touch // aventurine

i think he would be like a cat. come to you for affection? not a chance in hell. but ok..... you know maybe lean his head on your shoulder while you're reading on the couch. maybe you shift to accommodate him, drape an arm across his shoulders, pull him in, almost absently. no sudden movements, you'll scare him off. and if you're just gentle enough, he might let you. might remain where he is, head on your shoulder, unmoving but for the rise and fall of his breathing. no searching hands, no reaching — but you can stroke his hair, softly, occasionally. twirl it around your finger idly, no tugging, not too much. it'll make him smile, on a good day, but only when you're not looking.

today, he just sighs. you don't ask how he is — some things can't be put into words, and that's not what his are for — but you can rest your head atop his, breathe along with him, arm around his shoulders firm and gentle. if you're attentive, you'll feel the way he slowly, reluctantly lets go of the tension in his body— the coil in the base of his skull, the taut line drawing his shoulders up imperceptibly. he'll learn to melt in your hands, one day, but you'll have to earn it. for now, this is enough. maybe you melt first, forget what you were paying attention to initially, feel the warm weight of him against your frame, the scent of him, the ebb and flow of his breath, slowing to match yours; his pulse, slowing to match yours. he's let you this close, he might fall asleep on you. if you notice, you'll put what you're looking at away and twine the fingers of your other hand with his. he won't know how to ask for it, but if he hasn't completely drifted off, he'll squeeze your hand, gently. sleep, you'll whisper, i'll be here. and he won't reply, but you'll feel him press closer, soften against the shape of you, drift away. you watch him for a moment, watch the fan of his light lashes against his cheek, and how his eyes flick beneath his lids with unseen dreams. if you fall asleep with him, you might catch him as you're waking, an uncharacteristic softness in his features, before he notices you've noticed. maybe if the time is right, he won't care that you have. but you won't speak of it. you'll both wake, and he'll interrupt the moment, eventually, rise from the couch, put the mask back on, but the sweetness of it will linger, barely perceptible, only to you.

presence // aventurine

he'll never outrightly ask you what it is, not at the outset.

he might find you curled on the couch, quiet, trying to breathe out the something in your chest that writhes and constricts, or in tears, but he won't ask, only sit quietly with you, lean against you, the weight of him enough to reassure you of his presence. maybe you reach for him, curl into the hollow of his body, and he'll let you, hold you until the tears stop, or you can feel your hands again, or you fall asleep, to the steady rhythm of his heart.

you'll wake, or look at him, and he'll speak, then, maybe look back at you with those iridescent eyes that you love, as he asks, softly, if you're feeling better, if you want to talk about it.

he'll keep you company, either way, listening. there is a steadiness in the weight of his arms around you, in the even beat of his heart against your back. you'll have to move, eventually, one of your legs falling asleep under you, and you'll both laugh, and shift. he gently disentangles himself from you, to get you something to drink. you settle back down, curled around each other, talk quietly until the sunlight changes.

i wonder if kaeya knew, when diluc was at death’s door, so to speak. whether one evening, turning his vision over in his hands absently, he notices it is dimmer

there is nothing he can do but watch, and watch he does, watches the light flicker and waver, and all he can do is pray — to what god, his people have no god — pray that it does not go out

the waiting game is the worst. no way to reach out, no way to know, except that he hasn’t seen the falcon in weeks? months? longer than usual. maybe he is caught up, maybe he is busy, maybe he’s just far away—

too far for him to follow. the light glows dim, pulses, heartbeats or breaths. kaeya waits and watches, throws himself into his work, wishes on dandelions. maybe it’s nothing, maybe it’s him about to lose everything, maybe—

each morning he wakes, clutching the vision. the light still glows faint, red through the skin of his hands, just a little stronger than he remembers. he watches it stabilise, breathes a little easier.

there is a tap on the window. kaeya stares, as the falcon alights on his windowsill, dumbfounded still as he lets it in, a flurry of feathers, gently unties its precious cargo. he cannot breathe until he knows, he cannot breathe—

it’s diluc’s handwriting. he dare not hope. it’s recent.

he reads, feverishly, tracing the letters with his eyes even as they blur with tears.

“i ran into some trouble” is all the explanation he gets. he wants to pick up the pen and scrawl “WHAT HAPPENED” onto the neat knights of favonius stationery on his table and send that back, unsigned.

he does not. he reports, like he has been, the only excuse he has for writing. his penmanship betrays none of the weeks of anxiety. take care, be safe, signed steadily, sent back on the wind, across the wilds, to diluc’s waiting hands.

fandom: genshin impact relationship: wriothesley/neuvillette word count: 921 rating: T summary:

He watches as Wriothesley twists the rings on his fingers absently as he speaks. He has always liked the way they look, and there is something about the way the silver moves and glints against Wriothesley's hands and the dark of his clothes that mesmerises him.

A memory bubbles up, unbidden, of those same hands, sliding the very same rings off his fingers, carefully, as he whispers to him, to run calloused palms across his skin, seeking, warm fingers curling around the ache of his—

Neuvillette shakes the thought away.

—

an instance of an innocuous little habit being given an entirely different connotation, under certain circumstances.

written for @ficwip's valentine's event hey, sweetheart 2024

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fandom: genshin impact relationship: wriothesley/neuvillette word count: 382 rating: G summary:

just a moment in the rain, no longer alone.

a second piece for @ficwip's 2024 run of hey, sweetheart 🩷 i guess this is me making up for the fact that i didn't post last year? hahaha

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what if kaeya felt the call of the chasm all the way from mond; what if he, inexplicably, simply felt like had to be there, be somewhere, the pull to go southeast burning in his mind his heart his blood

but he cannot, so he dreams.

the chasm yawns wide before him, in his mind, an expanse of darkness that stretches further than he can imagine. he knows exactly where he needs to go

he crosses the unfamiliar terrain. it's home, it feels like home. the rancour in his blood cools, the dark of the chasm wraps around him like a swaddling cloth. he is... here. why does it feel so much like

—home?

he hadn't called it home for so many years. not since he left. mond is home. but here, something in his bones felt at peace.

stay a while, something — someone? — entreats, and he looks up into eyes that, it occurs to him, are blue and gold and grey all at once.

who are you, he wants to ask, but his voice will not sound, only a cotton-dark silence that surrounds him. "come home, child"

where is home? he aches. home is gone, gone for five hundred years. the place that birthed him, the place that raised him, he belongs to both, and neither, there is nowhere—

"kaeya." he wakes, in his dream, with a start. when did he fall asleep, how did he fall asleep, in a dream? diluc crouches next to him — or at least he thinks it is him — an impression of warmth. "c'mon, kae, let's go home."

he takes his hand.

on the couch, in his office, he opens his eyes. diluc's beautiful crimson eyes fill his vision. sluggishly, the dream recedes. he smiles at the sight. "luc." diluc brushes tears from his face he hadnt even known were there. "i'm here."

kaeya smiles again, and inexplicably, more tears. "i know," he says. he blots the tears away with a sleeve and sits up, rubs his eyes.

"nightmare?" diluc asks, and kaeya shakes his head.

"not really, just a very strange dream."

diluc slots himself into the space next to him, and kaeya leans his head easily on his shoulder with a soft sigh. "tell me about it?"

"mmhm." kaeya picks at the strap around his wrist.

"i dreamed i was in a dark place, and someone i almost remembered was calling me, calling me away, to a place from very long ago. calling me home." he buckles and unbuckles the clasp. diluc strokes his hair, silently.

kaeya continues, quietly, "then i heard your voice, you spoke to me, asked me to come home. and i woke, and there you were, and i was home."

3 sentence fic (february '24)

written for ficwip's monthly 3 sentence fic exercise!

for prompt: a first love & a last look

fandom: d.gray-man ship: allen/kanda word count: 289 rating: G summary: kanda says goodbye

—

Yuu doesn't know when exactly, but it hits him, somewhere between the revelations and the investigating, that there could come a point when he would never see Allen again — at least, not as he has always known him; he might still see his face, but he cannot be sure it will still be him, still be his Allen.

His Allen, he thinks, and thinks about how audacious a claim it is to make, that he wants something different out of the boy everyone seemed to want something of — to play host, to take sides, to save the world, et cetera, et cetera — and yet, he remembers the way he had offered up his story, lightly, opening that door that he — that they had all, really — been knocking on, ever since Allen had first disappeared, opened that door for him, just the same way he had first told him he loved him (confessed a first love, offhandedly, as if he didn't care whether Yuu felt the same way), and he thinks that perhaps he can allow himself this one audacious claim.

He tries to imprint the shape of who Allen is, in his memory, the same way he holds the memory of Alma, the same way he holds the hazy fragments of "that person", memorises the cadences of his speech, the set of his jaw, the shape of his eyes, of the way he laughs, protests, fights him, the dear, warm weight of him in his arms, the sum of who he is so much more than his memory can hold, even as Yuu watches him walk away, across the grass, even as he turns away himself, from his last vision of yet another loss, gold-gilt in the sunlight — farewell.

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all this and heaven too

fandom: honkai star rail characters: dan heng, caelus, march relationships: dan heng/caelus word count: 2051 rating: G tags: confessions, fluff, fluff with no plot, first kiss, podfic linked, playlist linked

summary:

“March noticed.”

“March notices everything. That girl will never give me any peace about you.”

“Me?”

“You.”

–-

sometimes, there is no reason at all to keep a secret. (or, two revelations in a day is perhaps a little much for poor caelus.)

written for prompt set secrets/confessions for #ficwip's multifandom match event.

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3 sentence fic (december '23)

a little thing i haven't felt like plonking on ao3. written for ficwip's monthly 3 sentence fic exercise.

for prompt: a sudden or unplanned reunion

fandom: honkai star rail relationship: argenti/caelus word count: 148 rating: G summary: caelus has a cruuuuush

–-

Caelus fiddles the corner of a page between his fingers, rereading the same line for the fifth time, before giving up — he stares out at the ever-changing starscape through the window, idly wonders about the stranger — friend? — whose acquaintance they had made several weeks before, and what he might say — about it, or perhaps about anything at all, really — Caelus would have settled for listening to him expound the virtues of the driest book in the data bank — if it meant that he might run into him again.

Someone settles in the seat next to him and he starts out of his thoughts, opens his mouth to say something smart, only to be met with the iridescent eyes he would never dare admit he'd been dreaming of, and finds himself at a loss for words.

"I'll say," Argenti says, smiling, "To see you again is an unparalleled delight."

coffee

fandom: genshin impact relationships: iaune & desnos rating: G word count: 100

—

Desnos measures his time in cups of coffee.

An evening cup, to end the day, sometimes decaf—but, if he were honest, Desnos has consumed enough coffee to have more or less desensitised himself to its stimulant properties, at this point.

A morning cup, to drag himself out of bed, groggy and dreading another combination of meka-induced headaches and mind-numbing boredom, relieved only by equally mind-numbing paperwork.

And an afternoon cup, one of many, brewed by him in a large french press. Although, he'd much rather it be brought to him by a dear friend, passing by on official business.

written for a prompt fill for sweet & spicy bingo winter edition: coffee (03)

fandom: honkai star rail relationship: jingyuan/blade word count: 500 rating: G summary: there's not much to say here, it's just a thought i had that grew into a little scenario. written in second person. blade returns to the luofu. jingyuan hopes to see him.

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imagine the only person you know of who has any memory of what happened all those years ago is so far away, and even then, no longer same person you knew back then. then again, the same could be said of you, too. you watched your shifu fall to the mara, had to subdue her yourself; you watched everything you ever loved fall to pieces before your eyes; you learned that violence only leaves behind a bigger mess, learned to become sharp and wily and play your cards right.

when you hear of his return to the luofu, your heart leaps, despite yourself. you're not alone anymore. even if you never speak again, even if he blames you, you blame you; you know exactly what he would say to you, given the chance. you know it would hurt. you would give him the chance any day.

anything to feel less like the luofu is too big, life is too long, and no one remembers the truth of what really happened but yourself.

you get your chance. or perhaps you give it. either way, he is here. and you are here. and he speaks the words you expect to hear, exactly as you have said them to yourself, all these years. you always knew best, the cost of everything. why didn't you say anything? you didn't know. you couldn't know for sure. call it naivete, perhaps, blind faith. why didn't you do anything? why indeed.

but what could you have done? would anyone have listened? would dan feng, mad with grief? would you, yingxing?

you tell him so, watch as there is no flicker of recognition in his lightless eyes, crimson like a wraith's. he is silent, in the face of your words, quietly listens. there is anger, under his silence, but you can feel that he needs to say it, needs to hear it, needs the reminder that he is not the only one left, from a lost time.

no, you are the only one left. the only one unchanged, still alive, bitter, in a different way.

you're right, ren says. it's not a concession, it's an agreement. i don't think we would have.

you stand there in silence, with each other, and you know he has quenched this one flicker of ire, amid the wildfire of his vengeance. he nods, stiffly.

i'll be going, then. sorry for taking up your time.

you stop him, before you even know that you want to.

wait, you say, quicker than you should have, really. will you stay for a cup of tea?

he pauses, mid-stride, and sighs. a long, drawn-out breath. he turns to meet your eyes. have you nothing better to do? there is amusement, in his tone, it is not admonishment.

you shake your head, allow a small smile. not right now.

i think i will, then, he says, something tugging at the corner of his lips. it's been a while.

something in your chest unclenches. it has, you say. it has.

fandom: honkai star rail characters: blade word count: 100 rating: G

summary:

He looks at the reflection before him. It is both familiar, and entirely strange.

--

written for #ficwip's drabble challenge, for prompt: nostalgia for a better/worse time

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fandom: honkai star rail characters: blade, luocha relationships: blade/luocha word count: 724 rating: G tags: new year's fluff, late night conversations, sentiment, established relationship

summary:

Ren lets out a long sigh. "Fine." He pulls Luocha closer, feels the way another body melds into the line of his own. A small, forbidden warmth. He curls into it, silent for a few moments, their breaths falling in step with each other. “Maybe,” he begins, and it occurs to him that it is less a concession and more an admission. “Maybe it… doesn’t have to change.”

--

they reminisce, vaguely. time passes, and some things stay the same.

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fandom: genshin impact relationship: wriothesley/neuvillette word count: 408 rating: G summary:

Neuvillette reaches out, feels the anxious thrum of his heart, distress pounding in his veins, even before he touches him. A storm.

--

i wondered if even the unflappable duc d'méropide still has nightmares every once in a while... and we got this

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