to no one's surprise i ended up liking the character struggling with her own fictionality

[private please, if thats alright] i used to follow you for your ai stuff back in 2021/22 when things were first kicking off (actually i thought you'd quit because of all the scandal lol) and the models and output were a lot 'sloppier' and kinda illegible but as far as i can see the stuff you're working on now is clearer looking and more coherent, so i was wondering - do you have any thoughts on the 'aesthetics' of AI and what specifically brings it unique merits and strengths as an art tool? for example i personally find a lot of modern ai art to be boring and soulless looking because it has neither stylistic interest (compared to the blatant 'inhumanity' of older models) nor a human person making base-to-base decisions about what it looks like, but i also havent been really paying too much attention to the AI scene except when it comes up in images searches. also, sorry if its not a question you want to answer, but do you do any more traditional styles of art as well? i find my art sensibilities are really effected by the mediums i work with so i would love to know if you have any similar experiences wrt ai and non ai works. thank you!

this is a side account so i can't answer privately, but, that being said;

i actually agree! for general purpose arting i preferred the secret horses style of total illegibility, and my main goal in my secret projects is to be able to reorganize around that style but with sharper, crisper lines and higher resolutions. part of why the whole "secret horses" style of ai medium fell through the cracks was because a: diffusion models were significantly faster and b: diffusion models scale upwards significantly better - they can produce higher resolutions and perform upscaling, which CLIP + VQGAN (the old method that made all the jank we all used to love) can't really do.

i think people whose sole interest in ai is making shitty advertisement images, or giant anime boobs, or some other lowest common denomenator slop, like... okay. you do you, the saying is "90% of everything is shit" for a reason, but obviously i think that's incredibly boring. i think the reason we see a lot of it is because a: the Good Artists who use AI are still effectively social pariahs, particularly on twitter and tumblr, just via dint of their medium, and b: ai puts art making in the hands of EVERYONE and it turns out not everyone has good taste (see: 90% of everything is shit), so you just see a lot more shit by volume.

anyway in terms of "traditional art" i am an author (READ CHUM) and a bassist, although i haven't been in a band in many years as my arthritis prevents me from playing for very long or very well anymore. if you mean traditional art as in like... paint and easel, or pen and paper, the answer is no. i've never had the ability to comfortably grasp anything with my hands even before the arthritis happened and now i lack not only the fine motor skills for it but also the pain threshold. i do like legos though, and i'd love to start making lego dioramas.

thanks for asking :)

Numbers 1, 4, 28, and 38 for Fen. and for yourself, E ?

OMGGGG FEN. i wrote a lot for these so ill put it under a cut ( :

1: "What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?" Contrary to fen's very B| disposition, i think fen would literally explode if not working towards something. she might look like shes sitting around doing nothing sometimes but her mind is actually just clearing itself to try and route a solution to some problem one of her projects has hit. This is actually something thats very important about her in canon; she she feels something is a waste of time or worthless she won't do it even if recommended to her by a trustworthy source or something that sounds like it would literally solve all problems. i think even though she has self esteem issues she always trusts her perception on the individual worth of doing things. (being abit vague since this is spoileryyy lol)

4: "How easy is it to earn their trust?" Fen honestly has a super jank perception of trust. I dont think she views it as a "thing" you can assign to someone like the rest of us. I think she's immune to that boy-who-cried-wolf mentality because even if someone lied to her 15000 times, she still knows there's a CHANCE theyre telling the truth and assesses what was said accordingly. She always judges someones words on a very individual basis and weighs the probable truth behind them in accordance to what she knows. If she wasnt able to come to a conclusion, she'd probably bluntly ask you questions about whatever you said to get more information and see where youre coming from/what you meant or to just gather more information in the first place, which she then weighs against what she knows and may lead to MORE questions, and she does this until the person shes talking to gets pissed off and leaves (to which she is like Ok whatever B|), or she finally comes to a conclusion regarding its validity. This throws off many-a lie sent her way (read: vel lmfao). i don't think the number of questions she'd ask would change whether she was talking to a stranger or her best friend, but their tolerance for her questions and ability to communicate ideas in a way she best understands would and would thus shorten the interaction by a lot. Though if someone like nymt told her something and to just 'trust her' on it, i do think she's one of the few people fen would just do as such, but even though its her bestie it would feel very wrong and alien to not be in control/understand whats going on, and i don't think nymt would do that to her. even just a brief "i need you to trust me on x its about y and i cant tell you the specifics until z" would feel better because she understands what it vaguely relates to, that theres a REASON for her not knowing and time when she can expect to have this gap in knowledge filled in. trust in the "friendship" was is a lot harder to explain since i the way fen thinks doesnt enable her to 'distrust' anyone like most people would? Like obviously if she was deeply wronged by someone (like druid) she would distrust them, but i think that has more to do wit that fact that shes the one person to truly scare her and hurt her in unimaginable ways then regarding the fact druid went bad on their deal. If it was just the deal thing, fen would be sour and short regarding her but she'd still weigh what was said to her normally. Friendship-wise, i'd read E, the question directed toward me and if i'd be friends with fen. I wrote that part before this one and it explains how fen approaches friendship LMAO.

28: "Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth?" Unpleasant truth always. Fen generally sees a lot of the stuff people would lie about to be not a big deal (ex. to spare her feelings, theyre embarrassed or uncomfortable, etc). It just annoys and confuses her to have had the Wrong Information about something the whole time and she struggles to see why they would lie in the first place. I think fen only lies like once in the story and thats about her wing; otherwise shes completely honest even if it makes her come across as brash or tonally inappropriate for the situation (half the time she doesnt even notice this is how shes being perceived LMAO). fen is an outcast in feyton, but the people there dont like. go out of their way to bully her or anything. Maybe when she was a kid yea that thats because she was in 2nd grade and children can be very mean. shes an adult now and mostly, people's othering of her is very lowkey and insidious. Like pitying glances or using a softer tone with her or something. Fen isnt very socially conscious but he super hard not to notice when shes being treated like a person with nymt and vel and later when she becomes WM and everyone sees her as a respectable and powerful figure, compared to how most other people are so soft and 'nice' with her. I think now that shes an adult she appreciates when children just say what theyre thinking no matter how brash and mean it comes across as opposed to the placating pity everyone else throws her way. she feels more like an equal when kids do that (trusting her with their honest thoughts) which is ironic, since theyre children and being treated like a child is exactly what most adults treat her like. Its hard for her to win, hence why she isolates herself. i think this babying has warped her views on a lot of things a fair bit. she has like no respect for her science and sees it more as a hobby as opposed to like. super impressive groundbreaking physics due to people treating her as a child who always needs help or an eye on her, but also feels super defensive when people imply she cant do something and will immediately turn to it so solve whatever problem people think she cant solve. it also messes with her understanding of compassion as well. clara is a lot like a parental figure to her who took over after her dad died, but fen sometimes gets frustrated by her worrying for her safety since her "are you sure you can handle going mining in that cave?" sounds a lot like the way people talk down and underestimate her in that guise-of-compassion voice. though i dont think clara is perfect as well and certainly sometimes does think fen is genuinely incapable of doing things most fairies can do due to her lack of flight and magic, but she does mean well, and both do care about each other.

38: "What memory do they revisit the most often?" any memories with her dad. There's no specific memory shes a big fan of with anyone, moreso thinking of her positive interactions with others and how she appreciates those people being around her still. But she can go hang out with nymt still and appreciate her company, whereas she cant do that with her dad. in a negative note, she often revisits the night she met the druid. she revisits this one a lot more than the nicer ones, seeing as her big rainbow wing is always behind her. and for meeee, E: "Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?" Fen honestly has the potential to get along well with anyone. so long as you respect her and her low social battery and arent mean or condescending towards her i think she'd let you hang around. she pretty passive when it comes to making friends with people so if you tried hard enough you could insert yourself into her life with little effort (read: VEL LOL). I would totally be besties with fen just on principle, but i also think the way she goes about her relationships and her unbelievably low-maintenance chill-vibes makes for an excellent friend. i don't think you'd have to worry about weirding her out in any way, nor would she spring some bullshit on you out of nowhere. Her bluntness ensures that if she had a problem you'd be the first to hear about it, and fen is always down to try and fix problems in your relationship if you are. Plus a lot of this weird understanding of common concepts like trust and friendship and all this is based a lot on how i commonly approach these ideas (though fen is them taken to a bit more of an extreme) so i think wed get along just by being on similar brainwaves.

remember when i said id upload the rest of the ssau beta designs i coould remember where they were. remember when i said that literal months ago. uhhh

ohhhgh i threw this design out like almost immediately.... i have no clue what i was going for w the shoulder pads tbh, i dont draw a folded up scarf like that (i think. i wouldnt now)

also evan & ds at the top, and also kirby for??? some reason?????? whats he doin here

another page had basically nothing relevant i just liked this one

i may actually have been trying to go for a folded scarf oh no

(not sure whats going on in the bottom right either but just focus on silly lumis and also kirby)

evan...... i was limited in my color choice i would not have chosen that yellow naturally

my concept for him was that toxic positivity is basically his religion... plus other things that are BIG spoilers but essentially hes still a dragon master, but here since he has a lot more access to darkness mir kinda morphs into a more twisted looking onyx dragon... he still tries to be, yknow, Mir, but hes ride or die for evan and ride means losing urself at least partially to mass amounts of darkness yknow. i know that has almost nothing to do w the design and thats bc i dont think i put much thought into it beyond cool jacket

also no i have NO clue what i was going for w the fishnets ik i just wanted to put smthn on his legs but why fishnets im just as confused help???????? (EDIT ON SECOND THOUGHT that may have been my attempt at drawing a texture that i... could have made w cross hatching but didnt???? so its not actually fish nets?????? or it might be and im misremembering??????? help)

(also fun cameo of my earliest design for lucid lol)

ok that side profile there has always stood out in my brain and looking at it again i understand why... the Energy.... the wind maybe... where did it come from how did i make that hello???????

idk whats happening in any of the other doodles

yis papa... im aware that one looks jank as hell but i dont think i cared. or it was on purpose???? i Do Not Know. also lmao @ low standards

(I KEEP NOT NOTICING GIANT FUCKING SPOILERS IN IMAGES anyway.)

i think the extent of cygnus's role here was to be the phanaria kid and also eight. that was... it. i will say the her trying on the gloves is adorable and i also like the flower dress!! i can tell why i didnt wanna color that though lmaoooo

idk either

THESE designs though i actually have something to say!!! at least on arans end, merc i mostly just wanted to make more... queen-ly, no comment on how well that went (shes wearing tights its not colored in but i prommy theres tights)

aran though!! i based her armor on the temple of time guardians bc. well thats spoilers but i took notes from that book. i think it was actually in the last post too, that she also has a helmet and when she has it on the ponytail looks like the lil plume of smoke they have n all... yeah

arans closer to the more serious self she was originally since she never lost her memories, not like stone cold (i doubt aran ever was That cold if she naturally turned into a more jovial her) but still more serious.

in the story they have... kind of a fraught relationship, on the same side but for very conflicting reasons and kind of resent each other... but like maybe..... yknow? yknow????? i also just like the energy of this one

maybe ending off on one u have essentially nothing to say abt is passe but hey!! i like the earrings w the chain thing. shes so fashion

maybe one day ill stop saying ill write ssau one day and actually write it lol

Oh yeah, its 4:30am alright

Listen kid, there's two ways to live ya life. You either post on your sky blog at 10pm because youre going to bed at 12am, or you post at demon hours because you decided it was your night to experience joy. I decided it was my night to draw

I've had big Fairune brain the past few days because I've been needing to finish the collection and I finally did. I found out there's a new one coming out this year and got excited until i saw it looks more like their games they made after Fairune which does not spark joy. I rememered having seen their game Kamiko on sale forever ago and liking the title screen art and then immediately nope'ing out when I saw what the game looked like. The old artist must've left or taken a dark path at some point because the Fairune 1 and 2 art is really really good, but then for Kamiko, Transiruby, and their slow life RPG thing I cant remember the name of, they switched to this generic early kickstarter era indie pixel art thing where the sprites legs are one pixel wide and they dont have enough frames of animation for how detailed they are and its just not great. Regardless, Kamiko is on sale on switch for $1.99 right now and I had 192 gold coins, so I bought it for 7 cents. I havent played much but uh, I wish that new Fairune was like the old ones lets just say that

I'm beginning to absolutely fucking love the PC88. The games EGG Console put out are all so fucked and jank but they arent unfun to play like bad NES or Genesis games. Silpheed is legitimately good, I'm talking more about Hydlide and Relics. I mention this because what made me play Fairune was that Hydlide wasnt on the switch lol. But I also just watched a video on Xanadu and like man. Like I dont think games should be that anti-player but literally zero games are released today that have that energy. Like imagine if the Marvelous guys were still making games like Chulip and Moon. Where theyre unbelievably charming and deep but they also fucking hate you and if you dont know all the enemies despawn if you kill them 3 times the game becomes incompletable. I guess Dark Souls 2 was like that

Anyways its my partners birthday tomorrow (cuz I havent slept yet tomorrow means friday) and were going to da zoo baybee, during a massive covid surge baybee, with non refundable tickets and N95s in our hands baybeeee. The event were going to starts late tho so I'll be fine on sleep. Lately I've been being a better employee and getting into work earlier, and actually doing my job for 7 hours than leaving and going to bed by 3am at the latest. Thats why most of my posts have been baffling or short, this shit sucks man. No time for Barony hat update. But I'm not working any extra days this weekend so i'm gonna eat all the hats that game has to offer soon

Peace and Long Life

After I saw your studying set up post I now have a pico of my own. really helps alot with studying lol. (I have 2 monitors one in landscape and the other portrait so thats why its jank like that)

LMAO im really glad its helping you !!! I shrimply. Love that little orange guy so much i turned him into 1000 discord emojies. Also hi looks like we’re both in the fns server 👀

If gendered pronouns weren’t a thing in our culture, I wouldn’t care about whether people used certain pronouns for me. And if our culture didn’t have a binary gender system, or use certain terms to mean male or female, I wouldn’t care whether I was called sir or ma’am because it wouldn’t mean anything. I also wouldn’t care about the length of my hair if our culture didn’t imbue it with a gendered connotation. So if our society didn’t have a binary gender construct, I wouldn’t have social dysphoria.

But I would still feel like my body is wrong and it shouldn’t look this way, and that has nothing to do with whether I’d have dysphoria if people called me he/him or she/her. I’d still have physical dysphoria even if I were living alone and didn’t know why I wasn’t comfortable with my body. There’s just a mismatch there and the root is probably biological but nobody really knows yet.

And that’s my personal feelings about the gender-is-a-social-construct thing.

yeah i feel you on the first bit, i think most if not all social dysphoria can be chalked up to the socially constructed elements of gender.  i can see an argument made that its not 100% but also, as you say, certain words and hair styles etc are gendered - and those things arent gendered in nature.  so it wouldnt make sense that those things could possibly induce gd if that societal construction didnt exist?

but as you say the physical aspect isnt contructed socially...... like yeah many “gendered” physical traits exist on both ends of the gender spectrum (strong jaw line, narrow hips, etc) but physical gender dysphoria..... exists, lol.  the mismatch exists.  my chest causes me grief regardless of what outside viewers gender it as.  would my jawline?  idk.  my jaw is set kinda janked anyway so thats be hard to tell even if the social/bio divide was easier to pry apart lmao but the idea its not biological at all is just completely incongurent with my experience

i feel like theres a discussion to be had here about how different trans experiences - some only having social dysphoria, some no dysphoria at all - could be influencing this but id rather not go there bc that side of tumblr is incredibly volitile lol.  but honestly im there with you, even tho i cant really imagine a world where words like sir & ma’am werent gendered, thinking abt it logically i think id feel the same