#something tells me Carpenter is gonna be Insufferable | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

farfaras · 1 year

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First part to this prompt I posted the other day. This is gonna be eventual steddie (sorry, stonathan) and I’m really excited. Title from the song ‘nonsense’ by Sabrina Carpenter.

I think I got an ex but I forgot him

Part 1. (You’re here)

Part 2.

If he heard the words: Robin and in love, in the same sentence, with the melodious voice of one Dustin Henderson, one more time. Steve was sure he was gonna lose it.

Listen, he understands where he’s coming from. The kid just wants him to be happy. But he is! Dustin just doesn’t seem to get that. Happiness doesn’t only come in the form of a relationship. His teenage brain can’t comprehend that fact just yet. He wishes he did though, because he’s absolutely insufferable about getting Steve and Robin together.

No excuse or explanation he gives is good enough. Dustin still insists that he needs to try, that this is his chance at true love. Robin is kind of the love of his life, sure, but the platonic love of his life. His best friend, his soulmate, sister from another mister. All that jazz. Dustin doesn’t buy it though.

And Steve’s tried everything! He even told Dustin about that time in starcourt when they were high off his asses. Told him that he confessed his crush to Robin but that she rejected him, and that they were best friends now and nothing else. He obviously left out the part where Robin came out to him. He’s never gonna reveal Robin’s secret to anyone. The only answer he got was that “It doesn’t even matter now! Things could’ve changed! You never know.” Steve knew. He knew that he would never be into his best friend like that, and she would never be into him. Apparently they were the only ones who knew that.

Because of all the fuss Dustin was constantly making, other people started giving their input. Thanks Dustin. They didn’t get it either, didn’t believe they were just Platonic with a capital P. They made sure they knew it too, the whole party, Nancy, Jonathan, Eddie. Not Argyle, he said that the energy between Steve and Robin was intense but completely friendly, almost like they were twins. Steve liked Argyle. Of course he had to be miles away.

Most of their friends dropped the subject after the second time Steve or Robin explained the nature of their relationship. Even if they weren’t convinced, they didn’t push. Except for one person. Yep. Dustin.

Who was currently harassing Steve at his job. He didn’t know what else to tell him. If family video wasn’t empty he would just ignore him to do his job but there was nothing to do. He couldn’t even sweep or anything because everything was already done.

“Okay well! There must be a good reason why you guys haven’t gotten together!” Dustin exclaimed. He is so fucking stubborn.

“I already told you, Henderson. We’re. Just. Friends.” He knew it wasn’t gonna do anything. It was just a routine at this point.

Dustin’s expression changed to determination. “Nuh uh. There’s a reason there. And I’m gonna find out!” Shit. Could Dustin figure out Robin? He doesn’t think so. But he’s starting to panic. What if he finds out? Robin doesn’t deserve that. He’d feel like it was his fault, and everything would go to shit.

“Okay! Okay! There is a reason.”

“I knew it! You have to tell me.” Dustin demanded. Well, Steve hasn’t thought that much ahead. He needs to come up with something and he needs to do it fast if Dustin is gonna believe it.

“Look, I haven’t told anyone this before.” Building suspense, nice.

Then, an idea popped into his head and it seemed like the perfect response to all of this. Or maybe it’s the only thing he could think of in such short notice. “I’m gay.” He blurts out. It made sense in his head, really. Robin doesn’t get outed, but she can still look at the reaction she might get when she comes out. (It doesn’t hold any kind of truth at all. Not one Steve can see right now at least.)

Dustin is just staring at him. “What? I don’t, you’re not, since when?”

“Since I was born?” It sounds like a question. Steve didn’t prepare for follow up questions to the reply he literally just crafted.

“There’s no way you’re gay.” At least he didn’t seem disgusted or upset? Is this a good or bad reaction?

“Are you not okay with it?” Steve dared to ask.

“What?! Of course I’m okay with it, I’m just. I don’t care, but you don’t really seem gay. It’s hard to believe.” At least he’s okay with it. He’s still being stubborn.

“Way to stereotype, Henderson.”

Dustin sputters. “Wha- can you even blame me? Who could believe you?”

The next words that came out of Steve’s mouth didn’t actually ask for permission to be said. “My boyfriend can believe it.” He said it so matter of fact that he surprised himself a little. The way he usually took the route of action before thinking was gonna bite him in the ass some day. Would that be today?

“Boyfriend?!! And you didn’t tell me? You don’t have a boyfriend!” He accused Steve. “Who is it?”

Oh. Shoot. Quick, brain. Who could be his boyfriend? Someone his age, that was single, and could be believed to be in a gay relationship.

“It’s Jonathan.” Why did he say that? He just broke up with Nancy, that would just seem like a messy situation. Also is he literally just doing what he scolded Dustin for and stereotyping?

“But he just broke up with Nancy.” Hmm. Did Dustin read his mind or something.

“It’s new. That’s why I haven’t told anyone.”

“Not even Robin?” Oh, crap. Is he gonna have to tell this to people? Well, he should probably tell Jonathan first that he is apparently in a relationship with him now.

“Not even Robin.” Dustin beamed at this.

“You know, even if you and Jonathan are kind of a weird sounding couple, and this is surprising… if you’re happy then I’m happy for you, Steve.” That was weirdly sweet of Dustin.

“Thanks, bud.”

After that and renting a movie, Dustin was on his way. He gave Steve a hug goodbye and hopped on his bike to go home.

Steve had a lot of things to get done now. And he hoped that the first one went well because he didn’t really have a plan B if it didn’t. What had he gotten himself into?

First things first. Asking Jonathan to be his fake boyfriend.

At least for a while.

What could go wrong?

Step 1. Get Jonathan to be his fake boyfriend.

Step 2. Probably get Robin in on it?

He’s not sure about that one. This situation was kind of embarrassing, he’d rather just share his embarrassment with the one person who is absolutely necessary. Also Robin doesn’t seem like the type to lie to their friends. Even if it was harmless.

Step 2. Probably get Robin in on it?

Step 2. Make a game plan.

They’d probably need to talk about how this was gonna go. Get all their facts straight in case there were any questions, which there were going to be. Plan how long this was gonna be for. He was getting a bit ahead of himself, but there was no plan B.

Step 3. Hope it’s believable.

He was already outside of the Hopper-Byers home. This shouldn’t be hard, Jonathan is a pretty understanding guy. He wouldn’t judge Steve, or make fun of him. At least that’s what Steve hoped. They’ve been developing a friendship for a while. Which has been going surprisingly well. Fuck. Was this gonna mess it up?

He got out of his car and walked to the door, knocking. El answered the door, she gave him a smile and let him in.

“Is Jonathan home?” Him asking for Jonathan wasn’t a rare occurrence nowadays, so El just nodded and pointed to his room.

He knocked to make his presence known. “Hey, Jon?” He opened the door and stepped inside the room.

“Hiya. What’s up, Harrington?” Jonathan grinned at Steve. Ah. Shit. He didn’t look completely sober. Must’ve smoked something earlier.

“Well, I wanted to talk to you. I’d rather wait until you sober up though.” Jonathan just gave him a thumbs up.

“Happy to have company.” Steve knew Jonathan was having trouble dealing with the break up. They had been together for a while and he thought that those two were gonna beat all the odds and marry each other or something. Maybe they still could find their way back to each other someday. Right now though, it probably sucked.

Nancy was off to college, Jonathan stayed here in Hawkins doing community college. There was no way of knowing how Nancy was taking it, she barely called and when she did it was kinda cut and dry. Although Steve supposed that was a way of telling she wasn’t doing so good either.

They hung out, doing nothing in particular. Just talking, listening to music and Steve sobering him up.

“Did you say you wanted to talk about something?” Jon asked. He looked sober now. Or as sober as his perpetual stoner face could look.

“Yeah… I kinda did something stupid.”

“Don’t we all.” Cute. Was he trying to make him feel better? It would’ve worked if what he did wasn’t as stupid as it was.

“No, seriously. I think this is the dumbest thing I have done.” Understatement.

“It can’t be that bad.” Jon’s words weren’t aligned with his face because it looked like he was starting to worry.

“It has something to do with you too.” With those words, Steve definitely made Jonathan start to worry. “Hear me out first!”

Retelling the events from earlier was excruciating. Steve has never felt this embarrassed before. It sounded so dumb saying it out loud.

“You really couldn’t come up with anything else? Like oh I don’t know. Saying you don’t like Robin like that?” It was like he wasn’t even listening.

“I tried that thousands of times! He wouldn’t buy it!”

“Why haven’t you just dated anyone else? To prove that you’re not hung up on her?” Interesting line of questioning. Honestly, it’s been a long time since someone has made him feel anything at all. No girl caught his attention like before. Has the upside down messed him up so bad that he can’t form romantic connections anymore?

“I just, I don’t really. Taking a break from dating sounded good to me.”

“Uh huh. Sure.” Jon didn’t believe him, whatever.

“Look I just panicked, spoke without thinking.”

“You know, I actually thought that Dustin was right about you and Robin before. But if you’re so determined to prove you’re not, to even come up with something like that.” Steve hated this. Was Jonathan getting a kick out of this?

“Are you amused? I’m kinda suffering here.” Steve lamented. “Can you just please help me?

“Oh god, what do you expect me to do? Pretend to date you to get Dustin off your back?” Yes. Please.

“Look! I only ask for a few weeks! It doesn’t have to be for long. Just, a few weeks of fake dating and then just say it didn’t work out and we decided to stay friends. All that cheesy stuff.” God, he was not being convincing at all.

Jonathan still looked skeptical. But at least he was considering it now. “I’ll owe you, big time. Whatever favor you want.” Steve offered.

Jon looked resigned now. He huffed out a breath. “I never thought my first boyfriend was gonna be Steve Harrington.”

“What?”

“Yeah. I always pictured a nerd or maybe a stoner.” He was confused now. Was Jonathan? “Yes, Steve. You should probably know if we’re gonna do this. I also like guys. And I’m assuming you’re okay with it, considering what you just asked.”

“Of course! Thanks for telling me. I’m glad you could trust me.” He was being genuine. Even if Steve was a little surprised, and now felt even more guilty about words he used in the past to insult Jonathan. All the past apologies seemed insufficient. Even so, he was happy that their friendship could develop into this.

“So? How is this gonna work? You really owe me now, you know.”

“Trust me, I know.”

So their friendship wasn’t ruined. Who knows? Maybe this could make it stronger.

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joeal-kaysani · 5 years

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@gay-halforc and i have been talking about a “flint but with prince john’s personality au” (based on this post) for like two hours and we can’t decide which one’s worse:

james adopting that persona to become flint, or

james having been that way all along

so either

he was just the normal james mcgraw in the london era

the tragedy of what happened to thomas drives him to become flint, but a far more openly gay version just to spite alfred

miranda and gates are the only two people that understand it’s an act

eleanor gets a glimpse of the real james during the oar and shovel speech but it’s fleeting and she still thinks he’s annoying

“I WILL DELIVER THEM, HAL” “I AM YOUR KING” except it’s 24/7 and cranked up to full volume

as well as his ongoing feud with charles, he also has beef with jack because he believes he stole his shtick

for the first two episodes we believe he’s actually this flamboyant hilarious asshole and it isn’t until he collapses at miranda’s house that we realize it isn’t real and start to see behind the mask

and the rumor that miranda’s a witch stems from the fact that no one believes he actually has a wife/girlfriend/female significant other

then he meets silver and they connect because they both recognize that the other is performing, but neither of them trust the other because of it

so when he tells silver “in my head, you’re not welcome” he truly means it because he realizes that silver’s getting too close and seeing past his act

but silver realizes immediately that he’s gay (of course) so there’s an awkward “god, i hate this asshole but he’s so cute” tension between them immediately that’s even worse than in canon

the combination of losing miranda and finding out that silver sacrificed his leg to save the crew (something he thought a pirate wouldn’t be capable of due to selfishness) shake him up so badly that he slips even further into the role in his mental breakdown, to the point where silver in private is like “dude, this is just an act, relax”

but there’s no one left alive that remembers who he actually is and without them the lines become so blurred nearly loses himself completely

the coming out scene over the campfire scene is hilarious but so much worse at the same time because james still acts like it’s a secret that he had a male lover and silver’s like “...... yeah” but then he shows real emotion and vulnerability for the first time and he doesn’t know how to handle it

he grows so tired of the charade that he gladly gives up that persona when he’s reunited with thomas after watching silver essentially become him and then replace him

silver!! breaks down the legend!! that is captain flint!! just to end up becoming him, not realizing that its it’s own curse and that someone will inevitably replace him too until it’s too late

thomas is the only person left who remembers james mcgraw and he helps him come back from being flint (like in canon) because in the immortal words of toby stephens, “he became himself with thomas hamilton”

basically all about eve but with fucking pirates because hell yeah

in retrospect this is very similar to the actual plot but flint shouts “DO YOU LOVE ME?” every time they take a prize

james mcgraw was just Like That all along

like silver, he uses deceit and manipulation to rise from a carpenter’s son to a navy lieutenant

he and thomas instantly butt heads when they meet because james is such an asshole

“you’re more literate than any three boys i knew at eton” “shows what they teach you at eton lmao”

“he’s the absolute worst, miranda. the most obnoxious man i’ve ever met. god he’s so pretty i hate him. i can’t believe i’m going to have an affair with him.” “you don’t have to.” “no i’m gonna.”

within thirty seconds of meeting him, alfred knows james is gay and is furious with thomas like, “are you serious? HIM?”

he decides very quickly after being thrown out of his house that he’s going to destroy james whether he’s having an affair with his son or not because between the pardons act, the affair AND just being a general asshole, he’s really toasting alfred’s waffles

he decides to have james hospitalized instead but james thinks it’s hilarious

“you think no one’s ever tried that before?”

everyone in the navy thinks he’s crazy but he’s so effective despite his personality that they ignore it and the plan fails

so alfred decides to do something he knows will work and hurt james even more: have thomas committed in his place

and for the first time, we see genuine heartbreak and agony in james’ face

while their relationship had started as hate ***/reluctant but successful political partners, he realizes only after alfred has him committed that he was truly in love with thomas

which makes alfred’s murder both satisfying and terrifying as he drops the act for a second time just to go straight-up ax murderer on him

losing thomas basically destroys his empathy and compassion and his worse characteristics take over and become the Captain Flint persona

silver thinks it’s an act and tries to get closer to him to find out the truth but then realizes that he really is that overdramatic and annoying like “oh my god you actually live like this?”

the parallels between thomas and silver’s “he’s insufferable, i love him” are crystal clear and intentional

once again, miranda (and gates to a lesser extent) knew his tragic backstory and that parts of him were exaggerated to create this pirate character, but losing both of them just makes him far worse

"it's time for a dramatic haircut to prove that i'm reached a turning point in my life" "please shut up and give me the scissors"

in the end, when they’re reunited at the plantation, thomas realizes that beneath his cold exterior he really had cared all along, waited a decade for him and tried to start a war in his name

enemies to lovers to friends flintham au

they’re gay in love and live happily ever after in either version the end

#we really saw one funny gifset and just completely spiraled huh #black sails #james flint #flinthamilton #there's silverflint too but not endgame so i'm not gonna tag that #but if you're into that kind of thing it's there #this is literally just two hours of rambling that i tried to arrange in a somewhat understandable order #and it probably doesn't make any sense but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#siri how do you tag 'au where everything is the same but one character is even more obviously gay than usual' on ao3 #oc

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