MIDNIGHT COWBOY

forever obsessed with dynamics between vampires, specifically that of a maker and fledgling, as a way to explore abuse. the creation of a vampire itself can so easily be a literalization of the lasting impacts of trauma and also much more simply the ways a perpetrator might shape their victim’s very identity. the extremes of isolation in the way that the new vampire, in most narratives, must cut all ties to their mortal life, or else go through an elaborate charade to maintain the facade of humanity, while forever still being removed from it. and the sheer dependence and vulnerability of being in an entirely new state of being, wholly uncertain of what it entails, and relying on another person to define… everything.

Happy Year of the Dragon!

I want your opinion on something. Do you think it's better to try and the the cards of the character you like or skipping some to brench out? Like, say you're a fan of Leona. Should you try to get all of his bday card and stuff or stick to one and get other characters ssr?

personally, as much as I would like every single card...I gotta ration my keys, so I focus on my favorites!

which isn't to say that I only pull for certain characters no matter what! more that I take a good long look at every card that comes out and go "do I really want this one? like...really really want it?" (the answer is usually yes, but -- look, the art in this game is very pretty, okay)

honestly, from a gameplay standpoint, I think it doesn't matter too much whether you focus on pulling for specific characters or not. there are very, very few points where actually having a good mix of characters is important (Those Two Stages in episode 6, where I think you can use retry tickets for the easy mode? and also guest room battles if you care about those) and you'll probably end up with at least one halfway decent card per character just from doing 10-pulls and events. so even if you're only pulling for Leona cards, you'll still end up getting a bajillion other characters as well. follow your heart! chase that grumpy lion bliss! ✨🦁✨

Things that absolutely fucked my shit up this episode, an incomprehensible list:

- Ellie liked the smell of Frank’s sleeping bag

- Joel still wearing Frank’s shirt

- Joel staying up all night to guard while Ellie slept

- “They’re not gonna hit you. Look at me, they’re not gonna hit you.”

- “Mom! Mom! Mom!”

- The way the doctor gave the lines “I delivered you. I held you in my hands.” and “I’m your doctor” so simply when asked for reasons why he shouldn’t be killed

- Ellie’s smile when Joel tried to tug the gun from her hand

- The way Joel bumbled his way through trying to make sure Ellie was okay, and ask if she wanted to talk about it after she shot Bryan

- All of the superhero drawings on the wall that Sam drew of him and Henry

- The mask that Sam had drawn on his face

Something about how everyone is undeniably human, and how unafraid they are of not shying away from that.

Tubbo: We are figuring out who the mole is, Technoblade. Techno: I bet it’s JSchlatt.

Tubbo and Quackity: Tubbo: He is not on our side Technoblade. Quackity: What are you talk-- WHAT DO YOU MEAN “I bet it’s JSchlatt”!?

Old clip from November 16th’s “Quackity Goes to War Against JSchlatt” stream: featuring Technoblade having a very serious debate with Tubbo and Quackity explaining how JSchlatt is, somehow, secretly on their side.

I have a new episode of my podcast All Miracles Are Strange. It's about hysterical weeping, Margery Kempe, EM Cioran, and two ceramics work by the artist Carolein Smit (above).

It's also about how I cry a lot.

In this episode, I referenced Tears and Saints by Emil Cioran, The Crying Book by Heather Christie, Cry Baby: Why Our Tears Matter by Benjamin Parry, Interior Castles by Teresa of Avila, the Book of Margery Kempe, Afterlives of the Saints by Colin Dickey, and the essay “Tears and Screaming: Weeping in the Spirituality of Margery Kempe” by Santha Bhattacharji, which appears in the book “Holy Tears: Weeping in the Religious Imagination.” I tried very hard to put in some bits from Margery Kempe by Robert Gluck, but couldn't make it work this time around.

If you would like to support my work or read more of what I do, you can find me on Patreon and Substack. If you want to see my studio work, you can see it on instagram and on my website.

This episode, along with all the others, can be found on both Spotify and Apple Podcasts

bad day

My Emet stuff already gets comments like "idk who's this cunty loser but I approve of this". Good, good. I shall use the power of my art transcending fandoms to give you one simple life-changing tip. Come closer, listen. Play the critically acclaimed MMORPG Final Fantasy XIV with an expanded free trial which you can play through the entirety of A Realm Reborn and the award-winning Stormblood expansion up to level 70 for free with no restrictions on playtime. It will hurt you and rewire your brain, and there are old mans to be fucked.

And with your help we can make it 60-80%

if only will survived the fall and not hannibal he'd probably be fine. like he'd never love again and live a life of solitude and probably just fish until he died but he would be okay with that so broadly he'd be fine. upset but fine. but if only hannibal survived the fall he'd shatter. he'd come undone. he'd crack so throughly and entirely that he'd become a shell of himself. but that would also be fine because if only hannibal survived the fall he'd kill himself immediately

I wish to be as attractive as your art style. You really do just make everyone hot.

well you'd only be pixels on a cold screen with no marks or history or warmth, which to me personally doesn't sound so hot. If I could capture a whole person as if real life (with different wrinkles and marks and hair and fat distribution and hues of colour and expressions) every time I draw, I would. You exist like that already, so if anything my artstyle wants to be like you.

Having the Pool Dream again, handsome?

So much of the narrative around the trans experience centers around pain, dysphoria, and negativity. We have to plead using these desperate expressions of our own suffering as a way to receive some baseline decency. This pain is very real, but it can become consuming.

Fuck that. Let's get some trans joy in here.

To those further along in your transition- do you remember the first time you looked in the mirror and liked what you saw?

To those earlier in your transition- remember, you have this to look forward to. Treasure that hope <3

everyone say congratulations to the first time homeowners!

edit: i may or may not have been inspired to write some headcanons based on this, if you're interested

Uhhhhhhhhhh.... so, I'm back? 

It's been a long time, hehe, I'm kinda embarrassed for disappearing so suddenly but I got really sick for like 2 month and wasn't even able to get up from my bed properly (my brain is really mean to me sometimes) 

But hey, here I am with another gepo post (and a shitty comic I spend too much time to my liking) 

Was really inspired by that one “YOU KICK MIETTE” post by Patricia Lockwood and, as our favorite blueberry haired boi is like a mischievous cat to me, it kinda clicked  

Behold! A manipulative I-pretend-to-be-stupid-when-it-is-convenient Sampo and a very confused Gepard