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#sometimes i wish i had english class too so that i could bond more w my classmates but also i have always hated english class dynamics and i
floralbfs · 3 years
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every single day i am thankful for the fact that i presented the toefl last semester and thus fulfilled my english credits and thus don't need to take daily english classes
#they only last an hour but every day i am thankful for my 11-12 break and sometimes i dont realise not everyone has that free hour#because theyre in english class😭😭#sometimes i wish i had english class too so that i could bond more w my classmates but also i have always hated english class dynamics and i#love my free time too much to jeopardize it in any way#also i forgot how i was so proud for getting an almost perfect score on the toefl lmaoooooo#my literal only pride falls on my english skills how sad is that </3 jshfjsbdjsbf#anyways today i woke up sick and if i hadn't freed up english id be in english class right now and i think i would die#esp bc in other classes i can just lay there and screenshot stuff or whatever but in english class id have to speak or participate or whatev#luckily i am only listening to got7 rn <3#i made my bed and now im lying down and maybe ill take econ class here sndbsndbns#every day i fear my professors will find out im lying when i say i cant turn on my camera bc of bad wifi#i usually turn on my camera and sometimes it rly isnt a lie bc my wifi sucks but also sometimes u just need to sit there w/o the pressure of#potentially being seen by everyone in ur class u know????#ok im going to close my eyes now im going to collapse ksbdnsbdjs even tho im already lying down👁️👄👁️ freaky.... skbdnsbdn jk#anyways like i get the objective necessity of speaking english efficiently but whyyyyyyy obligatory english????#why wld u want ur students to suffer :((((#yes i love english and it was part of my growing love for languages and stuff yes i hate english with all my guts we exist#honey talk#anyways if ure forced by ur school to take english (or another language but im talking mainly abt english and also this doesn't rly apply#for usa maybe?) i wish u a very pleasant anti english revolution i am only kind of kidding <3#also el mes o algo así que tuve así de que clase de inglés obligatoria antes de poder tomar el toefl..... hell.#literalmente me dió una hueva horrible y odié todo y después de que ya había hecho el toefl me enteré que tenía como 15 faltas libres (menos#de las clases que tomé en sí antes del toefl) y creo que siempre cargaré ese dolor#also like ive been the teacher's favorite in like 99% of the english classes ive been in and theyre mostly very nice but why are they all#Like That.....#also i just remembered the english teacher i had for like a week with whom i picked a fight before the first class properly even started....#i am so sorry for being so fucking awful ma'am i promise if u gave me classes again i wouldn't paint my nails and then give u shit about it#i promise i have grown now i have stopped going out with my bad influences i hope ur family is ok ma'am however i still think your views#were rancid and you were racist and classist please do better ma'am im glad u werent my teacher for more than a week i would have been awful#ok got off topic there sjdhsnbdjs i carry burdens i ignore
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beauzoleils · 4 years
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ABIGAIL  COWEN ,  CISFEMALE ,  SHE / HER    →   according  to  the  school  records ,  NATALIE  LUCILLE  BEAUSOLEIL  has  been  attending  sacred  heart  for  the  past  three  years .  i  last  saw  them   hanging  around  the  john  bracken  library  ;  i  think  they  were  working  on  writing  her  novel .  at  twenty - one  years  old ,  natalie  has  been  studying  english  literature  and  get  this ,  i   heard  that  she’ll  zone  out  while  writing  papers  for  class  and  come  to  surrounded  by  pages  and  pages  full  of  archaic  languages  she  doesn’t  speak   —   figure  it’s  true ?  everyone  around  here  always  associates  them  with  a  moonlight  sonata  echoing  through  empty  halls ,  seats  in  the  back  row  at  the  opera ,  and  dead  flowers  pressed  between  the  pages  of  an  old  book .  in  the  time  since  these  strange  happenings ,  they  have  encountered  unexplained  occurrences .     
HI ,  hello .  i’m  hannah  n  this  is  like .  the  only  thing  i’ve  been  thinking  about  recently ,  aka  i’m  so  excited .  ok  anyway !  i’m  20 ,  kickin  it  in  the  est !  i’m  a  full  time  student  ( majoring  in  being  a  dumb  bitch  n  gay  rights  and  i’m  at  the  top  of  my  class  baby . . )  and  i’m  ALSO  a  preschool  teacher  so  if  i’m  ever  Not  here ,  i’m  with  my  babies  ! !  but  that  isn’t  the  reason  why  ur  all  here . .   ur  here  for  an  intro  post !  so !  
let’s  talk  abt  my  girl . . .  𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐄  𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐔𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐈𝐋 !
okay .  so .  first  thing’s  first .  i  have  some  Real  Things  prepared  for  my  girl ,  including  but  not  limited  to :
a  pinterest  board !
a  stats  page !
and  what  i  call  NATALIE :  A  TRAGEDY  IN  THREE  ACTS .  it’s  kind  of  a  bio ,  mixed  in  with  some  stage  directions  here  and  there .  it’s  a  quick  read  n  rly  gives  you  that  Natalie  Flavor  if  you  know  what  i  mean . .  so  if  you  feel  so  inclined  n  wanna  take  a  look . .  but  full  disclosure  it  rly  does  hit  different  than  just  reading  this  intro 
anyway !  i’ll  give  a  more  condensed  version  of  her  bio  here  n  some  info  abt  her  personality  n  some  random  headcanons . .  etc !
𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓  𝐈 :  𝑨 𝑯𝑰𝑺𝑻𝑶𝑹𝒀
alright  SO .  our  girl  natalie  was  born  on  april  13 ,  1952  to  michel  and  colette  beausoleil .  it  was  a  thursday ,  and  it  was  ALSO  eleven  weeks  before  colette’s  due  date ,  so  we  all  know  that  can’t  be  good 
( spoiler  alert :  it  wasn’t )
natalie  was  supposed  to  be  a  twin ,  but  the  other  baby  ( a  boy  named  pierre )  didn’t  survive .  they  didn’t  think  that  natalie  would ,  but  she did !  unfortunately ,  her  parents  were  too  wounded  by  the  loss  of  their  other  baby  and  it  was  all grieving  and  no  celebrating .  
also .  there’s  more  info  abt  her  parents  n  how  they  met  in  the  bio  but ,  a  sparknotes  version  is  that  michel  was  a  playwright  in  paris  and  colette  was  a  ballerina / his  muse  and  they  rushed  into  a  marriage 
michel  made  it  rly  big  a  couple  yrs  after  natalie  was  born  and  so  they  decided  to  use  that  $ $ $  to  send  natalie  away  to  an  expensive  boarding  school  in  london  called  our  lady  of  sacred  suffering .  it  was ,  of  course ,  a  catholic  girls  boarding  school  and  natalie  hated  it  there
but  they  hated  natalie  there  bc  she  was  just  the  WORST  catholic  school  girl  of  all  time ,  so  it  was  mutual
meanwhile ,  her  relationship  w  her  parents  is . .  very  complicated .  her  dad  is  just  kind  of  The  Worst  across  the  board ,  very  reliant  on  drinking ,  definitely  got  into  drug  use  at  some  point ,  had  lots  of  affairs  with  the  young  actresses  in  his  plays .  and  colette  was  just . .  very  sad  and  very  absent  so  the  support  was  Minimal
natalie  has  a  lot  of  issues  that  are  all  rooted  in  her  childhood  tbh .
somewhere  along  the  way ,  she  found  a  deep  passion  for  Writing  and  developed  this  sense  of  purpose  and  for  a  minute  things  were  going  very  well 
which  we  all  know  means  things  are  about  to  get  WORSE . 
on  her  eighteenth  birthday ,  natalie  receieves  a  card  in  the  mail  from  her  mother  for  the  First  Time  Ever .  and  she  immediately  is  like .  huh .  well .  something  is  Wrong .
she’s  right .
( tw :  nondescript  mentions  of  car  crashes  &  death )
a  week  later ,  she  receives  word  that  her  parents  were  involved  in  a  serious  car  accident  at  the  pont  de  l’alma  tunnel  in  paris  and  her  did  not  survive  the  accident .
( end  tw )
her  mother’s  family  is  not  convinced  that  michel  should  walk  away  from  this  without  blame  and  decides  to  take  legal  action  against  him  and  get  him  convicted  with  a  more  serious  charge  than  just  manslaughter . 
they  promise  to  keep  natalie  out  of  it  as  much  as  possible  but  when  it  comes  time  to  testify  as  to  whether  or  not  michel  had  a  history  of  not  caring  about  colette’s  life  and  well - being ,  the  only  one  who  can  speak  to  it  is  natalie .
so  she  testifies  and  it’s  her  testimony  that  is  the  metaphorical  nail  in  the  coffin .  
( tw :  suicide  mention )
michel  knows  it ,  too .  that’s  what  natalie  thinks .  he  turns  up  dead  in  his  jail  cell  the  day  before  he’s  supposed  to  be  sentenced .  she  never  knows  if  he  deserved  the  life  sentence  he  was  going  to  be  given .
( end  tw ) 
so  then !  she’s  an  orphan !  but  she  does  gain  control  over  everything  that  her  parents  left  behind ,  which  turns  out  to  be  a  lot .  
she  sells  their  house  in  paris ,  goes  to  wales  to  begin  university ,  and  hasn’t  gone  back  since  then .  but  like ,  she  grew  up  in  london  for  the  most  part  so  she’s  not  exactly  sad  about  being  away  from  paris  and  all  the  ghosts  there .
and  now  she’s  at  sacred  heart ,  working  on  writing  her  debut  novel ,  which  is  the  ( albeit ,  dramatized  and  fictionalized )  story  of  her  parents !
𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓  𝐈𝐈 :  𝑨  𝑺𝑼𝑴𝑴𝑨𝑹𝒀 .
so  basically ,  she’s  got  issues .
fictional  character  inspo  includes :  jo  march ,  alaska  young ,  cheryl  blossom
if  you  know  anything  abt  astrology . .  she’s  an  aries  sun ,  mercury ,  and  venus . .  and  a  scorpio  moon  and  mars . .  and  a  gemini  rising . .  i’m  so  sorry JKDSFM
she’s  very  emotional  but  does  a  super  good  job  of  hiding  it  and  keeping  all  those  emotions  ( esp  the  intense  n  darker  ones )  buried  away . .  deep  down  where  no  one  could  see  it
the  minute  that  ppl  kind  of  ? ?  but  two  and  two  together  n  realize  who  she  is  ( bc . .  in  my  head . .  her  dad’s  whole  trial  was  kind  of .  A  Thing  that  the  public  knew  abt . )  they’re  probably  rly  concerned  w  Little  she  shows  any  real  emotion  to  the  whole  thing . 
rly  she’s  just  the  queen  of  compartmentalizing  n  repressing !
she’s  very . .  Assertive .  like ,  when  she  wants  something  she’s  going  to  do  whatever  it  takes  to  get  her  way  
very  Very  reckless .  she’s  like . .  so  fucking  impulsive  that  it  physically  Pains  me  sometimes .
she’s  very  smart  but  like .  More  So ,  she’s  very  clever  and  very  sharp  with  her  words .  a  very  fast  thinker  and  a  very  loud  talker 
someone  please . .  tell  her  to  stop  yelling .  she  needs  to  Relax . 
she’s  very  charming  i’ll  say  it .  n  like ?  seems  cool ?  the  kind  of  person  that  you  meet  and  immediately  want  to  hang  out  w  them .  
very  flirty ,  has  always  used  that  charming  smile  of  hers  to  get  ppl  in  her  corner  and  she’s  not  gonna  stop  now !  she’s  very  good  at  making  ppl  feel  special  
but  like .  she  means  well  most  of  the  time  sdkfj  her  heart  is  in  the  right  place  okay
big  time  trust  issues .  big  time  commitment  issues .  painfully  independent  and  refuses  to  let  anyone  know  how  much  she  cares  about  them  until  she’s  like . .  Really  sure  that  they  aren’t  going  to  hurt  her
also  very  afraid  of  hurting  people ,  which  is  another  reason  why  she  struggles  to  get  attached  to  people .  she  definitely  has  this  deep - rooted  fear  that  Bad  Things  follower  her  and  she  doesn’t  want  to  drag  ppl  into  that
it’s  literally  a  toss - up  as  to  whether  she’s  going  to  seem  like  she’s  demanding  ur  attention  or  entirely  disinterested  in  it .  bc  she’s  all  over  the  place . 
but  like .  i’m  an  emotional  BITCH  so  she’s  probably  going  to  end  up  being  100000%  softer  than  i  intend  bc  i  project  too  much  soft  bitch  energy  onto  my  characters  Always .
𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓  𝐈𝐈𝐈 :  𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑵𝑬𝑪𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑺 .
so  many  things .  literally ,  anything .  just  a  disclaimer ,  if  u  read  thru  this  and  had  An  Idea  then  like .  yes  Pls  tell  me ,  i  want  it  xoxo 
but  here  are  some  i  have  up  in  the  old . .  noggin .
EXES .  please ,  please . .  for  the  love  of  GOD  give  me  some  angsty  exes  nonsense .  do  you  need  someone  who  broke  ur  characters  heart ?  consider  natalie  UR  GIRL .  she’s  Emotionally  Damaged  and  has  the  capacity  to  be  the  angstiest  ex  of  all  time ,  okay ?
give  her  a  weakness .  she  needs  someone  who  she’s  Actually  vulnerable  around  and  actually  sees  her  have  emotions  and  knows  she’s  not  just  this  huge  Mess  all  the  time
i  rly  want  someone  that  is  like .  from  the  same  ( ish )  bg  as  her  in  the  sense  that  like . .  they  also  were  surrounded  by  nice  clothes  n   expensive  private  schools  n  Luxury  but  like .  they  Thrive  in  it  the  way  natalie  used  to  wish  that  she  could .  n  just .  i  think  it  would  b  a  super  interesting  dynamic  bc  they  would  just !  clash !  so  intensely ! !  n  tbh  nat  would  probably  b  lowkey  jealous  Still  n .  spicy !
@ all  those  ppl  who  are  into  theatre :  i’m  Dying  for  some  connections  of  ppl  who  knew / knew  of  her  father  n  would  know  what  happened  w  him  perhaps  on  a  deeper  level  than  ppl  who  read  it  in  the  newspaper  a  few  yrs  ago . .  ( bonus  points  if  they  lowkey  idolized / looked  up  to  her  dad  bc  thats  a  Big  Mess  and  could  b  spicy  as  fuck  to  explore ,  u know ? ) 
idk  if  any  of  y’all  have  characters  who  grew  up  in / around  paris ?  but  if  there  are . .  then  Perhaps  someone  who  knew  her  in  her  youth ?
okay .  not  to  be  Trash  but  like .  i  rly  want  her  to  have  a  dynamic  that’s  jo  x  laurie  adjacent ?  do  they  have  to  be  in  love  w  her ?  no !  i  just  want someone  that  has  that  genuine  bond  w  her  and  they  care  abt  each  other  n  goof  around  n  like . .  i’m  already  getting  soft  on  main ,  huh , ,
she’s  soo  fucking  messy  that  like . .  all  the  messy  fwb / frenemies  with  benefits / one  night  stand  type  of  plots . .  yes  pls 
i  always  want  there  to  b  a  badass  girl  squad  like .  a  group  of  ladies  n  theydies  that  take  no  shit  n  get  in  fights  for  each  other  n  rly  truly  ride  or  die  w  each  other . .  we  can  workshop  the  name  ok  but  for  now ?  my  girl  squad  is  open  for  applications 
okay .  let  me  cut  myself  off  right  there  but  i’ll  leave  you  with  my  WANTED  CONNECTIONS  TAG  n  also  again  i’m 10000%  okay  to  just  brainstorm  out  something  else  completely  if  its  what  ur  feeling !
if  u  read  all / any  of  this . .  i  love  u . <3  either hmu on discord ( let's go 𝓁𝑒𝓈𝒷𝒾𝒶𝓃𝓈 ! #6227 ) ksdjfskm  OR !  like  this  n  i  will  come  to  u !  okay ,  that’s  all ,  bye 
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strawberryybird · 5 years
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So whats your favorite thing about each of your fe3h favs? Anything you could just go on a long rant about for any of them? or interactions between them that you wish had happened or wanted to happen.
Waking up in the morning and going through all of the drunk blogging and “-thank-u-for-weathering-my-deep-need-to-be-liked-and-given-attention-off-main-I-guess” if this isn’t a whole mood on its own I don’t know what is. Anyways it sounds like you had fun and it was definetly fun reading everything. I hope you are feeling okay the day after everything. And to tack on a random question which fe3h character would you want to get drunk with if it was just the two of you?
Hi Hello!! thank u for enjoying my drunk blogging !!! and for the asks!!! (and the lovely comments on my fics actually hi there ur wonderful!!!) i’m currently cursing the damage i’ve done to my sleep schedule and suffering under my (truly deserved) hangover lmao ;p apologies u don’t get drunk me, only uncaffeinated hangover me, but we talk to the same degree and make the same spelling errors lol
ah yes.. im a fountain of moods (all of u still with me here are saints hhhh)
ok content time:
the second one first: i absolutely want to get drunk with ferdinand von aegir. the man’s a hop, skip and a vodka shot away from a mess. i love him. he’d be full of conversation and would buy the rounds every time as a true nobleman should !! he’d probably be really good at instigating drinking games but horrible at playing them.. i love party gay ferdie von aegir.
i’m going to LIMIT the faves i list because truly i love them all very much but i have to at least pretend i have some restraint and i don’t want to make this even More of a wall of text it’s going to become . SO 
edit: ok i started writing this at like. half ten pm. when the fuck did it become monday. 
edit edit: Disclaimer time: these are my conclusions and my conclusions alone. I’m not saying I’m objectively right or correct. I’m very much approaching this from an English Lit-ish point of view because that’s just how I look at a lot of media. I’m not asserting my opinions or conclusions as the only viable to interpret this media, and if anything I say offends you then I am sorry, it was not my intention but I acknowledge that I have hurt you. This is not the exhaustive list of my thoughts on the whole thing, there’s a lot more depth and detail I didn’t go in to.
My favourite thing about Edelgard is the Everything, but notably I really love her proud nature and how in VW it quite directly gets her *spoilered*, and in CF it’s integral to her success (bc it’s her own rigidity within herself that keeps her standing i think) and I Like Tragic Characters (and it’s very elinor dashwood). because it’s one of the qualities that can throw her character into a villainous light & it’s really interesting !! but at the same time.. it’s not quite ‘pride’ purely, and it’s kinda the wrong word. it’s some mixture of determined/stubbon, anger, self-reliance, and that really hard veneer of personality u develop when you’re around people who aren’t healthy for you to be around, and the very very critical need to be right about the choices you made because the weight of the  consequences would kinda ruin you if you weren’t. (the dean winchester effect huh) and wrap that up together with a big scoop of ‘i believe my way is right’ (’and my way Has to be right’) and then u get a lot of what i LOVE about Edelgard’s character
My favourite thing about Dorothea is really how she was the character that Hated the war. genuinely the contrast between white clouds dorothea & timeskip dorothea Breaks My Heart EVery Time I See Her !!!!! that and Spoilers!!! (her last words in AM unrecruited is edelgards name and i literally had to stop and cry about it for five minutes.) she’s one of the characters that post-war doesn’t have a Massive political stake in the war - like there’s her anger towards the current class system (another reason i bloody love her PLEASE give me angry feminine characters) but i think it’s her bonds with edie (or byleth&whoever if recruited) that keep her actually fighting in the war & it’s kinda different and i like that (actually i think she parallels/sends up/contrasts really really nicely with mercedes in that way)
my favourite thing about Marianne is just everything. how she finds worth within herself if you play VW (and the very very harrowing hc that she didn’t if you don’t), how she’s full of a quiet rage for the crest system but you eek it out of her as you play the game. how she’s still loved by the deers despite her appalling mental health (fight me on that canon) and the game essentially has her ‘save’ herself by finding worth and life within herself. i love her so much ok. (i also love her because she committed identity theft.. she and i share a name with the second dashwood sister oho (but i don’t use that name on the internet hhh) (also because my favourite shakespeare play is king lear (no really it is), my birthday is in red wolf moon too, i used to have very long hair i wore in a plait most days for school, little 11 and 17 year old me acted Exactly like white clouds marianne did & genuinely i love marianne von edmund to pieces but God it hurts to see her in game sometimes bc her journey mirrors a lot of mine & i love this character. so much.) WOW that was a lot. am i sure im not still drunk
so claude is not only one of my favourite characters in the whole damn game, but also shares the name of one of my favourite painters so i simply have to love him ;p however i can’t give a proper opinion on him yet because i haven’t finished playing deers yet :( but !! i love how (as is with all the lords) he has a veneer of personality to him, but in contrast to Edie where it’s quite seemless with her actual personality, Claude’s veneer of personality seems very opaque and plastered on. i may or may not just be wildly imagining things but he’s a very different personality in his lower supports with Lysithea than he is in his B support with Marianne, for instance. like, i love characters that are obviously a lot more socially intelligent than i could ever be, and claude is *chef kiss* BEAUTIFUL ON EVERY LEVEL.
i’d wax lyrical about Ingrid too but honestly there’s many better people out there with the good ingrid content than i could do. shortly, i love the New Take on the pegasus knight archetype she brings, and i really like her perspective on femininity !!! she’s such a good character & she brings so much to the game and to the pegasus knight character too!!!!! she’s such a bright personality and altho i wish so many of her supports weren’t centred around make-up (hhh dorogrid fans i pray for you), i think she’s really going to pave the way for whoever’s next in that character slot. (like, you can’t tell me she’s not an offshoot of Phila from awakening lmao)
no ok i’m adding in Hubert because i love this vampire man. i really really love the devoted servant archetype and we all know i love edelgard’s tragedy. and i love hubert. so much. the way he enables edelgard in pretty much everything is just so so interesting to think about, and i love his intensity about it. he’s like the ever present reminder that edelgard’s will kinda has to work otherwise the potential consequences of her being wrong are personified in hubert imo. it’s only touched on in VW in his letter but like. god i wish we got more but it’s a wonderful starting block. i love his comic relief as well, he’s such a fun character to have !!!! and also i have so many hubert fics in my bookmarks that just Get him. i love hubert. oh i love hubert.
i’m going to cut myself off there because . that’s just a LOT. 
as for characters i would sell a limb to have them talk to each other, honestly it’s Edelgard/Marianne. (and only 51% because of all the projection i have going on with those two ok don’t at me i  k n o w). that support chain would be too powerful and honestly i wish they had one becuauese it would have gone so Hard about what Edelgard was doing and what Marianne thought about it, and how they connected over it & they probably would have had their supports set over cups of tea or smth .. it would have been amazing. 
(but i’d rather have nothing than an awakening-level-content support where they talk about eating fucking bear meat instead of talking about how they grew to trust each other with and their ability to save the fate of the world HUH AWAKENING. (i’m salty about fredrobin forever)
also hilda/dorothea supports . we were robbed. they’re best friends and you can’t actually tell me otherwise. they run the disaster bi chat of garreg mach. honestly i just would Love a support chain for them that starts with them talking about self care routines and something really small like accessories or perfume and it goes into how self-esteem and how dorothea has to find the same worth in herself as hilda so easily can. (hilda’s the queen of self esteem she’s a babe) and in CF they could have dialogue and then we cry about it. and in SS they talk about how they both chose their place with Byleth and not at edie/claude’s side like i’m just free balling here it could be Anything and i’d love it. 
also big shocker .. dorothea/marianne supports . they both hate themselves in their profile CAN THEY PLEASE CHAT. 
also i accidentally fell in love with the claude/edelgard ship and i desperately need them to interact on the same level that edie and dimitri get to because.. aren’t there supposed to be three main characters huh intsys .. and like i get what the game goes for with two of the lords embroiled in a personal war against each other at the heart and the third actually finding something close to the truth because he’s not involved in age old grudge matches but at the same time That’s one of the things that really really falls flat for me in the game. dimitri’s villain is edie, edie’s villain is big dragon wife, claude’s villain is the lack of communication that everyone in fodlan suffers from apparently. lack of communication and lies. ymmv with what im saying rn but i would have preferred if all three lords had strong personal ties to each other and in Each Route it was brought up. or just snip dimitri’s dialogue out of CF because i have beef with how that WHOLE moment went down on so many accounts hhhh honestly it makes me angerey to think about lol
.. back on topic- can the lords pls talk to each other because it would be SO interesting in white clouds and i like seeing how their personality presentations clash
also . can i marry manuela yet. my crops are dying here.
.. im so sorry about this but it’s midnight and i’m too tired to edit so. have this. thank you so much for the questions!!!! very kind (and brave) of you to ask me!!!!! i had a lot of fun writing all of this & as always if anything you didn’t quite /get/ i’m happy to re-explain myself!! :)
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aro-aizawa · 4 years
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anyways, since the idea won’t leave me alone here’s my pitch for a prince of the galra keith au where lotor doesn’t exist and canon is just a suggestion i guess. (under a cut part ways in bc uhhh it’s like 3.7k words. rip.)
for starters: krolia is human and zarkon’s his dad. a nightmare idea, i know bc uhhhh the same thing that occurs w thinking about how lotor exists is uhh “zarkon fucks?” yeah. yeah he does. which uhhhhh yeah. but bare w me here, bc he’s still an utter dick in this au and krolia is still a badass. 
in this au, krolia was married to mr shirogane and had shiro before leaving earth on a garrison solo mission to pluto. she collided with a stolen galra ship manned by a prisoner who was trying to flee the empire, though the galra ship wasn’t damaged her ship was completely destroyed but she managed to survive for the prisoner to bring her aboard. together they tried to escape the empire, but they got caught. the prisoner was executed and krolia was taken to the arena. 
(earth believes she crashed her ship in the rings of saturn, and honor her death. no solo manned missions to space anymore, and certainly not to places humans haven’t been before. it also delays plans to send more people up there, so the next manned mission isn’t until shiro’s mission to kerberos. mr shirogane dies a five years before that mission.)
there she fought viciously and won literally every single one of her fights with only a dagger she’d earned early on in her battles. even when they provided bigger weapons, she always came on top with just a knife which earned her high praise and approval. enough to gain zarkon’s attention. 
idk why but he forces her to marry him, and when shiro’s 9 years old and krolia’s been in space for 5 years, keith’s born. he doesn’t actually go by keith at this point though because i doubt zarkon would let krolia name him that. not quite sure on what he’d go by though i quite like kyix of discordiansamba’s burgundy. krolia wanted to name him keith, and so calls him that when they’re alone as a secret nickname. 
keith doesn’t look fully human. a la lotor style i guess, he looks human but has purple skin and yellow sclera. pointy zarkon-ish ears and fangs. he’s still tiny as fuck though and doesn’t grow, to which he’s furious about bc galra are big and he’s a shorty but no one mentions it to his face otherwise he’d stab them right where they stand. 
krolia tries her best to raise him w good morals and lessen zarkon’s influence on him but she doesn’t fully manage it. he’s willing to please zarkon even if he’s not cruel about it, and he does wish for the best for the empire but knowing that his father’s reigned for over ten thousand years, he knows he’s probably never going to sit on the throne himself. doesn’t prevent him from getting all the training a prince would need (including a lot of combat training). 
he’s never told much about earth because krolia finds it hard to talk about. she does tell him about humans as a species and teaches him the three earth languages she knows, korean (her native language), japanese (mr shirogane’s native language) and english. she especially doesn’t tell him about shiro, but she does say that she left a husband and her family behind on earth, that she misses them a lot. 
back on earth, shiro goes to kerberos when he’s 26 (two years older than canon) and they still get caught. most canonical events in the year time zone go almost exactly the same. shiro gets sent to the arena, matt and sam still get sent off to the camps before matt’s broken out by the resistance, katie goes undercover as pidge, and lance and hunk are just regular dudes, but lance is in fighter class straight off the bat. 
(to earth, shiro crashes the ship and dies just like his mother did. which is......all kinds of sad to think about.)
except when shiro lands on earth, the garrison trio decide to break shiro out on their own. they then steal a jeep and head out into the desert, finding a nice guy who owns a shack (canon keith’s father but not in this au, who im gonna call mr fireman bc he doesn’t have a canon name). he’s been doing some investigating some funky stuff (the lion), and lets the kids crash at his place bc kids shouldn’t be wandering the desert w/o any supplies at night it’s dangerous. 
anyways, the shack conversation all goes almost exactly the same w mr fireman taking keith’s place. he goes with the kids, but he doesn’t get in the blue lion, she doesn’t let him in. mr fireman parts ways with the kids friendly-like, and the four of them head off to arus. 
things.....largely? stay the same? when it comes to stealing the red lion off the ship, they actually have to get the lions to drag it out of the cargo bay because they don’t have a pilot for it but as long as the lion is out of the empire’s hands, that’s all that matters although allura does try to pilot it when sendak’s ship is destroyed. due to having no pilot, they can’t retrieve black for shiro. so they only have three active lions, but three lions are still pretty powerful. 
from there i haven’t exactly worked out all the kinks but somehow they get in contact with rebels from their steady liberation of galra-controlled planets. they do small targets, taking out the weakest on the fringe of the empire and build up footholds while building the coalition. shiro fights with them on the ground, and using the castle with coran and allura when it’s not possible. sometimes he rides along with the other paladins. 
sometime before they go the galactic hub, and skipping over crystal venom entirely, they join forces with the rebels and the coalition to pull off a mission to kill zarkon. they’d received intelligence to suggest that he’s visiting a less secure ship, to oversee a project for a few days. instead of taking the lions and just blasting the ship to pieces, they decide to infiltrate and take him out stealth like to guarantee his death. 
only the information is faulty because it’s keith there instead of zarkon. 
when they learn that keith is zarkon’s son.......they kidnap him. 
their goal was to hold him hostage and/or interrogate him for weak spots in the empire, but somehow they end up thinking “hm maybe he can be redeemed bc his dad is literally an asshole and ehhh he can’t help who his parents are?” so they give him a chance....tentatively. 
keith, seeing this huge opportunity to sabotage his father’s greatest opponents and eventually steal the lions back for his father, takes this absolutely for granted and fakes his redemption. he basically pulls a lotor, and ends up helping them in certain areas but sabotaging them in others. he’s unable to report back to his father for spying purposes, but he does leave clues and/or hints to weaknesses somehow. all the while, the real reason for these things going wrong isn’t thought of. 
all the while, the paladins are trying to bond with keith. trying to get him to redeem himself, and they end up really liking him even though he’s still rather a loner, doesn’t pretend to be nice and trains like every day. he particularly gets along with shiro, the two of them forming a close bond that keith had not planned or counted on. 
allura is the only one who’s still suspicious of keith. she’s not....hostile. not really, she pretty much acts like she does in canon when keith’s heritage gets out. though they do have a few moments where they could maybe see eye to eye. she’s still apprehensive and unwilling to think that zarkon’s son could be anything but evil. 
this pays off when she investigates a major hit to the castle that renders it unfit for battle for a time and finds that keith was responsible for it. 
at this point, keith has been seriously reconsidering his allegiances. thinking that maybe the right thing to do really was to redeem himself and help out voltron and coalition. he’s not completely blind to the shitty things zarkon did, he’s well aware but he figures that maybe getting his father’s approval isn’t worth all the suffering of others nor something to desire. 
allura attacks keith and calls him out in front of everyone. providing evidence of literally all the times that keith’s fucked them all over. the team feel betrayed, keith is super guilty, and allura’s just pissed. keith doesn’t get a chance to explain before he’s thrown into a prison cell on the castle to wait until voltron can contact the coalition and decide what to do with him because it’s clear that zarkon hasn’t exactly been hurrying to find him. 
but then zarkon attacks the castle of lions with a massive fleet headed by haggar, a force that’s way too much for just three lions to take on while the castle’s defenses are still down. the whole team is in trouble and it pretty much starts to seem like zarkon’s gonna win and the paladins are gonna get killed. 
until the red lion reaches out for keith. 
so he breaks out of prison (that he could have done within minutes of being confined there), and heads to the hangar. he jumps in and uses the element of surprise to disable the fleet enough to make them need to retreat. 
the paladins are freaking out because uhhhh who the hell is the pilot of the lion? they do a little sound off like “allura that’s not you? coran? shiro?” but then keith uses the lion to communicate and basically says “sorry i broke out jail”. 
when they get back to the castle keith awkwardly does a heartfelt explanation of his plans and how the paladins actually did sort of make him want to redeem himself and realise just how much zarkon needs to get murked and stuff. he apologises for fucking them over and he even offers to go with whatever punishment they decide to dish out with no retaliation. 
the team go off and talk for a while. debating if they could really trust him anymore. allura is adamantly against it, pissed off that he’d already betrayed her trust after all zarkon did and the fact he piloted her father’s lion. lance joins her, upset he trusted him at all. pidge and hunk are apprehensive, pointing out that the lion must have seen the good in him to choose him. shiro believes in what keith’s saying and has faith in the kid to actually redeem himself. 
they tell him he can stay but the only reason he’s not dead and/or serving time in prison is bc he’s the red paladin. they make a lot of rules about what he’s allowed to do and not to do though, which keith doesn’t enjoy but he doesn’t complain about them. one of them is that he’s only allowed to fight the empire in the red lion and no on the ground stuff. 
now that the team have the red lion’s paladin they awaken the black lion and they form voltron for the first time. it’s badass, and the liberating of planets goes even faster than before. 
the paladins start to bond again even slower than before bc they need to rebuild that trust. it goes....pretty rockily considering the fact that keith is still pretty prickly in personality, and the others aren’t entirely convinced he’s actually changed sides. but shiro is essentially the only one that actually makes any headway in rebuilding the trust/relationship. 
one night he asks about keith’s mom. bc human far out in space? as far as the team knew there should have only been them and the holts, so he’s definitely curious. keith tells him about a pilot who’d been picked up in their solar system after their ship got destroyed and took them as prisoner. he tells shiro all about his mom and what she taught him of earth. 
but shiro. he starts to wonder who on earth this pilot was. because, uh, only very few pilots have gone missing in space and one of them is important to him. so he asks her name. keith replies krolia. shiro asks “as in...krolia kogane?” and keith’s like yeah. 
shiro mentally freaks out, doing mental acrobats all over the place but his thoughts mostly boiling down to a mixture of “HOLY SHIT MY MOM’S ALIVE” and “HOLY SHIT I HAVE A HALF-BROTHER WHO’S AN ALIEN PRINCE”. he manages not to let keith know he’s freaking out, and excuses himself. 
they end up doing a covert blood test and yup keith is shiro’s half brother. this earns him points in “okay yeah he’s capable of change if we warm up to him”, so the team start to treat him more favorably, not that keith is aware of this new revelation. so it’s common knowledge to the ship minus keith. shiro tries even harder to bond w his little brother, bc uhhh yeah he’s never had a little brother and he definitely likes keith so far even though he was a little evil for a while. 
keith at some point expresses to shiro why he’s fine with not telling zarkon that keith’s on the paladins’ side. that his mother would most likely be killed for turning him against zarkon due to the fact that paladins are humans, and that she’s still at central command completely unable to get away. like a glorified prisoner because, well, she is. 
shiro suggests to the team that they pull off a rescue mission to free krolia, not only for keith’s sake but for shiro’s sake too. plus the fact that she’d been a prisoner for twenty three years. which then kicks of the finale of season 1. (yes we’re still in season 1. it should have been way longer than it actually was.)
things go largely the same, except that in allura’s place it’s krolia. when keith charges at zarkon his identity is revealed to him. they manage to rescue krolia, keith fights zarkon and thace destroys the shield holding them in place. they don’t go through a corrupted wormhole though. 
then there’s a cute heartfelt reunion between keith and krolia. during which keith emotes more than he ever has in front of the paladins, who have pretty much all accepted that yep keith’s a good guy now considering he almost fought to the death with zarkon. 
but then shiro steps up and calls krolia mom which confuses the fuck out of keith, the only one who doesn’t know. krolia shakily says “Kashi?” and they tearfully hug, krolia completely caught off guard that her other son wasn’t on earth where she left him. keith is confusion until krolia explains, and keith asks if that means shiro is his brother. they say yes and they have a big old threeway hug, to which lasts for like an hour because its big family bonding time. everyone is happy for them.
you’d think, huh is this the end of the au? this is pretty long already.....nope!! we’re just getting started!!! (this thing is a monster......hence why im never going to even attempt to write it out lmao)
we go into season 2 where krolia starts to talk to the others about the rebel galra group that she helped and kind of joined called the blade of marmora. she tells them that there was a galra named thace who kept her in the loop about keith, and the goings on of voltron. she tells them that they would be a very good ally in the fight against zarkon. 
shiro then backs this story up with his memory of how ulaz helped him escape jail, and says that they should trust them. the team tentatively agree, but decide not to immediately go to them and focus more on building the coalition. krolia pulls keith aside and gives them a knife that they had given her to protect herself as zarkon prohibited her to carry weapons. its keith’s marmora blade that she was unable to activate because of her lack of galra blood, but they gave it to her to protect herself anyways. 
canon largely stays the same for a while. zarkon still does the tracking thing, except when allura and keith go out in a pod, krolia comes with them. they have a little thing where they make clear with each other where they stand and end up having a little fun despite the tense atmosphere until the castle is attacked by zarkon.
when the team meet up with the blades, keith demands why they didn’t help krolia themselves. they’d already proved with shiro that they could free prisoners if they wanted to, and demands to know why they didn’t risk it for krolia. he wants to know why they never took a bigger part in taking down the empire and why they never stepped forwards to work with voltron themselves instead of letting the team come to them. 
kolivan says that he only gets the answers, an alliance between them and gets to keep the blade if he joins as a member of their order and take the trials. keith accepts. the rest of the blades however, don’t like the idea that the son of zarkon was joining up and taking the trials. but when keith passes and pretty much immediately tries to kill memory zarkon on sight, he proves himself to them. the blades ally with the coalition and voltron. 
again, season 2 goes quite a lot like canon. except!!! in the finale they actually do end up killing zarkon along with haggar and shiro doesn’t go missing! hurray!!! 
but. that means with no prince lotor, and a dead zarkon instead of comatose zarkon, there’s no one to lead the empire. hence a kral zera is called. 
(here is where i mention i have vague memories of s3 onwards and haven’t seen past s4. so i don’t...actually know how most canon events from here on out go in explicit detail. its all pretty vague.)
the plan from there is for keith to attend and win. if he gets crowned the new emperor, he could officially announce the end of the war, and significantly reduce the amount of fighting the resistance would have to do to bring peace to the known universe. the coalition & blades don’t fully trust keith however, thinking that once keith is on the throne he’ll just betray them. 
keith understands and explains he doesn’t actually want the throne. he suggests that they just kill everyone on the planet when the kral zera is called, with no more candidates, the empire will be severely fractured and would still be easier to defeat than having a leader. in the end, they go with the idea of having keith become emperor, but the coalition there in case people fight back against his orders. 
keith wins, some back down and obey and some don’t. the coalition and voltron take down those that fight back, and from there it’s a lot of “keith orders galra to release planets and those that don’t, get liberated by the resistance”. its a lot of politics where keith frees all the prisoners of the empire, lets them get back to their home planets and finds sam returning him to pidge and matt. 
he sets up a colony in an empty solar system for the civilian galra to live governed by the blades, while he sees to it that those that were soldiers are put on trial and punished for their various crimes. 
again, still not entirely sure what happens in late canon, but i guess from there it does the whole...sendak takes earth thing? but it’s actually a pretty easy mission considering they have the might of the entire coalition (which is almost the entire universe at that point) and the blades and voltron. but after the defeat of sendak there pretty much isn’t any opposing galra resistance to keith’s reign? so from then on it’s just the paladins, allura, coran and krolia back on earth experiencing things. 
krolia busts into the garrison like “hey guess who’s not dead! also meet my alien son who’s king of an entire race of people, and my other son who’s leader of the universe’s most powerful weapon also with a sick glowing arm”. the garrison sweats under the pure power and skill the three of them exude. especially when krolia utterly annihilates all records on their simulators/actual ships. and then keith and shiro join in on it too and they end up giving them all the awards and accolades bc no one is going to top that ever. 
the paladins go to disneyland. keith is still technically emperor but considering the blades have been overseeing all galra activity anyways, he’s not really needed. so he just bums around earth for a while, getting to know the other half of his heritage that he never really got to. 
krolia meets mr fireman and they end up getting together bc krolia deserves good things and a desert hermit who helped get shiro back into space and eventually to her with is a good thing. they still live out in the shack tho bc mr fireman is committed to it at that point, bc he ended up living there through sendak’s invasion pretty well. 
and then uh i think that’s pretty much it. keith is a normal teenager, allura and coran get puzzled by human shit, lance reconnects w his family, hunk does too and cooks a bunch of food and pidge works w the garrison in making it less shitty while also just tagging along with whatever dumb things they decide to experience. 
end of au!!!!
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