#sir not to be homoerotic but i could kiss you right now...
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being in the hbo war fandom is just sitting in a dark room and pacing like a troubled detective whilst muttering about acting choices under your breath
#rie talks#the night of the bayonet... luz just get me a drink...#sir not to be homoerotic but i could kiss you right now...#every scene rami malek was in in the pacific...#everything callum turner has been doing in mota so far.....#ACTING CHOICES#hbo war
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Season 4, Episode 10: An Extremely Chaotic and Incoherent Review
The Good:
LISTEN
LISTEN
YOU CAN'T JUST HAVE THESE GUYS PULL OUT THE MOST APT STAR WARS PREQUEL MEMES OF ALL TIME
AND NOT THINK I'M GONNA SHIP THE SHIT OUT OF THEM
DID ELI REALLY JUST SAY DEM SHOULD PULL AN "IT'S OVER ANAKIN I HAVE THE HIGH GROUND" ON ROBBY
WITH A STRAIGHT FACE
I can't with this man
I can 100% not tell if these boys are memeing or actually taking karate advice from the Star Wars prequels but honestly??? I fucking love it either way
Dumbasses (affectionate)
ALSO the absolutely doe-eyed way Eli looks at Demetri when he says "you're taller!!" Yeah you like your men taller, don't you, short king?
Come to think of it Eli has been basically nonstop giving Demetri doe eyes all season
Maybe that's just what his face looks like?
Nah he's still kinda smug smirking at the beginning of the season
But he does become very apt at looking like a sad puppy
I swear this fucker still looks at Demetri like he hung the sun though
Ohhhhh Demetri just going RUTHLESSLY at Robby fills me with LIFE
Demetri Alexopoulos and Robby Keene mortal enemies WHEN
Still morbidly satisfying to see all that paralysis, shaving, and dojo-betraying beef explode out of my boy Demetri in one fell swoop
Oh shit!!! The head kick!!! The THROWDOWN!!! We are at last seeing a glimpsed of the unhinged Demetri I have craved for so long, keep being scary my love
DID HE JUST DO THE "COME AT ME BRO" HAND MOVEMENT
OH HE IS SO PISSED
Seeing this gay nerd be aggressive and intense as hell is ascending me into nirvana
He has found his inner craving for violence and destruction, and I think that's very valid of him
Truly he and Eli are kindred spirits in ways S1 Demetri never could have imagined
You gotta love some irony
He's gone from yeeting out of every bad situation to being like "this dude shaved off my boyfriend's gay-ass hairdo and now I'm going to beat him to kingdom come"
You know what that is? GROWTH
Poor Daniel though, he's like "Oh no :( :( :( My karate sons are fighting :( :( :("
This man has too many karate children
He was The Karate Kid ONE time and then he was like "Shit I'd better raise 5 more"
Okay, it needs to be said: The Anthony-apologizes-to-Kenny scene 400000000% reads like Anthony has just the BIGGEST FUCKING GAY CRUSH on Kenny
"Uh...hey dude...I...uh...saw your match out there...and ...uh...uh...I saw Robby compete last year..."
Literally have not spoken this way once in my entire life to someone I did not hope to eventually kiss
I WILL say that as of right now, I am unsure if said crush is reciprocated, but like...
Anthony LaRusso has got it BAD
"Tell me how it felt" "Well like...not...great?" Me tryna impress my crush with my fire empathy skills be like
*Watches Kenny punch the crap out of Anthony* Yeah okay that's fair
*Grabs face* "Get ready for high school next year, because you're gonna be in a world of pain :D" UM
That DEFINITELY had some not-very-straight undertones and I refuse to elaborate beyond that
Actually this could very well be the beginning of a mutual violence-peppered homoerotic obsession
All right, game fucking on
"Anthony are you okay?" "LEAVE ME ALONE" "I just--" "I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE" *yeets away at top speed* I mean yeah I'd react like that too if my crush just punched me in the stomach 30 times
Are Demetri and Eli sitting next to each other while the Sam-Tory semifinals are going on ;_;
I'm headcanoning that Eli is helping to patch Demetri up and is holding ice packs to his bruises and stuff and no one can stop me
"IT DIDN'T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY JOHNNY" Mr. John Kreese sir this is like the 5th time you've asked Johnny to join you, it ain't gonna happen
Kreese is really like the creepy friendzoned neckbeard guy who asked you out every few months in hopes you've magically changed your mind and are going to fall passionately in love with him
Like my dude just give it up already, it's never gonna happen
Local Evil Sensei Tries To Take A Jab At Former Student's Relationship With Adopted Son, Thinks It's Actually A Tactical Maneuver. More at 6
"Tonight, Cobra Kai's gonna die" YEAH YOU TELL HIM JOHNNY
ABSOLUTE CINEMA
Actually you know what??? Miguel actually LISTENED to his body and didn't push himself to the point of getting hurt, GOOD FOR HIM
Like everyone in this show takes this children's karate tournament too seriously and Miguel was like "this is all kinda bullshit actually"
PROUD OF HIM for doing something for himself and not to impress an adult!!!
MIGUEL AND SAMMMMMM
Ain't nothing can truly tear these wholesome karate straights apart ;___;
SAM'S IMMEDIATE CONCERN, AW
LOVE them bonding over their fathers/father figures being petty little bitches who are like "fight my way or Imma throw a fit wah wah"
"I just wanna let you know that..." *pained sigh* OH MY GOD HE WAS GONNA DROP AN "I LOVE YOU" WASN'T HE
OH LAWD
MY HEART CAN'T TAKE IT
"I'm always rooting for you, Sam" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (affectionate)
LOVELY KISS 12/10
It's just so soft and sweet and I
Yeah they're in love sorry, no matter what arbitrary conflicts the plot throws at them!!! They'll find a way!!!
THE WAY MIGUEL WATCHES HER GOOOOO AAAAAAAAA
Poor Gianni Decenzo, he has to deal with tumblr user demetriandelibinaryboyfriends doing an in-depth analysis of his every facial expression
For example, when Eli says "this is my chance to get back at Robby for what he did to me" Demetri is looking at my boy with literally more soft concern and love than I've ever seen in my life
L M A O Demetri actually looks like he frowns a little bit when Daniel says "this fight isn't about him"
Like "actually Eli I think you have every right to pound him into the ground"
Yeah Eli!!! Atta boy!!! Find balance and stuff!!!
Retain the essence of the gay little purple mohawk!!!
Not Demetri looking anxious as hell as Eli walks out onto the mat
Nothing new but I just think it's neat
"He trained at Miyagi Do way longer than me" *cue intensely concerned look from Demetri* Okay fr how has Demetri not gotten an anxiety attack yet, with all this worrying about Eli he's doing
Eli wailing on Robby to avenge the 'hawk!!! We love to see it!!!
Love that Eli lands a massive fucking kick in the middle of Robby's stomach and Demetri just starts clapping in the background, this fucker is so proud and impressed and is daydreaming about giving Eli Moskowitz a victory kiss actually
Demetri goes from looking anxious as fuck in the background to smiling whenever Eli lands a hit, this motherfucker's in love sorry
Damn Eli you really tryna rip this fucker's shirt off?
Like listen I know you'd like to see men topless but this is not the time nor the place
Besides, Demetri would gladly do it if you asked nicely
"Any advice on the last point?" *cut to Demetri looking up at Eli like he hung every last star in the sky* THIS IS UNFAIR
Gianni and Jacob need to STOP looking at each other Like That because I know nothing's going to happen with it and it is KILLING me
“Give him all you got” *world’s most dramatic swell of music like this is the most profound advice in existence* I can’t with this show, it’s so fucking ridiculous (affectionate)
Okay yes it's been said many times before but they can't SERIOUSLY have Robby throw his gi to his girlfriend and then have Eli throw his gi to DEMETRI and NOT know damn well what that implies????
It's bad enough there's a shitton of Samiguel/Elimetri parallels, now there's Keenry parallels too????
Like what the fuck are you DOING with that if you don't want us to think these two are being foreshadowed to date??? Or like...be romantically involved in some way??? O_o
And uh...the way Eli looks Demetri dead in the eye and flexes/rolls his shoulders DOES NOT FUCKING HELP
Like what you doing showing off your body to Demetri like that??? What, you want him to touch it tenderly???
Absolutely loving Demetri's look of shock too, like "wAIT, HE'S INTO THIS??? HE'S ACTUALLY GAY FOR ME TOO???"
Took you long enough you IDIOT
Anyways so since Tory and Robby made out in a car and then Robby tossed Tory his gi, we can conclude that Eli and Demetri are going to make out in a car next season
Preferably while road tripping in Mexico looking for Miguel
Still a big fan of Demetri looking tense as hell in the background
I would have KILLED to get a more clear shot of Demetri's face when Robby had Eli pinned down and was about to punch him out
I'm betting he was fighting literally every instinct to run and save his mans
Demetri's face when Eli gets his shoulder hurt and winces in pain D:
FUCKING HELL
IF THEY DON'T WANT ME TO SHIP IT WHY DO THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER LIKE THEY'RE IN LOVE
Demetri RUNNING to him when he wins, HELP
HOW LOUDLY HE'S CHEERING AND CLAPPING WHEN ELI TAKES THE TROPHY
My GOD have I never seen Demetri that happy and proud <3
And y'all were saying Demetri resents Eli's mad fighting skills and is intimidated by his ass-kicking abilities??? Get fucked
LOVE how jazzed Chris is about Eli winning, it’s so fucking pure
Love how wholly the Miyagi-Dos in general have forgiven Eli, even if we barely got to see it D:
"YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH" my GOD does this poor traumatized bird boy deserve that win
HELL YEAH I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU, YOU FUNKY LITTLE HAWK MAN YOU
Real Keenry hours!!! Love how aware they are of each other's mental/emotional state and how quick they are to jump in and check in with each other
AMANDA AND TORY AAAAAAAAAA
Tory saying "thank you, I owe you" to Amanda is honestly a HUGE step, I'm proud of her! Accepting when other people want to help you and showing gratitude for it gives me hope she's on the way to a better headspace <3
Honestly good on Amanda for being so determined to help Tory! I'm with her, as juicy as the Sam-Tory rivalry is, I kind of hope that fight is gonna help end all the bullshit between them
Like they don't gotta be buddies but maybe they can like. Chill out with the trying to beat the crap out of each other and whatnot
Could it be??? Daniel and Johnny??? APOLOGIZING??? And admitting each other's karate and karate-teaching styles don't totally suck???
IT'S ABOUT FUCKING TIME
Like don't get me wrong, I'm irked as hell that it took this long, but better late than never
I CAN'T BELIEVE MIYAGI FANG IS CANON
FANSERVICE???
BUT AMAZING FANSERVICE
KARATE HUSBANDS BACK TOGETHER
When Sam's getting ready to fight, Demetri and Eli are talking in the background and Eli's just got this pure sweet little smile on his face ;__;
And Demetri's grinning at him too, probably telling him what a good job he did!!! I CRI
Y'know I warned y'all that I was gonna see these two standing next to each other and claim they were in love, and I was right
"Bonsai Badass" Damn right she is!!!
DANIEL CORRECTING THE ANNOUNCER THAT JOHNNY'S ALSO A TWO-TIME CHAMP AWWWWWWW
Is the show finally gonna let these two be homoerotic friends instead of homoerotic rivals????
One can only hope
I love Dem and Eli smiling and clapping proudly in the background when Johnny gets announced as a two-time AVT champ, like...that may be a disaster idiot chaos Sensei, but god damn it, that's our disaster idiot chaos Sensei!!!
LIVING for Sam and Johnny's relationship and I'd BETTER see more of it in Season 5, dammit!!!
JUST!!! The casual "all right LaRusso, you ready to kick some ass?" Like he has so much faith in her that he's not even really MODERATELY concerned about her not kicking ass. Iconic
"YES SENSEI!!! If...that's okay with my other sensei?" I am Dead
DANIEL GIVING SAM HIS BLESSING TO KICK ASS, LEGENDARY
Demetri and Eli being interested in the Sam-Tory fight in the background, but not looking like they're feeling the same kind of mind-numbing anxiety that they had to when they watched each other fight D:
ELI JUST CARRYING HIS HUGE-ASS TROPHY AROUND
AND PUTTING IT IN FRONT OF HIM WHERE EVERYONE CAN SEE
Mohawk or no, there's definitely a Cocky Fuck streak in this boy and I love that for him
It's a super brief shot but Eli's face when Sam scores a point is ADORABLE
Samantha LaRusso and Eli Moskowitz chaotic battle besties WHEN?
I'm telling you, Sam, Eli, Demetri, and Miguel would be such a perfectly balanced (heh, geddit, BALANCE? Like Miyagi-Do???) squad
Like Eli and Sam would be the chaotic troublemakers and Demetri and Miguel are the tired-but-loyal good bois who try very hard to keep their significant others out of trouble
But occasionally Sam is a bad influence on Miguel and/or Eli is a bad influence on Demetri, and shenanigans occur ~"Your dad's right, every now and then" PLEASE
They are HUSBANDS
He's basically just saying "Mind your other father!" and it's EXCELLENT
I can't believe Samantha LaRusso has TWO karate dads now
It's honestly what she deserves
AW, Tory's genuine guilt over elbowing Sam D:
She's growing!!! I'm proud of her!!!
OHOOHOO THE EVIL KARATE HUSBANDS ARE FIGHTING AGAIN
SO SPICY
Ooooooohhhhh I am a BIG fan of that music that plays while Tory is circling Sam!!! Zesty AF!!!
DEMETRI BEING WORRIED IN THE BACKGROUND WHEN SAM GETS STOMACH-KICKED
Man poor Demetri, he's had to watch basically all of his friends get they asses beat in one afternoon
Except for Moon
And she kissed his crush so like
Still not a good time for our boy
"Hey, you all right?" *sobbing*
YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS??? GROWTH
I'm so proud of Tory!!! Last season she was being a little shit but now she's my daughter and I love her!
Happy for her for winning that trophy!!! Like as much as I wanted Sam to win, Tory's had a rough go of it pretty much her whole life and it's awesome that she knows now that there's something she's unquestionably amazing at ;_;
AW JOHNNY RUBBING SAM'S BACK
THAT'S HIMS DAUGHTER
EMOTIONAL
Terry Silver being menacing and wreaking mayhem, love it
"What's an Uber" JOHNNY ABDUOZYLVCVWD
TORY'S FACE WHEN SHE FINDS OUT THE REF WAS BRIBED, NOOOOOOOO
YOOOOO this show knows how to make BITCHIN' night city shots
Okay you know what??? I wasn't really rooting for a Johnny-Robby reconciliation because Robby ain't obligated to forgive the most deadbeat dad in the world but FUCK
That hug scene was sweet, I'll admit it ;__;
"You had a good thing going with LaRusso and then I got in the way" YEAH SAY IT
You know what??? At least he's owning up to it
Hope for Daniel-Robby reconciliation??? Hope for Daniel-Robby reconciliation!
TERRY YOU SNAKE IN THE GRASS
No pun intended heh heh
Tfw you're getting too caught up in your gay crush, so you get him arrested so he can't distract you anymore
We've all been there, amirite???
Honestly good for him though, Kreese WAS being a shit to him
Always down for evil karate husbands drama!
Get fucked John Kreese, enjoy jail you big loser
I can't believe Terry Fucking Silver is running the karate scene in the valley now
Does this mean Demetri and Eli will finally get to dramatically protect each other next season
I sure fucking hope so
WAAAAAAH CITY NIGHT SHOTS
LOSING MY MIND
Am I easily impressed? Yes, and it makes my life tremendously better than it would be if I had high standards
NOOOOO MIGUEL DON'T GO YOU HAVE SO MANY PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU SO MUCH
What you need another dad for??? You've already got not one but TWO karate dads, smh
Although in fairness I get wanting to define himself outside of karate, since he more or less MADE karate his identity for like...2 years
"Don't worry I'll be safe" YOU'RE A 17 YEAR OLD DUDE ALONE IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY YOU'VE NEVER BEEN TO TRAVELING BY BUS I AM NOT REASSURED
YEAH JOHNNY GO GET YOUR KARATE SON PLEASE
Take Demetri, Eli, and Sam while you're at it!!! That's their boy and they love him!!!
I feel like at LEAST Sam is gonna twist his arm until he lets her tag along
And then Dem and Eli are gonna follow him anyways XD
Yeah yeah something something "they have to participate in the karate war!" Okay but have you considered that I want them to go on a homoerotic road trip of self-discovery to find their bestie?
AH HEY WHAT UP CHOZEN MY MAN
I guess you could say he’s been...chozen to help
The Bad:
Whilst Demetri becoming Mildly Unhinged during his Robby fight is excellent, I would like to see him be even more unhinged
Like take that unhinged and multiply it by at least 3
I just think Mr. Demetri Alexopoulos should get to become extremely angry and scary and freak out the entirety of the AVT audience with his rage
As a treat
I know I have said this before but I truly cannot emphasize it enough
Also that fight was over way too damn fast, like
While I understand why Dem lost, I wanted him to wail on Robby for at least twice as long before he got beat
Johnny nagging Miguel to keep fighting after his back acts up??? Mmmmmm I don't like this, I don't like this at all
It just feels kinda icky and OOC??? Like I feel like Johnny would NEVER push Miguel to fight if there was a chance he could get seriously hurt again, like
Miguel breaking his back and getting paralyzed FUCKED Johnny up, I feel like he'd freak out if there was like...even a SMALL chance that injury could relapse and Miguel could get seriously hurt again
Like I feel like (especially since he's dating Carmen now) he'd go into Overprotective Dad Mode like "NO if your back is acting up you gotta go home because I am NOT letting you get hurt again"
Like yes I know the dojo's at stake here, but like...I still think ultimately Johnny would value Miguel's safety more???
Oh my god is her seriously bringing his petty Daniel beef into this???
Y'ALL SHOULD SERIOUSLY BE OVER THIS NONSENSE BY NOW
Smdh
I don't know whether to laugh or cry over the fact that this show genuinely thinks that occasionally panning to a shot of Moon cheering and clapping for Eli is going to make us ship them
Like Demetri is also cheering and clapping for Eli and we get like 10x as many shots of it so idk what to tell you
I think Hawk should have tried to tear Demetri's shirt off during one of their S2 or S3 fights
I think that would've been funny
Like why does Robby get the shirt-tearing treatment but Demetri never did, when Demetri's the one Hawk is painfully horny for???
I'd like to speak to management
Okay listen if the throwing-gi-to-SO parallel with Keenry AND the looking-Demetri-dead-in-the-eyes-and-flexing bit both turn out to just be even more egregious queerbaiting I am going to murder someone
Like you don't just accidentally make that many gay writing choices
I have a bad feeling these fuckers are leading us all on for Potential Diversity Points and I'm gonna smack a bitch over it
LET THE KARATE NERDS DATE
Ffs Eli covered up his Moon tattoo with a GRIM REAPER TATTOO, if this isn't the PERFECT narrative symbolism for that relationship being dead!!!
LET IT STAY DEAD!!!
Man I'm getting fired up again
I should start martial arts up again so I can kick and punch and elbow my queerbaiting anger away
Mentioned earlier but hey Mr. Cobra Kai sir??? It is an actual CRIME that we did not get to see Demetri's face when Eli was pinned down and about to be KO'ed with a big boi punch
Was he terrified??? Was he brutally enraged and ready to commit murder??? Was he both??? FUCKING TELL ME
Look as much as I love Chris and I love him bear-hugging Eli
I'm gonna say it, it should have been Demetri
Why will this show not let these two have just the biggest fucking bear hug??? Are y'all worried it's gonna look too gay????
Really far too late to cover your bases there
Also I need my headcanon to be fed that Demetri is stingy with physical affection with everyone except for Eli
Anyways if this show ain't gonna let Demetri and Eli kiss the LEAST they can do is give me a very long and very warm hug!!!
Lmfao there's Moon again
What, like she can't cheer for her friends platonically??? Fuck all the way OFF, the fact that she is not allowed to be a platonic cheerleader for both Dem and Eli is character assassination actually
Look I just think Demetri should have been allowed to give Eli one (1) victory smooch in front of the entire AVT audience after Eli won
Maybe even two!!!
TELL me that shit wouldn't have been poetic fucking cinema
Like talk about a way to restore Eli's confidence!!!
“I'm proud of you and I'm proud to love you and I'm going to show both of these things off to the entire world actually”
Bonus points if Demetri lifts up Eli with his absurd upper body strength like in that one behind the scenes pic
And just lets Eli sit on his hands while they smooch basically
Like just an AVT karate champion and his adoring boyfriend who would do anything for him, don't mind them
Anyways Demetri has been like...infinitely more actively supportive of Eli's karate endeavors and Eli in general this season than Moon
Like he is fucking THERE for Eli through everything and helps and encourages him throughout the tournament and tells him that he is Better Than He Thinks He Is and is SO DAMN PROUD of him when he wins
Meanwhile Moon had like...two polite exchanges with him over the course of an ENTIRE SEASON and she was mildly friendly and encouraging, so they HAVE to date I guess
Anyways it's some bullshit
I hate this ship so much
Whilst I am THRILLED that Daniel and Johnny are reconciling and teaming up again, I am BEYOND frustrated that it took this damn long
"Just for today" Why tho??? Ya'll fuckers have CLEARLY seen that the kids benefit from learning both styles and combining them, so why not make this combined dojo learning business a semi-regular thing???
I get being this stubborn and insistent about your karate method back in like...S1 and S2
But these dudes should really be over this by now
Like have y'all writers heard of CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT???
LET JOHNNY AND DANIEL GROW PAST THEIR STUPID SHALLOW RIVALRY AND LET IT ACTUALLY STICK
So I get Kreese finally starting to feel a little bad about what he did to Johnny, but like...that alone isn't supposed to redeem him, right??? RIGHT???
Like having him not be 100% evil and giving him a redeeming/humanizing trait is all fine and good, BUT
That alone isn't enough to make up for like...50+ years of fuckery and being generally a rancid piece of shit
Anyways happy this fucker's in jail now actually
Wish he coulda taken his ex-husband with him, but I guess you can't have everything
I'm really happy for Tory but I'm still bummed Sam didn't get that win D:
I stan both of these queens now and I have a feeling it's going to make my life a lot harder
Mmmmmm Kyler's arm around Kenny in the background, don't like it don't like it don't like it don't like it one bit
DON'T TOUCH MY BOY
Okay, if no one else is gonna say it, then I will: The hug and Robby breakdown scene should've been between Daniel and Robby
Like Robby!!! My darling!!! My love!!! WHY did you follow Johnny instead of Daniel if you wanted comfort??? This man has been MIA for most of your life and is flaky and unreliable as all hell
Like yes Daniel could easily still be pissed at you but I feel like he would work with you if he saw you were genuinely Going Through It
Anyways it makes a lot more logical and narrative sense for Robby to follow and try to reconcile with Daniel actually
"I'm sick of blaming you, dad" Okay, but consider: He's been an extremely crappy dad and you can and should blame him for it
If anything it should be like "I'm sick of blaming Miguel" or something, because this whole mess between Johnny and Robby is truly and wholly NOT Miguel's fault
Like, again, it's not on Miguel if Johnny just feels more of a connection with him than Robby
Okay but where is Robby in the last scene??? Does he live with Johnny now??? Did he leave Cobra Kai??? Is he still crashing at the dojo or what??? I NEED to know
I'm sure we'll find out next season but logistically it is BUGGING me
So like. While I understand why he did it, I'm still upset that Miguel just yeeted off to Mexico without telling most of his loved ones???
Like what of your girlfriend??? Your two best friends??? Your karate dad #2 Daniel LaRusso??? They all love you very much and they're all going to be worried sick about you!!! For shame!!!
And even the people who DO know where you are are gonna be worried out of their minds!!! For DOUBLE shame!!!
Going on a self-discovery road trip by yourself at age 17 in a foreign country and not letting most of your loving support system know where you vanished off to is VERY rude, Miguel
This dude deadass has two father figures already, what you need a third one for???
Like yes I get you're mad at your karate dads right now but they still love you!!! You should talk with them and explain how you're feeling and how you want to define yourself outside of karate instead of Ubering off into the sunset without a trace!!!
Also they barely did anything with Daniel's Terry Silver trauma so they can go full ham diving into it next season, right??? RIGHT???
I can't believe you're making me wait until next season to see Demetri, Sam, and Eli's reaction to Miguel literally fleeing the country
pLEASE I just want them all to hold each other and have a good cry about it
I know I would!!!
In summary: Season 5 needs homoerotic road trips and for my boy Miguel Diaz to know and accept that he is very loved. Stay tuned for brand-new binary boyfriends headcanons, lesbian content, and me rambling about all the things I want to happen next season!!! It’s been real and very very gay, and I plan to give you even more gay as we go on!
#hawk x demetri#demetri x eli#binary boyfriends#hawkmeat#elimetri#eli x demetri#demetri x hawk#eli moskowitz#hawk#demetri alexopoulos#demetri cobra kai#robby keene#johnny lawrence#john kreese#daniel larusso#miguel diaz#samantha larusso#sam larusso#samiguel#anthony larusso#kenny payne#anthenny#tory nichols#keenry#kyler park#moon cobra kai#amanda larusso#terry silver#cobra kai#cobra kai season 4
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MERLIN CHALLENGE 2020
Day Thirteen - Favourite Cast Member
Katie & Julian in 5x13 commentary
I know this is a very big stretch from the theme, but Katie and Julian in this commentary were honestly iconic. Includes: mentions of bondage, incest, so, so much subtext and just a horrendous amount of queerbaiting. I’ve compiled a list of the funniest/most important exchanges below the line.
At the start of the commentary:
J: There are no homoerotic undertones to Merlin of any kind.
K: I think so. I mean, whenever I played any scenes with Millie it was always straight in my mind.
J: No, there are definitely lesbian undertones in those.
When Merlin tells Arthur he has magic:
J: It's a very beautiful moment between two men. [Katie tries to hold her laughter]
K: ...You are not helping this commentary at all, by the way, Julian.
J: No, I'm not.
K: I think you possibly have been waiting for the sixty-five episodes to do this one commentary.
J: Yes. I've always been a bit more serious in the previous ones.
K: No he hasn't, actually.
Also in this scene:
J: ...On no level is magic metaphorical in this show.
K: It's funny, because I don't actually feel like you're being sincere.
J: I'm always sincere.
K: You're the exec. You are never sincere.
J: Believe me, I'm a fountain of truth and honesty.
K: Julian is lying right now. Lying.
When Gwen is back in the castle and Leon reports to her that Arthur is still missing:
J: We've gone to the spurned wife who wants to know where her husband is.
K: But she has Sir Leon. Why would she need...?
J: Ah... Well you see, that's another undercurrent in Merlin, isn't it?
K: Sir Leon?
J: Sir Leon.
K: Oh no. It's definitely-
J: Sir Leon and Gwen.
Also in this scene:
K: ...We know that you never gave me any love interests.
J: I gave you Morgause.
K: [She laughs] He says -- in all seriousness!
J: Incestuous lesbianism. What more can you want?
K: You cannot make a show without lesbianism, in all fairness.
J: It's gotta be said.
Also in this scene:
K: I do worry about you guys, actually. I worry that there are men sitting in a room with Merlin just trying to come up with the most ridiculous scenes that they could get past the BBC.
J: That's...
K: He's nodding.
J: Not true.
K: He is nodding! He's nodding -- it's so true!
J: It's a family show.
K: Not in your head.
When Arthur tells Gaius Merlin is a sorcerer:
K: Did Gaius know?
J: What, that he was a sorcerer?
K: That's not what I asked. About the undertones.
J: No, Richard would never think of anything like that.
K: You're right, he's a gentleman.
J: He's a gentleman... A man of genuine innocence.
When Arthur gives Gaius the royal seal:
K: The seal... He's passing the mantle to the woman-
J: Yep. That's the last vestige of his heterose-- I mean, sorry. That's the last vestige of his marriage--
K: Oh my god! [They laugh] This has descended to a level. I mean, I thought I was bad in these - playing up - but I have got nothing on Julian Murphy here. I think we should just throw it all out the window.
J: The way we directed the scene where Gaius tells Gwen is basically the thing of it.
K: I think you must just think of most of these scenes in this episode (as the thing of it), if you don't go-
J: It always helps, I swear.
K: You know, he ain't lying again. He has told me this.
J: If you want to find the emotional truth of it, it does help.
When Gaius comes back to Camelot and talks to Gwen:
J: That's a tricky one for Gaius to explain - why he's not come back to his wife.
K: You-- You're seeing an entirely different show here than a lot of people, aren't you?
J: Yeah, I know. I do.
When.... er, Julian describes it better:
J: This is the scene where Merlin feeds Arthur... I'll just let that hang in the air.
K: I will input what I can. Alex Vlahos is lost in laughter listening to this. He can't quite believe what's coming out of your mouth.
J: It's actually quite a moving scene.
K: And yet that's not what you want to comment on.
And uh, yeah... another one:
J: Now Merlin is giving Arthur a drink.
K: I think he's just giving him a drink there.
J: Yes. They just spend the whole episode on this journey. It's quite simple.
K: Feeding each other?
J: The feeding thing, I think, is in your mind, Katie.
K: You just said it then. I'm just repeating back to you what you said. Don't try and blame this on me! For a start, you guys came up with the episodes!
When Gwaine and Percival are attacking Morgana:
J: This entire sequence is actually a homage to Tom's arms.
When Morgana has tied them up:
J: Oh, Katie. You've tied up the man again.
K: I know. I just like them where I want them, you know. I don't want them to go far.
J: And as you say, thousands of girls watching Merlin want them in that position.... You've tied them both up!
K: Well, like I said - I don't want them to run away when I want them.
When Merlin uses his magic to lead Saxons on a false trail:
[Arthur: All these years Merlin, and you never once sought any credit.
Merlin: That's not why I do it.]
K: Liar!
J: Well, he knows.
K: What are you--
J: You can never be too sure about these things.
K: It's all the meaningful glances now after this DVD commentary that I'm just going--
J: I should say that Katie, just before we wrote this episode, insisted that it ended with a kiss between Arthur and Merlin.
K: That is not what I said. That's what you put into it. I had the most amazing ending.... My ending, which you didn't use, which I thought would have been amazing, is -- Arthur. Mortally wounded on the battlefield. Merlin comes up and cradles him in his arms. Merlin to Arthur: I have magic. Arthur takes his face in his hands: I know. I think I've always known.
When Arthur and Merlin rest for an hour:
[Arthur: Whatever happens--
Merlin: Shh. Don't talk.
Arthur: I'm the king, Merlin. You can't tell me what to do.]
K: Awww
[Merlin: I always have. I'm not going to change now.]
K: [laughs] oh my god....
[Arthur: I don't want you to change.]
K: [continues laughing] Do you know how much trouble we're going to get in from people saying this was a beautiful moment and all you guys can do is laugh?
J: Well I think you need to have both sides of it. And to be fair, we did genuinely think of the episode as a love story between two men. That's what I think it is. Jokes aside and innuendos aside, I remember talking to Justin and saying that's what it's about.
K: You can't deny that Merlin and Arthur love each other. On whatever love way you want to think. There is no denying it.
J: I think it's a purer love than you, say, had for your sister.
K: You say I had for my sister. [Julian laughs] Ok. I don't know how you read that into it.
J: No. We'll stop there.
K: Oh, we won't.
When Morgana rides her horse through the woods:
K: More Katie galloping.
J: I think you did that just so you could see my boobs.
K: I definitely didn't.
When The Scene happens:
J: Now we're nearing the moment. I'll show you where exactly I'd pick is the...
K: ...where it's all been building to -- almost sixty-five hours of TV. Special moment.
... [Arthur: Just hold me, please.]
J: There you are.
K: [gasps] I can't believe you put that in.
J: Well I think it's... you know, he's dying. The man he loves is dying, so he's holding him.
K: I don't think that's what you meant at all when you put that line.
J: It is!
Shameless trivialisation of ruining everyone’s holiday:
J: I don't know how the nation's gonna feel on christmas eve, but anyway.
K: Yeah, it's kind of a downer.
Katie being literally everyone in the Merlin fandom:
[Kilgharrah: No man, no matter how great, can know his destiny.]
K: Hold on a second here, hasn't the dragon been telling him his destiny this entire time?
J: Yeah, but that's the sort of annoying comment that people make when they're not just going with the flow.
K: Oh really? Oh really, is it? [they laugh] Fine then!
#no edits today#but it was enjoyable nontheless#this is the only commentary I've listened to#will listen to the others if i get time#bbc merlin#merlinchallenge2020#katie mcgrath#julian murphy
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I wrote 2.5k words about Tolkien, WWI, Le Morte d’Arthur, the Iliad and Odyssey, and more, all bundled happily in an essay about queer subtext in the Lord of the Rings revolving around the relationship between Sam and Frodo. I posted about this before, and someone asked me to post the essay, so here it is!
Homoerotic Subtext in the Lord of the Rings
In June of 1916, J. R. R. Tolkien shipped out from England to France to join his comrades on the Western Front. In July, he would participate in one of the bloodiest struggles of World War 1, the Battle of the Somme. Just a month later, he would be struck with Trench Fever, placing him in convalescence or behind a desk for the remainder of the war. Though his front-line experience was short, there is no denying the effect that the war and the loss of his closest friends had on Tolkien, nor the influence it had on his writing in the post-war years. Much has been written on that topic already. However, there is one aspect of Tolkien’s time in the service which is underexplored when it comes to the literary critique of his legendarium – of which the Lord of the Rings is but a piece – and that is his exposure to the widespread homoerotic attitudes which were a common undercurrent in the British armed forces during that time.
Homosexuality has always been an overlooked behavior on the front during wartime, even as it passed from common practice to taboo. One reason for this might be that people who are worried about being shot to death in a trench have other things to worry about besides who their mates might be kissing. Another might be that facing death brings a greater appreciation for love to the front of the mind, and it does not matter which gender that appreciation is directed towards. As a result, we find many examples in literature and letters of men expressing chaste but deep homoerotic love for other men. In The Great War and Modern Memory, Paul Fussel writes that in WWI-era battlefield poetry, one could not fail to notice ‘the unique physical tenderness, the readiness to admire openly the bodily beauty of young men, the unapologetic recognition that men may be in love with each other.’ (303). “War poetry has the subversive tendency to be our age’s love poetry.” he quotes Richard Fein. In that case, we must examine war literature for the same sentiments.
Most common in officers towards their men, we find ‘something more like the “idealistic,” passionate but non-physical “crushes” which most of the officers had experienced at public school. … What inspired such passions was — as always — faunlike good looks, innocence, vulnerability, and “charm.” The object was mutual affection, protection, and admiration.’ (Fussel 295) This makes sense, as ‘the tradition in Victorian homosexuality and homoeroticism [is] that soldiers are especially attractive. What makes them so is their youth, their athleticism, their relative cleanliness, their uniforms, and their heroic readiness, like Adonis or St. Sebastian, for “sacrifice.”’ (Fussel 302) In the Lord of the Rings, we find Frodo described as ‘taller than some and fairer than most, and he has a cleft in his chin: perky chap with a bright eye.’ (Tolkien 163). At his coming-of-age birthday party, he inherits the great evil that is the One Ring from his great uncle; he is an unintentional sacrificial lamb. Later, when he volunteers to take the One Ring to Mt. Doom knowing that it is likely a one-way trip if he can even make it that far, we find in our protagonist a young, beautiful, self-sacrificing hero.
Fussel writes that ‘although the usual course of protective affection was from superior to subordinate, sometimes the direction was reversed, with men developing hero-worshipping crushes on their young officers.’ (297) Enter Frodo’s counterpart and co-protagonist, Samwise Gamgee. Tolkien wrote in a 1956 letter to a fan that “My ‘Samwise’ is indeed (as you note) largely a reflexion [sic] of the English soldier—grafted on the village-boys of early days, the memory of the privates and my batmen that I knew in the 1914 War, and recognized as so far superior to myself.” (Letter 187)
A batman, in military parlance, was a soldier who, as well as fighting, oversaw an officer’s kit, cooking, and cleaning. (Garth) However, Sam is so much more than Frodo’s servant, though they start the journey as master of the house and gardener. Sam shows an incredible dedication to Frodo that cannot be explained as mere class-based loyalty. Take this passage from Return of the King when the enemy has captured Frodo. The Hobbits are separated, and Sam is up against what seems like impossible odds – faced with the task of raiding an entire tower he assumes is filled with enemies, alone, armed only with a short sword. He does not even know where Frodo is or if he is still alive:
‘… Except for that little frightened rat, I do believe there’s nobody left alive in the place!’
And with that he stopped, brought up hard, as if he had hit his head against the stone wall. The full meaning of what he had said struck him like a blow. Nobody left alive! Whose had been that horrible dying shriek? ‘Frodo, Frodo! Master!’ he cried, half sobbing. ‘If they’ve killed you, what shall I do? Well, I’m coming at last, right to the top, to see what I must.’ (Tolkien 887)
… He cared no longer for Shagrat or Snaga or any other orc that was ever spawned. He longed only for his master, for one sight of his face or one touch of his hand. (Tolkien 889)
Besides demonstrating Sam’s willingness to face certain death rather than leave Frodo, this passage is a perfect illustration of another one of Tolkien’s literary inspirations besides the Great War. Tolkien was a scholar of European mythology, drawing inspiration for his legendarium from epic myths like the Old English Beowulf and the Finnish Kalevala. Read the following lines from Le Morte d’Arthur regarding King Arthur’s death:
Then Sir Bedivere cried: Ah my lord Arthur, what shall become of me, now ye go from me and leave me here alone among mine enemies? … And as soon as Sir Bedivere had lost the sight of the barge, he wept and wailed, and so took the forest… (Mallory, Book 21 ch. V.)
Alas, said Sir Bedivere, that was my lord King Arthur, that here lieth buried in this chapel. Then Sir Bedivere swooned; and when he awoke he prayed the hermit he might abide with him still there, to live with fasting and prayers. For from hence will I never go, said Sir Bedivere, by my will, but all the days of my life here to pray for my lord Arthur. (Mallory, Book 21 ch. VI.)
These Medieval warrior relationships themselves draw from an even older literary tradition, one with not so much covert homoerotism but overt homosexuality. Ancient homosexual pederastic relationships like that of Alexander and Hephaestion or Achilles and Patroclus form the model for many close male warrior literary relationships. Compare Achilles’ reaction to Patroclus’ death in the Iliad to that of Bedivere to Arthur’s and Sam to Frodo’s:
A dark cloud of grief fell upon Achilles as he listened. He filled both hands with dust from off the ground, and poured it over his head, disfiguring his comely face, and letting the refuse settle over his shirt so fair and new. He flung himself down all huge and hugely at full length, and tore his hair with his hands. … Antilochus bent over him the while, weeping and holding both Achilles’ hands as he lay groaning for Antilochus feared that Achilles might plunge a knife into his own throat. (Homer, Book XVIII)
Near-suicidal grief at the loss of the beloved is a common theme between the three of them. Achilles lives to avenge Patroclus, Bedivere lives to pray for Arthur’s soul, and Sam, as luck and Tolkien would have it, lives to save Frodo, who was not dead after all, though it was a close thing. Sam’s joy at finding Frodo alive is as poignant as his grief at having thought he lost him – unashamed physical affection and more tears follow the discovery of his master.
[Frodo] was naked, lying as if in a swoon on a heap of filthy rags: his arm was flung up, shielding his head, and across his side there ran an ugly whip-weal.
‘Frodo! Mr. Frodo, my dear!’ cried Sam, tears almost blinding him. ‘It’s Sam, I’ve come!’ He half lifted his master and hugged him to his breast.
…
‘Well, you have now, Sam, dear Sam,’ said Frodo, and he lay back in Sam’s gentle arms, closing his eyes, like a child at rest when night-fears are driven away by some loved voice or hand.
Sam felt he could sit like that in endless happiness; but it was not allowed. It was not enough for him to find his master, he had still to try and save him. He kissed Frodo’s forehead. (Tolkien 889)
Tolkien’s earlier description of Sam as a combination of village boy and batman fits neatly with Fussel’s declaration that ‘to the degree that front-line homoeroticism was sentimental it can be seen to constitute another element of pastoral.’ (Fussel 300) In the Lord of the Rings, the Shire – Sam and Frodo’s home – represents the ultimate ideal of Pastoralism. In the Shire, Hobbits live community-focused rural lives with minimal conflict, drinking and feasting and partying, with little to no exposure to more advanced societies of the East. In that light, the entire quest of the Lord of the Rings can be seen as a removal from the Pastoral – the world becomes darker, less hospitable, and less natural the further East the Hobbits travel until they reach their end goal: a blighted, unnatural wasteland dominated by machinery.
As Frodo falls further and further under the sway of the One Ring, he forgets the Shire. He loses his connection to his pastoral home. Nevertheless, ever at his side is his loyal Sam, who recalls even in the darkest moments the comforts of home. Sam is Frodo’s link to the pastoral ideal when his suffering is the greatest. Sam’s yearning for the pastoral often comes up in the form of recalling Frodo as he was in the Shire. This is exemplified by the following passage near the end of their quest, just after the One Ring has been destroyed:
‘Well, this is the end, Sam Gamgee,’ said a voice by his side. And there was Frodo, pale and worn, and yet himself again; and in his eyes there was peace now, neither strain of will, nor madness, nor any fear. His burden was taken away. There was the dear master of the sweet days in the Shire.
‘Master!’ cried Sam, and fell upon his knees. In all that ruin of the world for the moment he felt only joy, great joy. The burden was gone. His master had been saved; he was himself again, he was free. (Tolkien 926)
While Sam represents and thus easily returns to an idyllic pastoral existence after the war, Frodo remains haunted by his experiences. Finally, we reach the real end of Frodo and Sam’s journey, the temporary separation before the eternal unification. Frodo and Sam go to see off Frodo’s uncle, and there Frodo reveals he will be passing into the West as well – a form of eternal life in Middle Earth, but one that is forever separate from the rest of the world:
‘Where are you going, Master?’ cried Sam, though at last he understood, what was happening.
‘To the Havens, Sam,’ said Frodo.
‘And I can’t come.’
‘No, Sam. Not yet anyway, not further than the Havens. Though you too were a Ring-bearer, if only for a little while. Your time may come. Do not be too sad, Sam. You cannot be always torn in two. You will have to be one and whole, for many years. You have so much to enjoy and to be, and to do.’
‘But,’ said Sam, and tears started in his eyes, ‘I thought you were going to enjoy the Shire, too, for years and years, after all you have done.’
‘So I thought too, once. But I have been too deeply hurt, Sam. I tried to save the Shire, and it has been saved, but not for me. It must often be so, Sam, when things are in danger: some one has to give them up, lose them, so that others may keep them. But you are my heir: all that I had and might have had I leave to you. … You will … keep alive the memory of the age that is gone, so that people will remember the Great Danger and so love their beloved land all the more.’ (Tolkien 1006)
Here we see Frodo acknowledge that this separation splits Sam’s spirit – part of Sam goes to his home and family, but part always goes with Frodo. Frodo encourages him to live the rest of his life fully in the Shire, and when the time has come, he can reunite with Frodo in the ‘afterlife.’ Contrast this to Patroclus’ final request of Achilles in the Iliad:
“One prayer more will I make you, if you will grant it; let not my bones be laid apart from yours, Achilles, but with them; … let our bones lie in but a single urn, the two-handled golden vase given to you by your mother.” (Homer, Book XXIII)
Furthermore, the resolution in the Odyssey, as Odysseus reassures Achilles that his will was done:
Your mother brought us a golden vase to hold them—gift of Bacchus, and work of Vulcan himself; in this we mingled your bleached bones with those of Patroclus who had gone before you… (Homer, Book XXIV)
Return of the King ends with Sam riding home with a heavy heart to his family after watching Frodo’s ship depart to the West. Like the Iliad and Odyssey, we must read a bit further to determine what eventually happens with Frodo and Sam. The Lord of the Rings has a massive amount of supplementary material, including maps and family trees. In Appendix B, we find a chronology of the years before, during, and after the main novels. It reveals that at age 96, after the death of his wife, Samwise rides out to the Havens and passes over the Great Sea to unite with Frodo for the final time.
Queerness is often overlooked in serious examinations of literature, especially when the voices of cishet men dominate the discussion, as they do in Tolkien scholarship. Tolkien scholars have repeatedly dismissed the idea of homoeroticism in Tolkien’s works as silly fangirls making things gay for titillation, which erases queer voices and condemns queerness to the realm of the unrealistic and ahistorical.
I have been a fan of the Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit since I was queer child struggling with gender identity and sexual attraction. In sixth grade, I received my first copy of the Lord of the Rings, and I read it voraciously until the pages started to fall out. Although I did not fully recognize the homoerotic undertones back then, I still yearned for the deep, lasting, emotionally fulfilling, and life-changing same-sex relationships I saw in those books. Even 20 years later, as a queer adult, the idea that I might share something so intensely personal with my heroes is vitally important to me. J. R. R. Tolkien died in 1973. He was a devout Catholic who maintained a lasting friendship with a gay poet and spoke with great esteem of a novel about gay men written by a lesbian; one can hardly imagine what he might have said about the idea of queer subtext in his writing. But if I, a queer reader, recognize some essential part of myself in Sam or Frodo, if I see my bonds in their bond, is that not enough to warrant an entrance into the discussion and serious consideration? Whether you see their relationship as a purely platonic friendship or a great romance of the ages, Sam and Frodo are in love.
Works Cited
Fussel, Paul. The Great War and Modern Memory. Oxford University Press, 2013
Garth, John. “Sam Gamgee and Tolkien’s batmen.” 13 February 2013, [msg for link].
Homer. The Iliad. Translated by Samuel Butler. Project Gutenberg, 2000. [msg for link].
Homer. The Odyssey. Translated by Samuel Butler. Project Gutenberg, 1999. [msg for link].
Malory, Thomas. Le Morte d’Arthur, edited by Caxton, William, and Sir Edward Strachey. Project Gutenberg, 2014. [msg for link].
Tolkien, J. R. R. “Letter 187.” The Letters of J.R.R. Tolkien, edited by Tolkien, Christopher, and Humphrey Carpenter. Houghton Mifflin, 1981.
—. The Lord of the Rings. HarperCollinsPublishers, 1994.
#lord of the rings#lotr#queer theory#queer academia#sam x frodo#samfrodo#samfro#is that the tumblr shipname?#if u wanna cite this anywhere now that i'm officially publishing it (by posting it) u absolutely can#but please credit me as Alex Kakela and not arkaniis lmfao
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The Untamed Liveblog
Yes hello I watched the whole thing and wrote down some of my thoughts and feelings along the way so I wouldn’t fuckign EXPLODE! Only look under the cut if you’re prepared for a truly outrageous amount of rambling (...no really)
- I am elated to find that so far every adaptation I’ve seen has faithfully preserved the absolutely bizarre structure of the original book, I am appreciating the dedication haha
- the actor lends this version of lan wangji such an edge of youth and vulnerability right from the beginning, it breaks my heart. I don’t care how good he is with a sword, you can’t expose this pure sweet boy to the horrors of war!!!
- I am so glad I already know who all these characters are and wtf is going on, I can’t imagine watching this first time without that knowledge lol
- I love how they’ve made nie huaisang look so small and soft next to all the other cultivator, he looks like a floofy and eternally confused baby birb ;______;
- nhs citing the goldfinch as the reason he doesn’t want to die (presumably because no one will know to take care of it) TOT ur meant to be comic relief in this part of the story buddy you can’t make me cry like this yet!!!
(also the actor for wwx effortlessly sliding into being protective and reassuring and Good in a crisis. wonderful!)
- the actor for xue yang has chosen to go with the sexy baby school of evil acting normally associated with female villains and for that I can only applaud him
also setting up characters who are going to be important later on is something this show is doing better than the original haha, both the extra wen quing & ning and song lan & xiao xingcheng content is appreciated. (especially the latter suffered from ‘oh yeah those two -- actually wait who the fuck are these two again’ syndrome for me when I read the book. additional note: I am very sorry but clearly they are gay there’s no other explanation here)
- poor jiang cheng, they really haven’t given him much help in this huh. I would sort of have preferred it if they let him be ever so slightly less abrasive in the beginning, like in the book and the animated version; I’m not feeling quite as devastated over this relationship as I did in either of those.
- lan xichen’s soft knowing smile is a blessing every time. just a nice man. did not deserve this. protect.
- kudos to the actor for jin guangyao for the instinctive creeping unease I feel whenever he talks, even at this stage. he’s a wrong ‘un sir he’s a wrong ‘un
- y’know both the fact that nhs spent three days catching a bird and kept it with him undetected and that he’s the friend you go to for the good porn and managed to not only smuggle it into the cloud recesses but did so without getting caught... some wonderful subtle foreshadowing here (to make up for the very blatant visual foreshadowing that’s already been given out I assume lol)
- anyway lan ancestor lady and baoshan-sanren? gay. sad and gay. (I love how thoroughly wwx is getting to meet the in-laws btw lol how often do you have to meet your future spouse’s family from like three generations ago and take care of her rabbits for her after she’s gone, all before you even get to second base)
- fkadshfkasjdlhfsdjkfh the sheer consistency of nhs wistfully commenting on all the beautiful men surrounding him fsadfkjsdhfksd I think they might oh so subtly be hinting at some stuff here. HILARIOUS that this version, which has to maintain at least the veneer of some plausible homoerotic deniability, is a lot more overt about it than the book, which is free to be balls to the wall as gay as you please
- oh no nie mingjue just showed up my entire heart is on fire. BIG BROTHER!! so stern yet fair, so righteous, so worried y______y also can we talk about how his ‘hmmm I think imma stab it?’ approach to evil in general and xue yang in particular would have saved everyone a lot of grief later on? and he tells wwx the whole necromancy thing is probably not a good idea? (I really like how he does it too, he has so much Older Brother Energy it spills over when he talks to other kids around huaisang’s age lol. it’s good that they show his temper isn’t indiscriminate at all, he’s not angry at wwx even though his idea is provably incredibly dangerous) sole ornery voice of reason nie mingjue, also did not deserve what’s about to happen, I cry and my tears are blood
- ‘yeah okay I get that you’re mad but have you maybe considered... I didn’t do it?’ is an unusually weak opening move from jgy considering nmj literally did just see him absolutely 100% do it
- there should be a WARNING at the beginning of episodes where nmj cries so one could be PREPARED for the emotional devastation!!!!! tollest & stronkest man of the cast also stupidly pretty and heartbreaking while crying, it’s not fair
- I love how every cultivation sect’s home (except for the wens b/c they’re cartoon villains) is refined and beautiful and luxurious, even when it’s in a restrained way like the lans’... and then there’s the nie place which is like ‘please understand that this is a fuckn fortress’
- aww this doomed jiang cheng/wen quing thing is cute! too bad about... everything that’s about to happen happening huh
- oh wen ning. very hilarious that he’s known as the ~*ghost general*~ forevermore when actually... he is baby... cinnamon roll baby... too good for this world, too pure...
- how is this cgi turtle somehow less egregious than the one in the animated version lol. I quite like this bad little friend! long neck.
- oh NO lan wangji finally letting himself show that he’s in pain when they’re in private... i’m uwu
this beautiful boy is so long and lanky tho, I must admit he triggers my parental instinct more than the hot boy alert at this stage (but that’s fine I’m not the one who’s going to smooch him that’s wwx’s job lol)
the look of absolute disbelief and despair lwj gives when wwx thinks he’s in love with mianmian... this show is a cinematic masterpiece and I will hear no other opinion
- lwj looking at the love of his life completely missing the point: are you a joke to you (the answer is yeah)
- okay we’ve officially hit the point where everything’s about to go to hell for real, pray for me I’m not sure I can handle this again
- jiang fengmian acknowledge your other son who desperately wants your attention and affection challenge (unfinished)
- watching this scene knowing exactly what this promise means to jiang cheng and that wwx is going to break it... this is fINE
why the fuck did I do this to myself I know what’s about to happen when will I learn to quit while I’m ahead lol
- the change in subtext from the novel that EVERYONE sees wangxian coming from day one is so painful from jiang cheng’s side. this poor boy really has abandonment issues pelting him from every direction huh. tfw your idiot genius brother doesn’t even fucking realize he’s basically announcing he’s leaving your clan and your side to get married one day ;______;
- man mxtx is just so GOOD at peppering in the small private tragedies that somehow sting even worse than huge atrocities going on. the fact that madam yu and papa jiang never manage to reconcile and communicate except possibly in death... oof my friends. oooof.
- WAIT WHAT NO DON’T SHOW ME THE CHILDREN WHO’RE ABOUT TO DIE WHAT THE FUCK YOU MONSTERS
- like we’re right at the worst part now and she is an asshole... but damn madam yu’s last stand is epic tho. like a champ to the end
- wen zhuliu’s actor being able to uphold a look of tremendous boredom at all times regardless of what’s going on around him is Poetic Cinema Bitches
- jiang cheng and wei ying are holding hands on the boat... stab me in the heart... end my suffering
- you know what in this version we get to see that madam yu knew her husband came back for her and they died holding hands and not everything’s on fire yet, so far this isn’t quite as harrowing as the animated version. the dead children are fucking me up but the tone of the animated version is like a nightmare, this is less disturbing to me
also can we talk about how madam yu fought them off the whole day and night and her husband gets his ass owned within five minutes 😔 oh papa jiang
- oh okay turns out jiang cheng’s ‘I want my mom and dad’ gets to me in every adaptation good to know
they’re so young they’re bbs I don’t want to be here anymore haha
- wen ning. a sweet angel. just the goodest of boys. his sister raised him so well ;______:
- wen quing is so ethereally beautiful and also looks like she could stop a train with the force of one glance. like she’s my height but her presence is immense
- oh I see we’ve arrived at the tiny adorable flashback bbs part of this journey, let me just... just lie down somewhere huh
- outside of the central romance this is a tale about people who love their brothers very very much and it’s real sad for everyone involved
- me watching nie mingjue kicking down the doors to reclaim his own dang fortress: YEEEEAAAAH GO OFF DAGE!!! i um love him and his very handsome face
- jiang cheng dreaming about his family is EMOTIONAL WARFARE!!! how fucking dare!!!
- y’know what this isn’t a bad way of adapting the burial grounds thing! also pretty cost effective I imagine, gotta think about the budget when so much of it goes into fabulous wigs and robes
- credit where it’s due, the actor for wen chao makes his face do some shit I didn’t know human faces could do and he’s enjoyable to watch in the capacity as your friendly neighbourhood hate sink
- lwj consistently using wwx’s personal name even when talking to total strangers now... mhm this is also fine
- I can’t beliEVE this show is somehow less subtle about the gay stuff than the book, jin zixuan basically just asked lwj if he and wwx were... y’know... I guess cultivation partners would be the way to go here lol. between that and nhs more or less asking them if they were off fucking after the whole cold cave debacle... what a time to be alive even if they’re not going to kiss on-screen
- huaisang I hate to have to be the one to tell you this but your brother is an entire snacc. and yet I respect him way too much to ever proposition him, I know he is busy winning a war and being Righteous and slowly being driven mad by the ghost in his sword on top of raising his little brother, I’m not here to complicate things for him any further
I love this version of nmj so much though. this sense that he also sees the stuff that is genuinely good in jgy and has a real moment of grief that the dude just can’t seem to get away from his basic insecurity that causes him to do horrific things, even when handed other opportunities... the fact that he seems regretful and worried when asking jin zixuan how jgy is doing with the jin....... everything to do with his little brother...................... oh no he’s Soft in his private life this is awful
- poor lwj’s ‘I have a bad feeling about this’ face in this scene haha, he’s staring at this talisman like ‘I only know one person smart and dumb enough to pull this off’
- can’t wen quing just get one nice thing. one nice thing just for her. hasn’t she been through enough. give her her brother back and a nice quiet place to practice medicine and maybe some soft romance with jiang cheng eventually this show is kind of selling me on this.
- unexpectedly my favourite part of the revenge scene is just the camera switching back to lwj and jc watching in horrified silence like ‘...O___o dude this is fucked up tho right?? it’s not just me that’s messed up??’
- one is forced to wonder about wen zhuliu tho. this version reads as pretty explicitly depressed/suicidal to me, he’s kind of an interesting villain since his main traits are unquestioning loyalty mixed with unending indifference and also seemingly not too pressing a will to live
- oh nhs desperately trying to keep it together and pretend nothing’s different ;_____; this version is really driving it home that wwx is a lot of people’s only friend -- jiang cheng is mentioned to not have anyone but his sister to play with before he arrived, lwj was raised primarily on books and rules and his brother is ELATED that he has one (1) friend now, from the sheer depth of the attachment I’m willing to bet nhs hasn’t had many real friends in his life either. wwx gives and gives of himself and doesn’t know how to take help in return.
- foreknowledge is a beautiful thing; if you look at nhs when it’s revealed wwx didn’t bring his sword you can visibly see his brain kicking into overdrive haha. smart boy.
- big sister ;_______; I am an older sibling so I haven’t really had the feeling of having an older sister to look to, I see why it might be comforting now
- oh this is some real uruk-hai shit!! honestly the special effects in this aren’t half as bad as I’d been lead to fear, some of you guys just weren’t forged in the crucible of shitty sci-fi channel cgi at an early age and it shows
(honestly the weird fight stuff threw me much worse in nirvana in fire, because that series has such intricate, credible and realistic political world building and then people are flying all over the place through wire fu and it is so disorienting haha)
- oh nhs looking up at his brother like a puppy during the war council T______T baby bird boy
(between this point in the main story and fatal journey it’s very interesting how clearly nhs needs the emotional stability and safety of his brother -- who also seems to be his parental figure -- to function properly, even in his late teens. it looks like he needed more time to grow up than the rest of them even before they were all thrown into this awful bullshit. well he does have a lot of murderkitten brain to grow I guess that’s fair enough lol. wwx has some of the same thing with his sister too)
- whenever lxc and nmj look at each other it feels like the only two adults in the room meeting each other’s eyes like ‘...oh dear’
- aww lwj getting some advice from his brother. this poor kid really hasn’t been raised to handle the moral complexity of the real world huh, good thing lxc is here to lend some nuance to lan qiren’s unforgiving dogma
- oh lan zhan
- nmj’s plan to just idk somehow go in alone and fight the wen overlord mano a mano to avoid any more casualties... a spine made of steel, a heart made of gold, a head made of wood :’) truly a perfect man, good thing his brother got the brains in that family and he has some more sensible people around him
- in the face of inevitability I plead... jiang yanli... please don’t marry this asshole your son is going to be predictably insufferable
wwx has suffered through so much the last four months or so and yet his real breaking point is seeing his sister cry and can I just say -- relatable content
- NO! NO STOP HURTING HIM HE’S JUST GOOD AND HANDSOME AND DOESN’T DESERVE THIS
(could be applied to like 98% of these characters but in this case it’s nmj b/c I love him)
I do find it very funny and oddly comforting that nmj is literally so fuckn mad that it takes three times as many attacks for the evil sorcery stuff to take him down than we’ve seen used on anyone else fsdkfhasdkj too angry to die
wHY has my brain chosen for me to attach so deeply to perhaps The single most inevitably doomed person in this entire cast, at this point I’m just being cruel to myself lol
- I can’t describe how much I love the fanficiness of this story, in the best ways. the emotional fallout from the destruction of the lotus pier gets more screentime and attention than the entire sunshot campaign, and that’s exactly how I want it to be.
- they’ve been doing some great work to establish that the jin are also jeeeeeerks for such a long time, how’s that for foreshadowing
- equal opportunity traitor jgy gets his stab in lol one must respect the grift, though, he’s set himself up pretty darn good
*lxc stops nmj from killing jgy, hello darkness my old friend starts playing in the background*
fatal journey builds nicely on this fundamental thing that the nie boys take their responsibility to their people extremely seriously, it seems to be the fact that jgy so blithely talks about them as necessary casualties that really sets him off
- adlfsdfhsdkjh lxc and nmj meekly being like ‘...we could maybe... not commit war crimes? if that’s at all possible? no?’
*slaps ‘I don’t think you even tried at all’ stars on both of them* (I mean I actually do kind of see where they’re coming from a bit, they just came out of a pretty costly war and I wouldn’t feel too comfortable getting right back into it with arguably the wealthiest faction, who’s also been keeping back a bit and thus kept a lot more reserves. well played jin bastards well played)
- I could stop here. if I stopped here everything would basically be as okay as they could be and the world full of hope still. I suppose the question here is... do I love myself enough to quit while the going is good. and the answer is no I already started the next episode
- I think one incredibly endearing aspect of this version of nmj is that he has a look of faint but permanent worry about him. he walked onto the screen with a vibe of ‘...oh boy I don’t like where this is going’ and he’s just kept going ever since
in the book he’s kind of a flat character (whose one trait is Mad), I love that they’ve given him some depth and nuance here! probably partly down to the actor doing a great job, but this version has a real sort of warmth to him and also seems downright uncertain at times -- he thrives when there’s a clear goal and black and white sides, and is probably not t h r i l l e d with the weird tentative political situation after they take down the wens lol. thank god he has his little brother to make ‘bitch please’ faces over his shoulder when the jin get weird about things
anyway I’m always on the ‘nhs you are SO valid’ train, but in this version nhs is quadruple valid, in fact only mianmian is more valid in this entire world
- one of my favourite parts of this show is when wwx enters a situation and the camera takes some time to zoom in on the faces of his family and friends to convey their sense of ‘oh god what the fuck is he about to say now’ dread
- jiang yanli asking her little brother if he doesn’t want to stay with them anymore while crying is emotional kryptonite, help
this poor woman, she had to put all her points into emotional intelligence b/c god knows no one else in this family did
- hell YEAH lan zhan go break some rules!! treat yourself my guy
- hey sis if, theoretically, one hypothetically found oneself in -- for the sake of argument -- love with, as the case may or may not be, someone... how would one tell?? asking for a friend
- the whole summary of this fucking show is just ‘weaponized sibling feels’ everything hurts with foreknowledge why did I keep going
- aw no blindfolded kiss scene but here’s a scene with real earnest emotional intimacy stuff going on instead... I will joyfully take it your honor
- I do value and respect the translators giving us these subtitles so much... but they did also force me to read the words ‘bosom friend’ with my own two eyes right there and that was not very cool of them
- why oh WHY must jiang yanli, best person in the world, have been cursed with the horrible fate of being in love with the dumbest man on the planet
*jiang yanli juggling all the idiot men in her life* oh god my little brother is causing an international diplomatic incident again time to bUCKLE UP
oh ho ho you know shit is getting real when big sister gets mad I LOVE HER. suddenly you see she definitely her mother’s daughter after all lol
wwx crying because his sister just fiercely defended him in public... im uwu
- I hate jgy with all my heart but I do feel bad for him too. his barely faltering :) look while all his asshole relatives gang up on him sdfhskahf
- again the jin are dicks but when it comes to aesthetics they do go off, that’s such a beautiful shade of blue
- dsflhsdakjlfhsdakjfl sd this shot of lwj and nmj right before lxc drinks is the funniest framing imaginable b/c lwj is wearing a look of complete stonefaced
-___________-
and meanwhile nmj, who presumably has seen lxc drunk before since they’re longstanding bros, looks worried as fUCK
- awwwww I do love nhs capitalizing all of jc’s attention so the others won’t start shit with him/so he won’t get to say something publicly he’ll regret later because he’s (understandably honestly) mad at his brother for making his life even more difficult than it has to be (I have every sympathy with wwx but buddy... buddy must you make everything more complicated for your bro every darn time this is a real delicate political situation and he’s not suited for that even without your antics)
it’s a very nhs move because he comes across as slightly boorish and rude and thus leaves jc blameless and thus protected, you can get so far if you have no self respect lol
- showing us exactly how wen ning died is honestly a little too mean this is not fun
- good god this poor grandma has been through the wringer hasn’t she
- oh. oh wen ning, who never meant hurt anyone in his entire life :(
- listen okay the end is in sight just a couple more horrific tragedies to get through and then it’s the weird romantic comedy buddy cop antics of the current day timeline to ride to the end
- it cannot be overemphasized how much this lan zhan is Baby, I so desperately want to help and protect him
- I’m going to stop shouting out individual actors on this show they’re all goddamn brilliant haha (but am I tho)
- most valid person in the cultivation world mianmian
also enjoying the exemplification of nmj’s character that is ‘not sure how I feel about this dumb kid with the big mouth digging his own grave ever deeper but that girl’s got guts and I respect that’
- wen quing is getting a taste of the dangers and pitfalls of having wwx as a little brother dfhskdalfhsdaklj she and jyl should compare notes (he’s so good tho T-----T)
- how does wwx’s actor have such natural dad energy at such a young age, too powerful
- people give so little thought to how fucked up jc’s situation really is here, like he’s just being an asshole for the sake of it. spend three fucking seconds looking at it with some realpolitik in mind and realize that the clans around him have just shown that they can and will wipe out an enemy clan together if need be, and that his own sect hasn’t even gotten back on its feet after the war that almost wiped it out. like wwx is unquestionably morally right but has gone about it in such a way that it’s real fucking hard to support him without going down with him and how do you calculate that risk when you’re responsible for so many more lives than your own
also so sad about jc being so afraid this entire time that wwx would leave him like everyone else... and now he has :( jc doesn’t handle it well but then who would at this stage
- there is something so pure about a quietly horrified lan zhan getting Dad Advice from these guys (well he’s going to be needing it soon enough so)
oh the utter softness of his face looking at wwx and ah yuan ;_______; thank god, some fluff to bolster my heart before we set off into the last harrowing ordeal here
LAN ZHAN’S ENTIRE FACE LIGHTING UP AT WEI YING ASKING HIM OUT thank fuck there’s still some joy left in the universe
this poor love struck man, someone help him
lan zhan conscientiously grabbing ah yuan’s toys is fskhdfksjdlfhskjdhf
- lan zhan looking around the demon subduing cave: babe I love you more than life itself but this is tacky as hell
- crying because wen niiiiiing
- crying because sibliiiiiings
okay this is the last time the three of them will be together and nominally happy, need to appreciate it through my tears
- actually I take it back please just let the bad thing happen now so I don’t have to live in suspense anymore lol (...this probably says a lot more about me as a person than I’m strictly comfortable with)
- the fact that none of wwx’s little adopted wen family are AT ALL intimidated by him anymore is just... it’s too much to bear
again tho this book/show is so willing to let you dwell in the emotional stages of things in a very fanfic sort of way, I think it’s what makes the sad parts so much worse (and makes you feel so incredibly attached to these characters)
- I gUESS it’s a testament to jin zixuan’s character that he has any decency at all, considering who his dad is and where he was raised
I’m cracking up at their dad being the one who still doesn’t trust jgy tho lol snake recognizes snake
- jgy’s faint look of ‘are you fucking kIdDiNg me rn’ whenever all these jin douchebags talk is very entertaining. if he didn’t go on to do all that murder and incest and (probably) infanticide I’d sort of cheer for him no matter what kind of sociopath he is
- not to be a downer or anything but isn’t one month a little premature to be celebrating the survival of a baby in fantasy old timey china tho
sometimes I feel like looking back at history is just seeing a whole lot of dead children (and this is why I think that even if god did exist it would be morally inconceivable to worship him! sorry just a quick detour into my personal grudge against the inherent cruelty of the world there, let’s move on)
- it’s uncomfortable to watch even the outlines of the jin sect’s slow insidious stranglehold on power. even these random shopgoing nobodies know that nmj is Not Happy about these watchtowers and that it’s probably going to happen anyway. the jin are snakes but at least they’re clever about it and I do kind of respect that
- oh everything’s about to go so wrong I hate it
NOOOOO don’t make the zombie baby fight, nothing good will come of this
- man this is hitting me worse than lotus pier actually I’m just... crying haha
it’s almost cathartic tho... there’s something about wen quing’s dignity and certainty that really helps? I just really wish they hadn’t brought the whole little group, god I want them to be okay so badly and ah yuan will be all that’s left and. and just throw me into the ocean and let me sink tbh
- I know this is all so much black cgi smoke (pls let us see the red version again at some point btw that was cool as shit) but the emotional metaphor of wwx that you can’t take on more and more of other people’s suffering and trauma and not care for yourself because you will lose control of that at some point is just. very nicely done. (he’s a bit of an odd serial codependent for a lot of the story, isn’t he. thank god lan zhan is not a quitter)
- jin zixuan’s mom is breaking my heart a little here. this lady has been married to THAT GUY all this time and now this as well. sorry lady, I guess jgy probably Took Care Of You at some stage after this
- a) this is just real good acting for wwx. this is the perfect level of unhinged for this, even though I’m always like ‘just. just shut your mouth for one time in your life and stop digging this grave any deeper six feet should be enough for anyone huh’ at this stage of the story and b) I am cackling inappropriately at the shot-reverse-shots between wwx, jiang cheng and jgy. jiang cheng looks like everything he ever loved is falling apart around him and jgy is like ‘oh wow I didn’t even have to provide him any rope he’s doing an excellent job at hanging himself without me’
I love wwx so much but it did take him an unconscionable length of time to realize that when you set big enough things into motion you will not be able to control who it crushes along the way or who might steer it in the wrong direction. other people exist and have agency and a lot of those people are bad honey :(
- ah yes lwj being stopped by a barrier made of the physical manifestation of wwx’s trauma when he tries to reach him :’) this is okay and cool and fine
- it’s admirably obtuse of everyone to look at wwx at this stage and still think he’s in control of uh anything lol
- oh okay that went better than expected I don’t know if I’m just inured to sadness at this point
jiang cheng looking like a little boy clutching his big sister’s body is tugging at my heartstrings a bit tho
- ooooh this battle hardened intense lwj!!! I guess I can sort of see it now
- oh lan zhan 2, electric boogaloo
- finally! time for some comfort up in this hurt
- my man nmj still so fucking angry in the afterlife that anything even remotely connected to him is shaking with rage in sympathy in the real world. a mood
- fdsahfsjdklfhsdajk wwx being like ‘I can take everyone saying I was evil but how DARE you not mention I was also a snacc’
- when do you think nie huaisang really realized that his brother wouldn’t have children and that he was up for the sect leader seat next? nie mingjue seems to have known pretty far in advance himself and tried to prepare his brother accordingly, but that kid really didn’t want the job so I imagine he’d try to live in denial as long as possible
vaguely related: no other family is ever mentioned by either brother or anyone else, and nie huaisang straight out says that he is the only main disciple (I seem to remember and with the caveat that I might have misunderstood the translation) when there’s the talk of them being sent to the wen as hostages -- I suppose you sort of have to be very selective when your ancestral cultivation method is sketchy enough that you should keep that shit on the down low and you know people die young from it. so I think it’s possible if not probable that huaisang is the last of his family. isn’t that a fun little thing to think about? haha. ha. help me
- this random street vendor is an unexpected strong comedy performance, every face he makes is pure gold
- fkshafkjsdhfasd best introduction of adult nhs
- the quiet luminous love on lwj’s face whenever he looks at wwx in the present... give this man all the awards. it’s nice that wwx gets to be scared and childish and vulnerable with someone who loves him no matter what too, he’s been through some shit
- oh okay I see so the reason they chose to make fatal journey the way they did was because they already had the set built
- *nhs dropping one set of robes like that one gif from anastasia to reveal another even more luxuriously dandy-ish set under it* oh wow what a surprise to see you two down here, coincidences amirite (anyway here’s the testament to all the sins of my ancestors & a trail of breadcrumbs to lead you to the murderer of my brother)
no wait that’s slightly later isn’t it. well the point still stands
- dead!nmj is truly a mood -- “I don’t know where I am, who I am or what the fuck just happened but I do know that I am PISSED OFF”
(actually in the book I found that almost comforting -- at least the dude got to spend his afterlife doing what he loved (i.e. being angry), but this more nuanced and sympathetic version being trapped like that just. makes me very very sad)
nice of him to stick around to play a few rounds of hot or cold with his little bro’s friends tho lol. I mean from what I understand of this take on canon it’s actually the spirit of his sword and not him in person? but close enough, let me keep him as long as I can okay
- jin ling getting his dumb ass cask of amontillado’d within ten minutes of entering the tomb smh
look at your ROBES young man what is your (other) uncle going to say??
- hAH what did I say. pedagogic mastermind jiang cheng at it again
enjoying the fact that they chose the floofiest most benign-looking of dogs to play this ~*terrifying hound*~ so much
I have a lot of sympathy for jiang cheng, and the actor is doing a good job at aging him up here (not as good as lwj’s but then you can’t beat perfection). the way he’s calcified into bitterness and anger b/c he can’t express his emotions in a healthy nuanced way feels very... real I guess, people get like that sometimes
- I am somehow really endeared to this version of jin ling. a dumb baby, but a baby
- poor lan zhan lol “I LEFT YOU ON YOUR OWN FOR TWO HOURS AND YOU ALREADY MANAGED TO TAKE ON SOMEONE ELSE’S CURSE??? BABE!!!!!!!”
he consistently uses jiang cheng’s personal name too huh. well it is his brother in law I guess ETA: actually I’m an idiot ignore/forgive me, that’s jiang cheng’s courtesy name isn’t it. lan wangji is being salty/maybe-deliberately-maybe-not-(but-definitely-tho) distant/polite with him I think
- y’know... as I watch lwj carry the love of his life around on his back with all the tenderness in the world and I see people in the comments yell about why do you always need everything to be gay they’re just good friends you’re all crazy... I realize all over again that there really is no level of queerness they’ll ever find legitimate or acceptable. which like. feels bad, but there’s also the freedom in remembering they are always going to be assholes no matter what I do, there’s literally no need to listen to them at any time.
- I am CRACKING UP; watching this episode right after seeing fatal journey sure is a treat hahaha. nhs really must enjoy the acting on a deep level because he is hamming it up and I am living for it
“It’s nothing at all like unorthodox demonic cultivation methods!” he protests with his big innocent doe eyes, having yelled the exact same accusation at his brother within ten seconds of finding out about it dsfdskjha
- awww that’s such a sweet way of telling nhs who he is while both of them still get plausible deniability :’)
this show is making it a LOT easier to figure out nhs’ deal earlier just through visual storytelling and his reactions when lwj and wwx aren’t looking, but I guess you sort of have to do that without the benefits of selective POVs that you can do in written stories
- lan zhan’s little smirks are such a blessing
- can we talk about how INCREDIBLY rude lwj and wwx are being barging into other people’s ancestral tombs like they own the place. I know I said break some rules lan zhan but there’s such a thing as common decency too at least wipe your feet at the entrance or something
stop being big bullies!!! (nhs actually sounds a little salty at how debonair they are being lol he’s like yeah you’re doing what I want you to but you don’t have to be such dicks about it)
- nooooooo nmj don’t die ur so sexy ahaha (I jest so I do not cry godddddd my heart big brother come baaaaaaack)
I’m honestly finding it very hard to live with knowing that the last thing nmj saw in life was jgy having his little brother in his clutches D:D:D: looking at it like that... of course he came back mad as fuck, I’d probably do the same thing
- boys boys I love and support you but could you maybe not stand around talking about how this was totally a horrific murder like the murderee’s little brother isn’t standing right there?? i mean it’s useful for him but it’s kind of mean of you, I know neither of you were raised in a barn
okay there’s wwx irrepressible protective instinct that’s better. I just... nhs standing there looking small and sad and soft and lonely isn’t the whole truth but it is part of the whole truth, it’s nice to see wwx being like this even after all those years. (the physical closeness in their friendship in their youth in this version is so gooood. outside of wwx the only two people we see nhs consistently allow close or seek out closeness from is his brother and MENG YAO, who can frankly burn in hell even more than usual for the flute thing in fatal journey.)
- lan zhan contemplating the inherent impermanence of everything good in the world and then immediately getting blackout drunk -- MOOD. also I have never seen a scene where someone so obviously was about to press a soft kiss to someone’s forehead or cheek, don’t worry wwx I see you through the censorship lol
(it’s incredible how well they’ve adapted the love story considering the fact that they technically uh can’t)
- wen ning: shambles, zombie-like and disheveled with horror movie monster eyes, into frame
all of us: omg a BABY ToT
- live action drunk lan zhan is living up to the hype I am d y i n g
this poor repressed man
fjskdfsdkjhf he could do sword fighting in his damn sleep probably
I will say that leaving ‘wei wuxian was also here’ is going to scare the crap out of these poor people whose only crime was keeping well fed chickens
- they r so in love someone hold me
- this nmj!kid I am LOSING IT, this is so cute I want to lie face down on the floor and cry
- the yi city arc is my least favourite part of this story, so I’m fortifying myself to get through a couple of hours of sexy baby xue yang here
- Dad/troll teacher!wwx is in fact everything
- oooh wwx has the same weird crooked fingers as me when they’re extended! just some small Facts About Your Friendly Neighbourhood Blogger there
- this is not at all a bad take on ah quing! she qte
- ‘what’s your husband look like?’ song lan, crying: beautiful
- xxc you didn’t think it was a little weird the dude wouldn’t tell you his name -- even a name -- all this time. honestly
I know you’re in a bad place and this is sort of a rebound thing from your actual true love but stop letting him gaslight you like this buddy :(
- time for some MASSIVELY FORESHADOWING PARALLELS my friends
- I don’t know if I’m just a heartless monster but I honestly don’t care that much about anyone but ah quing in this little sideplot lol (probably my complete disinterest in xue yang tainting everything else)
- xue yang and jgy: the ‘sad backstory dude still inexplicably extra mass murder’ club
- godddd I’m so bored I’ve listened to this guy cackle ~*madly and evilly*~ for three episodes now when will it fucking end
- lan jingjy you are VALID
- fhsdkfhsdkj can’t get over baxia being like ‘OI you two stop gazing soulfully into each other’s eyes for five seconds and get on with avenging me’
must be annoying spending your afterlife in a pouch third wheeling the two most obnoxiously in love people in the world, I think this spirit sword is being admirably restrained and patient all things considered
- big brother I am so sorry you had to hang out under there all this time while this boring bullshit plot happened above you ;________________________;
I’m actually not clear on what the nie sect does with the bodies of the dead -- the saber tomb seems to be exclusively for the weapons/we see that some of the cultivators will go down there while they’re still alive to sacrifice themselves... maybe they go in the walls? I guess nhs is breaking tradition in a lot of ways tho so who knows!
- ‘from what I’ve seen he’s not so bad’ wei ying he smilingly asked you to use POWs for target practice I’ll allow lxc to be this dumb but you really have no excuse
- this duckling in red is a gentleman and a bro, one to watch
- wwx seductively arranging himself in the open window to cover his panic fsdkjfhsda
- lot’s wife WISHES she had the level of salt jiang cheng does
- ‘if they ask me any weird questions I don’t know the answers to I’ll have to pretend to be a total psycho’
lan zhan, dragging his husband with one deadpan face: I’m sure that is going to be a huge feat of acting for you babe
- NIE HUAISANG FALLING INTO FRAME AND LAUNCHING HIMSELF FROM ONE PERSON TO ANOTHER LIKE A GORMLESS WET RAG, I STAN ONE (1) BOY
‘but new problems appeared’ how is he such a mood
again tho you can give your unknowing accomplices so much space to investigate if you just don’t bother with self respect or dignity at any stage of the journey lol
- fjshdfkjlsahd that beat of lan zhan clearly taking a moment to contemplate the idea of wei ying confessing his love naked in public there
- uncle and nephew bonding time T________________T
- fsakfhsadkjlfhsad I can’t deal with this mission impossible ass music in the background as a little paper gingerbread man scoots around the palace
whoever animated this was clearly having a lot of fun, I love the little details like his dangling legs and him rubbing his lil paper bum after landing
- poor qin su, one of the most screwed over people in this whole show. at least in the book he didn’t mean to
- ah su, you’re being very unreasonable about this, what is a little incest between friends
- straight culture is this being chill to keep in the adaptation but god forbid anyone got a loving queer kiss at any point (not blaming the showrunners at all, they’re clearly stretching the limits as far as they will go and maybe a bit more at a few points)
- YES SISTER CALL HIM THE FUCK OUT I always felt like she’s known something was a little off for a long time but never could put her finger on what exactly
- ‘can you still not let me go’ hey jgy you piece of shit who’s keeping whose head in a weird serial killer cabinet here
- THANK YOU FOR BRINGING HIS HANDSOME ALIVE FACE BACK TO MY SCREEN IF ONLY TO MAKE ME SAD
- he’s so beautiful and righteous and strong 😭😭😭😭 dage come back to us
(makes even more sense that he’s so pissed off about what jgy did if he’s already shown clearly that he’ll shut down the people fucking with him if it’s brought to his attention. he gave you every opportunity you little oh-it’s-never-really-my-fault worm of a man)
- another nmj about to cry warning needed here help me
dON’T FUCKING TOUCH HIM YOU SLIMY FSKJLDHFKSJDHFSKDJLHF
the nie traits are undying loyalty, rage, and the intergenerational trauma of watching your parental figures succumb to death and madness through the same cultivation path you practice
- my cause of death: nmj’s eyes shining with unshed tears
this version has that edge of vulnerability to him, you suddenly do realize he was once just a kid watching his dad die a horrifying death and then having to take on all that responsibility and raising his brother
nie boys unfailingly devoted to the people under their protection I’m gonna go bury myself under a tree or something
- I’ve had to turn the volume down so I can barely hear anything b/c my emotions are too big to for my dumb body to contain already I can’t listen to this
- extremely sad but also a little funny that part of the reason nmj died was that he had no interest whatsoever in the arts. ‘music is music right?’ says local jock
- I’ve just been whimpering the last twenty minutes this is awful
- huaisang’s voice breaking on ‘big brother, it’s me’... sdlakhgsdjklfhsadjkghsdkjlfhdskljhgsdalkhgsdklgjhsdjklhgkdjslhgjskd I’m going to the bottom of the mariana trench and I’m staying there goodbye
- I can’t wait to watch nie huaisang end this putrid trash man’s whole career in the most devastating way possible tbh
- I’m just so SAD T______________________________T I hate jgy so much my heart burns with it I’m so glad he’s about to get some dramatic irony shoved up his -- but I digress
- haha poor jin ling standing there watching all this messed up shit like ‘O.O thanks i’m nine’
- I wish I was as good at passing the fuck out on command as nhs, I feel like it would solve a lot of my problems
- just some low key soulmate shit no biggie
- wwx is basically fantasy old timey naked again here the SCANDAL except no scandal they’re clearly married
- wwx is being so much more patient with lxc than I would have found it in my heart to be at this stage. he’s like ‘lxc you are my brother in law and I truly appreciate you and everything you’ve done for me but it’s sadly up to me to gently confront you with all the ways you’ve been a dumb ho just b/c you think jgy has pretty dimples 😔’
- “You’re not qualified to talk to me” oh lwj I love you so much. I thought committing murder was forbidden by the lan sect rules but there you go
- it honestly baffles me that some people think nmj would be the strictest parental figure in this universe when a) everything about huaisang suggests otherwise and b) lan qiren is right there
madam yu has that ‘super unforgiving to her son’s face but will also tear anyone criticizing him a new one’ mixed energy too
- lqr: I raised a perfect obedient righteous cultivator
me & wei ying: you’ve ruined a perfectly good boy is what you did look at him he’s too repressed to breathe
- well their dad clearly paid enough attention to worldly matters that two kids resulted from it, I’m not quite sure where we’re going with this lxc
one’s an accident two’s a pattern etc.
- wow I was so confused about ‘confidante’ being used here b/c it makes absolutely no sense in context, and the comments helpfully informed me that it’s more accurately translated to ‘soulmate’ or something like that; that does make a whole lot more sense yeah
- bb!lan zhan kneeling in the snow is more than anyone’s supposed to have to live with tbh
- lxc being like ‘so yeah my brother will keep loving people long after they’re gone and unable to give him love back! just a fun fact there, something to think about anyway here’s wonderwall’
- soft, ever-so-slightly messy haired at home lan zhan deserves the world
- oh wwx’s shift away from thinking the truth doesn’t matter at all to realizing the truth of you being held fully and with love by one person in your life is enough as lwj plays their song ;______________________________; this is almost more romantic than a kiss scene would be honestly jesus christ
- little apple is the best of us tbh
- apologies but they have 100% started to fuck off-screen at this stage, the looks wei ying is giving him dsafasdfhsjkd
- I take it back mianmian and little apple are the best of us
- imagine just finding the light bearing lord, second peerless jade of lan in his immaculate white clothes, peeking out from between your hay bales one day
- the exponential increase in lan zhan’s blessed little smiles lately: my oh-they-fawking thesis is validated yet again
- wei ying lying through his teeth: of course I remembered your face at once who do you take me for
(lan zhan: smirks in quiet satisfaction)
- walejhgskdjhgsjdaklfhsadjkflafhsjakdsf wen ning is so cute I don’t know what to do with myself
- wei ying this is where you first asked him out of course he remembers
- lan zhan is like ‘oh shit I forgot to tell him about our son and at this point I’m kind of embarrassed to bring it up’
- I am NOT thinking about the lotus pond they made for him here, you can’t make me
- ‘the worst time in their lives’ yeah, but there was such love there too. it h u r t s
- the actor for wen ning is so good at making his expressions look deeply earnest but also a little uncanny, like moving his face doesn’t come naturally to him anymore but his Good Boyness shines through
- DRAGGED in public by his own son. rip wwx he had a good run of it before his untimely murder
- wow thank goodness sect leader yao survived all this time, his death would as we all know have been a huge loss to society as a whole
- “I’m just here to round up the numbers” I love him more than I can convey to you in words
I’m a simple person, I hear nhs’ chronically befuddled voice and a burst of pure joy is released in my heart
sdfhjksadhfsad his soft little 😕 face peeking out from behind people’s shoulders fkjsdhfsdjal
- will I ever get enough of nhs masterfully manipulating a situation through his own apparent cowardliness and uselessness? no is the answer to that it’s always entrancing to watch
nhs as a teacher, nodding sagely as his disciples exchange glances: it’s never too late to go home instead of going big. saying ‘fuck this i’m outta here’ is always an option
- also nhs seemingly doesn’t use a saber at all anymore, where he at least used to have one back in fatal journey times. I’m very happy he’s trying some new things, time to break that very sad traumatic chain of dying young and furious
also him getting someone else to do the work of fixing the ward or whatever fskdfhaskdlf
teacher nhs, waving his pupils away b/c he’s busy painting or something: class dismissed. and remember, if at all possible, get someone else to do your homework for you. as long as you don’t get caught that’s an automatic A
- wwx is literally the cat surrounded by knives meme here lol
- lol lol lol wwx just removed his outer tunic thing to reveal lan zhan’s undershirt still under there and you can see lan qiren silently seethe with ‘that little hussy has seduced my nephew away from the righteous path’
(do I personally believe in slut shaming of any kind? nah it’s dumb as fuck. do I think lqr does? yeah)
- hahaha I can’t tell if nhs’ slightly glazed look here is b/c wwx did something he didn’t plan for him to do or if it’s because he’s for all intents and purposes half naked in front of them. (tbh I think there’s a case to be made in this version that he has a sort of wistful would-never-act-on-it-for-a-million-different-reasons-lan-zhan’s-furious-jealous-stare-being-foremost-of-them crush on both wwx and lwj from back when they were teens)
- WOW all these dicks inviting themselves to lotus pier!!! r u d e
- lan zhan flexing on lan qiren by raising a happy well adjusted child even while he’s mourning the love of his life: what like it’s hard
- wen ning kept that toy for sixteen goddamn years don’t touch me
- I’m crying about jin ling give me a moment. he is baby okay he’s even younger than ah yuan by at least four years
the image of him hugging the only thing he’s got left of his dad... fsdalkfhasdjlkfhsjdakhfsjdk
- lan sizhui has a crowd of good uncles/dads and poor jin ling has a crowd of utter disaster uncles and it’s very unfortunate (yes wwx is on both of those lists)
it is very sweet that it’s jiang cheng who consistently actually looks out for him, even in his feelings-wtf-are-feelings sort of way. the least disaster uncle, but only by comparison lol
- I think this ouyang kid might be duckling in red from before? LOVING the interspersed nhs reaction shots to him, anyway fsakdfh (I’m going to make it sad: how many conversations like this do you think he had with his brother as a kid? that’s fine we can both cry now I don’t want to be alone in this)
- ‘mr ning’ im Y___________________________________Y
- extremely Here for yet another full costume change from nhs hahaha (he’s changed at the boat already, god knows how he pulled that off but I’d expect no less from him)
- nhs must have been a sect leader for at least a decade at this point, and he still manages to exude such a powerful ‘kid at the adult’s table’ aura. incredible. mindblowing, inspirational
- ...oh they went with the same version of the previous jin leader’s death huh (but GOD FORBID that anyone should be openly gay amirite lol) O___O again though WHY is jin ling here, jiang cheng??????? he’s like sixteen, he’s never going to dare to even kiss anyone after this
- nhs has the look of a man who’s had to sit on this disgusting knowledge alone for years and finally gets to share that icky burden around, merry christmas everyone if I have to know about this so do you
- I don’t know if this is just me imagining things or reading more into it than what’s there, but I think nhs is actually sitting in the same pose his brother used to a lot in this part of the scene (the upright posture with palms resting at the top of the thighs/hips, fingers turned inwards/towards each other; it looks sort of... solid and self-contained, I guess)
- I would call jgy knowingly committing the incest character assassination if he’d had enough character to assassinate even in the book, I would never have put it past him
- y’know... god knows nmj had flaws (I think my immense depth of love for him in this version comes precisely from how hard he tries even while being deeply flawed. him dumb but him always trying :’) well actually he’s not dumb at all, he’s shown to be pretty darn politically savvy, I’m just having a hard time finding the right word here. ‘inflexible’ is maybe closer ), but the big defining difference between him and jin guangyao (and consequently xue yang) is that both of the latter are completely open about the fact that they see themselves as more important than anyone else -- xue yang considers one of his fingers worth more than fifty people’s lives, jgy kills twenty sex workers as a mere afterthought to his own revenge on his father. meanwhile nmj gets Messed Up by people dying under his protection to the degree that he came up with one of the dumbest plans I’ve ever heard just so he’d be the only one at risk, just so no one else would get hurt anymore. hmnghsjhfs.
- wen ning, proudly: my sister was the best doctor in the world
me, openly crying: she sure was buddy
- wwx: hey lan zhan are there any sweet patient lan ladies with an open mind around
lwj: ...why
wwx: I just think our zombie son should start thinking about getting friends, maybe even a real home
lwj, subtly relieved: oh
- JIN LING BABY BOY NOOOO D:D:D:
- nhs I need you to come in and end this man I cannot look at his awful face anymore
- ugh this garrotte sound effect is really unpleasant actually well done
- THERE HE IS!!! conveniently swooning his way into the scene again, my guy ;_______; smol and soft-looking and about to utterly obliterate a man on every conceivable level
I love every moment of the camera dwelling meaningfully on his innocent vulnerable face, this is going to be so great
it’s too bad he’s a behind the curtain sort of dude, I would kill for a poirot-style ‘I’m sure you’re all wondering why I’ve gathered you here in the library’ moment here lol
- tbh jiang cheng’s got a point about that whole ‘making huge sweeping decisions about someone else’s life and never telling them about it’ thing
wwx has sort of structured himself as a person so that you’ll never be allowed to really reciprocate his dedication and sacrifices (unless you’re lz lol), and while that is a very sympathetic trauma reaction essentially it is sort of a dick move interpersonally.
- the weight and wisdom that comes along with the scars of older wwx... you love to see it
- nhs, with effortless grace, rousing from his disney princess slumber just as the real drama’s about to begin... your honor he is simply the best
- T__________________________________________________________T big brother
- the tinge of coldness in nhs’ eyes while he watches jgy through this whole scene even as he keeps up the ‘im baby don’t worry about me’ act.............. fashdfjlksdahfslkadj, not to say askfksjhafkjsldhfkjsalhfksjaldhfkls
- to say that jgy has perhaps ‘gone overboard with this’ might be the biggest understatement of any century lxc
- watching him kneel by his brother’s coffin here I’d like to propose that Nie Huaisang has exactly the same capacity for all-consuming rage as the rest of his family, except he can’t just vent it by hitting something real hard with a haunted murder saber so he has to get creative and that was real unfortunate for Jin Guangyao
- one thing that’s always tickled me is that nhs did give jgy the choice. the people around him -- the people he claims to love -- could have been left out of it, no dishonor being brought to either his name or any of theirs... if he’d been willing to sacrifice himself. (probably a gambit where he knew that was never going to happen, but still!)
- nhs standing there in the background like ‘yeah yeah we all have horrifying family legacies buddy, we just don’t knowingly marry our sisters or arrange for mass murders over it’
- arguably killing the previous jin leader could actually count as a good deed if not for the horrifying way he did it lol. jgy all over, he could have done something helpful, *john mulaney voice* and then he didn’t he just killed nineteen innocent women while he was on a roll instead
- while it’s sort of bullshit that some responsibility is taken away from wwx in jin zixuan’s death here it’s also making a bit more sense to me like this -- seems like an uncharacteristic gamble from jgy to just idk hope wwx would lose control at exactly the right/wrong moment. wwx is still at fault for how casually he treated wen ning as a weapon when he didn’t know what the consequences could be, I’m okay with this
- jin ling and the terrible horrible no good very bad week :( protect him
wow lan xicheng let’s stand around some more letting this awful excuse for a person tell this sixteen year old boy that his parents deserved to be murdered basically, I’m sure there’s a lot more fruitful discussion still left to be had here
- talk shit about nie mingjue’s brother get hit su she hell YEAHHHHHH
big brother still looking out for him I’m fsdklfhajsdlhf 😭😭😭
- I’M SO FULL OF FEELINGS ;________________________________; at least in this version the implication feels more like he’s finally at peace? (hilariously wwx managed to purge/cleanse the saber spirit, which is the entire conflict of fatal journey haha, nhs really did get his best friend to do his homework for him yet again, INSPIRATIONAL)
- HELL YEAH FINALLY GET REKT YOU PIECE OF SHIT! PRESS F TO PAY RESPECT EXCEPT JOKE’S ON YOU I’VE GOT NO RESPECT TO PAY
They did do away with any and all ambiguity around nhs here and I’m totally cool with it, that was awesome
- I’m playing the world’s tiniest little violin right now, wow much sad fuck you and your dumb hat
- may I just say that the fact that jgy uses his last moments on earth to make lxc, a person he proclaims to love, feel as bad as possible about his now inevitable death even though it clearly wasn’t really his fault... is just proof that he has never actually loved anyone at all except possibly himself
contrast with wwx, who tells jc that he’s sorry, dries his tears in the here and now and says to let the past go because there’s nothing either of them can do about it now and there’s no point in hurting themselves over it again and again anymore. jgy has the opportunity to give a similar kindness here and instead twists and twists the knife, so lxc will be in as much pain as possible when he’s gone. he’d rather be kept alive in lxc’s suffering than let him, someone he ‘loves’, ever heal and be happy. anyway I hope hell is real shitty for you jgy
- jgy you absolute piece of shit you couldn’t let my man have TEN FUCKING MINUTES to nap in peace? after sixteen years of your fuckery? urgh bye
- nhs looking at lxc sadly when lxc can’t see him... one last ‘I don’t know’ finally closing out his arc... I love all of this so much, there’s such a nuance of... he is genuinely a bit sad about causing lxc pain but he also doesn’t regret what he did At All. (I guess most of what he’s done must be pretty easy to rationalize/justify to himself, since the vast majority of his work went into finding the horrible shit jgy has done and showing them the way home to roost, rather than creating fresh suffering from scratch. and then there’s also the whole mo family but uh well eggs omelettes amirite lol)
- lan qiren telling people not to run or talk loudly b/c they’re at a temple, even under these circumstances fhakjsldfhkjsdafhkjsaldhf
- god the casting people for this show have a perfect track record of finding heartwrenchingly cute kids my GOD
- jfdsafhaskdjfh I love how they’ve done the moment with the hat -- the way the flashback sort of indicates that nhs does recognize on a deep level that the dude he just killed was someone’s son, was after all once an innocent child, like anyone... and again, it doesn’t make him regret it. he looks tired and sort of empty, but not like he’d take any of it back. he’s seen jgy for all that he was, good and bad, and made his decision. his reaction to seeing his hands ever so slightly stained with blood is mostly ‘...eh sure’ (and he knows none of this will ever bring his brother back and I am HURTING) . just. I love him so much what an interesting character
- lan zhan raised a child who can talk about his feelings, unprecedented & wondrous
who’s chopping onions in here
- never getting over ah yuan being the best person in the world at roasting his dad
- okay okay okay I’m going to have some incoherent feelings here -- the expression on nhs’ face right after wwx asks him if he intends to be chief cultivator is just... hm. how do I describe this. it looks almost like he’s thinking ‘oh yeah I forgot you don’t actually know me anymore (yeah okay that’s my bad)’? the previous scene is about lwj and wwx, The symbolic representation of true love in this world, naming each other/knowing each other for exactly who and what they are. that’s the thematic victory in this story; to be truly known, accepted and loved for the entirety of who you are, if only by one person in your whole life. (notably all sorts of love, parental, familial, platonic etc., not just romantic/sexual) and to get his victory, nhs has had to completely forsake that because his whole plan hinged on it; he hasn’t been emotionally honest with anyone for well over a decade at this point. no one really knows or understands him, and if someone ever did he’s long dead now and never coming back. and in this one moment both wwx and nhs seem to come to the quiet understanding that neither of them are who they used to be as kids and it’ll never be like it used to be again, and reach a sort of live-and-let-live truce about it. d u d e this goddamn story
(after all part of the reason jgy is so incredibly terrified of nmj is that he’s the first person to see straight through his bullshit to who he is behind it, and that it’s u g l y back there. jgy + nmj = being known without being accepted or loved (b/c honestly he doesn’t deserve to be loved or accepted yeah there we go I said it), jgy + lxc = being accepted and loved without being known, which turns into disaster all around.)
- man this was actually a really solid adaptation, it was excellently done! they did rush a bit towards the end there (it was never explained why jgy didn’t kill sissi along with all the other sex workers in this version, for example, leaving a rather substantial plot hole, and they never reveal why exactly lan zhan had to take over as sect leader which breaks off lxc’s arc at the end), but all in all that was wonderful and even added some stuff I liked better than in the book! now please god never let mtxt write a sequel, just let them be in this happily ever after, all of them have been through enough ;________;
- also the music was truly epic! I don’t even begrudge them using some parts more often and blatantly than what’s probably necessary, I want to wallow in this love theme as much as the next person lol
- what am I going to do with hours upon hours of my life now? I don’t know either, I suppose I will just have to find some way to hobble on
#the untamed#mo dao zu shi#wangxian#nie brothers#(b/c predictably that's what most of my feelings boil down to lol)#meta#I think I might have outdone myself with this; this is a new height of aimless unproductive nonsense even for me lol#I did this instead of working on the edit of the fic I've got nearly finished because... I don't know either guys I just don't know
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September 18: 1x15 Shore Leave
Shore Leave tonight! Because I need it. I had a lot of thoughts on this because it’s so ridiculous and wonderful.
That planet looks like a giant green screen. Which is appropriate.
I could watch this back rub scene on a loop all day. Fellas, is it gay to want your First Officer to really dig it in there?
Captain going to his quarters to work from home today.
Oh-ho, what is this, the little seen Sulu & McCoy dynamic.
Plant nerd Sulu wants information on all the greenery.
That rabbit is so great. Fun fact I had an LJ icon with that rabbit back in the day.
Honestly this is such a great concept for an episode. Like I don’t have any really deep notes or feelings about it but both as a sci fi idea (a very high-tech ‘amusement planet’ that uses unseen machines that can read your thoughts to manufacture delightful things for you) and an entertaining yarn, it’s so good. I also think the characters are really on point.
It’s so good that Theodore Sturgeon could put that back rub scene in there and no one even noticed.
“Stardate.... something.....uh, point three.” I laughed, I really did. Stardates do not and never have made sense and I like that even Kirk is so tired at this point he’s like “yeah whatever.” Mood, Sir.
Kirk is canonically a workaholic. He’s the kind of guy who checks his email on vacation. Who answers emails at 11pm. With his husband next to him like to rest is to rest jim!!!
“On my planet, to rest is to rest.”
Kirk thinks he’s so cute. He’s looking really handsome today himself, but Kirk always looks at his best when he’s got his heart eyes face on.
“A crewman’s rights end where the ship’s safety begins.” We need that on a poster today in 2020 for Reasons.
Love how unamused Kirk is and how amused Spock is. Ya got played, son!
Oh, look, it’s a random gun. Too bad Chekov’s not here to claim it. (He’d love this planet btw.)
YFIP: Captain Kirk. Cancels shore leave mere minutes before it’s supposed to start.
Gunshots!! Sulu found the gun! And he’s so excited! And then Kirk takes it away like the Mean Dad he is.
One thing I wonder about this planet is at what point do the objects, people, etc. cease to exist. Do they just eventually wander back to the trapdoors and.... get recycled? Do they have this built in? Is that not... weird? Rosencrantz and Guildenstern: Shore Leave. And do the inanimate objects have to be returned?
I love this Kirk Academy back story and we were robbed--ROBBED--of it in AOS, fight me on this. “I was downright grim.” Bullied by an upperclassman?? Who liked playing dumbass pranks?? Sounds like enemies to lovers, slowburn, 20k, to me.
Love how absolutely deranged Finnegan is though.
Yeoman Barrows’ rape fantasy.
Kirk stops to a pick a flower! To romantic music!! He is so soft and I love him byeeeeeeeee.
And then the flower reminds him of his Academy girlfriend Ruth. Who is uh obviously played by a woman in her 30s and yet hasn’t aged a day in 15 years so 19 year old Kirk with an older lady y/y?
Love his confused face while she’s kissing him though.
He’s so dazed as he calls McCoy and then just kinda... gives up lol.
Bones, too busy flirting to remember the white rabbit he’s supposed to be chasing. Don’t say “a whole army of Don Juans”!!!
His eyeshadow is also on point today. He’s so shameless, trying to not-quite-watch her as she changes into the Princess Costume. No one ever remembers how flirty McCoy is but he IS.
Oh look, a big kitty!!! Very beautiful and nice.
Sulu lol, just casually thinking of samurai. Bet he wishes he still had that gun now.
Spock having a hard time beaming down reminds me of that meme “Now I will always be a child of two worlds.”
Spock’s thought process is hilarious. “Our transporters were about to stop working so I thought, hey, how about I strand myself too--just to be with you, Jim.”
McCoy and Barrows holding hands.
They’re supposed to spread out but Kirk and Spock go together obviously.
Oh no, the knight! I’m sure Kirk told Spock not to shoot bc he knew his phaser didn’t work but it still looks like ‘I got this baby.’
There’s no one to say “He’s dead Jim.” :(
Barrows shouldn’t feel guilty; it was Bones’s fault for conjuring the knight in the first place by saying the word “knight.”
Lol can’t Sulu run the tricorder? Like the obviousness with which they switch out Sulu and Spock so K and S can have their moment is... Something.
“Are you saying that this is a plant, Mr. Spock?”
Lol just poking the dummy in the face.
“Funny air vehicles.” Don’t have planes in the 24th century I guess?
Don’t say strafing run!!
When Kirk thinks of the Academy, he thinks of Finnegan first apparently. And now begins an incredibly long fight sequence. I actually like the TOS fights in general quite a bit because they’re SO choreographed. So for me they are more fun than fights now, which are such a mess I don’t even know what I’m looking at. But even so--this one is VERY long.
And VERY homoerotic.
“Jim baby.” “Sweet Jimmy boy.” Resting on top of that cliff in a ‘draw me like one of your French girls’ pose. Kirk’s shirt just like.... REALLY randomly ripping right the hell off.
“You couldn’t find your head with both hands.” ???
I love this Irish tune. Apparently this was the first ep this composer worked for and I think he did a really good job all around! I rarely notice music but I did in this one and always in a good way.
Spock’s makeup is great as usual. He and Kirk are on the same expository wavelength.
Spock, don’t say the word “tiger”! You can clearly see it is on a leash lol. Lots of gratuitous touching as Kirk and Spock run away. My mom and I agree that Spock liked the tiger, though. He does like cats and big animals like iChaya.
All the crewman line up except for Angela. Really dropping the ball there.
Love how the amusement park manager shows up just after Kirk told everyone not to think about anything. “Okay, who imagined the man in green robes?”
Spock’s posture and expression.... so good. He clearly loves the idea of an amusement park, and, given that he describes it as a place with “many fascinating things” to do/see, I think he would, canonically, love it.
“The more complex the mind, the greater need for the simplicity of play.”
THE MUSIC WHEN MCCOY SHOWS UP WITH THE GIRLS OMG.
He’s such a slut. One whole love interest plus TWO imaginary showgirls? Tone it down Mister.
I can’t believe one of the girls goes to Spock. He’s like “What do I do with this?” Then hands her off to Sulu because Rodriguez is already helping Angela move on from her dead husband. So now Sulu gets two ladies.
Spock doesn’t need any more shore leave, because he got to spend some time with Kirk, solve a mystery, and see a tiger. That’s all the fun he needs!
The last scene was pretty unnecessary (except that I guess without it, it kinda looks like Kirk is just...leaving the Enterprise for his old girlfriend lol) but at least we get the awkward implication that Kirk, McCoy, and Sulu had a lot of sex, and some random fake laughter.
(Sulu absolutely canonically had a threesome.)
Next up is the Galileo Seven, a Classic TM Spock (and Spock & McCoy) episode.
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Title: l’ours et le roi
Pairing: Michael/Ryan
Summary: A year after King Haywood’s faithful knight is presumed dead, the only thing that rouses him from his sadness is the strange appearance of a bear he finds while out hunting. A very well behaved bear, at that.
A/N: Based on the medieval French story called ‘Bisclavert’ by Marie de France (this version is only slightly more homoerotic than the original, just so you know). I wanted to write this in the style of a fairy tale, which is why there’s a lot of narration and other stylistic differences. Also - this was done for Myan Week 2017 - Minecraft/Kings! au
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Once upon a time in a faraway land there lived a loyal knight by the name of Michael Jones. He was considered unparalleled amongst his peers; youthful, fiery, and beloved, especially by the country’s sovereign, King Haywood. The Lord loved his knight dearly, and his affections were clearly displayed; through every acre of land he added to Michael’s home; every jewel encrusted along his sword hilt; every kiss he placed upon his brow, it was no secret that Michael was his favorite.
Some viewed Michael with respect, others fear, and still others envy; but Michael was careful, and any true threat to him was easily exposed to the King. He knew, for example, that a novice knight had been upset with him after accusing Michael of escaping the castle grounds several nights a month; Michael had retaliated by drawing his sword, and the jealous knight had merely fled, cementing his own cowardice to the rest of the castle.
Despite the technical victory, Michael grew worried, because knight’s accusations were founded in truth: he had snuck out of the castle for several days each month. He never revealed the reason why he did this, not even to his precious King. Even worse, his time to flee outside the castle’s walls was fast approaching, and he doubted that disagreeable knight would soon forget Michael’s insult to him.
Still, on the next clear night, Michael crept out of his room. He had gotten exceptionally good at sneaking down the corridors without being spotted, and once he had bypassed the common guards and entered the royal garden, he assumed he was free. However, unbeknownst to him, he was being watched. A dangerous mix of curiosity and spitefulness prodded that jealous knight into following Michael on such an evening. He hid around corners and behind statues until he too had gotten outside. He reached the edge of the garden just as Michael began climbing its tall stone wall, which was covered in thick ivy vines. He went up with the ease of a cat before jumping to the other side. The knight began climbing up himself, not nearly as easily. When he finally reached the top of the wall he looked down to see Michael undressing in the dark. Perhaps he was meeting a lover then, the other knight thought sourly. Michael tucked his pile of clothes beneath a flower bush and walked several paces towards the large forest that acted as a barrier against prospective invaders, or sometimes hunting grounds for royal parties. Now, however, he saw Michael hunch onto the ground, as if wounded by an invisible force.
Michael twitched and rolled, and his form grew exponentially in size and became covered in dark hair. The other knight watched, disgusted and perplexed, until finally the transformation was complete, and where a human man had once been a monstrous brown bear was instead. It moved its head to the left and right before walking into the dense woods, disappearing from sight.
The knight was revolted, truly – to have a beast hiding in their midst! To have stolen the King’s attentions with his skills as a fighter when in reality he had attained everything through magic. He hopped down onto the other side of the wall. Now, as a suspicious man, the knight had always known a bit about transformations, lycanthropes, and so on, and he suspected that as in other cases, Michael needed his human clothes to turn back into a man. So, thinking himself very clever, the knight gathered up the tunic, belt, sword, and shoes into his arms and took them back to the castle. The very next day, the knight bundled up the clothes and gave them to a courier to send to his home in the country to ensure Michael would never find them again.
After three days and three nights with no sign of Michael, King Haywood began to grow distraught. He asked the knights and gentlemen of his court if they had seen the man, but no one had. After a week, a search was called, and every able man and woman searched high and low for Michael – even the knight who had succeeded in banning him. In fact, he searched hardest of all, calling for parties through the woods he knew the beast would go to. And after a month of fruitless searching, the knight was satisfied to report to King Haywood that Michael was missing forever, if not deceased already. With a heavy heart, King Haywood gave the same knight – who seemed nearly as motivated as himself to find Michael – Michael’s own land and home as a reward for his dedication, to which the knight happily retired to, reveling in fortunes he didn’t earn.
As for the King, he found himself to be more depressed and more inconsolable with each passing month. Without his skilled warrior – without his dear friend, Michael, what was he to do? He mourned eccentrically; commissioning a monument of Michael Jones in the town square, and his portrait in the royal gallery, so that the young man’s image could stare across at his own. He locked and boarded up the fallen man’s chambers and hung one of his diamond swords above his own bed. As the year drew on, and the King’s sadness only deepened, his advisers grew worried, and his other knights scared. Something must be done.
-
A year passed. Perhaps spurned by the anniversary, King Haywood announced a hunt should take place; the knights and advisers rejoiced, and so the King and other gentlemen went walking one day through the dense forests behind the castle. The dogs they brought were large and bred for sniffing out animals, and soon they caught trace of a sizeable creature – “A wolf?” a man asked, “A boar?” his friend supposed; suddenly a beast broke out from the underbrush and ran off, dashing through the trees with a line of dogs barking at his heels, the men following afterwards. “A bear!” King Haywood shouted. “I saw it and it’s definitely a bear! The largest I’ve ever seen.” They spent hours following the dogs, this way and that, nearly losing them several times, and every once in a while catching a glimpse of the large beast’s movement through the vegetation.
By the late afternoon, the dogs had trapped the bear, forcing it towards the end of a cliff edge. Without anywhere to go, the men drew their swords and bows, waiting for their King’s call. King Haywood took his place at the front of the crowd, taking in the size of the beast. It peered around desperately, and seemed to lock eyes with the men.
Suddenly it leapt forward, towards the King; before anyone could signal the dogs, the bear reached for the King’s hand, grasping it, the beast kissed his leg, then his foot. It then looked up at him with ink colored eyes; they were glassy and rounded, almost like buttons. And yet, the King saw a spark in the depths of the creature’s gaze; an undeniable human quality within them. He pushed past the fear he felt – for the beast still had a claw curled around his limb – because surely the thing would have decimated him by now, if its plan was to strike out. But it remained still, looking up at Ryan, its face set in what he had to label as a pleading expression.
His knights surrounding him murmured fearfully, as frozen as the King was, and only the bark from one of the hounds snapped King Haywood back to reality.
He put a hand out. “Stop! This is no ordinary animal – look how he kneels, like he’s begging for mercy.” Ryan swallowed, watching the bear carefully. “It would be inhumane, possibly dooming to kill him. Our hunt ends here.” Still anxious for his safety, he placed a hand on the bear’s head; the thing was unbothered, tilting its head upwards, leaning into his touch. The bear’s fur was soft and warm from the beast’s body heat and the sun beams that shone down onto the forest floor. “You have my word, noble… bear, that no harm will come to you.”
“Sir,” one of the knights said. “What shall we do now?” King Haywood glanced at his men, then at the still kneeling beast. After a moment, it moved its face, nuzzling his snout gently into Ryan’s palm. The King laughed out of surprise – the beast was more tempered than he had thought.
“I suppose we shall take the bear and place him in the castle. He hasn’t harmed me, or any of you. Something with such a human demeanor deserves to live like a human.”
The bear seemed to understand the King’s words, and it stood on all fours; it towered over all of the men in the clearing, and dwarfed the hounds, who sniffed him curiously. King Haywood sheathed his sword – the other knights did the same – and they all proceeded in a line out of the forest, the King in front, and the beast to his side.
Imagine the surprise of the rest of court, seeing the King and his knights return with a bear the size of a cottage, walking on all fours in time with his genial captor. The whole scene caused quite a stir, and some members of court wondered if their King had been knocked in the head while hunting; for King Haywood talked to the beast, and let it wander around the castle freely; there were no chains holding it, not even a leash. Luckily, the bear seemed fond of the King, and typically stayed by his side, following dutifully behind like a pup. The most disruptive the creature got was when it would nose at the King’s hand until the man would pet its head, or scratch its chin, and the bear would let out soft growls of contentment.
There were nobles who complained, of course, but even the residual grievances of the kingdom’s nobles were quelled when a pair of children – brought into court one day by their blueblood mother – had shaken themselves from her grip and began to crawl on top of the bear, who had been laying by the King’s throne. Everyone, especially the lady who had brought her children, watched in fear, waiting for the beast to roar and attack. Instead, it merely walked over to the hysterical woman, and let her pick her precious babies from its back before wandering back to where the King sat; from then on, the bear had irreversibly won the hearts of everyone in the castle.
For lack of a name, the King merely referred to him as Bear, or ‘noble beast’; he saw the creature as a treasure to the kingdom, a natural blessing to the country he ruled, and he made a public decree that no harm should befall the bear; it was given the best food, a large tub to be bathed in, and was brushed daily until his fur shined.
The King allowed the bear to roam through the castle grounds, and it followed the King everywhere he went, even to his own bed chambers! Ryan would attempt to talk the beast into leaving his rooms at night – for the bear must have understood human speech to some extent – but it never budged, and no amount of men could push such a large animal somewhere it didn’t want to go, so the King was resigned to keep the bear with him while he slept; he in bed, the beast curled up by the fireplace (though on occasion he would climb into Ryan’s bed while the man was asleep, and the King would wake, nearly falling onto the floor as the beast snored contentedly on top of the covers.)
The constant companionship worked wonders on the King’s temperament; while he was a generous and cunning ruler, everyone in the castle knew he had been pushed into a great sadness upon the death of his beloved warrior, Michael. His unexplained disappearance seemed like a crushing weight the King could never rise up from. And yet, in a matter of weeks it was as though the King was back to his old self; his laughter flowed throughout the halls like music; his smiles appeared often and easily; his posture no longer bent anxiously, and his steps took on a renewed confidence. It was only when his cherished bear came to stay with him that everyone could see the King was previously living as a shadow of his former self; and for that alone, the bear became a sacred symbol.
Perhaps the bear was magic, or at least a divine miracle. Even the King himself had noticed his own happiness had been found again. One night, nearly half a year after having found his companion, he sat in a chair by his bedroom window, the bear resting its head in the King’s lap. From where he sat, the King could see the capital’s green, surrounded by stout brick houses, their chimneys letting out gentle wafts of smoke into the sky. “Bear,” he murmured, and the beast lifted its head. Ryan pointed out the window. “You can’t see it from here,” he said, “But down below there’s the statue of our nation’s best warrior, a dear friend of mine. His name was Michael –” The bear moved suddenly, raising itself up on its hind legs to peer out the window. “I said you can’t see it!” Ryan said, laughing, tugging gently at the beast’s fur until it settled again. “In any case, he went missing over a year ago now.” The King sobered, and sunk both hands deep into the bear’s mane. “I don’t know which thought is worse – that he went out into the wilderness and died, or that he ran away for some other reason, instead. We were very close, you know; I knew nearly everything about him. But he would vanish for days at a time, and he would never say why.”
The bear chuffed softly and slid its head off Ryan’s lap. It used its mouth to tug gently at the King’s pant leg, a familiar gesture which told Ryan to stand up. He obeyed, and followed the bear to his bed. He worked his way under the covers, and blew out a candle that was placed by his bedside table. The bear’s dark eyes watched him as he situated himself, before the beast sat down on the floor by Ryan’s side. “I’m a blessed man to have found you, my friend,” he murmured in the darkness. A paw came up and touched the King’s hand, and Ryan let it drop off the mattress. He felt a wet tongue lick at his fingers, then a warm nose against his palm. The King smiled, resolute, and fell asleep with a hand on the noble beast’s head.
Many more months passed, and the King took a ride through the countryside of his kingdom – the bear naturally accompanying him. While the leisurely pace he traveled was like that of a vacation, his true purpose was to visit the various nobles who remained in the country permanently, collecting taxes from the farmers and villagers working on their property. This brought him to a large stretch of property that had once belonged to Michael himself, but was now ruled over by the very knight who condemned him to a life trapped inside a beast’s form.
Michael had since grown used to his new body, and perhaps could have gone on as such for the rest of his life; but when he caught sight of the retired knight’s face, a wave of rage came over him, and he leapt from the behind the carriage where he had been walking beside the King. He gave a roar full of carnivorous animosity and swiped at the human, watching with pleasure as he crumpled to the ground, blood blooming across his face.
There was a flurry of movement – the King jumped from his horse, caught between helping the baron or the bear, while the knight cursed and spat at the beast; “It’s crazed!” he shouted, knights flanking him and pulling him up onto his feet. “It’s going to kill all of us if we don’t strike it down first!” The King paled, watching with fear as what he thought was his tame beast growl dangerously at the baron. “Get it away from me!”
“I don’t understand,” one of the knights said frantically. “He’s lived with humans for more than a year, and he hasn’t even growled!”
“It’s a wild beast!” The baron shouted. “Kill it!”
Thinking frantically, the King spoke: “Could it be… that you offended it?” All the men stared at the King.
“How would I offend this thing?”
“He’s been nothing but polite, as though he were a person all this time. The only reason such a creature would act so out of character must be some sort of offense on your part.” The knight’s face flashed with fear, though he tried to conceal it. But Ryan was shrewd, a necessary component of a King, and he nodded to his guards. “If he won’t admit anything, then we can bring him back to the castle and hold him there until he confesses. I’m not above torture, if necessary.”
“You’re mad! He’s just as insane as that monster!” The baron wriggled in the grip of the knights, to no avail.
“Insulting your King? It’s you who must be crazed. Let’s tie his hands to the horse’s saddle and make him walk back to the castle –” As the baron was pulled, his hands tied at the wrist, he yelped and broke down. Not a strong man in physicality or feeling, he admitted his crimes.
“Alright, I’ll tell you! Just let me go.” Hesitantly, the knights stepped away from him. The King watched him warily. “The truth is, that beast used to be a man. A man you all knew very well. A man you thought was dead!” The King paled, and sent a horrified look at the bear, who was intent on watching the knight, its dark eyes flashing.
“Do you mean, Michael?” The King asked.
“He humiliated me!” The baron roared, fighting his binds. “He was a nuisance! Disappearing all the time to turn into that – that beast and back again! And yet you still admired him the most. Oh, I wish I could have killed him, but I thought I’d never see him, as a man or a bear, ever again.”
“Then… he can be turned back into a man?” The King asked.
“Is that your only concern?” The baron spat, making the bear – Michael – growl again and step protectively in front of the King.
“Michael, whether a man or a beast, has been more useful to me than you have ever been.” The King straightened his stance and squared his shoulders. “I hereby ban you from your kingdom, for your crimes against a fellow knight.” He directed two of his men to hoist the baron onto a horse, and take him far outside the kingdom’s borders with no regard as to where he was left. The man could go to a new land or starve for all he cared, he just knew he wanted the man far away from him, or from Michael.
The baron attempted to fight, to curse the King and his knights, all while travelling down the road and slowly out of sight. Ryan turned his attention back to the bear. “Well, surely you must know how to change back?” he asked hopefully. Michael dipped his head, and began walking towards the house that had once been his.
Ryan opened the doors, and Michael walked through, snout high in the air as he sniffed. Passing from room to room, the King’s hopes slowly dimmed like a dying candle – whatever Michael was searching for, could he find it? What if that baron had already gotten rid of whatever it was Michael needed to turn back to a man? He fretted and frowned, dutifully following Michael and opening any closed doors the creature wished to inspect.
Eventually, they found the baron’s own bedchambers. Michael nosed around, focusing on the man’s wardrobe and pawing at the door. Ryan opened it, staring into its contents. Once again, Michael began to paw at something, and Ryan took out a wooden box that sat on the bottom of the wardrobe. Opening it, he found now musty pair of nightclothes. “Are these… yours?” Michael nodded, the gesture looking quite strange on him. “Well! Put them back on and we can take you home a man!” Michael merely stared at him, and sat back on his haunches. “Michael?” The bear let out a huff, and ducked down, delicately taking the clothes into his mouth and wandering out of the room, and out of the house entirely. He deposited the clothes in a knight’s arms and began walking down the road, the way they had come. The knights asked what the King’s orders were, and though he had no idea what Michael was waiting for, or what he was meant to do, he declared that they were going back to the castle in order for Michael to transform into himself properly.
When they reached the castle, Michael took the clothes back into his mouth and found his boarded up bedchamber. The King ordered for it to be opened and prepared, desperately wishing that his guesses were correct.
Once the bedchamber was in a clean state, Michael wandered inside, and, before the King or any curious servants or knights could follow, he nosed the door shut.
“Does he want privacy, perhaps?” One of the knights supposed.
“Why would a bear need privacy?” Another asked.
“I suppose Michael always had some secrets,” The King said. “I will check on him in a few hours. And, God willing, he will be a man by then.”
Hours passed at a torturous pace, and the poor King thought he would go mad before the end of it. Michael, dear Michael, alive and living under their nose for so long! Would he even be able to transform back? He took a seat by the window in his chambers overlooking the town. He watched the sun crest, then fall, and sink beyond the sky. Then he finally rose and found his way to Michael’s room.
He quietly opened the door and nearly shouted in surprise – for there wasn’t a beast on the floor, but a man asleep in his bed!
The King quickly ran to his side and held him close, pressing a dozen kisses to his beloved knight’s face to wake him up, then another dozen more when he saw the familiar brown eyes open, and the fondly remembered mouth turn up into a smile.
“It’s you,” the King said, unable to catch his breath or still his heart. Michael did not speak at first, instead wiping the tears from his King’s eyes, and pressing a kiss to his lips.
“It is,” Michael replied, voice faint and raspy from so little use. “I’ve returned to you, my King, and this time I won’t be leaving so easily.” They shared a grin, and Ryan held Michael even tighter, promising the return of all his land, and treasures, and more gifts that could be named.
“Does this mean we’ll have to remove my statue in the town square?” Michael kidded.
“My dear,” the King said, “not only will we keep it, but we shall have entire days of celebration to honor you – and your beastly form.”
And so with the King and his knight happily reunited, the kingdom prospered, and moreover, Michael never had to hide his beastly nature from the kingdom again, and no matter what form he took on, he was always regarded as a joy for all to see.
The End.
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Canon Wincest quotes in SPN:
(Dean, Sam, S1-S15)
“Sammy”
“Dee” (11.04, 11.12, 14.03)
(Dean & Sam, S1-S15)
“Bitch”
“Jerk”
(Larry & Lynda, 1.08)
“Let me just say, we accept homeowners of any race, religion, color, or... sexual orientation.”
“Let me just say, that we accept homeowners of any race, religion, color, or... sexual orientation.”
(Dean, 1.11)
“You’ve always known what you want. And you go after it. You stand up to Dad. And you always have. Hell, I wish I—anyway… I admire that about you. I’m proud of you, Sammy.”
(John & Sam, 1.22)
“Killing this demon comes first, before me, before everything.”
“No, sir. Not before everything.”
(Dean & Sam, 2.07)
“What do you think, Scully?”
“I'm not Scully, you're Scully.”
“No, I'm Mulder. You're a red-headed woman.”
(Dean, 2.09)
“You make a move on him, you’ll be dead before you hit the ground.”
(Sam & Dean, 2.09)
“It’s over for me. It doesn’t have to be over for you. You can keep going!”
“What if I don’t want to?!“
(Henrikson & Dean, 2.12)
“Yeah, I know about Sammy. The Bonnie to your Clyde.”
“Yeah, well, that part's true”
(Bobby & Dean, 2.15)
“You're bickering like an old married couple.”
“No, see married couples can get divorced. Me and him, we're like, uh, Siamese twins.”
(Molly & Sam, 2.16)
“Right before, we were having the dumbest fight. It was the only time we ever really argued, when we were stuck in the car.”
“Yeah, I know how that goes.”
“You know the last thing I said to him? I called him a jerk.”
(Dean & Sam, 2.20)
“It was just a wish. I wished for Mom to live. That Mom never died, we never went hunting and you and me just never uh... you know.”
“Yeah. Well, I'm glad we do.”
(Bobby & Dean, 2.22)
“Something big is going down, end of the world big.”
“Well, then let it end!“
(Dean, 2.22)
“I’m gonna take care of you, I’m gonna take care of you, I gotcha. That’s my job, right? Watch out for my pain in the ass little brother?”
(Sam, 2.22)
“I mean, you sacrifice everything for me. Don't you think I'd do the same for you? You're my big brother. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you.”
(Sam & Tamara & Isaac, 3.01)
“So, how long you two been married?”
“Eight years this past June.”
“The family that slays together...”
“Right. I'm with you there.”
(Dean, 3.01)
“Because I couldn't live with you dead. Couldn't do it.”
(Kyle & Sam, 3.05)
“This guy, he... he killed my brothers. How would you feel?”
“Can’t imagine anything worse.”
(Dean & Sam, 3.06)
“Look at you, sticking up for your girlfriend. You cougar hound.”
“Bite me.”
“Hey, not if she bites you first.”
(Sam, 3.07)
“I just wish you would drop the show and be my brother again. Cause…just cause.”
(Dean, 3.11)
“Sammy, I get all tingly when you take control like that.”
(Trickster, 3.11)
“This obsession to save Dean? The way you two keep sacrificing yourselves for each other? [...] Dean’s your weakness. And the bad guys know it, too.”
(Sam & Dean, 3.15)
“Then, whatever the magic pill is, I'll take it too!”
“Oh, what is this? Sid and Nancy?”
(Dean, 3.16)
“Sammy, all I’m saying, is that you’re my weak spot. You are, and I’m yours.”
(Dean, 3.16)
“SAM! SAAAAM!!”
(Sam & a crossroads demon, 4.09)
“I don't want ten years. I don't want one year. I don't want candy! I want to trade places with Dean.”
“No.”
“Just take me! It's a fair trade!”
(Cara & Sam, 4.14)
“Haven't you ever been in a relationship where you really love somebody and still kinda wanted to bash their head in?”
“Sounds like you're speaking from experience.”
[...]
“His name was Karl. We were married. [...] I mean I loved him. Still do I guess but... I don't know. It's like one day I looked up and I was living with a stranger and... you know what I mean, right?”
“I guess. Or, I don't know, maybe.”
(Nick, 4.14)
“I gave him what he needed. And it wasn’t some bitch in a G-string. It was you. A little brother that looked up to him”
(Dean, 5.04)
“Because whatever we have between us... love, family, whatever it is...”
(Dean, 5.04)
“The point is…maybe we are each others Achilles heel. Maybe they’ll find a way to use us against each other, I don’t know. I just know we’re all we’ve got. More than that. We keep each other human.”
(Hotel manager, 5.09)
“And at 4.30 there's the 'Homoerotic Subtext of Supernatural.'”
(Dean & Castiel & Sam, 5.13)
“Really? Anna? I don't believe it.”
“It’s true.”
“So she's gone all Glenn Close, huh? That's awesome.”
“Who's Glenn Close?”
“No one, just this psycho bitch who likes to boil rabbits.”
“So the plan to kill me, would it actually stop Satan?”
(Ash, 5.16)
“A few people share. Special cases. Whatnot. […] Aw you know, like, uh, soulmates.“
(Zachariah, 5.18)
“You know Sam and Dean Winchester are psychotically, irrationality, erotically codependent on each other right?”
(Dean & AU!Sam/Dean & Sam, 2.20 & 5.18)
“Why are you doing this?”
“Because you’re still my (big) brother.”
(Castiel, 5.18)
“I don't have the same faith in you that Sam does.“
(Crowley, 5.20)
“My valet hid a tracking device in your car, a magical coin that easily trumps your little bags o' bones. It allows me to hear things, too and, my, the things I've heard.”
(Chuck, 5.22)
“This is the stuff that's important. The army man that Sam crammed in the ashtray – it's still stuck there. The Legos that Dean shoved into the vents – to this day, heat comes on and they can hear 'em rattle. These are the things that make the car theirs - really theirs. Even when Dean rebuilt her from the ground up, he made sure all these little things stayed.”
Chuck, 5.22)
“In between jobs, Sam and Dean would sometimes get a day – sometimes a week, if they were lucky. [...] They could go anywhere and do anything. They drove 1,000 miles for an Ozzy show, two days for a Jayhawks game. And when it was clear, they'd park her in the middle of nowhere, sit on the hood, and watch the stars... for hours... without saying a word.”
(Dean, 5.22)
“Sam, it’s okay. It’s okay, I’m here, I’m here. I’m not gonna leave you.”
(Sam, 5.22)
“It’s okay, Dean, it’s gonna be okay. I got him.”
(Chuck, 5.22)
“Dean didn't want Cas to save him. Every part of him, every fiber he's got, wants to die, or find a way to bring Sam back. But he isn't gonna do either. Because he made a promise.”
(Chuck, 5.22)
“I'd say this was a test... for Sam and Dean. And I think they did all right. Up against good, evil, angels, devils, destiny, and God himself, they made their own choice. They chose family. And, well... isn't that kinda the whole point?”
(Dean, 6.01)
“So I'm dead? This is Heaven?”
(Sam & Dean, 6.01)
“You finally had what you wanted, Dean.”
“I wanted my brother. Alive.”
(Lisa, 6.06)
“You two have the most unhealthy, tangled-up, crazy thing I’ve ever seen.“
(Veritas, 6.06)
“Mallory to your Mickey.”
(Dean & Sam, 6.15)
“Yeah, but here, you got a pretty good life. I mean, back home, the hits have been coming since you were 6 months old. You got to admit, being a bazillionare, married to Ruby, the whole package. It's no contest.”
“No, you know, you were right. We just don't mean the same thing here. I mean, we're not even brothers here, man.”
“All right, then. Let's get our crazy show back home.”
(Sam & Dean, 6.15)
[Sam knocks on the wall.]
“Solid. It's real. Nice.”
“Yeah. Yeah, real, moldy, termite-eaten home sweet home. Chock full of crap that wants to skin you. Oh, and, uh, we're broke again.”
“Yeah. But, hey... at least we're talking.“
(Sam, 6.22)
“I was with two guys. One was like a male model type, and the other was an older guy named Bobby.”
(Balthazar, 6.22)
“How's Sleeping Beauty? You didn't steal any kisses, I trust?”
(Tortured!Sam & Sam, 6.22)
“Why is this so important to you?”
“You know me. You know why. I'm not leaving my brother alone out there.”
(Sam & Don & Maggie, Sam & Dean, 7.05)
“See? Guys, guys... You're talking. All these years, you... you buried your anger and your disappointment till it tore you apart. All you needed to do was talk.”
“He's right. I couldn't kill you. All I ever wanted is you, Mags. I've been crushing on you since forever. You're the woman that I want to never grow old with.”
“I could never murder you either, Don. It's crazy... But true.”
[...]
“Hey, were you, um, were you listening to the Starks tonight?”
“Uh, a little, when I wasn't getting slammed into a wall or stung by bees.”
“You notice how they, uh, you know, how they... how they opened up, got everything off their chest?”
“Yeah. Kudos on selling them that crap.”
“It wasn't crap, Dean. It worked.”
(Dean, 7.06)
“Sammy. Not Sammy.”
(Leviathan!Sam, 7.06)
“You could be anything. You're strong, uninhibited, smart enough, believe it or not, but you're so caught up in being good and taking care of each other.”
(Dean, 8.03)
“I know where I'm at my best, and that is right here, driving down crazy street next to you.”
(Mrs. Holmes, 8.03)
“I don't think he could bear the thought of life without me. That's why he drove off that bridge.”
(Michael, 8.04)
“Is it just me or are you getting a workplace romance vibe from those two?”
(Kate & Michael & Brian, Dean, 8.04)
“I'm pretty sure that FBI agents don't say "awesome" that much. You know? And they definitely don't hunt and kill college kids.”
“Did... did they say anything else?”
“Dude, they just sat and talked about how they have been apart for a year. You were probably right about that whole office-romance thing.”
[...]
“Do I really say "awesome" a lot?”
(Sam & Amelia, 8.05)
“You have no idea where you're going, either, do you?”
“No. Not really.”
“And that's because you have no one. I mean, at all, right? I mean, that's why you're... here, in this place.”
“I used to... have someone, I mean. But that's over now. It's gone. You know what that's like, don't you?”
(Dean & Sam, 8.10)
“What do you want to hear, Sam? That I was wrong? Fine. I was wrong. Okay? But if you’d have just heard me out, if you’d have trusted me, all of this could have been avoided.”
“You didn’t want me to trust you. You wanted me to trust Benny, and I can’t do that.”
“Right. Okay, well, then, what the hell do we do now?”
“That depends. It depends on you. On whether or not you’re done with him.”
(Dean, 8.14)
“I want you to get out. I want you to have a life, become a Man of Letters, whatever. You, with a wife and kids, and grandkids, living till you're fat and bald and chugging Viagra... that is my perfect ending.”
(Dean & Sam, 8.14)
“Sam, be smart.”
“I am smart, and so are you. You’re not a grunt, Dean. You’re a genius. When it comes to lore you’re the best damn hunter I have ever seen, better than me, better than dad. I believe in you, Dean. So, please, please believe in me, too.”
(Dean, 8.23)
“There is nothing, past or present, that I would put in front of you.”
(Ezekial/Gadreel as Dean, 9.01)
“I made you a promise, in that church. You and me. Come whatever.”
(Ezekial/Gadreel as Dean, 9.01)
“There ain’t no me, if there ain’t no you.“
(Jody, 9.08)
“Come on. You and Dean? That's something special, don't you think?”
(Castiel & Sam, 9.11)
“Sam, the trials. You chose not to go through with them for a reason, didn't you? You chose to live rather than to sacrifice yourself. You and Dean, you chose each other.”
“Yeah, I did. We did.”
(Alonso, 9.13)
“Hey, new guy. Quit flirtin’ with the trainer and keep scoopin’, huh?”
(Dean, 9.23)
“I’m proud of us.”
(Sam, 10.02)
“I don’t care. Because you’re my brother and I’m here to take you home.”
(Sam, 10.03)
“Come back. [...] Come back to me.”
(Dean, 10.03)
“What did Sam say? Does he want a divorce?”
(Castiel, 10.03)
“It’d take a lot more than trying to kill Sam with a hammer to make him want to walk away.”
(Dean & Sam, 10.04)
“I never even said thank you, so...”
“You don't ever have to say that, not to me.”
(Dean & Marie, 10.05)
“Why are they standing so close together?”
“Reasons.”
“You know they're brothers, right?”
“Well, duh but, subtext.”
(Dean, 10.05)
“I don't need a symbol to remind me how I feel about my brother.”
(Marie as Sam & Sam, 10.05)
“The two of us against the world!”
“What she said.”
(Heddy & Beverly, 10.06)
“I knew those boys were trailer trash the moment they rolled up in that American-made.”
“Not to mention homosexuals.”
“Homosexual murderers. Like Leopold and Loeb.”
(Sam, 10.12)
“Look, man… do I wish the mark was gone? Yes, of course. Absolutely, I do, but… I wanted you back.”
(Sam, 10.18)
“This is my life. I love it. But I can't do it without my brother. I don't want to do it without my brother. And if he's gone, then I don't...”
(Sam, 10.18)
“If there’s a cure, we’ll do it and deal with the consequences later. I can’t lose you.”
(Sam, 10.23)
“You will never, ever hear me say that you—the real you—is anything but good.”
(Dean, 10.23)
“Close your eyes. [A tear runs down Sam’s face as he continues to look up at Dean.] Sammy, close your eyes.”
(Sam, 10.23)
“Take these. And one day, when you find your way back. Let these be your guide. And they can help you remember what it was to be good. What it was to love.”
(Sam & Dean, 11.01)
“I unleashed a force on this world that could destroy it, to save you.”
“And I told you not to.”
“And I'd do it again. In a second, I would do it again.”
(Sam, 11.04)
“Dee, it’s late, I’m exhausted.”
(Sam, 11.04)
“We are home.“
(Lucifer & Sam, 11.10)
“No wait, here’s my personal favorite, is you doing every stupid thing you could to cure the Mark, even after you knew it would go bad.”
“My brother was dying!”
“Yes! And you’d do anything to save him. And he’d do anything to save you. And that is the problem. [...] you’re so overcome by guilt that you can’t stand to lose Dean again and he could never lose you, and so instead of choosing the world you choose each other, no matter how many innocent people die.”
(Dean, 11.11)
“All that matters now, all that’s ever mattered, is that we’re together.“
(Sam, 11.12)
“Dee, listen...”
(Sam, 11.16)
“The nest messes with their victim's head, shows them things they love, parts of their soul in distress.”
(Sam & Dean, 11.16)
“You said the soul eater made you see things, plural. So, what else did you see?”
“I saw you, dead on the floor.”
“How messed up are our lives, that you seeing a vision of dead-me is actually kind of comforting?”
(Dean, 11.17)
“Bring him back. Bring him back and take me instead.”
(Michelle, 11.17)
���I watched the man I love die. There's no normal after that.”
(Dean & Cesar, 11.19)
“You guys fight just like brothers. Almost as bad as us.”
“Well, it's more like an old married couple.”
(Dean, 11.20)
“I’m not leaving you, ever!”
(Dean & Sam, 11.23)
“C’mon, you know the drill. No chick flick moments, c’mon.”
“Yeah, you love chick flicks.”
“Yeah, you’re right I do, come here.”
(Dean, 11.23)
“I need him, he needs me.“
(Dean, 12.01)
“Listen, bitch. I don't care who you are, I don't care what you want. You have my brother. [...] Now, I'm gonna give you one chance, just one, to hand Sam back. [...] You think you can run from me? Try it. Because when I find you, and I will find you, if he is not in one piece, I will take you apart. You understand me? [Lady Toni hangs up, Dean snaps Gregory’s cellphone in half.]”
(Mary & Dean, 12.02)
“Sam had a chance to get out, and he came back?”
“When Dad disappeared, Sam and I looked around and something became very clear. The only thing we had in this world, the only thing aside from this car, was each other.”
(Dean & Sam, 12.06)
“He’s more of a, uh… animated Japanese erotica chick.”
“Don’t tell her that!”
“Tell her what?”
“It’s Jody, man.”
“Dude, be proud of your hobbies. It makes you who you are.”
(Dean & Billie, 12.06)
[Dean is pounding on the door, trying to get in.]
“Sam. Sammy! Hey!”
“You can huff and puff, but that house is on supernatural lockdown. They can’t even hear you.”
“Hunters are dying in there.”
“Everyone dies.”
“You got in there. You got in there to reap that soul. You can get me in.”
“But it’s a one-way ticket. And you’re gonna owe me one.”
[The door glows and Dean tumbles through it and rolls into the room.]
“Where’s my brother?!”
(Dean, 12.07)
“We're the brothers that rock together.”
(Dean, 12.09)
“Being locked in that cell, with nothing? I’ve been to hell, this was worse.”
(Sam & Dean, 12.11)
”Dean, do you remember HBO?”
”Uh...”
”Cinemax?”
”Skinemax?”
”Great, alright, come here. We’re just gonna sit you right here.”
“Is this like, live Skinemax?”
(Dean, 12.11)
[Sam screams in pain.]
“S-Sam?”
(Sam & Dean, 12.11)
“I can’t believe you rode Larry.”
“Hey, I was awesome on that bull. I was like a God.”
(Sam & Dean, 12.11)
“Just, you know, some of the things we've done, we've had this weight for- forever. And seeing it gone, you looked happy.“
“Look, was it nice to drop our baggage? Yeah, maybe. Hell, probably. But it wasn't just the crap that got lost, I mean it was everything. It was us. It was what we do, you know? All of it. So... that's what being happy looks like? I think I'll pass.“
(Dean, 12.14)
“Sammy? Lucy?!”
(Sam & Dean, 12.15)
“Dude, why don’t you take a shower and change your clothes, you’ve been wearing the same pair of boxers for four days.”
“Okay, one, weird that you know how much underwear I’ve packed...”
“That’s what’s weird about this?”
(Dean & Sam, 12.15)
“Alright, let’s get to it then.”
“Yeah, that’s fine, um... after you get cleaned up.”
“I got baby wipes in the car.”
“Dude! Dean, I’m serious man. You smell like roadkill.”
“That’s ‘cause I do all the heavy lifting. ... Alright, but I’m using that fancy shampoo you keep hidden from me.”
(Gwen, Sam & Dean, 12.15)
“Why couldn’t I just tell him the truth? I didn’t, I lied. I lied to make things easier.”
[...]
“Either way, I shouldn’t have lied to you and I’m sorry, man, I”
“Well, okay.”
(Sam & Dean, 12.15)
“Every job we’ve worked in the last two weeks, they’ve all come from the British Men of Letters.”
“Really.”
“Yeah, I didn’t tell you because I know how much you hate them.”
“No, we hate them. Us. Together.”
(Mick & Sam & Dean, 12.16)
“Kendrick’s is the largest collection of occult lore in the world.”
“Cool.”
[Dean gives ultimate bitchface.]
(Mick & Sam, 12.16)
“Booked us all suites.”
“Wait, you... we’re in separate rooms?”
(Dean, 12.16)
“Yeah. Sam’s best friend. They’re like nerd soulmates.”
(Sam & Dean, 12.22)
“Is this how you pictured it? The end?”
“You know it's not. I always thought we'd go out like Butch and Sundance style. Blaze of glory.”
(Dean & Sam, 12.22)
“You come back.”
“Promise.”
“Bitch.”
“Jerk.”
(Sandy & Dean, 13.17)
“What are you doing?”
“They took my brother. I’m gonna get him back.”
[Dean continues to make chemical bombs.]
(Dean & Sam, 13.19)
“WHERE THE HELL IS MY BROTHER?!”
[Dean enters the room where Sam is being held.]
“SAM!”
“DEAN!”
(Dean & Sam, 13.20)
“I don’t care what happens to me, I never really have, but I do care what happens to my brother.”
“Dean, we're going to that place, and we're gonna save Jack and Mom. Together. And if something happens, we will deal with it together. And if we die? We'll do that together, too.”
(Dean to Sam, 13.22)
“I thought I’d lost you, man.”
(Dean to Sam, 13.22)
“We’ve lost friends, we’ve lost family, we’ve lost each other.“
(Dean, 13.23)
“Sammy!”
[Lucifer disappears with Sam and Jack.]
“SAMMY!”
(Castiel & Dean, 13.23)
“Dean, you can’t.”
“Lucifer has Sam!”
(Anael & Michael!Dean, 14.01)
“Why would he say yes to you?”
“Love.”
(Sam, 14.01)
“If it meant finding Dean, I’d... I’d do anything.”
(Dean, 14.02)
“Sammy... It’s me...”
(Dean & Sam, Jody, 14.03)
“It’s just every time I think about it, it’s like a nightmare. I mean, I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, it’s just always there... watching.”
“Dee, it’s just a beard. I’ve been a little busy lately.”
“Well, that’s not an excuse ‘cause Duck Dynasty called and they want it all back.”
“Some people say I look good.“
“No. No Sam. No people say that.“
[...]
“Hey, I like it!”
[Sam is smug, Dean is exasperated.]
(Dean & Spencer & Sam, 14.03)
“Yeah, not Michael anymore.”
“Right, Chief told us. Welcome back.”
“Chief?”
“Yeah, I asked them not to call me that.”
[Dean is exasperated.]
(Jody to Sam, 14.03)
“First love strikes quick, and to lose it like that… Wow, you two are having a time of it.“
(Sam to Dean, 14.03)
“For me, you were gone, for weeks. I didn’t know if you were alive… I just need you to talk to me, slow down so I can catch up.”
(Dean & Sam, 14.04)
“Oh wow.”
“What?”
[Dean gestures to his jaw.]
“Oh. Yes, I shaved.”
“I mean, it’s so smooth. It’s like a... dolphin’s belly.”
(Dean & Sam, Samantha, 14.04)
“Soft, delicate features, luxurious hair, she’s like your wonder twin.”
“What? What are you talking about?”
[Sam and Samantha simultaneously push their hair behind their ears.]
(Stuart & Dean & Sam, 14.04)
“I broke it off before we could MIRL.”
“Merle?”
“M.I.R.L Meet in real life.”
“Why do you know what that means?”
(Dean to Sam, 14.04)
“Thanks, man. You, uh... You got me out here 'cause you needed to get me out my funk and get me a win, and you did. So... thanks.”
(Sam & Dean, 14.04)
“Hey Dean, when we get back to the bunker, man, you gotta stop hiding out in your room.”
“I’m not hiding out.”
“And I get why you’re doing it, I do. What happened with Michael... you said yes for me. For Jack, for your family. You did the right thing. And what happened after [...] I don’t blame you, no one blames you, but you gotta try to stop blaming yourself. Please.”
“I’m never going to get over it, okay? I’m just not. But you’re right. [...] Whatever you need, I’m there.”
(Dean to Sam, 14.04)
“Alright, Chief?”
(Dean & Sam, 14.04)
“Next year we're doing Halloween right, okay? I'm thinking matching outfits. Batman and Robin.”
“No.”
“Bert and Ernie.”
“No.”
“Yeah, that’s weird.”
“Yes.”
“Uh, Rocky and Bullwinkle.”
“Dean.”
“Shaggy and Scooby!”
“Why would we...”
“Turner and Hooch.”
“Ugh.”
“Ren and Stimpy.”
“Come on now...”
“Thelma and Louise!”
“Thelma and...”
“ We just put it in drive and go.”
(Dean to AU!Bobby, Dean to Sam, 14.05)
“He’s doing his best. He’s doing better than his best.”
“Well, she learned from the best.”
(Jack to Dean, Charlie to Sam, 14.06)
“Sam wanted someone around when you came back. He’s worried about you.”
“He’ll be fine. Your brother, I mean.”
(Dean to Jack, 14.06)
“Sam won’t like it.” [aka mom]
“Remind me to give you the talk later.” [aka dad]
(Dean to Kaia, 14.09)
“I need that spear to save Sam so, if you’re not going to give it to me, kill me.”
(Michael!Dean to Sam, 14.09)
“Dean was... resisting me. He was too attached to you.”
(Sam & Dean, 14.11)
“You were gonna leave, and you weren’t even gonna tell me. Me!”
“You're the last person I could tell, the last person I could be around, cause you're the only one who coulda talked me out of it!”
(Sam & Dean, 14.11)
“But there has to be another way...”
“There’s not, okay? Sam, you’ve tried [...] and I love you for trying.”
(Chuck to Sam & Dean, 15.19)
“Hey, guys. Enjoying a little alone time?“
(Sam & Dean to Chuck, 15.19)
“We'll give you what you want.”
“The whole Cain and Abel thing, us dead, whatever. I'll kill Sam, Sam will kill me, we'll kill each other. Okay? You pick. But, first, you got to put everything back the way it was. The people, the birds. Cass.”
(Sam & Dean, 15.19)
“You know, with Chuck not writing our story anymore, we get to write our own. You know, just you and me going wherever the story takes us. Just us.”
“Finally free.”
[Sam and Dean drive off into the sunset together on a road trip.]
(Sam & Dean, 15.20)
[Ordinary Life by Van Morrison plays over domestic montage in the bunker.]
(Sam & Dean, 15.20)
“You got anything?”
“I got something.”
[Dean takes Sam to a pie festival.]
(Sam to Dean, 15.20)
[Sam smashes a slice of cream pie in Dean’s face.]
“I have wanted to do that for a very long time.”
[Dean scrapes the cream off his face with his fork and eats it.]
“You’re right, I do feel better.”
(QOTD board, 15.20, Barn Scene, The Night We Met by Lord Huron)
(Sam & Dean, 15.20)
“I'll call for help. I'll get the first aid kit.“
“Sam, Sam! Sam... stay with me. Can you stay with me, please?”
“Okay. Yeah.”
“Okay. Alright. Listen to me, you get those boys and you get them someplace safe, alright?”
“We [motioning to both of them] are gonna get them somewhere safe.”
“No. You knew it was always gonna end like this for me, it was supposed to end like this, right? I mean, look at us, saving people, hunting things... it's what we do.”
“No, no. Stop, okay? Just... just stop.”
“It’s okay, it’s good. We had one hell of a ride, man.”
“I will find a way, okay? I... I will find another way.”
“No, man. No. No, no, no, no. No bringing me back, okay? You know... you know that always ends bad.”
“Dean...”
“Okay.”
“Please...”
“I'm fading pretty quick, so... there's a few things that I need you to hear. Come here.”
[Sam moves close and Dean puts his hand on the side of his neck.]
“Let me look at you. Yeah, there he is. I'm so proud of you, Sam.”
[Dean’s hand on Sam’s shoulder, Sam holding onto Dean’s wrist.]
“You know that? I've always looked up to you. Man, when we were kids, you were so damn smar... smart. You never... you never took any of dad's crap. I never knew how you did that. And you're stronger than me. You always have been. Hey, did I ever tell you... did I ever tell you that night that, uh... that I ca... that I came for you when you were at school? You know, when dad hadn't come back from his hunting trip?”
“Yeah, um.. uh, the woman in white.”
“The woman in white, that’s right. I must have stood outside your dorm for hours... because I didn't... I didn't know what... what you would say. I thought you'd tell me to... to get lost or get dead. And I don't know what I would've done... if I didn't have you. 'Cause I was so scared. I was scared, 'cause when it all came down to it, it was always you and me. It's always been you... and me.”
[Sam is crying.]
“Then don't leave me. Don't leave me. I can't do this alone.”
“Yes, you can.”
“Well, I don’t want to.”
“Hey, I'm not leaving you. I'm gonna be with you... right here.”
[Dean is crying, he places his fist over Sam’s heart.]
“Right here... every day. Every day you're out there and you’re li... and you're living and you're fighting, 'cause you...you always keep fighting. You hear me? I'll be there every step. I love you so much, my baby brother. Oh, man. Well, I did not think this would be the day. But it is. It is, and that's... that's okay. I need you to... I need you to promise me. I need you to... to tell me... that it's okay. I need you to tell me that it's okay.”
[Sam looks away, shaking his head.]
“No.”
“Look at me. Look at me. I need... I need you to tell me that it's okay. I need you to tell me... tell me it's okay.”
[Sam places his hand over Dean’s on Dean’s chest.]
“Dean… it's okay. You can go now.”
“Goodbye, Sam. Goodbye.”
[Dean closes his eyes, a single tear falling down his face, his head falls onto Sam’s shoulder, Sam holds onto Dean and starts crying hard and brokenly.]
(Sam & Miracle, 15.20)
[Brothers in Arms by Dire Straits plays over montage of Dean’s funeral and Sam grieving in the bunker.]
(Sam, 15.20)
[Sam wears Dean’s hoodie and watch and takes Dean’s duffle when he leaves the bunker.]
(Dean & Bobby, 15.20)
[Dean arrives outside the Roadhouse, Bobby sitting on the porch.]
”What memory is this?”
”It ain’t, ya idgit. [...] That kid of yours, before he went wherever, made some changes here, [...] he set some things right. Tore down all the walls up here. Heaven ain't just reliving your golden oldies anymore, it's what it always should have been, everyone happy, everyone together. [...] Your mom and dad, they got a place over yonder. It ain't just Heaven, Dean, it's the Heaven you deserve, and we've been waiting for you.”
(Dean & Bobby, 15.20)
[Dean looks a little pensive, a little sad.]
“It’s almost perfect.”
“He’ll be along.”
(Bobby & Dean, 15.20)
“You got everything you could ever want or need or dream, so, I guess the question is, what are you gonna do now, Dean?”
[Dean looks over and Baby is there, wearing her original license plates.]
“I think I’ll go for a drive.
[Dean walks over to Baby.]
“Hey, Baby.”
(Dean, Sam, 15.20)
[Carry on Wayward Son by Kansas plays over montage of Dean driving in Heaven and Sam raising Dean Jr. on Earth.]
[Sam, old and gray, removes a dustcover from Baby and sits in the drivers seat as though he can feel or imagine Dean there.]
(Dean Jr. & Sam, Dean & Sam, 15.20)
[Carry on Wayward Son by Neoni plays.]
[Sam, very old now, lies in a hospital bed in his living room, surrounded by photos of Dean, John, Mary, Bobby, and Dean Jr.]
“Dad, it's okay, you can go now.”
[Sam nods, places his hand on Dean Jr’s. He closes his eyes, his head falls to the side and a single tear falls down his face.]
[Dean stops on a bridge and enjoys the view, he gets a look of awareness on his face that turns into a happy grin.]
“Hey Sammy.”
[Dean turns to see Sam, he’s the same age he was the night Dean died.]
“Dean.”
[The boys look each other over and note they’re both wearing the same clothes they had on the night Dean came and got Sam from Stanford. They smile at each other, relieved and happy and joyous and emotional, and hug. They walk over to the railing, Dean’s arm around Sam, and enjoy the view.]
Comparisons, parallels, direct lines, feel free to add to this list.
#wincest#wincest quotes#canon wincest#12 years of wincest#smug wincest shipper#i better not have to put a disclaimer on this fucker too#mine
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