with extra space and length, it was far more comfortable then the Kimono’s and robes you were, the lingering smell of your husband with comforting as your rubbed your belly hands barely peeking from the massive sleeves

“Let’s go see my husband.” Was all you said as you started your walk, the maids followed close as you made it to the bed chambers, the door was open, you looked in, Sukuna sneering down at the girl laying in a pool of blood, Uraume was making quick work of the mess

Sukuna’s snapped to you and his arm’s opening in an unusual display of affection, you walked around the mess to reach him, he pulled you into his left side, one hand on your waist the other making you face him, bring his right hand up he rested his hand on your stomach “Some of your maids need a lesson on how to speak to their king,” he looked away from your face to your stomach as he started to move his hands in circles “So swollen with my child, it’s no wonder you send your maids to steal my robes.”

You smack his shoulder with a playful smile and he chuckled “Don’t say it like that you make me feel bigger than i am.”

“Now,” he looked up at your face again, “why are you here.”

You tilted your head to the side, “I started contractions this morning, I’ve been in pain all day and I’m barely standing, my new maid wouldn’t stop speaking so highly of my husband accomplishing having a child when I was at my worst pain level getting ready to push out YOUR child that I HAD to carry. Anyhow I came to get you because he is ready to come.”

Sukuna stared down at you confused “How do you know it’s a boy?”

“I’m his mother,” he watched as you placed your hand over his stilling his rubbing of your stomach, “I knew he was a boy from the day your seed took.”

Sukuna smirked “Is that so? Then let’s see this boy.”

🖤❤️❤️❤️🖤❤️❤️❤️🖤❤️❤️❤️🖤❤️❤️❤️🖤

After an hour of fighting the doctor tending to your birth you gave birth to your lively son, born screaming without needing stimulation to cry form the doctor. Your husband couldn’t help but laugh when he saw his child in his full glory, he was a boy indeed.

The help immediately gave you your son and you cooed at him when he took to your breast, your husband taking blankets from the maids and covered your son also covering you in the process as you struggled a bit to pass what came next. Your son a spitting image of his father, your breathy laugh caught Sukuna’s attention as he came back to your bed side stroking your hair and rubbing your stomach the way the help had been doing.

“What amuses you?” He watched his son slowly close his eyes as you coddled him closer.

“I’m the one who had to carry him for so long, and the ingrate took nothing from me.” You smiled and shook your head before looking up at Sukuna.

Soon the doctor left after clearing you of any possible issues and checking your son. “His name?” You looked at Sukuna and he sighed “Yuji”

The look of adoration in your eyes was something Sukuna would’ve wanted to capture forever if he could express the sentiment. However for now he’d settle for memorizing every detail of today. His wife birthing his first heir, the name she had chosen he permitted.

Maybe just maybe this world wasn’t so bad

#sukuna x you #sukuna ryomen #jjk anime #sukuna x reader #daddy sukuna

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his-tamine · 6 months

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werewolf partner who is terrified of turning around you because they're not sure how much control they'll lack in wolf-form. They make you chain them up in the basement, lock the door, and arm yourself with a gun just in case. Finally the time comes, and you're ready. You expect to hear growling and thrashing, or some sort of vicious struggle. But you only hear faint whimpers. You decide to go downstairs to see what's up, and there you find them, in their wolf form - ears back, head down, looking sad and scared. You approach, and still, no aggression.

After a few moments, you even decide to sit next to them. They lean in cautiously to sniff you, their eyes lighting up as they seem to recognize your scent. They immediately scoot over and lay their gigantic head in your lap, still whimpering and shaking - clearly seeking comfort from you. You expected a ferocious monster from how they'd warned you, but instead, you essentially got a giant puppy. You gently stroke and cuddle your werewolf until they fall asleep on you. Exhausted from all the previous excitement, and not wanting to leave them scared and alone, you fall asleep too. You're awoken in the morning by them - back in human form - shaking you in a panic. They found you lying next to them in a pile of fur, and thought that something had happened - that you were dead. They're glad to be wrong, as you rub the sleep from your eyes. When they find out what all actually happened, they're extremely relieved, but a little embarrassed.

#monster x human #monster smut #monster boyfriend #monster lover #huge monster #monster romance #monster girlfriend #monster love #monster bf #monster fluff #monster girl #monster boy #monster kink #monster x reader

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chatsukimi · 15 days

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ᴄᴏᴜʀᴛɪɴɢ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ

featuring: protective!heian!sukuna, kindhearted!servant!reader. slight angst/hurt -> comfort. synopsis: you're sick. to your surprise, you're rescued by the man second closest to death himself. masterlist

you should've known he wouldn't come. sukuna has never set foot in the servant's headquarters in his life, let alone to chase after a sick servant. you lower your head, trying to ease the headache that has plagued you through the day.

sukuna loves his bloodshed and his gore. him and death would be good friends, you think to yourself. he wouldn't care if your body was burnt or buried, you think to yourself; wouldn't care if you died at all.

the room the others put you in is empty. ash spreads neatly over the cold floor. the scent of kibble haunts the atmosphere. it's where they put the dogs before sukuna killed them.

ever since you took care of the king of curses while he was sick, the other servants had been careful in keeping a distance from you. not in ill of heart; they're simply terrified at what you must've done to survive in your week long stay with the monster. honestly, you don't blame them.

but now when you're laying on the freezing ground, struggling to breathe, it's hard not to.

'this is where you live?'

your eyes look up. shock. then, with all the strength you can muster, you heave yourself one step away from the man at the doorway, which only serves to piss him off more.

sukuna ryomen, in all his glory, looks down at you. bending down to pick you up like a limp doll to be seated against the wall, he seems to revel in his regained strength. you can't help but feel happy for him, to have survived this fatal disease. not many men can attest to that...

then again, he is no ordinary man.

'i asked you a question.'

you nod, a small thing, barely a movement. he seems to clench his teeth.

he takes off his long white coat, flaunting a layer of dried blood, and drapes it over your shoulders.

yet it doesn't end there. he retrieves from his pocket a bottle of what looks to be a golden syrup.

you know exactly what it is.

he takes your hand and wraps it around the flask, making you hold it, sparing, not one, but two of his eyes, to stare at you, making sure you do as he commands.

'swallow.'

you shake your head. you know he's asking you to do. this is a medication is so rare for your disease that no sorcerer has found in over a hundred years. he's brought this thing of myth right to your very lips. now he's asking you to drink it, and thus take away any chance of it saving anyone else's life.

you scowl, but the tickling sensation in your throat grows stronger, eventually erupting out of your mouth in a harsh cough. you look away from sukuna.

'leave,' you whisper, weakly. 'don't wanna infect you.'

'i survived the illness already. i've developed an immunity.'

you shake your head again. you couldn't threaten your king's health with your own weakness. you just couldn't.

'i can't take this.'

he growls. without any notice, he swallows your lips in a kiss. in the momentary haze, you could hardly resist, fisting the front of his kimono to ground yourself. then, you feel something sweet, honey-ish, hit your tongue.

with his hand locked on your chin, it forces you to swallow.

you pull back, pushing him away. he groans.

he wipes his mouth, still with two eyes staring.

no... no, why did he do that?

'y-you- how? no... why did you waste it on me?' you whisper, desperately searching his face for an answer. 'i'm just a servant. you could've given it to a princess, or a scholar, or priest-'

he grabs you by the arm and forces you into his arms. its heat astounds you, and you find yourself crawling closer. a vague thumping sound seems to press against your ear-

oh. you calm your breathing.

it's his heartbeat.

alive.

'sleep in my room tonight,' he demands.

what did he say? you strain your mind, trying to replay what he said earlier. no... maybe you heard correctly.

'but i'm no concubine,' you respond, instantly.

his arm supports your waist, helping you up effortlessly to your feet. he then directs two of his eyes to the doorway, his cadence low and domineering.

'it doesn't matter.'

he leads you placidly through the servant's quarters. you notice all conversation cease at your entry, bodies dropping into a low bow. a small voice in you whispers that it's where you should be too. you tug at sukuna's arm.

'i'm only a servant, sukuna.'

you know what it looks like, a servant clutching onto a man, more god than human. a man who has slaughtered villages, blood staining the base of his kimono crimson, and turned half a province on its head, just to save you.

'whatever you are in my eyes is what you are to the world,' he states, his expression unchanging. 'if i deem you a queen, that is who you are.'

exiting the servant compound, you know you can't say no- not like you wanted to. the wide expanse of his chest is comforting.

yet however sweet this feeling remains, you can't help but gulp. perhaps this is the closest a human has ever come to courting death.

#ryomen sukuna x reader #sukuna ryomen #jjk #jjk sukuna #jjk x reader #jujutsu sukuna #sukuna x reader #sukuna x you #ryomen sukuna #sukuna fluff #ryomen x reader #jjk fluff #sukuna angst

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oceantornadoo · 3 months

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bad day (simon riley x reader, best friends to lovers)

honestly, you should have seen it coming. staying in a safe house with four men who have never ending stomachs? but today, it was the last straw.

“you ate my last cookie?”

soap’s face dropped, jaw open. your voice was on the verge of breaking, tears forming in your eyes. you never showed this much vulnerability in front of the team, and he was flabbergasted. he shot a look at gaz, who was equally as confused. “‘m sorry, bonnie, i didnae ken-“ you pushed your hands on the table, shoving your chair back and out. “it’s ok. gonna take a nap.” you were wiping your eyes furiously, feeling unstable. first you got your period four days early (asking price to add pads to the shopping list was something you never wanted to experience again), then you couldn’t find your heating pad, and now your cookies were out? maybe it was the hormones, but you were done.

“oof.” you had ran into a thick wall. scratch that, the wall was moving. your vision was blurred by tears you refused to shed that you didn’t even realize it was your closest friend ghost. “dove?” you hiccuped. why did he always have to be so nice to you? gruff and mean-sounding to everyone else, but an avid listener and sweet talker when it came to you. “jus’ trying to get to my room, didn’t see you. sorry l.t..” you tried to maneuver around him, but unfortunately a 6’4 machine of a man did not move easily.

“why you cryin’, baby?” shit, simon did not mean to call you that. he did not want to have this conversation right now, especially when you looked like you were about to break down. you were always so strong, having to work ten times harder as a woman in the military, and he was always careful to not undermine you or your struggles. unfortunately, that landed him firmly in the friendzone for the past year, unable to confess his feelings without breaking your trust. he maneuvered you to the closest room, which happened to be his. he sat down on the bed, intending to sit you down next to him, but instead you still stood, walking in between his parted legs.

“‘m sorry, just on my period and everything hurts and it’s all hitting at once.” your eyes were red, avoiding his. he could see you were in pain, and as someone who had endured enemy torture and the hardest forms of training, his heart never hurt as much as it did now. he reached a gloved hand towards your face, brushing away your tears. his other hand came to your lower belly, rubbing circles over your clothes. “shhh, ‘s okay. you wanna sit down?” you shook your head in disagreement. you felt like a child, but you were never allowed to be weak outside of your own room. for some reason today, you let simon riley see you weak.

you walked around his body and laid on top of his covers, curling into a fetal position. he let you get comfy, finding a way to lay down that lessened your cramps. finally, you were done moving. “si?” you never called him that unless you absolutely needed him. he got up and locked the door, not wanting to disturb your peace. “yeah, baby?” might as well use it now, you hadn’t complained. if anything your face softened when he said it, and simon riley would die a thousand deaths just to see a moment of relief on your face. “will you lay with me?”

he eagerly stripped out of his gear, climbing on top of his bed to lay down with you. he placed a hand on your arm, letting you choose where you wanted him. you dragged his hand under your sweatshirt, using it like a heating pad for your cramps. you let out a soft moan of pleasure and he answered it with a low growl, pulling you into him by the stomach. his thumb caressed your bare skin with small circles, memorizing every dip and valley. he strived to commit the moment to memory, not knowing if you’d ever be this vulnerable again. “feel better, dove?” you nodded, finally succumbing to sleep that had evaded you the past night. he smiled under his mask, placing a small kiss to the back of your head.

finally you were at peace, and all because of him.

#simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #cod 141 #fluff #ghost call of duty #tornadothoughts #best friends to lovers #period cramps #john soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #captain john price

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ohdeerfully · 4 months

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alastor request HAI can it be based on the fact that alastor doesn't sleep, and it's his lover finding out that petting his ears during cuddling makes him fall asleep.

thank you for your service

yess i love sleepy alastor thank u so much anon :D!!

Goodmorning, Love

Alastor x Reader (fluff) TW: none! join my discord! ═══ ◈ ══════════ ◈ ══════════ ◈ ══════════ ◈ ═══

You were well aware of the Radio Demon’s sleep habits. Or, well, lack of sleep habits. You often spent nights in his room, where he would sit with you in bed until you fell asleep and go do whatever the hell he gets up to late at night. You always woke up in an empty room, and often so in the middle of the night, struggling to rest again as a greedy tightness gripped your chest in worry and disappointment.

You understood, though, and tried your best not to let it get to you that you didn’t have his warm body next to you when you woke every morning. But you couldn’t help that twinge of sadness. You weren’t particularly needy or clingy, but would it kill him to stay in bed with you for a single night? And to have a slice of domestic bliss as you woke up?

Obviously.

You roll your eyes as you lay, staring up at the ceiling. You had just gotten ready for bed, and now waited for said demon to join you for a few hours. Your fingers tapped, impatient, against your chest as you hummed absentmindedly.

“How lovely,” You heard him speak. Tickles of that radio static that always followed him clung to your exposed skin, which was signal enough that he had entered the room had he not announced himself. “What a siren you are, luring me here with that hum of yours.”

You smiled slightly at his comment, scooching over slightly to encourage him over. He obliged, joining you under the covers. He still wore his usual outfit, which made sense considering his tendency to go away all night. You purse your lips at the thought, slightly chewing on the skin.

“Why the face?” Of course he noticed your expression. He always noticed when any emotion tickled your face. You appreciated the genuine tone in his voice, the typical buzz of radio barely detectable in his words. He always got a little softer and kinder when he was alone with you like this.

You appreciated nights with him, being able to see a side of him that nobody else would live to spread word of. You enjoyed feeling a little special, especially to somebody like him.

“Do you think you could stay in,” You asked cautiously, fiddling with your hands as you inched closer to him, pressing your body against his. Even laying, he still seemed much taller than you. You gingerly guided his head down, against your chest as you spoke, hoping the multitasking would keep him from sitting up and rejecting your intimate gestures. “Just for a night. I miss you all night long.”

He allowed his head to lay against you. He did feel tense, of course, letting the back of his head be exposed in this manner as he lay vulnerable on you. It was a strange feeling, but not one he cared to consider for too long.

“(Y/N),” He began with a sigh. “It’s impossible for me to get much done during the day, what with all the running around Charlie does. Somebody has to keep an eye on that young princess. I prefer to stay awake to get my own errands done at night.”

I know that, you wanted to say and interrupt his explanatory ramble. You wanted to beg him to understand, just this once. You held in a sigh, watching as his head gently rose and fell with every breath you took. Maybe you should just take this submission from him as good enough.

You gingerly began tangling your fingers through his red hair, brushing out any kinks he may have gotten throughout the day. His tense body seemed to ease slightly, becoming more and more relaxed as you weaved your fingers through the locks.

“You have really soft hair, Al,” You commented, changing the subject. You figured there was no use convincing him. You let your fingers lightly trail upwards, up to his ears. You grazed them slightly with a finger. You touched again. When he made no motion of dislike, you fully began rubbing them. Petting him. You smiled to yourself at the idea of petting the feared Radio Demon. “And your ears are even softer.”

“I try to take care of myself,” He responded proudly. There was another hint of something in his voice, but you couldn’t quite place what it was. But it seemed heavy. “A well groomed man is a successful one.” You absentmindedly agreed as you stroked the velvety fur of his ears, switching back and forth between them and his hair. You had a preference for the ears, though.

You sighed and began humming quietly again. He rarely got so… comfortable, even around you. He always had some sort of guard up, always had his shoulders squared. He almost never became so… loose and vulnerable.

You noticed the clippings of radio frequency had stopped, which was a noise that was ever present in his wake. You had a suspicion why it disappeared, a small grin forming on your face.

Yes, the Radio Demon never slept. But that was a choice he made, not a curse that prevented him. Even demons get tired. You don’t know how Alastor makes it day by day without a wink of rest, but it was apparent that exhaustion had built up in him. He just needed to relax for a second.

You graced your fingers over his fringe, and craned your neck in a way to get a glance at his face. Yeah, you were right.

He laid there, eyes shut, features relaxed with the lightest grin playing on his face. Even in sleep, you complained. It didn’t really matter. What mattered was the sound of his deep, slow breathing and occasional twitch of his velvety ears. You briefly wondered what the Radio Demon would dream about.

Would he be aggravated with you when he woke up, realizing you had practically cast a sleep spell on him? You didn’t, but the rate of which exhaustion took over may as well have been some sort of magic.

You shut your own heavy eyes, exhaling lightly as you continued to comfort yourself with the texture of his fur and hair. It didn’t take long for you to fall asleep.

You craned your arms and neck as consciousness came back to you, but an unfamiliar weight kept you from getting that good stretch in. Momentarily confused, you blinked open and looked down.

Red and black hair, more of a mess than usual, still took place on your torso. This was a first, and your chest felt like exploding with the glee of seeing Alastor still resting with you. He somehow looked even more relaxed than the night before, his cheek flush against your stomach, squishing his lips up slightly. A light grin was still there.

You gently brushed your fingers over his face, trailing a line around his features with an index finger. His eyes squeezed for a moment, and that static ambience of his slowly, quietly, returned. It was a noise that you had learned to find comfort in. He slowly opened his red eyes, a confused and sleepy daze clouding them. There was a wrinkle in his brow as he roughly propped himself up with an elbow, looking up at you with a furrowed expression.

“(Y/N)..?” He trailed, pausing to take in a shuddering morning yawn through a confused smirk. “Did I… Dear, what time is it?”

You looked at him tenderly. Oh, how cute he was, sleepy like this. Composed like an exhausted kid. Something even you have never seen before.

“Yeah,” You responded to his unspoken question. “It’s probably seven a.m. or so. I dunno.” There wasn’t a clock in your immediate line of sight.” “A.m. …” He said slowly. He sat up fully, looking down in disappointment at his wrinkled day wear. He quickly blinked the sleep from his eyes and managed to bring some composure to himself, but that lick of exhaustion was still prominent. Especially under his eyes.

“Yeah,” You said again, a light chuckle following. “Goodmorning, Al.”

He wasn’t obviously upset, it seemed. Though he probably was too tired to think about it too much yet. Maybe later.

“Well… Goodmorning, love.” He responded, still with a hint of confusion in his voice. “I suppose I accepted your plea from last night.” He brushed at his clothes while he spoke, trying to flatten out the creases that were brought on through a night of rest.

“Maybe more often?” You asked, twiddling your thumbs in anticipation. You already knew the answer, but it was okay. You knew how to keep him in now. You mischievously smirked as he closed his eyes and shook his head.

“Unlikely.”

#alastor #alastor x reader #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #ohdeerfully #alastor is eepy #fluff

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postmortemnivis · 3 months

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no grave can hold my body down, i'll crawl home to her.

simon really meant it, every bit of it, he’d come back to you somehow. he would find his way back to you. wether it was walking through the front door quietly not to wake you up in the middle of the night or cold in a coffin. he’d rather have you hold his dead body than not to have you touch his skin ever again.

that’s what simon was thinking about as his ear ringed so loud he couldn’t focus on his surroundings. he looked up at the sky, so blue it almost didn’t feel right. why so blue when so much blood was being shed?

he occasionally would feel the ground he was laying on tremble, maybe a hand grenade, maybe a body falling next to his. the smell of gunpowder filled his covered nostrils and he could feel his lungs collapsing on themselves from the thickness of the air he was breathing. his eyes weren’t doing good either, filled with dust and sand from the dry earth.

it took him a few more seconds to focus his eyes on something, something that possibly wasn’t moving, his head spinning each time he tried to sit up. something was weighting on his legs, holding him down. he struggled to raise his torso and groaned at the sight of a large body blocking him. he let himself fall back down.

he was ready to go, a sharp pain to his side telling him he wouldn’t last long alone. he’d been through worse, way worse, the scar provided by the meat hook was proof of that, but something was telling him this was as bad. he was ready to go.

the only thing he could think about in his last moments was you. he thought he could see glimpses of you, maybe your hair in the corner of his eyes or he’d hear your laugh as another fire shooting started. his eyes searched for you frantically. he wanted to tell you to leave immediately, scream it at the top of his lungs, but his voice was caught in his throat and you weren’t really there. his mind just playing cruel tricks on him.

your name was repeated like a mantra in his head, repeating it so many times it almost lost a meaning. almost. a prayer, a chant. he sure needed to pray, for you.

he had been shelving the thought that tormented him for months. he wanted to go and confess his sins, he almost felt the need, his palms itching with haste anytime he thought about it. years had passed since the last time he had set foot in a church, so many that he had almost forgotten the reason for the visit. the ghosts of the past never abandon you, especially if they are people you love, especially if they are family, the innocent. its always the innocent who pay the highest price.

‘i wonder what she’s doing now, who’s gonna knock on her door and tell her im gone.’ he thought. ‘hopefully price. he’s the one with tact and the most considerate. he’ll help her when i’m gone, keep an eye on her.’

the sweet smell of your hair replaced for a moment the one of blood and gunpowder, your laughter still echoing in his ears. he pictured your sweet face and big innocent eyes looking up at him.

“promise me something?”

“mhm?” he hummed, surprised you were still up. his hand hadn’t stopped caressing your hair since you laid down on his chest, your hand resting on his collarbone as your ear listened to his calm heartbeat. “yeah, anything.”

“promise me you’ll always come back.” you whispered in the dark room. “promise me, simon.”

he nodded, taken aback by your request. you weren’t the fondest of his job, he knew it, he hated to concern you like he did.

“yes.”

“promise.” you urged. “please.”

he bent his head down and kissed the top of yours, his arm sliding down your back and drawing you closer by your waist. “i will, love. i’ll always come back to you.”

you sighed, the knot of thoughts in your worried head began to untie. “mh.”

“better now?” he softly asked. his voice was hoarse from his constant shouting orders at the obstreperous recruits. you gave a short nod. “i mean it.”

he groaned as he managed to get the body off of himself, struggling to get on his knees.

fucks sake, he couldn’t let you live with him gone like this. it was selfish of him to leave you in such an abrupt way, really. he tried to push away the image of you opening the door to find price with a carton box filled with simons stuff from the barracks with the balaclava and skull mask on top and your knees hitting the floor before he could even say anything.

his legs didn’t feel like they could hold his weight up, he immediately fell to his knees as he heard another rapid fire too near him for his liking. his gun was long gone, he had to manage to survive alone, again.

“crawlin’ it is.” he breathed as he started to drag his tired body with the strength of his arms alone. you had always praised his strength: he could lift you with one arm alone, you loved to be held and hold on to his arm anywhere and at anytime. that was the main reason he always pushed for more while training, and the motivation your sweet compliments always gave him now were gonna save his life. he made a mental note to kiss and hold you a little longer and tighter if he ever made it home alive.

he could see the building his team was supposed to meet up in case things got bad. it looked so far away that it was alarmingly close. maybe it was just his messed up vision, a mirage, but he could swear he saw you from a window looking at him, urgently motioning him to come.

he brought the thick balaclava above his nose so he could breathe better and as enemy gunfire continued to flow, he kept his head low as he moved dead bodies from his way.

he could hear your voice calling for him and he wanted to call you for you back, but the noises of the battlefield were hurrying him to get to the safe zone first.

he stumbled by the door as he brought himself up, one hand stabilizing him as he held on to the doorframe as the other went to press on his wound.

“lt!” johnnys voice called before he rushed to help him. “ye cheeky bastard, i told them not to leave yet, to wait for ye.”

“gaz saw you get shot.” price swung simon’s arm over his shoulder in order to help him to the nearest table, where he laid down.

“he saw that right.” simon bit the inside of his cheek as price inspected his wound, pressing on it. “is he a‘ight?”

“he’s fine, hit his head but had his helmet on, he’s getting checked out by the medics.” price informed him as simon winced at the sharp pain. “there’s at least two bullets in here, didn’t pass through, stuck.”

“just take ‘em the fuck out.” simon groaned. “how’s it lookin’?”

“you’ll live.” price patted his shoulder in comfort before he went to call a medic.

“we really thought we’d lost ye there, lt.” johnny’s face was glowing with sweat and blood, the black war paint smudged messily all around his face and his mohawk dusted.

“helicopter’s leaving in thirty, boys!” price’s baritone voice called from the other room.

simon scoffed, sighing and closing his eyes, finally letting himself relax as your figure started to fade from the corner of the room where it’d been standing, silently looking at him. “won’t lose me, can’t wait to go home, johnny.”

#simon ghost riley #simon riley x you #simon riley #simon riley x reader #simons a loverboy at heart #simon is not ghost

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millyhelp · 4 months

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Jason had just woken up. the large arm stretched out so he could pull you by the waist and snuggle you into him. Your side of the bed was empty and cold. Your cell phone wasn't on the nightstand.

Where are you?

Panic broke out in Jason's mind, making the post-sleep haze disappear. You never wake up before him.

Jason stood up with only his black Versace underwear on his body. He went to the bathroom, you weren't there, he went to the office and you weren't there. He always kept weapons hidden around the apartment and this was a time when he picked up a 9mm that was under a corner table in the apartment's hallway.

"Where are you?..." Jason's voice sounded shaky. His hands were tight on the gun in his hands.

He went to the kitchen and walked through the living room, guest room, you were nowhere to be found.

Did she leave me? Could it be that she abandoned me? What did I do wrong?

Jason ran his hands through his hair. No sign of you. Not your purse, not your keys, nothing. For a moment he thought you were just a dream, but no, the nail marks that burned on his back and the hickeys along his chest and abs proved otherwise.

The sound of the door unlocking made him alert at the front door. It opened and there you were. A sigh of relief left Jason's lips. He ran over to you and pulled you towards him.

"Jay-oh, hey..." The bags that were in your hand fell to the floor and you struggled to close the door and hug Jason then. Thick tears that Jason had no idea he was shedding before you arrived wet your shoulder.

"Where-" a sob left Jason's lips "Where were you?"

"I just went to buy things to make you lunch, babe..." You ran your hands welcomingly along Jason's back. He was holding you tight to his body. "You were sleeping so peacefully that I didn't want to wake you up."

her smell. she is here. she didn't leave. I'm not alone. it's her. she is here.

"I'm here now, it's okay." You kissed his neck sweetly and he whimpered. "I'm here..."

"Dont leave me... please..." he whispered

"i won't. im sorry for not waking you up." Jason looked into your eyes. The arms were still around you, you felt cold metal on your back. "What is that?"

Jason remembered he still had the pistol in his hand. He showed you and you looked at him in surprise.

"I thought someone took you from me." The face, red and wet with tears, spoke with melancholy. "I would kill anyone who tried to take you from me."

your heart pounded in your chest. He really thought someone had taken you or that you were gone. You took the bags in your hands. "Come with me. Let's leave this in the kitchen and I'll go back to bed with you, put that gun away, it's not necessary." You said sweetly and kissed Jason's cheek.

Jason nodded. He still had one hand on your waist, he wasn't going to let you go anywhere soon.

you walked to the kitchen and placed the bags on the counter. Jason put the gun next to the things and hugged you from behind while you took the things you bought out of the bag.

his large slender fingers caressed your belly while he watched you attentively and in silence taking things away. Jason's thoughts were lost on you and only you. the way you moved, everything about you gave him peace of mind, his mind wasn't an enemy when you were present.

"a penny for your thoughts." You said with a smile on your lips.

"You."

"Me?" You giggled and felt Jason nod and then felt him rest his chin on your left shoulder.

"Yes." He whispered. "What will you do?"

"a brazilian dish. feijoada is the name." You sigh when you manage to finish taking everything out of the bags.

"hmm." Jason mutters. "can we go to bed now?"

you took Jason's hand and guided him to the bedroom. You only realized that he was only in his underwear when you took off your dress and lay down in just your bra and panties.

You opened your arms to Jason and he buried his face in the middle of your breasts. "Would you kill a kidnapper with just your underwear on?"

"Mhm..." He muttered and you giggled. Jason squeezed your hips, pulling you closer, if that was possible.

"Don't ever do that again..." he said quietly "Never leave again without at least telling me, please..."

"I promise." You kissed Jason's forehead and he buried his face in the valley of your breasts again.

he was finally at peace again and could go back to having a peaceful sleep while in your arms.

#millyhelp thoughts~#jason todd #jason todd fluff #jason todd angst #jason todd x reader #jason todd oneshot #red hood x reader #jason todd smut

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rafeysdoll · 2 months

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rafe picking you up from a night out with your friends after you’ve had a bit too much to drink

ohhhh this is so so rafe coded hehe thank u for requesting i hope u like it <3 there is dad calling!! there is a also slight size difference mentioned here i think? i made reader more tipsy than drunk since it does get a bit heated towards the end lol but rafe still calls it “drunk”

you whimper, rafe walking you outside the bar after you said your goodbyes, practically tripping over your pink platforms. “rafey, slow down!” you cry, the taste of the fruity beverage that got you tipsy still lingering in your mouth.

“want you to carry me,” you hiccup, looking up at him with a faux pout. “my feet hurt.”

“w-well maybe they wouldn’t hurt if.. if you didn’t wear like 10 inch heels,” he exaggerates, still opening his arms for you despite his words. “mm, yeahh but these look so cute!” you giggle, quickly wrapping your arms around his neck and ignoring his ‘annoyance’

“want you to carry me bridal style, daddy. cause.. cause im gonna be your bride one day, right?” you mumble, batting your eyelashes. “gonna give me a baby and.. and a ring and we’ll live.. happily ever after,” you continue softly, heart on your sleeve — so casually talking about your dream.

“course i will doll, in due time.” he promises, slowly lifting you up with no struggle, his handling making your core heat up— one arm underneath your knees and the other on your back. “daddy,” you mewl, heavy shoes dangling. “‘m horny,” you sigh, no shame at how you crave him.

he shakes his head with a small laugh, “you horny baby? what did it for you huh? thinking about the future? being a wife and getting knocked up?”

you whine, nodding. “mhm, you know that’s what i want. wanna be your house wife.. want to have your babies,” you agree, lips formed into a frown. “wanna be full, want you to fuck me.”

“yea, well dad can’t do that right now.. gotta be patient. you’re drunk,” he states in his common, ‘know it all’ tone. “mhm.. mhm.. but i don’t careee, just.. just wanna have sex!” you cry a little louder, rafe’s big hand quickly covering your mouth, glittery lip gloss definitely smeared now.

“shhh, shh. not even in the truck yet and you wanna be talking dirty real loud like that— people.. people can.. hear you, y’know? be quiet.”

a muffled version of “i’m sorry,” leaves your lips, eyes filling with tears.

when he reaches the truck and sits you down, putting your seat belt on before starting to drive back to tannyhill you almost immediately start your whining all over again. “pay attention to me! ‘m right here you know!” you bite, stomping your foot against the car floor, clawing at his bicep.

“hey.. hey, watch it. know you’re drunk but cool it alright? i’m driving, you gotta sober up.” he warns, squeezing your thigh firmly.

you sniffle, grabbing his hand and leading it closer to your heat. “just.. rub a little please? and ‘m tipsy, not drunk!” you protest, laying your head on his arm. “i..i missed you, all the girls were getting upset cause i wouldn’t shut up about you.”

he smirks, that doing it for him and his ego— already feeling himself loosen up as he sneaks his hand in your skirt, rubbing lightly. almost like a reward for depending on him. “that right? can’t stop thinking about rafey even when you’re at girls night?” he mocks. “can’t stop thinking about dick?”

you nod, quickly relaxing against his fingers. “yeah, that’s what i thought. you gonna stay quiet? gonna listen now?”

“mhm.. mhm. course,” you hum, the rest of the car ride spent with rafe driving with one hand as you grind against his other.

thanks to the lovely @oceandriveab and @rafecameroninterlude for proofreading <3

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