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#so I guess I'm migrating this for the occasion

implausiblyjosh · 2 months

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Where Are We Signing Up

This is a repost from my cohost from Jan 23, 2024!

I've been thinking a lot about posts on here and elsewhere about "moving to a new site" in regards to Twitter's downfall. And while that used to be a common thing in the past, to move from site to site, it's not as common anymore. And I don't think you can go back to that era of the internet unless you are willing to get a lot of people making sites that people wanna go to.

When I was between the ages of Middle School and High School (I graduated in 2012, if that helps) I was on a Whose Line message board, various gaming message boards, various podcast message boards, the Meez message boards, IRC chats on occasion, Myspace, Google+, Facebook, Reddit, and probably many more places I'm forgetting at the moment. There were websites aplenty, and they were easy to find. You had a hobby or interest you liked, you could find a board, then find more from the people who posted there, and so on and so on. Services like StumbleUpon could also get you to some new places you'd never been before, and that's one more vector of discoverability into a bunch of cool websites and places to hang.

Now, in 2024, where on the net do those places exist? I could go back to some of those old message boards, but most of them are dead if they still exist at all or I've grown out of the community1. Some people have made throwback websites, like SpaceHey, and some people have made cool little websites in general, but it's not like people are rushing to go back to them. Where are all the users, and can you convince your friends to check in on them? Even though I follow Some Cool People on here, I still couldn't tell you of alternatives to Twitter outside of Bluesky (bleh) and Mastadon (even more bleh).

Which kinda gets me to my larger point, which is who's making sites like that anymore? Who's making message boards? Who's making other social media sites? That shit costs time and money, and while they're fun little projects a lot of the time (let me show you my list of ProBoards message boards sometimes) they will more often than not lose steam or interest rather quickly (RIP my message board I made with the help of Tumblr). It doesn't feel like new sites are really happening, and most that manage to happen feel like fly-by-night operations.

There's lots of talk about diversifying and getting setup on a bunch of different sites, but... where? What sites or platforms exist? Are we going back to forums? Which ones? Is there a different social media site that scratches the Twitter itch that you really like? Be specific, talk them up.

Like, even in the wake of Twitter's downfall, there's three "replacements" as far as I can tell: Mastodon, Bluesky, and Threads. Which one are you moving to? Threads at least has the support of the new @midnight reboot After Midnight, but what's Bluesky and Mastodon got going for it at this point? Bluesky's got the blocked user high score list and Mastodon seems to be built around in-fighting and declaring other instances are ontological evil so good luck picking the "right" instance. And even if we don't get into my issues with a lot of these also-rans in Twitter's wake, where exactly are we going?

And that's just thinking about Twitter! What about a Tumblr replacement (I guess I'm already here, so ignore this one), a DeviantArt replacement, a Facebook replacement, an Art Fight replacement, and on and on and on and on and on.

I'm down to sign up for new sites and give things a shot. I'd love to be fully off of twitter, I'd love to look at Discord a little less, I'd love to have a new username and password to use somewhere. But where are you going? What's the site or sites you're going to?

And, more importantly, where are we going? Who are you going to convince to follow you to the new sites, whatever they may be? I made my migration from Facebook to Google+ back in high school, but that didn't matter when none of my friends did. If you can't convince people to join you, or you don't talk up the new place, then what's the point of wondering why people don't move to new sites anymore. We know the reason at that point.

#social media #josh average rants

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skaruresonic · 10 months

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I wonder if ther was an uderlying resent ment aganist the Romanization of the Bretons. So when they left you had an explosion of their own culture?

this is very much a wild guess lmao. It's one of those grey areas and don't think we have that many sources on it all - there definitely would have been effectively a sort of pressure cooker with the whole Romans leaving and the arrival of the Angles, Saxons, and the Jutes (they exist!).

Also fun fact - the Saxons did immigrate to Britain but not all of them. That's why there's a modern day Saxony - they actually survived long enough that they were a thorn for the later Frankish Kingdom.

Oh, there absolutely was resentment over the burning of the sacred oak groves in Ynys Mon. The story of Boudicca is also a story of betrayal of the British royalty at the hands of the Romans. I simply specified "Romano-British elites" because that was the phrasing the article used. British citizens with ties to Rome did feel themselves akin to royalty. So the suggestion that even they considered the Saxons "superior" - putting a delicate balance on that word, as I'm not fully committing to it even though that was the word the article used - is interesting and warrants thorough investigation, even if the truth cannot be known in its fullest complexity. What people have come to believe these days is that, even though the change cannot be cleanly explained by any one phenomenon, a notable change did occur. But the critical distinction which will forever puzzle is, how much assimilation was voluntary? I've seen interpretations which suggest the migration of the Saxons was gradual rather than a singular push, a westward expansion that was briefly repelled in the east for a short amount of time at what is believed to be Badon (the exact site and date of the battle unknown; St. Gildas claims it occurred the year he was born). The Saxon expansion went uncontested except for that brief blip of time, and there really isn't concrete evidence to explain how or why. This gap of resistance sandwiched inside an otherwise ubiquitous conquest is what likely bred tales of Arthur.

Also, like. Looking at the life of the salacious King Maelgwn and how St. Gildas condemned him and other contemporaneous leaders as "tyrants," the history of that time is probably full of opportunists who seized at the bit rather than heroes who rose to the occasion. To put it lightly.

#asks

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ambiguouspuzuma · 1 year

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I have a Storyteller Saturday question, if you'd like to answer one. I'm amazed by your short stories, where do such wonderful ideas come from? What's the most unusual thing that's inspired a story?

Hi! Thank you for the question, and sorry it took almost another whole Saturday to get around to answering it. It's a big one and I wanted to do it some sort of justice.

I guess the easiest way to answer is with a few examples. Today I saw an exposed corner on a banister, thought about those like translucent rubber orbs you used to see on the edges of furniture so children didn't bang their heads, thought about the term 'child-proofing', briefly wondered about a mystery where somebody is exposed as hiding a child by the little details that their home has been made safe, the tantalising possibility of using the pun 'the proof in the proofing', but then looked for another angle and found the idea of child-proofing to keep children out, put a fantasy twist on it, and that's now a story that will be coming your way at some point.

After I got this ask I went on a walk in the woods and was gazing up at the trees, remembered artwork of a giant deer walking through the forest, wondered how tall a paraceratherium would be in comparison to the canopy, looked up their height and fell down a rabbit hole (online, not in the woods) about how they were driven to extinction due to competition by migrating gomphotheres, added a sci-fi twist to that dynamic, and that that gave me the idea for a short story about space colonialism which is also in the queue.

I can't tell you which is the most unusual origin. There are far too many to remember any but the most recent few. Sometimes it's a household object, sometimes a person I pass in the street, sometimes they even come to me in dreams. Sometimes it's a first line, and I just keep writing until I find my way into the story. Sometimes it's a last line, and I have to write until I can earn it.

Sometimes it's deliberate, where I hear a concept that has an interesting or unusual feel to it and turn it over in my mind until I can see the right angle. In the past week somebody mentioned the trope of American immigrants keeping the first dollar they made in a frame on the wall, and someone else referenced the fairy-tale story of the princess and the pea. My first thought in both occasions was 'how can I subvert this', and that's now a plot point for one of my WIPs and another short story idea.

But mostly it happens by accident. I am naturally curious and observant of these little details, always wondering about things, always letting my imagination run away with me, and it often just comes back with these ideas before I know it. It's not always something that I do deliberately, perhaps because I've looked for the angle so many times that it now happens on its own. Perhaps I've just spent so long daydreaming that my mind is completely unhinged and premises can float in and out freely whether I want them to or not.

I waxed a little more lyrically about that here, although it's all a bit tongue in cheek and I don't mind the question at all! It's interesting to have to think and talk about these things, and to document the origin of this week's four ideas before I forget them in another week's time. Thank you again!

#on writing

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thepaddedamby · 10 months

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It's Been nearly Seven years now.

Holy shit do we have a fuck ton of things to talk about here.

Where the hell did you go???

So, this has a short answer, and it has a long answer. The short version is that I just migrated away from the site. I pursued other goals I had, and I migrated away from Tumblr. Simple as that. Though this isn't exactly the full story.

After the rest and I of the Tumblr group had created the Red Light Room, we have to go on a hiatus due to lack of content and the growing discourse between myself and two other members of the group. This had lead to a post that was made about what would happen to the stream moving forward. We asked for requests of games and other topics we could use for future podcasts. Well, I'm sure you can probably guess how everything went. We got absolutely nothing. After a few months of waiting for something to appear, we had gotten nothing and decided to just leave it be. Dahlia, Midnight and Lusties Pleasures had all left Tumblr. I had left shorty after I never really looked back to this site in the slightest.

So, What happened after that?

Nothing much honestly, After I had left in 2017, I had a few big changes happen in my life. Some very good and some very bad. We'll get to all those in a moment. After I had left Tumblr, I had moved over to twitter for a short time before dropping out of any public eye for a long while. And while Amber's Padded Palace had vanished, the person in control of it did not.

In late 2018, I had started to date someone that would eventually propose to me just two years ago. Oddly enough, you all called it. Midnight and I had started dating. I was invited to move from my state and live with him, Lusties Tavern, and Lusties Pleasures. I of course had agreed and moved in with them. This was in early 2019. From there I had lived with them all for about two years. More on that in a moment.

What happened with The Red Light Group?

NOT GOOD THINGS! So, this one is a bit of a long one so I'll try and put what I mostly remember so bear with me. So everything had started about six months after I had moved in with the group. Any personality that Tavern and Pleasures had shown had melted away, leaving me dealing with almost completely different people. People who were inconsiderate, lazy, gaslighting, Manipulative and all together scum of people. This is the absolute hell I had to live through for about two years.

The issues had started with Pleasures. What I thought was a general cool dude had turned into a homophobic, self-absorbed, Toxic, "Man's man" (Very Toxic Masculinity.) Every little thing that had broken down in the house, it was automatically my fault. Internet goes out? My fault. T.V. Busted? My fault. Everything was placed on me. Everything had to be controlled by him, the location of the router, who the "bread winner" was, etc. We had butt heads a good amount of times over the two years, never in a good way. He had to right on every occasion, the end.

Then there was Dahlia. If your conversation was not on her, then there was a problem. Sad scene in a movie? Loudly announce that "I'm not going to cry." Tragedy in your life? Loudly announce "Well my brother died a few years back let's all talk about this instead." and proceed to cry crocodile tears. Suggest a small change in plans then? "Oh...Okay then...Thats fine" The loudly sigh and mope. Everything as stated earlier needed to be about her. If not? There was going to be a problem.

Problems had kept going through the house for the better part of two years. Though everything had changed in august 2021. Midnight and I had arrived home from a vacation to California to see my parents. Though when we had boarded the plane to go back to Texas, we had gotten a message in the shared roommate chat on discord. They had said that we were horrible people, and they were moving out. in this note they had also accused me of being an abusive Boyfriend to Midnight and Midnight had been a pathetic shell of a man. Of course, there was a lot of anger over this but somehow, Midnight and I moved on.

What happened after they left?

Midnight and I moved on. Plain and simple. over the next few days that they had moved out, they had proceeded to turn every mutual friend against us and gloat about it. Mentally it had started to hit us but as we had found out, we didn't need them. Life had already started to get better. We had moved from the shit hole we lived in, gotten better jobs and became engaged. What happened to them? As we have heard, everyone has started to turn on them. Though do we care? Not in the slightest. Karma is a bitch.

So what now? Why this post?

Well, this post was something I had needed to get off my chest for a while now. I wanted to come back to Tumblr for promotion stuff to hopefully post new Fic's I'm working on and hopefully post new journeys I'm starting. If this post swayed some former opinions, then that's awesome! I won't be focusing what I used to do on this blog, everything will be original content along with a few posts about my padded life in general. Plain and simple. With that, I'll be posting links to my other accounts to keep anyone interested up to date. I honestly hope you enjoy what's coming up and Stay Padded my Friends!

#Thepaddedamby #where have you been #update

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kuttanjal123 · 2 years

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VEER/ABHAY

Namaste, main hoon Veer Singh. (Greetings, I'm Veer Singh). I'm twelve, and I'm a Punjabi. I was born in September. My family primarily hailed from Amritsar, but my ancestors migrated to New Delhi over time due to the Partition of Punjab back in 1947. There's a common misconception on whether we can speak Hindi or not. Well, there are Punjabi Hindus and Punjabi Sikhs. The Sikhs can speak Punjabi fluently, but the Hindus primarily speak Hindi, although they come from the same heritage and background. I belong to the latter.

"Pagri" (turban). This gave us an identity, and it was one of the rules we had to follow according to our religion. My relatives sometimes say things to me in Punjabi, and I can't understand a word of it. I've become more immune to speaking and understanding Hindi. I have black hair, doe eyes, and I wear a "kara" (traditional Sikh bangle) which indicates utmost devotion and sincerity to God. Indian families are known for celebrations, singing, and dancing. It's always a colorful and vibrant occasion. Wouldn't want to miss it if you travel down here.

Our food variety is endless, and once we start, it will take a long time to finish. Kids are lovingly referred to as "Puttar." My father was the eldest son. I called him "Papaji," my uncles "chachaji"and aunts"chachiji."

Gagan chachaji and Rano chachiji were the parents of Baani, Gunjan, and Preet, my cousin sisters. Mohi chachaji and Lajjo chachiji were the parents of Jeet, Balwant, and Yuvraj, my cousin brothers. Bhagatveer Singh was our grandfather, who we lovingly called "Darjee."

I suppose the real fun started when we were at the table. It was a pretty sight to see my aunts and mother trying to get all us kids to eat well .... Although Arjun, my older brother, found it a bit overwhelming.

"You didn't even start eating?! Have parathas (Indian bread) and take some paneer (cottage cheese) with that. Don't you have to build your body?" they asked as they loaded his plate.

"I will eat what I want! Please!" he pleaded with folded hands.

To be honest, I love eating everything served at the table. You could describe me as a bottomless pit. I guess I take after my dad and uncles. Couldn't understand why Arjun was quite fussy. He is the eldest child. I call him and my older cousin brothers "bhaiyya."

We are polar opposites. Arjun is trying out to make it to the Delhi Cricket Team. I love playing cricket as much as watching it on TV. It's quite a sight when all the men gather in our house ground and play. Arjun always planned the setup for each match. I always found cricket the most exciting sport even though hockey was the national sport in India because the rules were simple. But that didn't mean a bit of cheating was encouraged ... and so was rule-bending. Now, this happened when Arjun appealed for LBWs (cricket lingo).

"Darjee! You are supporting Jeet?! I'm appealing, and you're easily rejecting it? This is wrong," he said, shaking his head.

"No, Arjun, I'm being honest," he said.

But as Arjun turned, he winked at me. "Papaji, Mohi, and Gagan chachaji, you've become old," said Arjun, frustrated.

"Son, just watch. I will field so well that Jeet or Balwant will get out, just like that," Gagan chachaji said, snapping his finger.

After ten balls, eventually, Jeet did get out. Looks like chachaji had kept up his word.

"Did you see that? ... Once we promise something, we will make sure it happens. Now, will you accept? I want to eat. I'm hungry!" he said, rubbing his tummy.

Like Indians in general, Punjabis are known for their food, hospitality, and welcoming nature. A Punjabi will never deny assistance to anyone, even a stranger. The husbands are demanding of their wives, who are busy doing household chores the entire time and are ordered not to speak much. Punjabi women drape the traditional scarves around their heads. They are known as "duppattas and chunnis."A lot of kids referred to their Moms as Mummyji. I didn't. For me, it was simple: "Ma."

"Did you see how I fielded and played?" I asked as I sat beside her.

"Yes, yes, you field very well." She nodded and patted me.

"Then why doesn't Arjun praise me?" I asked sadly.

"Forget what he says," said Ma shaking her head. "I know you, my little Veer."

"Veer, after a few years, we will get you ready to play cricket just like Arjun," Papaji said as he looked into the mirror, wrapping his pagri around his head.

He had long hair, but I never got to see it since it was tied beneath the pagri.

"Yes, Papaji."

Papaji, Gagan, and Mohi chachaji were known as "Sardars" who referred to each other affectionately as "Veer Ji." (Veer is a name and also used to address "brother" in Punjabi). They loved their thick mustaches and manly beards. Although we all ate dinner together, the men had their quota of fun and drinking. One night, I heard them laughing and babbling as usual. If there is something a Punjabi can't live without, it's alcohol.

"Diljit, do you remember when we went hunting, how fun it was?" asked Mohi chachaji.

"I got off the horse and quietly hid behind the tree. The lion was right there. After that, I lifted the gun like this," he said as he gestured. "I fired the gun, and the lion ran away."

Papaji laughed.

"Yes, I was there too," said Gagan chachaji.

"You were, but after listening to the gun go off, you fell off the horse!" laughed Papaji and Mohi chachaji.

"Hey, give me a peg of alcohol," asked Papaji.

"Yeah, yeah, it's fine ... now just stop with it already," said Gagan chachaji.

I couldn't understand their sense of humor, but OK, whatever made them happy.

"Did you ever think what happened to brother Baldev?" asked Gagan chachaji.

"Chhup!" (Silence) shouted Papaji. "Remember, we promised that we would never take his name in this house?" he said.

"But do you ever think about where he is and what he's doing?" asked Gagan chachaji.

"Yes, maybe," said Mohi chachaji and Papaji.

I ran back into the room since I didn't want anyone to know I had eavesdropped. I was curious and didn't think twice that I could be landing into serious trouble. After all, the youngest kid in the house is known for doing that.

The girls loved to whisper and giggle at the table. It was always some girl talk that neither the boys nor I could ever understand. If the elders scolded us boys, they would laugh. I guess they enjoyed seeing us in trouble. In a Punjabi household, it's too late for you to decide what you'd like to eat. Your plate is already loaded and given to you. You have to just eat. Try to bargain but trust me, it's a battle you don't want to fight. I thought I could take a chance with Darjee regarding what I heard since I was his favorite grandchild.

"Darjee, can I ask you something?" I said.

"Yes, tell me," he said as he ate.

"My friend's name is Baldev." I paused.

As I looked at him, he began coughing.

"Veer! You don't know what to ask when!" scolded Rano chachiji, before giving him a glass of water.

"No problem, why do you ask?" he said as he drank water and patted his mouth dry with the table cloth.

"I like that name very much. Why did you name me Veer?"

"Veer is a nice name," he said.

"Baldev is a good name too, right?" I asked.

"Yes," he said.

"Then what happened to Baldev chachaji?"

There was stunned silence at the table. Everyone looked at me in shock, especially Darjee. He had never been so stern as he was now. Ma grabbed my arm and marched me upstairs. She began hitting me on the way to the room. I was scolded.

"You will not take that name in this house, got it?!" she yelled, dragging me inside the room.

"But why? Who is he?"

She shook her head and sat down next to me.

"He is your other uncle. But he left this family and went away."

"What happened?"

She took a deep breath.

"Look, whatever I'm telling you, listen carefully. After that, you will not ask questions. Understood?"

I nodded.

"Your dad had three brothers. His youngest brother left this house because he didn't adopt the rules and customs of this family. Darjee said that all his kids would live in this house together. No one would go outside Delhi or India. But Baldev chachaji wanted to go outside the country and explore this world. And when he expressed this desire, Darjee expelled him from this house and severed ties with him."

"So easily?"

"Yes," she said, standing up. "Remember one thing. Our honor, name, respect, and dignity are everything in our family. If we break this, then our life can be taken. Beware, we will not speak about this."

I nodded in silence.

There was not much talking in the house for the next few days. I, for one, stayed a lot in my room, which Arjun and I shared. Our school was big where all the kids would go and study. Arjun was twenty years old. Our age gap was eight years. The other boys were between the age range of fifteen and seventeen. So were the girls. All of them were very studious, except me. I would always get scolded in class. Hinglish was the language spoken at school. Yup, you guessed it right, a mix of Hindi and English.

"Veer! Eyes on the board!" snapped Ms. Ahluwalia, my class teacher. "You're always looking outside the window. Turn to page 45 and read the first paragraph."

"Yes, miss!" I replied.

I swiftly searched through my school bag, but I hadn't brought it. I had not even taken out my book yet as I looked at the table. I guess I forgot to put the books in my bag according to the schedule for the next day.

"I think I didn't bring it," I said as I scratched my head.

"Didn't bring it? Leave my class right now!" she said, pointing her hand outside.

"But Bunty will share his book with me. Chalega na?" (That'll work, right?)

"Don't try to act smart with me. Out! Right now!" she yelled.

This wasn't unusual. I always did stand outside the class at least once a day. It was either because I forgot my book, talked too much, or didn't do my homework.

"Why do you always do this? You know you could be hit for this at home, right?" asked Bunty.

"Don't worry, this happens at home all the time," I assured.

Personally, I didn't like any subjects at school. I wished to become a chef. According to the people in my house, it was a feminine thing to do, and it was never encouraged in our family. Women cooked, men ate and did all the work. Papaji, Mohi, and Gagan chachaji spent their time hunting, plowing the fields and loved farming.

The haveli (mansion) was where generations of our family lived. The only happy time was when it came to eating food since we just ate and there was no discussion about work or school. We just had fun and cracked jokes. This spread was to die for. There was paneer masala, parathas, rajma chawal, butter chicken, dal makhani, and the great lassi to top it all. But unfortunately, I couldn't enjoy it. Ma had an announcement to make at the table.

"Veer, you aren't paying attention in school. I've only been hearing complaints. But did you observe how all the others are studying at home?"

"Yes," I sulked.

"So I have decided that Gunjan, Baani, and Preet will teach you. Jeet, Balwant, and Yuvraj don't have time because they have a lot to study. Understood?"

My cousins left to get everything ready, and now I was under pressure to eat fast. I sighed after finishing, got my books, and went to the study room.

"Baito!" (sit) they said together.

Although I had great respect and fondness for my sisters, I didn't appreciate being bossed around or teased. And they did that a lot. I guess that's one of the perks of being the youngest in the family.I yawned after a while and asked them a question that baffled them.

I called them "Didi" which is used to refer to elder sister affectionately.

"Di, did you ever think that you wanted to become a chef?" I asked.

"WHAT?!" they all said at the same time.

"No, really! Our moms make such great food. If we learn from them, then there's no reason to study, right?"

They looked at each other in shock.

"No one can make money from cooking food," said Gunjan.

"Food can be made by anyone," said Baani.

"And even if you get a job, very easily you can be replaced," said Preet.

"Why? What do you mean?"

"I mean, in this world, there are so many people who can cook food. Better than you, and even they aren't employed anywhere. What will you show people differently?" asked Gunjan.

"I know I'm small, but in a few years, I can also become like Arjun bhaiyya and follow my passion," I said.

"Focus on studying. We will look into what to become and what to not become later. But if you want to pass in school, then you have to do this," said Baani.

My favorite sweet was gulab jamun. I especially loved it when it was made by Ma.

"When you make it, can I help you?" I asked as my eyes lit up.

"No, Veer—"

"Please? Please?"

"But the recipe requires the use of hot oil, and your hands can get burnt," she said, shaking her head as she adjusted her shawl.

"Give me the easy part. And what is hard, I will watch, that's it," I said smiling.

Then came the most awaited day, and after I'd successfully helped in making it, I couldn't wait to tell all the elders. But Ma grabbed my arm before I ran to the table.

"They can't know. You wanted to learn, I showed you. Now keep quiet," she said in a serious tone.

"Okay," I said with my head down.

Everyone enjoyed the gulab jamun. But I couldn't get any praise for what I did simply because cooking was a profession that was looked down upon. There were so many successful chefs from India representing India wherever they went. Why couldn't I be accepted and encouraged for my passion? I headed to my room to sleep post-dinner.

"Arjun bhaiyya," I said, sitting on the bed.

"Yes, tell me," he said as he changed his shirt.

"Do you think that I'm fat?"

He walked over and sat next to me on the bed.

"Not at all. You're fine. And if people say that, then don't listen to them. With time, you will also play cricket and lose weight. Don't worry."

"Do you really want to be a cricketer?"

"Yes, I would feel great. It's my passion."

"But don't you think there will be a lot of competition in cricket?"

"Yes, of course, but that doesn't mean I will accept defeat and sit down. I have to fight. Maybe victory will come days later or very soon. But it will happen. I'm confident of it."

"Do you think of Uncle Baldev?"

"Sometimes. Why ask?"

"If ... in your life such a phase approaches, what will you do?"

"Meaning?"

"Meaning, if you break the rules of this house and family, knowingly or unknowingly, will you be prepared to face the consequences?"

"Yes, maybe," he said, looking at me.

"Even if the punishment is death?"

Arjun looked at me, shocked.

"Who told you all this?" he asked with raised eyebrows.

"I was just asking ... randomly," I said as I looked down.

"If you want something from the bottom of your heart and you don't get it, but your heart tells you and also knows that you didn't commit a crime, what's the need to get scared? I don't want to be a coward. I will face the truth. And the same thing about death, if it's meant to happen, I don't fear death."

He turned off the lights, and we went to bed.

We had a significant age gap, but he was a great brother. The next day, I heard him and Ma arguing in the room.

"You will not do that! You know what could happen, right? You are putting our reputation at stake!" shouted Ma.

"It doesn't matter to me," he said calmly.

"But it does to me! You're my son!"

"Arjun! Come down!" called Papaji from downstairs.

"This is my decision now, whether you like it or not," said Arjun.

Before he stepped out, I hid inside our room. What were they talking about? And why was Ma crying? I went to her room to ask her what had happened, but I didn't want to risk getting in trouble again. I let it roll off my back, thinking she was exaggerating. Because I bugged him, Arjun took me out with him to hang out with his friends on his days off.

I wanted to see other people besides family. But this time, it wasn't normal. He chose a secluded spot and told me to sit inside the car. He gave me his phone, so I could play games on it, but after a point I got bored. I noticed a girl talking to him through the rearview mirror. They were laughing and smiling at each other as they conversed joyfully. They hugged, and Arjun kissed her on the cheek near the end of the conversation. I witnessed all of this, but as he sat in the car, I pretended I didn't notice anything and continued looking at the phone.

He talked to me as if nothing had happened. But ... I was curious and couldn't help but ask. "Who is that girl?"

"Who? Which girl? Nobody." He shrugged.

After a prolonged silence, I couldn't hold back longer. "I saw everything," I said softly.

The remainder of the ride back home was silent. It was strange because Arjun never had any friends who were girls and usually had his boy gang with whom he had the most fun. But I being the annoying, nosy kid I was, wouldn't stop pestering him, and out of anger, he slapped me. I began crying and didn't say anything even when Ma asked me what had happened.

"He wanted to eat ice cream. And I refused. He made a fuss, so I slapped him on his cheeks," said Arjun, glaring at me as I wiped my tears.

"Veer! You know that ice cream from the streets can spoil your health, right? Why don't you ever listen?!" said Ma, applying ice on my cheeks and then hugging me.

Without saying anything further, he just walked away. I wasn't scared of Arjun, but I felt that he had hurt me. He and I used to get into arguments. Luckily it never turned violent. I respected him.

One day all the cousins wanted to play a game.

"Oye, Veer. Get the cards," said Jeet.

"But I don't know where they are," I said as I rolled my eyes.

"Yes! I remember! They're in the almirah of your room," said Yuvraj.

"OK, I'll bring it. But you will teach me how to play, right?"

"Yes, yes," said Balwant.

I went into our room. Arjun usually locked the door of his almirah before heading out, or even if he was at home. But surprisingly, it was unlocked. As I began searching for the cards ... out popped a diary.

Pages and pages of entries daily. Looking around to make sure no one had seen me, I quickly browsed through and realized it was Arjun's. I swiftly put it back, closed the almirah, took out the cards, and left the room.

"Here, take it," I said as I handed it over to them.

Although we played cards, I wasn't able to focus. I was bothered and in deep thought about the purpose of Arjun's diary. After playing, I headed to the room and pondered about the diary. Arjun was back, reading a newspaper and playing on his phone.

After explaining why I'd opened the almirah in his absence, there was an uneasy look on his face, and he certainly appeared to be hiding something. He awkwardly excused himself.

My hunch was clarified when he came back.

"Today onwards, you will not open this almirah without my permission."

I had to somehow get hold of the diary and read what was in there. I was curious and couldn't help but figure out why he was hiding something. I was sad because my mind told me not to. My heart wouldn't listen to me. The almirah had a code that was required to unlock it. A few days later, I secretly hid under the bed to see his code to open it. I got it! It was 7346. Arjun had to head out of the house for a couple of days to train. Since I knew he wouldn't be home, I took the chance. I quietly unlocked the almirah in the night with the flashlight under the pillow and began reading.

What I assumed to be daily entries of normal activities turned out to be entries of secret meetings, love quotes, love letters, and pictures of a girl named "Simran." I snapped the diary shut and dropped it as my hands quivered. I was dumbfounded.

Papaji had begun to seek out a perfect bride for Arjun, who was the combination of being from a reputed family and following the same morals and values.

As we reached the girl's house, we were greeted with open arms.

"I am Baljeet. This is Karamjeet my wife, my kudi Mahi," said the man.

Kudi meant girl in Punjabi.

After introducing the whole family, I could see Papaji proudly put his arm around my brother with great pride.

"This is my munda (boy), Arjun."

But instead of expressing much enthusiasm, Arjun hung his head down, finding reasons to look around and avoided eye contact. It wasn't until Papaji nudged him a bit further that he managed to fake a smile.

Mahi served all of us something to eat on a tray. This was a custom common in other Indian cultures as well. The families interacted for a while, but I observed Arjun very closely. He was the least interested, trying to distract himself by looking at his phone the entire time, even when Mahi tried to make conversation.

Rishta" (relation) had been fixed. Papaji had given the bride's father his word, and abiding by that promise was more precious than his son's true happiness. It was the weekend, and Arjun had left town for cricket practice. In the spur of the moment, Ma called me to the kitchen for something, and I placed Arjun's diary under the pillow I slept on. It was a mistake I would regret no matter how much I wish I could try to take it back. Papaji was searching for a flashlight, and Arjun had mentioned earlier that it was under my pillow.

By the time Arjun reached home, everyone was well aware of what had happened.

"What is this?!" screamed Papaji holding up the diary.

"Yeah, I love Simran," Arjun said calmly.

"You had an affair with another girl inside our own house?! What did you think?! We'll let you marry her?! Didn't you even think about where she comes from?! Look at our societal status and nobility. Woh Kuttiya." (That bitch.)

"Papaji! Watch your tongue!" screamed Arjun.

Papaji slapped him.

"You only think about your societal status, reputation, and family name. You don't have feelings. Baldev chachaji must've gotten tired of listening to this all the time! That's why he left this house! He didn't want to spoil his life."

"OY!" Papaji screamed, lunging to hit him.

"Enough is enough. From this moment on, this boy has no relationship with this family," said Darjee.

The others were shocked, but I wasn't since I knew the truth and had given Arjun away. Darjee's say was the final decision. I began crying, begging others to forgive Arjun and punish me. I could hear Arjun marching upstairs, getting ready to pack all his belongings, preparing to leave.

"I will only marry Simran, and if you all reject her, I will leave this house, and we will still make our life together!" he stated before he left the house.

As he left, I continued to plead not to punish Arjun. But Papaji was so angry he didn't listen. He managed to convince Arjun to get back home, and he believed with time Arjun would understand, and he would coax him into getting married to Mahi. The next day, as it was darkening, I heard Arjun call Simran, and though I pretended to be asleep, I heard him whisper.

"You know what to do, right?"

He was gone. I lurked in the dark right behind and saw him leave the house. Papaji woke up sometime later, dressed, and shortly before he headed out to the car, I could hear Ma weeping in the room. Quickly, I ran down and hid in the trunk of the vehicle. Inside climbed my uncles and headed out in search of Arjun.

"It's reached the limit! We can't let this happen!" I could hear Papaji scream.

"But brother," I heard my uncles say softly. "He is your son."

"I know ... but I have to do this."

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thefinalwitness · 2 years

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3, 8, and 15 for miss l’aiha please 😌💕

thank u!!!!! 🥺🥺💞💞💞💞💞

3. What does their voice sound like, in a couple of words?

(How about a LOT of words sorry that's how we roll here.) L'aiha has always been well spoken, even when she's incredibly emotional or otherwise hindered. L'khilo thinks it's a clue as to the environment she might've grown up in prior to her amnesia—a scholarly, educated place. He's right, too!

Generally L'aiha is very soft-spoken, polite, and with a hint of 'elegance' or 'properness' in her tone. Obviously FFXIV is afflicted with the same disease as every fantasy media ever, where smart characters are always Fantasy British Accented, but ignoring that for a minute, I think her accent would still be notably miqo'te, especially on H sounds where that 'hiss' comes through. She was raised around very educated miqo'te, so they definitely sound DIFFERENT to your average Seeker or Keeper, but they simultaneously sound Less Different than, say, an educated hyur or elezen would.

I'm not great at putting 'mental voice' into a given accent, but based on L'aiha's upbringing, i'd say she possesses something most like a Spanish accent? (I can't tell EXACTLY what Gyr Abania's coded culture is, but it SEEMS in that ball park) Her maternal family are very recent immigrants from Ala Mhigo, and her paternal family, while generations-old Sharlayans now, still has a strong sense of culture and language predating their own migration.

So uh... Really Smart Spanish Woman Voice, I Guess. Even though her current voiceclaim isn't that, because I was trying to match the Fantasy British Accent. >_> Still would like to change that! But you can imagine how hard it is to find 'smart fantasy voice that ISN'T BRITISH FUCK' lmao.

8. What is their coping mechanism?

ISOLATION. ISOLATION. ISOLATION.

L'aiha has an admittedly bad habit of running away when things get REALLY hard. Tragedy, fights with friends, overwhelming news... Her impulse is to run and hide, and it's one she's still struggling with—her very hair color is evidence of a current episode, where she's trying to run back to a version of herself she doesn't even KNOW beyond second-hand accounts.

It's strange, actually, how often 'isolation' means she'll go somewhere NEW, UNKNOWN. she rarely runs back to what she knows, instead setting out on someplace she's never seen or barely knows anything about. (In truth, it's the bizarre clash of 'running away' and 'exploration'. She's always been a traveller. More so than I'm about to explain to a friend I don't want to overly spoil on FFXIV things. ;D)

15. Has their personality changed at all since they were a child? Why?

DEFINITELY. Ages 0-28, L'aiha was a hopeful and proactive sort. She was to some degree under the effects of the 'gifted child' phenomenon; she'd always been well designed for the difficult schooling and education of Sharlayan, rising to the occasion time and again, leaving little in the way of failures or disappointments in her wake. Life bordered on 'too easy' for her, and she ached for more.

After she left Sharlayan, she definitely FOUND more. She found a crisis on an apocalyptic scale; a problem she could not solve with wit or resolve. A problem that killed her and some of her dearest friends.

And though she doesn't remember any of it after she wakens in the Gyr Abanian wilderness, the failure fundamentally changed her. She became cautious, sometimes overly so, and though she still possesses a LOT of ambition and compassion, she struggles more to act on it. Something forgotten in her dreads to fail again.

She's very much the embodiment of 'once bitten and twice shy' these days, and she's learning how to overcome AND accept it, ESPECIALLY now that she knows who she WAS before. Brave and bold and unstoppable J'nhala Eiha, now the tentative and uncertain L'aiha Kh. Slowly, she's learning there's good in the change—she's more careful, more considerate, and most of all she UNDERSTANDS why someone else would falter for fear alone. But it's not the way of a gifted student or venerated hero. It's not what she was. And she's learning that that's okay.

#THANKIE AGAIN i have one (1) very confused catgirl #l'aiha #wol

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jimstares · 2 years

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I posted 4,433 times in 2021

82 posts created (2%)

4351 posts reblogged (98%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 53.1 posts.

I added 2,797 tags in 2021

#i laughed - 578 posts

#mentally i'm 13 - 577 posts

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#movie geek - 242 posts

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#dog dog dog - 167 posts

#i can find no fault in this logic - 161 posts

#food porn - 146 posts

Longest Tag: 96 characters

#tell me you haven't read the new testament without telling me you haven't read the new testament

My Top Posts in 2021

The opposite of war isn't peace.. It's creation

Jonathan Larson

13 notes • Posted 2021-06-18 03:24:35 GMT

youtube

Finally got a chance to watch CNN’s Apollo 11: Quarantine and wow is it good!! One big thing I had forgotten (I was 5!) was the bio-hazard suits they to put on. @kaiyves and any other Capsule Heads out there, well worth your time.

16 notes • Posted 2021-03-08 02:31:03 GMT

Everyone says they’re lucky to have met their partner, and that’s undoubtedly true for me. As for me? The number of things that had to fall into place, even in some cases, not wanting to do something (I didn’t want to move to Splash, and there’s no way we would have met otherwise), are just staggering to me.

30 years ago today I was lucky enough to marry my best friend, my biggest supporter, my confidante, and the love of my life, the Lovely & Talented @kjuw89

16 notes • Posted 2021-01-12 01:00:54 GMT

We were introduced to Willie by our friends at Evergreen Golden Retriever Rescue. It seems that he had "nipped" at someone and his former owner was told that he was "too aggressive and should be put down". Thankfully they chose a different path and turned him over to EGRR. It's true that in the beginning he was just a tad aggressive, but never dangerously so, and our best guess is that he was the Alpha in his old pack, but he quickly learned his place in our pack he was just fine. Once he figured out that, he was all bark till we told him it was okay and then he'd try to bring you a toy.

Will was never much on the whole Golden Retrieving thing, but he was outstanding at being a Golden Carrier. Water bottles, branches, and after we moved down here the occasional palm frond, if it could fit in his mouth he'd want to carry it (one of our neighbors used to leave out a stick for him with a note that it was Willie's stick and no one else's). Will became a fixture at 5k runs in the Seattle area, always carrying the event t-shirt or a bandana around the start line and out on the course, I seriously have no idea how many people have pictures of Will on their phones but we were always being asked by other if they could take a photo.

In October of 2017 he made the migration to San Diego with us and instantly became a San Diego Dog. The Lovely & Talented worked from home full time which meant he had the run of the place, and with the nice weather he found places to sun himself as well as places keep cool when the occasion called for it.

We had to say goodbye to him today, but as with Eli, Ollie, and Toby, he'll be in our hearts forever. Fair winds and following seas Willie the Wonderdog, you will be missed.

GoldSmith's Where It All Started "Willie" 03 Dec 1998 - 16 Feb 2021

21 notes • Posted 2021-02-17 01:16:50 GMT