Nancy Drew and phones! Secret of the Old Clock edition!

✨Watercolor and alcohol markers on paper✨

A Miraculous TikTok Account

Part 35

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Ladybug sighed as she fell back on her bed with a cup of water instead of coffee for once.

Not because she wasn’t going to stay up or anything, it was already around 3 what’s the point of sleeping at that point, but because she’d cried herself out with Chat. She did little curl-ups occasionally so she could actually swallow. (Should she just sit up and make things easier on herself? Yes. Will she? No.)

Ugh. Stupid emotions. How was she supposed to kill Chat now? When she’d thought it was just because he’d needed a distraction she’d been able to feel angry because there were plenty of ways to do that without getting her involved, but now that she knew it was also because he related and didn’t want her to suffer the same way he did…

She groaned and threw her now-empty plastic cup at the wall. It bounced off and then rolled across the ground lamely. Stupid cup. Stupid feelings.

She clicked her tongue irritably and glared at the ceiling.

Her trap door opened and she blinked, looking over to see… Chloe?

“Aren’t you usually asleep right now?”

“I was,” said Chloe, rubbing her eyes with a scowl. She pulled off her mask to actually get the desired effect, and then lazily tossed it onto a chair. She walked over and picked up the cup. “This woke me up.”

A blush spread across her face. “Oh. Sorry.”

“It’s too late, now,” said Chloe with a vague wave of her hand. She set the cup down on a rare empty surface and then took a seat on the bed beside her. “So, how’d things go with Chat?”

“... good,” said Ladybug, pulling her gaze back to the ceiling. “I feel like an asshole, now.”

“Kinda were one.”

“Fuck you.”

She winked. “I mean, if you’re offering, --.”

She pushed her off the bed and Chloe laughed as she hit the floor. Ladybug found that she was smiling despite herself and she had to school her expression back into a scowl. Chloe stood back up and stretched, then attempted to sit back down on the bed. She went starfish to prevent this.

Chloe scoffed. “Really?”

“You’ve lost bed privileges.”

“Hm,” she said, unimpressed.

Ladybug clicked her tongue once but pulled her knees up to let her sit at the end of the bed.

“Anyways, have you got everything out of your system?”

She nodded slightly, and then yawned into her hand. Her choice of water was beginning to catch up to her. Damn.

Chloe smiled. “Good. What’re you going to do about your identity, now?”

“Probably ignore the video. People will either think it was a fluke or just kinda forget about it. Hopefully.”

The smile disappeared and the blonde scrutinized her for a few moments. “You’re really dumb for a smart person, you know that?” Suddenly, her face lit up again. “Actually, that reminds me of something.”

Ladybug watched in confused silence as she pulled out her phone and pushed a few buttons.

And then her phone screen lit up. She blinked and picked it up.

TikTok?

She clicked the notification and pulled up the new video on Chloe’s account.

~

It showed Carapace, Ladybug, and Rena in the living room. None of them seemed completely there in one way or another, and the coffee machine had been dragged out to sit on the table for easy access.

Ladybug was practically vibrating on the couch, struggling to bring a cup of coffee to her lips without spilling any.

Carapace was laying across the armchair that was pretty much his at this point, eyes glazed over.

Rena was apparently giving a lecture… or, at least, that’s what she thought she was doing. She was babbling, mostly incoherent, pointing at the conspiracy board -- this must have been taken before Hawkmoth had come and destroyed the house -- and occasionally moving on to the next point.

It was unclear whether Carapace and Ladybug actually understood what she was saying somehow because their mutual sleep-deprived-ness made them all get on the same wavelength (think how babies understand each other despite speaking no real words) or were just nodding along but, either way, Rena definitely had their attention.

Rena pointed very aggressively and the camera zoomed in on the words ‘Rich Bitch’. Ladybug raised her hand and said something in the weird Simlish they had managed to create. The fox holder nodded thoughtfully and then, after procuring a marker, she changed the word ‘Bitch’ to ‘Has anyone asked Hawkmoth for their preferred pronouns?’.

Carapace said something.

Rena crossed that out and then wrote ‘Fuckface McPeopleKiller’.

The three nodded at this and they went back to the lecture.

“What the heck?” Whispered a voice. The camera panned to where Chat was standing in the doorway with a confused and slightly concerned expression.

Then it panned again to Chloe, who looked almost bored. “The smartest of Paris’s heroes, everyone.”

The video ended.

~

Ladybug glared at Chloe. “C’mon, really?”

“Chat’s right, you should at least be honest that it’s not you. Film a video about it, talk about it and address it, then continue what you’re doing. At least then you won’t have to stress out as much about messing up.”

She crossed her arms.

“Also, I said that I was going to upload a video when someone messed up and revealed the truth. Someone did that, so I did. I’m a woman of my word.”

Ladybug rolled her eyes. “Mhmm.”

There was a silent staredown that lasted a whole five seconds before Ladybug broke eye contact to glare at the ceiling.

She clicked her tongue. “You’re not going to let it go, are you?”

“No. And I’m sure Carapace would prefer it, too, since he won’t have to edit around your actual personality anymore.”

For whatever reason, Ladybug wasn’t as angry as she should have been. Maybe she was just tired from the lack of coffee, maybe the stuff with Chat had been enough for her to relax for the time being, or maybe it was because it was Chloe of all people. Who knows. Certainly not her.

“Fiiiiiine,” she groaned. She shooed her out and told her to go to sleep. Then she picked up her phone.

~

The video opened up relatively close to her face.

“Hello, everyone! It’s me! Different content than usual, but it’ll go back to normal tomorrow.”

She cleared her throat awkwardly. “Right, if you’re not Parisian, you probably don’t know but I… do cosplay.” She stepped back to reveal her outfit. “I made this, it’s a spin on a magical girl. Original character. Cool, right?”

“Anyways, that’s really all you’ll care about, I think. The rest of the video won’t make much sense to you. You can leave.”

She bobbed her head absently for a few moments, as if listening to a song, and then shrugged. “Are they gone now? Probably. Anyways, a few of you might have noticed that my friends have uploaded some content that… shows me acting in a way you’re not used to, and I’m here to address it.”

“Firstly, yes, I behave differently at home than I do in front of you guys. I have a persona that I lean into for work. The others do the same. Don’t be surprised if you see us acting differently in videos than we do while on the job.”

“Secondly, I actually don’t dress like this all the time.” She snapped and the video cut, and suddenly she was wearing a light pink crop top and pale jeans. She smiled and held up a peace sign to the camera. “I wear things other than red and black! Stunning, I know. Do wear the colors pretty often, though, they compliment my skin tone.”

“Thirdly… a lot of you guessed it, but I figured I’d confirm it since I’m being honest with you guys today.” She blushed a little and brought her legs up to show off her cuffed jeans. “I’m bi.”

“And, lastly, I swear. A lot. Easier to express myself that way.”

“Think that’s all you guys will really care about.”

There was about a second where she considered that, then shrugged.

“Right, you’re all probably wondering what’ll happen now. Well, nothing will change for you guys. This account won’t be changing and neither will the way I act in public. I just came here to publicly address everything because I didn’t want to be hounded by the media about it.”

She flashed finger guns at the camera. “Right. Bye!”

~

Taglist

@iidiotkid @nathleigh @sassakitty @th1s-1s-my-aesthet1c @blueslushgueen @woe-is-me0 @ladybug-182 @cas-and-their-refusal-to-write @trippingovermyfeet @melicmusicmagic @meimei3841 @roseliali @ultimatetornshipper

Pathfinder

A horror story inspired by real life events.

Our eyes are perfect, in their ability to be imperfect.  Nothing tells us if something should or should not be seen, we are bound by them.  Without ever knowing the dangers they can get us into.  Until it’s too late.

“It’s just down the road what is there to worry about.  The roads are clear, people take trips far longer than this.  Hell we have traffic coming to and from the upper cities.  I just want to get out of here for a bit.”  The youth was quite insistent, heading for the door even as he spoke without waiting for a response.

Nothing was given just yet, the other people looked about and shrugged, a couple moving to join the rebellious one.  The eldest went to open his mouth before being quickly silenced by the leaving party.

“I’m not listening to a book, I’m not listening to old stories.  No one does, we are living a life that those books didn’t even think possible.  We grow and expand how we want, not how someone tells us.”

Silence befell the apartment, save for the sound of the slamming door.  It was a small town they walked into, and it was growing even smaller with each step the three put under them.  It was a jovial tone they had taken, laughing and joking amongst each other.  Every now and then they would come across another traveller.  Each one a silent reminder and assurance that they were doing just fine.  Proof that the path was safe, superstitions were a folly.

As they continued Marion began to notice what looked to be buffers along the roads.  Nondescript, hard to even picture them after they had passed.  Standing up at the edge of the road, leaves?  Dirt?  What was holding these together?  The irregular nature of their placement, without a care to time or distance, everytime she wanted to keep her thoughts in order, they were gone.  Her compatriots were far less concerned with what was at their sides, only seeing the path ahead of them.

The next town came into view in no time, comfortably nestled into its borders.  The boys, proud of their accomplishment, walked right on through stopping only at the edge when they no longer heard footsteps behind them.  Marion had stopped, staring into the distance and frozen mid step.  Legs and arms cut from motion like someone was pressing down the hands of a clock.  Looking between each other, laughing and calling out to her like it was a joke.  The leader stepping forward and hoping to cure her, yanked on her arm, the resistance causing his head to tilt.

Frozen stiff and merely pointing off behind him, muttering incoherently.  He turned to face the outskirts of the town, nothing but woods spread out as far as the eye could see.  Darkness. Yet her trembling continued.  “Trying to scare us into turning around won’t help you.  We are making it to that towering city, where we can find places for ourselves.”  Walking with a purpose he left her standing in the middle of the road.  Pushing past the gateway and  knocking into the strange edifice without blinking an eye.  His companion looking on and between the two before ultimately falling in tow to the leader.  A brief glance given to the destroyed sculpture, bending down to fix it before he found himself being left behind.  Hurrying into a run the two left the town behind, onward to the next one.

“Hey, uh, shouldn’t we have stopped to help her out?  I mean, she has been with us from the start.”

“Can it, Vaughn.  If you want to go back and let her drag you down like the others be my guest.  My sights are high, and nothing will keep me from it.”

Silence befell the two for a good long while.  It was only when hVaughn started to notice the structures had returned, or at least they continued to appear.  How many had they passed, or perhaps it was just a coincidence, a trick of the eyes.  They could just be naturally occurring after all.  No they had a purpose, marking the roads so that people didn’t lose their way.  That must be it.  There was a feeling of being watched, it clung to the silence that pervaded the air.  In fact, the silence was all consuming.

“You got a weird feeling, Ely?”  The shaking was present in his voice, hardly seeming to have a leg to stand on.  Yet it was like he was hearing it from a tunnel, gaze unable to stay locked in one place before it was invaded by another.  Impossible.  Pushing passed the leader now he would set his sights on the next generation.

Looking on in confusion, he didn’t bother answering the other man as he noticed how brisk his pace had become.  It was quiet, the road seemed narrower than its origin.  Held in place by, stange standing wards.  His pace quickened, seeking to not let Vaughn out of his sight for long.  An impossible amount of time wandering before his friend was located.  Quieter than usual but he was there, unharmed.  Looking on at the new city on the water he sighed.  “The beginnings of technology at our fingertips.  A laugh was given, bounding into the two itself and not realizing the many shapes that watched.  Even Vaughn had slowed his pace down..  

Here rest would find them, well, at least a halt in progress.  The rooms were well furnished, but the bed just wouldn’t allow for the comforting embrace of sleep.  Tossing and turning Ely the mattress just didn’t seem right.  No matter how he moved it never settled beneath him.  Rumbling within the fabric, as if the material itself breathed.  Shaking his head he refused to believe the evidence, finally closing his eyes and keeping them firmly shut.

“It’s said that they existed ever since the roads were set.  The number became too great to write off.”  An ethereal voice joined suddenly by a chorus of chittering.  “Mysteries untold and unsolved, the people didn’t know what to do.”

Sitting up straight in bed he found the room to be a mess and devoid of any other living being.  A cold wind curled in through the door, pushing it open with a creak and carrying in a mass of leaves that whipped at his sleepy form.  Clinging to him, scratch and dragging along his skin, he swatted at the offending brown shapes.  The blankets on the other beds had been tossed, the mattresses torn apart, he wasn’t going to ask questions.  It was never his way.  The insanity couldn’t be happening.  Bursting through the halls, the wind seemed to follow him, a bolt of color was all the innkeeper saw.  Silence was heard apart from the slamming of the door.

“Best take care, best not to look, they are there only to remember.”

His shoes pushed imprints into the road, shoving away the loose topsoil and debris to propel him onwards into the night.  Each blur of a tree that flashed by seemed to come in closer, encroaching on the small area he knew was safe, it was a road after all.  Twisting and turning, winding around corners with little light, his path was no longer his own.  He could hear the crunching of leaves, the rustling of bushes, something was closing in on him.  The road doubled back on itself and he came to a halt in the middle of a crossroads.

“For if you notice.  You can see what’s wrong.  What should be, and shouldn’t be.”

A crack of thunder, his head tilting up to watch the starry sky swallowed by a swarm of pitch dark clouds.  Letting loose their torrent of bitter cold rain onto the beleaguered boy. A scuttling across branches shook loose some leaves in front of him, falling to the damp ground with thuds far too loud for their size.  Instinctively backing up he lost his footing and slid down the ditch, toppling over another marker.

“Make them into guards.  Don’t think twice.  Hurry on ahead, hurry for your life.”

Spastic movements as he swatted at the earthen debris that clung to him like a spider’s web.  Charging forward, hands digging into the mud, the ditch seemed more like a mountain.  Shoveling fistfulls of dirt behind him, each thud followed by a squish, imprints being made, drawing closer.  Scrambling for purchase, gritting his teeth, he found his way tumbling back onto the road, covered in the cold muck he couldn’t get back on his feet fast enough.  Running blindly towards the nearest path, he put the footsteps safely behind him.

“Once they are there, burrowed within, relentless they’ll be, until they have you inside.”

Away was the only direction he cared about.  “Shouldn’t we turn back?”  The words caused him to skid to a stop, looking around for the familiar sounding words but there was nothing.  No person stood within earshot.  “Go to someplace safe.”  He swatted as his ears, as if the words had been whispered across them, turning quickly nothing but the woods.  Except, squinting past the obstructions and the rows of trees there was a light, flickering yet warm.  Running for it he navigated the decline suffering only minor scratches from nearby branches.

“What’s there to guide is there to warn.”

Pushing past the lines of trees, the dark shapes that loomed in on him between each one.  Rustling leaves deafened him, the trees reached out, roots to trip and sticks to snag.  More of the markers appeared, footsteps behind him, the warmth being choked out in front.  Field of vision slowly shrinking, muscles tightened, all he could feel was pain as he forced himself to continue onwards.  The warmth was a fireplace, caught through a window, tumbling through the open door he wept in relief as the fire’s accommodating nature encompassed him.  Footsteps continued slowly but surely, silhouettes appearing in the windows, an opening for each direction for all to see.  The creaking door before it latched shut, and silence returned to the forest.

“You’re never alone out there in the dark.”

return - spideychelle

Returning home after a long time, Michelle tries to face her fear and come to terms with a lost.

A/N: I’m sorry in advance. I tried making this perfect but nothing in the world is perfect. Please enjoy.

word count: 2,765

Their home is deserted when she enters.

   The home that started their lives together. The home that started their family. A home where they made love. A home where they promised forever. Their home.

   She travels slowly through the hall, hands trailing across the photographs on the wall. The first photo displays a small child dressed in pirate attire with a smile that could brighten someone's day. Frizzy long brown locks fell into her chocolate brown eyes.

   The third photo aligned on the wall showed a man, a man with a smile so real, a stranger wouldn't believe he carried the world on his shoulders. He seemed to be staring off into the distance, watching something, admiring it or them. The man appeared put together, happy even.

   A woman staring down at her round belly, a book in hand. She was oblivious to the fact that a photo had been taken of her. There was something about how deeply invested she’d been. As if the only thing in that moment had been her and the miracle living within.

   Them, a family. The small child cradled in the man’s arms, her head leaning against the woman's chest, laughing. The woman smiled down at the child, eyes full of love. The man, oh the man with the weight of the world on his shoulders, stared at the woman with so much love and admiration, even those who didn't believe in love couldn't deny his.

   Continuing on, she entered the overly spacious living room and stopped. Everything was the same since then, since the accident. The couch lacked its usual attire, throw pillows with a blanket thrown over the back. A pair of combat boots were laid messily along the floor, next to a pair of high top glittery sneakers. Her eyes lingered on the shoes for a short while before she tore her gaze away.

   In the center of the room, scattered across the wooden floors were various toys. To be specific, Avengers. They were all positioned together as if they were all prepared to fight together with spider-man leading the charge. They displayed a teamwork that no longer exists within this universe.

   Her feet moved of their own accord towards the kitchen, halting once they reached the counter. Her eyes locked on the two empty plates. There were small stains, most likely difficult to remove considering the amount of time they've been there. It was the same, nothing out of place. On the fridge door, a few items were holding on for dear life. A homework sheet with a “Good Work” stamp on it. Underneath that was a reminder board.

   Her eyes scanned the board countless times, engraving the words into her brain. 1. M’s first day of school. 2. Ice cream date. 3. Surprise daddy at work. 4. Remind mommy and daddy how much you love them. The fourth one had been written in sloppy handwriting, hinting that a child had written it with help.

   Her attention then drifted towards the last thing, a photo. She couldn't detain the smile that forced itself onto her lips at the sight. The small child was crouched down on a large rock, arm outstretched towards the photographer, pretending to be shooting webs from her wrist.

   There wasn't any possible way to avoid how alike the child and the man were. She had been a smaller version of him. She contained small traits from her mother, such as her golden skin tone and her nose. Also, there was a hint of a purple strand in her hair.

   Turning away, she couldn't look much longer. The longer she looked, the quicker her heart would break into pieces. She couldn't have that, not again. Not now.

   Straightening herself up, she exited the kitchen and located the stairs. Before continuing up, she took a deep breath. “You can do this.” She whispers to herself.

   Before she knew what was happening, she'd been trudging up the stairs. As soon as she reached the top, she stopped at the first door, their door. She couldn't understand why this was so hard, she promised herself she could handle this.

   Her hand wrapped around the knob, twisting it and pushing the door open. The first thing she noticed was the bed. It was as if no one had slept here. The whole room, everything was untouched. The bedside table consisted of a vintage lamp, and tangled jewelry.

   The closet door was open, showing all the clothes on the hangers, and neatly placed shoes ordered by color. There’s a poster hanging on the wall behind the bed, saying some stupid math joke that she knows he loves. The computer desk in the corner is a mess with papers tossed all over the place. Beside the computer is a frame with the woman. Both of her middle fingers are raised in the air but there is a smile on her lips.

   In the photo, she sported a Midtown High blazer. Her hair was thrown up into a messy ponytail with small strands falling into her face. She was different then. She was different now.

   There was one more thing left to do now. As she walked out the room, her hands brushing her hair up into a messy ponytail. She couldn't care less about how it looked, she just needed it out her way.

   Once reaching the hallway, her feet directed her towards the room at the end of the hall. As she stopped before the door, she read the letters printed across. May. Her fingers traced the letters slowly, closing her eyes. This was it, this was her biggest fear. This is what has haunted her for months, years and finally, she stood before the door that would change everything. She just couldn't decide if it was for better or worse.

   As she reached for the knob, she stopped, hand hovering mid-air. This wasn't right, she wasn't. She shouldn't have come. She should have just stayed far away from here. But she's here now and there was no turning back. Her doubts relinquished within seconds and she entered before she could get the chance to over think again.

   The walls were plain blue and the floor covered in white carpet, which was surprisingly spotless. In the center of the room was a bed wrapped in simple white sheets, a comforter folded neatly on top. May never had interest in multicolored or character sheet sets. She was a rather simple child, people claimed she had taken that trait from her mother.

   There were cardboard boxes stacked in the corner. She walked slowly towards them, heart hammering against her chest. Various items were placed in the box neatly. Reaching into the box, her hands grasped the first thing in reach. Pulling her hands out, she observed the item.

   A small rustic looking box, Maylen Parker written on top in permanent marker. Tucking the box under her arm, she moved over to the bed, gently sitting down at the end. Placing the box down beside her, she observed it once more, staring confusedly at the unfamiliar item.

   Tucking a loose strand of her brown hair behind her ear, she chewed on her bottom lip nervously as she contemplated if she should open the box or not. She’s never come across this before and she couldn't help but think how important and private this was. It had been kept out of reach for a reason, who was she to invade someone's privacy, even if it was a child's?

   Apart of her refuses to open the box but her gut is convincing her otherwise and she'd always been one to go along with her gut. She runs a hand down her face and opens the box. Her eyes, now filled with tears, stare at the items it contained. A necklace with the letter M, gifted to her by her grandmother on her mother’s side. Two photographs of the child and a boy around her age, the other with her family. There was one last item resting inside, a letter. The brunette picked it up and her glossy eyes read the messy words scribbled on the paper.

Mommy, if you ever read this, which I know you will because you are nosy, I love you and you are the best mommy in the world. For my five years in the world, you have taught me so much. I want to be just like you when I grow up. Love you, mommy. Oh and if daddy say’s he helped me write this, remember,  he’s a loser and losers lie.

   Clenching the letter to her chest, tears streamed from her eyes like a waterfall. It feels like her heart has just been torn from her chest and crushed into tiny pieces. She thought she’d be able to handle returning here but she couldn’t. It didn’t matter how hard she tried, she wouldn’t be able to come to terms with this. She stored the item back in its place, closing the box and returning it where it had originally been. Running her hand over her face to clear the tears, she turned towards the door but immediately halted in her tracks.

“Michelle?”

   Peter’s eyes flash with surprise, but in seconds his expression is pained as if someone had stabbed him in the heart continuously. There are no words spoken between them for a few moments, moments that seem like a lifetime. Michelle’s hands are now at her sides, completely still. While they’re frozen in the spots, Michelle’s eyes weren't. She took in every inch of him, embedding all detail of him in.

   Loose curls hung past his forehead, reminding her of the times she used to tease him about it but secretly she loved it. Soft brown eyes that used to be full of life were devoid of anything but guilt as they stared her down. His appearance wasn't him. The suit that hugged him in all the right places, that wasn't him. He resembled someone else, someone he admired.

   Peter moved forward, parting his lips to speak but the words never came. One second she stood there motionless and the next second she closed a good amount of space between them, shouting at him. “Don’t,” she seethed, hands clenching at her sides. “Don’t you fucking dare!” Peter stopped, fighting the temptation to hold her in his arms.

   The tears were uncontrollable, flowing down her puffed up cheeks like water spilling out of a tilted over water bottle. Michelle hated that she such was an emotional wreck, especially in front of him. He was the one person she promised herself she’d never cry in front of ever again. He didn't deserve to see her tears.

   “How could you?” she cried out, “How could you erase her like this?” Michelle was never one for violence but she couldn't control herself. Using as much force as she could, she shoved him back. It wasn't much a surprise that he barely moved an inch but she didn't care. She needed him to know how hurt she was. She needed him to know he crossed the line.

   Peter grabbed her wrist with enough force that he wasn't hurting her but she couldn't remove herself from the grip. “Michelle, please listen to me.” He whispered, the pain in his voice evident. She shook her head, trying to release herself from his grip. “There isn't anything you have to say to me. Let me go.”

   “Mj, please?” He begged. Peter hated that they were in this situation. He hated that they were torn apart when they needed each other the most. All he wanted was for them to have that back. Though at this rate, he wasn't sure that would happen.

   Michelle shook her head, tugging harder as she felt his grip loosening. “I couldn't take it anymore..” He cried out in a low whisper. Michelle stopped trying to remove herself from his brace, looking him in the eyes, which had tears streaming from them. “Michelle, I've come into this room every day since that day and each day becomes harder and harder. I couldn't see my little girl’s things without breaking down. My intentions weren't to erase her, I could never do that. I just couldn't think of all the memories we’ve had here without thinking about that one memory. It's just too hard.”

   Peter locked eyes with her, his saddening at how hurt she looked. “Michelle, please say something.” His hands careful slipped from her wrist to her hands, entangling them with his. Her brown eyes darted to the ground for a second before she looked back into his. “But I just got her back... I just got all our memories back and now everything that made her, her is gone, packed into boxes to be placed away. I’m losing her again.” She choked out.

   She was shaking, every inch of her. Peter pulled her into his embrace and as much as she reminded herself she didn't want this, she did. She missed him cradling her in his arms, reminding her when things were bad that they'd get through it together. But the thing is, she couldn't get over this and she wasn't sure she ever would.

   His hand reached up, stroking her hair, something he knew she loved. He did this whenever she needed to relax and sometimes even helped her fall asleep. “We’ll get through this together.”

   As the words left his mouth, she quickly detangled herself from him. While doing so, she caught the pained look on his face. As much as she wanted to be with him, she couldn't. “Peter….We can't be together.” The words barely reached his ears but they did and he wished they never left her mouth.

   “Wh-what? Please don't do this..” He pleaded, reaching for her hands once more but she stepped back. There were tears streaming down both of their faces, eyes blood red from all the crying. Her hands wiped her tear-stained cheeks. “I’m not ready for this yet, for us.”

   “Please don't say that, please.” He cried, moving towards her. This time she let him hold her. He held her like she was the most fragile thing in the world like he never wanted to let her go. “I’m sorry, it just hurts too much.” She whispered into his ear. He clung to her tighter, she relaxed into him.

   Her hands tangled in his hair, hugging him closer as her tears stained his buttoned-down, navy blue shirt. “I need you,” Peter mumbled into her shoulder. And Michelle needed him more than she would ever admit.

   Pulling back from his embrace, her hands trailed to either side of his face, bringing her forehead down against his. Her eyes fluttered shut as their lips brushed against one another's. “You remind me of her in so many ways. She was a little you in every way.”

   “With her mother’s personality.” He whispered, eyes now shut also. Michelle hummed in agreement. Everything felt so right here, being with him, holding him but that feeling didn't seem to override the dying feeling she felt when their daughter came to mind. She couldn't spend the rest of her life doing this, making him miserable because she couldn't let it her go. She refused.

   “Peter, I love you.”

   “I love you too.”

   Pressing her lips against his, they moved in sync with each other. It was like two missing puzzle pieces found their way back together, sadly these two had to separate again. After a moment more, she reluctantly pulled away, trying to catch her breath.

   “Michelle,” she glanced at him, “how long?” Peter knew he wouldn't like the answer but he had to ask. He had to know how long he’d have to go without her in his life again. “Peter,” she breathed hard, running her thumbs against his cheeks gently. “I don't know if I ever will be. It could be months, years….”

   He nodded, his heart being torn to shreds. “I’m gonna miss you.” He mumbled against her lips. “Parker, I'll always be thinking of you.” Pressing her lips against his more, she quickly pulled away and headed towards the door but stopped, glancing over her shoulder. He turned around, watching her.

   “This isn't goodbye, this is simply see you later.” Without another word, she turned and disappeared down the hallway. Pain and regret followed close behind, along with Peter's heart. It didn't matter how far, how long or what universe they were in, they’d always love each other but in the end, was that ever enough?

   “See you later.”

HI HERE IS EVERY SAI BRUSH I OWN

sooo I tend to horde brushes, like, a lot. it’s been a slowly growing collection here, but now I’ve gotten to the point where I literally have next to no room and I desperately have to delete some. BUT I’m too paranoid of the fact that I’ll need one of them again some day. so I decided to dump ‘em all somewhere!

this is basically a reference for me in the future in case I need to remember That One Brush That Did A Thing that I may have deleted, but I figure I might as well also share them all since I’m saving them anyway and maybe someone will find something they like. you can take any of them if they interest you, and feel free to change ‘em as you see fit.

most of them aren’t mine, as I’ve basically always just swiped settings from a bunch of different places, so I have no idea where most of these came from. whoops!!

if you don’t have the texture/blotmap/whatever: I unfortunately don’t have a link to where I got all of mine, but most of them are here. if something’s missing, well, google’s your pal and I’m sure you can find ‘em.

anyway they’re under the cut. warning: there is. a lot. let’s go.

Brush

blotchy and neat. doesn’t blend much, but you can turn up “Blending” if you want it to. it’s pretty good for far away trees and bushes and all

Water

my usual blender, but I don’t really use it much anymore since I prefer manually blending nowadays?? still okay to smooth stuff out though

SpaceFoam

a really nice feelin’ brush!! I don’t even know what “space foam” means but it just ~feels~ it. just has this nice, dusty, foamy texture to it. I have another version of this brush that uses “Noise” instead of “Fine Flat 2″ if you want it more round instead of square.

Crayonz

used to be a general brush for sketching/doodling, but I don’t really use it much anymore. maybe you’ll like it.

Rough Chalk

super chunky, rough, and dry chalk brush

Speckle

self explanatory I guess! pretty good for texture or large skin blemishes

Chalk(Standard)

I really like this brush-- it’s great for making simple, blended backgrounds! keep in mind, because it’s a marker, changing its opacity works differently than other brushes, ie it doesn’t “layer”, it’s just a continuous tone

Badass Inker

OKAY I ACTUALLY DO KNOW WHERE THIS ONE IS FROM it’s here. mine is changed slightly but you figure out what you like. this was my main brush for lineart before I started inking in firealpaca. very sharp and crisp.

Marker

yep

RoughBrush

PKbrush

PKblotch

usually used it for a light, textured swash of color for an overlay layer or something. it’s supposed to be a big brush, but you can have it smaller I guess??

Acrylic

except it doesn’t really resemble acrylic at all, lol. in this state I use it as one of my blenders. BUT ALSO FUN THING: set that “normal” dropdown to multiply to get a subtle darkening effect. sometimes I use this for “lineart” in paintings.

Deliciously Dry

another brush from here. very nice rough texture.

Broken Chalk

I looove this weird little guy, lol. acts normal if you just go in a line, but it’ll get all “blocky” like that if you jitter your hand. because of this, it makes a pretty interesting leaf brush! it blends pretty cool, too.

BoneDry

aaaand ANOTHER from here.

Chalk

Chalk (... again)

Grass

it’s called grass but I honestly can’t imagine using it as a grass brush, lmao. stringy and soft though, may work as the flats for hair??

Clouds

this brush is...... kinda weird?? I mean, it’s clouds I guess. it’s not really perfect, but it’ll work if you spend enough time on it. I feel like it works better painting on the same layer than its own.

Gore

this brush is awfully light and soft for something called “gore”! actually I assume it’s called that cuz you use it as a patchy effect for wounds and stuff.

CG Smooth

named so because I think it’s supposed to resemble a brush used for very smooth, glossy, cg painting. (please excuse the shitty nose, I’m way rusty)

Paint

do you know how many random generic paint brushes I have

Paint 2

cuz it’s a lot

Paint 3

a loooootttt

Parrot

I’m weirdly fond of this one even though it’s not super special. I feel like it’d be good for smooth, bright, poppy blending.

Tint

this is another weird one. it’s like..... if you wanted to do a painty wash, I guess?

Chunky

like Broken Chalk above, this is another one that gets cool things when you jitter it. this one is a little more... jagged? reminds me of broken glass

CLead

this one works weiiirdly and maybe I should make a whole separate post about it?? well for now, this one’s basically like a dry marker or highlighter or something. I like it a lot.

PSPainting

I think it’s called that cuz it’s supposed to emulate painting in photoshop, even though it...... doesn’t, really, at all.

Copic 2

Water 10

another random blender. it doesn’t work on transparent areas though! (bring its dilution down if you want it to)

Copic

I have no idea if this is even remotely close to how a copic works (probably not)

TraditionalPencil

I’m never really 100% satisfied with most “pencil” brushes in sai, but here’s one anyway I guess.

Lead

and here’s another. this is the one that I actually tend to use

Acrylic (....... again)

and like our first acrylic, this is not really acrylic at all. super soft and light blender

BrushPen

SUPER rough and textured pen kinda thing

AmazingAcrylic

if you say so, name! actually this does look like it blends p cool

RIPbrush

why is it called this. what am I even doing with half these brushes. why am I here.

NEBULA

oh wait this one’s neat (neat enough to make two images even). good for all your spacey needs! the second one is a bunch of colors and set to “luminosity”, so you can get some cool effects.

shrugs (great name)

the marker tool is a strange being but I’ve really learned to love it lately. the key to this brush is setting that drop down up there to “multiply”, so you can get really deep darks with your base color where you need it. the downside to this being that you can’t really use preserve opacity to change it to a different color or you’ll lose the effect of those darks (you can use hue/saturation/brightness shift tho, but it might be a lil weird)

aaaand everything else I didn’t post were accidental duplicates! so that’s it!! that sure was a lot but maybe you found something in here you liked ;0

Dancing Beads

I'll be honest with you guys, I've had a rough past couple of days. Heavy anxiety hanging over me like a thick fog, making it difficult to think straight, let alone work. That's why I submitted a WIP shot of this drawing earlier in the week. It was technically finished, but I just didn't have the stamina and focus to get it ready to post on Wednesday, and I pretty much knew that I wouldn't have it in me to make something else new to go up today. That said, I am feeling a little bit better and I hope that means I'm coming around the bend and will be truly back and ready to rock in another day or so. In the meantime, let's talk about the artwork, shall we? This is sort of an extended OOTD (Outfit Of The Day) drawing in a similar vein as this first OOTD drawing I ever did, OOTD: Witch Socks. I say extended and cut "OOTD" out of the title this time because of A. This drawing was done over 2-3 days and B. I obviously was no longer wearing the outfit by the time the drawing was finished. And also, secret reason C. I didn't actually wear this outfit out of the house; I just liked the way the colors worked together and thought it would make for a cute drawing. And honestly, even for someone like me who enjoys dressing eccentrically, I think this would've been a little too far over the edge to wear out and about anyway.  (I promise it looks a lot more socially acceptable in the drawing than it did in person) It's funny though, my last OOTD drawing was heavily inspired by the socks I was wearing that day, which looked like witch boots (hence the title it had), and this time my funky socks are once again a key point, but this piece got named after the pose and a different accessory. ...And I just noticed that this OOTD also has a pose where my head is in-profile facing the left...huh... Anyway; the key player here is the little plastic shiny red bead necklaces. They aren't much here in the drawing, but they're what set this whole thing in motion. My mom was cleaning out her purse and found them, remembering that she'd meant to give them to me when she initially brought them home from something they did at work, and since I was right there I just slid them on until I could put them away properly. (I have something of a small collection of bead necklaces like this for reasons unbeknownst even to me.) And at some point I was just feeling really good and kind of cute/kooky that day, and that's more or less where the idea to draw my outfit was born. From there, I'm not really sure where the pose came from other than the very loose/swinging nature of the necklaces and I wanted something fun and dynamic. And I swear I've tried to draw or seen this pose somewhere before, but if I did it must've been something I never posted because I sure can't find it in my gallery.  (Although it was at this point that I pretty much knew what the title for this was going to be ) And to be fair, I'm not sure the proportions/anatomy came out exactly right. At first, I thought the legs (or at least the calves) were too short, but then I re-evaluated and decided the arms were too long, so I shortened them and I feel like for the most part that fixed/evened things out. I just really didn't want to have to re-draw the feet because I felt like they (especially the one on the left) came out really good the first time. Weirdly enough, the hands didn't give me a ton of trouble the second time around, as I worried they might. And I also didn't have that much of a struggle getting the profile of the face right, which is unusual because of all the ways to draw a face, that's usually the one I have the most trouble with.  Then again, I guess I shouldn't be that surprised since a while ago when I was last drawing people more consistently I did do more profile faces and hands than usual, but I don't know. It's just kinda weird to not have that much trouble with them when in the past they've been main problem areas for me, at least during the sketching phase. Either way, as far as the actual drawing part goes, I think the most difficult thing this time was the bodice area because I wanted to get the proportions pleasing to the eye, but the tank top to still have reasonable folds, and the overall flow to work with the rest of the piece. But even that still wasn't too bad. The beads also took a while, since I was indeed fully committed to drawing every individual bead, but that really wasn't difficult, it just required patience. Little did I know, the difficulties would come in transferring the sketch to where I wanted it. I think I've gotten my fill of alcohol markers, given three of my most recent drawings were little kitties done almost exclusively in those, and so that combined with just not having done much with colored pencils in general lately (other than as smaller detail things or using water-soluble ones more like paint than pencils), I decided to do a bit of a return-to-form and make use of an extra piece of toned gray paper I've had waiting around to be used since like March, and do some good ol' colored pencil work. The joke was on me because I was very quickly reminded why I haven't used the gray paper a ton, especially compared to the toned tan paper I have; for reasons I can't figure out, it's incredibly hard to see through the paper to transfer lines, even with my lightbox on the brightest setting! So after several minutes of disappointed pondering, I dug out a charcoal stick I've had sitting in a "junk" art supply box (of which I have two; they're just boxes where the random stuff I don't really use or reach for very often that I don't have a good way to organize ends up) for the last half of forever and scribbled on the back of where I'd already transferred the lines once onto a regular piece of white paper (having hoped the black ink lines would be easier to see through the gray paper, which they were, but it still wasn't enough) and then used a mechanical pencil with the point shoved in to transfer the lines onto the gray paper. It's a very round-about way to do it, but it worked. And I went with the charcoal this time instead of trying the gelato trick that I learned with my Fly By the Moon piece because I thought the gelatos might not work all that great with the colored pencils, and I also thought they might make more of a mess trying to transfer onto regular paper instead of onto canvas. This ended up being a good choice also because the charcoal I was able to mostly erase/lift after I touched up the transfer in a few places and then I went back in with proper ink lines to make sure I wouldn't lose them once I started coloring. The lines finally taken care of, I could finally get to the fun part: coloring. And after some behind-the-scenes swatching experiences made them seem better than I had previously remembered, I decided to use my Schpirerr Farben colored pencils. Though I did make the mistake of using my white Prismacolor as a base for the skin. Not that it was a mistake because a white base wasn't needed (it was, and for everything else I used the white from the Schpirerr Farben set as a base), but because the Prismacolor pencil being wax-based, where the Schpirerr Farbens are oil-based, there was a conflict of texture in the layering. Kind of luckily though, I went too dark with the shading on the skin originally and had to work in more layers to fix that, and in that process, I think I managed to get the texture thing mostly under control. I did purposely use that in the hair though, since hair normally has...well, you know, noticeable texture. Otherwise, coloring was a pretty basic colored pencil experience (for me, anyway). I'd put down a base, then the base color, then work on the shading, and as I did certain parts I'd go back and adjust others based on what felt right. I have to say, I think the main drawback to the Schpirerr Farben pencils is really that they only come in 72 colors. I was able to do some mixing and shading and things to get the colors to where I needed them to be (the purple-y blue and red-orange colors on the socks, in particular, I had to mix to get), but I was really missing the wider selection I get from Prismacolor (150) or the Faber Castell Polychromos (120). Which isn't a huge deal, but it is a point for having multiple sets of pencils (or if you're the brand and not the consumer, making larger sets/adding new colors), even if you're loyal to a particular set/brand. Especially if the pencils play well together; the more you have, the wider color range you have to pick from. Other than that, I can confirm they do still layer and blend really nicely without much fuss (as had been my impressions back when I first talked about them). They're just soft enough that it always surprises me when I go to add a layer and the color goes on better than I thought it would because I figured I'd reached my limit on layers already.   Considering they've recently branched out and made a watercolor set recently, I'm not sure as to how much stock I should put in Schpirerr Farben possibly returning to their pencils and making more colors...Does the watercolor thing mean they've closed the book on the pencils and want to focus on other supplies now, or does that mean there's hope that they'll continue to innovate on their products, including potential upgrades to the pencils? I'm not sure. Either way, once I finished coloring the figure in, I went back over the ink lines where I'd gotten colored pencil over them and they'd faded/washed out as a result, and then did the white outline with my white gel pen. Then I left the drawing alone overnight because it was missing something, but I wasn't sure what and I couldn't think of anything that night. When I came back to it the next day, I ended up deciding on something slightly complicated; A soft purple PanPastel background with one triangle shape masked/blocked out, and one triangle done in washi tape. This would end up evolving from the second triangle just being bigger to it being a slightly different kind of triangle and going in the opposite direction. And also I changed my mind on which washi tape to use about three different times, finally settling on this metallic-printed on for a little more intrigue when you see the piece IRL. (Even though here on the scan it just looks dark and borderline out of place ) Then to "blend" the metallic into the drawing as a whole better, I added the little dots in the background around the head with a gold shadow gelly roll, since in-person the color looks really close to the metallic print on the tape and the dots kind of tie in the "beads" theme a little better. (Again, this doesn't translate as well into the scan, but I kinda knew that was a risk with both things when I put them down.) And I did go over a few of the beads on the necklaces with the same pen to tie everything all together. Then I signed it with my white gel pen, and I felt much better about calling it finished. And you know, it has its flaws and all, but I am pretty happy with how it turned out anyway. It's a little more simple and there's not a ton of deep meaning or impactful influence behind it or anything, it's not terribly experimental, but it's still a fleshed out, polished drawing. And I really enjoy that, as it gave me more room to just kind of hone in on and practice skills I'm already fairly comfortable with, and sometimes that's just what you need in art, you know?   I'm not sure what I'll end up making to post next--I've got some ideas, of course, (never a shortage of those around here ) but I've been a little too muddled to settle on anything just yet, so we'll just have to wait and see. For now, I'm trying to focus more on being gentle with myself until I seem to be back up to snuff to really buckle down on stuff. ____ Artwork © me, MysticSparkleWings ____ Where to find me & my artwork: My Website | Commission Info + Prices | Ko-Fi | dA Print Shop | RedBubble |   Twitter | Tumblr | Instagram