Together! <3

I Know You’re Not Far, But I Still Can’t Handle All The Distance

1.8k: hariana friendship rise warning(s): unedited soz just had to get this one out before I overthink

| – | – | – |

“Harry?”

“Yeah?”

“I wanna sing.”

Harry stops playing for a moment so he could hear what Ariana had to say.

“My fans have been wanting me to jump on Instagram Live to sing a few songs but I really can’t handle all that real-time shit. I just want to sing and then dip so I’m just going to record a quick video. I think it’d be a nice surprise to have you join in, finally feed your fans some new content of you.”

“Hmm, I suppose but I won’t sing.”

“Why not? They’ve been wanting some sort of duet for a while, you know.”

“Um, and show the world how rubbish I am singing next to you?”

“You are not rubbish! Have you forgotten our killer duet of ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ when we watched ‘Wayne’s World’?”

“No, I just wanna listen to y’voice. I miss it,” Harry pouts, leaning into his elbow as it rested on the hood of the piano.

“Okay, then, H,” Ariana rolls her eyes, smiling as she fixes herself. “Suppose you’d like a relatively easy song to play. How does ‘My Everything’ sound? For old time’s sake?”

“I Know You’re Not Far, But I Still Can’t Handle All The Distance”

or

The one inspired by an alternate universe where Harry played the piano for Ariana’s 2020 version of ‘My Everything’ while in Quarantine

-:-:-:-

“‘Lo love, how are you?” Harry asks as he fixes his laptop screen, leaning it just right so the light coming from his bedroom window wouldn’t cause such a harsh glare. When it was just right he could see Ariana much better but it seemed like her picture needed another moment to catch up with her voice, as behind the frozen image he could hear her giggling softly.

“That was quick,” Ariana’s voice strays as if she walked away for a moment, but the picture’s finally changed and is moving so Harry just waits on his phone until she appears again. When the movement settles Harry sees that Ariana is sitting in her living room. “I’m good by the way; miss hugging everyone, I swear when we’re given the all clear I’m inviting y’all over and cooking the biggest fucking Italian dinner y’all will ever have,” she says.

“I could so go for Italian right now,” Harry sighs as he sets his phone down and shifts himself up a bit so he can be more comfortable, “Been eating all the bread in this household m’tooting up a storm in here.”

“That is… horrendous.”

Harry chuckles at her reaction, fiddling with the strings of his hoodie. “‘ave you got the pups with you?”

“Always,” Ariana smiles, “Toulouse is right here, Pignoli is watching me from the other sofa and Myron’s having a nap.”

“Miss the little ones so much–,” Harry is suddenly interrupted by a guttural snort which scares even Ariana. She soon breaks into laughter as she picks up Piggy Smallz who’d been lurking behind her. “Aw does miss Piggy want her Harry love too, my big girl?” Piggy makes a noise which sounds extremely happy which causes laughs all round.

“Yeah, miss ‘aving the wind knocked out of me whenever you give me kisses,” Harry chuckles.

Of her pets, Piggy became to be the most territorial over Harry.

It started when Harry went to support Ariana at her Sweetener Tour show in London. He’d finally gotten the privilege to meet Piggy in person, and after some time holding her thinking they’d become the best of friends, she took a massive shit which splattered on his white pants. He just had to have been wearing an all-white outfit that evening.

“You reading anything good?” Harry asks.

“Um… I’m currently reading ‘We Have Always Lived in the Castle’. Seems good so far.”

“‘Kay, adding it to my cart right now,” Harry mumbles. “I’ve read like two books so far. Trying to get through this third one but I keep fallin’ asleep. So nice to just sleep.”

“I know right. It’s weird actually getting like fourteen hours of sleep for once, instead of two.”

“You deserve the rest though. Bloody insane, your tour. Can’t believe the year you had. I like… honoured to have witnessed history unfold, y’know?”

“Oh please, can we talk about your music though. I genuinely cried listening to ‘She’ earlier, like full-out, ruined-my-makeup, swollen-eyes, everything– just… tears.”

“Thanks? I guess?”

“No, H, really. My mind can’t fully comprehend Mitch’s solo in that song.”

“Oh, well, thanks, I’m only the one singing the song.”

“It’s nice to hear you exploring different vocal dynamics. You have the range and it really shines on a song like ‘She’. These are all things I’ve told you before H.”

“I know but it’s nice to have my voice praised by the vocalist of our generation.”

“Oh my God–.”

“No, seriously, I have not stopped listening to the song you showed me a couple days ago. Can’t believe you posted it to your socials.”

“Yeah I don’t really care if I get in trouble at this point, I’m like in that place mentally, emotionally, whatever where I’m creating and it’s nice and free and I just wanna share that. But thank you.”

“That reminds me I’m writing something and sort of like putting the skeleton of the music together and I was wonderin’ if you mind if I use your vocals for the synth?”

“Yeah sure, use whatever’s on google drive.”

This folder on Google Drive that Ariana’s referring to, is a shared folder with a couple vocal notes they’ve made in the past that they’ve sometimes dipped into for production samples. Harry’s relatively new to using vocal samples as instrumentation on a song since his previous record was mostly classic rock inspired. Apart from double tracking his voice, the extent of his vocal exploration on that record had been the infamous duck sound on “Woman”.

With Fine Line he’d really been inspired by Ariana’s vocal production and wanted to do a lot more of it on this record. With his producers he got a lot better at curating his own sound but if it weren’t for Ariana’s support he wouldn’t have known where to start with figuring out what else his voice can do.

He liked the idea of sampling someone’s voice, hiding it within a song where no one knows it’s even there. Who better than Ariana to be that voice.

“Can I hear what you got so far?” Ariana asks.

Harry nods and gets out of bed (with great effort which makes Ariana roll her eyes). He brings his laptop with him as he descends down the corridor. He enters the living room where a grand piano sits in the centre and props the laptop down on its surface as he sits by the keys.

“Fair warning, m’still learning,” Harry says as he plays a few random notes to prep his fingers before he begins to play.

Harry’s only got a verse and a pre-chorus, and a sort-of chorus figured out. It’s mid-tempo for now, but it might change once he can get in the studio. He starts singing, trying not to focus entirely on his fingers playing but he’s still a beginner so he’s got his head down more or less the whole time. When he finishes, he looks up again and is honestly… not surprised to see Ariana crying into her sleeve-covered hands.

“It’s sooo good.”

“Obviously, it’s not done yet–.”

“The first verse got me, but that pre-chorus– damn it,” Ariana quickly, and quite dramatically wipes under her eyes as Harry smiles with warm cheeks, kind of loving the praise coming from her, “like you’re so fucking talented, and can I just say your piano playing has improved a lot! You have nothing to worry about.”

“Thanks love,” Harry looks down and plays a few keys, hoping the terrible MacBook camera quality would hide his sudden bashfulness.

“Harry?”

“Yeah?”

“I wanna sing.”

Harry stops playing for a moment so he could hear what Ariana had to say.

“My fans have been wanting me to jump on Instagram Live to sing a few songs but I really can’t handle all that real-time shit. I just want to sing and then dip so I’m just going to record a quick video. I think it’d be a nice surprise to have you join in, finally feed your fans some new content of you.”

“Hmm, I suppose but I won’t sing.”

“Why not? They’ve been wanting some sort of duet for a while, you know.”

“Um, and show the world how rubbish I am singing next to you?”

“You are not rubbish! Have you forgotten our killer duet of ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ when we watched ‘Wayne’s World’?”

“No, I just wanna listen to y’voice. I miss it,” Harry pouts, leaning into his elbow as it rested on the hood of the piano.

“Okay, then, H,” Ariana rolls her eyes, smiling as she fixes herself. “Suppose you’d like a relatively easy song to play. How does ‘My Everything’ sound? For old time’s sake?”

“You’re in luck, that’s literally my go-to practice song at the moment. Surprisingly quite a vocal heavy track, or maybe I just don’t know how to sing.”

“Harry I fucking swear to God, you say one more self-deprecating thing–.”

“Sorry, sorry, m’just blown away every time I listen to it. Right then, let me take this old thing off. Gotta look good if I’m gonna be playing next to you,” Harry says as he pulls his hoodie off and sets it aside. He’s got on a black t-shirt that’s two days old and counting but the camera probably won’t pick up much quality anyway so he’s got nothing to worry about. Harry pulls his hair out of its scrunchy and runs his fingers through until his fringe looked somewhat contained.

“Got sent some cute-ass nails today,” Ariana says as Harry leans up close to his screen, being met with her brand new white nails with small light-grey clouds on the very tips. “Cute,” he agrees. “My nails are looking God-awful. Fuck, you think the camera will pick them up?”

The blue colour on his nails had mostly chipped off, leaving them in a ‘too naked to be fully edgy’ situation that has Harry hiding his hands from sight.

“I barely noticed.”

“I’ll just angle the camera so they don’t show.”

“You ready then? I’m gonna record the screen. Hopefully it works.”

“Okay, yeah, hold on. Okay, yeah.”

They eventually do two takes. One to see if it was actually recording and sounded good, and the second was the actual recording that Ariana planned to post.

This should have been easy, real simple, considering it isn’t their first time just hanging out, singing songs on the piano or whatever. Literally the other day she sent him a voice note singing some random meme and it didn’t phase him at all because it’s expected at this point. When it’s just them it’s not nearly as nerve wracking. Now he’s torn between wanting to play the piano well as to not mess her up, wanting to sound good to prove to himself that he’s doing better at playing like she’s said, but also wanting to just melt into himself and listen to her sing.

It seems this internal struggle appeared very well in the video as he and Ariana watched it back. Ariana sang beautifully; effortlessly as per usual, while Harry looked genuinely lost between playing and listening to her sing which with their videos side-by-side made it look like Harry was sort of in disbelief that the person next to him was singing so angelically, which wouldn’t even be far from the truth.

“Hah, that’s funny,” Ariana grins, “I’m posting it now. Prepare to become a meme.”

The video quickly went viral apparently. Neither Harry or Ariana would know since right after she posted the video they did as she wished and let it be, allowing the internet to have at it while they curled up in their beds and put on “Tiger King” to see what the hype was all about.

| – | – | – |

+ masterlists

Baking Christmas Cookies with! Lai Guanlin

christmas collab with @alliwannado-w1 and @jihoonslattee!! make sure to check their special christmas scenarios out when they’re posted!

ah, christmas

the season of giving

children laughing and giggling 

the feeling of rolling around in snow with loved ones

basically what i’m trying to say is,

chirisTMAS IS A HOOT EVERY YEAR

NO SCHOOL

NO ANNOYING CLASSMATES

NO NOTHING

the only awkward thing you’d have to deal with is greeting the relatives who you didn’t know even existed until christmas

“oh my gosh!! y/n you’ve grown so much!!!”

mind: um do i know you 

mouth: “haha yeah”

relatives would start streaming into your house from december the first

those relatives were the ones who /really/ got into the christmas spirit

you know

the type that puts their tree up straight after halloween 

as more relatives come, you’d be forced into sharing a bedroom with your parents because,

“soz your aunt is coming over with her whole family

??????

ok fine :c

you just hope that her five kids won’t ruin your framed jbj poster

on the last day of school, you were ready to leg it

you and your friends had made plans to pig out and eat discounted christmas cakes for the evening 

so there you were in class

staring at the clock every other second

as your teacher drones on and on about staying safe during the holiday season

which is very important please do stay safe guys

and as soon as the bell rang, you and your friends dash towards the door and out into the hallway

everything was going smoothly

you had nearly made it out of the school 

UNTIL

you feel a tug on the back of your shirt

and yoU COULDN’T MOVE ANYMORE

YOU WERE GONNA BURST

LOOK THE CAKE STORE HAD A CRAZY SALE AND THOSE CAKES WERE WAITING FOR NO ONE

AND SO YOU TURN AROUND,

“HEY MATE LOOK I’M A LITTLE BUSY-”

“are you going to be around this evening”

“SO IF YOU COULD KINDLY LET GO- oh hi guanlin”

das right

you turn around to find the basketball team’s star player and ‘ideal guy’ of your school, lai guanlin

“of course i’m gonna be around i live there”

you reply with an eye roll

hm why was guanlin heading over to your house?

get ready for a long ride kid

well, your parents are super close with his parents thanks to some complicated events

and your parents, being the jolly people they are, invite the lais to spend christmas over at your house every year

there was a room in house especially saved for their family???

a majority of guanlin’s winter clothes were in that room because he knOWS THAT HE’LL BE THERE AT THE END OF THE YEAR

if he runs out of hoodies or smt

he’d text you to bring him one tomorrow

and you guys meet in the janitor’s closet

lMAO WHAT KINDA SHADY DEAL Y’ALL DOING BACK THERE 👀👀👀

guanlin’s friend and other hot basketballer, yoo seonho caught you two once

he followed guanlin one time because he was curious 

look this boy waS SURE AS HELL NOT HEADING TOWARDS THE BATHROOM 

and he busted you two in the closet with you holding his hoodie 

and he was like

oooooOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH I SEE ;)))) 

*finger guns while moonwalking away*

it took a lot of persuading to get seonho to not say anything

y’all bought him a month’s worth of lunch rip wallet

what’s worse was the time the whole school thought you two were dating

you had run out of sweaters and complained to your mom about it

she pulled out this jacket outta no where and figured it was yours

it had your school’s logo on it you see

and you didn’t think twice and wore it to school

bUT TURNS OUT

IT WAS THE BASKETBALL TEAM’S VARSITY JACKET

AND GUANLIN HAD MENTIONED SOMETHING ABOUT HIS VARSITY JACKET GONE MISSING A FEW DAYS AGO

YOU TWO WERE THE HOT TOPIC OF THE SCHOOL

RIP YOU

it died down after a few weeks though

you had made some excuse of finding it on your desk and thinking it was yoo seonho’s (who you pretended to be /really/ close with)

guanlin played along with this excuse

seonho was just,,,,,

;))))))))))))))))

“DON’T”

“i’m ;) not ;) saying ;) anything ;)”

THIS BITCJ

the relationship between you and guanlin was like a ‘summer fling’

except

it wasn’t summer and it wasn’t a romantic fling

like

y’all would be super close during the holiday season 

due to the fact that you two were the only high schoolers there lol

but as soon as school starts again

y’all back to strangers

the first time it happened you were shocked :ccc

you thought that perhaps guanlin was too embarrassed to be caught hanging out with you

considering he was at the top of the food chain after all

you’re used to it now lol

sure, guanlin was tall and hot and whatnot 

but uh

seeing him in ugly sweaters and playing board games with him every year kinda ruins the way you see him

especially since he destroys you at monopoly every year bduSDVU HOW DARE-

“aiight i’ll be coming over tonight”

“gotcha”

HONESTLY IF ANYONE HEARD THIS CONVO WITHOUT CONTEXT YOU AND GUANLIN ARE GONNA BE TALK OF THE SCHOOL AGAIN LOL

“HEY Y/N IF YOU DON’T HURRY UP WE’RE GONNA LEAVE WITHOUT YOU”

guanlin lets you go with a snap of his wrist

he let go so suddenly that you fall to the ground lol

guanlin pretends to not notice and heads towards his squad lmAO

“OKOKOK IM COMING OK DONT L E A V E”

you scramble up and towards your friends

that evening, you return home with a full stomach and your arms full with different boxes of cakes

man the cake shop adventure was a blast

you get surrounded by your baby cousins almost immediately lol

after you basically get robbed by them,

guanlin appears with a pouty face

you know, that face he made when the pink sausages were being cute together ikcydkfkd

“you said you’d be here”

“i????am????here?????”

“i meANT EARLIER”

oh

“YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THE CHILDREN ABUSED ME :CCCC”

wow what a turn from your convo together at school

he’s adorable

WOWZAS HOLD UP Y/N NO ROMANTIC THOUGHTS ABOUT YOUR PARENT’S FRIEND’S SON WHO HAPPENS TO BE THE HOT STAR BASKETBALL PLAYER AT SCHOOL >:(

you push the thoughts away as his parents come to greet you

in no time, you fell into the rhythm of seeing guanlin everyday

you had to tbh, he’d force you awake every morning by playing shitty christmas carol remixes and singing along to them

“aLL i waNt fOr cHRIStmas iS yOUUuuUuUuuuUU”

“SHUT UP YOU DIRTY TOENAIL” 

FLINGS PILLOW

LETS OUT DOLPHIN SCREECH IN RESPONSE

it was cold and you just wanted to sleep in :’’’’c

you can’t believe this dumbass is the same guy from school who everyone except seonho lol thinks is a model

you and guanlin were basically joined by the hip everyday

“oh hey y/n can you swoop by the store and buy some milk?”

“sure buT CAN GUANLIN COME????”

“YEAH CAN I COME???”

but he’d wear a mask in case someone from school shows up at the store

on the way home, he saw you rub your hands together and realized that you weren’t wearing gloves

anD BEING THE SWEET, SWEET BOY HE IS

HE TAKES YOUR HAND IN HIS GLOVED ONE AND SHOVES IT INTO THE POCKET OF HIS JACKET

IM NOT CRYING YOU ARE

you stare at him

he suddenly finds a wall interesting

but he didn’t let go of your hand 

even though it was in his pocket already

you thought he was just being a gentleman you know he is and trying to keep your hand as warm as possible

BUTTTTTTTTT

YOU DON’T SEE HIS FACE SLOWLY GLOWING RED

my scenarios would be so much simpler if y’all juST KNOW ABOUT EACH OTHER’S CRUSH UGH

come christmas eve, the adults were like,

“we’re gonna take the kids out to see the parade and then go carolling, we all know that you two don’t want to join us!! so bake the cookies pls lol ok bye have fun”

it was a thing every year to bake cookies and leave them for santa

usually anything that had to do with food was the adults’ duty

bUT THIS YEAR THEY DEEMED YOU TWO MATURE ENOUGH TO MAKE COOKIES WITHOUT BURNING THE HOUSE DOWN

you two acted like the babies there but ok

“so,,,, wanna get started?”

“hell no lmao lets marathon show me the money”

best believe that’s exactly what you two did

until you realize it’s been hours since they’ve left

anD THEY COULD COME HOME ANY MINUTE

SO IN PANIC YOU CHUCK THE TV REMOTE AWAY FROM GUANLIN WHO WAS READY TO PULL UP ANOTHER EPISODE

“BRO WYD”

“BRO WE NEED TO START ON THE COOKIES UNLESS YOU WANT TO GET BEATEN UP BY THE CHILDREN AGAIN”

“BRO U RIGHT”

guanlin steps over the sofa with his damned long legs

“you’re so extra man”

guanlin squints his eyes at you skeptically

you were literally rolling over the sofa

“who’s the extra one again?”

you huff because shit hes right you’re even more extra than he is

guanlin pulls out the recipe left for you two while you grab what you were 100% sure that you two would need

a bowel? check

flour? check

chocolate chips? oh they’re in the pantry-

NOT ANYMORE

GUANLIN’S GOT THEM

AND HE’S S N A C K I N G ON THEM

you, an intellectual, run up and try to take them away

but guanlin raises them above his head

this boy’s a giant

anD HE KNOWS THAT

he sends you a shit eating grin as you attempt to take the packet by jumping lol

in the end, you punch him in the stomach

and as he doubles over in pain, snatch the chocolate away

how to deal with tall people 101 by yours truly

you run back to the kitchen, choco chips in hand

WHILE LAUGHING LIKE A CHILD SMH Y/N

and guanlin, claiming you cheated, ran after you

“SAFE!!!”

you scream, reaching the kitchen

turning around, you were ready to tease guanlin about his loss

but he was right in front of you

there was only a tiny distance between your bodies

BOY HE WAS CLOSE

“yoU KNOW WHAT,,,,,, HAVE THE CHOCOLATE CHIPS DAMMIT”

YOU TURN YOUR BACK TO HIM, FLUSTERED

guanlin smiled as you chucked him the sweet treat

not at the chocolate but at how adorable you were

“i’ll leave enough for the cookies don’t worry!!”

he did alright

there was an average of two chips per cookie

it’s :) ok :))

it’ll :))) have :)))) to :))))) do :))))))

guanlin was off to the side licking off the left over batter from the bowl

>:( this boy didn’t do shit but eat and stir the batter

you were stuck with measuring and making sure that they don’t fail >:(

siGHS

you shove the cookies into the oven and squat in front of it for a while, making sure that it was baking for sure

until you feel something hit your back

snapping your head back in shock, you see guanlin with the bag of flour in his arms

HIS LAUGHING FACE SAID IT ALL

“okAY JUST BECAUSE WE DIDN’T HAVE A SNOWBALL FIGHT THIS YEAR DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN-”

whoops theres another handful of flour 

that hit your face

upon seeing this, guanlin doubles over in laughter

“ALRIGHT YOU ASKED FOR THIS”

you picked up the ingredient closest to you and threw it in guanlin’s direction

it just happened to be an egg

IT HIT HIS ARM AND CRACKED

IT WAS NOW YOUR TURN TO LAUGH

“Y/N!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT!!! THIS JUMPER IS EXPENSIVE”

but it didn’t really matter how expensive that jumper is

it ended up covered in all sorts of things

and that’s how your kitchen floor ended up too

the playful handful of flour guanlin threw at you started a full on food fight

the kitchen was MESS but neither of you cared, you guys were waaAAAY too happy to care lma o

at one point y’all started to use spoons as catapults 

guanlin’s bag of flour seemed endless but you had run out of eggs

so you duck behind a counter and scan the kitchen for anything else you could use as ammo lol

your eyes landed on the butter but you hesitated for a second

A SECOND TOO LONG

GUANLIN DISCOVERERS YOUR HIDEOUT AND DUMPS THE REST OF THE FLOUR ON YOU

“GAME OVER”,

HE SCREECHES IN VICTORY

WHO KNEW YOUR SECOND OF HESITATION WOULD LEAD TO YOUR DOWNFALL

you scowl

“i let you win”

he scoffs

“you just don’t want to admit that i’m b e t t e r than you”

huFFS

YOU STAND UP, SLAMMING YOUR HANDS ON THE COUNTER

“thATS BECAUSE YOU AREN’T!!!!!!!!!”

he playfully puts his hands on the counter as well on the opposite side

“then tell me why i keep beating you at monopoly as well”

“i’m sENSITIVE DON’T BRING THAT U P”

“oh really?”

“Y E S”

“do you wanna have a go at beating me at connect four then?”

without noticing, the two of you had starting leaning towards each other over the counter

when you realize, your playful banter had ceased and you were staring into his eyes

and

shit

you realize at that moment that you were completely head over heels for him

your feelings for him had been building every winter leading up to his one

you had thought that they were completely platonic

but your burning face told you that they weren’t

you notice guanlin’s eyes looking down at your lips

and his adam’s apple going crazy

you gather up the little courage you had

leaned in 

and pressed a small kiss on his nose

guanlin’s head went blank

diD HIS CRUSH JUST-

you let out a small giggle and say,

“if you wanted to kiss me, you could’ve just done so”

“waIT WHAT DOES THIS MEAN???”

ur man is almost gonna faint gdi

“do yoU NEED ME TO PUT IT INTO WORDS? UGH I CAN’T BELIEVE I FELL FOR AN IDIOT”

guanlin’s lips raise into a smile

“you like me?”

“BOSUGBOURSB I’M TAKING IT BACK”

“doN’T! OK UH I LIKE YOU TOO DUMBASS”

“WAIT FOR REAL??”

you hop over the counter so there wasn’t anything between you and him

and guanlin lets out a smile bright enough to rival the sun

“yeah”

and with that, he brings you into a huge hug

and falls onto the couch with you in his arms

“guaNLIN WE’RE GONNA GET THE COUCH DIRTY”

“WHO CARES LMAO”

you snuggle against him

even though he was covered in egg lol

“hey guanlin, can i ask you something?”

“mhm?”

“why do you act like you don’t know me at school?”

“i-it’S A STUPID REASON”

“WHAT?????????”

“I THINK I’D BURST FROM AFFECTION FOR YOU IF I SAW YOU EVERY DAY FOR A YEAR”

“ARE YOU SERIOUS??”

you two were idiots

but you were idiots for each other

bonus: you two fell asleep in each other’s arms and the rest of the family came home just in time to save the cookies from burning

“i knEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN LOOK AT THAT M E S S”

no body heard that one aunt rant about the state the kitchen was in

everyone crowded around you and guanlin

cooing at your sleeping forms

“mom, are they gonna have kids???”

“uobaoBVODVBSO BILLY NO”

bonus x2: guanlin happily shows you off the next year at school

seonho the snake in this au made a bet with your friends and now your friends owe him a month’s lunch

bonus x3: you two share your official first kiss on new years hoW CUTE SVEFUDOS GOALS AMIRITE

y’all ready for christmas?? haVE A SPECIAL COLLAB SCENARIO THAT’S HAPPENING WITH IRIS AND CHI AKA TALENT IF IT WERE PEOPLE

guanlin may look chic and all at first but we all know he’s a actual child inside :’) i don’t think i did my boy justice with this au but i added my son seonho!! :’)

have a safe holiday and more christmas aus will be out very soon this week oops

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: Alright? Janis: Not too shabby, Jimothy Janis: How about you? Jimmy: Been better Jimmy: You know 😏 Janis: Goes without saying Janis: we both make do like but all things considered Janis: think it was 'reet' as you would say Jimmy: You're so full of craic Jimmy: No wonders I miss you already like Jimmy: But yeah it was alright Janis: 🍀 Janis: Take the compliment even though with present company its not asking much of me is it Janis: No shade to Cass or Bobs Jimmy: Want another, do ya? #thirstyworkthis Jimmy: Full of 'em thankfully Janis: Who you calling thirsty?! 😉 Jimmy: Denying it? Jimmy: Bold move Janis: Your word against mine Jimmy: Fair. You are louder than me Jimmy: Gonna get drowned out Janis: 😳 Janis: Prick! Janis: Not my fault that you just grunt like a caveman at all times Jimmy: If you aren't about it, do something about it, mate Jimmy: Just saying 😏 Janis: Ha.. what, teach you proper English? Janis: Not sure I got the time or dedication to the cause tbh 🤔 Jimmy: Nah you haven't got the vocab 🇮🇪 Jimmy: Need more than 🍀 is the drama Janis: 🖕 Janis: Drama is the only subject you're about, more like Janis: not working with an unwilling pupil Jimmy: You can't be my muse across every subject, mate Jimmy: So thirsty like Janis: Ugh Janis: I hate you Janis: So glad you're not here now Jimmy: Can't shut me up from this far away though Jimmy: We both know you've got means otherwise Janis: Such a blatant hussy Janis: all becomes clear now 😂 Jimmy: Skerries brings it out in me Janis: Well what happens in Skerries, like Jimmy: Shit. Hang on Janis: Okay Janis: Is it? Jimmy: Sorry Jimmy: As you were Jimmy: What did I miss? Janis: Damn, didn't hear me lamenting under ya window? Janis: Guess the thirst isn't THAT real Janis: You good? Jimmy: Funny Jimmy: Shame you weren't, could've caught me when I was tempted to throw myself out dramatically like Janis: That bad then? Janis: 'Cos you went away, like? Jimmy: My dad just had a weekend worth of opinions he simply had to share with me about how I've been spending my time Janis: I can imagine Janis: You aren't free childcare though Janis: I know my fam are lax about certain shit others aren't but he is taking the piss Janis: Right? Jimmy: It isn't like I even mind about looking after them, he's acting as if I'm desperate to be rid when I'd rather have 'em than leave them with him Jimmy: None of us wanna play happy families with him and his missus Jimmy: Have your fucking alone time Janis: Soon to be asking that, gotta be realistic Janis: Esp. with how little he's given the kiddos re. you're Ma Janis: What a headfuck, can't just transition seamlessly, son Janis: and as for the rest of that shite, he just KNOWS that'll make you feel guilty, Jim Janis: I don't know anyone who puts as much work in with their fam, he's not got a leg to stand on there, just knows what'll work on you, that's all Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: it fucks me off though, it really does Jimmy: Feels like ages since we went away already and I'm only just back through the door Janis: I know Janis: Sometimes I wish we could just take 'em and leave for good Janis: Not really though, I know that's a lowkey fucked thing to wish considering Janis: Not trying to be an insensitive cunt, just hate it when he gets to you, if I could do something about it forreal, I would Jimmy: You do Jimmy: Not trying to make you feel awkward bout it but you do really help me Jimmy: I wouldn't be able to hack half as much of this if you weren't about Janis: 'Course you would Janis: You did before, like, since you was 13 Janis: That's mental Janis: Don't usually wanna gas you up this much but you're fucking strong, and I know you had to for 'em but still are Janis: Own it, big 'ead Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: Still wish you were here though Jimmy: Or we were there Janis: Duh, I'm a delight Janis: and not going anywhere anytime soon so Janis: you're in 🍀 Jimmy: About time I had some Janis: That's the spirit Janis: just hit your Da with that quality bants 😎 Janis: won't have no comebacks, I bet Jimmy: 💪🏆 Jimmy: Sooner I can get my own flat the better Jimmy: Debating jacking school in but then who'd be there to get Mr Lucas' rocks off Janis: Won't someone please think about Mr Lucas n his needs?! Janis: Such a hero Janis: Forreal? Be a shame, like Janis: Not just for the art department Jimmy: I know. I wouldn't get to spend all day eye fucking you for starters Jimmy: 🎻 Jimmy: I dunno, sometimes it's the only peace I get from dickheads, kids and mad dogs but they aren't paying me to be there like Janis: Can't have you using your skillz on the CG punters instead Janis: Get restraining orders or their order over ya like Janis: Makes sense though, shame there ain't a compensation scheme like Janis: Maybe you could get run over and then say the Dr fucked you over Janis: double bubble Jimmy: Get your nan round to beat me up again Jimmy: Have a go too, be a hero, mate Jimmy: If anyone asked there was loads of 'em and I didn't see a single face, sorry Janis: 😂 Janis: and defs not a pensioner and a teenage girl either like Janis: probs the 'RA after you, like Janis: sell that shit to The Sun, boyo Janis: full of good ideas, me Jimmy: Quality Jimmy: I am gonna have to get another job at least Jimmy: any ideas there? Janis: Hmm Janis: Lets put our heads together Janis: What are your skills, Mr Taylor? Jimmy: 😏 Janis: 😒 Janis: There's a market for it Janis: Mia could be your sugar mama, play your cards right Jimmy: I'd happily go broke in that case Jimmy: Live in this box room forever like Janis: You got principles now? Janis: Didn't have 'em when you was sucking face with Tam 🤔 Interesting 😂 Jimmy: When Mia's concerned it's called common sense Janis: Don't reckon you got staying power to be nothing more than another flavour of the month? Janis: She does go through them, admirable in a way given all she's seemingly working against Jimmy: I know I haven't Jimmy: Kissed goodbye to my new boy appeal ages ago Janis: I dunno Janis: I still reckon you're alright Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: Cute Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: [Sends a picture of Twix] Speaking of Jimmy: Absence has made the heart grow fonder for someone Janis: Real MVP Janis: been wearing you out instead of her Janis: You owe her, like 😜 Jimmy: I'm gonna bin off school Jimmy: I can make it up to her then Jimmy: Just for the day, keep calm dad Janis: Lol, really prove his point, like Janis: Teen's prerogative Janis: Fair though, I'm pretty knackered Jimmy: yeah why not Jimmy: you don't wanna come over to keep us both company then? Janis: You don't have to ask Janis: if you just wanna 💤 Janis: Not gonna be that bitch Jimmy: what kinda bitch you gonna be Janis: I've not decided yet, watch out world Jimmy: Keep me posted Jimmy: Twix needs to get a jump on her competition Janis: Look, baby girl, if its a competition between you and school then it is none Janis: but the lad here needs a break Janis: I'm soz 💔 Jimmy: 😎💪🏆 Jimmy: Challenge accepted Janis: You turning sleep into a sport now? Jimmy: Have you seen Twix when she gets going on a dream? #Athleticaf Janis: Aww 😍 Janis: why you taking on the champ, gonna have you picking up her shit- oh wait Janis: s'a dog's life forreal Jimmy: She was the one being #goals all along Janis: Truly Janis: can I come over actually Janis: I want to Janis: Call me thirsty all you wanna Jimmy: I want you here too Jimmy: We're even Janis: What was that? You actually admitting defeat? Janis: 😮 Janis: Never thought I'd see the day, Taylor Jimmy: Don't get used to it, like Jimmy: But I do owe you one for sorting Skerries Janis: I'll take it Janis: Even if it was hardly selfless of me like Jimmy: I'm alright with you being selfish if it means getting away from the shit Janis: Easily sorted Janis: S'my default, ask the fam Jimmy: I would but I'm gonna see how long I can carry on pretending families don't exist 😎 Janis: Not gonna say challenge accepted when you're being a good boy Janis: but I like the sound of that too Janis: plus, unfair, numbers wise Jimmy: You are at a disadvantage Jimmy: Never usually let that losing streak stop you though Jimmy: 😏 Janis: Fuck off Janis: Selective memory sore loser 😒 Janis: I got this in the bag anyway, you can't be cunty to kids Janis: I'm away there, all my fam be grown...ish Jimmy: You're gonna have to jog it for me cause all I see in my past are wins, mate Jimmy: Not that you can trusted if you've forgotten how much of a dickhead I am Janis: I know you find it hard to keep up with me but Janis: at least try, mate 😉 Jimmy: Don't have to. I'm a natural at beating you Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: 😑 Janis: I feel its my duty to inform you this isn't how you make girls like you, you know Janis: otherwise your chances of getting a new gf to stick are slim Jimmy: It's alright I don't want a new girlfriend Jimmy: And I know what works on the one I've got 😏 Janis: What a charmer Jimmy: You aren't denying it 😎 progress Janis: What's your game? Janis: Suspect Jimmy: No games Janis: Yeah right Janis: got my eye on you boy Jimmy: You always do Jimmy: 😎💪💕 Janis: 🕵 you're a shady character that's why Janis: could be a 36 y/o russian spy Jimmy: 😲 Jimmy: with this face? rude Janis: deep cover Janis: obvs want me for the olympics cos why else Jimmy: busted Janis: fans gonna be gutted Janis: never mind will they won't they Janis: rollercoaster from fake start to fake end Jimmy: We're gonna need new #s Janis: #whendimitriisnottheone #comradeBYE Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: I'll get the vodka shots in Jimmy: Win you back like Janis: Not that easy Janis: but not gonna say no Jimmy: #thirsty Janis: how did we end up back here Jimmy: Too true for you to keep avoiding, mate Janis: what you think Janis: queen of avoidance Janis: won't see me for dust Jimmy: I'll see you tomorrow, babe Janis: Only by proxy Janis: 'cos my true love is there Jimmy: 🎻💔 Janis: Don't worry, we can still have mindless sex Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: Done Janis: Heart healed real fast Janis: Called it Jimmy: I'm easy Janis: Didn't wanna say it, kid Jimmy: Ask Tam she'll tell you Janis: I bet she would Janis: Unlike you I do my best to avoid her though so no tah Jimmy: Don't know what you're missing there, mate Janis: Ha, you can get fucked Janis: I'm not having a threesome with you and Tam Janis: not even for the #drama Jimmy: what about for the #craic? Jimmy: You'd be lucky anyway she's only about me 😎 Janis: So jealous 😒 Janis: Twat Janis: How about a mmf threesome, bet YOU ain't so keen now Jimmy: Depends who you're considering Jimmy: If it's Mr Lucas I'm well in Janis: All fun and games now but you know he'd be way too down Jimmy: 😒 Jimmy: Too real Janis: Mhmm, that mouth gon' get you in trouble one day Janis: what am I gonna do with you, eh? Janis: 😇 over here Jimmy: I'm the bad influence like Jimmy: Take that dad Janis: Yeah, I'll just tell him, like Janis: Problem solved Janis: Please him no end having to have a chinwag with me 😂 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: done deal Jimmy: not like we're trying to avoid him or owt Janis: oh, just thought we were trying to avoid our own, like Janis: there goes my bruch goss sesh Janis: gutted Jimmy: Keep up, mate Jimmy: Gotta totally isolate ourselves for that teen angst cliche Janis: Umm Janis: 🚩 Janis: are you going to tell me next that no one else cares about me but you? and that I need to block everyone and give you my phone Jimmy: You can tell your fam that next time Gracie's blowing up your phone Janis: I'd pay to see her rescue mission but Janis: I'll let it get to the danger zone before I do anything, standard Jimmy: Fair Jimmy: Can't fault you there Janis: Give you time to get proper creeper Janis: up ya game Jimmy: I'll take that Jimmy: Challenge accepted as per Janis: G'wan then Janis: Don't scare easy Jimmy: I already figured that out Janis: Clever boy 😉 Jimmy: have my moments Jimmy: Don't even need school, see? Janis: Still wanna jack it in then? Janis: Let Monday pass, see how you feel Jimmy: I don't wanna really Jimmy: Just being a crybaby about being stuck under this roof Jimmy: 🎻 Janis: Fair Janis: I feel it Janis: You can always squat in the barn if you're quiet Janis: won't charge you Janis: much Jimmy: I can be quiet Jimmy: If you don't blow my cover we'll be alright Janis: Excuse me Janis: I'm stealth as fuck Janis: you know you got caught the other day yeah Janis: was saving your ego but Jimmy: Nah Janis: Did so Janis: you know Gracie got her 👀 peeled for you forever Jimmy: Damn Jimmy: Should've known that she'd still be obsessed with me Janis: You? Okay 👌🍆 Janis: watch you don't rub your shine off dickhead Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Thought you'd be buzzing she's switched her allegiance like Janis: Still not getting rid of her is it Janis: Unless you both run off into the sunset and leave me in peace Jimmy: Yeah alright Jimmy: You've got Twix you'll be sorted Janis: Like you give a fuck Janis: finally getting the twin you wanted all along like Jimmy: Naturally Jimmy: Just playing the long game Janis: Bit of a weird way to play it but Janis: this your usual approach? Jimmy: You're the first twin I've dated Jimmy: Lucky Janis: I really feel it Jimmy: [Sends a pic of Twix looking adorable] Jimmy: Bet you do Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Look at what you coulda had Janis: now you're gonna have to get a pug with my sister Janis: sad Jimmy: More of a cat person anyway like 😏 Janis: are you trying to get with my mum? Janis: sicko Jimmy: Nah just over mad bitches, you know Janis: Defs wanna avoid this entire fam then Jimmy: Nah their alright Jimmy: And not just by comparison Janis: Hmm maybe from the outside looking in Janis: They aren't but what am I gonna do, emancipate myself? I've got less cash and less of a place to go so not the brightest of ideas Jimmy: Guess we're stuck Jimmy: Twix has a lot of love to give but fuck all cash Janis: Preach Janis: Useless sugar daddy Janis: should take a leaf out my sister's book clearly Jimmy: Bit late for that Jimmy: You're too loved up Janis: Nah Janis: Tell Twix to speak for herself Jimmy: [sends a voice clip of Twix howling] Jimmy: Done Janis: 😂 Janis: aren't you in enough trouble rn boy? don't start her off! Jimmy: She's a bad bitch Jimmy: Can't be told Jimmy: I blame her training meself Janis: Oh, Twix, where you gonna go? Think on, girl Janis: Get what you pay for Janis: You want results, you gotta cough up for my services Jimmy: You can't need new kicks already, mate Jimmy: I know you've been shopping like Jimmy: The social's got you exposed Janis: What makes you think I was paying? 🤔 Janis: Mean she didn't buy you a 'round? Shame Jimmy: I know you weren't Jimmy: Gonna pay when Twix hears about it though Janis: Sure the flat whites are already hunting her down too Janis: Awkward Jimmy: Tam's probably trying to stretch her skin into a suit as we speak Jimmy: She's gonna need a touch of your luck I reckon Janis: Not your usual type, long and lanky then? Janis: That'll be a toughie but she's nothing if not determined, bless her Jimmy: Dunno I can't remember Jimmy: 🤷 Janis: Nice Janis: Such a gent Jimmy: I wasn't trying to be Jimmy: She bumped into me and we had a dance to make it less awkward Jimmy: Far as that politeness went Janis: No need to lie 😂 I'm not the one that's gonna be crying about it Jimmy: No need to be jealous cause I'm not Janis: Whatever, weren't together Janis: not against any unwritten rules or other shite Jimmy: Still Jimmy: If you were jealous, like at Cass' party, no need to be Janis: You what? Janis: I weren't, you were being rude, that's all Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: 🤷 Janis: Always wanting me to be jealous Janis: 😒 Jimmy: Nope, just saying Jimmy: I'm that dickhead like Janis: What dickhead would that be? Jimmy: A jealous one Janis: Nah Janis: You ain't Janis: why would you be? nothing to be jealous about Jimmy: Forget it Janis: Can't say that, never works, like Jimmy: There's a first time for everything though Jimmy: Worth a go Janis: 🤷 Janis: fine, hit you with the shrug right back Janis: be like that Jimmy: I'm not being like anything Jimmy: I just don't wanna say it. Okay? Janis: Alright Janis: What do you wanna say? Anything? Should I go? Jimmy: Don't Jimmy: It's not your fault like, being too good for me and that Janis: Are you mental? What are you even chatting Janis: Fuck leagues, not even playing the same sport, and I ain't bragging Janis: For once Jimmy: Bollocks Jimmy: You're fucking stunning like, and that's just looks Janis: 🙄 Janis: Please Janis: that's the start and end of my qualities Janis: don't even make the most of that, like Jimmy: Shut up Jimmy: It isn't Jimmy: And you don't need to, that makes it worse, or better depending on the lens you're viewing through Janis: I've told you, I know what I am Janis: Ain't under any illusion I'm a catch Janis: Not fishing for sympathy like Jimmy: I'm not throwing any sympathy out Jimmy: Or compliments, just facts Jimmy: You are a catch, mate Janis: Blatantly not 'cos no one else thinks or has thought so Janis: what I'm saying, there's nothing to BE jealous about Janis: no one gunning for you 'cos I'm off the market, is there Jimmy: Only cause they can't compete with how #goals we are Janis: Yeah, that's the joke Jimmy: It doesn't have to be Jimmy: I'm not laughing Janis: No? That might've been your reality but it certainly hasn't been mine Janis: There's a reason I was a 'dyke' with no friends, and those reasons haven't disappeared Janis: You would laugh, you do Jimmy: No Janis: Forget it Janis: I'm using mine now too Jimmy: Don't Jimmy: I don't want you to forget what I'm trying to say Jimmy: Even if I am messing it up Janis: you don't have to Janis: say anything Janis: just 'cos I'm being a fucking sad case Jimmy: I want to Jimmy: There's so much shit I wanna say to you, alright? Janis: But you don't know how? Janis: Alright, Liam, fucking hell Jimmy: He was on to something Janis: Maybe Janis: 😏 Janis: You don't need this though, my shit ontop of yours, forreal, so you can forget about it, alright? Jimmy: I'm not that much of dickhead Janis: Ugh, can't you try? Janis: Always claiming the title and now where is it when we need it, eh Jimmy: Sorry Jimmy: Got no control over it like that Jimmy: Basically none around you, like Janis: You mean that? Janis: No bullshit, no bants? Jimmy: You know I do Janis: Good Janis: 'cos me either Janis: and I am jealous, really jealous Janis: and you know that too, I know Jimmy: That's why you have to hear me out Jimmy: There's no reason to be Jimmy: I swear Janis: Alright Janis: I'll try Janis: Its not personal, but I know its shitty to be on the other end of it regardless Jimmy: Good Jimmy: I can't lie now, I quite like it Jimmy: Nobody's ever been that bothered about me before Janis: Well they're thick then Janis: I Janis: I dunno Janis: Not had anyone to myself before Janis: that I wanted to keep Janis: not letting go easy, like Jimmy: Don't Jimmy: Me and you. Alright? Jimmy: That's how I want it Janis: Alright Janis: I wish we had a place to go now too Janis: Bad Janis: out of the question storming out in a teen angst rage tonight? Jimmy: It's out of the question for me not to Jimmy: I'll take the car Jimmy: Find us a place Janis: You're already in trouble I guess Janis: Lets do it Janis: I'll be waiting outside Jimmy: I'll be right there Janis: 👌 Janis: what are our chances of sneaking me in though? 🤔 seems silly to come back home only to come back tomorrow like Janis: up for the challenge? Jimmy: Put a coat on it's freezing out Jimmy: You know it 💪🏆 Janis: Cute 🖤 Janis: but as I've pulled, will do Jimmy: Funny Jimmy: Got the car keys that's the first hurdle like Jimmy: Don't even need luck Janis: Thank God, like Janis: just that good, yeah? Jimmy: Yeah Jimmy: 💕

Tommy & Meena/Meena & Ro

Slides into ya DMs a million years later

Tommy: [Sends her a link to a facebook post about their dance teacher from when they were kiddos] Tommy: As if she's retiring! 😮 It doesn't seem 5 mins since she was calling me out for picking my nose like Tommy: I wanna get her a pressie or something, what you reckon? 🤔 Gin or bubbles Meena joined the chat 105 minutes ago Meena: I know, crazy isn't it, sure she's telling everyone she doesn't feel anywhere near old enough (hoping they'll say she doesn't look it either) Bless her Meena: and it is a pretty nasty habit I hope you left behind, in fairness 😛 Meena: I don't think she'll oppose either, I'll go in with you on it if that's alright Meena: We should, really Tommy: 😂 Mostly. We all have our off days though, yeah? Bet your thumb still be looking tempting on the reg 😜 Tommy: Fuck it let her be down with the kids and chug down a 'trendy' gin Tommy: Yeah I was gonna ask if you did wanna but knowing you I didn't wanna assume you hadn't already gone all out like 🎉 Tommy: 😇 to my 😈 Meena: Never! That rancid nail paint Ana got me put me off for life Meena: could totally rock a mani now, even if pedis are forever out of the question 💃👣 Meena: I hadn't actually, been so busy with this band stuff with your sisters and that Meena: Probably wouldn't have done it if you hadn't, doesn't want any old riff-raff she barely remembers showing up Meena: her ⭐pupil though, that's different Tommy: fair, she's been at me bout it too Tommy: needs my skills appaz but it'll cost her Tommy: come on, it takes two to tango! nothing without the baby to my johnny 💑 Meena: Nice try but I'm not getting involved in sibling drama, I know better than that 🙅 Meena: my own Brother is going great lengths to avoid me so I'm chilling Meena: 😂 please Meena: if the other girl hadn't got knocked up, baby woulda been surplus from the start Tommy: Drama, me? Please 😂 Tommy: Nah tbh I'm excited to get involved Tommy: & see you lot in action ofc Tommy: Imagine! We'd have to have been going some to be dealing with pregnancy scares at that age even by my ma's standards Meena: 😏 Isn't it on your required curriculum? Meena: Can't blame you Meena: It has been a lot of fun Meena: It'll be good to see you too Meena: 😨 No thank you, I'll leave that to Ali, she's got it covered Meena: No way either of us could keep a child alive 😂 Tommy: You got me 🥊 Tommy: It looks it & the socials never lie Tommy: It'll be fab to see you too! 💙 Tommy: How've you been, girl? Meena: Naturally, filters need not apply Meena: Me? I'm all good Meena: Nothing to report, no pregnancy scares or slightly predatory older men Meena: How's the London life? Tommy: 👍 Tommy: Me either Tommy: Only the teachers 😂 Tommy: London's capital D dramatic but I'm surviving 🤩 Tommy: like you said, required, yeah? Meena: Don't even joke, Mr. Lucas, this new teacher, is soooo sketchy Meena: not that he's likely to go after me 😂 but there will be drama worth reporting there Meena: mark my words Meena: and don't lie, you so LIVE for it, don't you? 🙂 Tommy: Oh my god colour me unsurprised and deeply disturbed Tommy: Trying to big you up without calling you a lolita and all that jazz Tommy: but noted Tommy: Shame the news came too late to get my sister learning from the nuns Tommy: 😂 Meena: Thank the Lord we can rule out everyone but Caleb pretty much for Rio's daddy Meena: she's so cute 😍 Tommy: Right? she's his double Meena: Nah she looks a lot like Ali too Meena: still, Mr. Lucas has not gone that far is my point Meena: she hates him, its so funny 'cos your Ma can't even be mad 😂 Tommy: Yas! Glad she ain't protesting too much Tommy: None of us got time to be dealing with that level of drama even me 😏 Tommy: Ma can ALWAYS be mad tho Meena: I wouldn't like to say Meena: Trying to get me to badmouth all your family today...are you print screening this?! 🙊 Tommy: Only if it gets juicy 😂 Tommy: what'll it take to get you to throwdown on 'em? Meena: 🤐 Tommy: It's been good catching up Tommy: Soz I'm not better at it Meena: No, it's not all you Meena: I'm not the most social of bears Meena: and its been a while Meena: but it was nice 🙂 Tommy: we should get a drink when I'm back 🍹 do it proper Tommy: no pressure like and even less drama Meena: You got it in you to leave it in London? 🤔 Meena: but i'm up for it Meena: I don't drink drink though, just an FYI Tommy: I'll do it for the craic 🍀 Tommy: Still gonna dance on the tables tho, yeah? Meena: 😳🙈 guess so Meena: anything you do, i'll do backwards and in heels Meena: thems still the rules, last I checked Tommy: 👑💚 Tommy: Love it Meena: Okay...Can I just vent at you for a hot sec, Ro Meena: More than free to comment any way you see fit (of course) but also as free to say nothing if you can't or don't wanna Meena: Just need to get it out 'cos what even Ro: Oh...of course Ro: Go ahead Meena: [Screenshots Tommy in her DMs] Meena: so I know its awkward 'cos familial ties and whatnot but WHAT THE WHAT Meena: He's been ignorning me for what, 6 years? Meena: Perhaps a little dramatic but basically Meena: and now we're just meant to move on as if a. those years didn't happen and b. the ones BEFORE didn't either Meena: am I being insane? I tried not to sound it with him but I am at such a loss rn Ro Ro: Um...I'd say it's rather awkward regardless Ro: What was he thinking? Ro: You are most definitely not insane, in fact, I applaud how together you remained Ro: It's a nice idea, in theory, to reconnect, but that's all it can be and surely he must see that Ro: The past can't just be erased when it's convenient Meena: Ugh, thank you! Meena: I can tell you're not just yes-manning me and it is so appreciated 😘 Meena: You'd think it had been a couple of days, the way he just tried to pick up there Meena: I get it...I wish it was possible in many ways Meena: but if we're going to be anything more than passing acquiantances ever again then I'm afraid we need to have a convo more awkward than that one even! 😬 Ro: Exactly! Ro: We'd all love a quick fix but they simply don't exist, even if you are a McKenna Ro: I'm frankly at a loss for words Meena: I mean...guess it was a nice gesture? right? Meena: God, feel like I'm 9 and he's pretending to like me so he can laugh about me with his friends at break Meena: Ridiculous Ro: I suppose so, if misplaced and poorly timed Ro: Well that's hardly surprising considering you were a child when he last talked to you Ro: You don't have to go for a drink with him just because you agreed then, remember that Meena: I know Meena: but I don't know Meena: I think I want to? Meena: Maybe he wants to say his piece in person Meena: although, in that case, perhaps give an indication in the text! Meena: Walking into an ambush Ro: You don't have to decide now at least Ro: And you can always call me if it does turn into an ambush Ro: I'll act as if there's an emergency Meena: Ooh, good plan Meena: never felt like I was in a romcom before Meena: almost exciting except i feel a bit sick Ro: I understand that all too well Ro: Another idea, cliche though it is, would be to channel this situation into composing a song Ro: Just don't let him know he's the subject Meena: it might be time to embrace the clichedness of it all Meena: the others would be proud Ro: They certainly would Meena: if not a little curious where all these deep feelings had sprung from Meena: oh the shame 🙈 Ro: True, but have no fear, my lips are sealed Ro: Whilst we're on the subject though, how do you feel about him getting involved with the band? Meena: Thanks, Ro 💛 Meena: I mean, I don't mind...I don't WANT to mind, it should be fine Meena: He's a part of my life as long as you guys are but that was admittedly far more abstract when he was more Meena: gone Meena: I am going to try, it would be good for the band, and me, to get over this Ro: Never mind the others, I'm very proud of you, Meena Ro: And for what it's worth, I think that's the right move, after all, he won't be away at school forever Ro: Should he decide to come back home for good you too are bound to interact more Meena: Exactly Meena: Can't ban him from Dublin and activities with his fam Meena: but I also don't think I need to exile myself...far too cliche for words and I frankly, don't want to Meena: I feel better for having talked it out...I just felt absolutely insane, like I was in topsy-turvy land or something, there for a sec Meena: Thanks again Ro, it means a lot Ro: What are friends for? No need to thank me, I'm just glad you feel better Ro: A very strange day for you indeed Ro: Tomorrow is a new one though at least and I'll be here if you need to talk again Meena: Truly! So strange manners were dropped at the door Meena: When we talk again I WILL ask how you are and what's going on with you Meena: I promise 😘 Ro: I have no doubt whatever Ro: But you're forgiven Ro: If there was ever a time for such an entitlement it was now Meena: 💛

Janis & Jimmy

Fake dating begins!

Janis: Grace wants to buy you a coffee for being such a gent. Janis: If I was you I'd have a freebie black and charge it to her tab. Her and her cronies are in there enough, and it'll save you having to endure a frappe/her and said giggling gal pals. Jimmy: Me and her or a group hang with the BBs for the 'gram? Jimmy: 👍I did that last week and the one before Janis: Depends. She obvs wants alone time with you but she's never passed up a #goals photo-op in her life, so. Janis: Can't be freeing the nip on Insta but maybe she's got a private snapchat she wants to whore out, you'll be well in then 👍 Janis: Christ. Good to know not ALL her money goes on Brazilian blow-outs, she's also topping up the salary of every hot barista in town, what a philanthropist she is, amongst other less favourable titles. Jimmy: If you can be arsed to 3rd wheel this I'll shout you something from the secret menu Jimmy: Which exists swear down and isn't just a invite to my snapchat Jimmy: Why am I worried Brazilian blow outs is a way bigger euphemism any day Janis: Hmm. As much as I try to avoid spending ANY time with Grace, for obvious reasons as you well know, it could be pretty amusing to see her make such a twat out of herself. And it would piss her off if I gatecrashed...Fuck it, I'm in. Janis: Don't get any ideas about making some taboo twin content though, lad, that only happens in the minds of pervy porn execs, and in weird old lady novels from the 80s. Janis: Lol. Yeah, it ain't a Cavante special. Its to make her look MORE white, funnily enough. As if the coffee habits and UGGs weren't making her a literal meme for the cause already. Jimmy: I'd rather down a strawberry açaí refresher with coconut milk every time Grace makes a gaff, which funnily enough is what necking with your sister's tall mate tastes like, than get sandwiched between the two of you Jimmy: I'd shout her a flat white if she'd get the joke though. One for each of them Jimmy: 😩 Janis: OMG, girl code, Grace sooooo saw you first, Tammy is gonna be out on her flat white arse when Gracie finds out, like 💀 Janis: The feeling's mutual, dickhead. Wouldn't put it past my sister though, she's more obsessed with me than she'd EVER be with you. 🤢 At least she'll be moving on when you finally give in and give it to her, I've got a life fucking sentence, mate. ⚰ Jimmy: OMG Minnie (??? Isn't that her name maybe) launched herself at me first and I'd be out on my penniless arse if I'd let her crack on over the counter ⛔ Jimmy: I like my encounters with a little less ego it's no crime. Or slight on you, mate. Jimmy: I'll tell Gracie that if she ever lets me get a word in. Janis: Fuck knows. All look the same to me. Ironic if it is, though, fucking jolly green giantess. Janis: And soz but sexual assault ain't no crime either when you're them though, they're just being #girlbosses swear down garda 💋 Janis: Good luck with that one, kid. Even if she gives you the chance, she won't be listening. Fucks with the fairytale where you shut the fuck up and carry her bags 'cept to call her pretty once in a while for said ego's boost. 🙊🙉 Janis: oh, and look good in the 'gram, standard. Jimmy: Could be what the lads call her... whoops Jimmy: Damn. I'll have to spoil her fun by letting it be known I've got myself a girl already. 🎻 Shame it'll take me years to find one who can stand the interrogation 💔 Jimmy: Gotta get Cass to keep her ear low. Effort. Janis: The 'lad's' secret is safe with me, the 'girls' are hardly likely to listen and I'm even less likely to bother to tell 'em. She'd just think #pussygamestrong 'neway so I ain't giving the bint that unwarrant stroke when you've all already been there, done that. Sloppy. Janis: Woe is, lad. Like everyone ain't on your dick rn 'cos you got that shiny, new appeal. Just pick one that ain't TOTALLY unbearable- ah, I see your problem. Janis: Sadly, I can't help, I ain't the massive lezza you've no doubt heard from the lads and girls alike that I am. Janis: Slim pickings either way you swinging, you see. Jimmy: You can help me then. Go on. Think how mad it'd make Gracie if nuffin' else Jimmy: Counter distance between us at all times if you want Janis: Aside from pissing off my sister, which I'm more than capable of by me larry, what's in it for me? You get her off your dick and back into Costa to cry it out, like Jimmy: Freebies of any of Common Grounds finest where you can also hang without her and her hangers on Jimmy: Semi trained mutt if I can wrench it from my sisters grasping hands? Jimmy: Plus an end to the rumors if you're arsed about that. You said yourself I've got the newbie appeal Janis: Alright, alright, you had me at dog! Janis: I won't deprive your sister but I could do with an AM running partner who can keep up. I'll wear it out and have it back to you at the end of your morning shift, before she's even had her weetabix or found her school tie. Deal? Janis: I'm down for writing our own rumours, why the fuck not, eh Jimmy: Done. Her name's Twix and she's as annoying as the name makes her sound. Jimmy: Get ready for rumors about how many bodies she's buried for you after all the holes dug Janis: Cute. And I'm sure I've dealt with worse bitches, I'm up for the challenge. 💪 Janis: Its always the dog walkers init, suspicious cunts. Jimmy: Yeah, and if you wanna bury a few of 'em yourself I'll keep my lips sealed Jimmy: Tomorrow too soon? Janis: Good man, you will if you know what's good for you. Janis: Though, not too sealed, gotta set this dump's/my sister's world alight, like, and I don't think that's happening if we just hold hands. 😲 Janis: Nah, I'm ready. Only thing I got scheduled is double chem and that can always do with livening up. Janis: How you wanna do this, lover boy? Jimmy: Point taken. I better work on my angles too. For the 'gram. Jimmy: With minimal cliches if that can even be a thing round 'ere Jimmy: Probably wouldn't believe it without 100s would they Janis: You best, I don't know how to work facetime, you've got the wrong twin there. Janis: Well, I could oh-so casually ask Grace if her and the bitch squad are going for coffee on the way home from hell (as if they don't every fucking day) and she will be buzzin' thinking I wanna come 'cos she's always asking/attempting to drag me like she's on a mission from the coffee bean gods Janis: Then we can be there, together, oh-so casually again Janis: Aside from sucking face on the playground (which is a little first school, even for these hoes) its the best way to get max attention and thus the rumour mill will do the rest Jimmy: Make sure Tall Tammy's at the back. Can't have Grace missing it Jimmy: See if you can get one of them to spill coffee on you too. Everyone loves a heroic gesture and a clothes share 😏 Janis: 😂 Brilliant. Janis: Assuming Grace doesn't straight up throw it at me, I'll be sure to make that happen. Janis: I'll probably come chat to you at lunch tomorrow too. Can't have this springing out of nowhere, like, how implausible! 😏 You hang with Sean Bryne and that atm, yeah? Jimmy: Yeah we'll be in the smoking spot if not our usual corner Jimmy: I'll slide into the seat beside you the period after make it look like we got it really bad 💘 Janis: 👍 twos up on the ☠ 🚬 then, lad. what could be more romantic? Janis: good thinking, grace is in that class too and she's hopeless with maths so she won't be paying the slightest bit of attention to anything but the absolute scandal Jimmy: What should I call you so you don't wanna punch me in the dick as soon as I go in for a pet name? Janis: Eurgh, good shout, even if it is just to save your own bollocks, can't blame a boy. I don't fucking know, what's not vomit-inducing but also #couplegoals enough to make it worth the hassle? Janis: Blah, just remember my name, yeah, that'll have 'em creaming. Such courtesies are not often extended their way, like. Jimmy: Deal. And I'll # everything #JJ so you can block it from your feed easy Janis: Solid. Janis: Imma take a picture with your dog tomorrow, it best be fucking cute. Jimmy: [Takes a selfie with Twix and sends it] Do you? Jimmy: Not my #goals but should spark jealousy with the intended Janis: Cute. Janis: The dog ain't bad either. 😉 Janis: I'm getting in practice Jimmy: I'll do mine in the comments when it's posted Jimmy: How keen is cringe in the eyes of Gracie and her friends? Janis: You're asking a mouthful there. If you're too nice, they'll say you're boring. But they've gotta at least pretend they're feminists in this day and age so if you are too full of the bants and low-key treating me like shit, they're gonna have to pretend they ain't here for that even though that's every boyf they've ever had, na'mean? Janis: Just say something confusingly inappropriate for what is not gonna be a hot pic, isn't that how you lads do? Janis: I'll set you up with a lame caption Jimmy: Thanks. There's back room access in it for you Jimmy: Again not a private snapchat invite Janis: Steady on there, not until the 3rd date, at least! 😂 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Seriously though. You're not as much of a bitch as everyone says. Nice one. Janis: Well, don't be spreading that backhander about, will ya? Janis: You've got a rep to make, that's a bit of mine I'd like to protect Jimmy: 🤐