#so here we are i guess! lmfao
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ava teasing bea about her short haircut growing too long
[turned out silly! god bless]
//
beatrice wanders out of your bedroom around 11, hums in thanks when you get up from the couch where you had been reading to fix her a cup of coffee. she had been up early to surf, like usual, then back to sleep after you had laughed at her drooping eyelids and kissed her soundly after she'd showered. it's not new, not really, but the war is finally over and it feels like a series of small miracles: to sit on the couch as the day warms; to watch the sun float to the middle of the sky after the marine layer burns off; for beatrice to sleep without nightmares, to curl up into your side with her cup of coffee and kiss your shoulder. things are quiet, quieter than they've ever been since you'd had a piece of metal shoved in your back and life roaring through your veins; since you had kissed beatrice, sure you were going to die; since she had kissed you through tears when you finally made it back.
it's normal, these days, for her to nap: even though she won't fully admit it, she's catching up on, like, a whole lifetime's worth of rest, you're pretty sure. and a whole lifetime's worth of pleasure too, which you are all too eager to experience with her: the smell of peonies in the spring, the burst of taste from the plucots from the farmer's market, the feel of her hand buried deep inside you. and then rest — a pleasure borne of safety, of comfort, of finally, finally, not feeling like she's going to die. like, in some way, she deserves to.
she sighs into your neck and you kiss the top of her head, settle your fingers there. 'your hair is getting long.'
she huffs, quietly and mostly for show, which makes you smile. she sits up and rearranges her limbs, still casual, still soft and unassuming in her boxers and her favorite hoodie. 'i know.'
'you growing it out?' she's actively pouting about it, but fun to ask anyway, just to see her frown sharpen.
'ugh. no.'
'so you're just... vibing with this? it's, like, very 2010 justin bieber. i'm into it, though, don't worry.'
it adds a blush to her pout, which is delightful. 'horrible.'
'mmm. harry styles, original the x factor audition? more british, just for you.'
'ava.'
you laugh.
'you think you're very funny, don't you?'
'i'm, like, the funniest person i know.'
'that's okay,' beatrice says, a little smile sneaking its way into the corners of her mouth — delighted enough to make you suspicious. you narrow your eyes just in time for her to say, completely seriously, 'because, you know, looks aren't everything.'
'wow.' you clutch a hand to your chest. 'this is a worse pain than any injury i've ever had. a blow to my soul, beatrice. my very soul.'
it's worth it all, just for her silly laugh, for the terrible wink she offers you, for her apology in the form of a forehead kiss, gentle and reverent. 'i don't think that's true.'
'obviously not,' you say. 'and, also, i know it's a lie. i'm hot as hell. actually, hotter. i would know.'
she sighs, exasperated and overwhelmingly fond.
you brush back bangs that fall into her eyes. 'what's up, then?'
'i —' she pauses, fiddles with the chain around her neck, picks at her fingernails until you take her hand and squeeze. 'i don't know. ptsd and executive dysfunction?'
'ahh. so, super fun in your head lately, huh?'
'i—i've told you,' she says, a little hesitant.
'oh, babe,' you say, scoot closer to her and offer your hands. 'i know. and i'm sorry. you know i understand.'
she nods.
'can i help? i can schedule an appointment with your barber; we can make a little evening of it, if you want. or we can totally just come back here after. you know i'm, like, a sucker for a fresh fade.'
she grants you a gentle smile, a real one, a little indulgent and just for you. 'i do know that.' she squeezes your hand. 'our sisters asked if they might come over later, actually. so, if you could help me make the appointment for late afternoon, then maybe we can have a pizza night afterward, or something.'
never in your wildest dreams a few years ago would you have dreamt of having a pizza night with a bunch of nuns, or ex-nuns — one of whom is your hot butch partner, the rest of whom are your family — but, 'fuck yeah. that sounds awesome.'
beatrice nods, straightening and focusing seriously. you hide a smile. 'okay, i can do it. make the appointment.'
'you can.' you rub her back. 'or i can.'
she gets out her phone, opens her texts. there are... a lot of unopened messages, and you make a mental note to go through them with her tomorrow, but she scrolls to her barber's contact and sends off an extremely polite and perfectly punctuated text, and, like, god, you love her.
'okay, well, can we, like, make a music video or something with this hair before we go or something?'
'no.'
you scramble to follow when she stands up — lithe and graceful and powerful; you're still undeterred. 'what about a video in the car? taylor swift gay love interest?'
'oh, and you're taylor swift in this scenario?'
'you love her. i know it. speak now is like your favorite album of all time.'
'it certainly isn't.'
you follow her into your bedroom, just for fun, and nod when she tells you that her barber is available in an hour.
'hmm. 1989?'
she gives you a muffled sigh from the closet as you flop back onto the bed, and you smile up at the ceiling. her favorite taylor swift album is red, and you know it for a fact, but that's okay; you'll let her keep her silly secrets for now.
she emerges in a men's sage green linen co-ord set, slouchy and perfect, and pristine white sneakers, and holds out her hand. 'lunch?'
you pop up and lace your fingers with hers.
/
beatrice orders six pizzas, all different kinds from the sourdough pizzeria nearby, which you try to tell her is too many, but she's still a little anxious about things so you let her have it; you can eat leftovers and force camila and yasmine to bring some back to mother superion anyway. beatrice also sets the table outside, which is one hundred percent ridiculous, but it's cute so you just tell her it looks nice and put the whole stack of pizza boxes in the middle. there's a whoosh and sulfur and then mary, lilith, camila, and yasmin are dusting themselves off in your living room. you hug them all tight, compliment mary's freshly done braids and camila's t-shirt, yasmine's new earrings. you make it a point to annoy lilith with as many pick up lines as possible until she just walks away from you to skulk around on the patio while you get everyone wine or beer, but she takes the glass of a beautiful chardonnay she and beatrice like with a small, genuine smile.
'your hair looks nice, beatrice,' camila says, digging into her slice of pizza once you're all sitting around the table.
beatrice steels herself for a moment, and you all know she's still working through everything: a lifetime of trauma, from her parents, the church, a holy war. 'thank you,' she says, soft and sure, and you share a smile with camila.
'yes,' lilith says, and beatrice is mid-eyeroll when lilith contines: 'very love island boy.'
there's a brief pause and then mary is delightedly and loudly laughing, beatrice is blushing up to her ears, and it doesn't take long until the entire table dissolves into giggles.
'oh my god,' camila says, 'let's have a love island party!'
'it is summer,' yasmine agrees.
'i'm ordering you a waterbottle, right now,' mary says, phone in hand.
beatrice groans and looks to you, exasperated and adorable. 'better than justin bieber, at least.'
you grin, put your hand on the back of her neck, run your fingers along the grain of her buzzed hair until it fades neatly into the short top, where it's always inevitably, and fashionably, a little messy. 'i'd crack on and then couple up with you every trip to the firepit, if that's what you're asking.'
'i'm leaving,' she says. 'i'm on a journey of self-discovery, and you're all the worst,' but it's all posturing: she laughs and eats her pizza and is apparently swayed into actually having a love island party next weekend by your promise of wearing your tiniest bikini for it.
a few days later, a package does arrive on your front porch, and you almost snort seltzer through your nose laughing so hard when beatrice opens it to find a water bottle with her name on it in bright pink, curly font.
#wn#wn fic#avatrice#avatrice fic#so here we are i guess! lmfao#butch bea 🥺🫡#finally... the love island boy drag#INSULT not drag eg a drag slow but that’s also fun#iykyk
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uhmmmmmmmmmmm
#osc#pipe bomb lots#lots pipe bomb#love of the s*n#malueslots#will wood#i guess. again#shitpost#yea so#how do i. what#anyways last will wood related pipebomb shitpost i have. yea i wont be posting any more i dont think#i actually don t know why i made this. LMFAO#never thought id be drawin g a pipe bomb with a suit but here we are! what#i am so confuesd /j
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Why the FUCK are Southerners under the impression they're even welcomed on the internet ANYMORE????? Sorry but this is genuinely fucking rancid I feel fucking unsafe knowing that my spaces are being invaded by you fucking people. Fucking disgusting that it's 2024 and we can't hold piece of shit racists and Confederate nazis accountable for literal fucking war crimes and slavery anymore.
hey man. whats going on. this is such a weird thing to say to someone else on the internet life would be so beautiful if you stepped outside and talked to a real person for once. btw did you know the south is mostly full of poor people and black people and acting as if being from a place makes a person inherently a bigot is very weird almost as if it's pushing a classist narrative. Thats so wacky lol
#sorry i got this out on discord#but other parts of america love to pin ALLLL of their bigotry and crimes on the south. racism misogyny homophobia etc#so they dont have to reflect on themselves and do introspection as to what theyre doing wrong. bc make no mistake its rampant other places#<- europe does this with america too. lol. lmfao#but other places love to act like they're educating or modernizing or fixing the south when they just. want to turn it into where they#came from. when they move here and buy up all the cheap land and skyrocket prices and chop down huge swathes of forest#to build solar panels for 'eco friendly energy' despite THOUSANDS of acres of wood lost.#and its so weird that a lot of these attitudes about being better than them inherently and being lesser human beings are pushed in every ot#er area of the country. its almost as if its long rooted classism and racism#there are queer people living in the south. trans people. people of color. you cant just tell us all to leave to be redeemed#we deserve to live safe lives AND not have to leave behind everything we've ever known. what if we dont have the money??#but i guess you dont care abt that. lol. Lmfao#jamies bad posts#jamie answers asks#hate anon#jamies serious posts
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HELP. On campus rn. On break and headed back to class. A cute guy I didn’t recognize opened the door for me and I wondered why I didn’t recognize him from class and we had SMILEY EYE CONTACT IN THE DOORWAY. and that distracted me so much that I didn’t realize that I was walking into entirely the wrong classroom. He and I are not, in fact, in the same class. I was on the wrong floor of the building entirely. Fml.
#shoutout to cute guy for letting me into the wrong class dkkskdkdkfkd he didn’t question it#random person walking into his class??? he’s here for it i guess lmfao#genuinely so sad about this actually though#we had a MOMENT. because I did something STUPID. but it’s GONE NOW AND IM NEVER GONNA SEE HIM AGAIN.#discord emoji :idontthink:
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THE PROTOTYPE MOE............... 👁️👁️
#feh#WAAUGHGHH THEY'RE SO CUTE AND THEY ARE ACTUALLY SO GENDER HERE...... so proud of them 🫡#LOOOOOVE the slightest characterization of them being smug. so true and so real#it really does fill me w SO much joy though seeing the guy my guy is based off of.... literal prototype guy#also the. implication. you can summon more summoners. that seems like it'd be against the rules LMFAOOO#i also just really love the idea of kiran is just the guy we ended up following canon-wise.#beyond that there is a whole summonerverse.........#i MEAN that has ALWAYS been a part of the lore i guess LMFAO BUT LIKE. IT'S SO HARD TO KEEP TRACK TBH#like how is it we ended up w lif who ended up w A You (from an AU in the literal sense)#and then there's like one million other guys out there. who aren't you.#were all of those guys important to lif??????? does it just change based on the player's personal hc actually??????#like alfonse is just a blorbo in law to my sister. sometimes our tastes overlap and sometimes they don't LMFAO#actually so many questions. does every fe multiverse have a lif? surely not? does feh have canon events like in spiderverse LMFAOOOO#I NEED TO KNOW. AM I READING INTO THIS TOO MUCH??????????#WAIT NO OBVIOUSLY NOT ACTUALLY. WE LITERALLY LIVE IN THE UNIVERSE WHERE ALFPNSE DOESN'T GO LIF MODE#WHY AM I ASKING STUPID QUESTIONS ⁉️‼️⁉️‼️⁉️‼️⁉️‼️⁉️‼️⁉️‼️⁉️⁉️#literally i have one braincell and he is fighting for his fuckinh life at all hours of the day.#moe tag
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yet another writing ask: 23 and 32 if you would like to <3
Thank you 🙇🙇
23. Dialogue or description? Why is the other one so hard?
GOD. Dialogue is so hard. I get soooo stressed in rpf bc I often want or am including multi-lingual players who do not speak like a generic Californian, and I get real in my head about like...capturing that authentically and sensitively. Like description is easier to deploy meaningfully and if I fuck it up, I find that way more forgivable in myself than like writing a multilingual player and accidentally leaning into stereotypes about speech patterns or ways of expression that aren't True To Nature. and like to be clear this is specifically about non-Canadian/American players, like if I fuck up some American NCAA white jock who gives a shit but if I leaned to stereotypes about like how idk Russians speak, I would just die. and I have done this!!! I look back at some of my old sidgeno works and I'm like this is unforgiveable lol.
I'm poking at a concept with Radim Šimek, who is from Czechia, and I'm stressing sooo bad about his speech patterns and how he expresses himself in interviews vs teammates, particularly after I noticed how obvious it is that he learned in English in the Bay Area, which is not like...a particularly unique version of English, but I've noticed that sometimes the way Bay Area ppl inflect words is absolutely deranged. and like how does that affect how you express yourself yk, and like I'm basing all of this off getting lectured for being lazy in five years of French classes in high school and college, which is not even remotely the same thing
Also. At least once per fic, I have to go through a delete an instance of "hella". That man from Ontario would not fucking say "hella".
32. Do you have a word/expression that you always use in your writing?
Well I absolutely overuse "like" in speech which is what happens when you grow up in California and write primarily in a fandom of white jocks. Also tend to use "sounding strangled" with regularity, but I have never been able to figure out how to execute that specific emotion any other way (I have not tried very hard)
Thank you!!!
#i was not blessed with the polyglot gene.#i was so bad at tests in arabic class that my professor eventually adapted the weekly quizzes#FOR ME SPECIFICALLY so i could just scrape through the class. and then we did the final exam and i BOMBED IT so he gave me#like MASS amounts of extra credit for all the cultural fluency stuff we did. bc i was very good at the engaging with arabic cultures#stuff when it was in english and like a huge part of the class for him was getting all these like affluent liberal arts school kids#who came of age during the iraq war to have broader view of the middle east#he was like you try so fucking hard. i have watched you take pages and pages of notes in class. i have watched you#work studiously in the workbook. but you're so bad at the language. how can someone applying themselves that hard be so bad at it#i'm giving you like 50pts in extra credit on the cultural stuff to make up for it but like. keep trying i guess?#and he gave me a solid B- lmfao he really wanted me to pass#anyway tl;dr on these tags i am not multilingual bc i am so stupid. and that affects how i write ESL/ELL characters. bc i worry so much#i mean maybe the lesson here is apply the facial expressions my french professor would make when i start stringing together sentences#haphazardly and whimsically and eventually getting what i meant across but not in a way that really sparked joy for a parisian yk#cage replies#selkiefinalist
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New tiny baby time!! This is Strawberry Starburst, a male snow-morph corn snake!
#corn snake#snake#cute snakes#he's SO TINY#I literally cannot believe that Noodle was ever this small#i walked into repticon not intending to buy another animal but like#here we are I guess lmfao#he has been renamed#he is SO pink#the exact shade of a strawberry starburst
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revenge of the island where everything’s the same except scott chooses to vote out zoey instead of mike to gain the upper hand or smth
the catch is that previously-dormant-since-leaving-juvie mal ends up fronting after, similar to how zoey invoked commando zoey, bc he’s the Protector of the system--or maybe he and mike end up co-hosting??? and it turns into a push-pull thing between them and scott bc mike and scott are already dealing with their issues; meanwhile mal’s as morally gray as the next person and although he’s royally ticked off at scott for messing with mike and threatening the system, he also can’t help but be impressed at how utterly slippery scott is--and ofc tries to exploit that slipperiness and use it against scott. while scott’s sorta confused bc ‘okay this guy isn’t svetlana or chester or manitoba or vito, so who is he??’ but also he’s like ‘wow a worthy opponent?? hell yeah!’ and there’s def some underlying tension reaching its peak that gets cut off when scott gets eliminated following canon events (so mike gets eliminated like zoey was btw) bc duh they’re both trying to beat each other for (mostly) different reasons and with questionable morales within a show where everyone’s pitted against each other, ofc there’s gonna be a tension plus mal kinda doesn’t like scott for what he did lmao (v understandable and valid)
and then they meet again in all-stars and that tension rekindles...among other things :)
somewhere along the way (maybe in a snippet of a scene before scott’s elimination or during all-stars or in the span of time between their eliminations and roti’s finale) scott does the equivalent of apologizing for threatening the system, mainly bc mal would have thrown him without ado straight into fang’s jaws if he didn’t own up to it, but also after being in mal’s (and mike’s) presence for as long as he was, scott genuinely starts to feel bad--not for kicking out all those ppl prior, including zoey, but of how he went abt hurting mike and the rest of the system--mal was just that push he needed to own up to his misdeed. anyway after that, mal doesn’t want to forgive or see scott in a more ‘positive’ light after that happens, but this time mike, the more forgiving one out of them all, is the one being the push to get the alters to try to forgive scott, and after that, as they say, it’s history :D
no but, the urge to write this as a oneshot-type fic set during revenge of the island that acts as a “prologue” for the next multichaptered fic set during all-stars-
it’d give an excuse to portray scott as the villain he deserves to be in all-stars while also warring with his emotions bc I can bet that homeboy has never had a crush, fell in love, or dated anyone before. (plus hopefully I can write mike’s system (namely mal) in a better way than fresh did, and I can touch upon his past--like how he ended up in juvie--and his relations with other characters, like duncan and zoey and cam.)
swear I’ll elaborate more on this when I don’t have a project due within a day and when I’m not in a motivation slump lmfao
#total drama#td mike#td scott#td mal#total drama revenge of the island#total drama all stars#wow i finally have a potential roti fic idea?? even if its just a oneshot??#i just think it's funny to join manitoba (who licks dirt) with scott (who eats dirt)#and all of a sudden i involve the rest of the system too lmfao#plus i've seen a couple of mike & scott + mal & scott content which has been interesting to say the least#so voila--here we are!#i hope i didn't mess up any of the did terms or the way i described them#if so im truly so so sorry that wasn't my intention and pls lmk which ones i did so i can correct them#the main reason im so hesitant on writing roti and all-stars fics is bc of possibly portraying mike's system not so greatly#i mean i know ppl with did and they've advised me on how to write characters with did#but i guess its just a constant worry that i'll fuck it up somehow lmao#anyway#and no there's no bully & victim relationship here ew#whatever scott and mike (plus his alters) have only start to grow and be acknowledged on mike's end after the apology#mal takes the longest to warm up to scott but ironically he's also the one to be protective after the apology#like fang's around? no sweat i'll punch his lights out like vito did dw#there's so much i wanna say but i'm not gonna rn bc i unfortunately have work to do#kit speaks#noahtally-famous#kit stuff#as for scott he's emotionally constipated he doesn't know how and what he's feeling lmao
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i have worms in my brain ☹️
#i need u guys to manifest that i am not getting ghosted by this person lmfao#my life is rough rn & that would just be the cherry on top of this whole mess lol#i’m not totally catastrophizing yet because i also leave them on delivered for long periods of time sometimes#and they took a long time to respond to my last msg but they still did#but i still can’t help but stress out 😭😭😭 i want this to work out so bad#like their last message was a good sign i think! they said we have similar taste in music so it’d be really fun to hang out#which i feel like it’d be unusual for them to say all that if they were just lying to be polite#but i asked them when they’re free last night & they still have yet to respond 😭#it’s not like they’ve been actively posting stuff since i sent that message either so they could very well be busy#and like. as far as i can tell they’re a good person!#so i really would be surprised if they just decided to totally disregard my feelings by ghosting me#not to mention we see each other semi regularly & i’m best friends w their closest coworker#so it’s not like they can run from this forever if that’s their intention here#meh. if they really do ghost me then they’re clearly not the person i thought they were#so i guess it’s for the better regardless of the outcome#but like. i am dealing with so many stressful things at once rn can i please just have this one thing 😭😭😭 pretty please#vent
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artifact farming for lyney and fischl is going about as well as expected (which is to say, terribly)
#tre plays#genshin impact#some characters get built so incredibly quickly and easily#(wanderer. itto. xiao)#(alhaitham's artifacts are still kind of bad tbh but overall his hyperbloom team is my best comp yet so idc)#and then others are like. wtf everything is terrible this is gonna take 24392423478 years#(i'm a razor main at heart and recently got eula too but the pale flame domain has decided that we are mortal enemies)#(gladiator's finale has been pretty nice to me though thank god)#but i keep getting DEF pieces from the fontaine artifact domain and like???? please stop????? TT_TT#i'm not trying to rebuild albedo here!!!! he has 4pc husk with 2600 def and a 1:2 crit ratio!!!! he is fine!!!!#give me the atk pieces i am BEGGING YOU GDI#fischl has been waiting YEARS for a proper build#and now that the opportunity is finally here it is. not working LMFAO#(i did get a double crit feather with on the lyney set just now but it keeps rolling into HP AHAHA HELP (weeping))#so uh. yeah. RIP me i guess XP
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music id send to an ex i havent spoken to for like. a Year.
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in the tags cause i'm being insane yet again. also saying things here and not main cause it feels safer here
#a vent abt my ex if you haven't guessed LMFAO#but she's ALREADY found her next victim i cant even believe her.#literally texted me a week and a half ago begging me to take her back. straight up narcissistic behavior holy fuck#god i hope she rots#i cant believe i wasted a year and a half of my life on something that meant nothing to her. that she could just Throw away.#also yes yes let's address that i of course know this information bc i still check her blogs im not the healthiest fucking individual#but yknow a fucking trauma bond like rewires your brain and it doesn't help with the bpd on top of it all#i know i need to stop lmfao cause it just hurts me in the long run but it's the only sense of control i have around this entire thing#and i know what my therapist is gunna say shes gunna say that's exactly what narcissists will do they just move on bc we are replaceable#but holy fuck does it still hurt!!!!! that i was used and it was all for nothing#my first like everything is tainted because none of it was real#like all of it#my first adult relationship my first kiss my first time having sex and being naked in front of a person#i gave all of that away. to someone who didn't deserve it#and i cant get it back#i don't get a do over i just have to live with it all#i put so much time and energy and love into that relationship and got nothing from her#why does she get to move on and just live her life. while i am STUCK here.#i gave her so much#im just like. i don't get it i don't get why it happened why she did this shit why she used me#good girl speaks#she took so fucking much from me. i want it all back
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today on: WHERE IS THE RAT TERRIER??
#elden#to be 100% fair i know that shelters and rescues take a best guess BUT these guys swore his mother was just a rat terrier lmao#today on: none of these breeds are REMOTELY CLOSE#embark#also today on i literally dont want any of these breeds but here we are i guess lmfao#he is a very good little boy so i think we'll be ok.....
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can i be borderline controversial and say that i do think there's a correlation between the love and adoration for the other kings, Leviathan's brutal honesty about grey-morality and involvement in war when you know him as Leviathan, and his lack of worshipers here under that name. the controversial part being that the other kings seem way more into propaganda flourishing and part of why i say that is because ive known both of them and they fucking do that oops hashtag UPG (PVG) spilled outta my pockets there
ie its always people who work for the other kings i see so caught up in how loving and pure the kings and ''demons'' are, and you COULD say that's just because Lev doesn't have many worshipers under that name but I think its more so because when you know "Leviathan" uhhhhh. like you could say lack of lev worshipers = lack of lev propaganda but i think its more so lev isnt going to pretend to be a beautiful siren man in a suit who tells you he loves you so so much even tho he just met you two seconds ago
#there's many factors IMO why we dont see many Leviathan worshipers so much as Shaivites and (insert other names here)#one of which is this but another big factor is. he. doesnt like Chrxstianity in the way that his brothers do lmfao he has other#ways of worshiping him and other labels that arent ''demon'' or occult and reverse-cxtholic aesthetics including latin and#priesthood and whatnot. i love that shit bc travelling to another country to grow up from age 10 and being exposed to the beauty#of cxtholic architecture and worship and aesthetics was cool af it was really like. i love this expression of devotion i love all human#devotion and i love gold and i love SUFFERING lmfao so. im always like oooo aesthetics and hes like. ah. hmm. no thanks#which is NOT to say thats all demonolatry is and IS to say he much prefers in my experience other ways of worshiping him#milk honey and ghee for one fucking example lmfao. flowers thrown into the ocean. blessing horses. traversing the wilderness. storm#chasing. I GUESS THERES A REASON HIS BIG NAMES are Shiva(/Rudra)/Poseidon/Tengri/etc and not Leviathan#as he was saying to me he's... he's not a god found in churches hes overhead at all times at least partially. hes in our dna. hes in the#trees surrounding our towns hes the deer and the wolves and the wild playfulness vs efficient machinery of horses. the rivers and the ocean#the clouds. mathematics. actual machines. i think trying to tie him into like... latin and chrxstian inspired rites and the word ''demon''.#ive said it before. If you catch him in a certain mood he does actually enjoy roleplaying the ''demon'' persona and the antithesis and#undoing of chrxstianity but. hes. not what he is not. listen he LOVES spooking people and if youre spooked by demons... he loves being#intimidating if you want a big tough king that also understands your deep and dark sides and who is intelligent and gentle but Dark#yeah im sure he'll be Leviathan for you but its like. idk. OH THIS IS. THIS IS THE SECOND REASON. THE POST IS ABOUT THE FIRST#THAT I LISTED LMFAOOOOOO#sorry im so in love w him atm let me talk about him please#ramblings //
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fr both taylor's quants as mirrors to themself. rian Seen as so meritous and deserving and talked to and tasked with and advised and considered but apparently rian's whole thing is going "huh. wha" and having wendy's level of self-reflection (none). winston who is begrudgingly allowed to sit in his corner and ignored b/c he's undeserving so he can't really be meritous and nobody would look in that mirror b/c it's gonna be So not their reflection. while he just won't stop cassandraing and having all these insights and perception and observations nobody even asked or told him to have and is peak taylor understander and just like taylor: isn't guided by a paper-thin ego but also will take criticism / blame / mistreatment Too Much for his own good
#winston billions#the tragedy of the Lose Lose imbalanced [rian is ostensibly a character but actually a plot device] [winston: ostensible plot device but#actually a character] like yknow we could even some of this out a little. but also once again billions' handling of Gender Things....#that's (mostly) all an issue on rian's side of the Quants Who Are Also You scales#(it's also ofc still relevant re: winston; or anyone; and especially wrt Autistic Character but that's gonna be beyond billions)#(even [society if nonbinary rian] aside like. thinking you simply have one of your rare Cis Women Characters here....come on)#give rian a little more of that '''''worse''''' treatment that would let her be more Funny Little Guy as lets winston be more characterful#even transcending the [they won't give him an arc or C plot that's actually about him or anything] limitations#meanwhile again like Lmfao rian was Meant to be important but that's Only meant taking part in Other People's Plots as [device]#being a plot device is a way to use characters it's not like Inherently Bad but like lmao. rian doesn't get to do anything herself For Real#AND all the plot devicery means she's never gotten to have consistent enough motivations or like. traits to be An Character.#winston's writing is so [here he is to do little a expositing. butt of the joke. minor plot device] that he has way more room to like#just be idiosyncratic & Not have that yanked around by ''prominence''....it happens to All billions characters but it's So bad w/rian#like i can go ''this feels like it's Too Far serving the plot or conflict at the expense of character'' other times w/other roles but like#that'll then also be isolated enough to just ignore. w/rian it's like spent that whole time doing multivariable calculus waiting on more#info more context to conclude anything abt what she's even Basically supposed to be like. even my more generous theories can't hold up#and based on precedent i don't have much hope that remaining [i guess this could be a quality of hers] will either (a) not be contradicted#or (b) get to actually mean anything in any of her arcs which ig now get to be about the [nothing] that is [pay disrespects]#winston isn't bound to get a real arc even last minute but he'll still have felt like more of a character#rian doomed by intending ''importance'' from the start & that they don't seem to have ever had the idea of any more solid foundation#and that billions going ''gender; huh?'' can be like. rian has to go away now; we needed her vagania for diluted cishet man sex scandal#well i for one am really reflecting on Women In The Workplace(tm) now & for what. rian funnier littler guy winston Ever getting a C plot...#a superior tmc timeline....and like as ever rian can be shitty that'd be fine. but if it Means Nothing b/c billions either goes [nuh uh]#and/or b/c either way it just does Nothing with it. that then Is Not character material for her; it more so is For Winston suffering it....#most likely to end with billions just agreeing rian Was so specially meritous & deserving & winston was too cringefail (autistic) to live#even if we get anything Alright / given consideration & care in his material....which will in turn be like eh. as ever; will take it lol#plus ofc fascinating like. can't draw a hard line b/w the Writing & the Performance but still wondering how much of winston's idiosyncrasy#and that sense of character is big time via will's acting. definitely got that foundation in that the Writing = quant kid 2; one-off joke#and the Performance of that material = furiously writing in multiple winston scenes & despite it all bringing him all the way into s7#but he's autistic & typecast so also our hands are tied. could've had more for Either/Both quants; which = more for taylor by extension. f
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there were so many pretty flowers !!!!! <3
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#today wahh okay we're leaving na bcs we're headed someplace else for our vacation#so it is. cold weather -> hot weather LMFAO#GOING TO THE BEACH IN DECEMBER IS KINDA SILLY TBH#woa. the cold weather is so nice#tbh i felt like almost fainting a while ago bcs god it was so. hot and cold and it was kinda so ... bad#tbf we were walking around a lot and in a hurry :')#also im SO CUTE literally obsessed w myself even if its just morning and i'm already exhausted#SORRY BTW im posting a lot about Real Life. i know i can literally post about wtvr i want but yk <3#tbh so far our little trip has been pretty wild uhm. some bad stuff happening#I WON'T SAY WHAT bcs it's a little tmi. oops! but yeah it's a mix of good w some bad stuff happening#but i won't let any of it ruin our trip !!!!! <3 i'll just enjoy myself w/o worrying#very fun trying to guess which flowers are which hehe. i at least know that we saw sunflowers. and asters i think!#rlly wna go back to That place sometime again. this whole#this whole place in general tbh bcs we're only here for a short while sobbing
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