#shitbreak
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still on my American Pie shit (I think it's a cry for help atp but we 🆙)
#american pie#american pie stifler#steve stifler#the stifmeister#american pie meme#american pie finch#paul finch#shitbreak#god i hate them they're so.#Greahahdhjjsj#American Pie 2#american wedding#American reunion#American pie og cast
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feel like a broken record sometimes about this, but...
i am not nostalgic for many things, but i am sad that breakcore and associated genres have become quite defanged. there's a level of irreverent edginess that can sometimes veer too far for my sensibilities (where do "ironic" sentiments become legitimate and so on) but feels really formative to the genre and its sound.
i sometimes feel like trying to recapture that energy is just trying to resurrect a long-dead corpse. that type of music was already here and gone by the time i was a teenager and discovered it for the first time, but i also don't feel satisfied with the present outlets available to me
when i expressed this to my roommate though they did note that it seems the tides are shifting again on a lot of the... uptight, paranoid approaches to art that i think coincided with the reining-in of the scene. crass flirtations aren't strictly relegated to, like, channers any more. so perhaps something new will be born from it all
#indexed post#Will say that many of the presently edgy-type breakcore artists aren't people i get along with all that well#But I don't exactly expect that of them haha#Besides it's definitely a Guys thing on my end so. I might be more at peace as I understand myself better#Anyways it's like really crazy watching the transition from like 2008 splitter noise lolicore to like 2012 anime shitbreaks#to like 2014 dancecore beats#idkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk idkkkkk it should hurt to listen to
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School bathroom aesthetic.
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My last 24 hours XD Left on first leg to SLC last night only to have the fuel pump go less then half way.. tow back home.. Left early the next morning in the Lincoln, made the first leg just in time to meet up with friends for the second.. HUGE thanks to Preston for driving, managed to catch up on sleep I didn’t realize I had been lacking that badly.. Got stuck halfway through Nevada because he decided to try and go off-roading in sandy crap XD But made it safe to SLC, time to relax for the night #SLC #WTF #ShitBreaks https://www.instagram.com/p/BuxmmRdAs8u/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1wpn5bwwadkdm
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#lovenotwar #funnylikeaclown #iclownyou #jasonbiggs #shitbreak #bromance #malebonding
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TREKMATCH! # 191 - Enterprise's "Vox Sola" vs 1999's American Pie
AMERICAN PIE
A group of horny high schoolers make a pact to lose their virginity before they graduate. Like, isn't that every high school dude's goal even without a pact? Anyway, there is as you know one horrible bully they hang out with named Stifler who I'm not sure why they hang out with but shrug. There are hijinx and life lessons of course and the one dude named Shitbreak (because he won't take dumps at school) winds up sleeping with Stifler's mom which in my opinion is gross of the mom - he's a kid and maybe even a minor, lady!
GRADE: B-
STAR TREK: ENTERPRISE - "Vox Sola"
After messing up a first contact with some aliens who think eating in public is obscene a living cobweb takes over Enterprise and begs to be returned home. Begs by like wrapping up a few of the crewmembers I mean. I like the weirdo alien stuff and the fact that Hoshi is the main character in this one. On Enterprise they always have a movie night but it's never a movie that was made after 1950 - did WWIII destroy all the newer movies? Directed by B'Elanna Torres!
GRADE: B-
Victory to American Pie, putting movies up 97-94!
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Fake It
Pairing: Cjamm/You
Summary: Your best-friend asks you to fake a sex tape with him. What could possibly go wrong?
Content: Relatively SFW
Word Count: 2,496
Notes: Writing this may or may not have helped me get over a bit of a block with TDL. <;
"All I'm asking is for you to pretend."
It was absolutely ridiculous. The most incredulous idea you had ever heard. You would never - could never - even pretend. It made your self-esteem shrivel just thinking about it. Goosebumps prickled the fine hairs on your forearms. Not knowing whether the hit the infuriating man in front of you or vomit out of disgust had you staring at him in silent shock.
"All it would take would be a little clip," Ryu Sungmin said smoothly - breaking the silence and causing your heart to pick up speed. A little clip would even be too much. The thought of it alone was too much.
"You have been listening to Fucknut for far too long." It had to have been his insane labelmate that had put the idea into his head. There was no other explanation.
"Maybe, but it could help both of us. You've fallen off the face of the earth as far as the media is concerned and I need something to boost the PR on my next album. It's a win-win," he coerced, leaning across the table in excitement as you sipped on your cheap cup of Joe.
"I feel like that type of PR wouldn't exactly be good for either of us," you scolded. The entire nation would have their pitchforks at the ready. There was no way in hell what he was suggesting could possibly be beneficial in any way.
"As long as it gives everyone a reason to talk, I don't see how it could be bad."
"No! No! No!" Your raised voice had a few other eyes in the coffee shop turning towards the two of you, but you didn't care. The entire situation was ridiculous. Sungmin was crazy, absolutely crazy, and you wanted no part in his half-baked scheme. You finished your cup of coffee before standing to make an abrupt exit, eager to get away from the insanity.
"Y/N!" He exclaimed, grabbing your hand before you could make it too far from the table. "Do you want to be known as a one-hit wonder for the rest of your life?"
His words immediately struck a cord. You had been making music in South Korea's underground hip-hop scene for a few years now. It was about a year into your career you released the single that had blown up the internet and made you a hot item for all of a month. After that, your name had fallen back into obscurity just as quick. Since you refused to participate in any reality shows like the sellout that was Sungmin, it had stayed that way. Everyone knew the name of the song, but the had easily forgotten the name and the face of the person behind it. It hurt your ego more than you cared to admit.
"At least I didn't sell out only to live in Byungyoon's shadow!" Just like he had touched a sore spot, you knew you had to from the murderous look that graced his admittedly handsome features. His eyebrows knitted together and his grip on your hand tightened. At this point the two of you had attracted even more eyes, all of them curious about the interaction and no doubt even more so when they realized who the man you were arguing with was.
"I'm just going to take that as a joke," he said lightly, his normal cockiness coming back to him easily. You should have known better, Sungmin was too full of himself to let anything anyone said do too much damage. "But I wasn't joking. This could change your career."
You grunted in response, and pulled him up from his chair and outside into the bustle of the city. Evading prying eyes was much easier amongst the throngs of people. When you were safe and blending in with the passersby, you rounded on him. "Are you really so full of yourself that you think faking a sex tape with you would the epitome of my career? You're not that great."
"But I am that great," he retorted with a waggle of his neat eyebrows. "And it would. You don't have a label, you don't even have a crew but this could change all of that."
"Yeah right. I bet it could even land me a date with Lee Dongwook too, huh?" Your voice was dripping with sarcasm. How had you even become this lunatics friend in the first place?
"No, but I'm more amazing than him away," he replied with a wink.
"No!" You replied one last time before shaking free of his hand. "I have to go, douche-canoe. Tell Daewoong I'm going to fight him for this." You rolled your eyes and turned on your heels.
As Sungmin watched your retreating figure, hips swaying with sass and confidence, he couldn't help but smirk. You were stubborn as hell and usually took shit from no one but there was one person in the world who could sway you. Sungmin knew it wouldn't be long before you cracked.
"Shitbreak! Bring me another beer," you crooned the swear out as sweetly as one could. Your legs were curled under you and wrapped in a soft fuzzy blanket as your head lolled lazily against the backrest of Sungmin's sofa. Something was on the television, some late night drama that you didn't care much for. You were more focused on your phone that was clasped tightly in your hands and hidden along with your legs.
The call should have come already. It was already so late, almost midnight, but you couldn't stop the shred of hope that still remained in your heart. The music industry just worked on a different time schedule than mere mortals, right? There was still hope. Brand New Music could be giving you a call anytime soon to welcome you into their roster. Deep down you knew it wasn't true despite your forced optimism. They didn't want you. It was the same story all over again.
"Sungmin!" You half groaned-half yelled in the direction of his kitchen. Was he brewing the beer himself or something? The idiot had been gone for a minute. It was just like Sungmin. When you actually needed his excellent distraction skills he was nowhere to be found. You sighed loudly, hoping the bastard somehow heard wherever he had gone to, and sunk deeper into the couch in misery.
Sungmin, on the other hand, was up to no good. He chuckled to himself lightly as he made his back to his living room. He found you still moping in the exact spot he had left you. He did his best to put on the innocent charm as much as he could as he approached you.
You looked miserable, and he knew you were putting all your happiness on the line yet again for another label that just wouldn't work. It made him angry, at you for getting your hopes up but more so at all the labels that wouldn't even give you a chance. They were all scared of you. A one hit wonder with a unique sound wouldn't be easy to market, Sungmin knew that, but you deserved the chance. You were passionate and more talented than you gave yourself credit for, and the one thing he hated most in the world is how you always sold yourself short.
If only you would hurry up and realize that his plan could be the answer. Many celebrities had done it only to have their careers take off. It was worth the chance.
"Sungmin..." You drawled cautiously as you watched him nonchalantly approach you. You weren't easy to fool and you immediately noticed the mischievous glint in his gaze. You glared at him suspiciously as his dark eyes beamed excitedly back at you.
"Have you thought about it," he questioned, flopping down on the couch next to you.
Your glare intensified. "No. I don't need to think about it. It's a stupid idea."
"Come on, Y/N," he whined with a cuteness that he didn't use often. That was definitely not good for you. Sungmin was always the bad ass "I don't give a shit" rapper. It was rare he made any move to appear cute unless he wanted something from you. It always worked, but you couldn't let it this time.
"No," you said firmly. You had to focus on not smiling as he leaned his head on your shoulder and looked up at you through his lashes with a pout on his face. You would never admit it, but sometimes just looking at him made your heart do somersaults. Sungmin was a lot more handsome than even his immense gave himself credit for. "Stop it," you grumbled halfheartedly, attempting to push him off.
He batted his lashes at you and flashed you a smirk that made you want to knock his cocky ass down a notch. "Fine, One Hit Wonder."
Immediately your mood soured. If only looks could kill, Sungmin would have been on the ground already. "Take it back!"
"No!" His laugh was hearty as you grabbed at him with balled fist. You were angry, but he couldn't keep the smile off his face as he dodged your attempts and abandoned the couch to take off down the hall.
"Shitbreak!" You yelled at his back, discarding the comfort of your blanket to follow him. "Get back he-" you words fell short as you entered his bedroom. A video recorder was propped on his dresser and Sungmin sat expectantly on his bed. You wanted to kill him, but his commitment to his stupid plan had you flabbergasted.
"So..." He patted the bed next to him. "How about it?"
"You really are serious...!" You couldn't help the shock on your face or in your voice. You thought he would eventually just give up, but now he had put you on the spot.
"Of course I am. This could help you," he said, voice utterly serious for once. "And me."
"This is crazy!" You exclaimed in exasperation. There was no way this stupid plan could turn out well for either of you. "You know how conservative some people are. This could ruin both of us. Especially me! Fucking double standards and all that noise."
"I thought about that," he interjected your rambling with a calm that you didn't know how he could feel when he was sprouting crazy half-baked schemes. "We give them just enough to guess. No one ever has to really know for sure it's you."
You shook your head, about ready to just walk out. Would you really risk everything for the chance? Even as you questioned yourself silently, there was a nagging voice in the back of your mind that was rubbing in the fact that you really didn't have anything to loose. You had nothing. No crews or record labels wanted you. You even worked two jobs in an effort to just survive.
No! You screamed at yourself internally. It would never work. It couldn't make anything better.
"Okay," the word came out of your lips despite your brain telling you differently. You had finally flipped your lid, that was it. Apparently crazy was contiguous.
Sungmin's seriousness had suddenly vanished. He was beaming at you as he stood and crossed the room to the recorder. When his finger hovered over the button, he paused and looked back at you. You still stood rooted to the floor. "We don't have to go too far. Just a little clip: enough to look realistic."
"We are both insane", you mumbled in reply. It simply caused his smile to deepen as he pressed the record button and resumed his place on the bed. He motioned you toward. Your feet moved of their own accord as you shuffled forward. Even as it was it happening, your brain stayed firmly in denial.
When you stood right in front of Sungmin, he reached out to you and grabbed your arms to drag you forward until you were wedged snugly between his legs. "Keep your back to the camera", he whispered in your ear. His breath was warm, and his words were soft. You trusted Sungmin no matter how much the two of you bickered. He would never cause anything bad to happen to you, right?
He dropped your arms only for his rough hands to fall down your sides and lightly play with the hem of your shirt. You knew this was not the time or place, but the feeling of skin brushing against yours as he lifted your shirt over your head had all the blood in your body rushing downwards.
Calm down, y/n! It's just a natural reaction, you scolded yourself silently.
You felt the chill of the room caressing your every exposed curve as Sungmin glanced up at you. He was still smirking, his handsome features beaming up at you as he reached up to cup your face. A calloused thumb gently caressed your cheek before he was bringing your face down to his. Your eyes closed instinctively as his lips covered yours.
We're just friends. It's only natural, you repeated the mantra silently as your head swam with Sungmin. His scent surrounded you, natural yet scented lightly with a vague Cologne. The smell was familiar - he wore it all the time - but it never had your knees going weak as you involuntarily reached up to trace the stubble along his jaw. Even a single twisted piece of hair rubbing against your forehead had your body acting up in ways it shouldn't be.
Despite yourself, your tongue traced along his lips - seeking access that he granted willingly. You ended up fighting for dominance, nipping at his lower lip lightly with your teeth as your arms wrapped around his neck. You pulled him deeper into the kiss - your common sense suddenly out the window as you lost yourself in the feeling of your handsome best friend's soft lips.
Sungmin's hand fell to hips as he broke the kiss. You gasped for air, your breath coming out in little pants of repression as you felt his breath on your stomach. He left a barely there kiss right below your heaving covered breasts. You could literally feel the assholes cocky smirk against your skin as your soft pants filled his bedroom.
"That's all we need." His words should have broken whatever spell had made you momentarily loose your mind, but it didn't. As you looked down at Sungmin, his handsome features grinning up at you like the overly arrogant asshole he had the tendency to be, you knew you were in trouble - in more ways than one.
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I can’t stop thinking about what a fucking DICK Solas is for outright hating the /entirety/ of the Dalish after just meeting a few clans in the span of a single year
It’s kind of like a parent despising how their children turned out after doing a terrible job of parenting
these are ur mistakes solas. u did this.
hes just like “ummm :/ they were mean to me when i approached in my dirty apostate hobo clothing, tried to tell them their stupid face tattoos were slave markings and that they are idiots? and that their gods are shit? wtf i hate them”
the Dalish Inquisitor having to “prove him wrong” about their people is.... so. aggravating
#i love solas#he is a fantastically nuanced character with lots of flaws and redeeming qualities#but him hating the dalish just makes me laugh so much#YOU DID THIS THING YOU SHITBREAK#'ohhhh i am so openminded and wise about everything and also demons and spirits get a bad break :(((('#'completely fuck all of the dalish and qunari tho. im not even going to entertain the idea that they dont all suck'
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on my American Pie grind (I am mentally ill)
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A friend from France moved to Québec, these were his letters:
August 12:
We have just moved in our new home, in Québec.
It's so beautiful here, nature is simply majestic.
I can't wait to see it covered in snow!
October 14:
Québec is the prettiest place on earth, the leaves are in all shades of red and orange.
We went for a hike and we saw a couple deer.
What gracious animals!
They must be the prettiest animals on earth.
This place is a paradise and I love it!
November 4:
Deer hunting season starts soon.
I can't believe anyone would want to hurt such a pretty animal.
I hope it'll snow soon. I love Québec so much!
December 2:
It just started snowing.
It's the first time of the season.
My other half and myself are slowly sipping a glass of cognac near the living room window while watching the pretty snowflakes dance around while they fall, grasping to trees and covering the ground.
It's so relaxing.
December 9:
We woke up with a pristine white blanket covering all of the landscape. Fantastic!
Each tree and bush is wearing a pretty white coat.
I shoveled for the first time and had a lot of fun! I shoveled the driveway and the sidewalk.
Later, the snowplow passed by and covered the driveway with the compacted snow from the street.
The driver smiled at me and I waved at him in return.
Then I shoveled the driveway a second time.
December 12:
The sun has made almost all of the snow melt away.
I'm sure we'll have more before this wonderful winter is over.
December 13:
Half a foot of snow fell last night and the temperature dropped to -10 C.
I shoveled again, the driveway and the sidewalk.
Not long after, the snowplow passed by and made his little joke in my driveway again.
December 14:
More snow last night. I couldn't get out of the driveway to go to work.
I'm tired of shoeveling. Fucking snowplow!
December 15:
I sold the car and bought a 4X4 Blazer to be able to continue travelling in the snow.
I put 4 winter tires on it.
December 18:
I fell on my ass in the driveway because of the ice.
I had to pay the chiro $123. Thankfully nothing is broken.
Le fucking sky is getting cloudy again...
December 19:
It's balls-freezing cold this morning (-24C), roads are iced up, driving around is impossible and I hit a ramp with my wife's car.
Probably 2k worth of damage. She's fucking pissed.
December 20:
Another fucking 20 cm of fucking white shit fell last night.
Another cock-sucking shoveling day.
The motherfucking asswipe who runs the snowplow only passed by twice today!
December 22:
We're guaranteed a white christmas because another 10 cm of that white shit fell last night, again.
And with that scrote-shriveling temperature it won't melt until fucking August.
I dressed up to go shovel that shitting white shit again: boots, jump suit, earmuffs, gloves, etc.... and when I was ready, I had to pee.
December 24:
If I catch the cum-guzzling shitbreak who runs the snowplow, I'm gonna drag him by the balls in the snow for a thousand feet.
I'm starting to think that he hides at the corner of the street and waits for me to be done shoveling to rush over and throw his fucking white shit in my driveway.
December 25:
Merry Fucking Christmas.
They forecast another 25 cm of balls-fucking white shit again.
Anybody knows how many fucking shovelling motions it takes to get rid of 25 cm of snow?
Fuck Santa Claus, he doesn't have to shovel, that old fuckface!
The snowplow guy came to ask me for a donation.
I took my shovel and whacked him in his stupid fucking face.
The doctor thinks he will live.
December 28:
Another fucking shitty 12 cm.
I must be going blind cause of the whiteness of the snow, or I must be in a severe case of depression, because my wife is starting to look good.
December 29:
We finally got out of the house today.
We went to the store to buy something to eat, and on the way back, a fucking deer jumped in front of the car and I hit him. Fucking stupid ass deer!
Howcome the hunters didn't kill them all in November?
December 30:
The toilet is frozen and the roof has started to cave in.
If you go outside, don't eat the yellow snow.
December 31:
I set fire to the fucking house and I got the fuck out to Florida forever and fuck that white fucking shit.
I can't believe people are dumb enough to want to live in a fucking hell like Québec!
Regards,
François
---
Original (French) found here:
Lettre d'un ami français qui est venu passer quelque mois au Québec !
Translated by me! for my beloved, to share a good laugh. ;) <3
Hope more of you enjoy!
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Eddie. Kaye. Thomas. And. Me, #2010. #Finch. #ShitBreak. #AmericanPie. #HaroldandKumargotoWhiteCastle. #Freddygotfingered. #Scorpion. #Alexandthelist.
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