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soljiwann · 3 years

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I think I do understand why Jiwan is scared. Why she asked Sol, "but if we date and then we break up... what will we do then? I don't what that to happen." bc she is afraid. Jiwan is scared that dating Sol would inevitably mean losing her because none of her previous relationships have lasted.

which is why she thinks that if they do start dating, Sol would also eventually get over her and leave her. And she cannot fathom not having Sol in her life.

But Sol reassuring her that she doesn't need to worry, that even if they don't date, nothing will change between them. Sol lowering herself physically in front of Jiwan, getting down on one knee and taking Jiwan's hands in hers and looking Jiwan in the eyes as she promises that she will still like jiwan no matter what. and initiating a hug between them because she knows Jiwan's love language is physical affection, is a lot.

and Jiwan's expression when Sol hugs her, the little gasp she lets out at as Sol reassures her that Jiwan doesn't have to worry about losing her at all, she will like jiwan no matter what...

even if they get the korrasami treatment and just hold hands with their fingers intertwined and smile and be happy with each other doing mundane things in the epilogue, even if it isn't explicitly stated (which I would love for it to be, but. given circumstances, I understand.) I think its okay.

Because the narrative sprinkles in the fact that least Nabi knows about them already, bc

a) Jiwan went to her for advice. It was her feeling insecure and wondering if you date someone and then you break up then you lose one half of your soul and Nabi reassuring her that if this person is already one half of your soul then you must mean a lot to them as well, they must feel very strongly about you too. Maybe this person also feels the way you are feeling right now. So talk to them. After which Jiwan DID.

b) that the next day when she sees Sol, Nabi tells Sol that happiness looks good on her, and that it isn't that Jiwan told her or that Jiwan was being obvious about it but that Sol's happiness is more obvious as well. Nabi clearly knows who Jiwan was talking about. Especially since she was also there when Jiwan ran away from the room whe Nabi was talking to Sol. Nabi knows.

And Nabi at least, really supports them wholeheartedly.

I mean, look at them.

Sol's smile when she huge Jiwan?? The way Jiwan beams back??? There is no heterosexual explaination for this.

They are together. In every sense of the word.

The only way to make this better is to let them have at least one good honest kiss ...and I'll be alright.

#soljiwan #nevertheless #nevertheless spoilers #seo jiwan #yoon sol #soljiwan spoilers #they are DATING trust me #sol x jiwan #soljiwan meta #this is what i have become #asianlgbtqdramas #sapphics #wlw

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illuminatedquill · 3 years

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Hometown Cha Cha Ep.15, Ramblings

I feel like others have used this gif to explain their feelings regarding this episode but it’s so apt that I’m going to use it again.

So, yeah. Hometown Cha Cha Cha Episode 15. How are we all feeling?

Not well, huh? Well me, too. This episode hit all the spots for angst and then some. I was fully expecting it to wreck me and it went above and beyond that. The writing, the acting, the direction, the narrative - all of it made for one potent mix and probably one of the most powerful hours of kdrama television I’ve seen in a while.

I didn’t even cry this hard during Squid Game. It was that good.

I’m not doing my usual analysis because I’m fried, both emotionally and mentally, so instead I’m just going to touch on the parts that stood out to me the most and talk about them.

SPOILER ALERT for anyone who hasn’t watched it yet.

I-jun’s Story

I know we all (rightfully) rave about Kim Seon-ho and Shin Min-ah in this drama but the actor for I-jun, along with his friend Bo-ra, deserve recognition too. Because, man, how can you not cry when they cry.

I-jun is so mature and responsible at his age; it’s something his parents brag about constantly, but it’s easy to forget that he’s still a kid and has feelings that are appropriate for that age. Experiencing a divorce is heavy on anyone, but especially on younger kids. It’s never fun to see your family split apart like that and although I think his parents did their best to limit the damage, his confession at the end still proves that he was bottling up a lot - not because they asked him to, but because he felt like that was what’s expected of him. And that’s terrible.

I don’t think Yeong-guk and Hwa-jeong are awful parents, not by any long shot - it speaks a lot to their characters that I-jun missed having them eat together as a family under one roof and was crying tears of happiness about the announcement of them getting back together. But it’s that high expectation they have of him, unknowingly, that leads him to run away because he’s ashamed of his tears, even though they’re happy tears. His first reaction is mature and reasonable and they’re relieved - but they don’t probe deeper and just take it at face value.

I-jun is a kid. And he was miserable when they were apart and happy when they got back together. He never said anything because he didn’t want to burden them with his feelings. It’s a lot for anyone to do, but especially for someone so young. I’m so happy that Hwa-jeong apologized for not understanding his feelings and that Yeong-guk reaffirmed I-jun’s feelings that, hey, you’re a kid so, yes, you’re allowed to feel this stuff. You can tell us about this and express this whenever you want.

Also Bo-ra’s reaction is hilariously heartwarming - I-jun’s lucky to have a friend like her, who will cry when he cries, and promises to never let him feel lonely ever again, even if what she is promising is essentially a marriage proposal, LOL.

I love these two kids so much. They’re gonna be fine.

Thank you, I-jun and Bo-ra. You re-defined friendship for us, the viewers, and we’ll always love you for that. Life can be miserable, tough, and unyielding, but that’s why we have friends to help lighten the burden.

Cho-hui’s Story

Ah, we could have had it all. While I’m a little disappointed about how her story turned out, it was still a beautiful resolution nevertheless (long may Soljiwan reign). I hope she finds her happiness in someone else and am glad that she isn’t sad about Hwa-jeong getting back together with Yeong-guk. Her story, like all the others in this show, was handled with such love and care.

And Hwa-jeong, again (what a QUEEN), taking Cho-hui’s confession so well. Confirming to Cho-hui that she knew the entire time and didn’t say anything about it, but still accepting her for who she is - especially in the face of her family’s attitude towards her sexuality. Cho-hui’s gonna be alright with a friend like Hwa-jeong by her side.

I’m hoping we get an epilogue with her (well, with everyone) for the finale that maybe she finds new love because that’s what I want for her the most and she deserves it. What a beautiful story in a show that’s already overflowing with them. And Hwa-jeong cheering for her friend the whole way.

Thank you, Cho-hui. Your story resonated with a lot of people and gave hope, comfort, and love. We wish you all the best in life and love. Always be who you are and surround yourself with people who love you for you.

Seon-a, Do-ha, and Du-shik’s Story

So, at last, we get Du-shik’s tragic backstory. And, I have to say, it was well worth the wait.

It’s an ill fate that binds these three together. Ji PD’s choice of Gongjin for his variety show seems to be divine intervention at work. And this episode is pain, pain, PAIN for how we see Du-shik come into the center of this sad story. He’s certainly at the center of this tangled web - why?

Because of his decency. Because of his kindess, his compassion, his empathy towards other people. And it puts him at the crosshairs of all these people, who suffered as he suffered, who lost what he lost, but the difference is that he takes the pain, the blame, and all the misery onto himself. Du-shik is at the center of all this PAIN and AGONY because he puts himself there.

He cannot imagine anywhere else he would be when tragedy strikes.

All of this, because Du-shik tries. And, God, does he try so hard to help when everything falls apart. And when he does try and things seem to get better, it falls apart even more. Someone else he loves, he cares about, he cherishes, loses their life in the process. Jeong-u gets into the car, drives for Du-shik, because he doesn’t want Du-shik driving in his condition.

And he dies because of that.

Was it Du-shik’s fault? No. As Hye-jin pointed out in an earlier episode regarding his grandfather’s death, there are too many variables for it to be entirely his fault. Jeong-u decided to drive. The other car was in the wrong lane (I think?).

And the truck of doom kept going despite having all the time in the world to stop or swerve out of the way.

But Du-shik was there. He survived. And he chose to go see Do-ha’s father. And Jeong-u followed him.

It’s a domino effect, each choice affecting the other, tipping over into another towards the same awful conclusion.

But Du-shik only sees that first domino - himself.

And so do Seon-a and Do-ha.

Do-ha, after hearing from Ji PD and finding out that Du-shik was the one who paid for the medical bills and his tuition, finds the strength to forgive him. “I just wanted someone to blame”, he says.

Seon-a does the same but does not apologize for the things she said and did at her husband’s funeral.

That’s an interesting choice, I thought. Do I agree with it? Absolutely not. Wishing that Du-shik had died in her husband’s place is terrible, even though it was said out of grief. She probably didn’t mean it. I know Jeong-u would have scolded her for saying something so cruel, especially to someone that he loved like a brother.

But I understand it. And I understand why she doesn’t give an apology for her words and actions, terrible as they were.

After grief ravages you like that and robs you, sometimes, even after healing for a couple years, that’s the best you can do. And I think the best Seon-a can do, at this moment, is not resent Du-shik anymore. We’ve seen the viewpoint of this tragedy mostly through Du-shik’s POV and that makes it hard to sympathize with these families who are saying terrible things to him, but they LOST so much on that day too.

Sometimes people forgive and apologize. Sometimes they don’t. Life is like that. People do the best they can and, sometimes, it all goes to hell anyway.

What matters here is that Seon-a let go of her resentment and told Du-shik to forgive himself - because she forgave him. Maybe, in a couple years, she’ll find it within herself to apologize.

Maybe she won’t ever apologize. Doesn’t matter.

She’s moving on. And she tells Du-shik that it’s time to move on, too.

Thank you, Do-ha. Thank you, Seon-a. You showed that there can be forgiveness after grief, healing after loss, and growth after so much death.

Granny Gam-ri’s Story End

I’m not going to wade into the debate whether or not this was necessary. Although, for my two cents, I see what the writer is doing and I think it’s valid. Also, I kinda knew that Gam-ri was most likely going to die since the end of Episode 11. Once she saw that Du-shik was with Hye-jin and how happy they were together, she had nothing more to wish for. No more regrets.

There’s some that wished that they had a last scene together but, true to life, that didn’t happen. I kinda like it that way. We don’t always get a chance for a proper farewell with loved ones. Life doesn’t work out that way. Not all endings are equal or good. They just are.

She was someone that lived a long, full, and happy life. Who saw the extraordinary in the ordinary and sought to spread happiness to everyone she knew. She passed in her sleep, surrounded by two of her best friends, in the house she called home, with a beautiful ocean view outside her front porch.

We should all be so lucky.

Lighthouses keep popping up in the scenery for Gongjin so I’m going to use it here to describe Gam-ri’s role in Du-shik’s life: she was his lighthouse, when he was adrift in a dark and lonely sea. When Du-shik was going to kill himself, it’s her timely text that broke through and reminded him that there was someone who didn’t hate his existence, who wasn’t disgusted by his presence, that there was someone who missed him and wanted to see his face again.

Du-shik is lucky to have three people who have served as his lighthouses for him in his adult life.

The first is Jeong-u, the reliable, kind, and caring older brother. He promises to Du-shik’s grandfather that he would look out for him, take care of him, see him get married.

And then he died.

The second is Gam-ri. Du-shik returned home, broken and battered, and she (along with the rest of Gong-jin) welcomed him back, took him in, helped him to rebuild into the Chief Hong that we all know and love. They gave him a reason to keep going, instead of forever consigning himself to non-existence. She took care of him, served as his lighthouse - but knowing, always knowing, that she was getting older and wouldn’t be around forever.

And the last, of course, is Hye-jin. The love of his life. Who reunited with her “sea prince” once more; this time, to stay and be with him forever. And once they got together, Gam-ri knew that she could relinquish her role in Du-shik’s life to Hye-jin; that if/when it was her time to go, that he would be in good hands.

There’s a scene, near the end of Episode 15, where Hye-jin tells Du-shik not to “overthink things”. You wanna know who the last person is to tell Du-shik that?

It was Gam-ri.

I know they’re setting up a parallel with Gam-ri and the Do-ha’s father for this last episode - that Du-shik, because he was overwhelmed with things, missed out from meeting with these people - but I think the goal this time is to show how he’ll deal with that in a much more healthy fashion now that Hye-jin is there with him. He’s not alone now. There’s someone there to hold his hand, lend their shoulder, and give a hug when he wants to cry.

Hye-jin will be Du-shik’s lighthouse; his lookout for when the sea gets too dark and turbulent. His guiding light when he gets lost and wants to go home.

Gam-ri is happy. She died knowing that this person, who is like a son to her, is no longer alone. That’s more than enough.

So, thank you Gam-ri. Thank you, so much. I hope you enjoy your picnic and eat lots of tasty squid.

We’re going to miss you. I hope you don’t mind waiting a while for everyone else to catch up.

Final Thoughts

I cried a lot. I don’t usually cry during dramas. I didn’t even cry during Squid Game (although I felt really sad).

But this one? This drama really pushed me over the edge. There’s just so much heart in it.

I trust the writer to bring this home for one more fantastic episode. This has seriously been a perfect run so far. I don’t have any expectations (except, well, more crying) other than give this whole seaside village the happy send off they deserve.

One more episode to go. Let’s all re-hydrate and prepare for the end of this beautiful story that is Hometown Cha Cha Cha.

Say it with me one more time?

La la la la la la la la la, Romantic Sunday -

#hometown cha cha cha #homecha #homcha #hong du shik #yoon hye jin #kim seon ho #shin min ah #chief hong #hong banjang #kdrama #netflix

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