#so yay?
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Can’t believe I almost got my ass kicked by Phantom Ganon...
#but honestly though the fight was pretty pathetic#c r i e s#i'm usually better...#but i didn't die!#so yay?#ocarina of time#legend of zelda#oot link#liam link#my art#i do NOT understand how colouring works in digital...#maybe i should go back to using watercolours
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Clone wars AU where the chips never got activated. In the aftermath of Palpatine’s death, the troopers are so horrified by the thought of Order 66 that they go hole up in Kamino. The Jedi let them do it for a few weeks while they’re unfortunately too busy cleaning up the mess, but then they just,,,,, camp outside their front door. For months. The clones will not outstubborn them this time, no sir. They brought umbrellas, food, books, and lots and lots of tea. So much tea. Soon they’re having little mini festival days waiting for the clones to come out already. It is very confusing for the vode.
On one hand, order 66. Chips. Horror. Their life is even more of a lie, they don't want to hurt the jedi, they're ashamed of essentially being a Trojan horse to the Jedi.
On the other hand, apparently the jedi are all idiots who camp out in the ever pouring rain and are they building a mini temple on our front porch??????
#there is a whole community of jedi who just collectively decide to hang out and chill on the clones' front porch#and sure#they spend quite a bit of time staring mournful at the door with the biggest akk-puppy eyes they can#but also it's a very nice community bonding exercise#so yay?#the jedi have never been closer#I'm debating about padme in all this#concidering the whole pregnant and newborn children thing#maybe she goes on maternity leave and is given the nicest tent whether she likes it or not?#low key want her to have the only tent in the entire weird community lol#star wars#star wars the clone wars#star wars au#sw tcw#jedi order#vode#clone troopers
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Fun fact, Nemu is a sadist
So you see Papa I know I’m gonna need screenshots for this one but HEAR ME OUT. I have actual arguments for this. There’s gonna be a lot of screenshots though, because I feel like in this case it’s a bit more overt once you look at it through this lens. This isn’t so much an essay as something similar to that time I went on a short rant about how Touka acts like a cat but here you go.
I’m gonna be very blunt. Nemu is a sadist. An extremely picky sadist that goes from mild to borderline disturbing, but a sadist nonetheless. Girlie has hella concerning moments. There’s the part about enjoying seeing people in pain, yes, particularly pain caused by her (directly or indirectly), but it’s more complex than that. It’s relishing one’s power over others. It’s enjoying when others are humiliated. Enjoying putting people in messed up positions and situations, watching or forcing them to hurt themselves or their loved ones, Sisyphean tasks, etc. There’s pretty terrifying potential to what she would be capable of if encouraged, considering her extensive historical and literary knowledge (looking at you, Madness of Hercules Shizuka. If you know you know).
As for the reasons, well, it makes sense with her background and as a coping mechanism, a way to vent. Sadism most often originates from feeling powerless in daily life, general powerlessness/lack of power even over the self, and repressed anger/frustration, so it tracks with what we know about Nemu. And yes, this happens since childhood. I’m gonna explain my arguments for the intense ‘Nemu is a sadist’ interpretation I have, don’t you worry, and there will be screenshots galore for once!
Let’s start with the mildest stuff. Which is actually Touka-related. Nemu really enjoys getting a reaction out of Touka, mainly earlier in their relationship (when she wasn’t Irreversibly Whipped)—though bits of it remain. This manifests in all of the teasing and the purposeful “humiliation” through things like games (the card game scene comes to mind). It’s easy too, because Touka is so extremely reactive. Here’s a very old example of this much milder manifestation, the card game scene in question:
Touka then starts crying (you can see the tears) because she’d mapped out the entire game and memorized Nemu’s cards and Nemu truly had no reason to pull this move. Leading to this response from Nemu:
Going to another side of things, the funny (/s) humiliation uwasa should not be overlooked. I know I haven’t posted my document where I hyperoveranalyze what each and every one of Nemu’s uwasa means (because it is incredibly disturbing in this raw form), HOWEVER, the Rumor of the Cemetery Banquet Feast is just one of multiple rumors that adds to this specific topic. And also uh the Fashion Monster. There are many, many things that I can gleam from the latter existing in the first place, but it’s described as:
“A Rumor that appears before confident, dressed up girls. It drags its victims into an alley, and if the Rumor isn’t told it looks stylish, it will strip off the victim’s clothes.”
Thank you Nemu, thank you so much. I don’t think I have to say anything for you to see why this applies to the sadist thing. As for the Rumor of the Cemetery Banquet Feast:
“My, have you heard? Who’d you hear it from? The Cemetery Banquet, and the rumor thereof! Fated rivals, arguing friends– if you want everyone to get along, then this Rumor is for you! Anyone who reads its invitation will be guided to the pre-banquet proving grounds. If– and only if– you can make the banquet lively, then you pass! And you’ll be invited up to Paradise, complete with kindly parting words. But if you plan to participate, you’d better take great care! If you fall short of proving yourself, you’ll literally fall into the underworld, to boot. It’s a rumor that ALL of the temple’s supporters are talking about. C’mon now, let’s liven things up!”
And the way the event goes is… Well.
The Rumor greets its “attendees” in a kind, heavenly voice, casually “forgives” (brushes off) their attempts to break its rules, and gives gentle encouragement (plus painfully-gentle critique) as they resort to performing various party tricks to satisfy it. Once they satisfy the Rumor by setting aside both their pride and their mutual animosities, it escorts them to the top of its pagoda in a giant, golden hand… where they literally pass on to the afterlife.
Thank you Nemu, thank you so much. I think you see where I’m coming from here. As for some of the other things I mentioned at the start, well, there’s this part of Arc 1 Chapter 8:
She truly does speak in the cultiest possible way. Her dialogue is far more cult leader-like than Alina's or Touka's. There's also this part:
Doesn’t she look quite pleased… These are pretty much one after another. But okay fine, here’s a couple from Chapter 9:
Really. Really look at this through the sadism lens. She also giggles while telling the others that they’ve reached their limit right after Kanagi and especially Tsuruno expresses feeling sick and heavy and in pain. Which… is a worse reaction than Touka’s, that’s for sure. What’s fascinating is that in her MGS, Nemu seems to care the most about the Feathers.
As for my final example, I’m just gonna leave a bunch of screenshots from Uwasa Tsuruno’s MGS here. Pay attention to the way Nemu speaks to Tsuruno and the words she chooses to use (it'd be a lot more obvious if Nemu was older than Tsuruno probably):
So in closing. Nemu Hiiragi is a sadist. Funny venting mechanism you’ve got right there, I sure hope it won’t lead to anything more questionable than you’ve already done. Good luck with your wife, Touka, have fun.
#magia record#nishiposting#essay#nemu hiiragi#uh#I guess??#yeah there's another mini rant thingy coming up#this time about possessiveness#so yay?
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first 2024 Night art she’s arson. ing. (what even is the word for that.) like she deserves
#warrior cats#wc#oc#art#my art#wc oc#oc art#night#when I draw this scene I struggle with the colours so much but??#I think I finally pulled it off how I saw it in my head???#so yay?#drew this in a half delirious state while sick. woke up this morning more sick. no memory of how I shaded like that.#I’m tired and my chest hurts and my throat is scratchy#I want to go back to 2022#or like.#2016.#idk.#no primary school was bad but 2020-2021 was covid. And 2023 was bad.#idk where I want to go but not here.#ok I shut up. I’m tired I’m sorry 🙃💀
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POV: Hard of hearing Steve who tries to read lips and Eddie notices something [idk if this has been done before but here ya go!]
Eddie sits comfortably on his bed, rambling off about some band. Steve sits by him, focusing on what Eddie is saying.
Eddie glances at him sometimes and notices the way Steve is eyeing his lips, and at first he thinks nothing of it, not when he’s too caught up in what he was saying, gesturing around a lot to help sort his words.
But when he does finally pay attention to the way Steve is eyeing him, he notices two things. Steve is heavily focused on his lips, and Steve has a frustrated look to his eyes.
Usually people would assume Steve wants a kiss or something of that matter, Eddie would’ve thought that if he didn’t notice the specific frustrated look in those doe eyes.
So, he stops talking and tilts his head. “Are you okay, Stevie?”
Steve looks at him, and sighs. “You talk so fast..” he nearly pouts, and Eddie bites back a smile.
“Should I slow down?”
Steve nods no. “No no, you can keep going, I just gotta focus.”
“Focus why?”
“So I can read what your saying?”
“What?” Eddie tilts his head again but more confused, almost like a dog.
“Well I mean, multiple concussions-“
“What?” Eddie repeats and he sits up straight. “You’ve had many concussions??”
Steve nods. “I guess so? Maybe like.. three though? It doesn’t matter, but I’m hard of hearing in both ears? So when you talk fast I can only catch a few things, but if I focus hard enough on reading your lips, I can understand you completely.”
Eddie stares at him, wide eyed and everything. Because he has never heard about Steve’s concussions. Nor did he realize Steve was hard of hearing.
Knowing that makes his chest feel slightly weighted.
“I’m sorry stevie..”
Steve looks confused this time. “Why?”
“I didn’t realize you couldn’t understand my fast talking- I’ll slow down if you want me too, seriously, I can slow down and you can understand better and-”
“Eds, seriously, it’s okay! You can talk as fast as you want, it’s cute, so it’s fine.”
Eddie starts to smile a little. “Did you just call me cute, Big boy?”
Steve sighs and playfully shoves Eddie. “You know what I mean, you dick.”
Eddie laughs and shakes his head. “Okay Stevie, but now I gotta start over with this rant, you know that right?”
Steve let’s out a Breathe. “Please do, because I didn’t catch what band you were talking about and I really want to know.”
Eddie laughs again and nods. “Okay big guy. so anyways-”
Eddie does end up slowing his talking pace a little bit, but only by a little. He really couldn’t help if he talked too fast, sometimes he just had word vomit and needs to speak faster than anyone in the room apparently.
Steve appreciate the way Eddie considered him, slowing his pace a little, gesturing more to help Steve rather than himself.
#steddie#stranger things#i should be writing my fic#but then I wrote this#so yay?#maybe#anyways#good morning steddie fans#I’m so tired AHH#anyways-#moving on#have a good day guys <3
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ive been playing dark souls for the first time lately
i just got to anor londo and i would say the game is a lot easier than i expected, but my bf insists the second half is a thousand times worse, so i guess i'll hold my tongue lol
#i think its definitely easier than elden ring SO FAR#it feels like playing ER helped me a bit with getting the hang of this one#last time i tried to play DS was before ER came out and i struggled so bad even in the starting areas#this time i didn't really struggle at all until after blighttown#so yay?
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ok i think the web aligned thing thats going to happen is just going to be an announcement from rq because they said themselves that they were web aligned. announcing something big maybe though. idk im too stupid and tired for these conspiracy theories i could barely survive when the mag 200 conspiracies were cropping up
#tma#the magnus archives#blue squawks#although my theory about jon and martin returning to their respective entities makes a bit of sense actually and is possible post mag 200#so yay?
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Me writing an epic face-off between Harry and Voldemort and my readers go-
*sigh*
#i mean I love the adoration the babies are getting#also the way the dark lord is getting side lined lol#i hve written it this way so far after all#i would be heart broken if harry's friends are thrown to the side the moment tall and dark shows up#so yay?#but ouch poor lv#tomarry fic#harry potter#harrymort#tom riddle#lvhp#ao3 fanfic#mishqut drabble
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i literally wrote 1300 words of fanfic tonight omg. inspiration juices FLOWING babey!
#to be fair....it's RPF so this part was actually largely just. narrating a real thing that happened#which feels a tiny bit like cheating because i wasn't coming up with plot or dialogue for most of those words#but hey! creative nonfiction is a real and ~valid~ thing too#and it is gonna be Part of a larger creative/clearly fictional story#so yay?#but yeah wow this was super fun#v speaks
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Me, staring at the 3k of Plot that infested my Tovar Yesr of Myth fic: ...What. Is happening. Where did this come from. Why. For the love of everything, why.
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Updates and things...
So! This is kinda just an update to let y’all know what’s going on with me, and with Candace’s story, in case I end up falling behind again in the near future.
First, I’m having some difficulty figuring out how to make the playable school work. My main difficulty is that I want the autonomous game actions to drive the story I write... but the playable school seems to not have any scheduled ‘break’ periods at all. Not even a lunch, so far as I can tell? So there is actually zero time during the school day where autonomous social interactions can take place. No social interactions take place at all unless I basically force them by telling Candace to go interact with someone socially.
But if I force all the social interactions, that’s really going to skew how the story goes, or else I just have to give up letting Candace the sim decide anything and figure out exactly what I want to have happen and then make it happen. Which is.. really not what I wanted to do. I’m actually contemplating the possibility of going back to a rabbit hole school because it at least makes social interaction at school a possibility, even if it happens off-screen.
My other options might be things like, only allowing one classroom to be unlocked during any given hour, so that more students will congregate in one area, and kinda-sorta interact while participating in similar activities together. Because what’s also happening, is that the teachers showed up to the school, and are being completely ignored by all the students. =\ I even tried to figure out how to make Candace sit in on one of their lectures or something but couldn’t find a way to direct her to do so.
So I’m kind of at an impasse with not being sure what to do or how to proceed. Given how it seems to work, I’m also thinking a smaller school would actually have worked better, but I’m already USING this school, so... I don’t really want to change it suddenly. Additionally, I’m still experiencing the weird thing where it always says school starts tomorrow, yet everyone goes to school anyways, and I’m -really- confused about why that’s happening, but I guess if everyone goes to school and everything anyways, then perhaps I can just ignore it?
Secondly, in my personal life... where I work, I work with a team of about 20 people. It used to be a bit larger, but many people quit in the recent past. Anyways, we found out today that tomorrow morning half the team (this is just our department, not the entire company) is getting laid off. In a way the layoffs are not surprising, due to various inklings, but it’s really awkward for me, because I’m one of only two people in my role (out of like 10) who are not getting laid off tomorrow morning. So I’ll keep my job... but I’m kind of wondering if any opportunity for advancement will even exist at this point, plus practically everyone else on my level is now leaving. It’s... *sigh* I have very conflicted feelings about all of this.
In addition to these, a friend is getting married the first week of next month, and I agreed to help out with some things, not realizing they’d do all their planning last moment, so that’s going to eat up some time and give me more stress as well. The convention I worked for for 15 years will also be taking place at the end of this month. And while I quit, a bunch of my friends and housemates are still volunteering there. And that just brings up a lot of things for me.
So basically, a bunch of stuff just happened this last week, and I’m not sure how to proceed with the gameplay of Candace’s story, and with everything going on, it may take me a bit to get it sorted out. Or, I may end up using that as my escape and you’ll have super regular updates. I really don’t know yet.
#nonsims#non sims#personal#kinda sims#updates#my son said I basically have survivor guilt#and that I shouldn't#because it's literally none of my doing#but I still feel a bit rotten about it#at the same time I feel very valued#I mean they're letting go of a couple of supervisors and keeping the two of us#I don't even know which supervisors yet#but at least it won't be either of my two favorites#so yay?#but also T_T#I am flailing in a million ways right now#The toxic people that were my reason for quitting the convention were fired from the role they were in before#but at least one of them is still there in another capacity#and the con does seem to be doing a bit better now#but at the same time I'm not asking to go back#they failed to do something about the toxic people for like four years#and didn't axe them until after I quit#so I feel a bit like they failed to listen to me#and failed to support me#and I don't want to go back unless they actually ask me to come back#ktar rants in tags#I'm full of nervous energy tonight
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I’ve more or less made peace with the fact that I just, simply, do not like the story pacing and writing choices for Golden Wildfire now that I’m almost at the end, but it still really irks me that the writers decided to completely ignore Cyril and all his significance in terms of worldbuilding, like, I get not making him playable, but it’s now really clear that the writers didn’t even bother to pay attention to him at all which I get he wasn’t that popular a character but still, if you’re going to ignore all the worldbuilding, both the telling and the showing, at least try to write a well-paced AU for your official spinoff game story.
#all the church-affiliated characters got shafted in terms of characterization#I think Catherine and maybe Seteth and Flayne were still in-character but mostly to play up the joke traits of each#which like I get bc Houses gives the player no incentive to use those characters in any of the routes but STILL#some of these writing choices are like burning water while trying to cook#like I get the lore's spotty at best but ignoring the stuff that's plainly laid out to see is just bad writing#I GUESS technically all the Deer characters are TECHNICALLY in character through so I can't complain there#it's just the rest of the writing that's such a nightmare these wonderful fun characters don't get to shine like they deserve#honestly I can't wait to be finished w/ GW so I can finally move onto SB#bc as much as I know I'm going to hate parts of that I've seen some spoilers and know I get to see some angst for a few of my faves#so yay?#*sigh*#I really do love FE and specifically this universe I really do I wouldn't complain so much if I didn't#it's just the writing is SO bad at times and the world and setting and characters all deserve so much better#oracle of lore
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[C-Doll Archive] //:_Hatsuchiri
"We meet again, Professor. Show me different sights again like you did last time."
#Did I forget to post her a few days ago when she was announced? Yes yes I did#At least we still have a week before we can begin pulling for her#So yay?#Also God she's so cool looking#I need her#hatsuchiri#neural cloud#project neural cloud#pnc#girls' frontline#gfl#anime games#gacha games#anime diver#is that a tag?
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the dallas stars gotta have either the best luck in the world or the worst
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Not enjoying this inning very much.
#but there’s proto-soup on the stove#and in an hour there will be actual soup#so yay?#baseball stuffs#sf giants#giants lb
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Ah, it’s so frustrating, but Alien story is coming out later, upcoming week. We have a medical emergency in my immediate family and I was too distraught to finish the next chapter completely (’:
Maybe it’s a curse lol, it just doesn’t want me to post regularly OTL
I will try to correct what I have for this Monday and then get back to finishing the next chapter, sorry for the delay!
#Admin#Also#it is lowkey serious so if you see my stepping away for a bit then I hope you understand#but also two chapters next week#so yay?
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