as soon as the script starts going “oh you start blushing all red” i lose all interest

People aren't ugly. If you're not attracted to them, you're not attracted to them. That doesn't mean said person is hideous. I think I look like a wildebeast that got steamrolled by a cheetah mid bite, but I know there's at least five to ten people on the planet that think I'm so hot that I'm the creature causing global warming.

I know I sound like a Hallmark card at a Dollar Tree, but people are NOT ugly. I firmly believe this about humans. Their flaws make them beautiful af. Be kind to people. It's not that fucking hard.

Also, why the hell did I end up having this conversation with a grown ass man at a farmers market? I just wanted some fucking carrots.

them: girlll it’s the middle of summer why are you wearing sweats???? wear shorts or something christ

me: …how about no 😞

i've been working on this one task every fucking day for weeks, i'm at version 43 of this one shot of 55 stupid frames right now and i'm going batshit insane, someone needs to knock me the fuck out so i can have some peace :) thanks

ೃ⁀➷ I’m tired as fuck, but I’ve never felt more replaceable in my entire life. Like I know it’s my brain overthinking — but for some reason today hit harder than usual. Perhaps it’s over the fact that I know my Dean can easily be discarded if I don’t reply fast, or take priority to reply to certain people. Honestly, the amount of times I think this and manage to cry over it truly tells you how fucked overthinking can be. Bruh I think I need a hug or sleep but college woo.

If I Screamed, Would You Hear Me?

I'm sorry I can't keep shoving my emotions under the rug for you

I'm sorry if I make you uncomfortable when you see them

But I can't keep pretending like I am a robot

I can't keep hiding

I need to let it out

And that has to be okay for now...

I'm really tired of having something that doesn't even exist dictate what I can do with my body....forced to suffer pain and being super sensitive to medications (birth control because I have endometriosis) all because doctors think I'll change my mind and want to have kids later....

No, I won't. Just let me stop suffering. I don't need to have kids to live a fulfilling life.

I shouldn't have to wait till I am literally dying for this organ to be taken out.

Hey guys, I just spent the last hour going through accounts who've been liking and reblogging and following this blog. I do this to prevent blogs I don't want to interact with or interacting with me. And, the results are not good.

I have Minors DNI for a reason, even if the content thus far has been pretty tame. Just because I occasionally write funny G-rated posts does not mean I want minors to follow, like, or reblog my content. I don't want anything to do with these blogs. I don't want them have anything to do with me. I'd like my boundaries to be respected. If you have minor or your age in your bio or a pinned post, you aren't welcome because I want minors not to interact with me, an almost 30 yr old adult. I literally want nothing to do with minors. Even 18-21 feels weird because we have almost nothing in common.

I discovered and blocked at least 3 or more minors who interacted with my content. It's just plain obnoxious for these kids to put "NSFW BLOGS DNI" while following and liking adult blogs that clearly state in the pinned post, bios, or taglines that MINORS DNI. You can't have it both ways. Sorry not sorry. I will write more NSFW stuff eventually, and yes I age up characters because I don't like writing about teenagers, period, no matter the context. Not gonna lie, teenagers annoy and frustrate me to no end, so I don't want to write for or about teenagers. Don't like? Don't read. Don't interact with my content if that bothers you or you don't want NSFW blogs interacting with you. Not that I would if I found out you're a minor who ignored every single boundary I set up for my own well-being and mental health. You don't get to set your boundary and ignore mine. That's so disrespectful. If you're a minor who likes or reblogs my content, regardless of what it is, I will BLOCK you without warning. Same goes for the lazy schmucks who can't be bothered to write a quick bio including an age and get a profile. Age in bio blogs with the default pfp are on thin ice. It doesn't take long to set up a profile and tagline; it literally could take less than 10 minutes. It's bad enough that nobody fucking interacts beyond a like as if Tumblr runs in the same algorithm as Twitter or Facebook, y'all can't be bothered to not be minors and enter adult spaces where you're not invited. Even if any of my pages were G-rated and SFW, I STILL wouldn't want minors, blank blogs, and porn bots to interact with me or my content. I'm banging my head against the wall trying to deal little to no interaction and minors invading my space. Holy shit

I fuckingbhate this state. They make you take biology state testing even if you haven't taken the class and then they tell you, you need to pass it or you can't graduate.

.

When I got I job I thought I would finally have money to myself but here I am, paying my dad's bills, coming home and doing chores no time to study because people just talk and talk and if I don't listen I'm egoistic, giving him money to buy beer because if I don't I'm a bad daughter.

I'm paying for the sins of my mother, day by day, the consequences of her choices

Life is going to get better I have hope, I need hope

Because I refuse to be the same failure and live like my parents

I refuse

Louis Hofmann content on this darn hellsite is so scarce which simply shall not do. I’m going to have to start making shit ton of gifs of him myself, I need him on my blog 😫 *screams*

Not to be sad but I miss having a best friend bro

Here's a quick summary of one of the worst years in my life!

January - Depressing birthday

February - A normal month

March - A normal month

April - Internet died

May - Internet is still dead

June - Internet is still dead, but with 1mbps portable broadband, phone network dies due to portable broadband, social life dying, depression worsens

July - Internet is still dead, but with 1mbps portable broadband, social life basically dead, spending most days not talking to a single person outside of D&D, depression gets 10x worse

August - So far, internet fixed, social life 95% dead, lose access to bank account and paypal account, can't recover because my phone network is dead and the ones at fault refusing to do anything about it, depression has basically taken over

I just wanna run my oneshot but scheduling is a fucking bitch… once I run that I can do my campaign but I need to run my oneshot first

I’m so close to just not doing anything anymore…. I thought I’d plan ahead and go with 3 weeks ahead but of course one person can’t make it and I want everyone there