Tumgik
#shitty gintama humour
rike-with-love · 5 years
Text
Dad issues
Summary: Sougo is reading the morning paper and enjoying yet another great morning. But then everything changes when he overhears his daughter talking about something dreadful to any father's ear. Sougo 42, Kagura 38, Souichiro 18, Kanna 16.
Pairings: Okikagu
Rating: T for bad language, humour, family fluff, mild sexual references, slightly OOC Sougo on purpose.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Gintama or it’s characters, Sorachi Hideaki does. I only own this story.
Author’s notes: I have a link to my fanfiction masterlist on my profile. Please check it out for more chapters and fics!
Dad issues
It was another great morning at the Okita household. It was Sunday and the sun was shining brightly. Okita Sougo had a day-off from work and he had planned to use it to do absolutely nothing. After his refreshing morning shower, Sougo walked to their dining area where his off-spring was about to eat breakfast.
”Good morning kids!” Sougo said with a rather cheerful voice.
”Morning,” Souichiro said without lifting his eyes from his bowl.
”Good morning dad!” Kanna said with her sweet flavoured voice, eyes sparkling as blue as her gorgeous mother's. Then she continued eating her hot sauce flavoured rice (the spirit of aunt Mitsuba was strong with her).
Sougo smiled at Kanna like a proud father he was. Then he turned his attention to his wife who was preparing more food in the kitchen behind a corner. She was wearing a pink apron over her red cheongsam, her vermillion hair was still undone and running wild all over her back. Out of their kids' sight Sougo wrapped his arms around Kagura's waist.
”Morning China,” he murmured quietly.
”Ah, morning,” Kagura said. She accepted his sweet gesture but even after years of marriage she seemed a little flustered to Sougo's great amusement. ”Stop it, the kids are right there, yes.”
Sougo chuckled against her strawberry scented hair and withdrew his hands willingly. Kagura traced her fingers softly on his arms as he pulled them away which didn't go unnoticed by Sougo.
”Well, what are you planning to do today?” Kagura asked and continued to finish up the breakfast.
Sougo stretched his arms up and exhaled deeply as he relaxed his muscles.
”Uh-huh, so nothing?”
”That's right, maybe I take a nap or five, haven't decided yet.”
Kagura laughed a little, she definitely agreed that it was healthy to just do nothing sometimes.
”How about you?” Sougo asked.
”I told you yesterday. Did you already forget?”
”Uh...no.”
Kagura turned to face Sougo and cocked an eyebrow. ”Oh?” she asked to tease him a little, he clearly didn't remember anything.
Sougo shook his head and gave Kagura a devious smile. He approached her and placed his hands on her shoulders, softly stroking her arms with his fingers. ”I know what you're going to do today.”
Kagura knew right away where this was going, but she couldn't help herself to stop him, so she played along. ”Oh yeah, tell me.”
”You're going to stay at home with me,” Sougo said and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. Then he leaned closer to her ear to whisper his indecent suggestions. ”And then...”
Kagura's face turned red from his graphic words and she muffled a gasp with her hand. But he continued to whisper everything dirty he could think of into her ear and she began to giggle with a flirty tone. Then loud coughing of their son broke the moment.
No matter how careful parents think they are with their intimate life, kids always know much more than they could ever ask for. Today Kanna was too spaced-out to hear or care about the flirtatious interaction happening in the kitchen, but Souichiro wasn't having any of it.
Kagura pushed Sougo away immediately. ”Stop it,” she hissed like she hadn't enjoyed any of his compelling ideas to the slightest.
Sougo lifted his hands up lazily and agreed with a dragged out: ”Fine.”
Kagura picked up their breakfast and went with Sougo to the dining space. As the whole family ate together, Sougo felt that everything was all right in this world, but little did he know that something was going to shatter everything to pieces later that same day.
After finishing up his breakfast Sougo grabbed a newspaper and glanced at Kagura. She just happened to be looking back at him. Kagura flashed an adoring smile at him and Sougo just couldn't resist her. He leaned to give her a soft kiss on the cheek. ”Thanks for breakfast,” he said.
Kanna and Kagura smiled at Sougo, but Souichiro on the other hand sighed deeply. ”Can you not do that, jeez...disgusting,” the young man huffed and got up from his seat. Both Sougo and Kagura were utterly stunned for a moment about their son's sudden outburst.
Sougo was a gentle father, but he knew how to discipline his kids if he ever needed to. Souichiro rushed out of the dining room without a word and Sougo was about to get up and go after him, but he was stopped by Kanna.
The 16-year-old daughter of Sougo and Kagura got up faster than her father. ”It's okay dad, I'll go check on him,” she said and skipped after her big brother.
Sougo sat back down and looked at Kagura. ”Now what the hell was that?” he asked.
”I have no idea...he hasn't lashed out like that before,” Kagura said.
”Well...he's been a bit moody lately.”
”Yeah, he has. That's why I'm bringing him with me to work today. Maybe Gin-chan and Shinpachi can cheer him up.”
”Right,” Sougo said as he remembered what Kagura had told him earlier. ”You told me about that yesterday.”
Kagura lifted an eyebrow at him. ”So you didn't remember when I asked you, hmm?”
”Ne China, I can't remember everything you tell me.”
Kagura poked his arm a bit with her finger. Then her eyes widened, blue irises staring directly at Sougo.
”What?” Sougo asked with a slightly nervous voice. No answer. ”China, what?” he repeated.
”Do you think...”
”What?”
Kagura's lips curled into a smile. ”What if he has someone he likes?”
Sougo started to shake his finger like he was totally on board. ”Yes! That would explain why he gets so uncomfortable around us.”
”Yeah-aru!”
Sougo chuckled a little. ”My boy is growing up.”
”But we can't be sure, yes.”
”Maybe, maybe not,” Sougo said and stroked Kagura's cheek with his fingers.
”Uh, am I interrupting something?” Kanna asked as she shyly entered the dining room.
Kagura turned to look at her. ”Of crouse not Kanna-chan.”
”Oh, I just thought you were talking about something important.”
”It's okay. So, how was Sou-kun?” Sougo asked.
”He's okay, it's just a little weird sometimes to see you two so...you know,” Kanna explained and seemed to be little shy of her words.
”Uh-huh...” Kagura voiced and took a closer look at the vermillion haired girl with a light blush on her face.
”I'm glad he's okay,” Sougo stated and decided to forget the whole thing even happened. Teenagers were allowed to be moody after all, even the ever polite Okita Souichiro. Sougo grabbed the newspaper from the table and whipped it open to get his lazy day going.
Kagura was still looking at Kanna with her eyes slightly squinted. Something seemed off about her and Kagura's mother senses were extremely sharp.
”Um, mom...can I talk to you...in private?” Kanna asked and fiddled with her fingers.
”Of course Kanna-chan,” Kagura said and got up from the table. Sougo was so focused on his paper that he didn't even hear the two leave.
Life had been good to them. Sougo and Kagura were blessed with two bright children, now in the tender ages of 16 and 18. Sure everything was fine now, but Sougo could remember it like yesterday when Kagura first got pregnant.
Kagura was 20 and Sougo was 24. They had been dating for a couple of years, successfully keeping their relationship hidden from everyone. Then one day, Kagura told him that she was pregnant. It was unexpected, but neither disliked the thought of starting a family.
It was a bitter-sweet experience when they told Gintoki and co. about the baby. Bitter for Gintoki who was shocked beyond belief and sweet for Sougo who watched the perm-headed samurai squirm in misery. They told Kagura how badly she had chosen a parter for herself, but she didn't care. To put it simply, they were in love, sweet icky love.
After a quick visit to the court-house, they got married. It wasn't the most romantic wedding of them all, but it was nice. For them it wasn't about the grand festivities and stuff like that, it was about becoming a family. Sougo called Kagura Mrs. Okita for the first days of their marriage as much as he could. He liked the way it sounded.
Kagura forced him to stop as the word Mrs made her feel old, so he returned to call her China or sometimes by her given name. Sougo smiled to himself in the middle of his trip down memory lane. Then for some reason the quiet conversation happening behind a corner piqued his interest.
”...but that's great Kanna-chan, yes.”
”...I think so too...I'm really excited.”
”...When are you going?”
”...We're meeting at the park in like 30 minutes.”
Kagura clapped her hands together and hugged Kanna. ”I can't believe you have a date Kanna-chan.”
Sougo's eyes widened.
”Yeah! My first date!” Kanna chirped.
The poor newspaper in Sougo's clenched fists began to crumble down.
”You should go and get ready, yes.”
Every fiber in his body began to twitch. His eye began to twitch. His hair began to twitch. He was a twitching blob.
Kanna nodded to her mother and skipped upstairs. Kagura walked back to the dining space and sat down next to the silent Sougo.
Sougo felt like his whole life was flashing before his eyes.
...a date...a date...A DATE...
He couldn't believe his ears. Was it absolutely true that his innocent little girl had a freaking date. Then something clicked in his brain. It was something that could be compared to super Saiyan transformation. His mind was screaming without end, pushing his sanity to its edge.
And then...nothing.
He was floating in space like a fetus. He was one with his mind and body. It was the purest moment of clarity that Sougo had ever experienced.
It was the moment his dad mode finally activated. It is something that every father has the second their daughter is born in to this world. The holy mode that is meant to protect the daughter, the glorious mode that is meant to guide the daughter.
Sougo finally understood Gintoki and Umibouzu and every other father in the universe. They had seen him as the foul beast that touched their daughter. He finally understood it all. As the fetus Sougo stretched out his levitating limbs his eyes popped open.
Every boy was a potential threat. All of them were after one thing and one thing only. It is a father's duty to keep the spineless slugs far away from their daughters. Then a choir of chanting Gintokis and Umibouzus were appearing everywhere.
”Bazooka all the brats!”
”Yes.”
”Taunt every boy untill they cry!”
”Yes.”
”Dad mode! Dad mode!”
”YES!”
Sougo felt a surge of power flow through his veins. He sprang up from his chair and ripped the leftovers of the newspaper into pieces. ”NO!” Sougo shouted and panted heavily.
Kagura looked at her husband who had been completely silent for the past 15 minutes. She frowned her brows and tried to figure out where to begin. ”Uh...what are you talking about chihuahua?”
Sougo glanced at Kagura. ”No! Kanna-chan is not going on a date. I won't allow it.”
”What the hell are you babbling about dummy?”
Sougo breathed roughly for a second and sported a very disturbing look on his face. Then he registered his wife's words. ”Huh?”
”She left the house already. What are you talking about?” Kagura huffed.
”But Kagura! She is too young for boys!” Sougo stated.
”Oh shut up, you don't know what are you talking about.”
”No, you don't understand. Boys her age are-”
”Zip it Sougo!” Kagura shouted over him. Now that she had used his first name, Sougo knew she meant business. ”She is a smart girl, yes.”
”Uh, yes. But-”
”No buts!” For some reason Kagura's wife/mother mode felt stronger than the freshly awakened dad mode. Maybe he just needed to level it up somehow...or learn from someone more experienced.
Sougo sat down quietly on his chair. He needed a different kind of plan to salvage his daughter's purity.
”SOU-KUN! Let's go!” Kagura shouted to their son as she took the empty dished to the kitchen. Her pink apron flew on one of the kitchen counters and her hair ornaments clipped over her quickly done buns. It was time to go to work.
”Where Kanna-chan is having her date?”
”What?” Kagura asked.
”I was just wondering if they were going somewhere nice...and public?”
”She said they were meeting at the park,” Kagura said and looked at Sougo with eyes narrow and full of suspicion. With arms crossed over her chest she sighed without a sound. She knew how stubborn her husband could be. ”Why are you asking?”
”No reason...I was just thinking. Who's the date?”
”Does it matter?” Kagura said nonchalantly. ”Sougo?”
”Yes?” he said and avoided Kagura's piercing blue eyes.
”You aren't planning on doing something stupid...right?”
”No...”
”Sougo?” she asked with the right amount of intimidation in her voice.
”No,” he said and focused to pull out the best performance of his life out of his ass. Sougo got up and walked to Kagura. He placed his hands on her shoulders and forged a solid eye-contact with her. ”I'm not, I was just interested in our daughter's first... d-(the word almost got stuck in his throat)-ate.”
Kagura's suspicions were still there despite his words. ”What about all that dumb yelling about her being too young, huh?”
”I-I just wasn't sure at first, but your wisdom has once again cleared out my brain,” Sougo sweet talked. And Kagura fell for it head first. It's amazing how much one can get away with just one compliment.
”Mmh...I am wise, yes.”
”You are.”
Kagura hummed smugly. Souichiro came down stairs and saw his parents smiling at each other once again. ”Really?”
Sougo pulled his hands back and Kagura turned to their son. ”Let's get going then Sou-kun,” she said and waved her hand towards the entrance of their house.
The mother and her 15cm taller son walked to their front door with purple and green umbrella in their respective owners hands. ”Work hard!” Sougo shouted after them.
When Kagura and Souichiro left the house, Sougo knew he had to act fast. There was no way he would allow any boy near his precious daughter. He personally knew how naive her mother had been in that age and it only made him worry even more.
First thing he realized that he needed help. After two quick phone calls Sougo ran to their front yard. Not a minute later a scooter appeared in front of the house. It was none other than Gintoki, the earth dad. Sougo and him exchanged looks of deep understanding.
Sougo was about to open his mouth, but a loud crashing noise next to their house drew his attention. A big spaceship had made an emergency landing with all sorts of alarm lights and sounds on. From the wreckage a black cloaked baldie appeared. It was Umibouzu, the baldie dad.
The three men stood in a circle and no-one spoke for a moment. They were like the holy trinity, the father, the son and the lazy perm-head. Sougo offered his hands to both of the men close by. Gintoki and Umibouzu each grabbed his hands and waited for the youngest dad to speak. ”I-I'm sorry...”
”For what Soda-kun?”
”Yes, tell us.”
”It's Kanna-chan...she has...a date.”
Gintoki and Umibouzu both felt a clenching pain in their chests. Kanna was their sweet rosy-cheeked granddaughter and she was as pure to them as Kagura herself.
”I'm so sorry...I understand everything now.”
”It's alright son, you made the right call when you summoned us here,” Umibouzu spoke.
”Yes, all you said on the phone that there was something terribly wrong with Kanna and somehow, I already knew,” Gintoki said.
”We're one, we share the heart of a dad. We feel the same pain,” Umibouzu said.
”Where is Kanna-chan now?” Gintoki asked Sougo.
”She's at the park with the boy.”
”Then we have no time to waste,” Gintoki stated.
* *
The three dramaqu- I mean, the three men went to the park as fast as Sougo's car possibly could. After parking the car at a safe distance, the men found the perfect spying spot.
They were in a bush...three grown-ass men hiding in a bush. Umibouzu in the middle, Sougo on left and Gintoki on the right.
”Alright fellas, eyes akimbo,” Gintoki said.
”Don't you mean arms Danna?”
”No, I clearly said eyes,” Gintoki snorted at Sougo like he was the dumbest being to ever exist.
Sougo turned to look at the grassy-haired samurai. Sometimes he understood clearly where Kagura got her weird catch-phrases. She and Gintoki definitely had a deep and unique father-like-daughter relationship.
”Hey! Stop that useless bantering you two!” Umibouzu ordered loudly under his green camouflage hat. Two hands slapped over the Yato's mouth from each side.
”Don't yell, baldie,” Gintoki hissed. ”
”You're going to give us away old man,” Sougo affirmed.
Umibouzu slapped both hands off his mouth and huffed a little. ”I wasn't yelling,” he ”whispered”.
”Don't you know how to whisper?” Gintoki mocked at the Yato.
Umibouzu gritted his teeth at the leaf-haired samurai. ”Of course I know how to whisper,” he hissed behind his teeth.
”Ne, baldie-”
”Both of you, shut up,” Sougo actually whispered without taking his eyes off the people at the park. Umibouzu and Gintoki turned to look at the youngest member of the dad tribe. ”Don't make me regret calling you out here,” Sougo said and quickly side-eyed the men.
Umibouzu placed a hand on Sougo's shoulder. ”You're absolutely right son, we should focus on finding our sweet Kanna-chan.”
Sougo looked at his father-in-law and gave him a firm nod.
”Oiiii,” Gintoki squealed out of nowhere. He had binoculars over his eyes and he was frantically pointing his finger somewhere. ”I can see Kanna-chan.”
”Where?” Sougo asked and tried to follow Gintoki's finger.
”I can see her too,” Umibouzu informed.
Sougo's eyes darted at the mighty Yato, who had whipped out a telescope. ”Where the hell did you pull out those things?” he asked.
”This came with the Congratz-it's-a-girl starter pack, right Umibouzu-san?” Gintoki said nonchalantly.
”You're quite correct Sakata-kun.”
Sougo rolled his eyes at the two. ”Just tell me where did you see Kan-” his words sizzled out as he saw Kanna only few meters away from them.
”You should have brought your own gear Soda-kun,” Gintoki snarled.
”Are you sure those are necessary? She's right there.”
”Of course they are, you can't spy if you can't see,” Umibouzu stated.
”Or maybe you just need glasses...” Sougo mumbled under his breath.
”NONSENSE,” both Gintoki and Umibouzu snapped at Sougo.
Kanna wasn't far away from the bush that held half of her family. She heard familiar bantering and quickly turned to check the direction of the voices. Kanna tried to look, but she didn't see anything suspicious. All three men in the bush had sharp senses and they had managed to dive deep into the leaves.
”Be quiet, do you understand?” Sougo hissed.
Gintoki and Umibouzu both admitted their error and kept their mouths tightly shut.
Sougo could still see Kanna through the leaves. She had chosen to wear one hair ornament on the left side of her head and the rest of her vermillion locks were free. Her taste in clothes was very similar to her mother's. She had chosen a long yellow cheongsam with red piping. Kanna was truly a beautiful girl, especially in her father's eyes.
Sougo snapped out of his thoughts as a boy walked up to Kanna and tapped her shoulder gently. ”Look,” Sougo said hastily to the other two in the bush. All three spread the branches a little to get a better view.
”She is such a beautiful young woman,” Umibouzu said and held back his tears.
”I agree and I don't even need my binoculars to see that,” Gintoki whispered with a proud smile.
”You still need glasses Danna...” Sougo mumbled again.
Gintoki gave Sougo a dirty look, but didn't say anything.
”Who's that?” Umibouzu asked suddenly.
”Huh?” Sougo and Gintoki asked and peeked out from the bush. A dark haired-girl joined Kanna and the boy.
”Ah, that's Kanna's friend Yunie,” Sougo explained as he recognized the familiar face.
Kanna, Yunie and the boy were happily talking about something together.
”I hope they aren't competing over the boy...that's the worst case scenario,” Gintoki said and shook his head.
”You're right, it could ruin their friendship for good,” Sougo said and nodded at Gintoki.
”No Sofa-kun...that's not the issue,” Gintoki grunted at Sougo. ”When girls are competing over something, especially boys, they'll do anything to win.”
Before Sougo could give the older samurai any reaction, Umibouzu claimed their full attention. ”Hey, they are moving,” the Yato said and whipped out his telescope again and it stuck out of the bush.
”Oi, they can see your trumpet”, Gintoki hissed. The samurai snatched the long-ass telescope from Umibouzu and glanced at Sougo. ”He's the one that needs glasses, not me.”
”If saying it makes you feel any better Danna.”
”Stop it now, they are getting away,” Umibouzu worried.
Kanna, Yunie and the strange boy were walking side by side, slowly getting further away from the tridiots (three idiots).
”EXCUSE ME!” A loud voice came from behind the bush.
All three heads popped up from the greenery and turned to look at the source of the voice. It was a middle-aged man, clearly in some sort of duty at the park.
”Now you three better get the hell out of here before I call the police.”
Sougo got up from the bush and walked to the man. ”The police eh?”
”Yes the police. I'm not going to tolerate any peeping toms in our beautiful park.”
If Sougo's mind wasn't so focused on Kanna he probably would have yielded his katana and badge at the self-proclaimed perv-outer man. Luckily for Sougo Gintoki and Umibouzu were by his side.
”We got this Sofa-kun,” Gintoki said and appeared on Sougo's right side.
Umibouzu stood by Sougo's left side and spoke to the strange man. ”We are actually conducting an important mission here.”
”I don't really care what you call your perv things, but-”
”We are not pervs, no sir,” Gintoki said.
”Then what are you-”
Gintoki and Umibouzu pulled out their binoculars and telescope like they were with-holding a heavenly power. All of a sudden the gear began to glow brighter than the stars. Sougo had to block the glowing light with his arms.
With his eyes squeezed shut, Sougo could only hear the man.
”Oh sweet Jesus...you're...”
”That's right. Like I told you, we're here on a mission,” Umibouzu said.
”Oh heavens, I'm so sorry. Please don't mind me,” the strange man said and backed away from the trio.
Sougo felt the glowing light fade away as the apparently heavenly gear was put away. ”What the hell was that?” he asked.
”We told you these were on the starter pack,” Gintoki said.
”Yes, to others these appear as normal objects but to men like us they show their true form,” Umibouzu explained.
”And that's not even their final form,” Gintoki added with a whisper.
Sougo wasn't sure was he being fooled or what, but he knew now wasn't the time to think about that. ”Okay, whatever you say,” he said and put aside his doubts. ”We should hurry and go after Kanna.”
”Yosh!” Gintoki said and Umibouzu nodded deeply. Without further delays the three began to shadow Kanna, her rival and her date.
* *
For a while the trio just walked around the park. It was a sunny day and Kanna had her yellow umbrella with her to give cover. The dad squad couldn't quite hear what the teenagers were talking about but every sweet giggle and smile made Sougo feel more alarmed.
The three men were hiding in a tall tree at the moment, pretending to be branches under the thick bush of leaves. A familiar buzzing sound of Sougo's radio phone caught his attention during their shadowing.
”Vice-commander?” a voice asked from the phone.
”What is it Yamazaki?” Sougo answered. Ah, yes. I forgot to mention. On top of his wonderful family Sougo had managed to claim the position of the vice-commander, the promotion he had been after for many years.
As perfect as everything seemed to be, there was just one problem with Sougo's position of vice-commander.
”I'm afraid I got some bad news,” Yamazaki said with a slight tremble in his voice.
Gintoki and Umibouzu turned to look at Sougo and the radio-phone. The vice-commander sighed. ”Spit it out Yamazaki, I don't got all day.”
”The commander over-ruled your order.”
”What?” Sougo asked and gritted his teeth.
”I'm so sorry...I...” Yamazaki suddenly stopped talking, but a muffled sound could be heard from the radio-phone. ”...yes he's here...you want to talk to him...okay...”
”Yamazaki, are you there?”
After a small silence someone spoke on the other end. ”Sougo, it's me. What the hell are you doing?”
Sougo inhaled as deeply as he possibly could. With a long exhale Sougo cracked his neck a little and tried to keep his cool.
”Well hello to you as well Hijikata-san...”
Ah, yes. I forgot to mention. Kondo had retired from the Shinsengumi and as his last order, he had promoted both Sougo and Hijikata. Which resulted in Sougo wanting to became the commander.
”Listen to me you brat! There is no way in hell you're taking 25 of our snipers in some secret mission at the park!” Hijikata yelled on the radio-phone.
Before Sougo could explode on the commander, Umibouzu snatched the radio phone to himself. ”Hello there commander Hijikata, it's Umibouzu here.”
”What are you doing there Umibouzu-san?”
Gintoki pulled the device closer to his mouth. ”We're on that secret mission Soda-kun needs those snipers.”
As one could guess, Gintoki's addition didn't help at all.
”Look, I don't know what the hell are you three up to, but leave the police-force out of it.”
Sougo took the radio-phone back from Umibouzu. ”You don't understand Hijibaka-san, this is an urgent matter.”
”Stop it Sougo or I'll make you commit seppuku.” Hijikata stated and turned off the connection.
Umibouzu and Gintoki looked at the defeated vice-commander of the Shinsengumi. ”What are you staring at?” Sougo snapped.
”Calm down son, we can manage just fine without the snipers,” Umibouzu said to cool Sougo off.
Sougo shrugged a little, but he felt the same as Umibouzu. Maybe...just maybe it would have been a little overboard anyway.
”Oi, they went into the café over there,” Gintoki said and pointed at a building close by. Without wasting anymore precious time the trio jumped down from the tree and sneaked closer to the café.
* *
The café had a lot of tables outside. Sougo and co. observed as Kanna and Yunie went inside the building together. The boy chose a four person table and sat down on one of the chairs. He appeared to be very relaxed, which obviously translated into arrogance. He seemed like he was on top of the world as two beautiful girls were puddy in his slimy hands.
”I think now it's our change,” Sougo said and glanced at Gintoki and Umibouzu.
”I was thinking the same thing Soda-kun,” Gintoki smirked.
With that the trio made their move. The young man was playing with his phone and didn't notice the approaching aura near him. It was straight out of a movie as Sougo, Gintoki and Umibouzu went to the table. They all simultaenously grabbed chairs for themselves, flipped them around, and sat down with elbows resting on the back of the chairs.
The boy lifted his gaze up from the phone as a deep confusion overtook his brain. None of the men said anything at first, they were just staring at him, Sougo's eyes by far the most intimidating. ”Uh...hello...” the boy asked.
”...”
”Can I help you?”
”Why yes you can,” Gintoki said.
”O-okay...”
Sougo didn't know what mode was on at the moment. It was either dad, sadist or police...he wasn't sure. Most like it was a dreadful combination of everything. His eyes were piercing the boy, successfully making him feel very nervous.
”Listen to me,” Sougo began calmly. ”I'll give you one change to do as I say.”
The boy nodded with eyes wide open.
”You're on date with my daughter and I'm not going to tolerate that.”
The boy lifted and eyebrow. ”W-what?”
”Yeah...not going to happen,” Sougo continued.
”B-but...I don't understand,” the boy said.
”It's quite simple really. And shame on you to even try to juggle with two girls at the same time...”
”Two girls? Wait...are you talking about Kanna-chan and Yunie-chan?” the boy asked.
Sougo was surprised that the boy was still talking and not running away. It was clearly time to switch off the police mode completely and go full-on sadist on him.
”You don't get to ask the questions here brat,” Gintoki said.
”But I think there's been a misunderstanding here...I-” the boy's words were cut off by Sougo leaning across the table.
The boy swallowed as two flaming eyes were digging into his. But the boy mustered up all of his courage and spoke again. ”H-hey! Don't you remember me Okita-san?”
Sougo's expression softened a little from surprise. The boy knew who he was?
”You're Kanna-chan's dad, right? You're the best swordsman of the Shinsengumi!” The boy praised with a little sparkle of admiration in his eyes.
Gintoki and Umibouzu were confused by the boy and they just sat there utterly wordless. Sougo was quite unsure of what to say next.
”Yeah! I've always wanted to become a great samurai like you, oh I'm so jealous of Kanna-chan,” the boy explained.
Sougo felt like backing down and maybe even allowing the boy to date Kanna just this once, but then his mind cleared up. Sougo wasn't that easy to fool, he was the grandmaster of manipulation. He was using compliments to throw Sougo off-guard.
Anyone who even dared to toy with two girls at the same time so vulgarly was surely the biggest manipulator of them all. Sougo chuckled a little at the boy's words. He was going to put an end to this shenanigans.
”Zip it. I know what you're trying to pull off brat.”
The boy looked at Sougo with a little horror in his eyes, unable to say anything else.
”Leave my daughter alone. You don't want to know what happens if you don't do as I say.”
The boy's lips trembled a bit as Sougo leaned a little closer. ”Let's just say that you wouldn't be the first one I made shit their pants.”
And that was enough for the boy. With a terrified scream the young man jumped up tripping once with his chair as he tried to escape the crazy samurai's wrath. When the boy made his escape Sougo sat back down.
Gintoki and Umibouzu both patted Sougo's shoulders as a warm congrats. After successfully scaring off the ”smug” boy, Sougo felt content and even proud of himself. For a moment that was.
”Yare yare, you were great Sofa-kun. His mind games were quite good,” Gintoki said.
”I agree,” Umibouzu said.
Sougo's whole body tensed up as a third hand landed on his shoulder. He knew by the pressure the owner of said hand.
”What...the hell...are you doing?” a chilling voice of Kagura asked behind Sougo.
As he has no choice, Sougo turned to look at his wife. ”What's up China?”
”You promised me that you weren't doing anything stupid, yes.”
That was the moment Sougo understood how crazy he was behaving, but that wasn't the moment he would admit that. ”I just got rid of the manipulative brat that was dating our Kanna-chan.”
”Are you talking about the sweetest boy in whole Edo? One of Kanna's best friend, Mako-kun? Hm?”
”Uuhh...” Sougo voiced.
”Come on Sougo, he and Kanna have been friends for years. For crying out loud you've seen him many times before.”
Sougo had seen all of Kanna's friends before including Mako, but for some reason his dad goggles had blurred his memory. ”That was Mako?” Sougo finally spoke.
”Yeah...and you scared the poor boy for nothing.”
”But...but...I-”
Kagura felt furious. ”But nothing Sougo, first thing tomorrow you're apologizing him.”
Gintoki and Umibouzu knew how Kagura was when she was extremely frustrated, so they both made their escape as the married ones were talking. Well...they tried to escape.
Kagura shifted her attention to Umibouzu and Gintoki. ”And YOU TWO! What sort of nonsense have you been feeding for the sadist?”
Umibouzu was standing on the table, mimicking a parasol for the table. ”Papi...there are no black parasols on other tables...I can see you, yes.”
Gintoki on the other hand was ”smarter”. He laid on the table under Umibouzu, pretending to be a tablecloth. ”And Gin-chan...there are no tablecloths here.”
Kagura closed up her huge purple umbrella and rested it on her shoulder. ”I knew instantly that something was wrong because Gin-chan had left without finishing up his parfait...”
”Don't remind me...” the tablecloth whined.
”I feel so bad for Mako-kun,” Kagura snapped at Sougo.
”But he was making Kanna-chan and her friend compete over him, that devious Mako-kun,” Sougo said but he had a hard time picturing the sweet boy who he now remembered to be doing something so rude.
”Sougo! Where did you get that from?”
”They were walking around the park together and we just assumed that Kagura-chan,” Umibouzu explained.
Kagura shook her head like she was surrounded by three big babies. ”She wasn't on a date with him...” Kagura sighed.
”Huh?” Sougo voiced, but didn't get an answer from Kagura.
She was so disappointed on all three of them. ”Now,” she calmly began and flipped her umbrella from her shoulder. Sougo knew her body language better than anyone, she was preparing for a battle stance. ”I'm gonna teach you idiots a lesson!”
Without any warnings Kagura kicked the table off the ground with Gintoki and Umibouzu flying in the air. Sougo dodged in time as his chair was kicked. The three men had no change against the fully leveled up mom mode, the queen of Kabukicho was going to whoop their ass without mercy.
* *
Shinpachi, Souichiro and Sadaharu were watching Kagura chase the dad trio across the park. ”Dad can be a little hard-headed sometimes,” Souichiro said.
”Heh...yeah,” Shinpachi agreed. ”Still, don't forget that he had two idiots ”helping” him.”
Souichiro chuckled a little and shook his head. Meanwhile Kanna and Yunie came out of the café because of the loud commotion happening in the park. Her eyes quickly spot her big brother.
”Hey Sou-kun!” Kanna chirped and waved at Souichiro. She and Yunie walked to the two straight men of the Yorozuya. ”Ah, hello Shinpachi-kun!”
”Nice to see you too Kanna-chan,” Shinpachi said and focused back on the huge dust cloud at the park.
Kanna glanced at the dust cloud and spotted half of her family out there. ”What's going on?” she asked and turned to Souichiro.
”Well, when me and mom got to the Yorozuya shop she got suspicious of Gin-chan's abandoned parfait.”
”Oh, that is truly suspicious.”
”Yeah, then we got here and...well as you can see mom found dad, Gin-chan and grandpapi scaring off Mako-kun.”
Kanna hid her face with her free hand. ”I'm so embarrassed...I'm sorry Yunie...”
Yunie turned to Kanna and patted her shoulder to ease her a little. ”Don't worry. This isn't the first time I've seen your family.”
Kanna lowered her hands and looked into Yunie's eyes. ”I'm glad you don't mind,” she said. ”But poor Mako-kun...he had been idolizing dad for as long as I can remember.”
Kanna and Yunie laugh a little together, despite everything the whole thing was silly. Yunie looked down at Kanna's free hand. As softly as she always did, Yunie brushed her palm against Kanna's. With sweet smiles they interlaced their fingers together.
Souichiro spotted the sweet affection. He lifted his gaze up and his and Yunie's eyes connect. ”Hey Yunie-chan!”
”Hey Sou-san!” Yunie greeted back.
”Nice to see that you two finally stopped hiding,” he said quite casually.
Kanna turned to look at her brother. They exchanged looks of deep understanding and love. He had known for some time already and had kept everything to himself like a good brother should.
Kagura was finally wrapping up her lesson to Sougo and co. She was lecturing both of her fathers as Sougo sat up from the grass. His eyes wandered towards the café where he saw their children. One second later Sougo's eyes registered Kanna and Yunie holding hands. ”Oh...” he simply said to himself.
* *
Sougo was sitting in his living room, it was still his day-off, it was still the same day his only daughter had gone on her first date, it was still the same day Sougo learned something completely new about his only daughter.
”You're so stupid...I hope you know that,” Kagura still scolded him.
”Yeah I know...” Sougo said without clapping back like he usually did.
Kagura stays quiet for a moment. ”Good,” she said finally.
”China?” Sougo called with a tender voice.
”Yeah?”
”Can you come here for a moment?” Sougo asked and patted his hand on the couch.
Kagura sat down next to her sort of somber husband. ”What is it chihuahua?”
Sougo pressed his fingers together, eyes locked to his lap. ”When Kanna told you about her date...did she...?” Sougo wondered.
”Did she what?” Kagura asked, but she had a pretty good idea of what he was asking.
Sougo glanced at Kagura. ”Did she tell you who she was going with?”
”She did,” Kagura answered calmly.
Before Sougo and Kagura could discuss anything further, their front door opened up. ”I'm home!” Kanna announced from the living-room.
”We're here,” Kagura answered her. Kanna followed Kagura's voice to the living-room. As soon as she appeared around the corner, both Sougo and Kagura turned to look at her from the couch.
”Well, I'll give you some privacy then,” Kagura said and walked to Kanna. She stroked her daughter's arm a little and left the room.
Sougo waited for Kanna to sit next to him on the couch. She hugged her legs tightly and looked at her father from the corner of her eye. There was an awkward silence in the air. Kanna wasn't sure where it came from, but for Sougo the reason was clear.
He hadn't known Kanna was going on a date with a girl, with Yunie. How could he know if no-one told him about it and that was exactly the reason Sougo felt a little weird.
After all the foolish behaviour at the park, Sougo had only one question for Kanna. ”Why didn't you tell me Kanna?”
Kanna turned to look at Sougo. ”Tell you what?” she asked.
”Kanna-chan.”
After a short silence and nervous movements Kanna spoke again. ”I don't know...” she knew it was a vague answer, but that was the best she could do.
Sougo tried to mold his question better. ”You told mom...so why didn't you tell me that you had someone you liked?”
Sougo knew he got carried away with the whole dad thing and it was all because of those gigantic idiots making everything worse. Gintoki and Umibouzu had been wild and free with their dad modes in their time but Sougo had something neither of the had. A voice of reason a.k.a. Kagura to out some sense into him.
Despite first feeling shocked by Kanna's date, he knew eventually he would have accepted it, dad mode or not. But, now that he learned their daughter's situation wasn't the most common one, he shook off all the dumb thoughts.
Kanna behaved really shyly. ”I didn't know how you would react...”
”Kanna,” Sougo called to get her to look into his eyes. ”I didn't know you would be dating girls and of course I was surprised at first...but I only care about your happiness.”
Kanna felt like a huge weight dropped off her heart. After Sougo's honest words Kanna felt a little stupid for ever doubting her father. He wasn't going to treat her any differently because of her sexuality.
”Now to be serious Kanna-chan, I've known Yunie for years already,” Sougo began. ”I still demand that she proofs to us, me and your mother that she is worthy of you.”
Kanna sniffled and let out a small giggle.
”Oh I'm serious,” Sougo said.
Behind a corner, Kagura listened to their whole conversation and her heart couldn't be more satisfied.
Kanna smiled for her father. ”I'll tell her your message.”
”Good...now casually could you forgive me for accidentally threatening your friend at the park,” Sougo said as casually as possible.
”I think you should tell that straight to Mako-kun,” Kanna giggled and got up from the couch. ”Is it okay if I'll go to bed now?”
”Of course.”
”Good night dad,” Kanna chirped and walked to the staircase. ”Oh, and good night mom!”
”Good night Kanna-chan,” Kagura said behind the corner.
As Kanna went upstairs Kagura came to the living-room. ”Were you eaves dropping China? Oh how rude...”
Kagura huffed and jumped to the couch. She threw herself right into Sougo's welcoming arms. ”Thank you,” she said.
”For what?” Sougo asked and stroked Kagura's hair.
”For being such a good father to our children.”
”Just doing my job,” Sougo joked and got Kagura to pinch his cheek a little.
Souichiro picked the perfect time to feel thirsty. He came down the stairs and walked in on his favourite sight, cuddling parents. ”Can you two seriously get a room?” he huffed and strode to the kitchen as fast as possible, leaving behind two laughing, happy parents.
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the-view-from-sby · 4 years
Text
I'm really sorry for Haruma Miura. I just read the note and I felt so sad, I even started to cry.
I read the news on a Facebook page of shingeki no kyojin fans. When I swipe to the comments I read some of the most disgusting and disappointing things. People were making fun of his death. Some of the comments were "he deserves it 'cause he acted in that shitty movie" referring to the live action of shingeki no kyojin. What's wrong with that people???? And some were even saying "it's black humour" that's just bullshit
Black humour IT'S NOT FUNNY, and using it as an argument for your stupidity is the worst.
I'm just so angry and sad, and been part of that famdom just hurt me.
If the movie wasn't of your personal like, that is YOU. It was a person, Haruma Miura, you know? He probably had some issues in his personal life and a movie that wasn't your like it's not a reason to make fun someone else's life, you scumbag!
I hope people can be more empathetic with this situations , specially the anime fans. There is a line between what is funny and what is a complete disgusting behaviour.
And I'm just talking about the SNK famdom, because I saw the note on others fandom pages (Gintama, kimi ni todoke , etc) and they were respectful.
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rike-with-love · 5 years
Note
i wont be holding back so im gonna ask u to answer 1-30 haha
Oh my goid girl! : D My pleasure! @hiji-katrash
2, 4 and 17 for the anime ask ? : ) @username-janai-katsura-da
Thank you for the asks guys! : 3
Anime asks because why not
1. First anime you ever watched
- Pokémon
2. First anime crush.
- Sasuke Uchiha from Naruto
3. Favorite anime character.
- Okita Sougo from Gintama
4. Least favorite anime character.
- Jiraia from Gintama
5. List all anime you have ever watched
- Pokémon, Sailor Moon, Naruto, Gintama, One Piece, Attack on Titan, Maid Sama!, Inuyasha, Sakamoto desu ga, The Devil is a Oart-Timer!, Hunter x Hunter, Boruto
6. Popular anime you didn’t like.
- At first I didn’t like One Piece, but I’ve grown to like it. It still isn’t my favorite, but I still watch it occasionally.
7. Anime you are currently watching.
- GINTAMAAA!! Waiting, re-watching, loving!, Boruto (very rarely), One Piece (Occasionally), Attack on Titan! Oh my god! It’s so good.
8. Anime character you are like the most.
- Kagura from Gintama, I feel like she is “one of the boys”, but from the inside she is reeally girly and cute, just like me : 3. Also I got her temper.
9. Favorite anime child
- Sarada Uchiha from Naruto/Boruto, such a sweetheart
10. Favorite anime animal sidekick.
- SADAHARU from Gintama!
11.  Anime you didn’t expect to like but did.
- Attack on Titan, I thought it would be too gory for me, but it just sucked me right in, I couldn’t fight it : D
12. Anime that should get more attention from others
- I’ll always answer Gintama
13. Funnest anime you have watched
- I’ll always answer Gintama, nothing will ever be as funny as Gintama’s shitty humour.
14. Saddest anime you have ever watched.
- Attack on Titan, Gintama
15. Anime you never get sick of watching.
- Gintama
16. 10 best animes you have watched.
- Well, I haven’t watched that many, but I can say my top 3
1. Gintama 2. Attack on Titan 3. Naruto
17. Biggest anime crush.
- Well...I like maaaany, so many. But my heart belongs to Okita Sougo from Gintama, he took Sasuke’s place like two-three years ago and I thought no one could overthrow him, but he did.
18.10 worst anime you have watched.
- Uh...I’ll have to skip this one, I’m very selective of what I watch, so I haven’t watched anything that bad xP Well, Boruto is sort of a let down, I’m not sure is it that necessary to continue the Naruto franchise.
19. Favorite anime ships.
- *rubs hands together and chuckles to herself
- OTP: Okikagu, they are made for each other, they complete each other in many aspects of life, I love them!
- Other ships: Sasusaku (my original otp but Okikagu overthrew them), Naruhina, Inosai, Shikatema, Luffyhancock, Gintsu, Kontae, Sakamutsu, Katsumatsu, Ereri, Inukago
20. Least favorite anime ships.
- I don’t want to wage shipwars, so I just say that I’m not feeling Ginkagu or Shinkagu because they feel like a family to me, just like Okikagu feels only like rivalry/friendship to others : ) I can respect that. Also incest ships aren’t my thing.
21. Anime that made you cry and when?
- Gintama (Sadaharu’s sacrifice...I fucking cried like a baby and screamed at my laptop, Shoguns death...I was shocked...utterly shocked)
22. Age you started watching anime/person who introduced you to it.
- I was 6 years old when Pokémon began airing as a children’s show, that’s my first step. Then I watched Naruto and Gintama on-off in my teens.
When I was 20 years old I dived into anime head first. I binged Naruto in like three months...I just ate it up. All the characters were familiar to me and I had always wanted to watch it from beginning to end. I also binged Inuyasha and ATLA (I know it’s not anime, I just love it so much!).
I had Naruto and my husband had One Piece. I wanted something to watch together and I Gintama popped into my mind (like hey! It was mad funny. I had only seen like three episodes but it stuck with me). Then we began to watch it binged it together from beginning to Farewell Shinsengumi Arc and now we are here...waiting for the end.
Also Attack on Titan is something we watch together. #bingewatch
23. Unpopular character you love.
- Uh...I don’t know. I’m a sucker for a pretty face and they tend to be the popular ones. So I don’t know : D
24. Popular character you hate.
- Hate is a strong word, but I’m not that hyped about Takasugi Shinsuke from Gintama, but I DO NOT HATE HIM! Just not my favorite : )
25. Anime you would recommend to someone who hates anime.
- I’ll always answer Gintama. For someone who hates anime, must have some sort of ideas of anime and why they hate it. Maybe some hate the ridiculous boobs or they just don’t get it. Well, Gintama doesn’t have gigantic boobs on every character and it’s okay if you don’t like anime, Gintama apparently hates every anime out there too.
Every parody is a sign of recogniziong : )
26. Manga you have read all the way to the end
- I don’t read manga but have read one called Cherry Juice
27. Anime you plan to watch in the future
- Oh my god! If I had the time I would definitely watch these:
- Yuri on Ice! (I know, shame on me for not watching it...I know), Free!, Black Butler, FMA (I’ve watched couple of episodes here and there, but not from beginning to end), Boku no Hero Academia (I already know I’m gonna love that red and white haired boy...Todoroki? And I already ship him with that black haired girl, Momo was it?), Persona 5 the anime when I find the binge time : ))), there are a lot of interesting ones out there, but here’s already quite a bunch for me (to fill the hole in my heart when Gintama ends)
28. Most upsetting moment in anime and why?
- Attack on Titan: So many horrible moments, but I SCREAMED when that one titan ate Erwin’s arm. The death of Squad Levi, The fucking first episode a.k.a. the death of Carla.
- Gintama: I got chills when Utsuro first appeared, everyone were so serious (even Sougo and Kagura, I remeber their eyes forever), the moments when Utsuro nearly killed Gintoki (first fight), Yamazaki (second fight) and Shinpachi (first fight), the moment when Utsuro’s mask broke, oh my god Gintoki’s face!!!, and when Sadaharu literally began to disappear (my heart hurts just by thinking about it), Shoguns assassination (I still can’t believe it)
29. Anime that deserves another season.
- Gintama xD hehe. I think Maid Sama! I would have loved to see it till the end. Sakamoto desu ga absolutely and The Devil is a Part-Timer! These short gems deserve so much more!
30. One anime conclusion you would change.
- Okay, I haven’t watched Bleach, BUT my husband has and for him, I would end Bleach with Aizen arc and make Ichigo and Rukia the canon couple.
- Also, Sorachi-sensei...Imma gonna have to change my answer on this one if you don’t make Okikagu canon...pretty please!
This was so much fun! Sorry for rambling a bit : D hope you enjoyed reading my opinions!
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