Sometimes you gotta make yourself cry to feel something

"You are all the colors in one, at full brightness." - Violet Markey.

I AM UNWELL. STUPID BOOK.

An Aphmau and Levin Onshot

I constantly think of levin and Aphmau being each other's safe haven and I constantly think about the fact that Levin was one of the only things that kept her going(for season 1 at least, I'm in the process of season 2 so I'm less sure about that during that time period)

so i decided to write a little one-shot of the two of them :) feel free to read and honestly if anyone wanted to let me know if they enjoyed it and would be interested in me writing a garroth x reader (based on if you like how I write) that would be great!

the one shot is below the cut teehee

The nights and days had always blended together, as the sun rised so would the ever-growing checklist of people to see, problems to solve, and places to go. Sometimes it was exhausting, sometimes it was exciting. However, as of late, it became unbearable. With Zane and the threat of O’khasis around the corner, the fear of not knowing when or if Garroth would be taken from her, and the pain of simply losing sleep every night Aphmau had found herself becoming weaker and more frail. Her body was screaming at her. Her limbs ached, her neck had a nick, she had enormous eye bags under her eyes, and she found it hard to smile most times. Dealing with the villagers had become nothing more than a chore. The old greetings that had put her in high spirits had now made her exhausted. Coming home, even going up the stairs had become a task. Most days she found herself walking alongside Garroth who had refused to leave her side when he saw the disheveled look of his lord. With insistent pleads he would walk her up the stairs, saying he was worried she might pass out on the way and get hurt. Then, as they would reach the top, he would pat her shoulder and wish her a good night.

“Sleep well, m’lady” he spoke, his voice gruff and muffled from behind his helm.  “You as well, Garroth” Aphmau mumbled, entering the house as she did so, a smile planted on her face but immediately dropping as she entered. Leaning back on the door she let a thick sigh come from her throat, her feet aching as she lowered herself to the floor. There was no sound coming from the home, only the cackling fire of the torches placed throughout. 

“Mommy?” a small voice rang out and Aphmau opened her eyes to see Levin standing across the way from her. He had been peering down from the corner where his door led from, holding the stuffed bunny that was gifted to him so long ago. 

“Oh! Levin, what are you doing awake? Zoey should've put you to sleep by now.” Aphmau spoke, standing quickly and heading up the stairs to go help her son with whatever had kept him up for so long.  “Oh! Zoey did! But, Levin want see Mommy! Before sleep!” he spoke, his sentences still broken with young age. Aphmau let out a little chuckle, feeling her shoulders drop a little, 

“Oh Levin, Mommy stays out too late for you to do that. You should be getting your sleep!” she spoke, her voice shaking a little. Such a small gesture, one that to most kids would be as simple as an act of rebellion and giddy mischief rather than the heart-touching feelings that Aphmau felt at this moment.  “Yes! But! Levin miss mommy. Levin see mommy sad. Smile!” his voice was loud with a child-like innocence that if bottled up it could be sold for millions of dollars to those who only knew the world's struggles. Aphmau smiled, small tears running down her cheeks as she let out a little laugh, “I miss you too Levin. Come on, do you want to sleep in mommy's bed tonight?” she spoke softly before Levin jumped about yelling ‘yay! Mommy bed!’ over and over, she only laughed and picked up the small boy and set him on her hip before unlocking the door to her room and entering. 

Aphmau lit a candle, setting Levin down on the bed before going behind the blinds to take off her heavy armor and switch into something that was slightly more comfortable. Aphamau sighed before walking over to the bed and sitting down on it, Levin looked up at her with tired eyes

“Why Mommy no smile?” he asked, his sleepy voice becoming softer and softer by the moment. It left Aphmau speechless and for a moment she didn't respond.  “Sometimes, big people have jobs they need to do, and sometimes those jobs are very hard. When the jobs are hard it can cause big people to feel…” Aphmau searched for the word, not knowing how to explain the overwhelming feeling of hopelessness and tiredness that had been constantly weighing on her shoulders for the past few months, “heavy.” she finally decided on a word. Not thinking Levin would understand, but it would be enough to satisfy his curious spirit. She looked over to see him nodding, he then smiled  “Then mommy have stuffie!” Levin held out his stuffed animal, before cuddling up to the pillow next to her and against the wall, “when Levin feel tired and heavy, Levin hugs stuffy feels better! Levin knows mommy will too!” Levin spoke, before finally drifting to sleep, a small smile on his face,  completely unaware of the fact that the simple gesture had left Ahmau in tears as she held onto the bunny that Levin had “given” her. 

Aphmau looked over to Levin, before leaning down and kissing the top of his head and tucking him into the covers. Finally, she blew out the candle and lay down on her side, letting an arm rest over the small child, and the other held onto the bunny with such tightness that the fluffy cloth had pillowed over her hand. Tears streamed down her cheeks. 

This boy had been dropped at her doorstep so long ago, his mother had given him up for his safety in turn for her life of freedom. Would Aphmau be able to do the same? If it came to war, would Aphmau be able to say goodbye to the children so she could keep them safe? The answer felt so second nature it was almost painful, absolutely.

SIGHHHH BSD REREAD…................I MISS THEM SO MUCH :(((

DANI ROJAS & SAM OBISANYA Ted Lasso (2020-2023)

So this tweet made a real good point and got me thinking about this scene:

As mentioned in their tweet, "you don't 'beg for mercy' for a job," and here he sounds so scared and desperate, like he's had to do this A LOT before with the directors and it's so... sad.

(more under the cut)

Before he finds out the truth about Eden, he believed they saved him from his former life and gave him new opportunities to continue his dreams, but do you think having to needlessly beg to keep your position as literally being the face of Eden out of fear you'll be replaced and thrown right back out to your old life is a so called dream come true?

Eden even made a trailer for a movie about his life to fame, showing how everyone was rejecting him as a person, which they definitely made it more simplified like I KNOW he was getting way worse treatment than what was shown.

My main point is that despite believing in Eden's motives (before knowing the truth), he still wasn't truly happy deep down. He was STILL getting rejected and slandered by society, and he knew that deep down, so it's not surprising how the possibility of him losing his job made him have a whole breakdown and do the things he did to try and cope.

He quite literally has no one to lean to and hasn't had anyone since showing up to Eden besides the directors (because he probably believed they were treating him fairly and with respect), but... yeah.

He wanted to make a difference, to give hope to hybrids, and he thought he was doing just that. Despite the way the directors and everyone thought of him, despite how alone he felt, he still thought he was achieving his dreams and sharing that onto others

and yet... he was being used this entire time. None of it was true, all the hard work and the things he went through was for nothing.

Everything that Eden has done, and he was the face of it all... it's just devastating.

I think about this card of Pudding every day of my life. Sanji behind her. Her personality being split into pieces around the frame. He eyes sparkling. Crying. Holding her memories tight. I am so not normal about her.

keeping watch

guess who is tempted to make a whole AU comic like this

man that splatfest was wack :/

You're telling me.

I saw a video about angel dust getting redeemed and going to heaven and husk being left behind all alone and now I'm spiralling.

yk how husk makes angel drinks before he even asks for it. what if one day husk makes angel a drink and when he sets it on the bar he remembers that angel isn't there anymore

what if he starts spiraling too and ends up ruining any progress he had because he's seeking comfort in gambling and alcohol.

his only way to see angel again is to get redeemed but he's too depressed to do that

he's happy for angel but now he has no one left

and everyone is celebrating angels redemption and he's standing at the bar sad and alone

Had to make this warm up drawing of John and Jack because I owe this to the many for my animation wip of these two.

Here's the wholesome father-son content y'all deserve while I work on the animation.

This is all because I wanted to draw Arven with a lil braid and it got out of control with me letting my kids be friends.

Some formal event and Arven is like "I'll bring this along because Penny will probably have one" and then they don't have one so he has to give them his. And he's like "ok so i have heard of a security blanket but not a security boa......".

sobbing at how happy they all look