#simon you asshole
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work it out (part 2)
early access + nsfw on patreon
#simon you asshole#he knows exactly what he's doing#slow burns gotta slow burn and buddy we are at barely a simmer#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#monster 141 au#giragi art#promise next couple parts will be action packed#have to maintain a mix yknow
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"But if college was free, then people would abuse that and get useless degrees" hell yeah I would! If I could go to college without debt I would make it my job to get a degree in every little thing that interested me. I'd get a doctorate in film studies. I'd have a bachelor's degree for every science I like. I'd try to learn at least 5 languages with varying results. I would learn something "useful" like coding and then follow it up with a ""useless"" degree like art history. I'd be the world record speed run holder for getting every degree possible.
But I can't afford college without going into massive debt, so instead I spent the last 5 years trying to figure out what I am passionate enough about to consider going into debt over, because unfortunately being passionate about everything is extremely expensive to pursue.
#simon says#i love learning so much and I hate the USA's college debt system#once they make that shit free I will be unstoppable#this topic sprung up because I had the idea that im very academic and annoyingly analytical that I might as well get a degree in it#because without a degree you just seem like an autistic asshole#but with a degree? then you look like a CREDIBLE autistic asshole#don't worry I will still learn but I still want that funky piece of paper to tell everyone I learnt it#also there's some things that are VERY difficult to learn#like I would love to persue this topic further but unfortunately I would need help with that#also before you say 'try taking [blank] classes instead! it's less expensive than a degree!' im broke#my only learning resource is the library sorry about that#also this is not the post to give me unwarranted financial advice#finances are one of the topics I DO NOT care about and I WILL NOT listen to a word you say
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Soap: Have you never lost anyone close to you? What would you do if say… Ghost died
Gaz: Is he actually dead this time or just fucking around again?
Soap: Actually dead. What would you do?
Gaz: Before or after I start laughing?
#scheduled#don’t let gaz fool you he would be devastated losing his favorite asshole#call of duty#cod mwii#modern warfare ii#john soap mactavish#kyle gaz garrick#simon ghost riley#incorrect quotes
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Signal Lost
I've had something happen to me that's so incredible and that I could have never hoped, something so touching and so unbelievable that it made me rethink a whole lot of stuff: a wonderful reader on Ao3 started reading my long-form fic (101k words!!!) and commented basically every chapter after a certain point. And wow, I would have never thought something like this might happen.
And yeah, it is my first fic with plot in it, yeah I will never believe it to be perfect, but it's good enough. And receiving all those emails from Ao3 really was the highlight of my days over the course of which I saw said reader slowly go through all my favorite parts!
And so I wish to give it some spotlight here, while I'm finishing up my school year and work and whatever! I will post this here for now, but I will drop chapters every few days and make a Masterlist for it this weekend. (nvm I don't have the energy to do this any time soon lmao) I have too many loose ideas in my head so this is just to pass the time till the brain worms wiggle all in the same direction
So without further ado:
Link to AO3 here : Signal Lost - a John Price x reader fic
----- here's a blurb to pique your interest!
“I don’t think I’ve ever received a document as classified as this one. What am I supposed to do with it, Kate?” he says, dragging his thumb across the pile of papers, each file filled with more ink than the last.
“You asked for proof, there’s your proof,” Laswell says.
“You said you’ll bring someone competent, and who can help us, this doesn’t tell me shit.” He stares blankly at the screen, tired. She stares back.
“The Captain specifically asked to keep this under wraps.”
He rubs at his face, scratching at his beard. It’s getting long again.
“Who is he, anyway?”
“I can’t tell you that.”
He groans again, picking up the file on top. No photo, no name, no age, no height, weight, no nothing . And he thought Simon was secretive.
“What can you tell me?”
“It’s the closest we’ve ever gotten to him. Did things a particular way.”
He shifts through the papers. “And the discharge?”
“Left after the entire team got wiped out. Messy stuff.”
“That why he doesn’t show his face?” He bends forward, grabbing the cigar from the ashtray and bringing it to his lips.
“John.” Her voice carries a heavy warning.
“Just sayin’,” he says, biting around the cigar with one side of the mouth. “What kinda captain doesn’t go down with his men?”
“Got enough guilt as is. You’re lucky I convinced them.”
They both remain silent. They know the missions would be a slippery slope. One wrong move and a war is started. He puffs a cloud of smoke.
“Anything else?” John asks.
Kate looks to the side, her face illuminated by another screen. He can see her hesitate, her lips are pursed in a thin line as if she’s debating her options.
“You’ve worked together before.”
His face lights up. “Finally! Who?”
Her face immediately hardens back up. “Can’t tell, John, my hands are tied.” She sighs. “You were still a Lieutenant.”
Years ago then. He mentally catalogs everyone he’s ever worked with, but he knows that at that age, he was throwing himself at every available mission, wanting to make a name for himself. “So an old fart then? How’s that gonna help us?” If the guy was a Captain when he was still a Lieutenant, and he felt himself grow old, he can’t imagine who Laswell is bringing back from the dead.
Laswell’s face distorts, he knows he’s pushing her buttons, but he has to know.
“Not older than you John.”
His eyebrows raise. “Oh?”
---
or
returning to the military to hunt Makarov is hard enough, to do it with your past lover is even harder.
a "friends to lovers to enemies to friends and back to lovers" story
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Tags and other CW:
will be posted for each chapter containing warnings for more hardcore stuff (i.e., torture and angst namely), but this is a fanfic, with smut, so if you want all the tags feel free to check the ao3 link bc there are a LOT and I am lazy to retype them all here
#cc writes#141#tf 141#call of duty#ghost#soap#gaz#price#john price#price x reader#captain john price x reader#captain john price#reader insert#fanfiction#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#kyle gaz garrick#ghost is kinda a softie in this one#price is a bit of an asshole at the beginning but you'll see i dont wanna spoil anything#reader is badass but has issues lmao thats the only way i can describe it#you can see when my writing style sort of improves so don't compare it to my most recent stuff lmao#anyway enjoy
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the montage of cake ruining shit in ooo by Doing Cat Things… the thing i vaguely half-remember from an adam muto interview abt fionna fucking things up in magical worlds sometimes bc shes coming from an angle of reacting like it’s a Video Game or something…. and simons whole. the way he interacts w absolutely everyone he doesnt feel a need to be “okay” for… I think our main cast might be the Making The Situation Worse gang. theyre here to roll up and ruin everything. cake is magic now but she still has the mind and perspective of a normal cat, fionna doesn’t know how to interact with any of these universes from the perspective of them being unique worlds with real people, and simon just wants to make a fucking beeline to trying to shut his brain off. this is going to go poorly ❤️
#that’s how it kind of looks and that’s what i hope for#i love it when there’s a main cast in a story where Heroes of some kind would be. whod you’d expect as main characters#but you just get like. a bunch of. for lack of a better term. self absorbed assholes#like how in f*rsc*pe#(trying 2 avoid this being in the tag for an unrelated show)#you dont get a story abt these heroic underdogs stopping to help people on their way or anything#(like what youd expect coming from a lot of similar sci fi shows)#u get a story abt this bunch of cunts who couldnt be heroes even if they wanted to#and theyre just focused on their own needs#Anyway. I hope with fionna and cake and simons collective abilities they make things worse for many people#bc itd be funny. toxic friend group arises#basilposting#atposting#fionna and cake spoilers
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Twisting Fairy Tales
Today's edition: Cinderella
Featuring:
Magnus in the role of the non-evil Stepmom
Raphael and Simon in the roles of the non-evil Stepsiblings
Clary in the role of Cinderella
Alec in the role of the crown prince who is so much more interested in the stepfather of the weird girl who keeps talking to the ducks in the royal pond
Jace, the crown prince's first knight who is very much interested in the weird girl and wishes she would step away from the creepy ducks
And Izzy in the role of the younger sister of the crown prince who would really rather talk to the Bane brothers than the princes to foreign kingdoms that hher parents have lined up for her.
#magnus bane#alec lightwood#malec#shadowhunters tv#malec prompt#jace herondale#clary fairchild#izzy lightwood#simon lewis#raphael santiago#lets twist up some fairy tales to make up new stories#Magnus would be a good stepmom#I mean stepdad#he is meant to be a parent and you can't convince me otherwise#crown prince alec#who is totally into the pretty man with three kids who has lost two spouses already#which now that I wrote it like that does sound suspicious but Magnus is innocent I swear#unless one of his spouses was an abusive asshole to the kids then Magnus totally offed him and I stand behind him anyway
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I've decided that in any kind of 'Simon and Daniel are brothers' headcanon I will always insist that Simon is the younger, whether that's younger brother or younger twin. My reason for this is entirely because he reminds me a lot of my younger sister, and when we were kids and my brother and I would get in trouble for misbehaving she was always perfect and she'd point it out. "I didn't say that bad word, mommy", "dad, I wasn't yelling", "I ate all my dinner", and I could absolutely see Simon doing that shit with Markus and the Jericrew. North and Josh are fighting and Simon's sitting there pleasantly like "I wasn't arguing, Markus😌" absolute whore for approval and favour
#Simon I love you you're a bitch#dbh#Dbh Simon#Dbh memes#So many people ignore his asshole tendencies it's so sad#He's so passive aggressive sometimes it's hilarious honestly#Simarkus
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i don't believe in the fandom concept of problematic faves
(all characters should have at least one Problem, i think, for flavor)
but if i did, fiona pitch would have a permanent throne at the very top of my list. i just think she's neato-cheetos.
#on a scale from one to belittling a teenager who was just subjected to weeks of solitary confinement starvation torture#i think that fiona is a 10.5 and should consider prozac#rainbow has a way with multifaceted characters who do things because it's the only thing they know how to do#good things for bad reasons and bad things for good reasons and selfless things for spiteful reasons and vise versa etc#everyone is at least a bit of an asshole about something. even goodboy milk chap boyscout simon killed a bunch of vampires on sight#they were probably up to something shady but the likelihood that they were gonna kill those girls in broad daylight at a crowded renfaire?#probably pretty low. too late to un-kill 'em though. like. those were People. vampires are People. goblins too.#imagine you're a goblin looking to make some serious changes in your society and the only thing you have to do to achieve those goals?#is kill a fifth grader that already hates you and your entire species on principle and would definitely kill you first given the chance#some of those goblins were probably pretty power hungry assholes but i imagine if they have a monarchy they also have tax laws and shit#i couldn't kill a fascist cub-scout for free healthcare but i'm also very anti-murder in general and goblins seem quite pro#i am definitely thinking way too far into this but that's also my One SkillTM#the incredibly similar way that simon and fiona view 'dark' magickal creatures (and what it means about the entire WoM) is an essay itself#its also a LONG essay and i'm too much of a weenie to post in-depth fandom opinions more controversial than 'big teeth Hot'#so the gist of it is 'I JUST THINK THEY'RE ALL NEAT I LIKED THE BOOK A LOT'#del/lat
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dinner in america is such a “take what you want from it and leave the rest” movie for me because i do think it’s very cute and i can buy into some of the wish fulfillment nature of the story but admittedly there are some parts that really don’t work for me, there are some parts that fall a little flat either in terms of the characters or humor, and the pacing is a bit of a challenge tbh. but it’s unbelievable what the human brain can overcome by virtue of simply Just Liking That Guy
#idk i just like that guy#obviously i’m a loser girl enjoyer but i have some qualms about how infantilized patty is throughout the script#it must be said i worry how much of the wish fulfillment thing is about guys wanting to date fairly naive young women who don’t know things#and who are ‘innocent’ and easy to take advantage of etc#but i also think that a LOT of the wish fulfillment thing is being a young woman in the world for the first time#feeling unsure about how you make sense of the world and your place in it#feeling pretty inexperienced wrt intimacy etc#and having someone see you very clearly for who you are and not caring about you figuring your shit out#and just liking you and wanting to be with you and thinking the stuff that makes you a freaky little weirdo is rad af#so like simon’s narrative role ends up being WAY more mpdg than patty’s and that actually saves the movie for me lol#anyway sorryyyyy for turning into a kyle gallner fan blog. frankly predictable behavior from tumblr user ‘devilsskettle’ though tbqh#also this movie is like. if may from may (2002) grew up in a healthy family and found somebody who could match her energy#instead of that asshole poser she gets involved with#so good for her. definitely part of the weird girl cinematic universe#honestly feels like a movie that should’ve come out in 2002 instead of 2020
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I apologize in advance if it's weird, I'm just communicating through a translator 😅 Have you ever wondered whose idea it was to create the Phantom? Who could have come up with such a character? I'm not talking about the company, I'm talking about the developers. Was it one person's idea?
I'm assuming what you mean by Phantom is Ghost, and I don't know bro like I wasn't in the Infinity Ward meeting room man.
#What's going on with this surge of anons asking me who thought of Ghost and Price in the development team#who made Graves the asshole character he is LIKE WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME MAN 😭😭 Like I'm sorry I definitely do not have the answer with me#BUT UUUH usually in a studio#the concept is usually yes from one person's idea#but then they go in the meeting room and talk it out#together with the character developers and designers#call of duty#simon ghost riley
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ppl who neglect their cats and leave them outside will be like "we literally domesticated cats they used to be WILD and UNTAMED and so they should live outside!!!!!!" .....................what do you think domestication is all about like did you forget that before you finished the sentence or
#its like the number one thing i see is like#ohh you cant keep a cat inside because theyre wild and they get bored and they hate it#and its like#im sorry you had a really bored and understimulated and therefore asshole cat as a child#but that doesnt mean all cats are killing themselves over being kept inside#cats through domestication have BECOME indoor animals. who fully rely on humans#yes cats CAN survive outside but not without being an invasive species in most places and shortening their lifespan by 10+ years#they literally need humans to live#if you dont want to have a cat in your house then. do not. get a cat#?#like if youre listing the reasons you keep your cat outside and those include things like#claws. litterbox. meowing. blah blah blah#you are just describing vital aspects to cat ownership. dont get a fucking dog and then throw it out cuz it has fur do you ?#sorry it just makes me so genuinely mad how normalized cat neglect is and the people doing it insist YOU are the bad one for#actually taking care of the animal you got#simon says
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"Who are you?" - Green Lanterns: Rebirth
#“its me.” WILD... the passive aggression..... im actually losing my mind here#“SOMEONE DIE” LIKE- SHSJSHAH#also the i hope it was guy gardner is funny to me. also such a parallel bc barry literally said that EXACT SAME THING when simon met the jl#the parallels are making me crazy.......#also simon saying that abt guy is SO funny to me actually. bc guy is literally one of his best superhero friends. probably number 2 after#b'dg tbh#like simon broke him out of prison they had a little trip together they hung out AGAIN during godhead and then a little more (but as a#group) during edge of oblivion like agduashwh#simon basically told him he should get therapy like twice#he was all like noooooo guy dont be suicidal in godhead and then all noooo dont blame yourself to guy in oblivions edge#(and them ofc kilowog was all like shut up simon guy i hope you DO blame yourself you useless asshole) and somehow that translated to a win#so ig it worked. anyways find it very funny that the second hes not hanging out w guy he badmouths him. like his initiation is complete#hes a real GL now. hes just got to do it in front of the entire corps and then his rookie status will disappear#anyways what was i saying#oh!#simonjess#simon baz#jessica cruz#swishy liveblogs#blah#panelposting
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Oh......Oh, Simon you gigantic idiot.
#zombies run#zombies run spoilers#zombies run s3 spoilers#zombies run s3#zrs3 spoilers#zrs3#I am just...#I am actually crying for this bastard#that scream was heart wrenching#I get it you asshole you think you wouldn't be forgiven#all that freaking guilt#but you're wrong#did you even want to die ???#no. And I refuse to believe him to be dead nope#can't be if Van Bark is alive then Simon is too#tell me Five doesn't breakdown after this I mean come on
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I said I was gonna hate him from the moment that I saw him and look who was right
#fucking asshole#nasty nasty man#I hate this man so much#LIKE BRO HE SAID HE WASNT READY FOR SOMETHING SERIOUS#AND THEN YOU JUST IGNORE HIM#AND THEN YOU BLAME IT ON HIM#Simon I’m so sorry this man doesn’t deserve you#so glad wilmon’s endgame#young royals#simon eriksson#wilmon
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sometimes i forget how the long game goes with being a real fucking princess and you cant date??? you cant even fuck your friends for fun? why because no one wants to say no?? come on you grow up this is stupid ageless nonsense
#LIESEL IS OLDER THAN ME SHES IN HER 30s already#am i even making it to my tranniversary next week? TEN YEARS SINCE I TOLD HER AND TUMBLR#or my birthday? 30 years later entering my 30s alone still???#MARY SIMON SOMEBODY IDC I NEED TO BE STABLE AGAIN#FUCK YOU WITH YOUR CARS WAGES AND SALARIES GET A BETTER JOB ASSHOLE
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I wanna tell my followers and moots to stop me from drawing Homestuck God Tiers for TMA characters but anyone familiar with me knows damn well that's not going to actually dissuade me 💚
#Homestuck#The Magnus Archives#Jon is Seer of Doom obviously#Martin is a Breath aspect player idk what class he'd be yet#probably a Knight tbh but once again I haven't decided#Tim is Prince of Blood#Jonah/Elias is Lord of Doom because he has to be horrifically OP#Peter Lukas is Bard of Heart because he's an Asshole but he decided against keeping the codpiece#Simon Fairchild is Heir of Space#Melanie is Knight of Rage#Georgie is Mage of Hope#Michael is Heir of Rage and Helen is Thief of Mind#no clue who tf the Time player of the session would be either#I could do this for hours#Gerry would be Jon's kernelsprite prototype and loathe every second of it#Gertrude didn't make it into the game in any way because Jonah sabotaged her copy of SBURB and then shot her three times in the chest#Jonah's kernelsprite prototype is his fucking mummified corpse from the panopticon but instead of it being a gross mummy it's just Jonah#but with no legs#so you have a double Jonah situation#which is just gonna clearly be Problems#haven't decided on Daisy or Basira's GT yet but they're certainly something#Basira kills Daisy when she's God Tier and it's clearly a Just death#also Martin absolutely has a trollsona and nobody can tell me otherwise#he designed one for Jon too but Jon is kinda weirded out by the idea
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