#should i even tag mccartney???
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uhhhhhhhhhhhh beatles doodles, just no ringo.. little bit of early early bugs. mostly just early though. yknow?
#one could say this has a heavy concentration of harrison. i also say that#yeah som of its okay some not#whatever#doodles#george harrison#john lennon#should i even tag mccartney???#maybe later#beatles#the beatles#the beatles fanart
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picture, if you will, a wings jazz bar...
anyways! here is another large production recording played in typical mccartney fashion (everything you hear is me!) that has been a real labor of love over the past three days. play it again, paul mccartney and wings or whatever they said in casablanca ;)
#i love doing these :] four part harmony making me feel like the carpenters. and this is the first time a track has featured my BASS#it should be evening for my est friends so that is optimal time to launch a jazz bar inspired arrangement- i added record static and all!#paul mccartney#wings#music#gia tunes#<- making a tag
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Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 2.3
Yoko, you're hilarious. Sirens going off in her brain. “Alert! They're into childhood bedroom crush confessions territory. Redirect! Redirect!”
But also I find them so ridiculous. All the men in this. Is it just a case of men always assuming women are talking more than they are? Because I am definitely not hearing Yoko talking for John here. Or is this a rare case?
Paul’s scouse getting progressively thicker as the argument intensifies. Trying to finish his point as John's interrupting him. “But. Bot! Boot!! I do think –”Ugh it's so sexy. Sorry, anyway.
Paul's pep talk to John is super cute, but what does he mean, exactly? “we would actually all have dug to see you kick that telephone box in.” What is this metaphor? What does he want John to break? Or does he just mean John should act out more?
Okay but in this interview, she's definitely doing 90% of the talking even when the interviewer specifically asks just John. So if that's how they are in meetings or whatever then okay I could see that being frustrating.
Ow. Fuck. Hate that moment.
John: another Lennon/McCartney original entitled “All I Want is You”. Paul: Allan Wanna Too . . . Al Aronovitz. John: Al Aronovitz if you'll Aronovitz. We'll both Aronovitz together. Ugh sometimes you can just hear the voices in their heads being like “no don't tell him you like his song, that's pathetic! God, you're such a loser for even thinking it.” And sometimes . . . It's this. There's no in between.
John knows if Paul's singing “Darling” he's talking to him. Look at his expression as he's watching Paul sing “stand by me Darling, Darling.”
“Dig it” is actually insane. Paul: if you want it, you can get it. You can get it if you can dig it up. John: I can hardly keep my hands still. John: if you want it all you gotta do is ask for it. Paul: (intermittent with John, starts a crescendo of “yeah. Yeah! Yeah! YEAH!” and “want it. Want it. Want it. Want it.”) John continues: Nicely. Say pretty please and you're gonna get it. You're gonna get it alright, you're gonna get it. This time you're gonna get it good!
The looks as they're making fun of something important to him. Poor George.
See and here's the thing. If George knows basically what happened in India (which from this quote that's what I'm deducing) then Paul knows. You know?
Okay you know the “I love you, blue” moment from Get Back? I was feeling so devastated for John that there was no response to that and someone very smart pointed out in the tags that this moment could be interpreted as Paul's coded reply which I think is a lovely idea. And seems legit especially since John responds with song lyrics.
Paul: no that's good, that one. John: okay, tick it. Paul: I Love that one. John: thank you. Paul: I really do. John: I enjoy it too sometimes.
Peter Jackson why didn't you include these bits in your film? Huh? Huh? Was it because it was too homosexuality for you?
John's voice singing “you can imitate anyone you know” over teeny clips of Paul doing about fifty different impressions. It's so phenomenal.
John's “pleeeeeheeeease” actually makes me want to cry. He's begging with everything he's got. It's like he's a baby, really truly, and it physically hurts. If I was the one he was talking to in that song, I don't know if I could survive.
But Paul is sure. They're stuck. He can't give John what he wants.
Yoko tries to give John a kiss and he's so harsh. “Stop it!” If my boy ever talked to me like that . . . Let's just say I wouldn't be sitting with him at work anymore.
And then he's laying with his head in her lap, laughing madly with Paul. See what I mean? If Paul would just let John lay in his lap, I guarantee Yoko would not be there.
A coded exchange PJ left out. You can tell when they start to talk in code just by their tone. Suddenly they're a bit more even-keeled, a bit slower, clearer in their speech. Paul: achieve something every day. It may in theory sound silly, but . . . John: in practice . . . Paul: it's even sillier. But in practice, it's all there is. John: this is where it's at. Paul: this is where it's at unless that is where it's at. John: this is where it's at now. Paul: teamwork. A good defense. John: you play ball with me and I'll play ball with you. Paul: could be learning something instead of this you know.
There's a reason Let it Be is played at funerals, folks.
Is it just me or has Paul literally never looked uglier? Linda's a babe, though. John and Yoko both look cool and hot ASF.
Again, the song choices. “Goodbye (Paul's Version. From the Vault.)” Played over the double wedding footage? Okay. Goodbye, my love.
#paul mccartney#the beatles#john lennon#mclennon#ringo starr#george harrison#yoko ono#linda eastman#understanding lennon mccartney#ulm
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I've decided that I would like to understand what my mutuals see in the old man music cinematic universe. I have loved and supported their derangement from afar in my life and would like to dip my toes in, so to speak. so I come to you humble now and ask: where can I get information about the beatles that will make me think about old British boy band members exploring eachothers bodies? if it helps, I dont mind their more well known music, but I've never really dug into it properly.
Oh man. You've no idea how tough this is to answer lol. My derangement regarding the Beatles has been built up over 6 years now and I hardly remember how it even began.
I suppose that yes, if you're new, you should begin with listening to all their music because it's genuinely very good stuff. Their filmography is also good. If you haven't seen any of their films yet, it's a great place to start because the Beatles' looks, personalities, and sense of humour are just as important to understanding their appeal as their music is (in order: A Hard Day's Night (1964), Help! (1965), Magical Mystery Tour (1967), Yellow Submarine (1968), and Let It Be (1970) - most of these should be free to watch on Dailymotion).
If you're very serious about the Beatles and into the history on an actual academic level, this is a pretty good list of free resources to browse through.
My personal introduction into becoming an actual gay Beatles truther was a series of fan-made documentaries on YouTube called Understanding Lennon-McCartney. It's been a very long time since I've seen them, but I remember them blowing my mind and making me believe in the concept of soulmates. As fun as it is to make jokes about the Beatles exploring each other's bodies, there's something genuinely profound and beautiful about Lennon and McCartney's relationship that shouldn't be overlooked. Chris Evans said it best:
The Understanding Lennon-McCartney documentaries series is also just the most comprehensive overview of McLennon that I know of, even if it's semi-outdated now. I watched them in 2019 and even in just the last 5 years, a lot of new McLennon info has come out. We are truly living in the golden age of Beatles RPF.
One of the biggest recent developments was Peter Jackson's 2021 Get Back series. They're basically a revamped version of Let It Be (1970) and also required viewing at some point. I know a lot of Beatles fans who were introduced to the band via Get Back so I suppose it's not a bad place to start if you're so inclined, though since they chronicle some of the last days of the band, I think they can be best appreciated if you're already at least somewhat familiar with the boys.
After watching all of that, I think you'll have a pretty decent foundation of what people on Tumblr are talking about. Then oddly enough, I'd consider Tumblr the best resource for info. There's more in-depth Beatles talk on here than any other website as far as I know and, in my experience, I learned a lot just by freely exploring various tags and blogs.
There's also the Beatles biopic cinematic universe which is worth dipping your toes into if you like RPF and want an entertaining way to learn the gist of the band's history. There's a lot of low budget biopics out there about those boys. Even I haven't seen them all yet so I wouldn't say watching them is an absolute must, though there's three iconic "gay john lennon biopics" that are entertaining bc of how genuinely gay they are: The Hours and Times 1991 (about John's relationship to Brian Epstein), Backbeat 1994 (about John's relationship to Stuart Sutcliffe), and Two of Us 2000 (about John's relationship to Paul McCartney; the most iconic and revered of all Beatles biopics).
I don't really know what other reccs to give. If anybody wants to chime in with other suggestions, go forth! There's just so much Beatles lore and it's easy to become overwhelmed by it all so definitely take your time lol. And if you ever have any specific questions about the Beatles, I'd be very happy to answer them!
Happy RPFing!
#i've actually been toying with the idea of making a complete lennon-mccartney manifesto so all the knowledge i've collected over the years#would be good for something but such a project would take so much work and i'd prob need others to help with it lol#the beatles#ask
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the fans were clamouring ( @dumbcloud asked me) for the slutty paul faves so here u go:
( @aquarianshift made this for me and i’ve been dying to use it!!)
starting with the classic. no commentary needed. you understand.
if i had a nickel for every time paul was best man at a wedding and there was a photo where it looked like he was about to go for it with the bride in front of everybody, i’d have two nickels, etc.
my brain short circuits every time i look at this. it bewitches and beguiles me. i don’t understand, but i feel the emotions.
there is a very important subcategory of slutty paul photos that i like to call, “John Lennon, I understand you.”
he had an energy on this day. the arrogant confidence.. he came in here high as balls on london’s finest cocaine and told everybody what to do probably. i would let him [redacted] me.
i believe i originally tagged this “i just know he gives good head”, and i stand by that!
i mean...
TITS!
ARMS!
“what’s slutty about this?” you might be wondering. well, you see: curl.
he knows what he’s doing.
this is another subcategory of slutty paul photos, which i like to call, “[dennis reynolds voice] it’s about the implication”. he may look like a sweet doe-eyed silent film starlet, but you and i both know he is a sex pest! he uses this look on mothers, he uses this look on daughters. he is on trial for sex pest crimes. he is meant to be going to horny jail where he belongs, but he is making this face and they are going to let him go. you keep trying to tell people he is a menace to society, but like cassandra, your warnings fall on deaf ears. he will be free to fuck again.
i have already said all i needed to say about this.
there should be kink at beatles photoshoots! (the sluttiest part of these is that it was his idea both times).
another “John Lennon, I understand you.” let he who would not risk it all for paul in india cast the first stone!
this is my favourite subcategory of slutty paul pics. i call these, “gay little outfits that paul needs to be fucked in.”
his waist... maybe i’m slut-shaming, but why are you as a man wearing a jacket that accentuates the part of your body where a possessive arm would go? omega behaviour.
linda mccartney, the woman that you are..
he’s not even slutty in this, i just want him soooooo badly 😩
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The Interview Series: Best Wrapper - Chris Evans x Reader
Summary: You and Chris sit down with BuzzFeed to wrap some presents and answer some questions
Word Count: 590
Warnings: Fluff! Dialogue Heavy!
Dividers by @firefly-graphics
Masterlist / Series Masterlist
“Oh god I’m nervous” Chris chuckles nervously as you both sit down at the table full of gifts and wrapping supplies.
“Why it's only gift wrapping” you laugh.
“Yeah but I’m terrible at wrapping so mine are gonna look like rubbish compared to yours” Chris points out laughing as he gestures to all the supplies.
“It is a competition” one of the crew calls out.
“It is!?” Chris exclaims “yeah I’m so gonna lose, gahd I hate losing”
“And that’s why we don’t play charades at family game night,” you say knowingly.
Chris just rolls his eyes “alright let's get this over with” he sighs waiting for the cue to go “Hi I’m Chris Evans”
“And I’m Y/N Evans, and we’re gonna be answering Christmas questions while wrapping presents” you smile gesturing to the table in front of you.
“I’m so gonna lose” Chris mutters again, shaking his head.
The two of you grab your first presents and begin wrapping them all up “what is your favourite part of the holidays?” A member of the crew asks.
“Uhh” you hum, brows furrowed in concentration as you wrapped “I love the cosiness of it all, there’s nothing better than getting cosy in front of the fire, snow falling outside”
Chris hums in agreement “yeah and it's the time we’re all back home and we get a long period of time with the family which is what I love”
“What is the best gift you’ve received?” The crew ask.
“Well, are we talking about recently or as a kid? Because I can remember getting a Han Solo toy as a kid and it being the best thing ever” Chris laughs.
“Yeah I’d say as a kid the first American girl doll I got was pretty special, but recently the getaway to New Hampshire was a nice gift from you,” you say looking over at Chris.
“Yeah that was fun, we should try and go again sometime” Chris agrees, shaking his hand as he got sticky tape stuck to it.
“Who is the best gift giver in the family?” The crew ask.
“Our ma’s are pretty good, I think they must work together to get everyone the perfect gift,” Chris says “goddamnit this tape” he curses shaking his hand again.
You chuckle quickly helping him out “yeah they seem to know what you need before we even realise it” you agree.
“Who’s the worst gift giver?”
“Scott” you both answer without hesitation.
“I mean that’s a bit harsh but yeah his gifts are always some form of a joke” Chris explains.
“What is your favourite Christmas song?”
“Oh that’s a tough one,” Chris says shaking his head “I mean you gotta say the classics like driving home for Christmas”
“Yeah I like the Paul McCartney one, it feels very festive, but out of the new ones Christmas Tree Farm is amazing, it feels like a Christmas movie and sounds really timeless it’s hard to believe it's not been out for decades” you answer.
The two of you continue to wrap presents and answer questions about Christmas until all the presents were wrapped. The crew have a quick look over the present before announcing the winner.
“And the winner is Y/N!” They say passing you a BuzzFeed Christmas decoration.
“Outrageous” Chris mutters shaking his head “this is just avant-garde,” he says holding up his poorly wrapped presents.
“Well considering we live together we can share it” you offer chuckling at him.
He gives you a lopsided smirk “I can live with that”
Sharing is caring so please reblog if your enjoyed it and write a comment to really make my day!
Let me know what interviews you want to see!
Masterlist / Series Masterlist
I don’t have a tag list but follow @secretswiftymarvelfanlibrary and turn on post notification to keep up to date!
#countdown to Chris-mas#NiamhWrites#theinterviewseries#Chris Evans#chris evans x reader#chris evans x y/n#Chris evans x you#chris x reader#chris x y/n#chris x you
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I was tagged by @heybulldogs to shuffle & post the first 10 songs off my "on repeat" playlist!
Thanks friend!
1.) My Alcoholic Friends - The Dresden Dolls
I mainly listen to this one because I imagine myself performing this song even though I have no musical talent but I CAN DREAM
2.) Daydream Believer - The Monkees
3.) Season of the Witch - Donovan
It's almost spooky season!!
4.) Hit That - The Offspring
I just saw the Offspring in concert and this is my favorite song by them!
5.) Your Mother Should Know - The Beatles
6.) Ever Present Past - Paul McCartney
This song has been stuck in my head for ages. Is it Paul's best song? Absolutely not, but it's that middle section that gets me.
7.) Making Flippy Floppy - Talking Heads
8.) Temporary Secretary - Paul McCartney
Now this is Paul's best song, anyone can fight me on it.
9.) Burn Your Village - Kiki Rockwell
Love songs that invoke feminine rage!
10.) Blue Jay Way - The Beatles
Now I tag @big-barn-bed @bridgeoverstrawberryfields @theclowncowboy @shehangsoutt and anyone who wants to do it! I'm always bad at tagging people or remembering urls!
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I read your tag "when Paul presented" and assumed you meant a universe where Paul has just gone through omega puberty and Jim is mortified for him and now I cannot read it any other way?? is that what you meant or was it something even more delightful
Bless you for asking this question. What I meant was something between omega puberty and a situation more unique to Paul and Jim. The inspiration being @pauls1967moustache's observation that Paul inherited his gay eyebrows from Jim.
So, what I had in mind was that one morning when Jim McCartney looks up at the breakfast table and sees his oldest son with these delicate parabolic eyebrows (on top of all the rest). And it brings back memories of being a confirmed bachelor with musical predilections, whose charm is attractive to people of both sexes. Obviously, that nonsense had to stop at some point, so when he and Mary found themselves sheltering from the bombs that night and didn't run out of conversation, the Primitive Human Need to Procreate and Start A Family™ made itself known. And thus commenced the era of messing with the eyebrows and pointing at humping dogs to put his oldest off sex.
Mike, that one never worried him. Obnoxious, loud, big mouth. Standard issue boy. Paul, on the other hand...even as a newborn, he cried in a charming way. And the eyebrows, of course...you could tell from day one, really. Jim wept as he never had before, upon being shown the shapely pink baby...because he knew that in due time, these eyebrows would bring all the boys to the yard. (Did it *have* to be that Lennon?!) And in moments of honesty, he almost, almost thinks: it should have been me.
Anyway, something like that. Mortification—and jealousy. And eyebrows. And sex and pheromones.
Epilogue:
Long grown-up and happily remarried after an admittedly messy divorce from John, Paul lives his best life. He never looked back. His eyebrows look as if he needs to work for them, but no. This is how they grow naturally, from the skin of someone who feels himself and owns their arches. They came out illegal, and now they're the world's envy.
(On a more serious note I think it's possible Jim and Paul had some weird "oldest son/real man/eyebrows?" issues going on, but...)
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The fact that people have romanticized or even sexualized your childhood trauma is disgusting. I'm genuinely so sorry that happened.
Can I tell you why I think it's important that talking about Paul McCartneys childhood trauma and it's effects on him become just as mainstreamed as talking about John Lennon's childhood trauma and it's effects on him has always been in Beatles fandom?
First, on a personal level. Have you heard of Ruby Franke, the Mormon momfluencer who has been charged with child abuse? My parents were A LOT like her and though my friends always recognized that we were "one of those" Mormon families, what they did was very normalized and justified. So, naturally, I don't like seeing abuse normalized or justified.
But more importantly on a public level. If we don't get comfortable talking about the truth of Paul's childhood and the effects of it on his thought processes, behaviors, and traits, and therefore him as a person and artist, we are going to have a flawed understanding of the Beatles music, group dynamics, and story.
Obviously none of it should be romanticized or sexualized. It needs to be taken seriously.
Yeah, I feel like that's my point.
Aside from the "it is your moral duty to hate John and if you don't you're as bad as he is" camp most people are capable of talking about John's experiences in a reasonable way, but with Paul there's a lot more resistance. I think that's partly because Paul has received a lot of undeserved criticism and hate over the years so (some of) his fans are a bit hypersensitive to anything that smacks of negativity, completely ignoring the fact that acknowledging someone's pain and trauma is not, in fact, negative or insulting (and it's arguably insulting to say that it is). And it's also probably that Paul's issues in particular are cartoonishly vilified in pop culture right now, to the point that it's almost impossible to even have a conversation about them (try talking to the average internet user about narcissism and you'll see what I mean).
But, frankly, it's also to do with deep misconceptions about the cycle of abuse and what it means to exist within it (which sounds like something you understand as well) and the savior complex a lot of people have about their faves that makes them really, really want Paul to be a poor precious kitten who just needs lots of cuddle sessions and weepy sex to fix his "issues." Which, like I originally said, is basically fine if that's what you want to do. It's essentially fiction, after all. But I wouldn't consider romanticizing abuse or infantilizing survivors to be the same thing as raising awareness around abuse, and I don't honestly think it helps us understand the group dynamic either. (I do agree that we'll never understand Paul and John's relationship if we can't accept that Paul is a human being with a past and a complex inner life just like John. That's something I've been bitching about for ages.)
I hope this isn't too nosy, but I've noticed you saying in tags that people jump on you and accuse you of "woobifying" Paul sometimes. If you're just trying to acknowledge that Paul faced trauma and deserves actual compassion and understanding then of course those people are out of line and I'm sorry that's happened, but if your idea of acknowledging this is "oh poor precious baby let me kiss it better" then, well.... You do you, but I don't think you can fairly claim there's any value in that. Yes, it's talking about abuse, but not in a way that I think we can reasonably claim is compassionate or productive.
No hate, though -- I haven't seen the posts you're referring to so idk what people are criticizing you for.
This is a really thoughtful and interesting take and I really appreciate you sending it to me.
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Hi everyone! So just a warning before you start reading this chapter. It's darker than the ones previously. Sarah and Justin do get hurt in this chapter. If you know what the last episode of season 3 of PD is about then you know why. And it also does go into some detail. Probably not as much as I think, but just to be safe.
So if you want to still know what happens without reading the greater details. Stop reading when you see Driving would always be a heavy feat for her. That’s why she almost always took the bus. But her hesitation now had nothing to do with driving so much as the seemingly abandoned parking garage she had pulled into. and pick it back up at By a stroke of luck, Ava had been coming out of a treatment room, from checking in on a frequent flier (their LVAD liked to give them complications that couldn’t be helped) when Sarah Reese and Justin Voight were brought in.
Please take care of yourselves with this chapter and happy reading!
Also, the songs I recommend for this chapter are: Blink by Revive and Leavin' by Jesse McCartney.
Rating: Explicit (Minors DNI 18+)
Summary: Blue eyes flicked down to his lover asleep once more. Her chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm. There was not a doubt in his mind that he knew Sarah. At least where it counted. He knew what kind of person she was. He knew her heart. But he didn’t know the stories of what made her heart the way that he knew it.
Word Count: 4.7k
Warnings: Sexual Content, Depictions of parental abandonment, depictions of violence, inaccurate medical procedures, and implied/references a canonical character death.
Read On AO3 | Fic Playlist | Want to be tagged when I post a Rheese story?
Hold On, I Still Want You Ch. 3
Sarah woke up with a groan as sunlight filtered through her window. She burrowed back under her covers to block it out. After her fight with Justin, she was restless and it had taken her hours to get to sleep when she got home, and it didn’t help that her bed felt too small and too cold. Spending five nights out of a week at Connor’s apartment (She was definitely not attached. A sarcastic voice laughed bitterly in her head) for the last six months had gotten her used to his queen size mattress and him wrapped around her at night like a very large heating blanket and chasing her around the bed as he pressed kisses everywhere he could reach on her body while she laughed the morning after.
She groaned again as she rolled over. Was it pathetic that she could feel his phantom kisses even now? Were phantom kisses even a thing? She wondered as she finally sat up.
Checking the time on her phone, she saw the missed call and now a voicemail from Connor. The one she missed the night before. But she dismissed them from her notifications. She couldn’t deal with that now. It was probably just him calling her to let her down gently and that could wait. Right now she needed to find Justin.
She still needed to talk to him; she promised Hank she'd try to find out what was up with his son. Besides, Sarah also felt awful about their fight when she returned to her apartment, but she thought it might be better to let Justin sleep and cool off before she apologized and tried again. Using a friend-finding app, she found him in a parking garage on the outskirts of Wacker. So she got dressed, shoved half a protein bar in her mouth, and made her way to her car parked outside.
[LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK]
Driving would always be a heavy feat for her. That’s why she almost always took the bus. But her hesitation now had nothing to do with driving so much as the seemingly abandoned parking garage she had pulled into.
What the hell was Justin doing here? She wondered as she drove deeper into the garage. Deeper and deeper she went, following the little map on her phone’s screen. Then she caught sight of his car. Pulling up to it, she put her car in park and looked around for a moment, wondering if she should get out or try and call him, before she caught sight of him coming round the corner. Her pseudo-brother was headed right for her. Only he looked off? His shoulders were hunched and drawn tightly together. While his head kept glancing to look back over his shoulder.
“Justin, what’s going-” she started to ask when he reached the window. But Justin folded his arms and cut her off before she could even finish the question.
“Sarah, turn your car back on and drive away. Now.” Justin barked the order at her harshly, through the glass pane separating them. Dumbfounded, Sarah just stared at him. “Justin…I don’t…I-”
“Now Sarah! Now! Leave!”
Glancing over his shoulder for a moment, his green eyes were wild when he looked back at her. He hit her window with a closed fist, “Sarah, please. I’ll-I’ll explain later okay? Just go. Please just drive away.”
A tingling sensation rippled through her stomach. Her hand moved to the key still in the ignition but her eyes never left her best friend. “Justin, you’re scaring me…”
“Sarah, I’ll explain it all-”
“Okay. You’re two minutes are up and you couldn’t get her to leave. So now she’s a part of this.” A new voice called out as another man rounded the corner of Justin’s car. He had the kind of voice that instantly put you on edge because of how high and slimy it sounded. And the way he looked, the way he held himself reminded Sarah so much of Charlie. She stiffened at the stark parallels she could draw from this guy to the criminal who took care of her and Erin when Bunny stopped coming home.
The man in front of her raised his arm when he was in front of the windshield, pulling her out of her flashbacks of the past. Why? Sarah stiffened because in his hand, pointed directly in the space between her eyes, was a gun.
“Justin,” she said shakily as the other man jerked his hand to the side, “Out of the car. Now or you’ll get a bullet to the head.”
She knew she should do as he said. He had a gun and it was aimed at her. He’d probably have no hesitation in pulling the trigger too. But she just sat there, eyes wide frozen in fear. Justin moved for her though.
“It’s okay. It’s okay. We’re just going to do what he says though, okay? Come on, get out of the car.” He didn’t wait for her to answer. Opening the door, he reached inside and undid her seat belt. Then he grabbed her arm gently and pulled her out of the car.
“Justin,” her voice sounded near hysterical now. Her pseudo-brother though was calm. Or at least he seemed calm as he placed himself in front of her, backing her up so her back was against the metal of her car door and Justin’s back was pressed against her chest. “Justin,”
“It’s okay. It’ll be fine. Sarah, I promise everything will be fine. Don’t look at it. Look at my shoulder for right now. It’s okay.”
But the weapon was still pointed at her. Her brother was also going to take care of that though. He held his hands up as the other man moved closer. “Hey man, point that gun at me. Not at her. You’re scaring her enough and she has nothing to do with this. This is between you and me. I-I’m going to cooperate now, okay? Whatever you want. Because I might not care for my safety but I don’t play with hers.”
The other man clicked his tongue. Sarah heard the click of the safety come off at the same time. It echoed loudly in her ears like it was the end of something. She inhaled sharply. The end of her life. Her eleven-year-old self had been partially right. The bleak thought drowned out the conversation the other man and Justin were having.
“See if that were the case, you should’ve just left Melissa alone like I told you to in the first place. Then none of this would be happening. This is your fault, Justin. All of these deaths are on you. So you can go fuck yourself and her safety.”
Maybe it was her mind just trying to cope with what was actually happening but everything seemed to happen at double speed. The other man pulled the trigger and Justin moved. He turned around, trying to push her to the ground as the gun went off. But he wasn’t fast enough. The bullet hit the back of his head. Then her best friend was dead weight as he passed out on top of her. Frozen deer-in-headlights fear paralyzed her just as much as Justin’s unconscious body did. So much fear and adrenaline were going through her that she didn’t register the pain in her neck. Or her blood that seemed to come out as if someone was crying slowly.
The man stalked forward. He gave a smile that held cruel humor, “I’m sorry sweetheart, I can’t leave any witnesses. Witnesses mean more mess for me and I can’t have that.”
Then the weapon was aimed at her again. Sarah shut her eyes when the gun went off. The shot stayed in her ears, but she didn’t feel the bullet break the skin of her neck. But she felt the blood starting to trickle out now. Though she knew what blood felt like in general, feeling her own blood coming out like this…felt different.
Then she was in and out of consciousness herself. She didn’t feel the barbed wire as it was tied to her skin, holding her wrists together. But she was barely there as he loaded her and Justin’s body into the trunk of Justin’s car.
“Don’t fight it, sweetheart. Just close your eyes and it’ll be over soon.” The man said, hovering over her face. She blinked feeling a little dazed. (Huh. He had shot her and Sarah didn’t even know his name.) The door was closed with a bang. She was alone in the darkness.
[LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK]
Sarah struggled to keep her eyes open while she tried to get the phone that lay in her pocket. Even if she knew it was futile with her hands bound together. The only thing she was doing was making the barbed wire dig further into her wrist. Still, she tried to get to her phone. But Justin’s solid mass, unmovable, unconscious body was on top of her and she could only see what was directly in front of her for fear of moving her neck. If she moved and the bullet was still inside her she could potentially paralyze herself, if it hit her spine. She couldn’t even feel the bullet inside of her with the shock coursing through her, yet she could feel the blood seeping out of the wound. It was wet and sticky. Sarah also knew it was oozing out quickly because she was dizzier than she had been just a few minutes ago when her mind had been sharp and clear.
Her eyes slid closed. But she peeled them open as quickly as her sluggish reflexes would allow her. It was important that she stay awake. For the life of her though, she couldn’t remember why now. She just knew she had to. But…maybe a small nap wouldn’t hurt. Just a small one. Besides, she was warm. So warm like a blanket was pulled over her… Surely a five-minute nap wouldn’t hurt. Her eyes slid closed as she sank into oblivion.
Sarah only said a small nap. Yet, she didn’t wake up when her phone buzzed in her pocket. Connor was calling her again, but just like last night, she didn’t answer. She couldn’t. Her phone buzzed again. Hank called her one minute then Erin called her five minutes after that.
Nor did she open her eyes when her pseudo-father and sister found her and Justin just fifteen minutes after the missed phone calls.
“5021 Lincoln: Emergency! I need two ambulances to my current location now!” Erin said into her radio. But Sarah didn’t hear that. She didn’t even hear their strangled voices as they found her and Justin’s matching bullet holes. Or the muted relief when her pseudo-father found a pulse in both of them. No matter how faint.
“5021 LINCOLN: WHERE ARE THOSE AMBULANCES? I NEED THEM RIGHT NOW!”
She stirred slightly when they loaded her in the ambulance. As hands finally came to rest on her neck to slow the blood flow. Erin’s stricken face floated into her hazy view. Her pseudo-big sister, her protector since she was five, looked as if she was about to cry. Sarah's eyes opened and shut again.
“Errr’n?” She tried to get the police detective’s attention, but it came out all slurred. Still, Erin looked down at the noise. The other woman tried to smile at the sight of Sarah awake, but even with everything so fuzzy to the curly-haired brunette woman she could tell Erin was sad. Why was she sad? Sarah wondered as a slow beeping filled the space between them.
Beep…Beep…Beep…Beep…Beep…
“You’re going to be okay, Sarah?” Erin told her, but it sounded more like a question than a sentence. Another long blink. She wasn’t okay? Why wasn’t she okay? Tears were now sliding down the woman’s cheeks, “You have to be okay, Sarah!”
“O-” Sarah inhaled but it felt heavier to breathe than usual. Then just a few minutes ago actually. Her eyes slid shut.
…Beep…Beep…Beep…Beeeeeeep…
“SARAH!” Erin cried. But Sarah couldn’t hear her.
[LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK]
By a stroke of luck, Ava had been coming out of a treatment room, from checking in on a frequent flier (their LVAD liked to give them complications that couldn’t be helped) when Sarah Reese and Justin Voight were brought in.
“Maggie? What’s going on?” Ava questioned the charge nurse as the other woman charged forward in a jog. The charge nurse wore a wary look on her face that unnerved the blonde. With the phone pressed to her ear to let Ms. Goodwin know they were almost here and signaling another nurse to join her, Maggie told her, “We have two gunshot victims two minutes out: Sergeant Voight’s son and Reese.”
“Sarah?” The surgeon questioned, not sure she had heard right. Because she must’ve heard wrong. Or Maggie misspoke… But to her horror, the nurse nodded her head solemnly. Then she caught sight of Dr. Choi over Ava’s shoulder, “Dr. Choi! You’re up! Voight’s son. The ambulance is five minutes out.”
“Who’s taking Reese?” Ava wondered, with a glance around the ED. Everyone else was busy with other patients it seemed like.
“I’ve had Dr. Rhodes paged to take care of her,” Maggie explained. Then seeing Ava’s wide hazel eyes, “He’s one of the best trauma surgeons Chicago Med has to offer. Sarah’s one of us and deserves the best.”
Ava knew that. But Ava also knew Connor’s judgment would be clouded with it being Sarah in the hospital bed. He couldn’t be trusted to make the best choice in a hard situation, should it come to that. “Maggie, Rhodes can not do it.”
“I know with it being Reese, it'll be hard on anyone. She’s one of us. But-”
“Maggie, I caught them with their tongues down each other’s throats on the roof two months ago. Sarah and Connor are together.” The blonde shook her head, cutting the other woman off as she tried to make the charge nurse understand why Rhodes couldn’t take this case.
Realization dawned in Maggie’s brown eyes. “He can’t take her case.”
Ava was nodding her head in agreement just as the elevator dinged. The blonde turned her head just in time to see the doors open. Connor Rhodes strode forward with all the authority and experience that came with being a double-certified surgeon.
“I was paged? Something about an urgent trauma?” He questioned Maggie as he came closer to where she and Maggie stood by the bay doors. Without thinking about it, the blonde acted.
“No, that was a mistake. It’s my case now. I got it.” She told him firmly. Maybe she could get him back in the elevator and headed to someplace that wasn’t here before the ambulances arrived. Then she would tell him after when Sarah was…Ava didn’t know how to finish that thought because what if Sarah Reese wasn’t going to be okay?
But before her bleak thought could go any farther, Connor broke it with a raised eyebrow at her. “You don’t usually handle trauma.”
“I am today,” Ava countered, glancing back at Maggie who held up two fingers. Shit. Shit. Shit. They didn’t have time to have this conversation if the ambulances were only two minutes out.
“But it was my specialty for-”
“Rhodes, do yourself a favor and go back to the elevators before those ambulances get here.” Ava cut him off, jumping straight to the chase because they didn’t have the time for this. But like usual, Connor didn’t listen to her. He folded his arms over his chest.
“What? Why? What’s going on? Who’s coming in?” He asked in a tone full of suspicion. The blonde didn’t answer him or even try to come up with a lie. Instead, she was now attempting to push him back to the elevators.
“Connor, I mean it. Go.” But he still didn’t move. He never listened to her, even if it was for his own good.
“Dr. Bekker, they’re here!” Maggie called as the bay doors opened and the paramedics wheeled in the first victim. Hank Voight was right behind them.
“It’s my kids,” he told Maggie, emotion clear in his voice and Ava didn’t even know him that well but even she could hear it.
“I know. Sharon called,” Maggie nodded, listening to the paramedics as they gave her the rundown of vitals and what procedures had been done in the field, “Dr. Choi!”
“He and the other victim were found in the trunk of a car,” the paramedic explained. Meanwhile, for a split second, Connor stood confused. He didn’t know Hank Voight or his son very well. He didn’t even realize the police sergeant had kids…
Who was Ava trying to keep him from seeing? Then the second victim was rolled in with Erin Lindsay struggling to keep up.
“Sarah Reese,” the paramedic announced and instantly a sudden chill came over the ED at the name of one of their own. Every single doctor and nurse who could, turned and followed the gurney as it was rolled into the treatment bay. It seemed to move in slow motion.
But meanwhile, Connor felt like cold water had been thrown over him. That couldn’t be his Sarah in that gurney. She wasn’t answering her phone, but there had to be another reason why. Right?? She was just upset with him. That couldn’t be her. He just saw her just yesterday, but to his muted horror it was her. He had just caught sight of her curls, limp and matted to her forehead with dried blood as she was wheeled past him. “GSW to the side of her neck. GCS 5. Found unconscious at first. Lost a lot of blood. Gave her one unit in the field. Briefly regained some consciousness on the way over before she coded-”
Connor’s heart dropped as he felt himself stop breathing. Coded. Sarah’s heart had stopped working. The paramedic continued as they rotated her. “-Got her back to a sinus rhythm and bagged her the rest of the way over. There’s an entry wound but no exit wound we could find.”
The medic went on to call out her vitals. But the sound was replaced by the roaring in Connor's ears because that's when he finally caught sight of her. She looked nothing like the woman who had been sharing his bed for the last six months. She was so pale, almost translucent with the only color coming from the trauma pads attached to her neck. Bright, too bright red against her ghostly white-looking neck. The same neck he had loved on till an outline of his beard could be seen because it made her laugh, the night before last. Hell, even now he could see the faint outline of his beard now.
“Whoa, Connor. Easy.” Feeling his knees buckle, he almost fell if not for two pairs of hands that reached out to steady him. (Connor didn’t look back, because he couldn’t take his eyes off of Sarah. Afraid something would happen if he looked away. But it was the Halstead brothers that caught him and held him steady)
He tried to take a step forward into the trauma bay, to start working on her case. Sarah needed him. But a hand on his shoulder stopped him. Looking up, he saw a curtain of blonde hair as his partner in CT shook her head.
“Connor, I’ve got this. I've got her. I’m going to do everything I can.” Ava promised him quietly before she made her way into the treatment room. She addressed the support staff helping her, “Get the monitor up and going. As soon as we move her, I want her up on it. She’s already coded once. We’re going to try and not to let that happen again. April, page neurosurgery and schedule a head CT and a CT of her neck where the wound is at. But get x-Ray in here before that. I want to see a general picture of where the bullet is first and if it’s moving. Okay, transfer on my count. Nice and easy. That bullet could still be in there and we don’t want to jar it,”
“Oh god,” Erin Lindsay breathed, and a side glance told Connor that she looked as stricken as he felt. Her voice caught on her next words as she shuffled forward. Connor didn’t know the detective very well. They had only had a handful of conversations, but he had never heard her voice this shrill, this frantic before. “We-we didn’t find any casings! It still could be in her! Is Sarah going to be okay!? Is she breathing? She wasn’t in the ambulance! They had to breathe for her after her heart stopped!”
“Checking now,” Doris called out.
“Come on, we need to let them do their jobs,” Goodwin said, appearing in the ED. The last thing Connor saw before his boss pulled the curtains closed, was Sarah being moved from the gurney.
“Get everyone back to the district. I want to know who did this to them.” Voight said to Detective Lindsay after he too was pulled away from his son’s room by Sharon’s insistence. His tone was low and his whole body was tense.
“Hank, we don’t-” the other woman started brokenly. She shook her head, “What if something happens? Sarah and Justin-”
“NOW!” The older man roared before he stalked off. There was a beat of silence then she started to follow after him, but Connor held out an arm to stop her.
“I’m sure Goodwin will keep Voight informed about his son. But I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be here the whole time with her.” He promised. Because he couldn’t just go back to work. Not with Sarah…Not with her hurt like she was. “I’ll get your number from Will and call you with updates.”
“You?” Erin Lindsay had tears in her eyes, but she eyed him with suspicion. There was a beat of silence and then: “I knew Sarah had been seeing a guy she hadn’t told me about yet...But I didn’t think…”
(And she hadn’t told Connor about her past with Erin Lindsay either)
The slightest change?” Erin pressed and he nodded.
“The slightest change,” Connor confirmed, tone steady and serious because he might not know who Erin Lindsay was to Sarah. But from her reaction, Sarah was clearly important to her too.
“Thank you,” she said, before hurrying after the rest of her unit with Will’s younger brother following a step behind her. A hand at her back, steadying her when she stumbled as she glanced back at…Connor wasn’t sure if she was looking at him or trying to look through him to Sarah.
[LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK] [LINE BREAK]
“You and Sarah?” Will prodded quietly, checking on his friend in between patients after Sarah had been rushed up to surgery. That had been over two hours ago. Yet Connor was still sitting here in the trauma bay she had been in, looking lost and Will didn’t know what to say to him. He didn’t know how to make it better. So the redhead settled on, “I didn’t know you two were a thing.”
A thing? A thing didn’t seem to cover what Sarah was to him.
Not when he knew just what filthy sweet nothings and exactly how to say them to get a moan out of her. Or a scream if she was really wound tight. Her back arched up to get any kind of friction she could. Not when he knew how she gave a little gasp before she saw stars. A tight inhale of air. How her nails raked down his back and she bit at his shoulder to muffle her cries of pleasure when she thought she was going to be loud enough for his neighbors to hear. (Under normal circumstances, there would be smug pride in him that she bit his shoulder quite often) Or how her skin would flush with pink when she saw the marks she had left that he didn’t dare let her apologize for. Not when his own love bites littered her skin in places only he got to see.
But it was more than just the sex too. It was how shocked she was that he was so insistent that she walked on the inside of him when they were on the sidewalk when they were coming back from or going somewhere. How his clothes swallowed her but she looked so damn gorgeous in them. It was how she chastised him for keeping it so cold in his apartment. It was how she moved in her sleep. She liked to call him the cuddly one, but she subconsciously wrapped herself around him like she was a koala bear. Or even full-on migrating so she was completely on top of him. Her ear somehow always found his heartbeat. It was how she talked in her sleep, letting him know what kind of dream she was having.
It was how she seemed to wait until he was wrapped around her and so warm in bed, about to drift off, to tell him she had to pee every. single. time.
It was how she wasn’t a morning person. But once she had her first cup of coffee, she danced around his apartment in the morning in nothing but his shirt and her underwear like she was the energizer bunny, usually using his smart speaker to play that same damn pop song (Leavin’ by Jesse McCartney his brain subconsciously supplied) after they had sex. (Though he never told her because he found it so damn amusing and he didn’t think Sarah even realized what she was doing.)
How she thought out loud because she said it helped her work through things faster than when she remained quiet. How she seemed so surprised every single time he cooked or really did anything for her in a relationship aspect.
Or the conversations they had, especially afterward. They were never anything important, but he loved how soft and open she was post their lovemaking. The lazy kisses they exchanged. How she looked the first time he asked her to come back to bed or the first time he offered her a wash rag to clean herself up. Or when he offered to do it for her. (It was like it told Claire. It made him wonder what her past relationships were like before him that she was so in awe of things he thought were the bare minimum.)
So a thing didn’t scratch the surface of what Sarah was to him. But he couldn’t very well tell Will that. Especially not the parts about her in his bed. (He really wasn’t that kind of guy to do ‘locker room talk’) And they hadn’t put a label on it and that might’ve been Connor’s bad but what had started off as just sex had transformed into a full-blown relationship and he hadn’t been with anyone else in those six months either. He hadn’t wanted anyone else. So he told the redhead with a heavy sigh, “Yeah, we’ve been together for a while.”
“Do you know why she was found in the trunk with Voight’s son?”
Wasn’t that the million-dollar question buzzing through his mind right now? But Olive, Justin’s wife, while waiting for her husband to get x-rays done, had said that it wasn’t like that with them.
“I know my husband and sister-in-law. They grew up together. Like brother and sister. Sarah is Justin’s best friend. His person, but platonically. Whatever Justin and Sarah were doing when they were hurt, they weren’t together like that.”
She had said it with such conviction and certainty. Besides, Sarah hadn’t done anything to betray his trust like that before, so he had no reason not to believe Olive. With that in mind, instead of answering Will’s question, Connor shook his head and said, “I didn’t even know she and Erin Lindsay were close.”
His best friend gave him a puzzled look. Connor raised an eyebrow, “You did?”
“The first time Jay came in after Sarah started her rotation in the ED, he seemed familiar with her. Familiar enough that I asked if he was dating her. He laughed and said even if he even wanted to, Lindsay would have his balls in a vice grip, turning blue, and cut off before he could even attempt it. He didn’t go into much detail but he said that Sarah was Erin’s sister of sorts.” Will told him with a shrug.
More questions and more answers he didn’t have.
#Chicago Med#Chicago PD#Sarah Reese#Connor Rhodes#Justin Voight#Erin Lindsay#Hank Voight#One Chicago#Voight Family Values#My writing
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Day 1 of reading Beatles RPF
On our way back home by Kathleenishereagain || 1/56
I feel like I should lay out first what I know about the Beatles.
1. They were a band in the olden days, around the 60s, I think?
2. Some of them are dead now. Some of them are not.
3. British(?)
4. Yellow Submarines.
And so, on this first day of my Beatles RPF adventure, I'm beginning with the most kudosed Beatles fic on AO3. Seemed like a good place to start. People have to like it for a reason, right? It seems to be a time travel fic where Paul McCartney (one of the alive Beatles) goes back to 1965 and. I guess he's going to do Beatles things.
It is also tagged "Paul McCartney/John Lennon", fulfilling the Beatles Yaoi part of the "getting really into Beatles yaoi" prophecy. John is one of the dead Beatles, and I know this because time-traveling Paul gets very stressed when he sees 1965 John Lennon. I've also learned that the other two Beatles are named George Harrison and Ringo Starr (and judging by how Paul reacts to seeing young Ringo, I think he's one of the alive ones as well.)
Other important things I've deduced about real life Beatles lore that will be important for reading future Beatles RPF: Paul has a wife named Nancy and a daughter named Beatrice. He was 77 in 2019, which means that in 1965, he was 23 (I think.) There is someone called Brian Epstein, who is not a Beatles but is probably important, and another guy named Neil who I know even less about than Brian. They are in England, at least in 1965.
All in all, a good chapter. I can't say I'm looking forward to chapter 2, exactly, but I'm sure that one day, I'll understand everything there is to know about Beatles yaoi.
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*SANJAY LEELA BHANSALI WOWS AUDIENCES IN LONDON AS PART OF GANGUBAI KATHIAWADI’ BAFTA CAMPAIGN!*
_The Filmmaker delivers his first ever Masterclass, at the Home of British Cinema, BAFTA_
_The world’s most prestigious Art College, Central St Martins, invites the Director for an In Conversation with students_
_Red Carpet Screening at the iconic heritage Prince Charles Cinema, London._
*LONDON, 2nd December, 2022* - Sanjay Leela Bhansali has wowed audiences in the British Capital this week, attending a series of high profile events as part of the BAFTA Awards campaign for Gangubai Kathiawadi.
The filmmaker launched the campaign by speaking at a special, BAFTA Masterclass on 28th November at the iconic home of British Cinema, discussing his career trajectory over the last 25 years. Marking the first ever masterclass the director has delivered, the full house event took place at BAFTA’s iconic Princess Anne Theatre, hosted by Rachel Dwyer, British author and former professor of Indian Cultures and Cinema at SOAS, University of London.
The award-winning filmmaker then took part in a special conversation with British film critic, Mike McCahill, for the next generation of the world’s leading creatives at Central Saint Martins, University of Arts London on 29th November. Bhansali has become the first Indian artist invited to speak at the world’s highest ranked fashion and art school, with former alumni including fashion designers such as the late Alexander McQueen, John Galliano, Kim Jones and Stella McCartney.
Attended by hundreds of students, the session took place in the eminent LVMH Theatre, where Bhansali’s focus on Fashion, Creative Direction and Costume Design in his films was explored in detail followed by a Q&A session with students.
*Sanjay Leela Bhansali also attended a special, red carpet screening of Gangubai Kathiawadi at The Prince Charles Cinema on 30th November.* The Prince Charles Cinema is the last and most famous of the independent cinemas still operating in London’s cine-famous ‘West End’. The cinema was transformed for the special evening and was attended by hundreds of fans, social media influencers and British Asian artists. *The screening was hosted in cooperation with UK Asian Film Festival.*
*Speaking about his experience of being in London, Bhansali said: “Speaking to audiences at the various events in London has been a wonderful experience for me. The BAFTA Masterclass took me back to my early days as a filmmaker. It was a thrilling experience to share my insights and interact with students at Central Saint Martins. Gangubai Kathiawadi continues to receive unprecedented love from audiences globally. I hope this love continues to pour our way.”*
The filmmaker is set to attend numerous further events whilst in London as part of his BAFTA Awards campaign for Gangubai Kathiawadi, starring Alia Bhatt. The film is being submitted for BAFTA members’ consideration in all categories including Best Film, Director, Adapted Screenplay, Leading Actress and Film Not in the English Language.
PHOTO CREDIT: The full credit for the images which should be used at all times is ‘BAFTA/Tayyib Sulaiman’, and ideally if you could ensure both BAFTA and the photographer are tagged @bafta & @sixthman.media when posting on Instagram/Twitter.*
*Photo Credit for The Prince Charles Cinemas - MOHAMMED JAVED.*
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PAUL MCCARTNEY
at the gates of his home on Cavendish Avenue, in St John’s Wood, London; September 28th, 1972.
#paul mccartney#70s paul#the beatles#*m#(cant even say anything about this other than * **** ** ***** **** ** *** ***** ****)#it's 5 o'clock#(someone in the tags said people should stop tagging this as 'daddy' and wow. i feel so sorry for you mate hope you get well soon)
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Does anyone else see the resemblance between Herman Melville and Paul McCartney?
#they’re both foxy#and I’m not much of a fan of beards#bearded Paul is hotter than pretty much anyone else who happens to be bearded#except maybe Ringo#totally looks like#does that even still exist?#it used to be on the cheezburger network or whatever it is/was called#maybe I should investigate before writing a million asinine tags#oh well#paul#mccartney#beatles#the cute one#the guy who wrote moby dick is doing it for me
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