IM GOING TO START EATING CONCRETEEEEEEEEEEE VIRTUAL WORLD HAS NO RIGHT TO MAKE ME CRY AS HARD AS IT DOES

they went to the library

OKAY I MAY HAVE JUST MADE A FOOL OUTTA MYSELF,,,

so i was chilling with my friend Zach today and we were talking ygo as usual (HE GAVE ME HIS COPIES OF REDMD IM SO HAPPY AHAHHDHSBD)

and i accidentally let it slip. i fuckin said it.

episode 35.

i got clowned on so hard 😭😭 “why thank you, Yu-Gi-Oh! GX watcher 37!” BABES PLEASE IT SLIPPED… i called it BOTH brotherly bonds and sibling rivalry and got clowned on AGAIN… i’m never gonna learn am i 😭😭😭

he’s watching gx for the first time and i’m here as his guide/“oh it gets worse” buddy

Alright I think this is the last of the old Metru Uni designs I found so here we go

So this had been brought up a bit in the fic but not to the point where anything was done with it, but the Mata were the Metru's younger siblings in this AU. I remember Tahu had been mentioned, Lewa and Gali had shown up briefly, and Kopaka was in one of the side stories, but I don't think Onua or Pohatu were in there at all. Pohatu might have been? I don't remember. The plan was to have them all become Toa eventually, too, but not to have secret identities, I think. I remember someone commenting on this on deviantart back in the day being like "ummmm if this is supposed to be like a group photo why do some of them have their eyes closed" and I was like "my guy have you never seen an anime"

Oh god welcome back to Shojo Legs Time. So I'm not 100% sure why, but I made Takua and Hahli adopted siblings in this for some reason? No idea what the thought process was there. I don't think any of these characters actually appeared in the fic (I don't even think they showed up in any side stories) but I do remember writing stuff about them, it just never got published because it was set to happen way the fuck down the line. You know, Mask of Light stuff. Also for some reason Hahli went to a private girl's school. Not sure what my thinking was there. Love Takua's absolutely vacant expression. No thoughts head empty. Jaller and Takua were Tahu's best friends, and Hahli was one of Gali's best friends.

So this was around when those "keep ___ and carry on" things were popular and I did steal this one directly from a Professor Layton advertisement, but also in my defense Nuparu would love Professor Layton games so there. I think the idea was that Hewkii was into just like All Sports so he'd always be seen doing different sports every time we saw him. Not that either of them ever showed up in the fic. The idea was that (most of) the Inika were the Mata's best friends, so Nuparu was Onua's best friend and Hewkii was Pohatu's, which was all well and good but the fic was focused on the Metru so they never got to do anything lmao.

Yes Macku's last name was a Yugioh reference :P She and Hahli were Gali's besties, Kopeke was Matoro's only friend, and Ehrye was the kid who bullied Matoro in school. The only one who showed up in the fic itself was Ehrye because he did have a minorly important role, but also Macku got to be in a side story that was about her and Hewkii because of course it was

Okay so here are some of the Metru's friends. Kapura never showed up proper, but Vakama made reference to him, and it was generally accepted that he was pretty much Vakama's only friend before college. I think the idea was he was on the track team lol. Vhisola was obviously Nokama's best friend and actually DID show up in the fic itself, but is such a massive case of wasted potential that it just makes me sad. She should've been Nokama's roommate. Kongu was Matau's best friend, and I think they were in a band together in high school before Matau went to college. He is currently hanging around with Tamaru and Lewa, all of whom got like 30 seconds of fame in the fic. Hafu was Onewa's friend from high school, and also showed up for a bit in the fic, but mostly just to introduce Ahkmou, who I don't think I ever drew. Whoops. Kapura really does just look like A Guy here and I love that for him.

Alright so Matoro was Nuju and Kopaka's younger brother, which I think makes him the youngest character in the fic? Not sure. He had a part time job at a pet store, because of course he did. Again only showed up in a side story, but Nuju talked about him a fair bit. Ihu was in one (1) side story where we learned that he was Nuju's only friend pre-college but that he'd died a while before they graduated high school. So. Yeah. Onepu and Taipu were twins and Whenua's friends, but they did not show up at all nor were they even mentioned I don't think. Sorry guys. Taipu my beloved I can't believe I abandoned you like this

I'll be honest I have no idea what I was going for here. This is what I thought was the height of fashion in 2011. Kiina was an international student and also Nokama's roommate for some reason and I'm still mad that I did that instead of making Vhisola an actual character aaaaaaah Kiina I love you but you have no business being here I'm sorry

That's it for designs, maybe one day I'll throw the chapter and a half of manga that I made on here somewhere, thank you for coming with me on this journey of self-rediscovery

judai for the ask game? (if it isn't too late)

NEVER TOO LATE i love chattering about yugioh guys....judaijaden my friend my beloved pal

favorite thing about them: wwaughhh judai/jaden is such a good character and i adore his character arc..... i love that he effectively has to learn how to have fun with dueling again (and thats its the King of Games himself who helps remind him of that!), and that you don't have to sacrifice your passion for what you love as you grow up. Real shit. Also he's just,, so fuckin funny (especially in the dub.))--both his dub and sub VAs do such a great job with him.

least favorite thing about them: man season 3!jaden is........rrrrrouuughhhh. not my favorite, the things that season does to his character. s3 is just. kind of clumsy in its execution dfsfdgdf it drops a lot of jaden's most endearing traits and struggles to make those personality shifts fully worth it. i do think s4 helps bring it back around though.

favorite line: IT'S SO HARD TO PICK JUST ONE HE HAS SO MANY GOOD LINES ESPECIALLY IN THE DUB. "Um, I read the card?" "Alright, Ap :^)" "This is no time to be speaking Australian!!" "I guess bear hugs and old people just don't go together :^(" DUB COMEDIC TIMING HITS DIFFERENT

brOTP: WAHH I LOVE HIM AND SYRUS'S FRIENDSHIP thats his BESTIE!!!!! His dynamic with Zane is so good too....honorary truesdale brother. I'm also a bit in the minority in that I much more enjoy thinking about and playing in the space of his bond with yubel being a sort of platonic soulmates situation. yuub being jaden's cool metalhead older sibling type beat 4 lyf round these parts

OTP: sorry for being a heroshipper it's not my fault i just LIKE THEM. his dynamic with aster is just so funny and kind of sweet and im enamored with them. what if we both liked superheroes and we were both boys and we kissed. 😳 (i like a lot of jaden ships though. rival, spirit, fiance..... i do think he'd be kind of a bad boyfriend for a number of reasons so his relationships might not. last. but. at least he has plenty of friends!!!!)

nOTP: just dont vibe much with jadenyubel as a romantic ship im afraid u__u like its fine but not really my jam.... i've talked about it before but the "ive loved you since you were a child" thing that yubel has just works so much better as a platonic read to me than a,, romantic one. sits weird with me otherwise.

random headcanon: god. so many. gay fat trans guy who's gonna grow up to look like jack black. can and will see every superhero movie that comes out. absolute s-tier smash bros player. has a fondness for pokemon firered. i could go on.

unpopular opinion: the aforementioned preferring his dynamic with yubel to be platonic, also season 1 jaden (and season 1 of gx in general!!) fucking rules. masterclass of just peak silly yugioh.

song i associate with them: One of my favorites for him is Odds Are by Barenaked Ladies.... something so upbeat and hopeful to it. "Sure things go wrong, but I'll take my chances/Odds are long, so why not play"

favorite picture of them:

i love this tag force 3 sprite of him....so cute

Opinion on... one of your own ocs?(if you have any) o_O

:O!!!

Oh my gods okay okay okay

I have a character that I just remake a lot of times called Lepus. They're like a sona but I throw them into different scenarios and like change the personality age powers ya da ya da ya da you get it

All of my Lepus bullshit is going under the cut but first!

My other bullshit!

Obey Me Mc:

Very cool. Very chill. Very tired. Give them a break please also get some sleep you can see the stress marks and eye bags from across the room

Twst Mc:

They are not payed enough for this please someone help him he is exhausted and over whelmed constantly and this close to beating someone with his camera [holds up hand to show the fingers touching]

I have a few more twst ocs but biting my tongue at the moment

All my Yugioh Ocs

God save this weird as fuck bloodline

Blue: Go granny, get it bestie

Lillian: Let this woman punch someone.

Star: Fatherless behaviour /j /j /j

Pandora: Stop letting this woman punch someone.

Lily: There is arson in your eyes

Eve: Thank you for being the token (kinda) normal one

Mecha: Pint sized (affectionate)

Kate: Stop burying your feelings challenged

Pokemon Ocs from when I was like, 11 but still love

God save this weird group of cousins/twins

Galar: Adohira: dON'T BITE PEOPLE-

Aloha: Rose: Very mentally ill and cool looking

Kalos: Yvella: Chill. Emo. Xina: Not chill. Peppy.

Unova: Brittney: Oh my sweet summer child how are you not getting stains in those white clothes? Whittney: Oh my sweet lanky child how are you not over heating in all black?

Hoenn: Ruby: Oh my sweet summer child who looks so innocent, stop trying to kill your brother. Sapphire: Hey asshole (/pos) stop trying to kill your sister.

Luke of like any variant

My sunshine boy <33333

Nessa and Vincent in any au

(In the most thick and over the top country accent ever) Ma'am, Sir, would you do this country boy the honor if having your hands in marriage please?

ALRIGHT TIME FOR MY MENTAL ILLNESSES TO SHOW :DDD

Manburg Radios Lepus

The og, the beloved. The cool vigilante with the powers Crystals. Stop accidentally destroying cars when fight Wool. Also wow that's some trauma-

Radio Waves Lepus

Wilbur Kinnie.

BLR smp Lepus

Ha ha old bird

God au Lepus

STOP ADOPTING PEOPLE CHALLENGE /j (keep doing it bestie, soon you'll have the whole server and pantheon /j)

Apocalypse au Lepus

Give this man a break

Candy/Sugar Rush au Lepus

Capitalist (derogatory)

Cyberpunk au Lepus

Very cool android resistance leader

Dimension hopper/Train au Lepus

Curious like a cat

Genshin au Lepus

Wine Aunt energy

Ghost au Lepus

All politicians go to hell so you really dodged a bullet huh? Also cool ghost rat

Ghost Hunter au Lepus

Cool vampire guy pretending to be human and helping run a ghost show

Halloween Town au Lepus

Very cool vampire who's is just trying to live with his kids Passerine and Groovy

Horror Town au Lepus

Hey nice demon arm! Don't go in the catacombs! :D

Horror Troupe au Lepus

The only person ever to shoot the murderer and make SURE they're dead. Oh yeah and he faced off with a demon and lived that's cool I guess

KNY au Lepus

Little Starry boy with some swag

Law and Crime au Lepus

WET LOOKING RAT WHY YOU LOOK LIKE THAAAAAAT

Siren au Lepus

Little Mermaid Kinnie

Moon Town au Lepus

Camera and sibling angst go brrrrrrrrrr

Plague Apocalypse au Lepus

Bastard and hot

Plant au Lepus

Very threatening. It's tempting but don't kill someone (again) please

Pokemon au Lepus

Get some sleep bestie

Racer au Lepus

LAWYER COMMITTING CRIME GO BRRRRRR

Royalty au Lepus

School au Lepus

My little delinquent <3

SCP au Lepus

Scientist challenged God, met repercussions

Space Planet au Lepus

Disappears for millions of years, refuses to elaborate

Alien au Lepus

My little alien <3

Spiderman au Lepus

Uh oh

Things in the Woods au Lepus

Eldtrich god/horror just chilling in the woods with their two kids that are also eldritch horrors/gods, Passerine and Groovy

Trickster au Lepus

Come one, take a dip with the funny Eel man, he doesn't bit too hard :)

Urban Fantasy au Lepus

M

MIL

MILF and Lady Dimitrescu kinnie-

Virtue and Sin au Lepus

Sin of Lust being a surprisingly good parent to four kids

Wizard au Lepus

Funky star person wizard who lives in a funky wizard tower with his little brother trauma here ha ha right?.... right?

Zodiac au Lepus

Crab

Plague au Lepus

Funky little plauge man who is clinically insane

Creator au Lepus

What is a puppet who broke from it's strings? What is a god without a heart but still learned love? What is a god who was never supposed to live but survived? What is perfection to a god who was never perfect? What kind of mother is destined to kill his own child?

There are a few more (one I really wanted to put on here but did not because of a promise i made) but sadly I did not put them because most of them don't have that much going on other than basic concepts (minus the promise one that one has a LOT)

yugioh & warriors for the series questions!

hmmm gonna choose gx for the yugioh if that's okay! If not, i can do dm later!

(using dub names bc thats what i learned first!)

Favourite character: Ohhhh this is hard....i love almost everyone tbh, but I think I'll go with Jim Crocodile Cook! Absolute king, perfect fella.

Funniest character: The Chazz. Manjoume Thunder. Funniest motherfucker alive. So iconic i named my cat after him dskjfkldsjdlks. Close seconds go to Atticus for being....himself, and Aster, who is unintentionally hilarious to me. (affectionate)

Best-looking character: Camula my beloved,,,,love vampire women

3 favourite ships: Hmm..... Jesse/Jaden, Zane/Atticus (and maybe Yusuke?), and Jim/Axel or Jim/Tyranno, i can't decide!

Least favourite character: If i so much as look at Adrian Gecko i will feel Absolute Rage

Least favourite ship: Other than the obvious gross shit of shipping any of the siblings together, I'm gonna say Adrian/Echo. i dont think anyone does ship it but still. She deserved so much better than him

Reason why I watch it: My god it is so insane (affectionate)

Why I started watching it: My partner wanted to watch it with me, so we did!

now for warriors!

Favourite character: Crookedstar, Squirrelflight, and Dovewing are my top three!

Funniest character: Berrynose. Fuckin Berrynose. I don't even feel particularly strongly about him but he cracks me up

Best-looking character: In terms of designs, I tend to like the torties most! They're fun to play around with markings with. If you're asking which one I'd go "Oh my god just LOOK at that pretty kitty!!" about while walking through the forest, I'd go with Leopardstar! I love marbled and rosetted cats, so I'd probably gasp seeing one.

3 favourite ships: CloudBright, DoveBriar, And CrookedWillow. Close seconds for FireSand and SquirrelDaisy!

Least favourite character: Gonna ignore the obvious answers for this one (though I agree with most) and say Shrewclaw from Tallstar's Revenge. Man literally told Tall no one would miss him if he died and then turned around and said "I was only teasing umu"

Least favourite ship: uh. a lot ngl, but lets say BrambleSquirrel atm

Reason why I read it: I mean, I only learn things through osmosis at this point, but even then its like hotel california - you can never leave.

Why I started watching it: 5th grade me saw cat books and went crazy went stupid

[Martin + Tapes] bro, what's the Eye gonna do when it figures out that Martin's gonna die of old age some day? I feel like it'd either A. "Oh shit!!! — wait, we got the Archivist all marked up? Good, great," and Jon would recite the ritual out of nowhere or B. Find a different way to preserve him a la book of the trapped dead or the coffin

Okay I could see this going one of three ways.

1: The Eye does have that realization, panics, and ends the world so that it can keep Martin and friends alive as one big happy polycule for the rest of eternity (until the End shows up and awkwardly clears its throat, at least). Or Surely Martin will be happy about it. Eventually. Any day now he’ll stop crying.

I am leaning away from this. Not because I don’t love it, but because I already wrote a whole thing about Martin being courted by the Eye in the apocalypse, and I don’t want to repeat myself too much. Plus I feel like the fanfic Beloved has already accomplished this sort of guilded cage angst better than I could, with Jon as the object, so I’d recommend anyone who wants to see more of this sort of thing to just go and read that and maybe wheedle @inklingofadream into giving us more of that sweet sweet Beholding/Jon content :D

2: The Eye doesn’t have the foresight to realize that Martin is going to Die Someday. Even after multiple kidnapping and death scares. Once the immediate threat of death is out of sight the Eye, like a distractible toddler, forgets completely about it in favor of going 😍 Martin! Martin, Martin, Martin!

And so Martin one day gets to slip away quietly in his sleep because the Eye is too much of a dumbass to prepare for future eventualities. The Web consoles its poor dumb sibling and tries not to laugh too hard.

3: My favorite one for this scenario: as you said, the Eye keeps Martin alive some other way. Not the book of trapped dead, I think, except as a last resort. Just--the situation goes on and Martin’s sanity gets whittled away. And then one day, (some time after Melanie has managed to quit?) he says something like “You guys are gonna make me go grey. You’re gonna drive me to an early grave.”

Jon looks at him unblinkingly. “No er won’t,” he says. “We won’t let you die. At all.”

And then Martin realizes that he hasn’t aged. That people have mistaken him for 19 for years. That he hasn’t gotten a single new spot on his skin since he got a job at the Institute.

Martin tries to blind himself, then.

(cw: attempted suicide, self injury, non-consensual restraint, denial of bodily autonomy, attempted manipulation, and slight (?) non-consensual body modification of the ‘‘protective, not allowed to be Injured” variety.)

Martin is pinned down before he can get his hands on a sharp object. But by now he’s gotten a lot better at playing them. So instead of trying to fight he just goes limp, forces all thoughts of escaping or dying out of his mind and looks up at Jon with the biggest eyes and goes Oh, you guys are right, thank you for stopping me. I’m not going to blind myself, that would be awful! Can you let me go now?🥺

“Eh, I don’t know,” Sasha says. “He’s opening his eyes a fraction wider the way he does when he’s trying to manipulate us.”

😅 Whaaaat, no. Definitely not! I was just scared for a second. Anyway, my arms are all itchy are you going to hold me down forever? 😭 That’s so mean you guys are so cruel sometimes! 🥺

“Well,” Tim says uncomfortably. “It would be really mean to hold him down too long...”

Martin gives the most Convincing lip wibble and starts to tear up, and then they let him go. He doesn’t make an immediate move to reach for something sharp, and lets them all hug him and hugs them back even! 🤗 Yay!

The next time, Martin gets close enough that he actually slices his temple before they wrestle the awl away.

This time they actually tie him down to a chair while they pace around and try to figure out what to do. Martin schools his expression and thoughts into the perfect picture of remorse, even sheds a few tears and says he’s so sorry. The others are still too antsy to let him go so easily this time.

“But we can’t just tie him down forever,” Tim insists again. “It isn’t like that one fantasy he had back when he was 21 and he got really into yugioh abridged series fanfiction!”

Martin’s eye twitches a little at being reminded of that.

“Yes but we can’t let him blind himself and die either!” Sasha says. “That’s even worse! Remember: death--bad!”

Sasha points to a chart she made with various arguments about how death is the Worst. Points on it include “likelihood all Martin thoughts will stop after death: 100%” and “Research shows that after being dead no one can feel happy, because the part of the brain that makes the happy chemicals shuts off.” The others nod solemnly.

“We can’t let him go until we can be certain--”

“But he’s gotten too good at controlling his thoughts for us to ever be certain all of the time,” Jon says, distressed. “And he’s upset. He doesn’t like this. He’s going to cry.”

Martin is about to genuinely cry, but he also starts to play it up once they notice.

They keep arguing until Martin starts to doze off a bit. When they wake him up and tell him that they’ve come to a decision, he expects to be love bombed for a few days while they try to Convince him how wonderful it would be to live forever with them. He gets ready to play along, to (pretend to) open up about his fears and accept reassurance, to--

Goggles?

“So you can’t blind yourself when they’re on,” Elias, who came down at some point, says with a smug grin. (He’s the one who came up with the idea, so course he’s decided it’s Genius.)

“Oh,” Martin says. “Yeah, sure! That makes--sense?”

He looks at the goggles. He expects to find a lock or something on them, but no. Just regular motorcycle goggles. Kind of cool looking, because of course they’ve been selected according to his taste.

He bats away a thought about how easy it will be to just take them off. None of them seems to have noticed, so he lets out a sigh of relief.

“Excellent,” Elias says, smugly. “Will you do the honors then, Jon?”

Martin is about to protest he can put them on himself once they untie him. But Jon nervously steps forward and puts them on himself before he can. And that’s fine, they’re gonna let him go once he’s got them on so he can deal with that. They slip on comfortably, and Jon holds them there longer than he strictly has to.

“Right,” Martin says. “On now. Can you let--”

Then, he feels the goggles melt into his face.

It’s not painful. Not exactly. The point isn’t to torture him, after all. But he feels them burrowing into his skin and fuse into the bones on his face and it’s wrong, it’s wrong. He screams. He thrashes.

“Hold him tighter,” Elias instructs.

Martin can hear Jon make a distressed sob through the white hot terror that makes all of Martin’s senses turn to static. He feels more hands grab onto his head to quell his thrashing--probably Tim, he’s got a stronger hold than Sasha. Soon he can’t even move his head, just sob as he feels the things welded into his skull.

They do let him go afterwards, as promised. Martin’s out of his mind then. No thoughts, just get them off. He claws at his face and violently bangs his head against the walls and the floors.

“Don’t stop him,” Elias tells the others when they cry and reach out to stop him. “This is how he will understand.”

Because nothing will crack the goggles. They’re supernaturally reinforced. Martin beats that realization into himself, and then crumples on the floor breathless. The others swarm around him then. They hold his hands and gently stroke his hair.

“It’s okay.” Tim. That’s Tim. “We’re here with you.”

“It’s going to be so much better now.” Definitely Sasha. “Just think about all of the things you’ll get to see over the next century!”

“I’m sorry.” That’s Jon. Choked up and barely able to get the words out. “Martin--”

“We love you.”

Martin can’t tell who says that one, but it makes him snap and scream until he’s frothing at the mouth with rage. Because he’s finally too spent to stop himself from shouting all of the things he’s been keeping in. 

No you don’t! No you don’t!

How A Stolen Book Changed My Life

(Also known as "Dragon Knights Saved My Life") It started on a day somewhere between late 2006 and very early 2007. I was 16 and in high school and convinced my parents to stop by the library in town instead of the one nearest my house. I was looking for some manga and I knew they had some. It was a paltry little offering, just a handful of volumes in a short shelf. A few random Yugioh volumes, some Dragon Ball Z, a few stray volumes of Naruto. Nothing caught my eye in particular so I decided to just pick at random. I grabbed a volume of Yugioh, another of some shoujo dream something or other and 2 volumes of a manga called Dragon Knights, volumes 22 and 23 respectively, the only ones they had. I recall flipping through the pages trying to determine which held more interest as I sat in the car while my family went into Walmart to do a little shopping. I don't recall much about the shoujo dream manga except that it had 'dream’ somewhere in the title and the Yugioh volume was just something to flip through to compare to the anime I had already seen. I had high hopes for that shoujo manga but it sadly disappointed (didn't help that it was volume 2 and I'd never even read volume 1.) So I read through character profiles and 'the story thus far’ in the Dragon Knights manga, having a hard time fitting faces from the older volumes artwork in the profiles with the newer style artwork in the books I had. It was going to be a 26 volume series and I had borrowed volumes 22 and 23 having never heard of nor read the earlier books. I was at a loss to the storyline even with the summary in the front of the book, none of the “main” characters seemed to be around much in these 2 books. But one caught my eye, a character named Gil. As it turns out I just happened upon 2 of the 4 books of the entire 26 volume series that focuses on this character! And I had no idea how that happenstance would change my life. Needless to say I fell in love with this character. I began to draw him, make up stories in my head with him, want to know more about him (ahh the trouble of loving a side character in a little known series!), read fanfiction about him. I wound up finding every Dragon Knights related website and forum I could searching for more information. I was obsessed. I tried my best to get my hands on the other volumes he featured in first before eventually trying to collect the entire series. I fell fast and I fell hard. This was my new favorite character, my new obsession to draw and trace and print and read and write and search about. I wanted any and everything Gil! But these were library books, they had to be returned in 2 weeks. But… I couldn't give them up now! Not when I had fell in love! There were no bookstores where I lived. My parents didn't have a credit card to order books online. The library was my only connection! I had never stolen anything in my life. I loved libraries! I knew how frustrating it was to want a book that someone borrowed from the library but never returned! But… this felt like fate! This was my soulmate made from ink! And so… I didn't return them. I kept them. Marked out the barcodes with Sharpies to match the book covers. Since I was the one who always checked the mail on my way home, I destroyed every letter from the library about fines so my parents would never know. I stayed nervous that they would still find out somehow though. That they'd be mad that I'd stole and that they'd have to pay hefty fines. Within two years though, another letter from the library arrived. My gut sunk with fear. They were going to get me now and lock me up in library thief jail! But instead the letter mentioned National Library Week and came with an amazing note: in celebration they had decided to forgive my fines. I was free! $50 in fines was something I no longer had to worry about! The books were mine and my parents would owe nothing for them or my sin! But the fire Gil sparked in me rose still, being an artist type this eventually led me to DeviantArt and posting a bit of my art and finding others fanart of my beloved Gil. I went onto a Dragon Knights forum and a Dragon Knights guild on Gaia Online. I was too shy and new to the series to speak up much but I remembered some of the recurring usernames from site to site. Time passed, I graduated, I moved to DC, started art school, wound up broke, lonely, depressed and severely in debt, I moved back to KY, I started community college, I used my tuition grant money to finally get internet at my home. I eventually caved and followed a few of my friends in joining Tumblr. I went there cause my friends had (for the time) abandoned to their Facebook's to congregrate on this new site and because my newest obsession, Magi, had lots of dedicated blogs and information located there. So I joined and then realized one of the recent Dragon Knights 'sites’ I had been following was actually a Tumblr blog! So I quickly followed it as my steadfast Gil obsession had never really lulled. Some more time passed and I graduated college and moved a few hours away to start my first real job. It was then that things went horrifically, wonderfully, horribly, wrong and so, so right! I started having anxiety attacks and a fellow member of the Dragon Knights (and Gil) fandom whose name I remembered over all those years had started messaging me right about the same time. This person's elder sibling had gone through similar things and so they were the first to reach out a helping hand and understanding heart full of advice and comraderie. And they continued to reach out. We became friends. I became friends with a few other Dragon Knights peeps as well. And then I fell in love with this helpful fellow fan. And then things went to hell. I started to become increasingly depressed, having more and more anxiety attacks. I began to self harm for the first time. I constantly planned out my own suicide. Through all of this, my new internet friend was there. Sometimes my episodes were because of him. I was new to the feelings of love and jealousy and obsession (with real people at least) and the hurt that comes with living alone, with not knowing where you fit in the world, with not knowing how you fit in this other person's life and what to do with all these new overwhelming feelings while also trying to find a new job and pay the bills and prove I could do this thing on my own. My emotions were a swirling rollercoaster ride from Hell but somehow, some way, he rode through them with me. He rode through them with cute little drawings of Gil, and fun games to distract me from my pain, comforting words, and plans to meet at a large anime con. We met. I was still in love but he was not. It hurt to be turned down but his presence was something I still loved having in my life. It was something that, through all the emotions and hurt and blood and suicide attempts, was still somehow there. He rode the rollercoaster hell ride with me and was still with me at the ending gates. I wound up moving back home, getting counseling, getting meds, and slowly working on getting back on my feet. I went through a few more jobs shakily. But I learned how to reach out when I needed too. Learned that boundaries were not a thing to be feared. That I was not alone. That there were people who cared about me. That I was not a monster. I went through a lot those few years. My sexuality changed again and again and even my gender changed in the end. (I still credit the friend I made via love of the Dragon Knights series on helping me through all that as well.) And now, here I am. 28 years old. Now identifying as transmale, pan-romantic and somewhere between asexual and demi-sexual ( as far as I know of at this moment.) I still have the occasional anxiety attack. There's still a scampering from the brain raccoons and all that the mischief they bring every now and again (from paranoia to depression and overthinking and dissociation.) But for the most part I've come to realize that I've grown a lot. I've changed a lot. I actually like most of how I am now. I'm happier. I'm more accepting of myself. I'm still hopelessly in love. And… I'm alive. You see, during that year I was on my own I tried to kill myself no less than 3 times and scarred my arms many, many times more than that. But I'm alive still. And through it all the person I thank most of all for that, the person who taught me how to breath, the person who unknowingly stole my heart, the person who showered me with art of our beloved Gil, the person who literally SAVED ME from myself - I met because I stole a couple books from a library over 10 years ago. A lifetime obsession, inspiration for art and stories and character building, a breath of life into discovering myself and who I am, a love that's still as deep now as it began, a friendship I thank the gods for every day, a true lifesaver in ever sense of the word, and even the namesake for my gender transition journey - ALL OF THIS AND MORE because I stole a couple of books from a library when I was a wee nerd.

i am sooooo normal about this scene (is a massive fucking liar)

For the YGO ask!

15, 31, 33

😊

ty for the ask, abby!! :D 💫💫💫

15. how did you get into yugioh? OKAY OKAY STORYTIME. i had an ex-friend (we’ll call him C for now) and C was *super* into ygo/mtg and a lot of other card games, but those two specifically. we’d bonded over series like JJBA and games like D:BH so C thought YGO would be something i’d enjoy. i hyperfixated on Jou long enough to get into it, but then he introduced me to Chazz and i’ve been a changed man ever since.

31. favorite duel? ooooooooooooh… okay, okay. thematically? ep 35 of gx, sibling rivalry MY BELOVED <3 i did a speech assignment on that episode and how it changed me i’m INSANE! the confirmation that i don’t need my abuser’s respect to be a good person or to be loved in general just. it woke me up. add on the fact that my abusers are also family who i’m supposed to rely on and don’t need to fit into their mould of how i’m supposed to be? chazz = me confirmed!!

for non-thematic reasons. uhm. episode 159. uh. uhm. ah. uh. i’m not sure why??? but i’m so gay for nightshroud. i don’t know WHY. but i AM. atty is in the trenches fighting for his LIFE and i’m agiggling n kicking my feet up in the air 🤭

33. favorite quote from a ygo character? ohohoho. i’m so bad at remembering quotes. like piss poor. BUT i do have a 3-in-1 volume of the DM manga right next to me!!

Joey Wheeler, Duel 145: Chains.

“Yugi… I’ll stay with you on the edge of the River Styx… but I won’t let you cross over! If you get too close, I’ll drag you back even if I have to hit you!!”

HE’S SO???! HE’S SO??!?!?!?!?! jou the beloved <3

honorary mention!!! Manjoume Jun, GX 3: The Legendary Dragon!

“I trusted you, but… I casted you aside for my own pride! No! It wasn’t that! I was afraid of losing with you at this Academia. But now, I’m no longer afraid… I want to grow alongside you too…”

“Will you fight with me again? Light and Darkness Dragon…”

EXPLODING COMBUSTING MELTING BEING TORN APART AT THE SEAMS

this was a lot but!! yeah!! thanks for the ask abby!! stars :> 💫💫💫💫💫

Do Mr Cyber End himself Zane for the ship prompt

*GRABS CHAIR* *PULLS IT OVER AND FLIPS IT AROUND* *SITS IN IT BACKWARDS LIKE A COOL SUBSTITUTE TEACHER* ALRIGHT LETS DO THIS

ok first of all, i Bigly headcanon zane truesdale my beloved as some degree of aromantic because it's my party and i'll project onto my favs if i want to lmao, anyway thats very an ingredient in the way i analyze and interpret his relationships. keeping that in mind,

My NOTP for them: so weird to me they make NOTP first??? anyway, uh, if you ship him with his brother i think i should get to snap you in half like a number two pencil. get the hell outta here.

My BROTP for them: endless sobbing crying etc. over his relationship with syrus i have talked about them a thousand years and i will talk a thousand more i love them SO much!!!!!!! it has hands down become probably my favorite yugioh relationship just... in general. god. theyre special to me. i ALSO do love his relationship with jaden and alexis too--zane genuinely likes and cares about these kids!!!! he has three little siblings actually!!!!!!!

My OTP for them: i literally halfway through gx was like "no ships have grabbed me by the throat with this show lol" and then like a week after i finished it idolshipping rose out of the ocean and broke my ass in two. tag force 3 slammed me into the ground. love love LOVE him and atticus together, wwaahhhh. my beloved zatticus..... very often thinking about my personal brainworld take on this ship with aro zane...something about zane loving his best friend so goddamn much and atticus's turboromantic ass meeting him halfway and loving him romantically enough for the both of them. i could talk on this for ages lol......theyre just good. life partners.

My second choice pairing for them: ok i do think he and aster's dynamic is very, very funny, i like their post-canon potential a lot, though i particularly especially just enjoy them as annoying besties and/or fwb who argue 24/7. this is essentially their relationship in my college AU and it's one of my favs.

My fluffy pairing for them: idol.............love thinkin about them pre-atticus' disappearance, just goofy 15-16 year olds awkwardly figuring things out. something very sweet to me about atticus being the only person whose goofy antics can make zane crack a smile.

My angsty pairing for them: IDOL AS WELL............................ the things ep 89 did to me. stares out to the sea..... ive been listening to let me drown by orville peck a LOT lately and it is giving me ultra absolute zatticus agony, my GOD.

My favorite poly ship for them: do enjoy the obelisk elites as a trio ship..... tfw duel academy's 3 best duelists are all mentally fucked up nonbinary guys like, fuck it, let em cuddle together!!.

My weirdest pairing for them: this isnt a romantic ship but none of yall know the level of college AU madness im on with my roommate wherein zane and a college aged claus from the hit nintendo video game Mother 3 have an extensive tom and jerry-esque....rivalry?? friendship????? static noises??? zane wants to hit him with his car. we are truly going places never before reached with these characters

>send me ygo characters for this meme