#simon deserves to be reminded that he’s safe and that what happened wasn’t his fault
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Hurt/Comfort Alphabet | Simon Riley
A/N: I hope this isn't redundant, because I was trying to be realistic based on his past & the way he interacts with other characters. got this template from @thathcwriter
Warning(s): mentions of Ghost's childhood, insecurities, substance abuse, injury, angst | Word Count: 1.6k
꒦꒷ MAIN MASTERLIST ꒷꒦ GHOST MASTERLIST
⋆ ⚘ 🕊 ˚✧ ₊˚ʚ have a request? | ao3 ver. ❀
A: Alleviate - How do they go about relieving persistent physical pain?
·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ Let’s be honest. He self-medicates with alcohol or cigarettes if it’s a persistent enough injury. Either that, or he’ll just find a way to tune it out—something he’s very skilled at by now.
B: Bedridden - How do they behave when they’re sick?
·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ Sick, but not “injured”? He wouldn’t even let it show. His voice is deep and raspy enough already (LMAO) so if he had a cold, would anyone even notice?
C: Cling - Whose physical touch is considered most welcome in their minds when they are in need? Is there a specific type of touch they respond well to?
·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ Being realistic, Simon probably despises physical touch because of his past. Unless it’s someone he’s known or been serious with for a while, physical touch would be null and void. That being said, playing with his hands, or a kiss on his knuckle would probably make him crumble.
D: Deathbed - How would they react if they realized they may not recover from their injuries?
·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ He’s well acquainted with the prospect of not making it home someday, or sustaining an injury too severe to overcome. He would accept it because he thinks that’s what he deserves :(
▹ He’d fight it as much as he could, and wouldn’t want anyone to see him that way. Conversations would be shorter, coarser, and even more depressive than his usual way of engaging with others.
E: Emergency - What is their gut reaction when someone they care about is hurt?
·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ He jumps to the worst conclusions if he got wind of something happening to you. Too many of his loved ones/colleagues have ended up dead for him not to.
▹ Remember how he reacted when Soap got shot in the arm? Yeah… multiply that by ten and add some fury to the mix.
▹ Especially if it pertained to his work, he’d think it’s his fault (in the case of Civilian S/O). If you were also a soldier, he’d take a more frustrated/protective route, lecturing you on your “carelessness”.
F: Fight - Are there circumstances under which they would not accept treatment or care? If so, what are they?
·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ If it was in the middle of a mission, or minor enough that it felt ridiculous to tend to. If someone on his team/or his S/O was in worse condition, he wouldn’t even let the medic touch him.
G: Ghosts - How has their past shaped the kind of comfort they respond to best?
·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ Being mocked and trained to not show vulnerability is his entire being, and he hates himself more for that. He doesn’t want to brood or miss out on things because of his childhood, but the ghost of his father looms heavy on every decision he makes—like a constant, sinister devil on his shoulder.
▹ He’s felt that way so long that he’s grown used to it, and doesn’t know who he is even when he takes the mask off at the end of the day.
H: Home - What things (objects, sensations, or people) remind them they’re safe after a scary situation?
·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ His colleagues, if anything. Soap being his ride-or-die, and a S/O that knows every reason for why he’s so walled up. If he has a picture of that person tucked away in his wallet, or an object they gave them (bracelet, card, etc.) he’d keep it in his desk drawer for safekeeping.
I: Isolation - How do they soothe themselves when no one is around to soothe them?
·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ Just like the response on “A” —he self-medicates with substances, or boxing in the training room until his fists are raw.
J: Joy - When was the first time they were truly happy after going through something terrible?
·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ For many years, he wasn’t “happy” at all, didn’t even know what that felt like. There were moments where he was distracted enough to not be thinking about his past experiences, but not permanent ignorance.
▹ Seeing his S/O after an injury that forced him on medical leave would be the only exception. He hates being away from work, but the silver lining is getting to be home with that person for (X) amount of recovery time.
K: Kindness - Do they believe they deserve the comfort they receive? Why or why not?
·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ Hell no. Simon doesn’t for a minute think he deserves comfort, even though deep down he’s craved it for so long. Even if the person he’s with told him a thousand times, he would never believe it. He accepts it as more of a service to his S/O, rather than to soothe himself.
L: Levity - What or who helps them take their mind off of the circumstances?
·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ 90% of it is his work because when you’re being shot at, you’re only thinking about not getting shot. The other 10% would be working out, drinking, etc… Not exactly taking his mind off things completely, but enough to do it temporarily.
M: Music - Is there a song that comforts them? Why is it comforting to them?
·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ He only listens to music to fill his ears when he’s stressed, or doing paperwork. For comfort? Nothing he listens to would give that to him, let’s be real.
N: Nostalgia - What things that comforted them as a kid still work today? Does anyone know that?
·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ Much like his adolescent years, his comfort is everyone else’s silence. He doesn’t like being fussed over or poked at. The concept of “comfort” just isn’t something he knows. With the right person, he might find comfort in them—their quirks, their sense of humor, etc.
O: Overworked - Who or what tells them to stop working and take care of themselves?
·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ Price has probably tried, or has to at least once a week.
▹ Something along the lines of: “Get some rest, Simon”—most likely met with a blank stare as he continues working through the night. Simon only rests when he needs to refuel, or something more important happens.
P: Please - Have they ever begged someone to comfort or stay with them? What was that incident like?
·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ Before he met his S/O? Never in a million years. After? Probably only when he’s inebriated and needs someone to be with him, just until the problem passes, or you give your attempt at comforting him.
Q: Questions - Are they eager to talk about what or why they’re hurting? Why or why not?
·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ No - he’d jump off a cliff before he talks about his past with just anyone. It would take years before he tells someone what happened to him. In the back of his mind, he’s expecting the person to laugh at him, or reveal his insecurities :(
R: Relief - How do they react to the realization that they will soon be fully recovered?
·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ He’s practically pacing back and forth until his medical leave is lifted—the medical leave he most likely bickered about placing him on at all.
S: Scared - What would it take for them to admit that they’re scared?
·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ If something serious enough happened, or a near-death experience with either himself or you that gives him a wakeup call. One of the hardest things for him to do would be to admit he’s frightened, especially with how much loss he’s already experienced.
T: Time - How long does it take for them to feel better after an ordeal or illness? Do they tend to lie about how soon they feel better?
·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ As soon as he’s mobile, he’s back to work (if it was something disabling). If not, he’d push his way through it and keep working. Surely, to his S/O’s disapproval, but he feels like he’s damned to constant punishment.
U: Ugly - What part of their recovery process are they ashamed of, if any?
·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ Being reliant on another person physically, if necessary. Injuries come with the job, he knows that, but he would absolutely hate it.
V: Valiant - Has anyone told them they were brave for facing what they did? How would they react if someone did?
·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ Let’s be real—most of us want to reassure him and his bravery, as has Price and Soap a million times (although they’re doing it in more of a “that was badass” kinda way). To be able to go through so much, and still be so resilient is almost unsettling. But brave, nonetheless.
▹ He would brush it off and likely change the subject :((
W: Why? - How did they process what happened to them?
·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ He never fully processes an injury, including physical pain—especially if it’s a stray bullet or knife wound. Unless it was something especially gruesome, he’s got a high pain tolerance.
X: Xenas - Do they see anyone as an inspiration in their recovery? Does their inspiration know about this?
·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ (N/A - I don’t think it fits Simon if I’m being honest).
Y: Yearn - What gesture, person, or thing do they desperately want, but would never actually ask for?
·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ This will probably hurt some feelings… He wants his mother, more than anything he wants his mom. He only got so much time with her, and those years were the worst of his childhood. She’s probably the only person he knows he truly wants, but can’t have.
▹ As I mentioned before, if he was serious about someone he was dating, he might want some comfort, but he would almost never explicitly ask for it.
Z: Zero - What is the best way to comfort them without touching them?
·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ Words of affirmation would be your best bet.
▹ Physical touch is iffy, and he’d only allow it if he truly trusted the person. If you give the man praise, he’d hide his feelings until he was alone, and would probably think about it for the rest of the week—even if it was just an offhand compliment.
#mw2#mw2 fanfic#ghost mw2#simon riley#simon riley headcanons#simon riley angst#call of duty#task force 141
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Forever In Your Arms
“I scraped my knee and now you’re fixing it up and I swear if you don’t stop running your hands over my leg, I will kick you.”
Wattpad Link
Ámbar stormed out of the Jam and Roller. Furious was an understatement for how she was feeling. “No Ámbar, wait,” Simón yelled chasing after her. “For what. So you can tell me it was my fault and that I was the one to blame.” Simon was able to catch up to her and took a hold of her arm so she could stop. She turned around facing him this time and pushed her arm out of his hand. She pursed her lips in anger and barely wanted to see his face.
“Look Ambar I wasn’t trying to accuse you. I was only trying to ask if you were the one who took Luna’s lucky keychain. Sometimes we take things by accident.”
“Oh please Simón you know that’s a lie what you’re saying right now. You did accuse me of stealing it. Nobody just takes things by accident and you automatically assumed I purposely stole it. Look I know I’ve done bad things in the past but I have changed and I thought you saw that too but it turns out I was wrong.”
Simón began to stutter seeing Ámbar’s eyes water. “No no no I don’t doubt for a second you have changed ok. I was only curious that’s all. The keychain wasn’t appearing anywhere and you didn’t say a single word after Luna told us about it.”
Ámbar bit her lip holding back the tears. She didn’t say anything all day but for a reason. A reason she wasn’t comfortable to say yet. “Simón you can’t quickly assume it was me just because I stayed quiet in a conversation. That is a pity excuse and I thought you knew me very well and would have noticed I haven’t said a word all day before that conversation happened. But I was wrong, you don’t know me. All I am to you is some girl you imagine me to be. A vision of the perfect woman but you still linger onto the doubt that I haven’t changed.” Ámbar turns around and leaves clenching the strap of her shoulder back. The tears were slowly coming out now. She didn’t mean to say all of those harsh things to Simón cause she knows he truly does love her but she felt it was best and that he deserved it. He shouldn’t have assumed she would do something like that after she has numerously proved that she has changed for good. Out of all the people in the world, it had to be him who doubted her. When that thought settled in at that moment, the pain couldn’t escape her lungs.
Simón with his head down ambled to the Jam and Roller. There, Luna immediately greeted him. “Simón what happened? I saw you chasing after Ámbar, how did it go?” Simón scratching his head replied, “Horrible. It was the worst. And to be honest I deserved it. What was I thinking to question Ámbar is if she did it? I should’ve trusted her. She changed to become a better person for good and I, the idiot, doubted her. Now I don’t know what to do. She probably doesn’t ever want to see me again.” Luna didn’t know what to say or do other than hug him.
After a two minute silent hug, Luna broke free from his arms and said, “Look it’s going to take Ambar some time to forgive you but I know she will cause she loves you and knows you love her, but you will have to demonstrate that to her these upcoming days.”
“Like how? How can I be able to erase my act of stupidity from existence.”
Luna giggles. “Yes it was very stupid what you did but we’re all human and the important thing is you learned from your mistakes. You won’t be able to erase that moment from existence since that’s not possible but like I said you can truly show her that you are sincerely sorry and really do love her.”
“But the real question is how do I do that?” Simón being frustrated now.
Luna pauses for a second to think. “Well there are many ways you can show your love for Ámbar. You can write her a song, you can surprise her with a gift, or you can hire a mariachi band to sing to her how sorry you are.” Luna then nudged Simon’s arm and he let out a little chuckle.
“Luna, Mariachi bands may have been able to save us many times but I don’t think it can save me this time. Tú Carcel isn’t that powerful either so don’t even think about it.”
Luna then frowned and jokingly said, “Simón, how dare you disrespect our song that way. Ámbar probably wasn’t singing it that day but I can guarantee you, she was singing it in her head.”
“No but I really blew it this time Luna. I doubted her and lost all of her trust after everything we have gone through together.”
Luna froze for a second. She hasn’t seen Simón so disheartening in ages. “Look Simón, what you did was wrong but you can’t give up on love so easily. Plus, we’re all human and bound to make mistakes. Eventually she will understand and forgive you.”
Simón rapidly took his hands out of his face to now cover his mouth in shock. “No no no I’m so stupid!”
“Well you definitely can be at times but I thought we already cleared up that topic since you came back here.”
“No it’s that I forgot to apologize. The whole time I was too busy trying to find excuses that I forgot to tell her I was sorry,” Simón stuttered.
“Then what are you waiting for, do it now!” Luna demanded.
“I can't, it's too late already and I’m in charge of closing up the Jam and Roller today,” Simón whined.
“Well then you’ll do it first thing in the morning.”
~~~~
Ámbar slammed the door shut behind her. Her anger lingered around the air, ever since she entered the mansion, like strong perfume. Everyone in the house noticed the vibe and felt it was best to leave her alone. Well almost everyone. She paraded around her room scrambling for her journal. She had officially decided for a month now to let out her anger in a journal. She felt like this coping mechanism was easier to work with than her mirror sessions. She had a precise plan laid out. She would write down her feelings, rip the page out of her notebook and stick it into the paper shredder. The paper shredder was a better choice than doing it by hand so no one would even be able to tape back the pieces.
Right when she finally found her journal and a pen to use, she heard a knocking at the door. “Who could it possibly be now,” Ámbar agitated wondered. Ambar got up from the covers and annoyingly turned the knob of her door. Her face quickly changed when she saw it was Monica there. “Hi Ámbar. I wanted to tell you goodnight before you went to bed.”
“Was that all you wanted to tell me cause it seems like there’s more.” Ámbar sounded more irritated than what she meant it to be. She sincerely was curious but found it hard to show it.
“Well you appeared upset ever since you came and it made me worried. Since I am a mom, maybe I can help. It’s ok you can talk to me… or not whichever is your choice just know I’ll always be here.”
Ámbar now stared at the floor, contemplating what to say next. The only other person she felt a little more comfortable with when opening up, other than Simon, was surprisingly Luna’s mom. She always wished ever since she was little to have somebody there to talk to and listen to her, no matter how stupid or unimportant the topic may have sounded.
“I guess you can come in.”
Monica slowly took a few steps into Ámbar’s room. At the time Ámbar didn’t realize Monica was carrying something till now. She took out a tray of delicacies from her behind and placed them on the coffee table. There was a cup of milk, a plate of chocolate chip cookies, and a bowl of precisely cut fruit. They were in the shape of little stars. Ámbar couldn’t stop but stare at the food.
“I already ate dinner,” Ámbar coldly stated.
“I know you have but you forgot dessert. I brought you some options so you can pick what you like. I even cut up the fruit into little stars since I know that’s your favorite shape.”
“You do?!!”
“Of course I do. I remember you once said it in a conversation we had at the dinner table.”
Ámbar couldn’t help but get a little teary-eyed. No one has ever put this much effort for her. In fact no one has ever known her favorite shape was a star, not even her best friends Delfi and Jazmin. It’s her favorite ship since it reminds her of the birthmark she has at the side of her stomach. Monica noticed the shiny, watery glare in Ámbar’s eyes. She thought of the best thing to do, and that was to hug her. Ámbar really started crying in her warm, and gentle embrace.
“Shh it’s ok hija. It’s ok. You’re safe with me.”
The hug lasted for a good ten minutes. Once Ámbar cried out all the tears she had held in, she broke free from the hug.
“Thank you…. It’s just me and Simon got in an argument and I know that may sound so stupid cause it’s boy drama but it’s more than that -”
Monica immediately cut Ámbar off and said, “It’s not stupid at all and you don’t have to give me an excuse dear, I completely understand.”
This came as a shock to Ámbar. She wasn’t used to this at all. Whenever she wanted to talk about anything outside of school to Sharon, her Madrina would scold her for wasting her attention on useless topics and people.
“Well it’s just I’m worried that no one will ever believe the fact that I have truly changed. How everyone will probably still see me as the same manipulative mean girl I used to be. I’m tired of gaining everyone’s trust and belief. I really have changed but I don’t know what else to do so they can realize that,” Ámbar now sat down slouching.
“Ámbar you don’t have to prove to anyone that you have changed. You’ve already been showing it for quite a long time now. Don’t beat yourself up so hard for this. For some people it takes longer than others to trust again. Try not to focus your energy on those people. If they can’t see the incredible person I see right in front of me, then it's their loss.”
“You truly think so.”
“I know so.”
~~~~
“Wait, Ámbar slow down,” Simón yells out a mile away from her. Ámbar decided to skate in the morning to the Jam and Roller today. She tried to take the other route to avoid Simón, but he knew that she likes to take this path whenever she’s angry, especially at him.
“Can you please stop following me. I don’t want to talk to you.”
“Ámbar I came to apologize and say I’m sorry.”
This came off as a shock to Ámbar. “You wh-” Thump. Due to her attention being solely focused on Simón, she didn’t realize the big hole on the pavement. Her foot lost control of the wheel and her knee slid on to the pure concrete. Ámbar was on the floor now in pain, clenching on to her knee. It was bleeding and she tried to not show any signs of pain.
Simón came faster than lightning. “ÁMBAR!” He bent down to the floor and examined her knee. He then slid his backpack off of his shoulders and unzipped it. He took out a napkin and hurriedly cleaned off the blood streaming down her lower leg. His touch felt like an electric zap and the way his fingers swept across her leg made her badly want to kick him now. She’s still angry at him but deep down finds him very romantic the way in how he’s stressing out about her. She shook her head out of a daydream, surprisingly feeling like her prince charming coming to the rescue. She doesn’t need a prince even though having one right by her side feels nice. She may be a damsel in distress but can handle this all on her own.
“Look it’s ok. I can fix it just let me be.”
“No you’re not okay Ámbar. I don’t care what else you say, and be mad at me for all that matters but I’m not leaving you alone. I can’t bear to witness you hurt. So go ahead and complain all you want but I’m not leaving.”
Ámbar froze at his response. He untied the plaid shirt around his waist and instead wrapped it around her leg. Before he was able to hear a response from her, he picked her up and carried her bridal style. He skated like the Flash, almost never before. She couldn’t help but stare at Simón’s worry look plastered all over his face. Now the electricity in her is building up into fireworks, her heart has never beaten so fast in her life. She can feel his tense grasp around her waist and legs. This position actually felt comforting for her, as if she can stay in his arms forever.
Right then and there Ámbar realized how it didn’t matter if people didn’t believe her or not on whether she has changed. She has people by her side who truly care about her.
“You know I’m still mad at you.”
“You can be mad at me for an eternity. I deserve it. As long as you're healthy and safe while you scold me, I’ll forever be happy. I truly am sorry by the way. I do trust you and I don’t know why I even doubted you for a second, it was such a dumb decision and I truly regret it,” Simón panted.
“Good. You should regret it. You apologizing and running to help me, not necessarily saving since I don’t need saving, has made me a little less angry at you.”
Simón chuckled. “I love you so much bonita. Never forget that.”
“I love you too, stupid,” Ámbar giggled.
#soy luna#Simbar#soy luna fic week#soy luna ficweek#soy luna fanfic#soy luna wattpad#sl wattpad#soy luna one shot#soy luna simbar fic#soy luna simbar fanfic#soy luna one shots#soy luna forever in your arms#forever in your arms#simbar fanfic#soy luna universe#Ámbar smith#Simón Alvarez
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Simon/Oliver: Broken
CW: triggered whumpee, food trigger, referenced emeto, references to box boy whump, creepy whumper, ptsd, self blaming, self deprecating thoughts, panic attack, conditioning
Masterlist
y'all getting TWO WHOLE FICS TONIGHT
Note: Takes place right before Trust, a crossover between Simon/Oliver and Marcus/Luca
----
Broken
That's the best word Oliver could seem to come up with to describe himself. Even after he was home, he was safe, he was confident Simon wasn’t leaving him, he couldn’t stop himself from cracking and crumbling into a million pieces, unable to let himself surface.
He felt like he was drowning, falling into depths he couldn’t even see, unable to reach out and grasp hold of anything for support. He could barely close his eyes without seeing him, seeing sir.
He felt sick whenever they tried to get him to take the medicine, images burned into his mind of men holding him down and forcing him to take pills, keeping him docile when Cedric wanted to bring him out for some fun. They made him barely cogerient, and by the time they put him back in the dark room he didn’t even remember leaving in the first place. Maybe it was better that way, though. Maybe it was best if he didn’t remember what happened outside that room.
He clung to Simon whenever he could, glued to his side in fear of being pulled away. He never, never wanted to be pulled away like that again. He didn’t even care if Simon hurt him again. As long as he didn’t have to go back.
Simon seemed to accept it, and seemed to be comfortable with Oliver becoming his shadow again after that night they confronted in the hallway. Everyone in the house seemed to come to a silent agreement that they wouldn’t talk about Simon's outburst, or anything spoken that night, and Oliver was completely ok with that.
“Peach or lemon?” Simon asked softly, metal spoon clinking against the mug on the counter.
Oliver stood by his side, a thin finger hooked on Simon's shirt as they stood in the kitchen. It was early, Oliver had woken up with nightmares again. Simon had brought him downstairs as quietly as he could, murmuring reassurances and moving to make him something that would calm him down.
“Lemon.” He replied softly, resting his head against the other's shoulder. Simon hummed in acknowledgment, grabbing the box and rummaging through it for the right kind, and Oliver couldn’t help but notice his hands shaking.
“I’ll take care of it.” Marie offered softly, moving to take the mug from Simons shaking hands. Oliver hadn’t even noticed her in the kitchen, flinching a little at the sudden voice beside them.
Simon didn’t even argue, letting her pry the mug away from him. He was tired too, and they all knew it. Oliver felt guilt twist inside him at the thought, knowing he was the cause.
Simon muttered his thanks, guiding Oliver to sit at the table with him, resting his forehead on his arms crossed on the table. Oliver watched him intently, fingers tapping at his leg nervously. Simon was spending all his time taking care of him, staying up when he couldn’t sleep, there when he woke up yelling. He was always there, and Oliver was starting to wonder if that was a good thing.
He reached a hand out hesitantly, setting it on Simon's arm. He startled a little, blinking as he looked up, worried.
“Sorry- did you need something, Ollie?”
Oliver retracted his hand immediately, face falling. He felt like he was shriveling up, cracked pieces falling from where he’d clumsily tried to put them back together.
“I..no..no sorry, was trying to..nevermind, sorry.”
He was trying to be comforting.
Instead he just bothered Simon more. Maybe it would be best if he just didn’t try at all.
If Simon noticed anything wrong he didn’t mention it, dropping his head back down in his arms. Oliver bit his lip, resolving to leave him alone. He needed the rest and the break from taking care of him.
“Here you go, Oliver.” Marie said kindly, setting the finished mug in front of him. “Make sure you and Simon have something to eat later, I’m going back to bed.” He blinked, looking up at her and forcing a small smile.
“Thanks.” he murmured, picking it up and bringing it to his lips to sip at it as she ruffled his hair, making her way back towards the stairs with a yawn. It was warm, the sweet tanginess of lemon flavor being the first thing to hit him. The second thing to hit him almost made him gag.
Oliver froze, stomach twisting as the taste hit him, disgust and terror seizing him and making him go still.
Honey.
She’d put honey in it.
Simon knew not to put honey in it, he knew- but Simon hadn’t made it. Marie did. Marie didn’t know.
His hands shook slightly as his eyes went blank, breaths coming in quiet, pained gasps.
He wasn’t with sir, he tried reminding himself, failing. He could almost still feel the hand on the back of his neck, sliding across his throat and up to tilt his chin, delicate china forced to his lips. He could feel the hand on his leg, the collar tightened around his throat, the pleased hum right next to his ear.
He wanted nothing more than to hurl the mug across the room, watch it shatter against the wall. He wanted it as far away from him as possible, wanted to disobey, to say no.
He knew he couldn’t, though. He couldn’t force himself to throw the mug even if it was what he wanted most in this god forsaken world. He couldn’t, he couldn’t, unable to even bring it away from his lips or even make a sound, Simon falling asleep next to him, oblivious.
There was only one thing he coulddo in that moment, and that was obey.
So he drank the whole thing.
He drank it silently, tears running down his face as he tried to hold back sobs, using two hands to make sure he didn’t drop the mug as it shook in his hands. He drank the entire fucking thing, and then stumbled to the bathroom to throw it all up.
---
Simon groaned, looking up from where he’d dozed off at the table. How long had he been asleep? It was lighter outside, sunlight illuminating the kitchen through the blinds on the windows.
The first thing he noticed was that Oliver was gone. His brain seemed to be processing everything too slowly, it taking a second to even register that the younger boy wasn’t next to him.
He stood quickly, blinking away the remaining sleep and scanning the room. Oliver’s mug of tea was at the table where he’d been sitting, empty. The kitchen was quiet, no sign of him anywhere. Simon was moving past the counter to check the living room when he spotted the small, plastic container of honey next to the box of tea packets, and his heart sank.
“Ollie?”
He went straight to the bathroom, testing the handle and thankfully finding it unlocked. He gently pushed the door open, being met with exactly what he was expecting. Oliver was hunched over, shaking with sobs as he pressed his forehead against the edge of the bathtub.
He felt guilty as he moved to crouch beside him, setting a hand carefully on his back. He should have been paying attention, he let Marie make the tea without it even crossing his mind to let her know.
Oliver flinched away, curling in on himself at the touch and close to hyperventilating.
“Hey, it's me.” Simon soothed. “I’m so sorry, Oliver. I was tired and got careless-”
“I,I,I’m sorry.” Oliver choked out, surprising Simon. “M,Msorry for waking you up, I, I’m sorry..”
Simon blinked, brow furrowing in confusion. He grabbed a washcloth and wet it in the sink, wiping the sweat from his forehead and setting it around the back of his neck to soothe him.
“Ollie, you didn’t do anything wrong- here, let's get you to the couch.”
Oliver braced himself against the side of the tub and tried to stand but Simon didn’t let him, knowing better than to let him try to walk and end up passing out after working himself up this bad. He picked him up as carefully as he could, the boy light enough to be carried with ease even in Simon’s tired state.
“N,No-” He protested weakly, shaking his head even as his eyes struggled to stay open. “You..you were asleep, didn’t mean to, to wake you up..mfine..”
Simon sighed, holding him close as he walked to the living room. There were two new rescues curled up on the armchair together, sound asleep. Mia and Marie had picked them up over an hour away, something about the police being involved. He couldn’t imagine how, the two looking so young.
“You didn’t wake me up, I did on my own. Didn’t even hear you until I went looking.” Simon reassured. He grabbed a water bottle, sitting down on the couch and offering it to him. “Drink some, you’ll feel better. Promise.”
Oliver took the water without question, shakily opening it and lifting it to his lips, drinking desperately. He looked pale, and Simon didn’t have to think hard about it to guess he’d gotten sick. He finally handed it back once it was half empty, and Simon set it aside.
“Look, if you’re worried about me getting sleep, we can go right back to sleep here.”
He laid down on his back, settling Oliver on top of him as he pulled a large blanket over the both of them. He rubbed circles against his back comfortingly, coaxing him to relax, head resting by his collarbone.
“Just let yourself calm down, ok? You’re right here, you’re safe.”
The last thing Simon needed was Oliver working himself up over him of all things. He didn’t deserve that kind of guilt for being taken care of.
“You deserve to feel safe, Oliver.” He hummed, staring up at the ceiling. “You deserve to be taken care of. You’re not a burden to take care of.”
He wasn’t sure if the words meant anything, but he needed to say them. He needed Oliver to know he wasn’t a burden.
“I’m ok, Oliver. I get tired sometimes, but that's not your fault. None of this is your fault.”
He ran his fingers through Oliver’s hair, feeling tears soaking through his shirt but not commenting on it. He was very, very familiar with the kind of guilt weighing down on you when you felt weak, when you felt like you were just dragging people down. The kind of guilt that made you suffer in silence, a scream for help never being allowed to reach your lips as you try to make yourself as unnoticeable as possible.
Oliver was the last person on earth who deserved that.
Simon pressed a kiss to his dark hair, repeating it over and over.
“You deserve to feel loved,”
After months of darkness and pain and fear, that's all he deserved
“You deserve to feel safe and protected,”
After he failed Oliver again and again and again, Simon owed that to him
“You aren’t bothering me,”
Never. He’d go to the moon and back for him
“I love you so, so much, Ollie, and you deserve every bit of it.”
Every single bit, and he meant it with everything he had
----
Taglist
@insanitywishes @18-toe-beans @castielamigos-whump-side-blog @simplygrimly @cinnamonflavoredhugs @finder-of-rings @deluxewhump @ashintheairlikesnow @briars7 @albino-whumpee @thatsthewhump
#whump#angst#box boy universe#panic attack#conditioning#hurt/comfort#ptsd#food trigger#Marie is trying her best ok#creepy whumper#flashbacks#referenced emeto tw#Simon/Oliver#my oc's#my writing#box boy#I need to get better at tagging
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Thoughts about Renegades
ALRIGHT FOLKS, TAKE A SEAT BC I’M ABOUT TO KICK MYSELF OUT OF THIS FANDOM :’)
Not really
But I’m going to rant for a while so perhaps you can go grab a snack or something :’)
So…I LOVE Renegades and I always will but I’ve been thinking about some of the things that seem…off to me. Not that they’re a big deal ofc (because I love Renegades in a really dumb and blind way) but some of them are quite unpopular opinions among the fandom, so I’m finally going to share them in case someone out there feels the same way X’DDDDD
They’re not in any particular order. Here we go:
- I completely stan the idea of Nova and Oscar and Nova and Callum being brotp material, but I stan Nova and Callum way more, not because I don’t like Nova and Oscar, but because I think it was genuinely good (and healthy) for Nova to have a friend out of Adrian’s circle. I mean, she’s been isolated most of her life now, and when I realized she finally had someone of her own… like, a person she met with whom she connected without Adrian introducing them to her, was a HUGE step. Callum is one of my favorite characters in the whole series, and when the t h i n g happened I was devastated for MYSELF *sobs* but also because MM took him away from Nova. She opened to him more than she ever opened to Oscar throughout the three books. Sorry not sorry :’).
- AS A YOUNG ADULT (I’LL BE 20 IN MAY, YOU GUYS) let me tell you that all these dumbasses act like completely normal teenagers and all their shitty decisions sound like something I would’ve done when I was their age. Actually, the Team Sketch really reminds me of my own circle of friends. I’ve seen you guys complain about Adrian acting extremely dumb for his age but GUYS HE’S FUCKING 17. WHEN I WAS 17 I WAS AS CLUELESS AS HIM. ALL MY FRIENDS WERE. AND IT WAS SO STUPID IT HURT BUT SHIT BE LIKE THAT SOMETIMES. I was the Nova among them. That is: I joined their group hella late and one of the guys became my crush. I was so dumb I told him he was my crush when I was defeated on the floor with a dislocated knee because I was having a breakdown and I legit thought I was D Y I N G. Teenagers.Are.Like.That.
- HOWEVER, EVEN IF I JUST SAID ALL OF THAT….And I want to believe all of you agree with me: I don’t justify Oscar. It’s okay being a dumb teenager, but you can’t just ask your crush to be your girlfriend during a PUBLIC EXECUTION. That wasn’t romantic. At all. If I were Ruby I would’ve been really offended, no joke. (AT LEAST WHEN I TOLD *MY* CRUSH WHILE I THOUGHT MY LEG WAS GOING TO BE AMPUTATED, WE WERE IN CHORUS CLASS. ALL THE GUYS WERE SINGING TO ME BC THEY THOUGHT THAT WOULD CALM ME DOWN. IT WAS A GROSS AND ODDLY SWEET MOMENT, YOU KNOW?).
- I feel like Ruby is…I’m not going to say mistreated, but…Idk. I feel like she’s trying her best and she’s kind to everyone in the group and in some parts of the books they just…forget about her :’). (This may be Marissa’s fault, though). Which makes me really sad, because she’s genuinely sweet and I felt like she was the most welcoming to Nova since the very beginning (Apart from Adrian, of course).
- I’m part of the “Leroy switched sides at some point” squad, but at the same time I believe he’s just very, VERY chaotic neutral and (I’m never giving up on this) since he loved Nova, he would just stick to the side where they promised to keep her safe, even if that meant being jumping back and forth between the Renegades and the Anarchists.
- I ALSO BELIEVE WINSTON MAH BOI SAW A LOT OF HIMSELF IN NOVA. To my particular point of view, his mental state was the most stable when she moved with them. He unconsciously tried to stop her from becoming what he’d become and the Anarchists realized that, so when they found Ace’s little human weapon being threatened, they just teared her away from Winston, which caused his mental health to go downhill again until he ended up all psychotic (which is how we got to meet him during Renegades).
- Honey had way more complicated issues than just being “evil”. Yes. She’s dead. And me defending her won’t make her less dead. And I know she got what she deserved because she was…completely out of control and Marissa tends to kill those who are too far gone (take Levana as an example). But I think that if she hadn’t neglected her own mental health so much she would’ve had a chance; Honey had good in her :’) maybe, before meeting Ace, she was a different person. Like, it’s mentioned she grew up in a small farm. I think she fell in love with him at some point and, by the way he talks to her sometimes, I’m *almost* sure he knew that, so he tried to take advantage of the situation to keep her in line, even though he had no intention to reciprocate her feelings. Sure, Honey is a manipulative brat, but she’s a hundred times worse when she knows Ace is around or when she knows she has a chance to get him back (she goes batshit crazy in the cathedral, you know?). Ace was a power-hungry sociopath/psychopath and she was a depressed, also power-hungry woman who was in love with him. And that’s a BAD combination. Honey Harper was hopeless… and I think she even showed some signs of Stockholm Syndrome.
- Still, Honey and Nova’s relationship reminds me a lot of my relationship with my dad. Theirs was a toxic relationship, but since I’ve been through that (still going through that), I refuse to believe it will be easy for Nova to overcome her death *that* easily. They loved each other in a…violent, weird way, but Honey was Nova’s mother more than Tala ever got the chance to be (because Ace took that opportunity away from her) and if Honey hadn’t been so –like I mentioned before- hopeless, they could’ve fixed their relationship until it was normal and healthy, because Honey showed signs of loving Nova, and Nova showed signs of loving her.
- Every death in Supernova had a very specific narrative purpose but, even if I hate Evander as much as y’all do, I think his death was done for the sake of the shock factor afgshja like, he died in such a sudden, meaningless way :’).
- Tamaya is nothing but wasted potential. You have a savage, feral, badass woman with w i n g s and the only thing she does is getting her fucking face burned and throwing fists with entitled teenagers.
- I LIVE for Simon and Hugh as couple, but (gosh, saying this makes me feel really guilty) the fact that they didn’t share not even ONE kiss throughout the trilogy made me feel really queerbaited :’). Same thing happened with Danna and Narcissa, but I think that was PLAIN half-assed.
-Why doesn’t Adrian has Simon’s last name as well? :’)
- ADRIAN NEEDS THERAPY AS MUCH AS NOVA DOES. LET’S BREAK THIS DOWN, HERE WE GO:
*So, we know that Marissa Meyer’s male characters are always really sweet and kind and wholesome and omg :’)…and then there’s fucking Jacin (whom I love, but that doesn’t minimize the fact he shall burn in hell X’DDDD) . I mean, he’s kind…to Winter and Winter only…and Cress…sometimes. When it comes to Winter, he’s capable of a lot, A LOT of things. He comes off as rude many times (especially to Cinder, during Cress) and…yeah. He looks like he could kill you and he could ACTUALLY kill you; I feel like the fandom moves Adrian to …whatever category Kai’s in….but I’m not sure that’s the case. Let’s analyze Cinder’s equivalent to Nova’s bracelet: Peony’s chip; Kai was mad at Cinder, FUCKING mad. But once he kinda figured out Cinder was grieving his sister and keeping the only thing she had left from her for emotional reasons, he didn’t, under any circumstance, no matter how much he hated Cinder at the moment, want that chip to be taken away from her. Kai had lost his father. He KNEW what it felt like and he didn’t want anyone to feel the same way, because he SAW Cinder suffer her little sister’s death. Adrian had lost his mother and he knew Nova had lost both her mother and her father AND her little sister; she had opened up enough to tell him that bracelet was the only thing she had left from her father…and when he learned Nova was Nightmare, instead of interrogating her, taking a sample of her blood or things like that, he straight took her bracelet. Because Adrian was hurt and he wanted her to be hurt too, so he took away the one thing that mattered the most to her and THAT WASN’T VERY KAI OF HIM IF YOU ASK ME. My point is, sadly: Adrian is ABSOLUTELY traumatized due to his mother’s death (who wouldn’t?) and now that he knows he indirectly killed her he will only get WORSE. He hated Nova for being Nightmare just because he thought she had something to do with Georgia’s death, so when things went to shit, he did her in the dirtiest way he could, making her feel hated and unwanted, which were Nova’s delicate spots afgshja…like, Adrian’s capable of a lot of things(just like Jacin). He NEEDS therapy. Now.
- The heated kiss scene during Archenemies is both heartbreaking and beautiful at the same time (besides…you know, heated). Nova’s so touch-starved she gets overwhelmed when Adrian suddenly gives her all the physical affection she didn’t have during her childhood. And…I feel it was a very intimate moment between both of them, because they were physically and emotionally invested and omg. This only makes my previous point (about the bracelet) more horrible, because I can’t imagine how she must’ve felt when he took away her bracelet with so.much.hatred.
-WE DESERVED TO KNOW THE CHANGES THAT WERE MADE TO THE SYSTEM BC TBH THE RENEGADES SYSTEM WAS SHITTY AF… It’s like…they claimed to be against what the Anarchists did but then suddenly they were doing the same things themselves. And I don’t think that’s fair. The Renegades acted as messed up as the Anarchists during Supernova. They wanted to EXECUTE a MINOR who committed MINOR CRIMES. I mean, what did Nightmare even do? Right, she tried to assassinate Hugh but she FAILED, and she neutralized Team Frostbite in SELF-DEFENSE and in Max’s defense.
- Besides, the way Anarchists were treated was...really inhuman. As far as I understand, they didn’t have access to public services or anything like that. What if they needed meds? Where did they get their food from? Did they have, like, fucking running water? Electricity? There are also three women among them and they get *periods*, people, and *period stuff* is expensive as fuck. Like, did they have to steal tampons? And if they did…were they chased because of it? Even though they had no way to get income in a legal way because they were Anarchists and being out there like normal people was against the rules for them? Lol?
- JESUS THAT SYSTEM REALLY NEEDED TO BE CHANGED LMAO AFGSHJA
-Also, Cragmoor? Wtf.
- AND, LAST BUT NOT LEAST, NOT BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO SAY BUT BECAUSE THIS IS TOO LONG ALREADY: It think Nova and Evie have been apart for too long and it’s going to be hard for them to create a bond. They’ll have to get used to it, because it’s going to be confusing for Nova and, given the fact Evie’s personality is…like that, I think she’ll go as far to blame Nova like “But you were SUPPOSED to look for me.”
I rest my case.
#salty lmao#renegades trilogy#marissa meyer#nova artino#nightmare#adrian everhart#the sentinel#sketch#honey harper#leroy flinn#winston pratt#alec artino#hugh everhart#simon westwood#mostly unpopular opinions
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Justice For My Carl (TWD Fic)
A/N: I wrote this a long while ago, but I’ve been having a lot of shit going on recently, so I felt like publishing it. It sums up my feelings about TWD pretty well (it’s a little more extreme to fit the story, but still). Hope y’all can enjoy it. It’s my first TWD fic in a while (and my first fic in general in a while), and maybe one of my last TWD fics (and last fic for a while). My big story with my 14 year old OC? I have no clue when it’s going to be done. My life has gotten so busy these past few months and I expect it to be just as busy if not busier for the next. Plus, Charlie/NOS4A2 has become more of a main interest to me. I’ll never stop loving Carl or my other fanfics from other stuff, however, including TWD. Please, enjoy.
Justice For My Carl
By: Bunny Louise Grimes
Recently, Negan has been a little upset, and questionably concerned, that I had been going outside in the middle of the cold night, uptop the fire escape of his factory, lost and grieving, but I had reminded him that he too was lost and grieving always carrying around that bat, and that seemed to shut him up, although I did receive a quick backhand slap as punishment for even using her against him and speaking of her that way. I apologized and he forgave, though I could tell he was still ticked. I had told him that me being outside was safe (due to his watchmen being like gargoyles in a church) and that I deserved it. I work hard and do what you ask, I had said. I deserve a reward, don’t I? Isn’t that what you’re all about?
He nodded and said, “Very well then. I suppose. Just don’t do anything stupid. Don’t fall off the edge of it or something.”
“Trust me, I’ve contemplated it,” I said. “After loosing my beloved, I’ve thought about it, but I’ve never came to a desicion. I’m sure you can relate to those feelings, right?”
He held back a deep chuckle and leaned back against the armchair. The sound of leather meeting leather and rubbing against each other filled the dim room. His zippers and belt also made some light metallic noises. The night was already quiet, and perfect for him to catch me uptop his fire escape in the night.
“Ah, kid,” said he, “I didn’t want to kill myself. That’s fuckin’ weak. I wanted to find a purpose. I wanted to find people to lead. I had nothing after my Lucille was gone, but I knew I wasn’t going to fucking kill myself. I’d die if I’d die, so fucking be it. But I wanted to find people to be with and lead. And what do you know? Months later, I found it. So next time you think of jumping off that ledge, think of me, okay?”
I nodded. “Okay,” I replied, appreciating his “kindness.”
“Now run along,” he shooed me away. “Go get some rest or something. I’m gonna go see if my wives are available. If not, my Lucy here is gonna get some good ol’ special time with Negan.”
I wanted to laugh, but I gave a weak smile. Really, laughter was hard anymore. I knew that if my dear was still alive, we would share a laugh over his dirty and eccentric humor, despite him not exactly being an ally.
The next morning, things were fairly normal, the constant hum of life throughout the industrial sanctum, when Simon approached me. Tall and lanky, with a ridiculous mustache, he almost looked like the bad guy of a cartoon or a Tim Burton character to an extent.
“So,” he told me. “You got a visitor.”
“A visitor?” I asked. “What do you mean?”
“Someone from Hilltop,” he explained. “He said he’d like to speak to you.”
“Very well then,” I replied, walking with him. “I will see him.”
The right hand man led me to the room where the inner circle would have their meetings. I would know because Negan allowed me to be there. He would let me run basic errands when requested by his best of the best and knew I barely spoke a word to anyone, especially about what they talked about, even to my friends from long ago. Even to Rick and Michonne, and little Judith, there was nothing to say. To Daryl, who was locked up briefly, and now released to do the most backbreaking things alongside Rick, words were lost.
We entered the room. Negan sat in that comfy chair with wheels with his bat by his side. I looked and saw someone else across from him on the table. His hair was crazy and dark, somewhat curly. His facial hair was dark as well. His skin was tan. His dark brown eyes turned to look at me. He was dressed in greyish tan clothing. He stood up. He was taller than me like my Carl was. His demeanor was soft and gentle.
“Hey,” his quiet voice greeted. “I hope you remember me.”
Remember you? I thought. I looked deep into my broken mind, trying to figure out who he was. So many faces now all a blur to me. The only face that stood out amongst the rest was my love’s.
He cleared his throat. “You... look... the same. Maybe... different.... worse than before... but still... you.”
Like the spark of a flame, a sense of familiarity started to dawn on me. He looks... like...
“I hope you are recovering well from your loss.”
He knows about my loss? Of course he would. Everybody across this whole post apocolypse globe practically knew. I bet people who hadn’t even met us knew about it. It was like the gunshot heard across the world. I was the girl who lost her love, and to all of us, regardless if we had hope or not, we were the people who lost the future.
“I understand, maybe it’s not the best timing?” He tried. “Or maybe... you’re unhappy with me.”
Unhappy with you? Why? I thought. It wasn’t your fault the future is dead. It’s mine. I got him killed. Carl tried saving me. You didn’t have to live with that guilt.
“Go ahead,” Negan urged. “You can say something.”
No words could come out of me. I just stood there, Simon beside me, drinking his tequila, the silence of the room deafening.
“You really don’t remember me?” He asked, surprised. “I expected you to be furious with me, my name and face burned into your mind.”
Name and face? Millions of names and faces were blurred together like in a melting pot and I couldn’t differentiate one from the other. Only one name and face stood out, like a beautiful imperfection on a painting.
He began to wring his hands nervously, clearing his throat again. “Uh... shall I introduce myself once more?”
Did I meet him in the sewer? I thought. Wait... those sewers... damp, disgusting, the low hanging strong stench adding to the weight on my entire body... somebody asking if he could get some meds... who was that? His voice was... that person’s voice...? But why was he there in the first place? We hadn’t met him before coming to Alexandria. We didn’t meet him there, did we? No, that can’t be right. We met him... where?
“We met at the gas station, and then the woods?” He tried again to jog my broken and sluggish memory clouded with grief.
Woods, I thought. Damn woods. So beautiful and peaceful to me before my loss, now a constant reminder of my loss. But... wait...
It hit me.
You were there.
You witnessed my foolishness getting my love killed. He couldn’t save both of us, right?
Wait, no...
I’m right. He couldn’t save both of us.
But... I never hit the ground and got surrounded. I know this because I couldn’t remember feeling the hard ground and seeing living dead faces around me. That was wrong. That was at the prison. Carl had two eyes in that memory. He had one eye for quite a few months now.
I remembered it wrong.
Which meant that I wasn’t foolish and Carl died saving me... you were foolish...
Which meant he died saving you.
You got him killed.
You were the fool who killed the future.
My heart sank. My God...
I remembered it wrong! I was so devestated and heartbroken that I put the blame on myself. I took an old memory and used it against me. I wanted to think of Carl dying with a purpose, not trying to save someone so stupid and pointless, but I thought the opposite was reality.
I blamed myself for no reason.
It wasn’t me, it was him.
My fists clutched in tight balls. I looked into him with fire and fury in my eyes. I began to sweat. I was burning a furious fever.
No forgiveness for you.
You bringing back the truth just awoke a sleeping giant.
I slammed him down against the table in a fit of seething enragement. I loomed over him, irate and heartbroken. Tears and sweat poured from my body onto his goosebumps covered and hair raised skin. He was pissing and shitting himself all at once. Good. This lousy excuse for a human being should be afraid.
“You.... murdered the future!” I screamed. “You killed him! You killed the future of us all! You made me blame myself for weeks! Do you know the pain I’ve felt?! Do you know how we all have no hope and purpose to live?! Why should you get to live when he doesn’t?! I will kill you, you bastard!”
Simon pulled me off of him, but I jumped out of Simon’s arms and slammed myself back on top of the inferior one. His breath rattled as I landed on his chest. I clutched my hands on his neck and began to squeeze the life out of him.
Negan intervened and I felt two leather arms around my stomach area heaving me up. He was surprisingly stronger than Simon was. Or perhaps he just happened to have a better grip on me. I kicked and screamed and fought. No! Negan, you are hindering me from wiping him clean! Don’t you understand?! He needs to die!
I screamed with tears streaming down my face. My face felt hot and red. To an outsider, I looked like a kid having a fit at a toy store and Negan was my father trying to calm me down and get me out of the store. But I wasn’t heartbroken and angry about not getting a toy. I was heartbroken and angry about not getting a chance at having a purpose for carrying on in this world anymore, along with others not. Carl was going to lead us all, and I would be alongside him. But this... thing... killed it all.
“Negan!” I screamed. “Let me kill him! Please! Let me throw him in the fire! Iron his entire body!”
Negan didn’t respond and instead shushed me as he held me close to him. Not facing him, of course. I was squealing and squirming and fighting like a pig about to be thrown into an oven. I glared at the terrified and petrified fool, staring dumbfounded at my fit. He wasn’t guilty at all. He was just... horrified at me.... not his actions.... but wasn’t I a byproduct of his actions?
I was what he made me.
I shouldn’t have let a foolish and useless being get to me this much. But all I needed was to eliminate him. It wouldn’t fix things, but by God, justice must be served!
Negan continued to try to silence me and calm me down when I saw Lucille sitting on the table.
She visits my love. She comforts him and keeps him company. She would understand Carl. She would understand the decision I would make. If the sickness that killed her was the person in front of us, Negan would make the decision I was about to make, so he would understand. But he didn’t think like that in the moment, which was why he was preventing me from grabbing the bat and ending this sad sack of shit.
“You need back up, boss?” Simon asked.
“I got it,” Negan sputtered.
“Let me kill him!” I cried. “Please!”
“Just settle down,” Negan whispered. “It’s okay.”
None of it was okay. The one who killed the future was to get away Scott free... justice must be served.
That’s when I went absolutely apeshit crazy and practically jumped out of Negan’s arms and back into the table. I crawled as fast as I could to the bat. I grabbed her just as Negan grabbed my foot.
“Just one hard swing to his head!” I squealed. “That’s all it takes!”
I got loose and jumped up. I ran over to the scared thing like a battle charge into a war and raised the barbed and beautiful bride above my head.
I could see the fear in his eyes. I could smell his fast flowing blood. I could hear his fast heartbeat. I could taste his sweat. I could feel his trembling and panic against my skin.
“Now die!” I screamed.
I was slammed down on the table by Negan grabbing my leg and making me trip. I nearly lost my teeth as my chin slammed against the table. I cried out in pain. Lucille rolled away from me and Simon grabbed her before she landed on the floor.
“Give her back to me!” I yelled. “Justice must be served!”
Negan pinned me in the same position again and said, “Give her to me.”
Simon obeyed, a little weary. Negan, holding me with one arm tight around me, tight enough that it was hard to breath, took Lucille in his hand and hit her wooden handle against my head.
I immediately went limp and felt heavy. My head hurt. I was seeing stars and spots. No, I thought. I lost. He gets away. I can’t fight anymore.
Tears poured down my cheeks and a weak and pathetic sob escaped my lips.
Negan buried my face in his neck and shushed me again, telling me reassuring and calming things. My fist was weak against the durable leather on his shoulder and went weaker, slipping down his body and dangling like a loose fishing line. I wept weakly into his jacket and neck. I was in pain both physically, mentally, and emotionally.
“Maybe... it was a mistake to come here...” I could hear his voice shake.
“Simon, take this young man back to Hilltop,” Negan ordered.
“Yes sir,” Simon responded.
“Justice will prevail.” I managed to slur amongst my crying and gave him one last hateful look. My voice was muffled by Negan’s leather. Tears ran down my red eyes and puffy cheeks. “Your actions will have consequences. I will see you in Hell.”
Negan continued to shush me and quiet me even after Simon and the sad sack left the room.
“He’s gone now, okay?” He hushed. “You don’t need to freak out anymore.”
Exhausted and weak from my scene, I collapsed onto Negan, weeping until I couldn’t anymore and fell asleep.
When I woke, I must’ve been out for hours, because it was no longer daylight and instead close to dusk. Negan had left some cookies and hot chocolate for me shortly before I woke up, due to the hot chocolate being warm still. I knew that I could remicrowave it if I wanted, so that’s probably why he gave it to me in the first place.
I weakly got up and picked the mug up. I sipped it, every sip calming and dimming my angry thoughts. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he laced everything with sedatives. Heavy sedatives, especially, considering the fact that I went absolutely ballistic on that son of a bitch.
I chuckled, thinking of how amusing it was that he was that terrified of me. Good. I want you to look at me and feel that fear. You should. What was the saying? Tiny but mighty? I was always tiny but mighty. That’s how I survived this world.
After finishing everything, I layed back down and stared up at the ceiling, wishing death upon the little bitch, when my door opened. Negan walked through my door.
“Well, look who’s finally awake,” he smirked.
“Is he dead?” I asked.
“No,” he told me, almost confused at my question.
“He needs to be.”
“And what will that do?” He said. “You can’t change the fact that Carl is dead.”
“But he will not die in vain,” I said.
“Killing him will make his death inexcusable,” Negan told me. “He risked his life for that kid.”
“Nothing excuses my love’s death, especially risking his life for someone as stupid as that,” I growled. “You don’t understand, Negan. He survived everything else, but this was how he died? We have no future. He was the future. You said it yourself. I am not the future. I am no leader. You are right that I cannot summon him, but justice can be delivered.”
Negan sat silent, not knowing what to say.
“Just let me be, please,” I begged him. My head rolled over and I looked him the eye.
Negan got up and left, closing the door behind him. I gazed up at the ceiling more, the dimming and last traces of golden sunlight from the foggy windows spread out against the ceiling and watched as they slowly disappeared and the windows were instead dark.
After about an hour of this, I got up and snuck up to the fire escape. I gazed up at the starry and beautiful night. The cool winds felt amazing on my hot and weak body. I looked up at the sky, lost in my starry world, when I heard a voice come from behind me.
“It’s a beautiful night, isn’t it?”
I turned around and found myself taken aback by seeing him.
“How did you get here?” I demanded.
“I snuck in,” he explained. “Long story short, I managed to sneak into one of their cars and hid around the complex. I needed to talk to you. I needed to find you and speak to you.”
“Even after the fit I threw?”
He nodded.
I laughed. “You really are a fool. You just don’t get it. Come to think of it, nobody seems to get it.”
I turned back to the night and continued to speak to him.
“You killed the future. Have you no guilt?”
“I have guilt, of course. I didn’t know this would happen.”
“Well, it did. And now, you must live with that guilt for the rest of your life. Or rather... maybe you don’t...”
I chuckled darkly to myself, but he seemed too stupid to understand what I was inferring.
“I want to apologize for what I did.”
“Apologizing isn’t enough. I don’t think you understand just how badly you messed up. The whole future is gone. All hope is lost. It is not the grief talking. It is the truth.”
“If you cannot accept my apology, than that is on you.”
I growled and grabbed him by the shoulders. “None of this is on me. All of this is on you. You did this, and you must suffer the consequences. I begged you two not to do those things, and I tried to sacrifice myself for Carl, but I couldn’t because you got in the way. You prevented my chances of saving him by pushing me out of the way when I could’ve saved the future. You didn’t even save Carl when the zombies surrounded him and the undead were on top of him. This proves how weak you are. Who had to kill them? I did and he did. This was your plan. Why didn’t you take it into your hands to save him?”
Silence came from him.
“That’s what I thought,” I whispered, releasing his shoulders and walking towards the ledge again, looking down upon the concrete. God, it never looked as soft as it did in that moment.
“You are awfully close to that ledge,” he pointed out. “You’re not going to kill yourself, are you?”
I chuckled and smiled suddenly. “No. You know what? No. That’s the weak way. I’m not weak like you. I’m not going to do that. I’m not gonna do what Carl had to do. We both will have to die because of you, and I’m not having that happen.”
I turned to him and smiled, circling him slowly and deadly. “Justice will prevail. Your actions will have consequences. I will see you in Hell.”
I backed him against the railing. He shivered and shook as I looked him straight into his fear filled eyes.
“If the strong future doesn’t deserve to live, then a weak being like you shouldn’t. If we shouldn’t have a purpose in carrying on, then you shouldn’t.”
“Please,” he begged. “Don’t do this...”
“I’m sorry, Siddiq,” I told him. “But it’s how it’s gotta be.”
I used all of my might to throw him off of the railing. His screams must’ve died before ever leaving his throat because he didn’t make a noise as he went splat across the concrete.
A rush of relief, satisfaction, and tranquility filled me after the sound of his bones crushing against the concrete entered my hearing.
I chuckled and looked up at the starry sky. “Into this house we’re born, into this world we’re thrown. Like a dog without a bone, an actor out on loan.”
I went down the steps and to where the now dead body lay on his bed of concrete. I dragged him over and crept to the gate of undead, also known as No Man’s Land, unnoticed by the watchmen. I threw him in and the undead’s attention went to his carcass. They began to eat him and I smiled satisfyingly. By morn, they would think him another dead bastard.
I went back inside and went straight back to my dim room. I closed my door quietly, put on “Riders on the Storm” on my record player, ate a Cadbury egg, hugged the Future’s cloth hat and placed it close to my chest near my beating heart that seemed to be slightly revived by my murder. A smile spread across my face again and I nuzzled the hat lovingly.
“Justice for my Carl,” I murmered, falling into the best sleep I’d have in weeks. “Justice for my Carl.”
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Adventure Time-Come Along With Me Recap
The fun will never end it’s adventure time! Spoilers below.
After Sym Bionic Titan wasn’t renewed for a second season, a coworker told me that Adventure Time better turn into something great. Little did he know. Adventure Time came right when we needed it. This is bittersweet for me. My first review for this blog was for the season six episode “Breezy”. It’s still my least favorite episode. And the rest of season 6 didn’t really help matters. But the show bounced back, next season. And was still one of the best on tv to the end.
Due to a series of circumstances involving Aqua Teen Hunger Force, a lightbright, and the city of Boston, Cartoon Network got a new head executive who wanted to move the channel in a new direction. He greenlight a series of reality shows and launched CN Real in 2008 planning to move away from cartoons completely. This move was universally hated by everybody and cost the channel millions. Fast forward to 2010 had Cartoon Network premiering it’s first cartoon since the failure of CN Real. It didn’t just save Cartoon Network it saved cartoons. Cartoons were kind of fading from television. Nick and Disney didn’t have a lot of animated shows at the time. And there was a lot of stuff like Adventure Time at the well... time. It’s hard to image since how cartoons have built off it’s style, but Adventure Time really was a breath of fresh air. If we didn’t have Adventure Time we wouldn’t have had Gravity Falls, Steven Universe and so on and so on. It showed everyone that cartoons could be funny and smart too.
It did have issues. Particularly in season six when the show started to by its own hype. And the gave everyone daddy issues. And I mean everyone. Finn, Marceline, Lemonhope, Jake, Jake’s kids, Jake’s brother, Jake’s grandkids. But they did improve season seven going onward by grounding the lore and the story based on the characters. I think deciding ending the series forced them to address interesting lore points.
Speaking of the ending, let’s talk about the finale. It begins a thousand years in Ooo’s future, seen in Lemonhope and Graybles 1000 +. We join Shermy and Beth, who looks like a decedent of Jake and Ladycorn, as they try to topple a Prize Guard Guardian. They fail but gain the ire of a futuristic banana guard. The duo also find an old metal arm. Finn’s metal arm. The return to their house, which is Marceline's house. The two decide to find the King of Ooo to see if he knows anything about it.
The duo travels up a mountain to the King’s house, who turns out to be BMO with a crown and a sheet tied to his face to mimic a beard. Shermy and Beth look around the room breaking a lot of stuff. BMO asks them to leave but the show him Finn’s arm. BMO remembers his old friend and how he lost his arm at the end.
We go back a thousand years. Finn and Jake see King Man and Betty doing something with the unconscious Maja. The three disappear. They report it to Bubblegum who is planning a defense against Gumbald and his army. Both Finn and Marceline warn Bubblegum about the war. The show is framing them in the right but I disagree. Look, war is bad, I get that. But you gotta defend yourself. This isn’t a cold war equal power kind of deal. Gumbald is gunning for Bubblegum. Ask Neville Chamberlain how well appeasement works.
Bubblegum discovers a spy forcing her to launch the attack now. Gumbald, who knows his spy was caught, knows what she would do launches an attack himself. Before the two forces duke it out Finn throws a potion he got from Nightmare Princess back from that episode set between the island and elementals mini series. Finn, Jake, Gumbald, Fern, and Bubblegum are hit and trapped in a shared dream. Finn tries to get Gumbald and Bubblegum to talk it out but the two fly off to dream fight. So Finn tries to get Fern to listen to him, but that’s not working out for him either. Jake meanwhile, conjuring up his brother, goes looking for something in there shared minds. He finds what he’s looking for. Finn’s vault. Finn tries to explain that he has issues just like Fern but Fern insists that he’s the only one who angsted. Trust me Fern, Finn have angsted plenty, just watch season six.
Jake comes in with the vault and opens it releasing a bunch of bad memories. Fern sees that Finn does suffer and Finn and Jake are transported into Fern’s head. The episode does rush past the bad memories without much thought. But I get they only have so much time for the episode. They find that grass octopus holding Sword Finn. Finn kills the grass ocotpuss and frees his time displaced counterpart.
Meanwhile, Gumbald gets to experience running the candy kingdom while Bubblegum lives turning into a candy person. The two get a better feel for each other.
The five of them meet up at the beach. Fern starts to distagrate but Jake assures him it’s just a dream. They wake; but Fern is still disintegrating. Can I just say I love LSP’s “Oh no, there dead! Oh wait there fine.” It just really cracked me up. Gumbald and Bubblegum go to hug it out but at the last moment he pulls out the candy juice. But Lolly trips him and it spills all over Gumbald turning him back into punchbowl, saving Bubblegum. Guys, I feel so validated.
We cut back to the future and Beth thinks that BMO meant the end of the war, but no BMO meant the end of Ooo. Because as soon Aunt Lolly and Bubblegum makes peace, King Man comes crashing down, telling everyone he donked up. Bad. The chaos demon Golb comes down with an unconscious Maja and Betty in a trance. Somewhere deep in Ice King, Simon flashes back to him and Betty discussing GOLB. Back in the present, GOLB turns a bunch of people into a giant monster. The army Gumbald had recruited flees. Boy they were pointless to bring back. Bubblegum turns to the banana guards. She asks them if the will obey her orders. When the yes, she orders them to run away for their lives. Which they do.
King Man and Finn bring Ice King to Betty hoping he can snap her out of trance. Ice King sings the Fiona song. We never got an answer for that Fiona transmision plot line did we? Betty is not happy but that frees Maja who laugh at her chance of revenge. She is promptly overloaded by GOLB’s power and explodes. GOLB than eats Betty, Ice King, and Finn. Biting off Finn’s robot arm in the process.
The monster goes on a rampage and smashes Bubblegum, sending Marceline into a rage. She knocks back the monster and attend to Bonnie. After the two talk, the girlfriends kiss. Good for them. It was never my ship but it was a huge part of the fandom and they deserve to be canon.
Jake fights the monster, who smashes the tree house and BMO’s face. BMO picks up a smashed tiny Jake and sings ‘Time Adventure’ the last song Rebecca Sugar wrote for the show. While singing the monster couldn’t attack them. Bubblegum realizes that creatures of GOLB are creatures of disharmony. And thus are hurt by harmony. So the cast begins to sing.
Meanwhile, trapped in his stomach, Betty and Simon are reverted to their premagic selves. The crown itself also switches to it’s prewish state. Betty and Simon are finally reunited, only to have to face of death. Finn fruitlessly punches the walls. But the song gets through and opens up GOLB’s stomach. Simon and Finn escape while Betty ops to stay behind to use the wish crown. She wishes for what she always wanted, Simon safe. Betty fuses with GOLB and disappears. The crown falls with a clang. I feel the show was a little harsh towards Betty’s quest to save Simon. It’s not her fault that Magic Man transferred his insanity into her.
Gunther picks up the Ice King’s crown and Jake reminders everyone that Gunther is a powerful space demon. But the crown just turns him into a smaller version of the Ice King head from the Garybales episode. Fern distagrates for real and Finn and Jake planet him were the tree house was.
BKO finishes his story. Beth and Shermy thought it was a story about the end of Ooo. BMO tells them it was. They asked what happened to everyone. BMO says they lived their lives. As the two leave and giant Sweet P can be seen walking in the background. They walk to the giant tree and Sherny pulls the Finn sword at of the top.
We cut back to Finn and Jake at the song hole, who sings the ending theme. We see flashes of everyone. Gunther marries Turtle Princess. LSP is crowned queen of Lumpy Space, Simon tries to find Betty, Marceline and Bubblegum cuddling on the couch, Susan and Frieda are still exploring, and Minerva leading the humans to Ooo.
I am bummed that we didn’t get anything with Finn and Huntress Wizard. I thought they worked as a couple and we spent a good chunk of the series dealing with Finn’s love life and would have liked some resolution to that. Also, why are the candy people in stasis in the future?
I think the final episode could have used another 15 minutes to flesh some stuff out. Other than that it was a great ending. I was a little worried we were gonna get a bad or strange ending, but I was happily wrong. It was bittersweet in some ways but did right by most of the main cast.
3 ½ out of 4
#adventure time#adventure time spoilers#adventure time finale#come along with me#the ultimate adventure#finn and jake#princess bubblegum#Marceline the Vampire Queen#ice king#cartoon network#animation recaps by sean
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your fics are curing my depression and making my crops grow!! i got another jimon prompt for you, for dialogue ideas. cause i ran out of prompts lmao!! jimon 8) “Leave the city and never return.”
whYYYYYYY
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“Leave the city and,” Jace’s voice cracked horribly, “and never return.”
Simon’s world was crashing around him. He wanted to believe this was a nightmare; a horrible tragedy his brain invented to torture him. He wanted to wake up, Jace’s arms wrapped tight around his middle, and turn around to bury himself in Jace’s scent. For Jace to chase away all the awful things that never happened, like he’s done so many nights.
But the cold was biting his cheeks, and he could smell the saltwater from Jace’s tears, and he knew that all of this was heartrendingly real. Even if he desperately didn’t want it to be. The man he loved more than his own heart was telling him to leave and never come back.
“I…no, Jace,” His voice was shaking, lungs twisting into something raw. The winter wind was biting into his bones, and Simon felt like it could blow him away at any moment.
Jace was shaking, and it wasn’t from the cold. He could see in Jace’s eyes that he knew he was losing the one thing he always felt like he didn’t deserve. He swallowed thickly, like there was broken glass in his throat.
“You have to. Don’t you get it, Simon?” He threw his hands wide, gesturing to what remained of his boathouse. Ash and broken wood. “They’ll never stop coming for you and it’s my-” He choked suddenly, the acid in the next words burning before they got out.
And it’s my fault.
It was raining. Simon wished it was raining. But he was crying, hands curling and uncurling because he wanted to reach for Jace, to draw him into his arms and whisper fiercely, We’ll find a way out of this. We always do.
But it was a bitter fantasy. He was reminded of that when Jace roughly scrubbed at his face, trying to wipe away any sign of the feelings. Simon felt like he was scrubbing away everything left between them.
“I got you into this mess. My blood turned you into a Daylighter. You have to leave.” He tried to hide the pain in his voice, tried the drag up the walls Simon had carefully dismantled, piece by piece.
And Simon was suddenly furious.
“They’ll find me wherever I go! It doesn’t matter if I’m in New York!” His tears were ashes, ever present and suffocating.
“You’re safer away from me.” Jace said. Simon could tell he really believed that, and something was breaking here, between them. Simon felt the cracks like they were running down his own soul. If he even still had one.
“That’s bullshit and you know it.” And just like that, his anger was fizzled. He was afraid. He had been afraid since that first night, when Jace materialized in front of him and Clary. He likes to think he knew, even back then; he knew that something was changing, beginning, ending. He had been afraid and excited, but the luster wore off when people started dying and all that was left was the fear, the paranoia. Even with his supernatural strength and speed he was never safe.
Until he was. With Jace.
He liked to think they could take on the world together. He felt invincible whenever Jace sent him that private smile; one that seemed made just for him. Simon and his angel; they could take over the world.
They couldn’t. They couldn’t even stay together without the world tearing them apart.
“Please.” Was all he could say.
Please don’t send me away.
Please don’t let me go.
Please don’t take away the only thing that makes me feel alive.
But Jace was something determined and tragic. “I love you, and I only put you in danger.”
He took a step back, like he had to distance himself before his did something he would regret.
“Don’t” It was a broken whisper, but Simon had to try. He was gripping desperately at the edge of a cliff he had already fallen off of.
“If you come back, we’ll know. And I’ll drive you out again.” The tears on Jace’s face looked like cracked moonlight as he turned, walking into the unforgiving night. He didn’t look back, but Simon was sure he could hear when he fell to his knees.
He couldn’t help but wonder, as tiny snowflakes brushed his cheeks, if Jace regretted him.
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im not crying you’re crying
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too late to make a sound
Summary: If Betty doesn't tell Jughead the truth soon, Archie might accidentally tell her the truth about how he feels. Set during 2x06.
Archie wakes with a start, sweating, his heart pounding. He doesn’t remember what he’d been dreaming about, only that it hadn’t ended well. He immediately reaches for his phone and opens his conversation with Betty as if it’s second nature. She’s often the first thing on his mind lately.
He can’t help but be worried about her, with this whole black hood thing plaguing her. And he’s the only one who really knows what’s going on. She’s had to cut ties with Veronica and Jughead, her sister is out of town, and it’s not like she could ever tell her mother the truth. So he’s really all she’s got right now. It has crossed his mind to question why the black hood hasn’t forced Betty to cut ties with him as well. There’s some sick part of him that’s proud that he’s the only one she’s allowed to keep. And besides, he figures it’s pointless trying to get inside the head of someone whose face he hasn’t even seen. The best he can do is be there for Betty.
Archie gets up and goes to the window, slipping his fingers between the curtain to pull it aside slightly. Glancing through the gap he can see Betty’s own curtains are still closed and he quickly taps out a message to her.
Hey, you up?
Betty’s reply is almost instantaneous.
Meet you out the front of your place in 5.
Archie presses the lock button on his phone and throws on the first items of clothing he can find, running a hand through his hair to make sure it’s slightly presentable, before pulling on his shoes and running downstairs and to the front door.
His dad calls something to him as he passes, but Archie misses the exact words. He presumes his dad wants to know where he’s going.
“Meeting Betty!” Archie calls back as he heads outside. Betty isn’t there yet, but he spots her walking down the street towards him, her blonde hair and pale pink shirt hard to miss. He feels an instant sense of relief when he sees her, and he exhales, his shoulders dropping. Perhaps whatever the dream he had was affected him more than he’d originally thought.
Amidst his relief, there’s something else, a sort of tug in his stomach that seemed to be a recent development whenever he sees Betty, or thinks about her. A feeling he’s been trying very hard not to acknowledge because it would make things very inconvenient. Although lately, conspicuously since her break up with Jughead, he’s been squashing the feeling less and less. Feelings are harmless, right? And anyway, he’s not even sure he knows what the feelings are. It’s probably nothing. His concern for her bringing out some human response that feels a lot like… well, something else.
Archie makes his way towards Betty as she draws closer, meeting her in the middle.
“Everything okay?” she asks him. She looks exhausted, and stressed. He wishes there was something he could do to fix everything, to make her feel better.
“I should be the one asking you that.”
Betty shrugs, and glances at her phone. Archie stiffens, reading into her gesture.
“The black hood?” he questions. Betty nods reluctantly. “What happened?”
Betty sighs.
“Walk me to Pop’s?”
Archie nods and he falls into step beside her as they walk in the direction of Pop’s. He stays silent, waiting for Betty to give him the whole story.
“He called me last night, and he threatened Polly,” Betty starts. Archie opens his mouth to say something angry and supportive, but Betty cuts him off, sensing his thoughts. “It’s fine, just let me finish.”
Archie nods, keeping his silence.
“He told me to give him another name, or he’d kill Polly.” Betty pauses. “I refused at first, but he was so persistent.”
It’s an effort for Archie to hold his tongue.
“I told him Nick St Clair,” Betty says. Before Archie can decide how he feels about that, (on the one hand, Nick is awful and the world wouldn’t miss him, on the other, Betty could never live with herself if she had someone’s death on her hands, even someone as grotesque as Nick St Clair), Betty hurries on. “He’s not dead. I checked. The black hood called me before and told me giving him the name was enough. Apparently it shows my true nature.” She scoffs, but Archie can tell it bothers her.
“I know your true nature, and that’s not it,” he assures her. “You’re a good person, Betty.”
“I know,” Betty says, but he’s still glad he said it. “I know that now. I needed to clear my head, and I did. And I realised that this is just a sick game to him. Psychological torture. So… I’m done. With the black hood, with his letters, his Simon says.”
“So what happens when he calls you again?”
“I won’t answer,” she says vehemently, and Archie almost believes her. “I can’t… keep playing. I can’t.”
“Didn’t he threaten Polly?” Archie reminds her of the fact, as if she hadn’t just told him a minute ago.
“He did, and I talked to her. The people at the farm are gonna help her disappear for a while, just until it’s safe again.”
“Whenever that is,” Archie scoffs as the two of them approach Pop’s. “What about Jughead, and Ronnie? We have to tell them the truth.”
“And we will,” Betty promises. Archie’s not sure she realises how much the two of them need to know, not just for their sake, but for Betty’s own sanity. And for his own piece of mind too. Whenever he thinks about Jughead he feels a wave of guilt wash over him. He feels like it’s partly his fault the two of them aren’t together. Plus there’s the whole confusing feelings about Betty thing. But Jughead and Betty are going to get back together, this he knows. And besides, he has Veronica, whom he’s very happy with.
“I’ll tell them. Let’s just… you know, let things settle first. Make sure it’s all over.”
As she speaks, Archie notices Jughead through the window of Pop’s, sitting across a table from some girl from his new school, Toni or something. Archie stops in his tracks, grabbing Betty’s arm automatically, and she trails off, following his line of vision.
Jughead’s laughing with Toni, and it’s not like laughing is against the law or anything, but he’s not exactly looking heartbroken over his break up with Betty, and Archie’s no expert on body language, but it kind of looks like flirting. Maybe Pop’s wasn’t the greatest idea. It’s probably a totally innocent breakfast, but either way, Betty doesn’t need the heartache of seeing Jughead at all right now.
Archie glances at Betty, gauging her reaction. Is she worried about Toni? He’s pretty sure Jughead would never do anything to hurt Betty, but then again, technically they’re broken up, and the things he said to Jug on Betty’s behalf were pretty brutal. Still, if it were him, he’d at least have the decency to wait a few weeks before moving on. Betty deserves some respect.
He’d like to say something comforting, but before he gets the chance his phone is ringing, and Betty’s along with it, and it’s their parents demanding they come home right away.
“This can’t be good,” Betty mutters as she ends the call with Alice. Archie couldn’t agree more.
The “intervention” or whatever it is their parents are trying to pull is a complete waste of time. All it does is put Jughead in danger, and even though Archie gets to him in time to rescue him from the raid of Southside High, Jug isn’t exactly happy to see him, not that Archie can blame him. To top it off, Archie has this irrational annoyance at Veronica for the things she’d said about Betty earlier. He should understand, after all, what Betty said to Ronnie was pretty mean, and Veronica has always been proud. But does his girlfriend really think she can trash talk his best friend to his face? Not going to happen. He’s glad he has bigger problems to deal with to distract him. And once Betty finally reveals the truth everything can go back to normal.
There are a lot of things Archie wants to say to Jughead. He wants to tell him to stop being such an idiot and quit hanging out with the Serpents. He wants to interrogate him about Toni, let him know what an idiot he’d be to jeopardize things with Betty. And of course, he wants to tell him about everything going on with Betty and the black hood. But that’s Betty’s to tell not his. And Jughead is mad enough without him bringing up either of the other things.
He listens to Jughead’s rant patiently, knowing Jughead needs to get it out of his system before he’ll listen to reason. Archie suggests going to Mayor McCoy, telling her the Serpents aren’t the problem.
“Mayor McCoy?” Jughead says, and Archie can sense the venomous sarcasm. “The same McCoy that just arrested all my friends for no reason?”
“What do you care anyway, man?” Jughead says flippantly. “I thought you and Betty wanted nothing to do with me. Right?”
“Look, I’m sorry about what happened. And how it happened. And as for Betty, you should maybe talk to her.”
He needs Betty and Jughead to talk this out. Because the longer they’re broken up, the more he finds himself thinking about Betty, and not always in ways that people should think about their best friends.
Guilt pools in Archie’s stomach and as he takes in Jughead’s stony face, he’s hit with a similar image of Jughead from his dream last night. He almost says, hey, I think you were in my dream last night, but before he can blurt it out, Jughead is racing out the door.
As the rest of the dream comes back to him, Archie can only be relieved that he saved himself the torture of having to explain why Jughead was in his dream last night. He closes his eyes as he now recalls, in vivid detail, being in a darkened room with Betty, a gun pointed at them by a man in a black hood.
Confess, or I’ll shoot both of you, the black hood had shouted. Dream Archie had no idea what he was supposed to be confessing.
Betty, his dream-self said, urgently, before we die, I need you to know that I love you okay?
I know.
He kissed her, to make sure she really got it, expecting the black hood to fire any second. Nothing came. He turned to see the black hood pull his mask off, revealing his identity. Jughead.
His eyes screamed, how could you?
But what he said out loud was, I knew it. He pulled the trigger and that’s when Archie had woken up.
Archie opens his eyes, still reeling from the memory of the dream. Dreams don’t really mean anything, he knows that. But he’s suddenly certain of something, and the knowledge makes him practically groan out loud.
Of all the people he could go and fall in love with, it had to be Betty Cooper, didn’t it?
Archie tells himself he’ll just have to get over it. For one thing, he has a girlfriend, who happens to be Betty’s best friend. For another, Jughead is his best friend and even if Betty and Jughead aren’t together right now, they’re still in love. Telling Betty how he feels is not an option. He had his chance to be with Betty and he missed it, and now Jughead gets to be the lucky one.
But no matter how hard he tries, there’s this evil little voice in his head, whispering, Jughead doesn’t deserve her. You and Betty were meant for each other.
Archie does his best to ignore it.
But Fred says, “Kinda like that when I was trying to help FP. I don’t know what it is. Never ending battle with those two. Just hope with Jug it’s not a losing one,” and Archie hears, Jughead is a lost cause, he’s just like his dad. He’s not right for Betty.
The voice is wrong, Archie knows it’s wrong. The whole thing is wrong. But he looks at Jughead and he sees FP, and even the rational side of him can see history repeating itself. And it’s not that FP is the worst guy in the world. But he was in a gang, he was a pretty shitty father and now he’s in jail.
And Jughead joined the Serpents so easily. And he agrees to an illegal street race so easily. It’s like he doesn’t even think about the consequences. Jughead is supposed to be the smart one. But this drag race could end badly. If he doesn’t die in the process, there is every likelihood he’ll get arrested and thrown in jail, just like his dad. If that’s Jughead’s path, Archie knows there is absolutely nothing he can do to stop it. But he just might be able to keep Betty from going down with him.
And if he keeps thinking like that he’s going to do something stupid, like tell Betty how he feels and ruin basically every single one of his relationships.
They aren’t even together, the voice in his head says. You and Veronica aren’t in love, what does it matter?
Archie looks over at Betty as he picks up trash for their community service. She shouldn’t even have to be here as far as Archie is concerned.
Tell her, tell her, tell her, the voice says.
“Betty, you have to talk to Jughead,” Archie says. His chest aches and he can’t seem to dislodge whatever it is that’s stuck in his throat. He’s afraid that if she doesn’t come clean to Jughead soon, he’s going to come clean to her.
“Soon, I promise,” Betty says, “I just need to take care of a few things.”
Betty turns away, back to the task, but Archie’s eyes linger, his feelings bubbling to the surface, threatening to overflow. He’s sure it’s only Veronica’s overwhelming presence that stops him this time, and he swallows, getting back to work. This isn’t exactly the place for a declaration of love anyway.
Guilt gnaws at Archie constantly. When he’s not feeling guilty about having feelings for his best friend’s (ex) girlfriend, he’s feeling guilty about not having feelings for his own girlfriend.
And when he’s not feeling guilty about either of those things, he’s feeling guilty about calling Sheriff Keller and telling him about the street race. At least his motives for that one are pure. If the Ghoulies are in jail, maybe Jughead won’t make any more stupid decisions, and he and Betty can get back together and Archie can put this whole thing behind him. See? He’s a good friend after all. At least, that’s what he tells himself.
Veronica stays over the night before the drag race. He tells her he’s too tired for sex, but then he spends most of the night awake anyway. He should break up with her. He’s in love with someone else.
Someone you can’t have, he reminds himself. What’s the point in breaking up with a girl he likes if he can’t even be with the girl he really wants? He might fall in love with Veronica one day. There is every possibility it could happen.
Only, it hasn’t yet. And that’s not enough for him right now. And though Archie had tried to strengthen his resolve that morning, the blows that follow only serve to make it crumble.
His thoughts sliding to Betty as Veronica kisses him. Jughead’s look of pure glee as he presses the accelerator to the floor. Jughead’s lack of concern for his own life, and Archie’s. Jughead’s rage when he finds out Archie called the cops. That look Betty gives him that grips his heart and squeezes tightly.
It all only serves to make him want Betty more, and worst of all, make him believe he has any right to want her.
Archie goes to bed early to wallow, turning down the offer from Veronica and Betty to go to Pop’s. He can’t deal with that right now. He lies in bed, dreaming up scenarios where everything is fixed, and everyone gets to be happy, including him. Especially him.
Betty calls him a little after ten, and his stomach swoops when he sees her name on his phone screen.
“Betty,” he answers.
“I found the Sugarman,” she tells him immediately. Archie sits bolt upright.
“You did? Who is it?”
“I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow. I’m going to call Sheriff Keller in the morning and I’m writing something for the Blue and Gold that’s probably going to take me a few hours,” she says. “I just wanted you to know.”
“Okay,” Archie swallows.
“Night, Arch,” Betty says. She sounds triumphant. Better than she has in days. Archie wants to drink that in.
“Betty?” he says hesitantly.
“Yeah, Arch?”
“Never mind. I’ll see you at school tomorrow.”
He hangs up the phone, his gut churning with a mixture of anticipation and anxiety. Tomorrow. He’s definitely going to tell her tomorrow.
Except she doesn’t show up to school the next morning, and his disappointment is overwhelming. He doesn’t have the nerve to ask Veronica or Kevin if either of them knows where she is, but he keeps looking around, hoping she’ll show up.
He needs to do it now, today, before it’s too late.
He walks out of first period to see her waiting in the hallway, beaming. He can’t help but smile back at her, though his heart is beating a million miles a minute.
“Betty,” he says, and it’s like he can’t get enough of saying her name.
“Hey, Arch,” she grins. He just stares at her for a moment, as other students stream around and between them.
“Have you got a minute?” he finally says. He’s going to tell her now. Just not here, in a crowded hallway.
“Sure,” Betty says. He’s about to take her hand, lead her somewhere else. But then, “But first I have to tell you something. You’ll be happy to know I finally told Jughead everything.”
“You did?” Archie’s stomach drops. He tries to keep his face impassive.
“Yep! And he understands. Everything is good between us again!” she says happily.
“So you’re back together?” Archie verifies. Betty nods. Archie forces himself to mirror her smile. “That’s great, Betty,” he lies.
“I know. So what did you want to talk to me about?”
“Oh, uh… just wanted to know all about what happened with the black hood and the Sugarman,” Archie supplies.
“Oh, have I got a story for you,” Betty laughs, and the sound fills the air and works its way into his lungs, into his heart.
It’s better this way, he tells himself. It’s really a blessing in disguise. What did he think would happen? He’d confess his love for Betty and she’d suddenly just stop being in love with Jughead? Jug and Veronica would just give them their blessing and they’d get to live happily ever after?
It was always an impossibility.
Well, not always. But now it always will be, and he only has himself to blame for letting her get away.
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No tengo miedo de apostarte, perderte si me da pavor.
Well, this is the last chapter, this is one of the largest things I’ve wrote and I hope you enjoyed as much as I enjoyed writing it :) Thanks to everybody that took the time to read this and I hope you like :)
Simon and Luna are stepbrothers and just arrived from Mexico to Argentina, they inmediatly friend Nina, but the power trio of the school gets really interested in this new squad.
Chapter | 12 | 11 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 1 |
He was certainly unsure of what he was about to do, but one thing he was sure is that people deserves second chances. When he decided to be away from Ambar it was because he thought she didn’t like him, and would be easy to forget her that way, but he never thought it could be so awful to be away from her, and neither he did that she would be feeling bad for it too, so there was not a good reason to stay away from her if that was causing suffering for both of them.
He arrived to a big manor and looked on his phone to make sure that was actually the adress that Matteo sent him, and then rang the bell, just second laters it openen showing a mid age lady with a maid uniform there.
-Good afternoon, can I help you? -She asked scanning Simon from head to toe
-Good afternoon, is Ambar around? -Simon asked with a big smile, trying to look as friendly as he could
-Miss Smith is sick and can’t attend visitors at the moment, but I can tell her you came by -She answered nicely, but Simon knew she was just saying what she was told to do
-Yes, I know, that is why I came, please tell her Simon is here, if she still says she doesn’t want to see anybody I’ll leave, but please... -Simon asked putting his hands as a begging, and just hoped his charming would appeal for him with the lady
-Okay, wait in the living please, I’ll tell her and be right back young man -The lady said with a smile and Simon almost jumped in his place for the excitement and entered the manor, he was dazzled by all the fancy things there, big chandeliers hanging from the high roof and a lot of vases and paintings that seemed way to expensive, so he decided to not touch anything because the fear of breaking something, if Luna was there he was sure she would already made some kind of mess, he was amused with the thought until he heard someone going down the stairs and before he could do or say something he felt a little pair of hands agains his chest hitting him.
-You liar... You told me that I could count on you -Ambar was shouting mad while she kept hitting him softly -You said you will run to me if I need you, but you left, you left when I needed you the most
-Hey, hey HEY! -He exclaimed a little louder taking her hands, but for Ambar’s surprise he wasn’t mad, he was laughing -Shouldn’t be me the one mad here? -He asked amused and Ambar swear that she never missed nothing as she has been missing that stupid smile on his face
-No, beacuse I didn’t break any promise -She said taking a step back and trying to control her early rage attack
-You broke my heart though -Simon said to cut the tension a little but regret it the second he saw Ambar’s expresion, her eyes were filled with tears and shown regret, he could saw how there were bags down her eyes, and he thought Ambar was unable to have them, she looked flawless always, but now she was looking miserable and Simon felt a hole in his heart for that
-I’m... I’m so... I’m sorry, when... I did... when I did the bet... I didn’t -Ambar was trying to say but she kept sobbing after every word -I didn’t know you, and didn’t feel anything for you...or... or at least that is what I told to myself -She said and sniffed against the sleeve of her robe and that’s when Simon couldn’t hold it anymore and walked towards her and wrapped her tight in his arms.
Ambar never felt like she belonged to a place before, but since the first moment Simon hugged her in the rink, she knew that it was her place in the world, with him, and once again she let go herself with him, she started crying because the thought of she hurting the only person that has shown real concern for her and because the fear of losing him was still palpable in her
-Will you forgive me? -She asked with her face still sunken in his chest and felt how he let a little giggle out at her question
-Do you think I would be here if I haven’t forgave you already? -He said with an amused smile on her face and Ambar couldn’t help but let a little giggle out and lifted her face to look Simon in the eyes, he inmediatly got lost, how much he missed that deep blue eyes that make him feel like home, he needed her, no matter what she did in the past, their feelings about eachother changed, and they both needed another chance to be in the place they both belonged. Simon pushed his face to Ambar’s, allowing that their foreheads and noses touch, enjoying the moment, enjoying eachother’s presence.
-I swear to god that if you don’t kiss me this time I will kick your ass -Ambar said smiling but Simon knew she was talking very serious
-If I let go another chance to kiss you please kick my ass -He said and then joined his lips to hers.
From the second he saw Ambar he knew she was on top that others girls, just saw her and she made him feel like and earthquake was happening, so when he kissed her he felt like the earth was collading to another planet, if he had to choose one thing to do for the rest of his life he would say kiss Ambar without a doubt. Ambar has kissed guys before of course but she never felt anything doing it, at the most she felt awkward, but when she kissed Simon she finally understood what girls in romantic movies said after kissing the person they love, she felt the need for more, she felt safe and loved and that was the feeling she was looking for since she has memory and she swear to herself that she would do anything to have Simon around her life for as long as she could.
Skating always was his way out of all problems, it made him let the stress out of his mind, but since a couple of days ago it wasn’t working that well, actually, it wasn’t working at all, he spend more time on the ground that actually skating, his mind was somewhere else but there, or with someone else better said, when he tried to do a simple spin he fell again.
-Wow, the king of the rink fell, that is not a thing you see everyday -Gastón said amused entering to the rink
-Ha ha, funny as always bro -Matteo said standing on his feet and skating towards him -What are you doing? -He greeted him with a hug
-I was looking for you, I have a date with Nina tonight and I wanted to ask one of your vests for it
-Sure,so that means you are Nina are back together again? -Matteo asked with a big smile on his face
-Yes, I talked to her yesterday and we talked about the whole mess and we came clean with each other -Gaston said excited and Matteo couldn’t felt happier for his friend, and also felt a little relieved because it was part of his fault that they were figthing from the begginig
-Oh that is great bro, let me take my skates off and we’ll go to my house so you can choose whichever vest you want
-Sure, I’ll wait you in the cafeteria because I am a little hungry -Gaston said placing a hand on his stomach
-When aren’t you? -Matteo mocked and went together to out of the rink, and at the entrance they were shocked of what they were seeing, a smily Ambar holding hands with Simon
-Oh my god, you are out of your bed -Matteo exclaimed surprised
-And you showered and brushed your teeth I hope-Gastón exclaimed too and Ambar hitted him softly in one arm
-You idiot, yes I am out of bed because I am going to have something to drink with my cute boyfriend -She said smiling like they have never seen her before while she tangled herself in Simon’s arm, he was just looking at her with pure adoration
-Oh that sounds so good, Ambar Smith is my girlfriend, can you believe it? -Simon said looking smitten at her
-Trust me, I don’t -Gastón said with his eyes wide open while Matteo shook his head, because it was true, seeing Ambar happy dating a guy from the school, a guy that is nice and kind with everyone, just the opposite of her, was something he would never saw coming, never before Simon.
-So I can guess you two are good now? -Matteo asked happy for Ambar, even if they were so different they kind of made sense, Simon bring out the nicest part of Ambar and he couldn’t ask for anything but happiness to her
-More that good -Ambar answered still holding him close to her, and he realized he will have to bear a lot of PDA from them
-I am so happy for you guys, really congratulations -Matteo said giving them a hug
-Yes, congratulations, because Ambar not showering was starting to get very hard to endure -Gastón said and covered himself knowing that she would try to hit him again, but all laughed
-Thank you guys, and I heard that you and Nina are good too now -Simon said excited -We could go on double dates
-Yeah, I am not sure about that -Ambar said making a fake disgusted face -I don’t think I can endure your lame jokes
-Well, I don’t think I can endure your lame sense of humor -Gastón said and they both stared to mimicking eachother like two years old, and Simon seemed like having the time of his life seeing them
-Hey, I am going to take my skates off, wait in the cafeteria for me -Matteo said and headed to the lockers before getting any answer for them.
Matteo was happy for his friends, of course he was, but seeing them that happy remind him what he could have and lost, and couldn’t help but felt guilty because that was all his fault, he should never made that bet, he should never changed who he was just because people hurt him in the past, because he became the same as that kind of people and that was consuming him, so before he could even realized he hitted the wall with his fist and could heard a little surprising sigh behind him
-Luna? -He managed to say shocked, she was standing there looking at him with her eyes wide open
-Oh my god, Matteo your hand -She exclaimed and Matteo looked down at it and saw a little bit of blood coming out of it, Luna rushed to a table where Tamara kept a little emergency kit and sat in the bench -Come sit down, we need to clean that -Matteo did as she said and sat down next to her, she started to clean the wound softly
-You don’t have to... -Matteo was saying but she interrupted him
-Shh, and stay still or it will hurt -She said and he just nodded as answer, when she finish cleaning the blood and started to put the bandage in it she let a little giggle out
-What? What was it? -Matteo asked curious
-You know, for being a fresa, you bruise like a peach -She said letting a loud laugh out talking about his black eye and his hand
-Oh my god, that was so bad -Matteo said laughing and covering his face with his free hand -You are spending too much time with Gaston
-It wasn’t that bad, you laughed -Luna pointed out trying to defend her joke
-I laughed of how lame it was -he said and they both laughed for a couple of seconds more
-There you are, hope you don’t hit another wall or no one hit you anytime soon -She said trying to sound as casual as possible
-I’ll try my best -He answered him smiling
-It’s must be hard thought, your face provoke a feeling on people that really makes you want to punch you -She said teased him
-I know, being this handsome is hard to handle -He answered back gettin close and he inmediatly regret it when she froze on her place making him sitting straight again in that second
-Why? -Was the only thing Luna asked in a low tone, and Matteo knew what she was talking about inmediatly
-I... I don’t know... Luna I am so sorry for letting that stupid thing goes that far, because in the begginig it was a game, I can’t deny that, but when I met you It became something more, because you are something more -He said reaching for her hand slowly and when he saw she wasn’t taking it away he took her and caress her with his tomb -I just want another chance to show you that what I feel for you is real
-I know, Nina and Gastón told me, and Simon also did, and I think Ambar treath me if I didn’t talk to you, I am not sure, she was smiling too much and that freaked me out
-Yes, she is happy -Matteo said smiling at the thought of Ambar, he couldn’t remember a time that he saw her that happy before and he was very glad for her
-But... Matteo you broke my trust, you are the first person I’ve liked this way, and the first guy I’ve ever kissed, and I just can’t stop thinking that you are still playing with my feelings -Luna was saying while tears were starting to fill her eyes and Matteo cursed himself for causing that
-I know, and I would do anything Luna, anything to help you build that trust again -He said taking both of his hands now, and Luna lifted her head to look him directly in the eyes
-Really? Anything? -She asked and he nodded as an answer -Would you stop being friend with Ambar? -She asked examinating his expression carefully
-What? -He asked shocked, so shocked that he let go both of her hands
-What I said, if that game was just because Ambar brings out that part of you, then would you stop being her friend? -Luna said calm and Matteo was looking at the nowhere, he couldn’t belive that Luna would ask him something like that
-N...no, she is my best friend, I couldn’t let her, we need each other, the responsabily of this is as mine as hers, she didn’t force me to do anything and I can’t just stop being her friend just because I did a stupidicity -He said sad, he knew he was letting go maybe the only chance to get Luna back, but knew that needed Ambar as much as she needed him too, and even if she was now with Simon he couldn’t let her alone, he was submerged in his thought when a pair of lips catched him out of ward and a little hand caressing his cheeks surprised him, but it took him just a couple of second to reaction and follow her, he was confused because he was already getting settle to the idea of not being with her again, but now he was kissing her -Please don’t tell me this is going to be our last kiss because I won’t stop kissing you then -Matteo said without stop kissing her
-I hope it isn’t -Luna said laughing
-Wait -Matteo said pulling her apart a little. to look her in the eyes -This means you forgive me? -Matteo asked confused but with a big excitement inside him and Luna nodded bitting her lower lip and Matteo didn’t know how someone could be so hot and adorable at the same time -But you know I won’t stop being friend with Ambar
-You heard when I said I need to build my trust again, that was a test, you could have lied me and tell me to unfriend Ambar when secretly you won’t, or even worse, you could actually unfriend her and being a crappy friend, but you prove me that you are loyal, and won’t lie to me in this, at least -Luna explained him taking his healthy hand with both of hers -Maybe I am going to need a little time and maybe we should go slow but I hope we can make it
-I hope that too, I am going to put the best of me to make it, and I am mostly the best, so that is a big percent -Matteo said smirking
-Oh, shut up before I give you another black eye you, snob
-Okay, but you know is true Piccolina -Matteo said and leaned to give her a little kiss on her cheek -Wanna go to the cafeteria? I told Gaston to wait for me there and he is with Simon and Ambar and I don’t think he is having a great time with their PDA
-Well, Nina was going there too, so I think they can make a competition of PDA -She said making fun
-Oh god, then let’s go faster or they are going to get banned from the Jam & Roller for life -Matteo joked back offering his hand to go there and Luna took it without hesitation, when they arrived to the table where their friends were sitting they all turned their heads to saw them
-Wow, can we confirm another couple from the roller? -Gastón asked excited
-We are not putting tags yet -Luna said while sitting in the chair that Matteo moved to help her sit and then Matteo sat next to her
-Yeah, we are going to take it slow -Matteo said giving Luna an accomplice smile
-Ugh, you are so lame, just have a good and long make out session and that’s all, problem solve -Ambar said nonchalanty leaning her head on Simon’s shoulder, but Luna opened her eyes in surpride and started to blush furiously
-Ambar, you are talking about my little sister -Simon exclamed with amusement
-Oh babe, and you didn’t know she was making out with Matteo, poor you, this must be awful, I wouldn’t want Matteo near any relative of mine neither -She said sarcastically and everybody laughed
-Hey, we order this for you guys -Gastón said pointing to a couple of glasses with juice in there and Luna and Matteo took it and started to drink
-And what were you talking before we came here and Ambar started to be shameless -Matteo asked throwing an amused look at Ambar
-We where planning on do a movie night in Ambar’s house next weekend -Simon answered smiling as always
-What kind of movie would you like? Because we are having some problems deciding -Nina said frowining at Ambar
-Well, because this nerds wants to see some sci-fi shit -Ambar said acussatory
-And what is the problem? You probably won’t be looking at the screening for being making out with Simon -Gastón teased her
-And I won’t like to have aliens and monsters in the background as I kiss my boyfriend, thank you so much -Ambar said and everyone on the table started to laughed amused about Ambar’s and Gaston’s ranting. And damn, how Matteo missed seeing that big and bright smile of Luna, he swear that if the sun ever shut down, her smile would keep the live in earth intact, he reached for her hand under the table and she took it inmediatly and gave him a smile.
Matteo couldn’t remember the last time he was that happy, the last time he called a country his home, the last time he felt being in family, but at that moment, in that little table, with that group of people he was indeed feeling that way.
#Soy Luna#Soy Luna Fic#Lutteo#Lutteo Fic#Simbar#Simbar Fic#Gastina#Gastina Fic#Luna Valente#Matteo Balsano#Ambar Smith#Simon Alvarez#Gaston Perida#Nina Simonetti#Brotp#Mambar#Gastteo#Sitteo#Nilu#fic by me
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When the sun met the moon.
LUTTEO / Twins AU
What would happen if Sol and Luna weren’t the same person, but two twin sisters, who were separated after the fire in which their parents died? Luna moves to Benson’s mansion after it’s discovered that she is Sol’s long lost twin sister, and tries to get used to her new life.
So… I know it has been a long time without this one, but it has been a very hard year, and the muses for this fic flew away. I will try to balance this one with the Gastina’s so I can update them more frequently. This one is special for Lutteos ;)!
[Other Chapters]
CHAPTER 6 - The Cocky Smile
It had been a couple of weeks, and being in Buenos Aires hasn’t been as bad as she had thought it would be at first. Yes, she missed her life in Cancun, roller skating by the beach, and her friends… she missed Simon the most. But she had made some great friends there in Buenos Aires, specially a shy brunette girl who sits next to her on her classes at the Blake South College, and a couple of guys who work in one of the best places she have ever met: the Jam & Roller.
She had started working there, indeed, even if Miss Benson (she can’t call her aunt) insisted in the fact she didn’t have the need to do it, the money wasn’t a problem. But she wanted to do something to keep her mind occupied, and being in the skating ring for hours was the best thing that had ever happened to her.
She hasn’t had any chance to have a long chat with Sol since the one they had on the swing, they have talked, of course, but her twin was kind of uncommunicative, always focused on her drawings, and with her headphones on. Luna really tried to start conversations with her, she couldn’t help herself, she needed to talk, but even if the other girl wasn’t rude to stop her from doing it, wasn’t very enthusiastic either.
They were in the same classroom, but Sol seemed to prefer sitting on the back of the classroom, next to the guy who introduced himself to her as Lucas ‘the coolest guy you will ever meet on earth’ while shaking her hand and saying again and again how much she looks like Sol. “Except for the bubbly optimistic aura you have, of course” he had added, deserving a frown from his friend. The guy was really nice, she can easily see why he and her twin were such good friends, and she even felt kind of jealousy as she didn’t have her best friend there.
“Planet earth calling Luna” a female voice sounded besides her, and she jumped a little before looking at her classmate with an apologetic smirk.
“I’m sorry, I’ve no idea where is my head lately” she excused herself, with a soft smile.
“Don’t worry, I understand” answered Nina, who looked more comfortable talking with her than when they first met. “It must be hard for you, I mean… all this changes”. She added, biting her lower lip.
“Yeah, it’s too much to process in such a short time” she answered, looking at the back of the classroom, where her sister was reading a book, while Lucas was having a short nap.
“I know” the other girl followed her sight, and smiled. “Anyway, is good to know Sol has a sister like you now, I can’t imagine how it was for her to grow up having Ambar Smith in her home.” She put her hands over her mouth, as if she had said something really bad. “Please don’t tell Ambar I said that”.
“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t.” It looked like everyone was afraid of the self-titled queen of the ring. Well, everyone except Sol, who looked more tired of her than scared.
During the latest weeks she saw the blondie and her friend walking thru the school’s corridor as if they were in one of the most prestigious catwalks of Paris fashion week. They were royalty, the rest of the students turn away from their path without hesitating, and looked at them as if they were some kind of divine entity. And, most of the time, they weren’t alone. The preppy boy was also there most of the time, her arm over his girlfriend’s shoulder, with that cocky smile drawn on his lips.
She wanted to punch his stupid face.
She didn’t know where these violent impulses come from, she had never felt something like that before, but she can’t help it.
“So, what were you telling me?” she asked Nina, and the shy girl smiled.
“I was asking you if you were going to compete at the skating competition. You’re really good… I mean, you have improved so much in so little time.”
Luna shrugged.
“I want to, but-” she looked around, to make sure no one heard her. “I don’t think I’m in the level to compete. Besides, the competition is in pairs, and I don’t think I could find a partner so fast. Are you going to compete?”
“Me?” Nina looked surprised. “Oh no- no, I don’t skate” she answered looking down to her hands on the table.
“Why?” She asked, with sincere curiosity.
“Because skating is not my thing… I mean, sports are not my thing, in general” Nina answered, right before the teacher arrived, and the class started.
She was hurrying to get outside the school to get home as soon as possible, she had to go to the Jam & Roller to work that afternoon, but she forgot her wrist guards on her bedroom, so she had to go all the way to the mansion, and then go back to be on time at the ring.
That’s so her.
But she wasn’t looking forward, so she couldn’t avoid running into someone.
“Are we going to meet this way all the time, delivery girl?” a familiar voice asked, and she internally sighed. Why him? Of all the students in that school, why did it have to be him?
“It’s not my fault that you keep getting on my way” she answered, putting her hands on her hips, frowning at the thug smile on his face.
“Well, you should look where you’re walking, piccola.” He replied, amused.
Luna rolled her eyes.
“Can we continue this conversation in another moment? I really have to go.” She said, passing by him, trying to put an end point to that conversation.
He followed her.
“So, you want to meet later and talk about it?” he teased.
“As much as I want to go see the dentist” she continued walking. “Seriously, preppy boy. Don’t you have something better to do than following me around?”
“I’m not following you” he answered, and she raised her eyebrows. “It happens that I too must go in this direction, delivery girl. Not everything is about you.”
“You were going the other way a minute ago, remember? That’s why we crashed.” She reminded him.
“And then I remembered I had to do something on this way.” He smiled, and she felt her heart beating faster. Why on earth his stupid smile had to be so perfect? Serious question.
She didn’t believe him for a second.
“So… are you going to join the roller-skating competition?” He asked after a few minutes, and she frowned at him.
“I don’t think I have the necessary expertise, and… anyway, I don’t have a skating partner.” she answered, not looking at him.
“Oh, excuses. Are you afraid, delivery girl?” He mocked, with an amused smirk, and she stopped walking to stand in front of him.
“Can you stop following me?” she asked, putting her hand between them. “I don’t have time to have this conversation, I have to get home, and then to Jam & Roller, before my work schedule starts. And, anyway, don’t you have to meet your girlfriend or something? I’m pretty sure she won’t like to know you’re talking with me.”
“I can do as I please, and you didn’t answer my question.”
“Because there’s nothing to answer, I gave you my reasons to not compete already, I’m not afraid” She crossed her arms.
“Whatever you say” he answered sarcastically, with that stupid cocky smile of him. “It’s ok, Luna. There’s nothing wrong with being afraid, especially when you are going to compete against the king of the ring.”
She growled.
“Seriously, Matteo. Go bother someone else, I don’t have time for this.” She said, before turning around and walking away.
And this time he did as she asked.
“You look annoyed.” her friend pointed out, before taking a bite of his hamburger.
“No, I’m not.” She answered, with a grimace.
“Yes, you are.” There was something she could never do, and that’s successfully lying to her best friend. “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” he asked, and she sighed.
“Ok… you win” she sighed. “Did you see what that guy did? He wasn’t even going that way, and when he saw Luna, he just ran to crash into her. What does he intend?”
“And that bothers you because…”
“Because she is my sister, and he is a player.” She growled. “Even worst, he is Ambar’s boyfriend, so he should stick to his own business, away from my sister.”
“Awe, who would have guessed you were the kind of overprotective sister?” Lucas mocked. “Luna will be fine, she’s a smart girl, and I’m pretty sure she can handle Matteo Balsano’s inflated ego.” He took a sip of his coke. “Are you going to finish your fries?”
Sol put them in front of him, and he thanked her with a bright smile.
“It’s just, I don’t want her to get hurt. Keeping her safe from my aunt and Ambar is enough, to sum another person to the list, I don’t want her to stop being the sunflower she is, and becoming like me.”
“And, what’s wrong with being like you?” he asked, with a potato on his mouth.
“You know what I mean” she complained.
“Yes, I know.” Lucas stopped eating to stare at her. “But also that you’re underestimating yourself, and I can’t stand it. You can’t protect her from everything that happens around her, you have enough with protecting yourself, and she is grown enough to know what’s good. And, anyway, I don’t think Balsano is as bad guy as he wants others to think.”
“He is.” She said, stubborn.
“Well, if so, it’s on Luna to keep him away. That’s not your responsibility” He took another potato to his mouth, and she sighed.
Maybe he was right, maybe the preppy boy (as she listened her sister calling him) wasn’t as bad as she thinks, but she needed to keep an eye on her sister, just to make sure no one breaks her spirit.
“I was thinking…” she started saying, thoughtful. “Milkshakes at Jam & Roller are pretty good, right? And happens that I’m craving one right now.”
Her friend smiled widely.
“Oh, I see what you’re doing.” He accused her. “But pay my milkshake and I’m in.”
#soy luna#sl ff#sl#lutteo#EclipseSL#Fanfic#Luna valente#sol benson#matteo balsano#Nina Simoneti#soy luna au#hope u like it#and lucas is my spirit animal#there I said it#written by me#TwinsAU
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Simon/Oliver: Don’t Take Me Back
CW: aftermath of suicide attempt to escape torture, mentions of past torture and panic attacks, brief description of self inflicted cuts, conditioning, mentions of dissoci@tion
Masterlist
---
“I’m not gonna do anything, Simon,”
Oliver’s voice shook as he almost spat out the statement, sounding desperate. He looked frail, hunched over on the couch with a blanket around his shoulders. Simon stared hard at him, biting his lip.
“I don’t know that, Ollie.”
His eyes darted up and met Simon’s, although briefly, an exhausted..almost annoyed look on his face. The circles under his eyes had gotten darker, but at least his color was looking better, he wasn’t as pale.
He never wanted to see him as pale as he did in that bathroom.
“Just like..ten minutes. I’ll be quick, I just want to be alone to shower.”
“I said I don’t know, how am I supposed to know you’re not gonna try anything? How am I supposed to know you’re safe?”
Oliver’s finger’s tightened around the blanket, hugging it close to him. He looked frustrated, trying to reason with the other and grasping at straws to come up with an excuse to do so.
“Please?” He begged. “I promise, Simon.”
He sighed, looking away.
“Fine,” He murmured, caving in. He could feel anxiety rising up in him at the thought of leaving Oliver alone, leaving him to….well..he just didn’t want him to be alone. Not this soon. Despite that anxiety, though, he knew Oliver deserved some degree of privacy, time to decompress.
Oliver hopped up off the couch, dropping the blanket. Simon watched him hurry down the hall, the bathroom door shutting and locking audibly. The sound made Simon’s heart drop, the sight of Oliver covered in his own blood flashing in his mind.
The shower turned on, but it didn’t stop the endless track of intrusive thoughts running through Simons head. Oliver thrashing in his arms, begging and screaming and trying to get away from him.
As if Simon was a threat.
But wasn’t he? Wasn’t he just a ticking time bomb at this point, one trigger away from dragging Oliver right back to the hell he worked so hard to help him escape?
What could he do at this point? Protect Oliver as best he could? Would he be better off distancing himself? He should have done something more to prevent this, shouldn’t have argued so much when Mia brought it up.
Maybe if he hadn’t, he wouldn’t have set Oliver off. None of this would have happened.
He watched the hallway intensely, heel tapping rhythmically against the carpeted floor. They’d cleared out the bathroom, Simon knew that, but it didn’t stop his mind from racing about all the possibilities, all the ways Oliver could try again.
Would he try again? Simon wasn’t quite sure.
This was his fault, putting Oliver in danger and making him scared. He made him so scared he’d try that.
In the back of his mind he knew he should’ve been more prepared for something like this, after the facility. They’d offered to train a new box boy after the first incident..but Cedric had refused. He did, however, take the offer to have..insurances provided.
That insurance was supposed to be Simon.
This was his job, this was supposed to be the thing he was fucking good at. He was supposed to have been better at protecting him.
Simon felt the tension melt from his body as he heard the door open, and a moment later Oliver appeared from the hallway. He had fresh clothes on, some sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt, forearms covered almost to his elbows in bandages. He leaned against the doorframe for support, towel still draped over his head.
“See?” He huffed, making his way to the couch and sitting heavily next to Simon. “Mfine.”
Despite his sulken demeanor he leaned against Simon, wet hair damping his shirt.
“Can I change those?” Simon asked, reaching gently for Oliver’s arm. The boy flinched, tensing as a plea almost surfaced before he shoved it down. He didn’t move away, but felt coiled up like a tight spring, ready to snap and flee at the first sign of danger.
“No drugs,” Simon murmured reassuringly, reaching out again as Oliver allowed him to hold his arm. “Not gonna do that again, just wanna redo your bandages.”
Oliver nodded slowly, leaning his small frame against Simon as he carefully unwrapped the bandages from his arm. He tried not to let himself look fazed at the stitches up cuts, running deep along and down his arm.
Oliver was staring at them, a strange look in his eyes as Simon quickly wrapped gauze up the limb.
“You ok?” He asked gently.
“Mhm.” Oliver hummed. “It’s just..reminds me of before. When I’d find things he did to me, things I couldn’t remember.”
“You don’t remember it?”
He was quiet for a moment as Simon taped off the bandage, and he didn’t move to pull his arm away.
“I do..it’s just a little blurry. I was, um, I don’t know. I freaked out, remember shutting the door..remember you holding me down,” the boy nuzzled closer and Simon let him, wrapping an arm around him and pulling him close.
It felt like a betrayal. Like Oliver trusted him solely from training and obligation.
“I’m sorry.”
The apology hung in the air for a moment before Oliver continued, before Simon could respond.
“I just..got really freaked out, and I’m sorry. I know I probably scared you.” He tightened his arms around Oliver as his voice broke, a sob stifled as he talked. “I, I was just s,so scared, I don’t know w,what I was doing, I, I just didn’t want to go back-”
He turned and buried his face against Simon’s shoulder, and he turned to pull them against his chest. Oliver’s sobs were muffed as he curled up, face pressed against his shirt as he held on tight.
“P,please don’t make me go back, Simon.”
His heart dropped at the pained plea, doubt in himself filling his mind. Could he really promise he’d always keep Oliver safe?
Even from himself?
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Taglist
@insanitywishes @18-toe-beans @castielamigos-whump-side-blog @spiffythespook@simplygrimly @cinnamonflavoredhugs @finder-of-rings @deluxewhump @ashintheairlikesnow
#whump#hurt/comfort#angst#angsty comfort#caretaker#whumpee#my oc's#my writing#Oliver and Simon#suicide aftermath tw#suicide tw#dissosi@tion tw
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