Sevika x Fem!Reader - Like Fine Wine

Contains: explicit content and a recurring theme of Sevika being an older woman (love me a childless milf amirite).

Word count: 1949

AO3 link here. Minors DNI.

She’s a menace. Arrogant, unapproachable, yet inexplicably inviting. And she’s mean, too. So fucking mean, but she butters you up with cocktails and pet names that sound like molasses in that deep, gruff voice of hers. A little too old for you, and you both know it. Neither of you care. It’s hot.

One humid, smoggy night was when it all began. You had plans with a woman, who said all the right things to you the day before, to go to the Drop for a couple of drinks and a good time. Wear something pretty, she said. Pretty as those pretty red lips of yours – that left you swooning. So you waded through the blinding kaleidoscope of neon lights, all dolled up for her, struggling not to cough on the smoke from a hundred cigarillos, only to find said woman grinding against a girl in an even skimpier dress, probably telling her the same old shit.

It affected you more than you cared to admit. Maybe that’s what drew Sevika’s gaze to you. A sweet thing in a shimmery little dress, nothing new. But one with a quivering lip, looking sorry at the bar in the middle of a chaotic mess, staring in dismay at two shadows on the dancefloor… Who wouldn’t take pity?

You couldn’t fight the hammering in your chest when she approached you, towering, suave and unbothered by the ruckus of the club. Dressed in a mulberry shirt, tailored to accommodate her daunting mechanical arm, half the buttons undone, giving you a tantalising view of the swell of her cleavage and a peek at a rock hard abdomen. If she wasn’t Silco’s right hand, your eyes would have drifted lower and honed in on the tightness of her trousers.

Her offer to buy you something fruity to take the sting off things didn’t register immediately. You were too captivated by her stern, sculpted face, those steel eyes and powerful nose and frown lines that looked so soft. There were so many little scars, some harsher than others, like the mesmerising web of aquamarine cutting into her beautiful dark sepia skin.

She chuckled at the distracted glaze coating your bleary eyes, gently repeating her offer, snuffing out her smoke on the bar countertop. It wasn’t tobacco; it didn’t smell like utter shit, instead fragrant with the aroma of spices you couldn’t quite place. Something fancy, imported. You could get used to breathing it in.

Your drink took priority over the long queue of patrons, courtesy of her status. Hell, you were still blinking back your surprise at such a woman’s sudden interest in you by the time she was guiding you towards a secluded alcove, sheltered from the thumping of rave music.

Alone in the cushioned nook, you chatted about everything and nothing, sipping on an electric blue beverage that made the tips of your fingers tingle. You were interrupted once, and only once, when Sevika held up her hand, signalling for the bar staff to fetch her a drink. At some point, your legs found their way onto her lap, with her huge calloused hand languidly stroking your exposed skin. Intoxicated by her scent, her attention, the way she shamelessly eyed you up and whatever that boozy syrup in your cocktail was, you couldn’t help but bite your lip when she asked you one simple question:

“You ever been with a woman my age, doll?”

No, was the answer you gave, slightly shaky at the subliminal suggestion woven into her words. She smirked.

Widening her legs, she welcomed you forward onto her lap until you comfortably straddled a bulky thigh, the leathery fabric of her trousers pressing into you snugly. Soft, warm lips that tasted of piquant smoke and ambrosial drink ensnared yours. You expected her kiss to be bruising. Not sensual and hasteless, dizzying, wholly dichotomous to the brute beneath you.

Nursing her whiskey glass in her claw, Sevika cupped your behind with her organic hand, inviting you to grind your heat against her leg as two fingers snaked downwards. They stroked your slit through your underwear, pushing in ever so slightly until the patch of fabric covering your modesty was all slicked through. She didn’t need to ask what made you twitch in wanting – her experience made her near telepathic. Breathy little sighs poured freely from your lips, swallowed by hers.

Her teasing – foreplay – grew unbearable very quickly. You started to push back against her fingers, hoping she’d sense your desperation and indulge you by…fuck, you’d really let her debase you in public, wouldn’t you?

Oh, she knew what filthy thoughts circulated your foggy little mind. She made a promise through smirking lips: you be nice and patient while she finishes her drink, and she’ll take you home, eat your pussy so damn good until you’re sobbing and you’ve forgotten all about the bitch you came here for.

Fuck, did she fulfil that promise. Tenfold. Her tongue had your back arching off the bed, and when your oversensitive squirming got in the way of things, she flipped you onto your front, and had you kneeling face-down so she could continue enjoying her meal while you drooled, moaned, cried into the pillows until your legs gave out.

As she wiped you down gently that night, she contemplated. It had been a long while since she’d fucked someone who wasn’t one of Babette’s whores. Knowing you fell into her bed of your own volition, no gold attached, did something for her psychologically. There was no obligation in spite of her status. Just raw attraction. Desire.

She could get used to that.

Thus began your little relationship, although there’s hesitation in the term. Emotions are hard for Sevika. But, while she never addresses them aloud, you know she cares for you. Otherwise, she wouldn’t hide her metal arm under a pillow at night so you can rest on her without hurting yourself. She wouldn’t keep a box of your favourite tea in her home for when you spent the night. Nor keep that alcove in the Drop where it all began vacant every night, giving you somewhere clean and quiet to relax in during your visits, away from the obnoxious music. She certainly wouldn’t be paying your rent to give you more time to focus on your passions.

While your attraction certainly extends beyond sex, that’s the foundation of things. That’s what she’s most comfortable with. She oozes confidence and dominion between the sheets. Before her, you thought the expression “seeing stars” was purely metaphorical, until she made you come so hard that white spots danced about your eyes.

No two nights are the same with Sevika. There’s always a new pattern, a new position, a new location. Some nights are slower, full of titillation and passion. Others are downright pornographic, but with boundaries in place and your comfort the top priority. It’s exhilarating.

Ruination is almost always her objective. The sex may last the night, the soreness the morning after, but the flashbacks…those last until the next time she fucks you, and then some.

You can still feel the phantom sensation of her from last night.

Wrists cuffed to the bedframe – the inside of the metal was padded with something soft, she isn’t a monster – you lay face-down in the pillows, knelt obediently, presenting your glistening wetness to her. An indent of her teeth sunk into the skin of your thigh from when she feasted upon you against the bedroom wall, insisting she couldn’t make it to the bed without a little taste. Her organic thumb ghosted over the mark as she hummed, your nectar still fresh on her tongue.

“Ain’t that a sight,” she purred, deliciously husky, her metal hand carefully gripping the flesh of your rear, spreading you for a better look. You heard her chuckle darkly from her stance behind you before letting go.

“You know, one of the goons I gambled against tonight had this topsider bimbo on his arm.” Two warm, rough fingers find their way onto your clit, pressing a circle into the nerves. “Helped me bleed his pockets dry even faster, but man, was she gripping that arm tight.” The tips of her claws raked feather-light up your back, sending a shiver down your spine. You felt her breath on your shoulder as she wove the augmented hand through your hair, expertly making a fist that didn’t leave you in any pain, only gasping in delight. “Made me miss how tight that little pussy feels around my fingers,” Sevika smirked.

In one swift, concupiscent motion, the devil of a woman tugged on your hair and sheathed two fingers in your drenched heat to the knuckle. The cuffs rattled as you gripped the bedframe tight, panting at the sudden fullness brought by her long, thick fingers. She adjusted her wrist, curling the fingers down, hooking them and giving a slow, rough thrust, ripping a moan from your lips. There was no need for exploration, no trial and error – she knew exactly where to press them against to have you thoroughly wrecked.

Lewd squelching resonated through the room as she began to drill her fingers into you, impossibly deep, at a steady pace. The position only did a favour for the brute’s stamina; she’d keep you there as long as she pleased. Her claw in your hair forced your back into an arch, letting her hammer your sweet spot freely, and stopping you from muffling your mewls of bliss in the bedding.

“Oh, fu-ck,” you whimpered, legs shaking under the force of her thrusts. Your sensitivity from her earlier ministrations only added to her onslaught. You felt so good, stretched around her relentlessly pounding digits. Pleasure welled up in your core alarmingly fast, a heavenly pressure forming on the verge of bursting, fire consuming your veins. Sevika never altered her tempo, never pulled them out far enough to give you a moment’s reprieve.

Wanton sounds spilled freely from your parted lips as you spiralled towards your precipice. “’Vika, fuck,” you gasped, knuckles turning pale from your clenched grasp on the bedframe. “Please, ‘Vika, please don’t st-op—”

“I know, baby, I know,” she grunted. “We’re not stopping until you’re dripping down my arm, princess.”

Someone had called you “princess” in the past, and you hated it. There was condescendence in the name. The underlying implication that you were spoiled, ungrateful and haughty.

But when she calls you “princess” – usually while she’s buried inside of you, or about to be, or you’re begging for her to be – it’s different. Sure, there are times where she uses the name to be condescending, cooing it when you’re trembling and split open on the thick onyx strap she loves so dearly, but there’s always respect to the title. A sweet undertone that you’re treasured, no matter often you succumb to debauchery in her grasp. Even if she spoils you with pleasure, keeping you dumb and cumming in the bedroom, you’re still important and valued.

And you love it. Whyever would you want to be with someone spritely with commitment issues and financial instability, when instead, you can have the affection of this tall glass of fine wine?

It might not be the healthiest disposition by societal standards, but you couldn’t give a shit. Society doesn’t see the way Sevika holds you at night. Doesn’t hear the way she laughs out a “dumbass” in the morning when you attempt to flip a pancake, only for it to end up decorating the kitchen floor, with an enamoured smile on her face. Doesn’t feel the delicate press of her lips to your temple when she has to leave.

She’s a menace, absolutely. But never to you.

Mr. Love MC’s Choice: Gavin

We fellow producers all have our favorite LI in the game for whom we save our gems and dates, replay their chapters over and over again, sucking our bank accounts dry during the process. And that’s what makes this game so fun! However in my opinion MC’s personal choice is Gavin. I will try to explain it as thoroughly as possible in this post. Obviously they are only my personal opinions at the end of the day so please don’t freak out if you beg to differ ^_^

There are spoilers ahead and this post is a long one, you were warned!

A big, warm hug and grandious thanks to @smallersocksx​ for proof reading so fast and sharing her ideas! <3  </p>

Up until now, I’ve always analyzed ships in subtopics, so this time won’t be any different so I will just dive right into it:

Body Language

The law of attraction between two people in a romantic way has some thumb rules, one of them is that when you like someone then you try to touch them at every opportunity. From all of our LI’s Gavin is by far the one with the most body contact to the MC (The main story only atm, I will come to his dates in a minute ;)). I think the anime speaks for itself, in every single Gavin episode and some of other LI’s episodes (ahem…ep 10 but also ep 11…ahem) Gavin and MC are always in an embrace or a meaningful “hands-on” moment…In the game MC and Gavin are quite often touchy with each other, MC seems to not holding her hands back every time she feels like Gavin’s hurt and reflexively touches him, she is also highly concerned about his hair since every time his hair get messed up by the wind, rain or hormones (swh ;)), MC doesn’t waste any second before correcting his hair. Every reunion they have results in MC reaching out her hands towards Gavin and surprisingly never other way around. Even in a perillious moment in chapter 22 when Gavin goes completely wild and unleashes his “beast-self” the first thing MC wants to do is embrace him. In chapter 24, at the very end among all routes, MC only tells Gavin that she’s missed him and hugs him. Chapter 27...again MC wants to check Gavins body for injuries and tends to them the second they are alone in a closed room. They both yearn for each other’s touch all the way, no matter in which narrative.

If I were to start counting Gavin’s touchy touchy moments on the other hand, then we have to prepare a 4 volumes encyclopedia because that male individual is all about touching MC. Another hint for their closeness is that MC makes notes on Gavin’s scent quite often, mostly related to his jacket or his embrace and while doing it, she always uses adjectives like “clean”, “distinct” or “unique”. Again in ch. 15 she knows its Gavin standing behind her even without looking, because she senses his scent: “A scent that I’d recognize anywhere”. Surely there are many scenes, where MC holds hands with another LI or makes a remark of their scent, but they are not at the intensity or frequency level that of Gavin’s.

       2. The Setting

All four LI’s are representing a certain archetypes women are usually attracted to:

Kiro is a pop idol (target audience 13-15)

Victor is the young successful businessman with a high dominant demeanour and Mr. Grey-ish attitude (target audience 25 upwards or any 50 shades of Grey reader)

Lucien is a young attractive professor with a mysterious and enigmatic vibe (target audience 20-24)

Gavin is the misunderstood bad boy (high school) and later a righteous police officer (16-19 for the bad boy Gavin and 20 upwards for the righteous police officer, special agent, military commander... a pilot?! anything including a uniform fetish)

So, in the game, Elex could take any of these paths and develop it in a way that the chosen path becomes a true love story. I gotta admit, Victor’s story comes at times very close to being one. However, his never-ending bickering and belittling in his 90% of the time cold demeanour just make him lose major points. Plus, MC mostly goes along with Victor’s tone, even though she is a kind and friendly person, she bickers with Victor not because that’s her personality but because that’s the way she can cope with him. If only he were a little bit less domineering.. Which is why I never feel like MC and Victor would belong together irl. 

Seemingly Elex and Mappa take Gavin’s way imo. Because… 

In the main story MC loves all of the LIs in a different way and also has romantic feelings to each one of them to a certain degree, but when we look at it closely and read in between the lines of MC’s thoughts Gavin is a little bit more romantically portrayed than the other guys. 

           a) First of all Gavin had a crush on MC during high school cannonically: Even though Gavin only says that it was a farewell letter, MC says once that she wishes that she could’ve read that “love letter”.  I will stop here with Gavin’s feelings because this post focuses on MC. 

           b) MC, too, was kinda into Gavin during high school because in Episode 18, when she goes to Loveland Hugh during her farewell tour before going with her ultimate sacrifice , she remembers Gavin in intimate things like “watching his athletic body” or “wearing men’s clothes-meaning his-”. Additionally she remembers taking note of his face shining in the sun in the very back of the line during her recital. Even before it all she was specifically interested in him. Her memories with the other LI s are comprised of rather friendly moments like flying kites together but when it comes to Gavin she once again thinks about more intimate elements. Not to mention that the game gives MC a farewell with Gavin. In her final moments she only thinks that for Gavin her grievance would be the hardest. In the End of the Abyss era (ch. 15-18) MC meets all of the LIs after their changes again and reacts to all of them with joy…surely, but only when she sees Gavin hovering above her in the helicopter it is again…drum roll…drama: “The next second I saw a pair of amber eyes…shining like brilliant skies” this girl is always romanticizing Gavin.

“-Can you hear me?

-Can you see me?

-See my heart pounding again at the sight of you?” (so are you saying that your heart wasn’t pounding before? oh ok ;))

Fast forward to CH34 where MC fights Leto for the final time and remembers our guys and again, while she remembers other LIs for their sacrifices and their protection of her, she remembers Gavin's warm arms...

           c)The game takes his time and turns the half of a whole chapter into a date in chapter15 Ep 1-9. There is no other chapter in the game where MC spends time with any of the other LI’s in which there is only the two of them, whereas nothing relevant to the main story happens and they share solely many sweet, romantic and almost hot (when MC tries to dry Gavin’s face in her flat and realizes that she stands way too close to him, she then prepares herself to say something, but gets interrupted by the alarm) and again, MC is getting close to Gavin, not the other way around like Lucien pushing MC against the blackboard, that little sneaky Lucien (actually I could write a post with a masterlist of Lucien’s advances to MC:D).

           d) MC’s premonitions revolve mostly around Gavin (when they are not about the whole world or the black queen). Her dream about the rooftop rescue, her Room 404 dream, her daydream in the office in 6-13 in which Gavin’s suffering and from which she wakes up crying out his name leading to Willow, Kiki and Anna remark on playfully how unfair it is to dream about Gavin and disregarding the other guys. She also sees his future in episode 15 twice! If I am not mistaken, she only sees Victor’s future once in her dream and a vague vision of him in ch 18 but other than that she has no premonitions about Lucien or Kiro. Besides in the anime MC uses her power unintentionally yet instinctively twice while having Gavin in mind in episodes 5 and 8. The third time, she uses her powers in this way is in episode 11 with Victor but he is not her driving force for this but she is driven by the imminent danger they both are in and she doesn’t particularly think about Victor at this moment. In the game it additionally happens in chapter 22 when Gavin is cornered by the mechanical arms and is in a tight spot, this sight makes MC have a surge of rage and to unleash her powers in a great magnitude. Gavin is Queen’s soft spot i.e. More importantly Gavin is a constant part of MC’s future frame. She has her visions about other LI’s past but when it comes to Gavin it’s only his future. MC doesn’t have visions about Gavin’s past, like, ever. While Kiro, Lucien and Victor are stuck in their pasts with MC, Gavin has made peace with his past, is living in the present and looking forward the future (one of his best qualities imo, not being stuck in the past). Ironically, it’s MC, who’s stuck in the past in Gavin’s case. 

       e) I will intentionally not delve much into S2 stuff, but one thing has to be in this post…We know that in S2 MC goes back in time and relives the last 17 years. During these 17 years she makes sure to spend her high school years close to Gavin. So given the chance to rewrite her past, she would choose to make good for the lost years that she regretted dearly in S1 (she gushes out about her regrets in S2 Late Autumn Date in detail). We are yet to find out more about the nature of their relationship during high school, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they had a “will they, won’t they” situation. Since the game wouldn’t put any of the guys in an ex-boyfriend role, that would be the most romantic frame possible.

        3.  How other people see Gavin x MC

f) In CH 36, the one before CH 37, where every LI gets the same intimate moment with MC, only Lucien and Gavin are getting close to kissing her to which MC doesn't show any rejection towards... She is the one accidentally kissing Gavin btw and this is the only time before CH37 that MC either accidentally or willingly kiss any LI on his face or near his lips.

g) In S1, MC only posts two pics with the boys in her moments. One of them is a selfie with Lucien and the second one is with Gavin, hugged from behind. No other LIs ever have a moment with MC. Neither on their accounts, nor on MCs.

It is always a good indicator to look at how other characters perceive a particular ship. For Gavin and MC, it is almost obvious that once they are standing side by side, others see them instantly as a couple. Sure, at the orphanage some children ask Lucien if MC is his girlfriend or that one actress threatens MC to stay away from Victor because he’s hers (btw what happened to her?) With Gavin however, it’s practically a running joke. 

As mentioned above, her once daydream in the office with Gavin shoutout in CH 6-13 drew the attention of her co-workers, leading them to mock her for thinking about him too much even though her dream was rather a nightmare. Besides, Gavin is the one showing up the most in MC’s office and he also lift her up to his shoulders once in the Visiting Hours date and Homer took a pic of that hilarious moment. 

Every time MC is at STF HQ, respectively, Gavin’s co-workers or subordinates too take note of her presence and in chapter 12 they are even caught red-handed by one of the agents as MC is busy “correcting” Gavin’s hair (because see point 1). Eli seems to be aware of the intimacy between the two and even probably assumes that they’ve done the deed, because in ch 12 he is surprised to hear that MC hasn’t seen Gavin’s wound yet. He presumes that she already saw him naked…oh Eli! Season 2 has even more eminent scenes, we just have to wait and see.

In chapter 15 when they deliver Perry to the hospital, they are mistaken to be his parents by the hospital personnel not once but twice! Needless to say, they don’t find it necessary to correct the misunderstanding. I mean Perry is, what, 6…MC 22, Gavin 24 but they automatically think that they must be the parents?! Sure thats common sense- wink wink nudge nudge ¬‿¬ -

In chapter 22 Shaw makes a comment on MC willing to go to where Gavin is  with a “Really, all you do is following him, isn’t it?”. He uses MC to trigger Gavin in Airport date as well.

And of course, there is Minor…The ultimate number one wingman and the most original Gavin-stan! Minor uses everything in his power to bring them together both in the main story and in dates. He even calls her Sis-in-Law in public in CH 35 which MC doesn't reject. This doesn’t even need explanation.

Last but not least:

Their couple chemistry went viral lol.

Visually speaking, when they stand side by side, for me Gavin and MC look the most like a couple (Kiro is too childish and fashion icony compared to MC and Victor is too mature and business attire-ish making him look like her uncle rather than boyfriend, Lucien is the only one besides Gavin who actually suits MC visually). I am not saying that looks are the main indicator btw so don’t lynch me please ^_^

Come to think about it, MCs life is intertwined with that of Gavin's the most. Considering how she knows his father, brother and colleagues and spends so much time in "his world" whether it's at STF or NW. In the main story MC and Gavin have their favorite restaurants (ehm it's never souvenir due to obvious reasons 😉), share the same passion for music, have many common memories from high school and most importantly their world views are very similar. Both are prioritizing others safety over themselves and are compassionate for anyone who is in need. They are both ambitious and hardworking but not to the point of being power driven. Both are humble and finding hapinness in the smallest things. Maybe that's why they say the same things simultaneously or say the things the other would say simultaneously. MC and Gavin are highly compatible and have a harmonious, healthy relationship despite the conspiracy around them.

     4. Anime

Okay okay, listen…Yes, the anime wasn’t the best adaptation and many of us were disappointed by the ending (including me), still, the anime makes a part of canon MLQC universe and no Gavin-stan should complain about the anime because the anime put canonically Gavin on a pedestal. In a total of 12 episodes, all guys had 2 episodes each BUT Gavin was actually blessed with 3 episodes and so many romantic moments to count…let’s count them anyways :)

Mappa introduces all guys in episode 1 so MC encounters them all in the first 25 minutes but she first meets Gavin in episode 2 and the two spend almost the entire time of the episode together, not to mention the extremely romantic first-fly scene in the sunset. As I mentioned in point 1, MC and Gavin are always in physical contact in any given episode. Anime made sure to portray every single interaction they have romantically.

They even went so far to mix Gavin scenes in other guys episodes (he offers her a ride to work in ep 3, she has an emotional moment with him after the first shooting misunderstanding while Lucien is standing right next to her in ep 4, Gavin is the one to catch MC mid-air in ep 10, this episode ends with them in their life and death embrace falling down in dawn… and then he falls on her in ep 11).

When it’s a Gavin episode MC has no romantic scenes with any of the other guys, let alone having any scenes at all. Its only about Gavin in Gavin episodes. Also, the storyline is edited in a way that between MC and Gavin a romantic story develops. Their meet cute conspiracy, their misunderstanding with Lucien, followed by the “drop the senpai” offer and finally that 5 seconds long gaze deeply in the eyes in ep 8 while holding hands.

It is really sad that the anime ruined this development in the final episode but taking into consideration that there might be a second season, they probably chose to make the change in Gavin’s character after the NW project remarkable.

Another point in the anime is  that they kinda exaggerate Gavin’s Evol a little bit. During his stand-off with Lucien Gavin’s bullet cuts through Lucien’s shield and all in ep 8,11 and 12 there is a significant emphasis on the intensity and destructive power of Gavin’s Evol. I mean, whose Evol is the most upfront one in episode 12? We see Lucien using his Evol only twice, both very briefly, Kiro/Helios/Key and Victor even have to use guns to protect themselves and/or MC. Gavin’s shown using a pistole once at the beginning, after that it’s all turbines and tornadoes and just Gavin unleashed. 

I think it’s an exaggeration because in my personal opinion, Lucien is actually the one with the strongest Evol, followed by Victor and then comes Gavin. Lucien’s ability to copy an Evol is simply the strongest trait one could have, sure it comes with the downside that he then doesn’t have enough time and focus to excel in any of those Evols, Victor can literally create black holes are you kidding me?! But because his Evol has its limits it puts him in the second place. But in the anime, Gavin’s Evol is extremely powerful and destructive and they also created some really cool scenes in which Gavin uses his Evol in various styles (accelerating his bullets speed, dodging a bullet, lifting MC in any and every situation, flying- obviously- and sometimes just overpowered destruction).

But in the anime in comparison, Lucien looks like a copy-cat of Evols and Victor like someone who travels through time to find out nothing can change the course of events (on a side note I will never understand why did Mappa toned down Victor so heartlessly, he is a  powerful character and has countless sweet, emotional moments with MC).

        5. Dates

I left dates to the end because they are highly subjective and don’t belong to the main story. NEVERTHELESS, Gavin’s dates include here and there some hints which may indicate that MC tends to like Gavin maybe just a little bit more. I will just add it as bullet points here since I’m pretty sure that the list will be enriched over time.

Slightly drunken date: Shouting out loud in public “Gavin! I’m crazy for you!”

When the Galaxy Falls Date: “...and in that moment, I make an eternal vow in my heart. To give all the blazing love and the most endless warmth to the person in front of me. Standing on my tiptoes, I carry a heart which is filled with courage to move forward, receiving Gavin.”

2 become 1 date “No matter whether the wedding is real or fake I only want to be your bride.”  Here comes the Groom event where MC had a prob wedding with each and every LI but she actually only wanted to be Gavin’s bride (obviously Gavin’s heard her loud and clear since he’s bought a gem/ring right after) and that gem is brought up in…

The Returning from Afar Date - Thank you for silently watching over my mood. Thank you for always returning to my side no matter where you go. The white muslin drifts to and fro. My heart stirs, and I gently touch the muslin in front of me. Sunlight streams in. My fingertips brush the soft white muslin, tracing the word “Gavin” on it. I turn my head to the side, blinking at Gavin a little playfully. “This word - apart from it being your name, it also has another meaning. It’s “courage”. MC getting poetic, but who wouldn’t in that date (thank you @smallersocksx for reminding me and without @cheri-translates we poor Eng-server players would be left in the dark so thank you for translating season 2 for us!!!) but than MC verbally and literally makes her feelings clear in…

Late autumn date (2nd season translation by @cheri-translates) “I close my eyes, holding onto his solid arms. I lift my head to welcome his lips, savouring his unique breath. The person in front of me has shed off the roughness of youth, leaving behind only the purity of youth. He often makes me forget that he once used to be unrestrained like the wind. He has a body that is stronger than everyone else’s, a tough soul, a will that is as firm as steel, and a heart full of tenderness – it is soft beyond compare. 

I cling to his waist tightly using my calves, wanting to brand every part of him into my heart. 

“I want to bear his everything.” 

Gavin: “Do you like it?”

“I like it…I like it very much…I like it so much that I don’t know how to prove how much I like it” “The rest of my life is yours, The years that we’ve missed out on are also yours” (whatever I have, I will give it to you. I will give everything to you, leaving nothing behind)

I rest my case

Alright, everyone, this is a personal post as much as it’s a public post so feel free to scroll all the way down to the  colored text for the public part of the message but if you, like me, enjoy drama, then continue on!

So, to make a very, very, very long story short for those who don’t know, I call my birth mother Mother Gothel due to her emotionally abusive upbringing of me that caused me to suffer from severe depression, anxiety, and even hair loss! A few years ago, back in 2016, my friend-turned-sister drove down with her mother, packed me and my bags up, and gave me a place to live and start over where I’ve been able to get jobs, go to school, and become much healthier than I used to be! 

During those years of growth and recovery, however, I kept in contact with Gothel through emails and the occasional phone call. Over the years, from the safety of being hundreds of miles away, I told her that I was gay and dating a girl. The resulting emails were not pleasant and she had no problems about calling my girlfriend a whore. Lovely, right? 

Every email she has sent me has contained detailed bible quotes and scripture and needles of guilt over everything I’m doing “wrong.” She’s still “so proud of me,” however. So at least there’s that, right? 

As of recently I emailed her and told her that I will be attending a four-year university in Tacoma Washington (moving away from Illinois) to continue my education. Her resulting email was lengthy. Here is some of it - cut for length.

Hi Michelle.

... 

You have to watch everything you say this day and time, at least that is what Jesus said in the Book of Matthew 5:37-- "Let your Yes be Yes, and let your No be No. Anything else is from the evil one." (anotherwords the devil will take your words you speak and trip and mess you up land you in jail or prison for 10 yrs)That would be really sad after you work so hard for an education and degrees then let him mess you up but read in John 10:10--the enemy comes to steal--kill--destroy--but Jesus said I have come so that you may have life and have it more abundantly.  That is why Jesus said in Proverbs 18:21" Life and death are in the power of the tongue"

...

I was telling Mom on the phone just this morning we talked for two hours-- that I was going to get a restaurant job here as soon as possible and let it move me out of here--I am moveing to Battle Creek or Marshall by Sept (labor day) and that I was sooo excited that I would finally get to see you, she said either her or Carl would drive me to [REDACTED] every now and then to see you. So Yes, I feel like a bomb was just dropped on me, my heart is broken, however I hope you will be happy and I wish you well in body and spirit-- I wish you nothing but the best. Just know one thing is for sure, I read my Bible and I will tell you right now, we are living in our last days you need to be concerned about where you are going to spend eternity. I just finished up reading the book of Matthew. In Matthew 21:25 The Heading Reads: "The Coming of the Son of Man" vs 25- And their will be signs in the Sun, the Moon, the Stars--mens hearts will fail them for fear and the expectation of those things which are coming on the earth, for the powers of the heavens will be shaken. vs 27--THEN they will see the Son of Man coming in a cloud with Power and Great Glory. Now when these things begin to happen, look up and list up your heads, because your redemption draws near". Jesus said He would give us signs in the Heavens above and the earth beaneath. All of the earthquakes that have been happening for the last decade leading up to the Austrailian wildfires, and billions of animals died, God is giving us the signs, its just like He said in Matthew 24:36-44. 

Lastly, 1 Thessalonians 4 :13--But I do not want you to be ignorant brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God wil bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus. For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord will by no means precede those who are asleep. For the Lord Himself will descend from Heaven With A SHOUT--with the voice of an archangel, and with the Trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rist first. Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord, Therefore Comfort one another with these words.

After the Rapture, then comes the tribulation. I have read Revelation many times and to say the least you don't want to be left behind.  In Heaven their will be 30 mins of silence that is when all Hell breaks loose down here. Just whatever you do, Do NOT take the mark of the beast if you do, then you will mark your soul for eternal damnation. Then you will hear the devil say----"Hello! Welcome to Hell!

I am saying all of this bcuz now you have a choice to live for God or for Satan. If something should happen to your body or God forbid but if someone tries to take your life or you get in an accident and your heart is not right with God--That is exactly how you will stand at the Judgement Bar. The minute you take your last breath in this body, you will be ushered into the presence of God then it is too late to make a decision there it is if the Angel does not find your name in the Book of Life, then the devil stands there waiting to escourt you to------Well lets just say---You Don't want to go there. But the Bible says you will answer for every deed done in the body good and bad.I know one thing, it can't be too much longer according to scripture. The greatest tool the enemy uses from his toolbox is that you have plenty of time--well I can say the devil is a liar cuz Jesus just says--Be Ready it is not up to us how long we get to stay down here, that is God's calling.Second Timothy 3----But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come. For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away! For of this sort are those who creep into households and make captives of gullible women loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts, always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of truth. 

Sister, we are living in our last days, make every day that God gives you breath in your body count bcuz you don't know when it will be your last day. There is pleasure in sin for a season--Hebrews 11:24. Whatever you do, don't let the devil take your life and your soul, it is not worth it.

Love You So Much and want to make sure your soul doesn't go to H---.  I am praying that you will have a preacher as a husband.I miss you Michelle, I miss hugging you, I miss walking up those stairs to bring your meals to you I would LOVE to hug you just one more time. That may or may not happen before He Returns ony God knows this.Please write me back when you can, you are always on my heart and mind. I have made mistakes while we were all living at 2414, I am so very sorry I pray that you forgive me if I have offended you please forgive me, I thought I had it all together. But now I see, I was just messed up and made lots of wrong choices, but God came along with His Holy broom and cleaned up my mess and said to move on. I am so glad when He forgives our sins, He forgets never no more to be remembered. All I can say is ---Thank-you Jesus.

...

Love You Forever my dearest Daughter and Friend.

This is the average email from her and I’ve been told that it’s not normal to receive emails this long talking about how she’s ‘devastated’ by my choices and how the world is going to end in hellfire soon. Please allow me, however, to show the email she immediately sent after the above.

[T]acoma is Washington's most dangerous city, with a violent crime rate of 953 incidents per 100,000 residents. While this is a relatively high rate — the 96th worst in the country — the city's incidence of property crime stands out even more. ... Indeed, the city had the country's 15th highest property crime rate in 2016

The overall crime rate in Tacoma is 138% higher than the national average. For every 100,000 people, there are 16.81 daily crimes that occur in Tacoma. Tacoma is safer than 3% of the cities in the United States. In Tacoma you have a 1 in 17 chance of becoming a victim of any crime.

Have you done the research for this city?They said Tacoma is the most violent city in Washington,I love you and want you to be happy. There are sooo many universities with the same opportunities.

How would you get around, does your friend drive? I did see how beautiful the area is but you just have to be careful I guess everywhere you go. 

As you can see, she immediately invalidates my choice - something I was very truly wonderfully excited about - and sends me a message that triggers my anxiety. I should note that she did not allow me out of the house without her even when I was an adult and over 18. If I went somewhere she had to be there with me.

Ah, but now we come to today and the email that spurred this post to creation. The above emails were sent two days ago and I have yet to respond. The email below was sent just today. 

Hi Michelle.

While I cannot apologize for what I said, It was not my intention to offend you in any way. I just went to google and typed in most dangerous city in the state of Washington and Tacoma popped up, that is out of 100 cities in the state.Okay, I know you say you have been there and all and you are no match for all of the evil there. God forbid, should something happen to you--you would be just another name and another number to them there is no much evil there they can't control it, I say to you just watch on a daily basis all of the crime that goes on in that sin city.

You better be praying about this cuz I don't think God would want you to put yourself in harms way--make a wiser choice, and God will bless you for it.Look at what happened to kobe bryant incident.... they met a very bad situation face to face and of course their was no way they could turn that around. My whole point of conversation.....sure you can do what you want bcuz you are an adult grown woman, but I would strongly advise you to pray to God about it and make a wise choice here, your life and future depends on right choices you make now.

What about University of Michigan in Ann Arbor or East Lansing University, Michigan University Kalamazoo, they are on the ten universities in Michigan. You need to reconsider your decision and think about your resourses you can get more help from family  bcuz I have all kinds of family up there and I will be up there soon. You are no match for Tacoma Washington. I only say this bcuz you are my daughter and I don't want something really bad come out of this just bcuz you are trying to get an education behind you--this calls for wise decisions.

You may never speak to me again, but I just want to inform you that you need to be very very cautious here.

Love You Forever.

... 

“You may never speak to me again.” 

...

This is the last email I have read from her and it will remain the last email I will ever read from her. I also will not be sending her any emails ever again because you know what? 

Her scared, anxious daughter Michelle Jean Anderson died and I’m what’s left - and I’m sick of her shit. 

So, hello, everybody! My name is Andy Alex Anderson and my pronouns are he/him (or they/them if you panic and forget) and it’s a pleasure to meet you! 

Weird Asks that Say a Lot  Meme...

My friend the wonderful @meanwhileonwednesday suggested I fill out Every even number for the 'weird asks that say a lot', so here I am. Thanks, friend! XD

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

Chocolates.

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

At my first school? Artistically talented and perceptive (one teacher was very vividly impressed by my grasp of duck anatomy at like 5 years old). Then there’s the teacher at my new school who thought I had special needs because I was withdrawn (I was being bullied by most of the class, really); she was a new teacher and not really equipped to deal with that. By the end of primary school, I went back to being commended on my work ethic and smarts and artistic ability.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

Hmmm I think my work clothes are mostly a formal/preppy mix. With a little bit of boho thrown in, particularly when I’m at home.

8. movies or tv shows?

I prefer movies, because they represent a lot less commitment (America, please stop giving everything like 17 seasons, I beg of you!), however TV show episodes are shorter and easier to slot into your life than a full movie.

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

I was generally awful in PE. I liked benchball, can’t say that I was good in it, being yet another game where being short doesn’t do you any favours.

12. name of your favorite playlist?

Either my Kickass playlist, or my Reflective playlist.

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Starburst.

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

Curled up, on my side, in a nice big armchair with my legs hanging off the side. Surrounded by pillows, and probably a cat or two.

18. ideal weather?

Picture this: it’s a sunny day; warm but not too hot. Maybe around 24 degrees celsius. There’s a warm breeze; it’s not stifling, and it’s not cold enough to make you shiver. The trees rustle with the sound of the wind; change is in the air. You can go out in short sleeves, perhaps with the thinnest of cardigans if like me your metabolism basically died 300 years ago.

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Depends on what I’m writing. I am the kind of ineffectual person who starts to write tings in a notebook, but also a couple of word docs. I have post- it notes for important things. I document ideas for my comic in a note/sketch book. I love doodling in my sketchbooks.

22. role model?

I never really had one, growing up. I guess the closest I’d get is David Attenborough.

24. favorite crystal?

My birthstone is ruby (which is red; my favourite colour!) however I also love opals; I love their irdescent (OK, opalescent, technically) sparkliness and the way they shimmer with lots of colours. I don’t see why everyone prefers massive diamonds when opals are like... so much cooler. I I don’t actually own any, but maybe one day I’ll be able to buy myself a nice one.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Go for a nice long walk, take lots of pictures, have a picnic in the park. No, I lie, my favourite activity is roping someone I care about into doing it all with me, and having even more fun. 

28. five songs to describe you?

Home - Ellie Goulding Fight Song - Rachel Platten Working Woman’s Blues - Valerie June Alive - Bird Set Free My Medea - Vienna Teng

30. places that you find sacred?

Already been answered.

32. top five favorite vines?

Alas, hard to name off the top of my head. I mainly know vines from various compilations.

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

Right now? Thankfully none of them.

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

That’s impossible to say! Memes were a thing before internet memes became a thing. I’d say that ‘S’ shape we all drew in primary school? Nursery rhymes? Who knows.

38. lemonade or tea?

They don’t usually compete for my love, but i have tea more often than lemonade, purely due to availability reasons.

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

Some students climbed onto the roof.

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

Honestly? Skirt pockets. But being a woman, jacket pockets are usually woefully ineffectual and small. Trouser pockets are a bit better, but again usually small. Whereas if someone puts pockets on a skirt, they make sure they are actually proper pockets!

44. favorite scent for soap?

Maybe honey, or roses, or jasmine.

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

A baggy pair of PJs; I’m a dress for comfort kind of girl. Particularly since the places I’ve lived haven’t always been great in the heating department. I’ve been known to sleep in a hoodie when it gets cold.

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

I would like to be a berry, or maybe an apple. Something pinkish red. Sweet, and a little sharp.

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

Probably my little brother astounding me with how grown-up he is about things. He’s pretty awesome. Or my mum just saying something wildly, hilariously inappropriate XD

52. favorite font?

I love the Komika font family for my comic. I used to use Bookman Old Style, Book Antiqa, Georgia or classic Arial for essays and things like that, when they didn’t specify Times New Roman.

54. what did you learn from your first job?

Always call the med reg if you are stuck, be nice to the nurses and always help each other. OK, I did lots of volunteering in hospital before FY1. In which case my

56. favorite tradition?

My family/culture have a specific tradition on the morning of an exam/interview/life event where you fill a cup with water and a couple of plant leaves (Slavs love putting greenery into everything). You place it at the threshold,  and give it a good kick it with your dominant foot. It symbolises your knowledge flowing, and I guess it’s a good luck charm.. You also aren’t meant to look back (literally); because you should be focusing on the task at hand. As a kid it was a comforting good luck ritual, and I don’t think I ever really grew out of it.

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

I’m proud of my artistic skills, modest though they are. I enjoy creating, and I enjoy that I can make things to cheer up my friends, or things that people here can relate to.

By extension, I’m good with my hands, and that usually translates to picking up procedures and things like that pretty quickly at work. And yes, I love being able to get that cannula in (especially if it’s on the first go!)  when nobody else can. It’s a tiny, tiny thing, but it sparks a little joy. I can develop good rapports with people; which means I can help them to confide their problems, and can help them to feel better or to address things that are bothering them. It’s really mostly about listening and not being judgemental. I am proud that I can sometimes make people feel better, and feel listened to. I’m proud that I learned to try to work through my feelings. As a young person who was really quite stressed, I somehow learned how to apply what’s basically CBT to keep myself relatively sane, and I think it’s helped me a lot. It was only much later that I realised it was basically CBT when I was comparing notes with friends actually going through those kinds of therapies. I’m not perfect at it, and my mind tests me on a regular basis, but it helps.

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

I don’t know what I’d like to be in? Maybe a Ghibli film. I think I’d like that.  When I was at school, a close friend of mine just turned around and said “OMG, you’re just like an anime character”, to fervent agreement from my peers. I guess they meant one of those chirpy, ditzy shojo anime characters. I can still see myself as some shojo series heroine; frantically trying to keep it together under the pressures of magical girldom, being romantically inept, trying to fight off the baddie of the week whilst learning lessons about getting along with each other, being helpful and not being mean.

62. seven characters you relate to?

Right now? Sophie from Howl’s moving castle, Princess Carolyn from Bojack Horseman, Miranda Otto from D. Gray-Man, Elinor Dashwood from Sense and Sensibility, The Red Blood Cell from Cells at Work, Kiki from Kiki’s delivery service, and Aggressive Retsuko.

64. favorite website from your childhood?

I used to love looking at other people’s art on Elfwood or Deviantart.

66. favorite flower(s)?

Today I’m feeling the answer is lilacs.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Ugh anything bitter.

70. left or right handed?

I’m ridiculously right handed, but I’ve learned to use my left hand more effectively because of procedures etc. I’m really good with my hands, but my right hand takes over like 80% of the work.

72. worst subject?

PE in school, biochemistry at university.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

At home, maybe a 3, because I don’t see the point in suffering needlessly. However at work I’ll do whatever it takes to keep functional including taking pain relief before it gets bad because I don’t want to have to deal with pain and an on-call. I’m not sure if the scale is logarithmic? I’d rate the worst pain that I’ve had 5 ot a 6, and that made me vomit and curl up into a ball and basically unable to do anything. But I can imagine pain that’s much, much worse than that was, so perhaps I just can’t thin

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

This kind of new potato salad my mum makes with onions. Raw onions are totally a trigger food for my IBS, and any time my mum feeds me anything full of onions, she’ll tell me I can take them out if they upset my tummy. And every single time I’ll pile even more onions into my plate because there’s no way I’m letting my gut dictate my life. Turns out, I’m even more stubborn than my IBS; I just don’t want to give up some of the foods that set things off. My GP once recommended a FODMAP diet, and having had a look at all the stuff I’d have to cut, I resolved I’d only start cutting things if my symptoms got really bad.

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Honestly, I have no pretentions to snobbery. The best coffee is the one you get when you are about to collapse on a night shift, even if much, much better coffee exists in the world. And the best sushi is the plain supermarket one you get between on-calls to treat yourself, even if the one from a good restaurat is so much nicer.

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

I wear a lot of jewel tones, but I also wear a lot of earth tones, and I don’t really see them as being in competition. Rock all the colours!

82. pc or console?

Phone. XD I don’t play much on either, mainly due to time. Phone has the benefit of being in my pocket when I’m at a loose end on the bus, or at my parents’. I don’t sit down and make time to play, I play games in the stolen minutes here and there when I don’t have much to do.

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Classical music radio in the office (because it’s the most neutral), retro stations in the car (or whatever your guests would like), and podcasts at home when you are by yourself.

84. barbie or polly pocket?

I didn’t have a real Barbie (fairly sure ours were knockoff dolls) but I do have fond memories of making outfits for our toys. Though our favourites were always various little animal models who got into all sorts of adventures.

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cookies, but it’s a close call. Really, I’d have to say biscuits, since I eat those more often than either of the above.

88. your greatest wish?

For myself? To be happy. For others? Ditto. 

90. luckiest mistake?

Getting into my first degree. Feels like I fell into it, but it set me off on a great path, and I don’t regret that my initial path was far from straightforward.

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

All of the above.

94. favorite season?

That kind of Spring-Summer interface when all the plants are in bloom, and the weather is warm but not too hot, and the days are long.

96. desktop background?

Arietty’s bedroom from the Ghibli Borrowers film adaptation. I’m a sucker for ghibli aesthetic; usually because my rooms end up similarly haphazardly adorned with cool things. 

98. favorite historical era?

Every era has its own awesomeness. I feel very fondly for the regency period because of all the books I’ve read set in it, likewise the Victorian period. Though both aren’t without their problems. I realised that I style my hair like a Victorian; centrally parted with a neat, low bun at the nape of the neck. XD

I think that might be all the questions! Phew!

tagged by the amazing @h-lovely!

List all the things you’re currently working on in as much or little detail as you’d like, then tag some friends to see what they’re working on.

This can be writing, art, vids, gifsets!

uhhhhhh look i think we all know what i’m capable of so i’m not apologizing for what this list contains. but hey, some short snippets!

1. bbac 27: 

“Guess you can’t do anything worse to him with all of that flopping about,” Taichi reasons, and Kenjirou shoots him a dirty look. “Where’s Tendou?”

Wakatoshi lets out a particularly pained sound, and Kenjirou hastily helps him from listing to the side so much.

“Is this something your healer friend can fix?”

Wakatoshi shakes his head, just once, then his head lolls so steeply that Kenjirou is horribly worried it might just fall off his neck. He feels sick at the thought.

Instead, Wakatoshi dies, still propped upright.

Athena lets out a warbling screech.

2. political intrigue 36: 

“You’re staring,” Koushi says, gaze still out the window of the carriage, chin in hand, lips quirked just the tiniest bit to reveal his affections.

Daichi likes being one of Koushi’s affections.

“Perhaps I’m still in awe that I’m wedded to such a beautiful man,” Daichi says, half a lie, and relishing the lack of silver on his wrists.

Keiji snorts unattractively.

Daichi ignores him.

3: the will to protect 5: 

“How much of this did Shirabu make you rehearse to say to me?”

“That’s not what you said next in the script,” Terushima replies, then dares to crack a smile.

And Futakuchi smiles right back.

Everything is still raw between them, but at least they can share the couch (at opposite ends) and talk. At least Futakuchi can kind of feel human with caffeine in his system and… when was the last time he ate? He can’t taste the bagel but his stomach welcomes it.

“You have a ring?” Futakuchi asks around the lip of his cup. “Like… a magic one? I thought there weren’t any more.”

4. snowed in sinja fic: 

Ja’far accepts a horn of something strong-smelling with a benign smile.

He tries not to drink at public functions. As much as he loathes it, he and Sinbad have worked out a seamless system of passing drinks back and forth to make it seem as if Ja’far has finished whatever spirits have been given to him. Sinbad can hold his alcohol far better, and he is infuriatingly satisfied at Ja’far being the one to hand him more.

But at least a satisfied Sinbad means he is less likely to misbehave in other ways.

As the story lulls—a necklace is not as impressive to show off as a sword had been, after all—the inevitable comes up.

5. fake dating 6: 

Mai wasn’t picking up her phone.

Kenji, all things considered, thought it a little fair to show up at her house. He wasn’t thinking, sue him. Or maybe he was thinking too much. Either way, he needed someone to talk him down from homicide. Or maybe just screaming himself hoarse in the rain like a cliche movie.

Or, more likely and worse: ruining his friendship with Aone—or making things with Kamasaki impossibly worse.

6. kaga’s bnha au: 

“You said you saw Oikawa-san,” Kageyama says, awkward as all hell. Hajime looks up at him, and Kageyama automatically studies the far wall, trying too hard to seem casual. “I didn’t see him in any of the files, sir.”

“I can see that.” Oikawa Tooru is nowhere to be found in any of this. None of the photos of the hostages or the few villains captured match up. Several more got away, but no one had heard anything about any hostages taken with them. It’s possible there is more to this, things the police or heroes aren’t aware of, but a human being doesn’t simply disappear into thin air.

Twice.

But Tooru isn’t here. Hajime sees not a hair from him, including statements from other hostages. True, it’d been chaotic, and he doesn’t expect strangers to pay much attention to each other while they’re scared. (More training he’d undergone: learning to forgive civilians for being scared, for being inattentive, for being imperfect.)

Hajime sighs, pinches the bridge of his nose, and tells himself he’s too old to go through the stages of grief for a cold case six years old.

7. daisuga oneshot: 

“It’s a contrast thing,” Suga adds, smoothing both hands along Daichi’s thighs until they reach his briefs, “so maybe something like schoolgirls, except without that weird power dynamic. I really prefer thinking that I’m going to fuck my very handsome, very wholesome husband than some young girl I’d be in charge of teaching. Teaching is very unsexy, anyway, I don’t know why people are into it.”

“You’ve never seen yourself in glasses,” Daichi can’t help but reply.

“I look in mirrors. We can’t all have the burning desire to come on glasses like you do.”

“I have never once shamed you for your weird fetishes, and now you come into my house, and tell me I can’t come on my husband’s glasses—ow!” Daichi glares down at Suga again, and Suga grins against him, teeth bright against Daichi’s leg where he’s biting him. And not at all in the sexy way.

8. tequila might make kurama’s clothes fall off but yusuke and hiei sure don’t: 

“Please elaborate on that,” Kurama says, flatly.

Yusuke doesn’t give much thought to backpedaling or trying to figure out what sort of delicate demonic sensibility he might’ve offended, because well, his comment had been worded to evoke a reaction. He puts up both hands in surrender, because no one needs to get fed to flowers today.

“Don’t get your panties in a knot, I didn’t mean it like that,” Yusuke says, and Kurama’s expression doesn’t waver, though somehow it warms, just a few degrees. Yusuke wonders when he’s gotten so good at parsing out Kurama’s subtleties, but he supposes he’s always kinda been good with people. Demons, too, apparently.

(Maybe it’s just because he spends so much goddamned time staring at Kurama’s face. Probably not.)

9. kozume kenma’s guide to... something: 

“You’re moping!” Shouyou exclaims like he’s delighted by the fact that Kenma suffers from normal human emotions.

Except he doesn’t. At least not the pining, sulking, moping kind. Pining is for a far-away release date. Sulking is for when Tora calls him short. And Kenma just doesn’t mope at all.

“That one,” Kenma says, nodding down the bar to a young man with a ponytail and a lot of freckles.

“No bet,” Shouyou declares. Kenma turns to glare at him. “That’s Tadashi! He’s in my class, and he’s half-tanuki. You won’t be able to get close without him smelling all the dog on you.”

“I don’t smell like dog.”

“Do too.”

10. sugawara koushi’s guide to wearing your new girlfriend’s clothes (results may vary): 

But with two attractive people in close proximity (nevermind the way they’re both dressed; while off-duty, Akaashi prefers to dress like he’s just come from the world’s most fashionable funeral), the other patrons aren’t quite so skittish, and Akaashi is soon accosted again.

This time, it’s by a man with the ears and tails (two, both very happy) of a dog, and Suga bursts into giggles at how fast his tails are wagging. She can’t quite hear what he’s saying because of the music, but she can guess: Oh, you are the most beautiful dog person I’ve ever seen, I don’t care if you’re a werewolf, please do me the honor of stepping on me tonight and let’s howl at the moon together.

Judging on Akaashi’s tightening grip, Suga may have been narrating that aloud.

The stranger doggy man steps closer, and Suga’s best friend wolfy man steps back. Suga steps back twice to give them space, then decides it’s for her best interest to stop teasing Akaashi and maybe find another attractive stranger as company for the evening.

She gets two more steps before Akaashi tugs her back, this time sending her stumbling. It’s a good excuse for Akaashi to turn away from the man hitting on him. Unfortunately, even in flats, Suga is far from stable, and she not only manages to stumble into someone else, but she pulls Akaashi along with her.

The resulting domino chain catches nearly half a dozen people.

2017 in Review

All questions originally made from here. I copied and didn’t change them, but wanted to answer them in my own post. 

2017 is about... two hours and fifty-five minutes from being done, and while I’m tired, I do want to stay up until the new year comes so I can drink some Hello Kitty kid’s champagne with my mom then pass out on the sofa bed.

So here’s a detailed review of my 2017. Below the cut since it’s quite a bit wordy.

1. What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before?

This year, I tried Koto! My teacher for shamisen plays both instruments -koto and shami- so I decided to give it a try. No regrets: I absolutely love it and will be playing my first concert on 1/27. It’s really exciting and has inspired me to try my hand at a few other instruments.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

No and yes: I didn’t make resolutions, but I have made goals for next year that I truly plan to keep. All of them are completely for me: I’m really making 2018 about my care.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

No. I think not at least. A close friend got married though.

Wait, no! One of the ALTs got married and had a son: she lives in Tokyo now.

4, Did anyone close to you die?

Yes, a family friend at my church back home. It was quite sad, but I feel that she’s at peace right now. I, thankfully, think few others passed.

5. What countries did you visit?

Can I count Japan because… Japan. I am planning on going to South Korea in 2018 though!

6. What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017?

Time and patience with myself. We’re working on both starting tomorrow. I would also like the ability to budget my time for me better.

7. What dates from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

July 25, 2017. It was the day that after an active four years of being in love with my best friend, she inadvertently gave me the courage to confess to her, only to find the feelings are mutual. It’s 9:39 p.m. on the last day of the year and I still can’t believe this happened.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Recontracting with my school, earning my TEFL, and going to therapy again. Also, really mastering riding my bike with two baskets: that’s a huge achievement in my book.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Not getting help before I needed it and letting others influence me too much.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

In August, I got food poisoning, in September, I caught a cold, and in October, I got strep throat. It was a....rough time for my body these last four months.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Honestly, my slow cooker, bamboo tableware, and my chromebook, all last quarter purchases!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

My homestay students. They showed up for a week straight to afternoon lessons with me and ended up having the experience of a lifetime in Australia. I’m just so, so proud of them.

Shoutout to my supervisor too: she’s really come through for me even though we just met.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Quite a few ALTs who are actin’ like we’re not twenty-something year old adults in charge of children and the man who spit on me.

14. Where did most of your money go?

New computer/chromebook, Yuri!! On ICE, books, and clothing.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

The re-release of the W.I.T.C.H. comics. I’m still hyped, enough that I keep listening to the playlist on repeat everyday.

16. What song will always remind you of 2017?

Echo feat. Gumi by Crusher-P

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c ) richer or poorer?

Happier, thinner, and so-so on the cash.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Loving myself.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Being hard on myself and trying to change. I was incredibly critical of myself this year, and that… was not always good.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

With my mother in Japan and with my friend James in Tokyo. There was lots of FMA with the latter.

21. Did you fall in love in 2017?

All over again. I expect that in 2018, I’ll say the same about my precious partner. Once again, I’ll confess that I’m still in shock that someone is as into me as I am them, and also thinks I’m sexy. I feel immensely attractive.

22. What was your favorite TV program?

Shinya Shokudo, Super Sonico, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, and Blazing Transfer Students.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

No, and that’s a blessing I think.

24. What was the best book you read?

I really loved Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet by Becky Chambers and also Fran Wilde’s Updraft.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

REOL and Crusher-P. Shame that REOL is breaking up, but honestly, I love all three members so much.

26. What did you want and get?

I wanted to finally own lolita clothing, and I got my first outfit from indie label Lady Sloth. It’s a chocolate themed coordination, and let’s be honest: I look splendid.

27. What did you want and not get?

I really wanted to take the JLPT and I just didn’t have the chance. NExt year though.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

It came late but I really did like the new FMA live action. Also, I really loved Koe no Katachi a lot.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 25 this year and spent it with a 102 degree fever in bed. Next year, y’all.

I did, however, receive lots of drawing goods which means people listened to what I wanted. Rather pleased with that.

30. What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Discovering the joys of taking myself on a date. I am really good company

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017?

Soft Librarian Chic

32. What kept you sane?

Hope and knowing that everything comes to an end in time.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

None really.

34. Who did you miss?

In no particular order: my mother, my friend-turned-partner, my dog, my father, and my sisters, who are really two of my best friends from childhood.

35. Who was the best new person you met?

Probably my supervisor and principal.

36. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017.

I’ll give you a few, actually:

You can tell how much a person values by how they start a text conversation.

Nothing can prepare you for crying on a bus ride home.

Listen to a river: it’ll help you understand what to do next.

Sometimes, people who you give to will never care to give back. Stop giving to them once you realize that’s all our ever going to get. 

It’s not selfish to expect kindness in return for giving kindness.

37. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

So since I got big back into Italian comic series -and American animation series-  W.I.T.C.H., I want to share lyrics for what I found at the end of this year. It’s Taranee Cook’s imagine song, and really helped me when I was hurting a lot. Taranee is a character that really inspired me growing up and continues to now: though timid, bookish, and often the first to be considered weak, Taranee’s ability to overcome inspires me.

Let’s end the year with her image song “Fire”.

I often wonder what’s my purpose. I always would search deep inside. I found myself lost in the dark until the day that I let my light shine.

Each day I know I’m getting strong. The path is much clearer to me. Now I can with the world the gift that I have, for everyone, around me to see.

There’s a fire that burns deep inside. There’s a light that I use as my guide. I can put all my troubles behind me when I warm every heart with the fire that lies inside me.

#22

A – Accidents

01. Have you ever been in a car accident? Nope, but unfortunately I’m inclined to think “not yet” 02. Do you have a lot of scars? I have some but no not a lot 03. Have you ever been in a fist fight with someone? Nope 04. Have you ever seriously hurt anyone by mistake? Nope but I’ve been seriously hurt by mistake 05. Have you ever had stitches? Where? Wisdom teeth extraction, but that doesn’t really count

B – Beauty

06. Do you consider yourself beautiful? Nope 07. Are you self conscious of how you look? Yes 08. Do you put on a lot of makeup? I don’t put on a lot for the most part, but I absolutely can 09. Would you ever consider getting plastic surgery? I’ve thought about it but I’d never pursue it 10. What do you think makes a person beautiful? Looks do help, but so does a kind heart

C – Consequences

11. What was the longest amount of time you’ve been grounded for? I’ve never been grounded, but I’ve had things taken away from me 12. What would you do if you got pregnant, keep it or have an abortion? Abortion, sorry but that’s the honest truth 13. Do you ever think about how your actions affect other people? I do when it’s too late 14. What do you think is the worst punishment someone could give you? Being forced to live with a roommate (or more) that I don’t get along with and who causes trouble 15. What is one thing you wish you didn’t do, just because it wasn’t worth it in the end? I was asked to replace someone in a dance but I was told it was fine if I couldn’t make rehearsal. I should’ve not gone

D – Dealing

16. When you are mad at someone, how do you show them? I get super passive aggressive 17. Name a time when you had to be strong. Whenever my mom gets upset and anxious about things... 18. Have you ever dealt with a divorce or parents fighting? Any kind of abuse at home? Parents fighting, and I feel like I may have been emotionally abused to some degree 19. When people at school don’t accept you, or have problems with you, how do you react? I isolate myself 20. Have you ever lost someone to death? Explain how you got through it. Other than family members, no

E – Experience

21. Have you ever had a job? Any volunteer jobs? Yes 22. Do you think that you are sexually experienced, or not at all? Not at all lol 23. Have you gone through a lot emotionally, or has life been easy thus far? I’ve gone through A LOT 24. Do you think you are ready to be on your own (have your own home, job, etc.)? Nope 25. How old do you act? Sometimes I act like I’m 25, other times I act like I’m 15

F – Family

26. Is there anyone in your family you don’t talk to? Why? Most of my dad’s side because most of them don’t like me or my mom (they don’t make that explicitly known, but I think so) 27. If you had to choose, family or friends? Friends 28. Can you tell your parents or one of your parents anything? My mom usually 29. Do you have any siblings? If so, do you ever get jealous of them? No 30. How often do you spend ‘quality time’ with family members? A lot

G – Growing

31. How tall are you? How tall do you wish you were? I’m 5′1″, I wish I was around 5′4″ 32. Do you think that you have grown more in the past year than any year before that? I’ve grown a LOT since starting college 33. As a person, do you think you are mature for your age or still act childish? Most of the time I’m mature for my age 34. Are you scared to think that one day you will turn 30, then 40, then 50? Kinda but I’m also excited because so far my 20′s have been horrible 35. Do you believe you still have a lot to learn? I have SO much to learn

H – Hope

36. Love – real or not? Can be real 37. Are you a pessimist of an optimist? I wish I could say otherwise, but pessimist 38. Do you believe in fate, that everything happens for a reason, or do you think that our actions lead the way? Not everything, but a lot of things happen for a reason 39. Do you think that after we die our spirit is still alive? God I hope not 40. What gives you hope when you just feel like dying? I try to think about things I’m looking forward to in the future

I – Issues

41. Do you suffer from depression or constant sadness/loneliness? Not diagnosed but I think I might have depression 42. Do you have any type of disease or disability? No 43. Are you currently in a hard relationship or have bad luck with the opposite sex? I just have bad luck 44. Do you think that you are alone in this world? Yep 45. How often do you think about death, suicide or running away? A lot... but I’d never do any of those

J – Jokes

46. Say a word or phrase that would not be funny to anyone but you & one of your friends (an inside joke) I honestly can’t think of anything rn 47. Are you usually the one who makes people laugh, or the other way around? Both 48. Do you cry when you laugh hard? I haven’t in a long time but I think I could 49. Write down a hilarious moment you had with someone that makes you laugh to this day! I really can’t think of a specific one rn but there are definitely some 50. Do you ever get in trouble for laughing or talking a lot during class? No

K – Knowledge

51. The purpose of school: to learn, to cause trouble or to hang out with friends? To learn 52. Do people refer to you as smart, dumb, or average? Average for the most part, smart in some aspects but dumb af in others 53. What was the highest grade you have received (full course mark) ever? A 54. What was your last average? This year would you like to maintain it or aim higher? All B’s, aim higher (going to be difficult this particular semester but I can hope) 55. What do you find the most interesting subject to be (to study or to talk about)? Science!

L – Love

56. Are you currently in love? If not, have you been before? Nope and nope 57. Do people around you show you a lot of love (tell you they love you, hug you, kiss you, etc.)? Yes 58. Is love worth it? Sure 59. Do you hate it when girls in their young teenage years say they ‘love’ someone that they’ve been dating for a few months? I used to think it was cute, now I think it’s annoying 60. Does it take a lot for you to say you love someone, or is it just a word? It takes a lot for me to say it

M – Money

61. Do you believe that money makes the world go round? It helps but no 62. Is your family on the poor side, average, or above average when it comes to money? Above average 63. Are you saving up for college/university, or planning to? I’m in college now 64. Would you rather win millions of dollars & be set for life, or find the perfect person to marry & start a family with? Ugh that’s difficult, I used to always say marriage, but now I’m kinda thinking money now 65. On a scale of 1-10, how important is money to you? 6, it definitely helps but isn’t everything

N – Naughty

66. Are you a virgin? Yes 67. What do you think about doing sexual things with someone you’re not going out with? Very small chance, but for the most part no 68. Do you know anybody you consider a ’slut’? What makes you say that? Yes, this person has had PID from having sex so much and is infertile 69. If you could, would you erase some things you did in the past or make it so you did more? Erase 70. Do you consider yourself more nice or more naughty? You can’t say both! Nice

O – Openness

71. How long does it take for you to open up to someone? I can open up about some things pretty quickly, others I never mention ever 72. What does it take for you to fully trust someone? Some things I don’t trust anyone 73. Are you generally untrusting towards people because of past experiences, or any other reason? Past experiences and also reading about other people’s experiences 74. When are you comfortable with someone sexually? I have never been comfortable with anyone sexually 75. When it comes to parents and close friends, what’s the limit of what you can tell them? Regarding both, I am still in the closet. Regarding my dad, a few other things

P – Positive

76. Have you ever had an experience with someone that didn’t necessarily end positively? If so, would you rather erase the memory of that person because of the sad times or keep the memory of that person because of the good times? Yes, and I’d rather keep the memory because now I know not to waste my time with anyone who’s similar

77. Do you agree with the saying: better to have loved and lost than not have loved at all? Yes 78. Are you more optimistic or pessimistic? What do you try to be? Pessimistic, I need to be more optimistc 79. Do you agree that something good can come out of everything? Yes 80. Have you ever had a time where something really bad happened, but something really good happened because of it? If so, please explain what it was: Yes but I can’t think of a specific example

Q – Questions

81. When faced with a problem, do you ask for help or try to figure it out yourself? Try to figure it out myself, I hate asking for help 82. Do you often question the world and how we came about? What are some things you would like to know about creation? Yes, I want to know why tf I was born the way I am 83. Do you think the government is truthful? If you could ask the president one question, what would it be? No and I do not wish to talk to scumbag Trump at all 84. When someone does something wrong to you, do you confront them and ask them why they did it or just let it go? I try to let it go because I don’t like confrontation 85. What is one unsolved mystery about the world that you want answers to? Idk

R – Respect

86. How do you show respect? I have good manners and I’m courteous 87. What can someone do for you to lose all respect for them? Be a scumbag to everyone, even if they’re nice to just me 88. Do you respect your teachers, parents, and other authority figures? Yes, unless I really don’t like them 89. When you are disrespectful to your parents, what is the punishment? Me feeling like garbage about it, and usually my mom gets really stern with me 90. If someone is mean to you, are you mean back or do you kill them with kindness? I’m mean back

S – School

91. If you are still in school, what grade will you be going into? I’m in college, year 3 undergrad 92. When will you graduate high school/college? Graduate college in 2020 93. After high school, what did you do/are you planning to do? I’m in college 94. Do you like or hate school? What do you like/hate about it? It’s meh, I’ve met some good people and teachers/professors but I’ve had pretty shitty days too 95. Have you ever been suspended, expelled, or dropped out of school? Nope

T – Temptation

96. Have you ever done something wrong, knowing it was wrong, because something inside of you said it was okay? Yep 97. Has anyone ever pressured you to smoke or drink? Did you do it? I’ve never been explicitly pressured to drink, but I’ve been subtly pressured. Yes I did. I have never been pressured to smoke and I will never do it even if someone does 98. Did you ever cheat on someone? Why did you do it? No 99. Did you ever want to do something sexual with someone you didn’t really know or love? What did you end up doing? Nope 100. Do you give in to temptation easily, or are you more independent and strong willed? Usually more independent and strong willed

U – Unique

102. Do you do a lot of things because your friends are doing it? Sometimes 103. Do you follow trends, wear whatever you want, or wear really unique pieces? I wear whatever I want unless there’s a dress code 104. Do you give in easily to peer pressure? Do you do things such as smoke, drink, or have casual sex? I usually don’t if it’s dangerous, such as those three. Other things, there’s a chance 105. What makes you different from people your age? I don’t take shit from anyone

V – Value

106. What’s the most expensive thing in your room? My laptop 107. What’s more valuable: your life or the lives of your loved ones? Would you sacrifice your life for other people? This is pretty mean, but probably my own. And no I would not 108. What is something you value not because it cost a lot, but because it means a lot to you? My laptop and phone 109. If there was a fire in your house/apartment, what is the first thing you would grab? My laptop and phone 110. Do you think past memories and experiences are more valuable than what could possibly happen in the future? Yes

W – Wishes

111. If you had three wishes, what would they be? To be happier, more able to support myself alone, and meet more people who are genuine 112. Would you rather wish yourself to be happy, or your loved ones? Myself 113. Do you believe that wishes come true if you really believe in them? Meh 114. Have you ever had a wish come true? If so, what was that wish? Idk 115. Do you find wishing for things a waste of time because everything that’s meant to happen, will happen? Sometimes

Y – You

121. Are you more independent or social? I’m very independent 122. What is something that makes you very mad when you see it? Asymmetry 123. Do you think that you have potential to do great things? Meh 124. Do you think people are born a certain way, or develop their personalities based on what they go through in life? Mostly the latter 125. Do you think people are generally good? Most of the time yes, but there are some horrible people

Z – Zest

126. Are you currently happy with your life? Why or why not? It’s not bad but it could be better 127. Do you go on FacebookCraze.com to get facebook survey’s and quizzes like this one? Nope, just tumblr 128. When change occurs, do you get scared or are you excited for it? Both 129. Do you like to try new things, meet new people? Kind of but also not 130. What is the most motivational thing in the world? Hunger

10th February >> (@ZenitEnglish) #PopeFrancis #Pope Francis Holy Father Stresses Importance of Moral Theology in Daily Life

Holy Father Stresses Importance of Moral Theology in Daily Life

Marks 70th Anniversary of Alphonsian Academy – Higher Institute of Theology

Pope Francis on February 9, 2019, stressed the importance of theology in addressing the concrete realities of daily life.

His remarks came in the Clementine Hall of the Vatican Apostolic Palace, where he received in audience the teachers and students of the Alphonsian Academy – Higher Institute of Theology on the 70th anniversary of its founding.

The following is the Pope Francis’ address to those present:

Address of the Holy Father

Fr. Moderator General,

Dear brothers and sisters,

I meet you on the occasion of the seventieth anniversary of the founding of the Alphonsian Academy. I thank the moderator general for his words, and I address my warm greeting to you all. This anniversary of your university institute is a moment of gratitude to the Lord for the service of theological research and teaching that it has been able to perform. The specific theological sector proper to the Alphonsian Academy is that of moral knowledge, which requires it to perform the difficult but indispensable task of enabling the encounter and acceptance of Christ in the concrete reality of everyday life, as He who, freeing us from sin, sadness, inner emptiness, and isolation, allows joy to be born and reborn in us (cf. Apostolic Exhortation Evangelii Gaudium, 1).

In these seventy years, the Alphonsian Academy has been committed, as your Statutes recall, to the study of moral theology sub Lumine Mysterii Christi, seeking to respond to the evolution of society and cultures, constantly respecting the Magisterium (cf. no. 1). And it has done so by drawing inspiration from its heavenly patron, Saint Alphonsus Maria de’ Liguori.

The celebration of the anniversary of an institution such as yours cannot be limited to remembering what has been done, but must above all drive us to look ahead, to rediscover enthusiasm in the mission, to plan courageous steps to respond better at the expectations of the people of God. And it is providential that your seventieth anniversary arrives in the period in which all the academic structures of the Church are called to a more decisive commitment to replanning and renewal. It is what I have requested to be done with the Apostolic Constitution Veritatis Gaudium on Ecclesiastical Universities and Faculties. Valuing the “rich legacy of analysis and direction” which sprang from Vatican Council II and implemented with the “persevering commitment to a social and cultural meditation on the Gospel undertaken by the People of God in different continental areas and in dialogue with diverse cultures”, it is necessary to be open to “that wise and courageous renewal demanded by the missionary transformation of a Church that ‘goes forth’” (cf. no. 3).

This is not a revision of the statutes and of study plans, but a renewal of all academic life favored also by the possibilities that development in informatics offers today to research and teaching. To this end, it is indispensable to assume as an “urgent and enduring criterion … that of contemplation and the presentation of a spiritual, intellectual and existential introduction to the heart of the kerygma, namely the ever fresh and attractive good news of the Gospel of Jesus”. It will thus be possible to initiate a “wide-ranging dialogue, not as a mere tactical approach, but as an intrinsic requirement for experiencing in community the joy of the Truth and appreciating more fully its meaning and practical implications”. And concern for “inter- and cross-disciplinary approaches carried out with wisdom and creativity in the light of Revelation” will be accompanied by acknowledgement of the “urgent need for ‘networking’” not only between ecclesial institutions worldwide, but also “with academic institutions in the different countries and with those inspired by different cultural and religious traditions”, taking into account the “epochal issues affecting humanity today and to offer appropriate and realistic paths for their resolution” (cf. no. 4).

These are demands to which I am sure the Alphonsian Academy is already sensitive and will be able to respond promptly and with trustful courage, just as in the second half of the last century it succeeded in implementing the renewal of moral theology required by Vatican Council II.

Fidelity to the Alphonsian roots of your Institute now demands of you an even more convinced and generous commitment to a moral theology inspired by the missionary tension of an “outbound” Church. Like Saint Alphonsus, we must always avoid letting ourselves be imprisoned in positions of schools or in judgments formulated “far removed from the concrete situations and practical possibilities” of people and families. Equally, it is necessary to be on guard against an “excessive idealization” of Christian life that is not capable of reawakening “trust in God’s grace” (cf. Apostolic Exhortation Amoris Laetitia, 36). Instead, listening respectfully to real situations and seeking together to discern the signs of the presence of the Spirit, which generates liberation and new possibilities, we will be able to help all to journey with joy on the ways of good.

The realities to be heard are first and foremost the sufferings and the hopes of those whom the thousand forms of power of sin continue to condemn to insecurity, to poverty, to marginalization. Saint Alphonsus understand very soon that it was not a world to defend oneself against, even less to condemn, but rather to heal and liberate, in imitation of the action of Christ: incarnating and sharing needs, to reawaken the deepest expectations of the heart, to make sure that everyone, however fragile and sinful, is in the heart of the Heavenly Father and is loved by Christ unto the cross. Who is touched by this love, feels the urgency to respond with love?

All words of moral theology must let themselves be formed by this merciful logic, that enables them to be encountered effectively as words of a life in fullness. They are indeed an echo of those of the Master Who says to the disciples that He has come not “to judge the world, but to save the world” (Jn 12: 47), and that the will of His Father is that “they may have life, and have it to the full” (Jn 10: 10), and participate fully in His joy (cf. Jn 17: 13). “Although it is quite true that concern must be shown for the integrity of the Church’s moral teaching, special care should always be shown to emphasize and encourage the highest and most central values of the Gospel, particularly the primacy of charity as a response to the completely gratuitous offer of God’s love” (cf. Apostolic Exhortation Amoris Laetitia, 311).

With the apostle Paul, moral theology is called to make all people experience that “free from the law of sin and death”, for which we cannot “live in fear again”, having received the Spirit Who “brought about your adoption to sonship. And by Him, we cry, ‘Abba, Father’” (cf. Rm, 8: 2, 15). And the same Spirit ensures that this freedom may never be indifference with regard to those in need, but the “heart of the neighbor” who allows himself to be called upon and is ready to provide loving care.

In these recent years, moral theology has been committed to welcoming the strong demand of Vatican Council II to overcome an “individualistic morality” and to promote the awareness that “the more unified the world becomes, the more plainly do the offices of men extend beyond particular groups and spread by degrees to the whole world” (Pastoral Constitution Gaudium et Spes, 30). The steps taken must impel us to face with greater promptness the new and serious challenges deriving from the rapidity with which our society is evolving. I name only those due to the growing dominance of the logic of “the laws of competition and the survival of the fittest”, which considers “human beings [as] … consumer goods to be used and then discarded”, giving rise to “throwaway culture” (cf. Apostolic Exhortation Evangelii Gaudium, 53).

The same must be said for the cry of the earth, violated and wounded in a thousand ways by selfish exploitation. The ecological dimension is a necessary component of the responsibility of every person and every nation. I reflect on the fact that when I administer Reconciliation – even before when I did so – only rarely does someone admit to having carried out an act of violence to nature, to the earth, to creation. We do not yet have awareness of this sin. It is your task to do this. Moral theology must take on board the urgency of participating in a convincing manner to the common effort towards the care of our common home through practical ways of integral development.

Moral research is also called to carry out dialogue and shared commitment also in relation to the new possibilities that the development of the biomedical sciences makes available to humanity. There should never lack a frank testimony of the unconditional value of every life, reiterating that it is precisely the weakest and most defenseless life that we are called to take responsibility for in a united and trustful manner.

I am sure that the Alphonsian Academy will continue to be committed to a moral theology that does not hesitate to “get its hands dirty” with the concrete reality of problems, especially with the fragility and the suffering of those who most see their future under threat, bearing witness with frankness to Christ, “the way and the truth and the life” (Jn, 14: 6).

Dear brothers and sisters, while I thank you for this visit, I encourage you to continue your ecclesial service, in constant adherence to the teaching of the Church, and I heartily impart to you all my Apostolic Blessing. Please, remember to pray for me! Thank you.

© Libreria Editrice Vatican

9th FEBRUARY 2019 18:11FRANCIS

ninety-two truths.

Rules: Write 92 truths about yourself then tag 25 people

tagged by @ralph-mountainlodge @panic-kpop thanks for tagging me lovelies (”: and i’m sorry it took me like ten years to actually get to it!!!

side note: click “read more” if you’re interested in getting to know me! i’m always happy to get tagged in things so don’t be shy if you wanna tag me in anything!~

LAST…

[1] drink: water

[2] phone call: “BRAT” aka @peachy-deity

[3] text message: uhhh, i think it was to this guy in my English class lol.

[4] song you listened to: war of hormone by bts (LOL)

[5] time you cried: i don’t remember? LOL wow, it’s really been a while.

HAVE YOU EVER…

[6] dated someone twice: yes

[7] been cheated on: yes

[8] kissed someone and regretted it: yes

[9] lost someone special: yep

[10] been depressed: oh yes, indeed.

[11] gotten drunk and thrown up: no, i’ve never gotten drunk. and i’ve only ever thrown up once in my life. at least if we’re speaking from memory. 

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS:

[12] baby blue

[13] dusty pink

[14] gold

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

[15] made new friends: a few internet friends for sure! not really anyone in real life, but i only say this ‘cuz i really only have like about a handful of actual friends lol. (i promise i’m not purposefully this way! i just connect with people longer than others and the ones i connect with right now are ones that i have that close, intimate relationship with. basically in short, i’m selective with my friends ‘cuz i really value that connection lol.)

[16] fallen out of love: yep!

[17] laughed until you cried: once! when i was watching that video that epitomizes jin lol.

[18] found out someone was talking about you: yeah LOL. both in good and bad ways, but when i confronted someone for talking shit they wouldn’t own up to it.

[19] met someone who changed you: yeah, i guess.

[20] found out who your true friends are: definitely!

[21] kissed someone on your facebook list: hmm, more than likely. from what i can recollect, that’d make about three people or so?

GENERAL…

[22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: a good majority of them. i hardly use facebook though. i only keep it to check on people and for my mom lol.

[23] do you have any pets: no, i used to have a ton as a kid though!

[24] do you want to change your name: nah, i’m okay with it.

[25] what did you do for your last birthday: i went out to eat, then i walked in 100+ degree weather with my friend to get boba and shop at kohl’s afterwards~

[26] what time did you wake up: at around 9 AM?

[27] what were you doing at midnight last night: doing homework

[28] name something you cannot wait for: my birthday in like june ‘cuz i get to re-dye my hair! and ‘cuz that is when school ends.

[29] when was the last time you saw your mother: last sunday

[30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i wish i knew what i wanted to do, and if there was a way to make this process easier, then i’d change that so my path would align with it.

[31] what are you listening to right now: one of monsta x’s vlive’s. i’m in the top 70 and i wanted to get higher up. i’ve been crap at streaming lately though.

[32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: uhhh, no.

[33] something that is getting on your nerves: when people don’t treat their parents right when they have them and their parents treat them right. like they’re only helping you, why are you so rude?? and when people don’t know proper bike riding etiquette like signal please!

[34] most visited website: this or canvas, but that latter’s for school. oh and youtube!

[35] elementary: i met my best friend there. we hated each other for half a year then became friends, then we just became biffles. i miss those simpler times.

[36] high school: the first two years were rocky, but i do value the last two tbh. i really became the person that i am today

[37] college: still suffering through it. still lost. but managing i guess.

[38] hair color: i would say a dark brown

[39] long or short hair: short, it’s more manageable and i just think it suits me lol.

[40] do you have a crush on someone: on jungkook, jimin, and wonho, yes.

[41] what do you like about yourself: i’m resilient

[42] piercings: my ears and cartilage

[43]blood type: O+

[44] nickname: em, mel, mela, ate. i prefer em on here though

[45] relationship status: single!

[46] zodiac sign: cancer

[47] pronouns: she/her

[48] fav tv show: the get down (LOL i’m aware it’s on Netflix but it’s really my favorite)

[49] tattoos: probably in a few years

[50] right or left hand: right

FIRST…

[51] surgery: none

[52] piercing: ears

[53] best friend: sammy, brat aka @peachy-deity

[54] sport: i did hip hop for a bit if that counts lol.

[55] vacation: um, reno

[56] pair of trainers: most likely skechers or somethin’

RIGHT NOW…

[57] eating: nothing

[58] drinking: nothin’

[59] i’m about to: finish this, read up on some homework, then lay down. or lay down after this then read LOL.

[60] listening to: minhyuk’s vlive

[61] waiting for: 5:30 when i gotta go to dinner with my RA, for the school year to end, for myself to figure out what i wanna do for the rest of my life

[62] want: to get rich, give money to my mom, then travel

[63] get married: nah, i’m good.

[64] career: LOL, undecided right now

WHICH IS BETTER…

[65] hugs or kisses: hugs are my faves, but i do like kisses with someone special. all around hugs are nice though

[66] lips or eyes: eyes

[67] shorter or taller: LOL well taller is fine. i’m 4′11″ as it is so most people end up being taller

[68] older or younger: younger kids are so cute! and sometimes older people intimidate me,,,, idk, younger since they’re easier to get along with

[70] nice arms or nice stomach: hmmm, arms.

[71] sensitive or loud: can i get the context? i guess both

[72] hook up or relationship: hook ups are nice without the mess of a relationship because man relationships are investments.

[73] troublemaker or hesitant: gimme the middle

HAVE YOU EVER…

[74] kissed a stranger? no

[75] drank hard liquor? no

[76] lost glasses/contact lenses? yes

[77] turned someone down: yes

[78] sex on first date? no

[79] broken someone’s heart? yes, lol he wrote a song about me and everything

[80] had your own heart broken? yep

[81] been arrested? no

[82] cried when someone died? no. well, maybe but that was my great grandma but even then i don’t think i cried so probably not

[83] fallen for a friend? yep

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

[84] yourself? sometimes

[85] miracles? i guess

[86] love at first sight? l o l, i don’t think that’s love m’friend

[87] Santa Claus? totally, ahahah

[88] kiss on the first date? depends on if i’m feelin’ ya, m’friend

[89] angels? i cannot give a definite answer to this

OTHER…

[90] current best friend’s name: samanta

[91] eye color: dark brown, sometimes it looks black

[92] favorite movie: currently train to busan or your name

i shall tag:

@wonhopes @imdifferentshadesofpurple @hongbombs @silverkyun and uhhh @taeverie @-happytbh-

(definitely not mandatory!)

All the Munday questions, please.

What is it that compelled you to play your Muse?

The abuses, pressures, and many many issues with the idol industry. I wanted to play a character who was a part of that, who suffered because of it, and learns to recover and do things for HIMSELF. 

Is there a different Muse you’d rather play?

No, not really. I used to play a Kamijo, and I will probably forever miss him in some way, but I always feel more comfortable playing OCs, and not have to adhere to whatever is happening to the real person I’m playing, not having to care about touring schedules and stuff like that.

Who was your first Tumblr RP Muse/URL?

My very first Tumblr RP muse was a kid OC-version of Bou from An Café. The url was shootingstarbou, but I don’t remember if that was exactly how I wrote it.

Who did you play in your first RP?

My very first RP was with my cousin, who lived in a city on the other side of the country. We made up a whole universe together when we were 12-14-ish, and wrote a story together, featuring each our character in that universe. We did this via letters, so we basically wrote it in, well, letter form. From one character to the other.

Mine was an elven warrior named Andramir Armenienton. He is my oldest character, since I’ve had him since I was 14, and I will ALWAYS have a soft spot for him. My cousin actually wrote a book about him, but I don’t like or agree with the ending she gave him in it. In the original canon, he was this warrior prodigy who rode a dragon and taught other warriors-to-be at the elven island’s warrior academy. He was the youngest graduated student ever from that academy, because in a setting where elves can live for thousands of years (if they’re not reckless little shits like Andramir was...) he breezed through the program and graduated at 16 - still a baby in most elves’ eyes! (If I made him now, I’d definitely make him older, but 16 seemed mature when I was 14).

He didn’t necessarily have a great moral compass, but he was brilliant at all the academic and physical skills required. 

As he matured more, he got a better moral compass, learned the value of capture over killing, and began to gain more respect for elven life. After several years, he even fell in love, and learned the wonders of love and family. He settled down a bit, became a teacher at the academy, not just what was essentially a state-controlled mercenary. 

I’m rambling, so you can probably see that I still love and care about him very much!!!

What’s an RP Pet Peeve?

When characters are childlike in a way that’s just unrealistic. I’ve seen 2-year-olds written as if they were 7-10, and I’ve seen 6-year-olds written as if they were 3 at the most. I work with children, so I know a lot about how different children are, but also what I can expect of each age - with a certain degree of variety, ofc. So when a child is written like Artemis Fowl’s younger twin brothers, or Renesmée from Twilight...... I need to take a moment to just....breathe. 

Who do you wish your Muse could interact with?

I’m not sure what this means, really? Like, I hope he’ll be able to interact with all the muses he wants! Eventually. I mean, the big names will make him weak at the knees and fanboy, but still!

Other than that, I’d REALLY love for him to atually have a sort of.....meeting with his dad. So he can get closure, and 100% stop feeling like ANYTHING that happened was his fault.

Why did you start RPing?

Because I’ve always loved to dream myself into other worlds, and other lives, and whether it’s daydreaming, reading, or RPing, it’s a lovely way to experience lives other than the one I lead.

What’s an unsaid RP rule?

Don’t do SUPER angsty stuff without plotting it. Don’t dump life-changing stuff like a pregnancy WITH MY MUSE without duscussing it (I actually had that happen once, with another character. Where a girl I’d NEVER played with just was like “So our characters had a one-night-stand, and now she’s pregnant!” and I was just like... “Wtf, I don’t even KNOW your character, how OLD is she even?” The girl was 19-20, as it turned out. My character was 36, and I was just like NOPE. He’s not the type of person to even TOUCH someone that much younger than him. 

Just. Stuff like that? PLOT IT WITH ME, PLEASE!!!!!

What do you listen to while RPing?

Anything that suits my character. For Andramir, I listened to a lot of epic, symphonic rock, for Bou, I listened to a lot of jrock and visual kei, for Haruma, I’m listening to a lot of kpop and jpop. 

How long have you been RPing?

Including the physical letters sent with my cousin? Since I was 14, so.... 14 years now. 

Thank you so so so much for asking!!!!

The Daily Thistle

The Daily Thistle – News From Scotland

Wednesday 26th September 2018

"Madainn Mhath” …Fellow Scot, I hope the day brings joy to you…. what a beautiful early morning, heaven full of stars, empty streets and walking with my Bella.. I can see the hint of a sunrise on the western horizon soon at 4am it will be early dawn, so it's best to take advantage of the darkness now, that way I can look at the stars and look back in time……

BOOZE LABEL WARNINGS 'YEARS OUT OF DATE'…. AHA wants consumers to be able to see clear warnings and health information on alcohol products. Fewer than 10% of alcoholic drinks carry up to date health warnings, according to campaigners. A new study claims multi-national alcohol companies are choosing to ignore advice to display important health information on products. One charity claims a pint of milk is required to show more information than a bottle of wine. Pressure is growing on alcohol producers to display better warnings about the dangers of alcohol to health. The Alcohol Health Alliance, a coalition of 50 organisations, found fewer than 10% of 300 products they surveyed carried the safe drink guidelines of 14 units a week. This came into effect two-and-a-half years ago, but some products carried the old limits and most carried no warnings of the risk of disease from drinking. On Thursday the chief executive of one Scottish alcohol charity raised the issue at the AGM of the drinks giant Diageo. Alison Douglas, chief executive of Alcohol Focus Scotland said: "It is notable that the global multi-national producers do not seem to have made any effort to update their labelling to communicate the current low-risk drinking guidelines, while some smaller independent producers have done so. "The Alcohol Health Alliance surveyed more than 100 Diageo products and not one of them included the current guidelines of 14 units a week. "Referring people to industry-funded websites is not good enough. We need reliable health information directly on bottles, cans and menus, where it can usefully inform our decisions. At the moment more information is required on a pint of milk than on a bottle of wine. The public deserves better and industry clearly won't do this voluntarily; it's time for government to act." The Portman group, which represents drinks producers, said bottle labels direct consumers to a website containing up to date health information.

NEW SALTIRE GRAPHIC NOVEL AT GLASGOW COMIC CON…. The latest graphic novel about a comic book character dubbed "Scotland's first superhero" is to be launched at the largest Scottish comic con. Saltire is a creation of Glaswegian John Ferguson. The comics are published by St Andrews' Diamondsteel Comics. First printed more than two years ago, the comics follow Saltire's encounters with Saxons, Romans, Highland clan warriors and also supernatural beings. The new graphic novel will be unveiled at the weekend's Glasgow Comic Con. Set in a mythological Scotland, the Saltire stories are inspired by historical events and real places. Some of the characters have been inspired by historical events and figures, including the mysterious disappearance of the Roman auxiliary legion the 9th Hispana in Scotland in AD 120 and the Hebrides' medieval Lord of the Isles. Ferguson, who will also discuss his character as a guest at The Lakes International Arts Festival in Cumbria next month, said: "It's been over two years since our last title so I'm looking forward to seeing all the fans and finally getting the book out there. "We believe this book is as good, if not better, than its predecessor so hopefully the fans reaction is just as enthusiastic. Comic Con will be our first chance to find out." He added: "Superheroes are a big part of mainstream culture these days and our Scottish protagonist creates a lot of enthusiasm so we're excited to bring him back."

GENTLE GIANTS PROVE TO BE FAST AND AGILE….. A team of scientists have discovered that basking sharks, the world's second largest fish, can jump as fast and as high out of water as great whites. The researchers said plankton-eating basking sharks had a reputation for being "slow and languid", while their cousin was "famously powerful". In their new study, the scientists recorded a basking shark that achieved a top speed of 5.1 metres per second. Other research has suggested the sharks likely breach while feeding. Every summer basking sharks gather in large numbers around small islands between Skye and Mull, off Scotland's west coast. They later migrate south to waters around Madeira and the Canary Islands off west Africa. The new research was led by Queen's University Belfast and London's University of Roehampton and published in the Journal Biology Letters. During its study, the team recorded a basking shark accelerate from a depth of 28m (92ft) to the surface with 10 beats of its tail over a period of about nine seconds. The animal broke through the surface at almost 90 degrees and was clear the water for one second, peaking at a height of 1.2m (4ft) above the surface. To achieve this breach, the basking shark exhibited a six fold increase in tail beat frequency and attained a top speed of about 5.1 m/s.,This is more than twice as fast as the average competitor in the Olympic men's 50m freestyle swim, the team said.

WIGTOWN BOOK FESTIVAL KICKS OFF 20TH EDITION…. First Minister Nicola Sturgeon is a special guest on the first day of proceedings in Wigtown. The line-up of guests includes fiction writers, poets, broadcasters, philosophers and historians. Among the highlights this year are talks from Susan Calman, Sally Magnusson, Ann Cleeves, Clare Balding, Andy Stanton and Louis de Bernieres. Advanced ticket sales have reached record levels and already exceeded the total sold by the end of last year's event. Organisers attributed the success to the first minister's visit, media coverage of the 20th anniversary and a VisitScotland campaign to promote the region. The festival runs until 30 September.

MAN ADMITS BARE-CHESTED CHAINSAW ATTACK AT GOLF CLUB…. The incident happened at Caird Park Golf Club in Dundee. A bare-chested man smiled as he attacked a complete stranger with a chainsaw at a golf club. Joe Brown, 45, approached Arthur Innes, 61, as he prepared to play golf with two friends at Caird Park Golf Club in Dundee. The High Court in Glasgow heard Brown scraped the chainsaw down the right side of his victim's head and the top of his right shoulder. Brown admitted attempting to murder Mr Innes on 2 May. The father-of-three was only wearing a pair of jeans when he approached Mr Innes and his friends Ian Martin, 61, and Matthew Waterson, 71, with the chainsaw in his hands. At the time of the attack, which happened about 14:00, the men were getting their golf clubs out of their cars. Brown walked up to Mr Martin said: "Madness is in the eyes, madness is in the eyes." Mr Martin, who backed away, said the accused was smiling and his eyes were bulging out of his head. He was wearing no top and no shoes. Seconds later Brown pulled the chainsaw cord and it started immediately. Mr Innes was wedged between cars in the car park and could not escape. Brown raised the chainsaw and brought it down towards his victim, who put up his arm to protect himself and was struck on the upper arm. Prosecutor Owen Mullan said: "The accused against struck Mr Innes with the chainsaw, scraping it down the right side of his head and the top of his right shoulder. "As the accused did this Mr Innes turned to face him, put his head down and barged into him, forcing him backwards." The court heard the accused then ran off after dropping the chainsaw. Doctors who treated Mr Innes at Ninewells Hospital in Dundee said he was lucky the wounds were not deeper. He suffered a significant scar to his arm and another lesser scar to his head. Almost two hours later, at 15:50 the accused approached Andrew Hay, who was on his mobile phone, at the Kingsway and said: "I'm asking you for help." He then punched Mr Hay and pushed him to the ground before running off. Minutes later Brown, who was wearing no top and no shoes, walked out into the carriageway. Driver Callum MacKay managed to stop his car a foot from Brown who started shouting at him and laughing. Brown was found collapsed outside the back door of grandmother Michelle Hunter, who thought he may be having a breakdown. He told her: "I'm a bad man. "I attacked someone with a chainsaw on the golf course." When police arrived Brown said: "I didn't mean to do it" and asked: "Have I badly hurt him?" Brown then said: "I want to stay on my knees and pray for the guy I hurt. If I've hurt somebody I won't live with myself." A cannabis farm was later found in the accused's home in Graham Court, Dalclaverhouse, Dundee. Officers also recovered 36 Ecstasy tablets and 34g of cocaine. In court, Brown, who is a prisoner at Perth, pleaded guilty to the assaults, attempted murder, being concerned in the supply of cannabis and possession of the other drugs. Mr Renucci told the court psychiatric reports were prepared and the conclusion was that most of his behaviour was attributed to his drug misuse. Judge Lord Matthews called for a background report on Brown and will sentence him next month.

On that note I will say that I hope you have enjoyed the news from Scotland today,

Our look at Scotland today is of Warrior Saltire in action….

A Sincere Thank You for your company and Thank You for your likes and comments I love them and always try to reply, so please keep them coming, it's always good fun, As is my custom, I will go and get myself another mug of "Colombian" Coffee and wish you a safe Wednesday 26th September 2018 from my home on the southern coast of Spain, where the blue waters of the Alboran Sea washes the coast of Africa and Europe and the smell of the night blooming Jasmine and Honeysuckle fills the air…and a crazy old guy and his dog Bella go out for a walk at 4:00 am…on the streets of Estepona…

All good stuff....But remember it’s a dangerous world we live in

Be safe out there…

Robert McAngus #Scotland #News #Spain

On Friday, December 22, 2017, the Group Managing Director of the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation, Maikanti Baru, said the landing cost for petrol is N171.40 per litre. He further added that the government was bearing an extra cost of about N26.40 per litre for the product so that Nigerians could purchase the product at the government approved and regulated price of N145 per litre. For those who do not know the import of Baru’s statement, it means that the Buhari government has been subsidising the cost of petrol. The problem is that during the campaign, then-candidate Buhari said he did not know what subsidy is and accused the Jonathan administration of scamming Nigerians through the subsidy scheme. Again, on December 28, 2015, President Buhari said he was ending subsidy. On May 12, 2016 the minister of state for petroleum, Ibe Kachikwu said subsidy had been removed. The price of petrol was increased on that basis to N145. Finally, on December 15, 2016, Vice President Osinbajo said there was no more fuel subsidy in Nigeria. The question is that, given the revelation by Baru, Nigerians now need to know who is lying amongst President Buhari, Vice President Osinbajo, minister Kachikwu and GMD Baru? This question is even more poignant when you consider that there is no budgetary provision in both the 2016 and 2017 budgets for subsidy payments. Ditto for the 2018 budget, which is yet to be passed but is not yet to be padded! In other words, if the so-called anti-corruption administration of President Buhari has been paying subsidy, that fact alone is an act of corruption. Specifically, spending monies that are accruable to the federation without any legislative appropriation is a crime of misappropriation. And then a few days after Baru’s Freudian slip, the Vice President had a snafu when he said that it was the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation and not the Federal Government that was paying subsidy. That Vice President Osinbajo could even say it is NNPC and not Federal Government that pays subsidy is an insult to the intelligence of Nigerians. Does he think us so vapid and dense that we cannot see through this subterfuge? What is NNPC? Is it not an agency belonging to the Federal Government? Who is the minister in charge of the NNPC? Is it not the President? Who is the chairman of the NNPC board? Is it not the minister of state for petroleum, Ibe Kachikwu, a member of the federal cabinet? The Vice President ought to remember he is a pastor. The truth is that for years, the Buhari administration has been lying to the Nigerian people and that lie came to light this Yuletide season when the Buhari government simultaneously ran out of funds and lies and could not borrow enough to hide the fact that it has been paying subsidy at a rate higher than the preceding government which it criticised. Do not forget that in a rare moment of honesty on July 12, 2017, the minister of finance, Kemi Adeosun, admitted that (and I quote her) “We cannot borrow anymore, we just have to generate funds domestically to fund our budget. Mobilise revenue to fund the necessary budget increase. The truth is that this government has financially near bankrupted Nigeria to the extent that something like one quarter of our budget is going to servicing debt and despite what the propagandists in government say, they will have no alternative but to increase the price of petrol from N145 to at least N171.40 per liter (the landing cost) but more realistically to N190/200 per litre if they are to make a profit. And to show how uncoordinated and shambolic this administration is, the President’s main spokesman, Femi Adesina was on TV saying that this administration will ensure that Nigeria stops importing fuel by 2019. The Buhari administration has not built a single refinery. They have not repaired the old ones. If you believe Femi Adesina, then ask Buhari if he has made Naira equal to Dollar as he promised during the campaigns. But of course, if his boss does not even know his real age, how can we expect his spokesman to know that to stop importing fuel you have to increase refining capacity locally? President Buhari stunned the nation when he said, “I thought I was 74 but I was told I was 75.” My question to my readers is this: How can a President with ‘football age’ achieve his goals in government? If he can’t remember his age, how can he remember his campaign promises? No wonder he has been denying his promises left, right and centre. And the man can’t help himself. He just goes from one snafu to the other. The other day he said he will never please his children at the detriment of Nigerians. Really? Can he recall that he instructed the Central Bank of Nigeria not to give forex to Nigerians for the school fees of their children abroad in 2015? Speaking to Al-Jazeera on March 5, 2016 the President said, “Those who can afford foreign education for their children can go ahead but Nigeria cannot afford to allocate foreign exchange for those who decide to train their children outside the country. We can’t just afford it. That is the true situation we are in.” Many parents pulled their wards from schools abroad, but Buhari’s kids remained schooling in the U.K. How a man who claimed that he had to take a loan from Union Bank to buy the All Progressives Congress nomination form could suddenly afford to simultaneously train 3 children in the U.K. is a story for another day. And yet this major hypocrite had the gall to say that he would not please his children at the interest of Nigeria. Here is a President that engages in blame games and a failure to lead and who suffers from a messiah complex that makes him think he is better, more honest and more effective than any other Nigerian even though the facts on the ground paint a completely different picture. Facts are very stubborn things. Let us consider a few of them. The Buhari administration says it cannot fund its own budget of N8.6 trillion and therefore wants to go on another unprecedented borrowing spree to the tune of $5.5 billion. But I have some questions. If the Nigerian Custom Service generated N1 trillion as it claimed and the Nigerian Ports Authority made N400 billion, while the Federal Inland Revenue Service received N2.5 trillion in taxes and another N800 billion in Value Added Taxes all in 2017, without even adding the $28 billion (N10 trillion) Nigeria made from the oil and gas sector this year, and the other billions made from lesser revenue generating agencies like SEC, JAMB, airports and stamp duties, how come we cannot fund the 2018 budget of only N8.6 trillion? Some may ask me, what about the other tiers of government? Don’t they get a share of this money? The reality however is that the total amount generated from all the revenue generating agencies and from the oil and gas sector is over N15 trillion. Per the present allocation formula, the lion’s share of 52.68% is channelled to the Federal Government, while 26.70% goes to the 36 states and 20.60% to the 776 local government areas. In other words, the Federal Government’s share of 52.68% gives it a figure close to N8 trillion. So why do they have to borrow $5.5 billion? The revenue from oil is pure rent because production costs have already been subtracted. Now if the President does not know his own age, how can he begin to ask the right questions of his dodgy Economic Management Team which includes a finance minister whose highest educational qualification is a degree from a London Polytechnic with a bad educational record and a post HND diploma? But I have talked enough. This is a season to be jolly and I fear that what I have written above would rob Nigerians of their joy, but someone has to say the bitter truth. But before I go, let me say that in a land suffering from a dearth of servant leaders, I believe Governor Ayo Fayose showed extraordinary servant leadership by releasing the fuel in the fuel dump of Ekiti State Government House to the public. I urge President Muhammadu Buhari to follow this example. Any little that can help people celebrate this season will be appreciated.

http://icechuks2.blogspot.com/2017/12/how-fuel-scarcity-exposed-buhari.html

New Post has been published on https://www.monkeyandelf.com/why-i-quit-being-a-digital-nomad-and-moved-back-to-the-us/

Why I Quit Being A Digital Nomad (And Moved Back To The US)

I’m No Longer A Digital Nomad

Personal Stories

Last week I spent all day packing up a small U-haul trailer with my belongings, preparing to move to Los Angeles, California. It felt a bit surreal after 7 years living as a digital nomad.

A bed. A couch. A TV. A desk. Cat toys. A cat (no, he’s not going in the U-haul). Pulling it all behind a new Jeep. I haven’t owned this much stuff in years!

What the hell happened? When did I stop being a full-time vagabond, traveling the world while living out of a backpack?

Well, it’s a long story. And it’s about time I shared it with you.

2010: My First Backpacking Trip in Mexico

Becoming A Digital Nomad

So if you’ve been following my journey for a while, you’ll know that back in 2010 I decided to save some money, quit my job, sold most of my belongings, and started backpacking around the world, blogging about it as I went.

It was a super scary decision at the time, and I had no idea what the future would bring. My guess was that I’d travel for a year, run out of money, then move back to the US and get a “real” job again.

What actually happened? I managed to build a successful business from my travel blog, and continued to travel almost non-stop for the next 7 years.

Working as a digital nomad from my computer anywhere there was a wifi connection. It was a relatively new kind of lifestyle at the time, and everyone thought I was crazy for attempting it.

During those 7 years without a home, I visited over 50 countries. I lived for months at a time in places like Thailand, Mexico, Turkey, Spain, Nicaragua, and South Africa.

Everything I owned fit into a pair of backpacks — I was completely nomadic. Working for myself. An expert vagabond (hence the name).

I was living the digital nomad dream!

But then my dreams began to change. As they often do over time.

The Downsides of Nomadic Living

Digital Nomad Burnout

I started noticing a change after about 5 years into my fully nomadic lifestyle. Constantly moving from place to place came with it’s own set of problems that became increasingly annoying as the years went by.

Traveling around the world and making money online sounds incredible, I know. And it is in many ways! I’m not complaining. This lifestyle has been very good to me.

However there are also downsides to being a digital nomad.

THIS LIFESTYLE IS EXHAUSTING

Many digital nomads hang out in a country or city for a few weeks before moving on to the next. But you can’t earn money if you’re not working, so now you’re trying to cram work & vacation into a short period of time.

Just when you get into a comfortable routine, it’s time to move and start all over again. Packing up, navigating your way around a new city, a new culture, and all the challenges that go along with those things. It gets tiring!

THIS LIFESTYLE IS LONELY

Yes, you get to meet all kinds of cool people around the world when you’re constantly traveling. But because everyone is always coming or going, it’s tough to form a meaningful connection with anyone.

I missed having a regular group of friends to hang out with. I missed being so far away from family. And unless you plan to date fellow digital nomads, relationships are complicated when only one of you can travel freely.

THIS LIFESTYLE IS UNPRODUCTIVE

Well, I should say less productive than it could be. Sure I managed to build a business while traveling, but it wasn’t easy, and I think I could have grown faster if I worked from a home-base instead of hostels & coffee shops.

Trying to juggle a normal work routine when you’re also trying to figure out where to sleep next week just isn’t ideal. Often, I never wrote much about the places I was living because I was too busy catching up with work after months of traveling.

Nothing Is Perfect

Basically, there is no perfect way to live. By becoming a digital nomad, you simply trade one set of problems for a completely different kind.

“Instead of an addiction to status and possessions, we are addicted to experience and novelty. And the end result is the same. Our relationships, our connections to what’s real, sometimes suffer.” ~ Mark Manson

Maybe, like me, you won’t be bothered by these things for a few years — it was still far more exciting than my previous life in the rat race! But eventually the problems amplify over time… and you’ll have a choice to make.

View of Los Angeles, California

Moving Back To America

As the negatives piled up, I began renting apartments for 3 months at a time. Eventually I signed a year-long lease in Playa del Carmen, Mexico. I was slowing down, taking trips that lasted 1-3 weeks, and enjoying them more.

It was nice having a base, a place to call “home” for a while.

However as much as I loved living in Mexico, I soon felt an urge to return to the United States. To spend more time with family & friends. To pursue more lucrative business opportunities there.

And, to participate more fully in my own country’s democratic process, no longer content watching from the sidelines as the United States seemed to spiral into a depressing (dangerous?) abyss of ignorance & hate.

But where to go? Moving from Mexico with my girlfriend Anna, we decided to try Boulder, Colorado for the summer. We’ve been living there with our new cat Poofy (yes, he’s on Instagram!) for the past 5 months.

Boulder was pretty, but not exactly what we were looking for. It was kinda small, very homogeneous, and full of families & students. With our unconventional lifestyles, we felt a bit out of place there.

So now we’re off to California to give Los Angeles a try.

Marriage: Our Next Adventure!

Plus We Got Married!

Surprise! It’s been a busy year. I first met Anna in 2015 at a travel blogging conference called TBEX in Florida, where travel personalities and companies come together to network.

She’s in the same line of work as I am, running a popular travel/fashion blog and Instagram account.

We hit it off right away, with a common love of travel, cats, and working online. The city girl and the adventure guy, both taking risks & working hard to pursue our dreams.

Anna is a remarkable woman. Originally from Poland, she’s been traveling the world for longer than I have. She holds degrees in International Law, Journalism, and Fashion Marketing from multiple universities (including Harvard). She’s fluent in 5 languages, and has lived in places like Mexico City, Cape Town, London, Miami, and LA.

Soon after we met in Florida, Anna came down to Mexico, where we began dating. Eventually we moved in together, using Mexico as a base to travel from. It was one of the happiest periods of my life, and I fell in love.

After a year and a half of dating, living, working, and traveling together, I proposed early one morning at a remote mountain cabin in Colorado. We eloped in Las Vegas a few weeks later at the famous Graceland Chapel!

It was spontaneous, non-traditional, and fun, just like our lives up to this point.

Hiking in Afghanistan

Are You Giving Up Vagabonding?

Yes and no. Yes, I’m giving up on the pipe-dream of constantly moving from place to place, living out of a bag for the rest of my life. What initially sounded romantic, adventurous, and free has become a burden over time.

My goal for this wild experiment has always been to experience as much of our large & diverse world as possible NOW, while I’m relatively young. Not stuck behind a desk working to make someone else rich.

Sharing my travel experiences to help and inspire others, while earning a living on my own terms.

The freedom to do as I please. No approval needed. No bosses to report to. Following my passion and making a living through adventure travel & photography.

Well, I’ve achieved these goals. I am completely location independent. I work for myself, setting my own hours, traveling when and where I want to. I’ve also been fortunate to make a great living doing what I love.

Am I just getting older and feeling a need to slow down? I’m 36 now. Have I simply become financially independent enough that I’m no longer forced to live in cheap backpacker destinations in order to get by?

I think these may have been factors in my decision too.

Chilling In Morocco

Choosing Location Independence

I wouldn’t trade the last 7 years of my life working as a traveling digital nomad for anything else. It’s been a wild ride, and the experience has taught me so much about myself and the world in general.

However I now realize that I prefer location independence over fully nomadic living. Because there’s a difference.

Location independence simply means you are free to choose where you live, not stuck living somewhere you hate because of a particular job. Being a digital nomad means you’re always traveling, with no real home.

We spent the summer in Colorado. We’re planning to spend 2018 in Los Angeles. Maybe after that, we’ll decide to move somewhere else. Italy? Spain? Iceland? Kansas?

With location independence, all our options are open!

The important part, is the freedom to choose my location, and the ability to update that choice at any time.

For those of you who are interested in becoming digital nomads, I don’t want to completely discourage you. The lifestyle does have plenty of benefits, and I’m not saying you shouldn’t give it a shot.

However after 7 years living as a homeless digital nomad, I personally no longer think it’s sustainable (or healthy) on a long-term basis.

I’m not the only one who thinks this way either — it seems to be a common choice for many after a few years on the road:

The Beginning Of The End – Nomadic Matt

9 Years Of Legal Nomads – Legal Nomads

Leaving Is Easy, Fighting Is Harder – Adventurous Kate

The Dark Side Of The Digital Nomad – Mark Manson

My Nomadic Lifestyle Comes To An End – Ottsworld

After 70 Countries, Why I Moved To Portugal – Neverending Footsteps

Life Is A Highway, And I Wanna Ride It

What’s Next?

Honestly, not much is changing. I’m still planning to travel a ton, about 6 months every year. The only difference is now I have a wife, a home, and a cat to come back to once my trips are over!

Sometimes Anna & I will travel together, sometimes I’ll be on my own. I’ll continue sharing my wild travel adventures with you from around the world through blog posts, YouTube videos, and travel photography.

Having a home-base simply means I’ll be more productive, creating useful travel guides, sharing fun travel stories, and teaching tips & tricks I’ve learned after 7 years working as a professional travel blogger & photographer.

To kick off the change, next spring I’m co-leading my first adventure travel & photography tour in a remote part of Russia (click here for details)!

After moving to Los Angeles this week, Anna & I are researching the possibility of TV and media appearances while continuing to build our businesses here in the United States.

Having LAX airport as our travel hub will keep flight costs low, allowing us both to travel often. We have friends here, and more pass through all the time.

There is a wide variety of epic coastline, mountains, deserts, canyons, and forests within a day’s driving distance from the city if I want to get outside into nature for a while.

I know some readers may be disappointed in this change. Those of you who romanticize living on the road out of a backpack. It’s one of the reasons I’ve been putting off publishing this blog post for so long… I was scared.

I built my brand as a vagabond, what happens once I have a home again?

Unfortunately there’s not much I can do about what other people think. I’ve lived as a vagabond for years, and don’t regret my choice, but my passion for constantly moving began to fade.

When you stop loving something completely, it’s time for a change.

I don’t spend my life trying to make everyone else happy with my choices, if I did that, I’d never be where I am now.

So onwards! To the next chapter of my life — I hope you’ll continue to follow along on my future travel adventures, wherever they may lead. ★

READ MORE TRAVEL TIPS

How To Save Money For Travel Best Jobs To Make Money While Traveling Becoming A Professional Travel Blogger This Is How I Get Paid To Travel

Have any questions about the digital nomad lifestyle? Could you live this way? Drop me a message in the comments below!

This is a post from The Expert Vagabond adventure blog.

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Why I Quit Being A Digital Nomad (And Moved Back To The US)

I’m No Longer A Digital Nomad

Personal Stories

Last week I spent all day packing up a small U-haul trailer with my belongings, preparing to move to Los Angeles, California. It felt a bit surreal after 7 years living as a digital nomad.

A bed. A couch. A TV. A desk. Cat toys. A cat (no, he’s not going in the U-haul). Pulling it all behind a new Jeep. I haven’t owned this much stuff in years!

What the hell happened? When did I stop being a full-time vagabond, traveling the world while living out of a backpack?

Well, it’s a long story. And it’s about time I shared it with you.

2010: My First Backpacking Trip in Mexico

Becoming A Digital Nomad

So if you’ve been following my journey for a while, you’ll know that back in 2010 I decided to save some money, quit my job, sold most of my belongings, and started backpacking around the world, blogging about it as I went.

It was a super scary decision at the time, and I had no idea what the future would bring. My guess was that I’d travel for a year, run out of money, then move back to the US and get a “real” job again.

What actually happened? I managed to build a successful business from my travel blog, and continued to travel almost non-stop for the next 7 years.

Working as a digital nomad from my computer anywhere there was a wifi connection. It was a relatively new kind of lifestyle at the time, and everyone thought I was crazy for attempting it.

During those 7 years without a home, I visited over 50 countries. I lived for months at a time in places like Thailand, Mexico, Turkey, Spain, Nicaragua, and South Africa.

Everything I owned fit into a pair of backpacks — I was completely nomadic. Working for myself. An expert vagabond (hence the name).

I was living the digital nomad dream!

But then my dreams began to change. As they often do over time.

The Downsides of Nomadic Living

Digital Nomad Burnout

I started noticing a change after about 5 years into my fully nomadic lifestyle. Constantly moving from place to place came with it’s own set of problems that became increasingly annoying as the years went by.

Traveling around the world and making money online sounds incredible, I know. And it is in many ways! I’m not complaining. This lifestyle has been very good to me.

However there are also downsides to being a digital nomad.

THIS LIFESTYLE IS EXHAUSTING

Many digital nomads hang out in a country or city for a few weeks before moving on to the next. But you can’t earn money if you’re not working, so now you’re trying to cram work & vacation into a short period of time.

Just when you get into a comfortable routine, it’s time to move and start all over again. Packing up, navigating your way around a new city, a new culture, and all the challenges that go along with those things. It gets tiring!

THIS LIFESTYLE IS LONELY

Yes, you get to meet all kinds of cool people around the world when you’re constantly traveling. But because everyone is always coming or going, it’s tough to form a meaningful connection with anyone.

I missed having a regular group of friends to hang out with. I missed being so far away from family. And unless you plan to date fellow digital nomads, relationships are complicated when only one of you can travel freely.

THIS LIFESTYLE IS UNPRODUCTIVE

Well, I should say less productive than it could be. Sure I managed to build a business while traveling, but it wasn’t easy, and I think I could have grown faster if I worked from a home-base instead of hostels & coffee shops.

Trying to juggle a normal work routine when you’re also trying to figure out where to sleep next week just isn’t ideal. Often, I never wrote much about the places I was living because I was too busy catching up with work after months of traveling.

Nothing Is Perfect

Basically, there is no perfect way to live. By becoming a digital nomad, you simply trade one set of problems for a completely different kind.

“Instead of an addiction to status and possessions, we are addicted to experience and novelty. And the end result is the same. Our relationships, our connections to what’s real, sometimes suffer.” ~ Mark Manson

Maybe, like me, you won’t be bothered by these things for a few years — it was still far more exciting than my previous life in the rat race! But eventually the problems amplify over time… and you’ll have a choice to make.

View of Los Angeles, California

Moving Back To America

As the negatives piled up, I began renting apartments for 3 months at a time. Eventually I signed a year-long lease in Playa del Carmen, Mexico. I was slowing down, taking trips that lasted 1-3 weeks, and enjoying them more.

It was nice having a base, a place to call “home” for a while.

However as much as I loved living in Mexico, I soon felt an urge to return to the United States. To spend more time with family & friends. To pursue more lucrative business opportunities there.

And, to participate more fully in my own country’s democratic process, no longer content watching from the sidelines as the United States seemed to spiral into a depressing (dangerous?) abyss of ignorance & hate.

But where to go? Moving from Mexico with my girlfriend Anna, we decided to try Boulder, Colorado for the summer. We’ve been living there with our new cat Poofy (yes, he’s on Instagram!) for the past 5 months.

Boulder was pretty, but not exactly what we were looking for. It was kinda small, very homogeneous, and full of families & students. With our unconventional lifestyles, we felt a bit out of place there.

So now we’re off to California to give Los Angeles a try.

Marriage: Our Next Adventure!

Plus We Got Married!

Surprise! It’s been a busy year. I first met Anna in 2015 at a travel blogging conference called TBEX in Florida, where travel personalities and companies come together to network.

She’s in the same line of work as I am, running a popular travel/fashion blog and Instagram account.

We hit it off right away, with a common love of travel, cats, and working online. The city girl and the adventure guy, both taking risks & working hard to pursue our dreams.

Anna is a remarkable woman. Originally from Poland, she’s been traveling the world for longer than I have. She holds degrees in International Law, Journalism, and Fashion Marketing from multiple universities (including Harvard). She’s fluent in 5 languages, and has lived in places like Mexico City, Cape Town, London, Miami, and LA.

Soon after we met in Florida, Anna came down to Mexico, where we began dating. Eventually we moved in together, using Mexico as a base to travel from. It was one of the happiest periods of my life, and I fell in love.

After a year and a half of dating, living, working, and traveling together, I proposed early one morning at a remote mountain cabin in Colorado. We eloped in Las Vegas a few weeks later at the famous Graceland Chapel!

It was spontaneous, non-traditional, and fun, just like our lives up to this point.

Hiking in Afghanistan

Are You Giving Up Vagabonding?

Yes and no. Yes, I’m giving up on the pipe-dream of constantly moving from place to place, living out of a bag for the rest of my life. What initially sounded romantic, adventurous, and free has become a burden over time.

My goal for this wild experiment has always been to experience as much of our large & diverse world as possible NOW, while I’m relatively young. Not stuck behind a desk working to make someone else rich.

Sharing my travel experiences to help and inspire others, while earning a living on my own terms.

The freedom to do as I please. No approval needed. No bosses to report to. Following my passion and making a living through adventure travel & photography.

Well, I’ve achieved these goals. I am completely location independent. I work for myself, setting my own hours, traveling when and where I want to. I’ve also been fortunate to make a great living doing what I love.

Am I just getting older and feeling a need to slow down? I’m 36 now. Have I simply become financially independent enough that I’m no longer forced to live in cheap backpacker destinations in order to get by?

I think these may have been factors in my decision too.

Chilling In Morocco

Choosing Location Independence

I wouldn’t trade the last 7 years of my life working as a traveling digital nomad for anything else. It’s been a wild ride, and the experience has taught me so much about myself and the world in general.

However I now realize that I prefer location independence over fully nomadic living. Because there’s a difference.

Location independence simply means you are free to choose where you live, not stuck living somewhere you hate because of a particular job. Being a digital nomad means you’re always traveling, with no real home.

We spent the summer in Colorado. We’re planning to spend 2018 in Los Angeles. Maybe after that, we’ll decide to move somewhere else. Italy? Spain? Iceland? Kansas?

With location independence, all our options are open!

The important part, is the freedom to choose my location, and the ability to update that choice at any time.

For those of you who are interested in becoming digital nomads, I don’t want to completely discourage you. The lifestyle does have plenty of benefits, and I’m not saying you shouldn’t give it a shot.

However after 7 years living as a homeless digital nomad, I personally no longer think it’s sustainable (or healthy) on a long-term basis.

I’m not the only one who thinks this way either — it seems to be a common choice for many after a few years on the road:

The Beginning Of The End – Nomadic Matt

9 Years Of Legal Nomads – Legal Nomads

Leaving Is Easy, Fighting Is Harder – Adventurous Kate

The Dark Side Of The Digital Nomad – Mark Manson

My Nomadic Lifestyle Comes To An End – Ottsworld

After 70 Countries, Why I Moved To Portugal – Neverending Footsteps

Life Is A Highway, And I Wanna Ride It

What’s Next?

Honestly, not much is changing. I’m still planning to travel a ton, about 6 months every year. The only difference is now I have a wife, a home, and a cat to come back to once my trips are over!

Sometimes Anna & I will travel together, sometimes I’ll be on my own. I’ll continue sharing my wild travel adventures with you from around the world through blog posts, YouTube videos, and travel photography.

Having a home-base simply means I’ll be more productive, creating useful travel guides, sharing fun travel stories, and teaching tips & tricks I’ve learned after 7 years working as a professional travel blogger & photographer.

To kick off the change, next spring I’m co-leading my first adventure travel & photography tour in a remote part of Russia (sign up to my newsletter for details)!

After moving to Los Angeles this week, Anna & I are researching the possibility of TV and media appearances while continuing to build our businesses here in the United States.

Having LAX airport as our travel hub will keep flight costs low, allowing us both to travel often. We have friends here, and more pass through all the time.

There is a wide variety of epic coastline, mountains, deserts, canyons, and forests within a day’s driving distance from the city if I want to get outside into nature for a while.

I know some of you may be disappointed in this change. Those who romanticize living on the road out of a backpack. It’s one of the reasons I’ve been putting off publishing this blog post for so long… I was scared.

Unfortunately there’s not much I can do about what other people think. I’ve lived as a vagabond for years, and don’t regret my choice, but my passion for constantly moving began to fade.

When you stop loving something, it’s time for a change.

I don’t spend my life trying to make everyone else happy with my choices, if I did that, I’d never be where I am now.

So onwards! To the next chapter of my life — I hope you’ll continue to follow along on my travel adventures, wherever they may lead. ★

READ MORE TRAVEL TIPS

How To Save Money For Travel Best Jobs To Make Money While Traveling Becoming A Professional Travel Blogger

Have any questions about the digital nomad lifestyle? Could you live this way? Drop me a message in the comments below!

This is a post from The Expert Vagabond adventure blog.

How to Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself & End the Pity Party

When bad things happen, your pity party can’t go on forever. It is time to learn how to stop feeling sorry for yourself and move forward.

I understand heartache, I do. I also understand some people have worse luck than others. In fact, anyone who has ever met me and heard about a tenth of the tribulations I have been through probably thinks I was Hitler in my past life. If you are looking for how to stop feeling sorry for yourself, I get it, truly.

It is hard to see everyone around you seemingly skate through life without a care in the world, because there really are those people. There are people in other countries who have nothing, but if that argument doesn’t hold water for you like it doesn’t for me, then don’t buy into it.

How to stop feeling sorry for yourself

Through every trial I went through in life, there was always that person on the sidelines saying things like, “Things could be worse.” And, there were many times in my life when I thought “Yeah, but things could be a whole lot fucking better.” But, feeling sorry for yourself doesn’t help. In fact, it might be the thing that keeps you stuck.

There is a point in life when we all need to have a pity party and let people come and give us the empathy we need. But, every party should end. You find the strength to give it up and move forward.

Instead of accepting defeat and throwing in the towel, staying perpetually sorry for yourself, try these pick me up tricks to find the inner lucky that you just don’t see right now.

#1 Hang out with someone shallow. It is easy to feel sorry for yourself when you are a very emotional or highly sensitive person. The best way to not feel sorry for yourself is to hang out with someone with no depth.

What you find in the midst of your pain, you are real and have feelings. It is much better to feel sadness and go through a hard time, than to walk through life without feeling or really caring about anything genuine. Shallow people make people with depth feel pretty good about where they are at. [Read: The 36 shallow traits a superficial person can’t hide]

#2 Visit a children’s hospital. I am sorry, but nothing makes someone feel less sorry for themselves than going to visit or helping at a children’s ward at the hospital.

Sign up to help with child life and entertain kids in your spare time. When you realize there is always someone worse off, especially children who haven’t even had time to really experience and live yet, your problems seem less critical.

#3 Volunteer. When you realize there is always someone worse off than you, it becomes difficult not to see all you have and know that for as sorry as you are for yourself, there is someone who your sorries should really be going to.

Volunteering is a great way to find that you are not the most unfortunate soul out there, even if it feels that way sometimes. [Read: 20 positive ways to create a chain of goodwill]

#4 Count your many blessings. Stop looking at all your struggles and take a look around to find those positive things in your life. Whether it is your good friends, a house over your head, or a spouse there to love you, we all have blessings that we sometimes diminish by seeing only the dark side.

If you want to know how to stop feeling sorry for yourself, it is about seeing all you do have instead of what you don’t.

#5 Put away your social media and unplug. Social media isn’t real. All it does is make you feel like everyone else’s life is awesome, and yours sucks. Let me let you in on a secret, not that many people post their misery. They post the best selfies, talk about the good things they have, and celebrate their many gifts and accolades.

But, everyone has bad days. Everyone experiences tragedy, and everyone goes through periods of sadness, we just don’t put them on the internet for all to see. If you stop comparing yourself to what isn’t real, you just might find that you really don’t have things so bad.

Get off of social media and live in the real world. [Read: 13 ways to wean yourself off social media]

#6 Spend the day with someone special. Do you have someone in your life who just makes you feel good to reconnect with them. Sometimes, it just takes a day to turn your week around. Make a commitment to stay in touch with the people who care and are an incentive to feel good.

#7 Do something nice for someone else. Do something nice for someone else. Not only will it give you a little boost of good feeling, but it also helps you brighten someone else’s day. Win-win.

Evolution gave us little boosts of good feelings to encourage us to help others for survival. So, get that little goodness running through your brain and help pick someone else up too.

#8 Make a goal. It is hard to feel sorry for yourself when you have your eyes on the prize. Instead of sitting around ruminating about something that happened or feeling bad about something in the past, make a goal for yourself and work each day to achieve it.

Whether running a marathon or completing your undergraduate degree, if you start moving forward, it will be impossible to sink. [Read: How to be a good person – 10 small changes to transform your world]

#9 Change one small thing every day. Sometimes, we try too hard to change ourselves. We end up failing because we are creatures of habit, and it becomes too hard to change.

Make a commitment to change one small thing about yourself and your situation every day, like a one percent change. What you find is one day you wake up to a different person. It won’t happen overnight, but if you make continual and constant small changes, they add up to happiness.

#10 Figure out what your purpose is. Feeling sorry for ourselves sometimes stems from not really understanding why we are here. Suffering for suffering’s sake is a very hopeless concept.

If you have an understanding of meaning and purpose in life and see suffering is not just random, but intentional and necessary, it helps you to stop feeling sorry for yourself and see how what you go through is a necessary component of your time here on earth. That makes it easier to accept and to find the silver lining lurking in every situation. [Read: What is the point of life? Secrets to decode the cosmic joke]

#11 Join a support group. Misery loves company not because it creates more misery, but because you feel less alone and sad. If you recognize you are not the only one goes through a struggle and finds support with people who “get it” and understand your feelings, your feeling of community makes you want to move on past the pity that you feel for yourself.

#12 Find a cause to support. If you can’t seem to get yourself out of a rut then immerse yourself into helping pick someone else out of theirs. Instead of sinking in your own situation, find a cause you believe in and change someone else’s life for the better. It helps the feelings of hopelessness and helplessness that probably drive your feelings of pity. [Read: How to feel better about yourself – 20 small changes for big results]

#13 Stop going to therapy. What happens at therapy? You rehash all the bad things you have been through, over and over and over and over. Talking through things doesn’t make them disappear. For some people, it just makes them relive the events again, never able to reconcile or let them go.

Therapy might work for some. If it is just a time you go to purge and it goes nowhere, then move on. Stop rehashing to make sense of something that just might not ever make sense to you.

#14 Don’t hang out with people who feed into it. For every person who feels sorry for themselves, there are five who love it that they do. If you are someone who other people feed off of because they thank their lucky stars they aren’t you, then they feed your monster. You feed theirs.

Knowing how to stop feeling sorry for yourself means you stop hanging out with people who feel sorry for you. They aren’t helping. They just might be the thing keeping you stuck. [Read: Stop pleasing people and feel awesome instead]

#15 Forgive yourself, your past, and leave it there. Sometimes we feel sorry for ourselves because we can’t forgive others who wronged us or even forgive ourselves. You must forgive to move forward. Let the past be the past.

Only by letting go of whatever you feel sorry for yourself about, can you find the hopeful inner you. Instead of pitying yourself, you celebrate your time here.

[Read: How to stop ruminating: Leave your past and live your future]

If you can find meaning in life and stop feeling as if everything is out of your control, you might see that suffering is never in vain. Realizing everyone around you will suffer is how to stop feeling sorry for yourself.

The post How to Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself & End the Pity Party is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.