#shine on queue crazy diamond
Note
shipper communities would be more tolerable if their ships somewhat speculative but instead they like gravitating to 2 (white) characters who hate each other's guts, constantly fight, even attempt to kill each other in every iteration and continuity (successfully on multiple occasions) but since ppl are convinced that discord/anger(or even hatred) btwn men is gay love that they'll "i need a fic/art" their way into replacing the guys' actual friends in their solo projects w the guy they hate
So, I’m going to try and answer this as best I can, but I should probably start with the disclaimer that I’m a really bad person to ask about ‘the shipping community’ in general. And I don’t just mean because you can’t really ask any one person for an overview of a community that big – I mean I would be a particularly bad person to ask. As you can probably tell from my blog, my Tumblr and Twitter are basically handled by the queue. I’m off the internet for days at a time, and then tend to catch up randomly in bursts. I have a very low follower/reader count, I’m not known in the community, I interact with very few people and at irregular intervals. As such, I frequently miss trends or dramas, I’m often unfamiliar with the terms or names being used, and I acknowledge that I simply don’t have enough – or wide enough – experience, to speak to overall trends in fandom.
This is not me saying those wider trends do not exist, or that they shouldn’t be discussed – I’m simply being honest that I’m not best placed to comment on ‘fandom’ as a whole, and I can therefore only answer from my own personal experience and perspective. I accept that my own experience might not be in any way representative of anything.
However, in my own personal experience, fandom is a bit like a massive toy box in a communal play room. It’s filled with dolls, and action figures, and stuffed animals, and bricks-
And, of course, the kids in that play room don’t need any of that.
They’re more than capable of coming up with entire fantasy worlds in their heads – hell, they’ll still be imagining most of their make-believe world, when they do reach for a toy to add to it. And yet they do reach for toys to include in their make-believe worlds – and, if those aren’t available, they’re use ornaments, rocks, sticks, whatever – because that helps make the imaginary world fun, and accessible. And it’s even more fun, if you can find a friend to share that imaginary world and play with you.
And, of course, the toys in that box have specific forms – that’s what make them fun in the first place. The fact that they look like a soldier or a bride or an elephant or a cash register, or whatever prop you want to add to your story, is part of why it’s more fun to play with the doll than a brick.
But little kids know that those forms aren’t prescriptive. They understand that these are just aids to imagination and fun and connection, and there isn’t really a ‘wrong’ way to see them-
Some kids go through the box looking for inspiration, and end up playing a game about flying elephants because they liked the stuffed elephant they just found.
Some kids are just massively into dinosaurs, and they’re going through that box looking for a prop to use in that game – and, voila, the stuffed elephant becomes a woolly mammoth. And there’s a reason that kid picks the elephant and not the cash register to be the woolly mammoth, and hey, if it works for them, then they’re using the elephant right.
Of course, there are some kids who decide that the plastic pear is a hand grenade and the GI Joe is a Starbucks and the stuffed elephant is a fruit bowl – and, shine on you crazy diamond. Enjoy your game.
And, yes, sometimes you’ll get a kid try to join the dinosaur game, and get upset because that’s not a woolly mammoth, and they don’t like the imaginary world being built here… and that’s usually fine. They go and join the flying elephant game, and leave the dinosaur kids to their woolly mammoth game, and in both cases it’s just nice that these kids got to share their daydreams and have fun together. Sometimes a kid is quite happy playing pear grenade on their own, and that’s okay too.
…And, yes, sometimes one kid will whack another kid over the head with a plastic guitar, and the other kid gets hurt… And yeah, that needs addressing. Just because imaginative play isn’t a bad or unhealthy thing in and of itself, that doesn’t make it a magical bubble where harmful behaviour doesn’t matter and you can do whatever the hell you want without thought.
And, yes, there is a value to looking at the general trends in the games children play, and asking what biases they may be displaying, and where those come from – and you can do that without spoiling anyone’s game. If, one day, I have a little girl who loves Princesses, and turns every doll and stuffed animal into a Princess so that they can play their favourite game, I’m not going to see any problem in her indulging her imagination however she likes. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with her liking Princess games, per say. I am, however, going to ask myself what sort of female heroes I’m exposing her to, if I’m exposing her to a wide enough range of female stories, if we need to have a conversation about how monarchy works in real life, etc. My point is that the two things are not mutually exclusive. You don’t have to deny yourself your interests or judge yourself for having them in order to be reflective of them.
And, in case you’re wondering where I’m going with this, fandom is an awful lot like that toybox.
Our favourite media provide us with a cast of characters and a range of scenarios, all with existing forms and backstories. And we, as fans, pick through that box of toys for the ones that best fit our daydreams-
And everyone does that. Not just in fandom.
We all indulge in mindless, happy daydreams on occasion – whether it’s of a handsome prince rescuing a princess, or scoring the winning goal at the world cup, or winning the X Factor, or telling your boss to fuck off – and we all make use of existing motifs to make those daydreams.
It’s just that people in fandom are playing their game with a friend.
Now, even without knowing much about fandom at large, I can assume that people will all have different reasons for picking different toys – and that they’ll all choose to do something different with the toys they choose.
Some people will watch the show and be inspired, creating new worlds out of the characters as they exist on the screen.
Some people will come to that toy box with a specific interest in mind. They’ll be looking for the characters that best fit their favourite type of story/best fit their personal kink/best reflect how they see themselves and their struggles/best demonstrate a particular point they’re trying to make to the world – and a thousand other things, I’m sure. They’ll find the characters that best fit what they’re looking for, and let their imagination do the rest. If you’re a fan of childhood sweetheart narratives or war time romances or the concept of soul mates, you can pick Steve Rogers out of the box, pair him with Peggy, and use all that existing characterisation and backstory to build your perfect story – ignoring or rewriting parts of the canon if you want to, the way a kid rewrites a stuffed cat into a lion. Close enough. If you prefer to examine conflict or you’re turned on by the seemingly transgressive nature of kissing someone who tried to kill you, you can take that same Steve Rogers character and pair him with Loki, or Zemo, or the Red Skull – and it doesn’t really matter whether that would’ve been a terrible plot line in the actual movie, because this is your story your telling. You’re just using an action figure to tell it with friends. If you really identify with Gamora and you really want to get railed by Steve Rogers, you can write that story – it doesn’t matter that they never actually met on screen. You’re writing the story of how they met. And, maybe, getting to share it with others who want to play the game with you.
In terms of why *I* ship the characters that I do – which, as I say, is all I can really speak to – I can say, for a start, that I don’t have many ships to reflect on. I am a hyper fixator (understatement) and when I get my hooks into a ship I will focus on that, and only that, for years at a time. When I say that Steve/Tony is my only interest… I really mean that canon analysis of CACW is my only interest, and I genuinely have written the same fix it fic like nine times now.
So, the full list, from age 13 until now is – Buffy/Spike (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) Doctor/Rose (Doctor Who), Doctor/Master (Doctor Who), Steve/Tony (MCU)
Obviously, these are not all M/M ships – but I acknowledge that they are all ships involving white characters and there are no F/F ships. I happen to agree that this is the sort of thing we should all take the time to reflect on, and I don’t think that asking myself those questions means that I can’t continue to enjoy my ship. It might mean changing things about the way I engage with that ship – but only if that self-reflection leads to the realisation that I’m doing something harmful, or averse to my actual values, in which case I’d rather work it out and stop doing it. And, to be honest, I don’t think a rundown of my reflections on this issue is really an answer to the main point of your post, and I’m really not an expert in these issues, and I doubt anyone is much interested in a snapshot of my personal musings – and this is already far too long. So, I won’t go into a side ramble about all my thoughts on that-
I will say, however, that I don’t want to be doing or saying things that are harmful, and that if you or anyone else wants to raise these issues with me, my inbox is always open, and I’m happy to have that conversation in whatever format you’re most comfortable with. As it happens, I’m open to all kinds of constructive criticism on my work (so you’re also welcome to let me know if you just think the writing sucks), but I think its especially important to be open to feedback of this kind. If, for example, you believe that *I* have ever unfairly side-lined a canon character in the interest of the romance plot, I would be grateful to hear your comments – that’s not something I’m trying to do with my work, and I’d only be happy to learn better how to avoid that.
However, getting back to what I think is the main point of your post – why the enemies to lovers? And yes, with the exception of a brief dalliance with Doctor/Rose, that is what all my ships have in common – because that *is* what I’m into. That’s the game I have in mind when I go to the toy box – it’s the reason those particular action figures are going to grab my attention first. And I’m sure that the many fans of enemies to lovers have different reasons for liking that trope, and for the ways they like to see it unfold – I can’t speak to that. I can only say that, for *me*, it’s an interest in examining conflict. I like unpicking arguments, looking at the points from different perspectives, asking myself what would have changed if different things had happened, asking myself what it would take to fix it… To be honest, I’m not a hugely imaginative person. You don’t see me constructing elaborate AUs or detailed fantasies. My fics are mostly media analysis essays disguised as stories, or thought experiments using Marvel examples. Half of my fics are rated T or G, and even the E rated ones are usually 100k words of introspection and then a very vanilla sex scene. The reason *I* gravitated towards Steve/Tony is because it’s a pairing with a lot of canon material to explore, and a reasonably vague central argument that can twist into lots of different ideas…
There’s a reason I don’t have a massive readership, to be honest.
Well, a few reasons, one of which is – as you can see – I ramble. But this is the answer to your question, or as best I can offer right now
Of course, if you’d like to continue the discussion, then feel free to message again.
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#Marc Staal#Mats Zuccarello#Jimmy Vesey#New York Rangers#Picture I Took#queue are you#Ginger Staal#Zucc#Shine on you crazy diamond...head
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Tag game
Thanks for the tag @natromanxoff
1. Why did you choose your url?
It's because of the line "Now there's a look in your eyes, like black holes in the sky" from Shine On You Crazy Diamond by Pink Floyd. It hits me.
2. Any side blogs? If you have them, name them and why you have them
Ok, I have a long list.
1- @freddie-s-flower-jacket : Originaly my main was just a Queen blog, so I posted about other band there, but now I kind of mixed those two blog. So it's pretty inactive, but sometimes I reblog things from my other blogs.
2- @incorectqueenconspiracy : Started it with a friend. Some kind of conspirary who changed into incorrectquotes. Don't take it too serious.
3- @classic-rock-aesthetic : I follow the tag classic rock creations and reblog stuff. It's a place for moodboard and other kind of creations creators appreciation.
4- @souvenirdelune : I write poems and reblog dark stuff. Oh and I speak French.
5 - @daydreamsofbefore : Vintage reign
3. How long have you been on Tumblr?
A bit more than a year
4. Do you have a queue tag?
No, but I have a queue (I know, I'm evil, sorry)
5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?
Queen content
6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?
Dark glam power <3
7. Why did you choose your header?
Because of my obsession with Renaissance (+ there is a book)
8. What's your post with the most notes?
A cute pic from Ridge farm with Freddie and Roger poking (667 notes)
9. How many mutuals do you have?
Oh I don’t even know how to check this but I am sure there are many.
10. How many followers do you have?
925
11. How many people do you follow?
82
12. Have you ever made a shitpost?
Yeah.
13. How often do you use Tumblr each day?
It changes a lot. I'm on online schooling so my time got bigger, but I usually do not spend tons of time on Tumblr.
14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Who won?
I don't think so
15. How do you feel about 'you need to reblog this' posts?
Depends on the post. If it's for support to a cause (like an anti-racism post or something like that) of course I'll reblog it. But I don't really care about other stupid stuff.
16. Do you like tag games?
Of course
17. Do you like ask games?
Yes (tho it's been a long time since I did one)
18. Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?
I don't care about being famous or anything, but I'd say @soundsof71 (I never really talked to them but we're mutual. And if you're reading this, I love your blog and thank you for the great fandom contribution)
19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?
I mean I'm not even sure on wath love means.
20. Tags:
@americaspencil @annina-96 @ecle-c-tic @queenies-of-the-universe @freddie-moments @lady-ofmischief @rocknrollsoul76 @somebodytoolove @jonesyjonesyjonesy @mynameisbillandimaheadcase and just everyone
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Queue
Drabbles will all be posted shortly, the rest will be queued as normal. XO!
🎀 I Would For You - (Gottmik/Kandy Muse -GottMuse) - Flicks [D]
🎀 Be Kind, Be You (Ninex - Nina West/Monet X Change) - Flicks [D]
🎀 I Believe In You (Jinkx Monsoon/BenDeLaCreme) – Flicks [D]
🎀 Don’t Ever Let Go (Jinkx Monsoon/Ben De La Crème) – Flicks [D]
🎀 I wouldn’t Let Myself Fall/I Wouldn’t Risk It All On Love Again (Diamond Chaney) – Flicks [D]
🎀 Our Love Will Still Remain (Sasha X Johnny) – Flicks [D]
🎀 I Will Always Love You (Sasha X Johnny) – Flicks [D]
🎀 Salty & Sweet (BenDeLaCreme/Bianca Del Rio) – Flicks [D]
🎀 Fashion Baby (Fame/Gottmik) – Flicks [D]
🎀 Basic Bitch (Beautiful Bitch) (Tia Kofi/A’Whora) – Flicks [D]
🎀 Crazy Days (Manila/Katya) – Flicks [D]
🎀 Whore’s Diamond (Ellie Diamond/A’Whora) – Flicks [D]
🎀 Down with the Recipe, Bake from the Heart, multiship (2/10) - Juno
🎀 these people in this room (don't shine like you) (Diamond Chaney)- Ortega
🎀 Tree House Kisses, Chapter 41 (Adorney) - Scorpio and Veronica
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Music AU - part 3
Au where Tony Stark is a music producer & the owner of Avengers Entertainment, Peter is a multi-instrumentalist British jazz musician and War Machine is a progmetal band. In other words the starker fic in which Peter smirks a lot and Tony remains astonishingly oblivious for a long time.
PART1 PART2
Evening
Two hours and two thousand pounds later Tony is back in front of the mirror in his room and is finally satisfied. Well, the suit is not bespoke, that would have been impossible in such a limited amount of time. But it feels the best he owns, a sensation which may have more to do with why he bought it rather than where. He finishes his second drink, smooths down the front of his jacket and revels in the soft touch of the fabric. Unbidden, his mind conjures up the image of Peter’s long fingers and the way his pale skin would look against the dark charcoal of the suit.
Snapping out of his reveries, Tony feels the need of grounding himself and decides to have dinner before the concert. His desire of getting around the exhausting search for a suitable place wins out over his habit of avoiding hotel restaurants and he calls room service. The food arrives soon, and he decides to eat on the balcony despite the chilly breeze. The lights of the city are beckoning him, and the noises melt together in an excited buzzing. Tony feels anticipation course through him, the prickling of adrenaline in his veins pushing him forward despite the anxiety coiling at the pit of his stomach.
Tony watches the taxi drive away before turning around and taking the ship in. It looks just as cool as on the website and he’s not surprised to see a small queue at the entrance. He walks down the steep dock and joins the line. He wishes away the uneasy feeling settling in his chest, but his efforts are in vain. He has nothing to occupy his mind as he waits, and he starts wondering when the last time was that he had gone to a concert not for business. Then Tony reminds himself that this is business. But he can’t deny that this is something else, too and it makes him nervous.
He barely notices when he’s up. He gets his ticket, enters and puts his coat in the cloak-room without paying any attention. The exposed, naked feeling he got from Peter’s gaze that morning is back. Entering the concert hall, Tony walks straight to the bar. The velvety taste of his Islay whiskey brings him back to the present for a minute, but the smoky aroma reminds him of the chilly morning air and Peter. Shaking his head, Tony takes another sip, leans against the bar and takes in the venue.
The windows of what seems to have been originally the dining room are closed off. Tony suspects that it’s been done to achieve better acoustics. The walls, along with the old panelled ceiling are painted matte black. The copper wall lamps appear to be genuine and they create a steampunk vibe without trying too hard. Tony makes a mental note to consider this venue for Avengers’ gigs in the future. He can just imagine young Londoners going crazy for Loki’s dark post metal here. Although steampunk doesn’t really suit heavy metal, the lightning visuals of the God of Thunder would go excellently with the Steamer’s all-black interior.
His musings are interrupted when he catches Peter’s name in the conversation of a small group at the bar. A youth with their back to Tony says how much they wait to see what Peter comes up with next. Tony can’t suppress a grin, but the excitement in his chest soon turns into something more unpleasant. There may be a hundred people there already, mostly Peter’s age. Tony wonders how many of them are his friends and acquaintances. He’s surprised to recognise the emotion clawing into him as jealousy.
Not wanting to dwell on this, he finishes his drink in one swallow and starts towards the stage. Being so close to the excited crowd forming the first few lines doesn’t help changing his earlier train of thought, so Tony turns his attention to the instruments that have already been brought out to the stage. The grand piano occupies almost half of the place. The drums are set up in the back and to the right there is a beautiful reddish double bass and a stool for the player. At the centre of the stage Tony sees an alto and a soprano saxophone. He can’t help but feel a little awe-struck again, when he remembers that Peter can play all these instruments. Tony wants to see it all, but he suspects that Peter will only play one tonight. Before he can decide if he’d preferred the sight of Peter hugging the double-bass to that of his delicious fingers flying over the keys of the piano, the lights are dimmed.
Tony hasn’t noticed so many people arrive, but the cheering that erupts suggests a nice crowd. He doesn’t join in, not so much out of professionalism, but because the realisation that any second now he’s going to see Peter again hits him hard. Before he can even wonder how to prepare himself, however, Peter walks out on stage and Tony’s breath hitches. Impossibly, he looks more beautiful than Tony remembered, his expression determined, dark eyes glowing in the blue light. He wears a long white shirt reaching almost to the knees. The way it envelops his slim figure sends a shiver down Tony’s spine – a sensation that has nothing to do with professional appreciation of Peter’s sense of style.
When Peter picks up the saxophone, Tony feels something hot coil in the pit of his stomach. He tries to focus on how Peter’s holding the instrument, if it is the proper way, but when he starts to play, the last of Tony’s pretences are swept away. His usual cool and collected professionalism stands no chance in Peter’s presence. He’s immediately transported by the vibrant tune.
It feels like spring and sunlight, like being caught up in the turmoil of a busy town square, surrounded by colours, sounds, touches that fit together seamlessly, all part of one pulsating flow of life. Then the saxophone opens new paths and Tony finds himself removed from the centre of things, relaxed, breathing in the dust and the lazy afternoon sunshine as he wanders down empty streets. The sea is glistening like a myriad of diamonds at the end of the road, and Tony kneels in the sand, letting the foamy waves wash over him, cooling him, bringing him back.
Opening his eyes is like waking from a deep slumber. He has no idea how much time has passed, whether the cheering and clapping indicates the end of the first song or the whole concert. When Peter speaks, greeting the audience, Tony’s relieved to find out that it’s only the beginning. Before he signals the band to start playing again, Peter’s eyes find Tony and for the briefest moment they lock gazes. For a second the rest of the crowd disappears, and they are alone, just the two of them in their connection. Tony’s never been affected like this before.
He barely has time to recover before the first notes of the second song begin, and he’s drawn back into that dreamlike state. His eyes fall shut and after god knows how long, Tony Stark begins to dance. His whole body is attuned to the music. Every note resonates in his chest and each note flies around him, teasing him, making the soft swinging movement feel irresistible. Tony revels in the new sensations awoken by Peter.
Where he usually feels cool and empty, gentle flames now sparkle into life, warming him, dancing in his chest like fairy lights. He feels young, careless in a way he’s never been, chasing his lover around white walls in a vivid green garden, the sunlight playing tricks on his eyes, until he finally reaches him. They kiss and Tony feels tears well up in his chest, but he laughs, because it’s the most delicious thing he ever felt, almost unreal, magical.
Each song takes him to a new place. The colours, perfumes and sensations evoked by the tunes seem familiar, yet dazzlingly new, as if coming from a long-forgotten part of his soul that Peter's music somehow manages to reach. It's like breathing freely again.
By the end of the concert, Tony feels both exhausted and energised. He can't wait to find Peter. As his brain starts to function normally again, he comes up with one argument after the other to convince Peter to sign with the Avengers. He can't let him go. Peter is incredible, his compositions, his playing, his presence, all of it. All of him. Tony needs him. As the crowd slowly starts dispersing, he walks back to the bar. It doesn't take long for Peter to join him. Tony hears the congratulations he gets as he walks across the dance floor. He doesn’t turn around, but he lifts his glass in celebration as Peter slides on a stool next to him.
When he turns to face the young man, Tony aims for an appreciative expression, but he can feel that he misses by a mile. Peter’s face is flushed, his forehead covered in shining drops of sweat and the top buttons of his shirt are undone. The sight sends a wave of arousal through Tony’s body and he knows that it shows. He wets his lips and clears his throat, but it takes a second try to actually get any words out.
“You are amazing,” Tony says, wishing he wouldn’t sound so much like he was in a post-orgasmic bliss.
The playful twinkle in Peter’s eyes suggests that he knows full well what is going on inside him. He holds Tony’s gaze for a long moment before he thanks him with a genuine smile. Then, he takes a sip of his club soda. When a drop starts running down the side of the glass, he flicks out his tongue and licks it off. Tony can’t look away and Peter’s smirk tells him that the young man knows it. Tony gulps.
“Peter,” Tony begins trying to keep the raspy edge of arousal out of his voice, “I need you to understand..." Peter frowns at that and lifts his gaze, so Tony's looking him straight in the eyes when he speaks his next words. "You've made me feel things I've never felt before. Fuck, I know I sound cheap, but you see, I'm quite old for new emotions," he adds jokingly, but at the same time it hits him how painfully true it is.
"My point is that you–, your music," he corrects himself, "is incredible and the way you own the stage…” Shit. He can't make it about how sexy Peter is. He is, god yes, he is, otherwise Tony wouldn't be getting hard from those dark, attentive eyes boring into his, but Peter is not the type to be flattered into a deal. And yet... “You are perfect,” Tony finishes after a moment’s pause, getting his voice back under control. Try as he might, he couldn't sum it up any better.
Peter tilts his head slightly, bright eyes searching Tony’s face and a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Tony wants so much to lean in and kiss him, it hurts. But he can't. For one thing, it would be utterly unprofessional and for another, Peter surely wouldn't want him. It really shouldn't hurt as much as it does. And Tony certainly shouldn't dwell on it for such a long time.
“So,” Tony starts, the exact moment he sees Peter move. His heartbeat quickens with excitement, but by the time he blinks, Peter is completely still again, looking at him expectantly. Tony’s chest tightens. He’s never been so nervous about business. He swallows hard and continues. “What would you say about a deal with the Avengers?”
The change in Peter’s expression tells Tony instantly that he said something wrong.
“What?” he asks, confused. “Surely, my offer can’t be wholly unexpected…”
Shit. He hasn’t made it better.
“Well, Mr. Stark, I can assure you that your offer took me entirely by surprise.”
Peter’s mocking him, but why? What has Tony done to offend him?
“Peter?” When he hears how weak his voice sounds, Tony clears his throat. “Mr. Parker, I’m sorry if my offer doesn’t seem appealing to you. If you would let me explain, I’m sure we can agree on more satisfying terms.”
A hollow laugh is all the answer Tony gets before Peter excuses himself in a colourless tone and walks away. Tony is dumbstruck. He can’t fathom what went wrong. One minute, Peter’s gaze was open and interested, the next he looked hurt and he shut Tony out so fast, he had no chance of figuring out his mistake. Tony stares down at his hands. He has no idea what to do. If he gave up, it would be the right time to leave. But has he given up?
At least the ‘no’ in answer to that question comes without hesitation. No, he still wants Peter.
Tony stays like this for a long time, his mind foggy, his whole body numb. He tries to think but can’t come up with anything helpful. Then it hits him. He hears his own words again, as if he spoke them out loud. He wants Peter. He wants Peter, period. Tony feels his face flush in embarrassment, but he can’t fight off the grin spreading on his face, either. Shit. How could he have denied it even for a minute? How could he have said ‘Yes, he’s beautiful, but– ‘? How could he have convinced himself that it was all professional?
Well, Tony know why he felt he needed to convince himself. He would have never believed that Peter can be interested in him. His reputation is one thing, his age is quite another. He was horrified to be seen as a creepy old man thirsting over young people, abusing his power to get them and using them to make him feel young again. No, Tony’s not like that. He doesn’t need young lovers to make him forget, because he simply doesn’t mind his age.
And, apparently, Peter doesn’t mind it either. Tony tries hard to come up with an alternative explanation, but there’s no other way to see this. He recalls his own words, how he as good as confessed all his admiration and desire to Peter. And he welcomed it. The memory of his smiles makes Tony’s heart clench. It’s obvious now, what he did to offend Peter. Foolish as he is, Tony Stark practically turned down Peter Parker. He told him he was perfect and that he made him feel in a way he never had before – then went on and offered him a fucking contract. How utterly humiliating that must have felt, especially if Peter expected something else…
Tony buries his face in his hands. He must make things right.
He can’t.
Can he?
Tony has no idea, but if there’s ever a time to take a risk, then it’s now. He stands and starts walking purposefully towards the VIP entrance.
“Did you name-drop yourself to get in here?” Peter asks, half exasperated, half teasing, when he notices Tony.
“No,” he replies, taking a seat next to Peter, turning towards the young man, abashed. “I actually name-dropped you.”
Peter bows is head in mock surprise, but he seems to relent. Relieved and embarrassed at the same time Tony laughs, and his heart starts beating faster when he hears Peter chuckle too.
“So, you’re still interested, even though you can’t own my music?”
“Peter,” Tony begins for the second time that night. He pauses searching desperately for the right words to deliver his feelings. “In the last two hours you took me through space and time and showed me some magical places. And yes, it would be a dream to work with you, because you are ridiculously talented and you create true art. But when you stopped playing, I opened my eyes and I realised that it wasn't the music. It was you. It was you that I…” he pauses. He needs to get it right, to prove himself, to make up for his blindness and stupidity. “It was you that got me spellbound and I would very much wish to be with you.”
“Well then,” Peter smiles, eyes bright, voice like honey, “when is your flight back, Tony Stark?”
Tony frowns. Is that what this is going to be? A quickie before his flight? He wasn’t prepared for this answer, but what can he expect after making such a fool of himself? He swallows past the lump in his throat and answers. “Tomorrow, I guess.”
“No,” Peter corrects, shaking his head, his eyes sparkling with some new emotion. He slides off his stool and steps closer. “I meant your flight back here.”
Tony’s chest suddenly feels too tight. He laughs in relief and beams at Peter as the young man leans in to kiss him.
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i’ve never loved a music group as much as i love seventeen. i was over stanning idol groups by the time i ran into them and was focusing on university and finishing my thesis and etc, so i can’t stress enough how much each and every member are ALL extremely special to me for me to make a whole new space in my life for them. but obviously i have a favorite, and he has treated me so well since the very start, and i want to mention beforehand that this entire ...wall of text is gonna be about me as seungkwan’s fan and my personal anecdotes from seeing him at ideal cut, and not that much about the other members. it’s not that i don’t love them very much! but seungkwan is extremely special to me and he is the comforting and reliable sunlight who i want to scream to the world about.
i don't need to tell you guys how hard it is to be an international fan cos most of you all know those pains.. and i was definitely one of the carats hoping there would be some announcement for NA tour before i finally bit the bullet and decided to go ideal cut. but there's also smth else that hurts, that i haven’t explicitly shared. of all my insecurities about being a carat, i often myself particularly insecure about being forgotten by seungkwan.
i know it’s a lot to expect him or any idol to remember their all fans, that’s exactly why i don’t mention this insecurity on twitter (til now...). being forgotten by your idol is smth that i know has put people off of their biases completely. i’m lucky because boo himself a couple years ago told someone to relay to me a tiny message, so without me asking him about it, i suddenly was aware he knew for sure i existed and knew i went to see him at schedules as his fan. and i was so happy and enamored by the idea that i never wanted it to change ;;
but ofc i moved away, and i never properly talked to him in the first place (fansign is expensive and i was a full time uni student hhhh) so i have a constant worry that it’ll seem like i stopped supporting him or he will just forget completely that he has me as his fan. which again.... is totally fair and in the first place i would never even ask him if he remembers me IF i got the chance. the last time he saw me was... 2017 summer, so who knows if he remembers my face or my sign. or if he even knows my sign = me ?
i tried not to have any expectations or hopes about interacting with seungkwan during ideal cut. it’s a concert, first of all, not a meet and greet or a fansign. and i knew i might be far away or he might be on a different side of the stage, and i also knew that i wanted to just listen to him singing after a long time and experience concerts with my friends who i don’t get to see often.
but somehow, even if it’s just cos of my neon bright sign with his name on it, seungkwan sees me. he smiled at or waved to me (or even both ;;;;;) in every country i visited after he’d seen my sign and that’s so.. the chances of that happening is completely crazy. but what’s important to me is how he acted when he saw it. every single time was meaningful to me and by manila all my worries were gone.
i did get to see the boys at the airport in incheon before the concert during my layover to jakarta and even had a cute interaction outside with soonyoung ; 3; so my heart was a little more at ease the next day at the concert cos i got that “refill” of seeing them already. i spent time with dani and met a lot of carats handing out my transparent fans and i don’t remember feeling that stressed or nervous, somehow. dani and i stood against the back bar of our standing section and we had an amazing view and i finally saw pinwheel and the lights hitting seungkwan’s face and i was so ;;;; filled with awe at the end that these kids i ran into three years ago have become such amazing performers, you know?
i could write miles about each concert, how dynamic hht has become, how much joy i feel watching performance team, all the nostalgia when they all perform Adore U and the burst of energy that explodes in the venue when the boys sing Run To You like.. carats and seventeen running to each other. my heart felt so full after seeing Seventeen at their own concert after such a long time. at the end and when i was already giving up the hopes i told myself not to have, boo finally saw my sign.
he looked so HAPPY. i can’t even tell you how my heart leaps to watch the fancam of the moment he smiles at it. he just smiled so brightly and he returned the little heart i shot him after a couple seconds. i seriously watched that moment so many times because im so happy that HE smiled as big as he did ; ; he was happy cos of the sign, happy cos of dani’s and my reaction after he saw it, and.. idk how else to say it, i just want to make a blanket out of that smile ; ; im so happy that i can be the reason for his smile.
at the fansign the next day i was “meeting” him and vocal unit and i was really scared... cos i already knew it was going to be fast (and it was damn FAST...). but then, he saw my sign even before we went up to them at the tables. it’s understandable i got a shock, right ; ; he and jeonghan staring down my camera made me wonder if he recognized my sign from the previous day... and i had already been worried because i wasn’t sure what to say to them.
actually i told seungkwan i loved him twice before, once just saying it through the kbs window in 2016, and once at hitouch at diamond edge new york. but at kbs there’s no way to know 100% what he said (cos the glass..........) and at diamond edge he just... “thank you~ OHOHOHOHOHOHO” ....:D so naturally i was on the fence about saying it again. cos i thought isn’t it.. a bit redundant if i say it.. again? shouldn’t i say something more creative or meaningful? and i’m being honest that when i see all the fanaccounts that boo returns an “i love you too~” at hitouches i feel a little jealous and reluctant. but bethany kicked some sense into me right before i went up and i wanted to share it.
it’s true that i want him to know how loved he is by his fans ; ; especially after earlier this year when he admitted his insecurities about loving himself.. even if he’s been seemingly content lately i would still want him to be reassured as many times as possible. so i sucked it up and i did!!! just!!!! “hi! i REALLY love you!” at jakarta fansign.
and...........i have no idea what he said back to me cos it was too loud ^^
but it’s alright BECAUSE i got to see his pretty smile when i said it. i have no regrets about saying it! i dunno about next time (if there’s next time) but this time i was really happy that i could look him in the eyes and say tht i love him cos i DO adore him a whole bunch u___ u;;;; and although i’d have liked to express my feelings in more, accurate words, i was only in front of him for two or three seconds and that was the best thing i could have said to him, now thinking in retrospect. and gosh he was definitely tired that afternoon, but he was so so handsome ;;;; seeing him eye to eye never gets any easier.
in singapore dani and i were joined by my beloved jo! and we three were together in standing~ and shock of my life, at the end of the concert boo pointed to my sign and smiled and waved and as dani put it, once she heard me and jo screaming and freaking out it was like a “check” ; ; it’s not the first time he points to that sign in particular so i just felt.. reassured in that moment. he doesn’t smile with surprise like in jakarta, but still he’s pointing and grinning and acknowledging me and inside im like YESYESYESYESYESYE- part of it too is, this is happening and im with my friends and ; ; i know im not just imagining things, you know?
in malaysia we got $oundcheck and i didn’t say this yet but soundcheck was just as amazing for us as the concert ; ; we got to be at the front (there weren’t queue numbers so... it was a sacrifice of a lot of WAITING) and luckily, there was a pause in the music at the beginning while the boys were at the extended stage near carats. so they interacted with us a bit and! i got to wave to hansol and hosh and.. that’s when boo looks down and he saw my sign; ;;; but cos the venue was all lit up for rehearsal he actually looked me in the eyes and wave-waved calmly to me ; ; and actually.. he didn’t smile~ but he was barefaced and it’s just soundcheck after all~
i don’t think he ever waved to me without cracking a smile before so i felt a little ? when overthinking it but.. his expression was kinda nice, too ;; performing is his job after all, so just making sure he looks at me and waves during their technical rehearsal is really sweet of him, even if he’s not feeling super HAPPY or something at that moment, he took the time to acknowledge i was there. i want to stress that what i really learned over time is that boo really knows how important and meaningful it is to wave to fans and try to give individual acknowledgement when he can, even when it’s small, esp cos seventeen can’t always meet us individually.
i was at the opposite side from where i was the three other concerts in kl, and i can confidently say... boo was not on the right side much ^^~ but it was nice to pay a lot more attention to the other members, and see a different angle of all their performances!! i have no regrets being on the right side because frankly there’s some members i might have no memories of from this tour if i hadn’t been on the opposite side of boo.
next is~ manila! and manila was a dream ; ; i was with dani and many friends and we were right THERE at the bar and i hadn’t been that close to the boys at a concert.. ever. at recordings yes, and hitouch yes, but dani told me being close at concerts is different and it absolutely was. seventeen is a group that shines the most when they’re performing and concerts are where they thrive.
seungkwan is born to be on stage. he mentioned that he works hard on his expressions but, i wonder if he knows it’s more than just his hard work. the way his voice carries emotions and his body language when he feels the music he does in ways that are just so *him*. it’s the lights bouncing off his cheeks in pinwheel when he’s singing to the sky. it’s how he hits you in the heart when he belts his lines in Run To You and he’s dramatically swaying on his mic stand, and his entire aura change during Flower. when he coolly gives his ending speeches with heavy eyelids cos he’s tired but all anyone is looking at are his full cheeks and how pretty his eyes look outlined with champagne-colored glitter. his comfortable warm smiles to carats at the end of every concert and all the efforts he put in to communicate with us, to have fun with us and make each country feel special to seventeen.
habit is my favorite song from the kids. i can’t even casually listen to it because it triggers a lot of attached feelings ; ; i’d seen it four times on the tour but, only in manila i felt a tear sliding down my face. cos i was looking at seungkwan and thinking that it was my last time to hear it, and my last time watching him sing it, and suddenly i was so overwhelmed with affection for him. i was trying to listen but in my head i can only remember him doused in lights and his passionate singing and how much i'm thankful for him suddenly ; ; and also i was ... embarrassed to be crying~
when vocal unit came up to the extended stage for pinwheel i tried to hard to just listen to him ;; he was so close and i was looking up at him and seriously just ;;;;; he was the most beautiful human being i’ve ever seen in that moment. he is never more gorgeous than when he’s singing and there’s really no one like him.
when the boys performed ‘thinkin’ about you’, they interacted with fans a bit at previous stops, so i had my sign out just in case~ and when the boys walked around in a circle at the end of the song, boo looked SO CUTE cos he borrowed coups’ leader flag and was marching around with it ;;;;; idk why but that made it even more special that he saw me at that moment, and smiled at me with big eyes before walking by ;;;;;; i looked at dani and she looked at me and we shglfndjkh;fkhlfd together ;;;;;;;
during their final ment the boys sat down at the main stage to talk to carats, and boo was diagonal from my spot, so i could see him well. i didn’t hold up my sign from the start cos.. he was literally so far away i didn’t think he could see anyone beyond the fans around the main stage. but during hosh’s ment i kinda thought i had a chance and he was looking our way.. so i unfolded my sign and BAM he reacted alfdjklgjkdfls!!!
actually watching a fancam of it now, what i couldn’t tell then, is that while he was nodding he had legit raised his eyebrows at me l o l. and he just kept nodding and grinning while at the side hoshi was giving his ment, and for some dumb reason i ducked my head behind my sign in shock and in a fancam i can literally see tht he was about to look away—but doesnt ;;;; dani is next to me seeing this happen and i’m not hiding behind my sign anymore and she’s pointing at me to confirm it’s really ME and he gives a thumbs UP and im DYING AT THIS POINT.
[dani next to me: HER? HER ? OK DAMN BOO YOU’RE SO AMAZING YES OK DONE OK YES YES STILL THUMBS UP? OK-]
i made another ridiculous finger heart to him and he’s STILL NODDING ND WAVES AND GIVES ANOTHER THUMBS UP AND THEN!!! hoshi was in the middle of the stage belting his “지금 몇 시???” and the moment is over~ honestly it seemed more dramatic and long at the time but... i was seriously in awe. i don’t remember any ments after that (i didn’t even know what hosh had done until after the concert) until seungkwan started talking himself cos i couldn’t believe that happened..
the ending felt bittersweet ofc ; ; the boys were literally right THERE and they all looked so gorgeous and handsome and i wish the “aju NICE”’s could have lasted for an hour or ten... but there was still send-off.
i always have this issue where i miss a lot of the members because i start panicking looking for seungkwan... ofc the same happened now. i don’t really remember the order, but i only remember that i waved to hoshi who was first and also got to say bye to josh as he walked by, his eyes got so big and his smile was really pretty ; ; and then second to last there was boo.
like i mentioned in my tweets, he was in a cap for send-off~ and as he’s walking towards where i was i held my sign over the railing so he could see it as he approached and!! ofc he did ;; he was already smiling but he spotted it and grinned right at it and nod-nod-nodded and even pointed directly to it and istg his smile was... different once again. he literally looked like he was expecting to see it and i felt so ; ; even if he couldnt hear me i called to him that i’ll see him next year (which wasn’t *technically* true.. i went to see them at the mall the next day heh) and he was still walking by and was already even past me but!!! dani had called his name and he had looked up from my sign and was smiling really at *me* ; ; he wasnt actually last but.. i distractedly watched the back of boo’s cap until he was at the end of the tiny hall and turned into another room out of sight..
and then i was just crying behind my uchiwa. hehe.
the next day was the manila saem fansign and as everyone else said, it was damn crowded. and i was damn far away with dani. and it was so hot and loud and we were actually thinking of leaving because it was just too much... by the time seventeen arrived and were at the fansign stage i had a hard time holding my camera up, and i don’t even *have* a bazooka lense. still, i had a smaller “boo” sign dangling from my cam, and dani was holding up my lucky sign where boo could see somewhere next to my head~
i really don’t know how he can see it from so far away ; ; but he did, right before they started meeting carats for autographs. it was the same as always, i saw him seeing me first and i dropped my camera to wave and THEN i started taking pictures.. he is seriously the most patient. ever. i took precious photos of him making a “V” with his fingers and smiling at my camera and the moment he looked away in my mind i just thought.. REST.
i wish i knew how to better explain the feeling after attending their tour. it’s the first time i think i feel the word... lucky. before, at the radio and at recordings and hitouches, i just felt that my consistency going to see seventeen and specifically cheering for seungkwan made it possible for him to remember me well and acknowledge me as his fan. but at this tour, where there’s so many thousands of people and it’s hard to see everyone in the audience, and at fansigns where it was crowded or when i really thought he wouldn’t be able to see me, he still did. im lucky that seungkwan is seungkwan. i’m lucky that he’s attentive to carats, that he’s understanding and kind, and that he has FANTASTIC eyesight.
i don’t really know if he knows i’m the same fan from sukira, or if he remembered the sign from previous years’ concerts and recordings. but for me, it’s enough that by the end of the tour he could smile so comfortably at me like ; ; i’m 100% sure he remembered that.. my sign = ...me. and that makes me so happy in itself. i feel sad often that i can’t support boo as much as i used to, that i can’t cheer for him where he can hear it and that i can’t take pretty photos to share of him like before. during Oh My promotions in july, i hesitated to get a signed page from him... exactly because i didn’t want to ask something like, if he remembered me or not. instead~ i asked for him to cheer me up until i could see him again. the friend who was getting the page for me told him i was from the us, had gone to kcon japan just to see him earlier this year, and that i was going to the ideal cut stops, too.
(i’m clarifying here for anyone new~ that the trip to japan was planned with my friend from uni, and seventeen was conveniently announced for kcon after my trip was almost fully sorted. it was too perfect to not go see them * ^*)
seungkwan verbally responded to her saying it must be hard for me to go all the way there ;; in english and korean on my page he wrote thank you, and that he really wished for us to meet ;;;; and thinking back to that page some months later, it came true as much as it possibly could have.
im lucky that seungkwan is the one i came to like. because even if he doesn’t know anything about me or even my name, he knows im someone who likes him and that’s enough for him to take a moment to let me know he knows i’m there. and i know that i’m not the only fan of his he takes his time to acknowledge. every concert tour there are new fan accounts of his kindness and attentiveness, his friendly interactions with carats and people writing how much they appreciate him after seeing him in person or on stage. he’s such a special and talented individual with such a big heart and i hope that everyone can feel reassured that.. if there’s an idol who will do their best to take your love and return it tenfold, seungkwan is definitely one.
i know i mention it only vaguely but i have had such a difficult, tiresome year. i don’t feel like i’m exaggerating when i say the happiness i got from seeing seungkwan, seventeen, and most of all my friends last month is what’s going to get me through the rest of it. im not sad (yet...) that the tour is over, or that it’ll be a while until i see seventeen again. im still so ridiculously happy, and i feel motivated to work hard until the next time ; ; im not worried anymore, because seungkwan never fails to cheer me up whether i’m at a concert on the other side of the world or i’m just seeing his post on instagram on my own side. i would give him a planet’s worth of love if i could and i hope he continues to recieve praise and affection for as long as possible, for just being his wonderful self.
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Faye Wong descends from the sky (2004)
After a four year absence, Faye Wong’s "Faye Unusual" concert was held last night at the Taipei Municipal Stadium. She was secretive before the concert and the rehearsal was not made public nor was the stage design and setlist revealed. Stefanie Sun, S.H.E, Cyndi Wang and many other artists, as well as 40,000 enthusiastic fans, gathered to enjoy this concert which contained little talking and not too many gimmicks!
Faye Wong woke up at 10 o'clock yesterday morning, feeling relaxed, she ate porridge and side dishes for breakfast, and then went to the Municipal Stadium for a rehearsal. When her car passed Beining Road, she saw a long queue of fans. She said in surprise: "This is scary! Why are there so many people? Have they been waiting for a long time?" She learned that one person began lining up three days ago and she rolled down the car window to greet the fans on the spot causing a commotion.
Ear piece problem
When the concert started, white curtains fell around the stage and Faye Wong slowly descended from the air on a diamond chandelier, singing "Sky". She was like a Greek goddess and made the audience go crazy. But the concert had not started for long before she began having problems with her ear piece. After it fell, she searched for it all over her body and the audience was surprised to see her performance of "Catch the Monkey Dance". Then she said coolly in her opening remarks: "I'm glad to be back in Taipei for a concert again. The weather is a bit cold tonight. I hope it won't affect everyone's mood!"
Faye Wong successively sang more than 30 classic Mandarin songs such as "I'm Willing", "To Love", "Red Bean", "Last Blossom", and "Nostalgia". She swayed to the melodies and with her unique "Faye singing", created an atmosphere like a fairyland.
Admission was chaotic
Last night, the audience was shining with stars, including Stefanie Sun, Faith Yang, Tracy Huang, and Cindy Wang. Due to too many celebrities, the entrance to the venue was chaotic and crowded. S.H.E, who love Faye Wong, worked this concert into their schedule. Yesterday, when they entered the stadium with light sticks in their hands, they shouted: "Faye Wong, I love you!" The golden couple Matilda Tao and Lee Lee-zen also held hands sweetly and enjoyed themselves.
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SOURCE: APPLE DAILY TAIWAN // TRANSLATED BY: FAYE WONG FUZAO
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{Fanacc}170902 SHINee World 2017 ~FIVE~ Special Edition in Tokyo Dome
Minho is soooooo much more hype than usual rn and it's really no mystery as to why. Bless him we don't deserve him. [ cr:keys_knees ]
*Taemin's hair was too messy and the fans started laughing! Minho went over and tidied it for him
They are doing Lucifer with 4 very young dancers!!!!! Super nice
Yes, they are doing the stages with 4 members but Onew's part remains (music). Only for certain songs, a dancer will stand-in for Onew
SHINee's selective predebut/debut pics/after debut pics are showing over the VCR
SHINee are on a SHINee bus and going around the dome (shooting their signed coloured balls
Minho is looking so cute like a little boy in the cap and denim top (that looks like a raincoat!)
During Your Number, Minho was the one who ended and dialed a number. He went "SHINee World , (we/i) really like you!"
SHINee says this is the first time they are gonna perform "Tell me Your name" (and minho pretended to be very nervous)
There's this "bunch/strands" of taemin's hair that keeps "standing" up so the members teased him : "is this your keypoint today?"
Key pointed to the fans and then went "muacks"
The four of them are holding hands a while ago and walked together to thank the fans *awwwww*
Them : we hope that we will come back to the stage very soon as 5 members
Key seems to be holding back his tears. Can't bear to see his face like this [ cr:minhoclove]
the main stage just picked itself up and rolled all the way to the back of the stadium wtf wtf
taemin's hair was sticking straight up and minho fixed it
the little kids from the JAT vcr are on stage dancing to lucifer with SHINee
when SHINee came out the screen split in half horizontally and SHINee were on a platform that came out from behind and lowered down it was really high up
it's really hot in the dome SHINee are drenched lol seriously key flipped his hair and sweat went flying OTL
minho tossed the prop cup to taemin and he totally failed at catching it and it went flying during your number
key almost fell during his chair move during your number again... he didn't, but almost did he was laughing after
the tell me your name choreo is sexy omfg omfg rip there are cameras in the stage pointed up at SHINee and they are thrusting towards the stage (and the cameras)
SHINee really worked so hard to pull this concert together and they gave it their 110% despite the circumstance, i'm so thankful and proud
The concert was such a roller coaster ride of emotions... Tell Me Your Name will haunt me forever.. and i'll see it again tomorrow [ cr: keyoemi ]
Everyone screaming for Onew so loud when he's on the screen
Minho being extra lol Love it
They're showing OLD photo shoot footage while they talk about each member
During Juilete Minho was playing around with the band too. So cute & Key and Taemin were playing with each other XD
Minho is making fun of the way Jjong talks AGAIN LOL
Minho covered some of Onew's lines!
MINHO WAS AMAZING. WHAT EVEN. GET IT FLAMING CHARISMA. Minho is giving hearts like crazy
They showed Minho's face when Taemin was talking. He looked totally confused LOL
Key and Minho started singing and dancing to All Night as they left the stage Lol
Taemin and Jonghyun took off their jackets! Sleeveless shirts
NEW VERSION OF KEEPING LOVE AGAIN. Minho had an extra rap?
Jinki is in the ending practice video [ cr: @justrolyn ]
Jjong mentioned Onews name but rly just stated he wasn't there. They don't cover his parts and ther a lots of vcr with him too
There's a backup dancer for Onews part during Sherlock
The most important fact for today's dome: Key cried in the end because of sadness. Not happiness. They were SAD. Genuinely sad. [ cr: @Myuux2 ]
At the end of Diamond Sky the camera showed a fanboard saying "SHINee FOREVER
Minho did his best today to make us laugh, he was showering everyone with love, throwing even more hearts and smiles than ever! ♡
Tell Me Your Name was definitely the highlight of this concert. They started on the floor, then took off their jsckets showing low V cuts.
During one ment Taemin tried to say something but was struggling with words and he looked so cute that Minho hugged him XD
Key and Minho danced a bit of SNSD's All Night during MTTM dance break and at the end XD [ cr: @anneaviel ]
I cant stop crying when i hear Jinki's voice n the members were so emo during Melody
They are always leaving a space on the stage for Jinki
For ABOAB, we were facing Jinki's placeand it was empty
Makes me emo cz they left a gap where Jinki stands and no one covered for his voice.. it was there loud n clear but only he wasn't there
During Melody idk i think all the members got emo u could see it in their face n Key really emphasized the line "keep waiting for u
But the 4babies really gave in 200% to make up for Jinki .. i am sure Jinki will be so proud [ cr: RealUnkle1932 ]
Minho was so cute and did a lot of aegyo. Key was sexy as hell. Jjong was so passionate about signing.
Tell Me Your Name is extremely epic. And sexy. And Taemin was too much to survive.
Today's queueing was extreme. My first time and I understood how hard is to get goods. [ cr: RealKasik91 ]
the bond between shinee and shinee world just makes me cry so hard
MINHO TOOK THE PHONE AND SAID SHINEE WORLD I RLY LIKE U
MJNHO SAID I LOVE U AND DID A HEART HUHU
MINHO IS SOAKED IN SWEAT OMFG
STAGE HOVERING OVER ARENA SECTION
SHAWOLS LAUGHED WHEN THE BACKUP DID THR SHOULDER SHAKING PART OF JINKI LMFAO
Taem: 1st floor people are u having fun Taem: 2nd floor people are u having fun Taem: 3rd floor people are u having fun Everyone: YEEEEE
THE SCREEN FOCUSED ON A FANBOARD SAYING 5HINEE FOREVER
[ pic cr: @pressitmvs]
MINHO JUMPED TO SAY HI TO OUR AREA HUHU
They were saying "lets go lets go" while running to our side looool
minho looks like hes holding back so hard huhu
theyre bowing to every side too :(((
[ cr: @blancbutter]
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Chapter 1 - Play of the game
Hey, everyone!
Author’s note: I did it! The first, however a shorter, part is out. I hope you’re gonna enjoy it. Remember - sharing is caring. ^-^
For my lovely best friend Susan, because she loves when I mention her.
Words: 3063
You have 1 new message.
I rolled my eyes as I heard the painfully familiar vibration coming off from under the pillow. My eyes hurt and my face felt disgusting, blaming the fact I again didn't take off my make-up before taking an obligatory nap. The yawn was long, making me feel dizzy. I put my hand under the cushion, palpating a rectangularly shaped object, taking it out.
Unlocking the screen of my phone, I sighed. Had I really been sleeping for only thirty minutes? I quickly tapped in the passcode, internally satisfying my clumsy self, since I hadn't made any mistake in the four meaningless numbers.
Another message popped up, as my eyes met with the bright white chat.
forever alone bitch: YOU SLEPT ENOUGH COME PLAY
noodle mommy: what
noodle mommy: did you seriously wake me up because of stupid ow
forever alone bitch: yes now come
forever alone bitch: i wanna play compets
noodle mommy: geez, ok
noodle mommy: gimme five minutes
forever alone bitch: gg
noodle mommy: ???
forever alone bitch: you and your five minutes
I chuckled, shaking my head. Somehow, I managed to get off my bed in a record time. The procedure of undoing the paint I had stuffed onto my skin was, as well, quite quick. In a while, I sat down onto a spinning chair, putting on the headphones, giving up on the ball of cables that fell into my lap. As I waited for the Blizzard app to start, I swiftly found the playlist that had been my companion for a few months now. The brisk tones of one of my favorite songs hit my ears, and I laughed at myself and at my poor attempts of singing in Korean.
"Geu bojogaen illegal, ille~~gal," I sang quietly, tapping the tips of my fingers in the rhytm, "but I want it anyway, anyway, anywa-" The invite to the group hit my screen, as soon as I got to the loaded menu. I, of course, accepted, joining the voice chat right after.
uncleREYES has joined the voice chat.
"Yo, nibblet, what's up?" I asked with a hoarse vocal, caused by the lack of usage. I got literally no response. Letting out a quiet sigh, the sudden hyped sound made me jump in my seat.
"HELLO, HELLO, IT'S YOUR GIIIIR-" The microphone cut off.
"Yeah, hi," laughing, I started the queue for competitives.
"-lright, you should totally see the video I sent you, because I'm fucking crying again. Why is MCCree so perfect? Why does Hanzo have to die in every fanfiction? Why can't they just be happy?!"
Sometimes, I wondered how she was able to be hysterical over two characters from a game, but then again, I wasn't different.
Well, okay, I agree. My obsession had gone perhaps too far, being it a few Korean idols, which made it even more difficult. They were real. They existed. They breathed the same air like I did, and their faces were literally everywhere I looked; printed on my phone case, set on my wallpapers - I even had a goddamn pillow case with Taehyung's face, biting his lip in the most seductive way ever.
"You need help," I responded to her autistic screeching, glancing at the timer passing by the second minute.
"... and you are the one to say that." Susan barked back with ease.
"Yeah, you're right. We both need help."
Susan and I, we had been friends since... pretty much forever. I met her during the start of the first year, as my kind of crazy classmate, also being an idiot into games. We'd argued for a few times, even stopped talking for another few months, but at the end of the day, noone could ever split our brotherhood, as we called it, apart. And there we were, the partners in any crime.
However, little did we both know that the upcoming minutes were going to completely change our lives, for good.
GAME FOUND! Joining the game...
Both of us went silent, as the map of Volskaya Industries showed, together with the name and rank lists of both teams. I briefly went through the players, and... something seemed off.
"Susan?" I asked, frowning. She responded with a silent, almost unhearable: "Hm?"
"Don't panic, okay? We have a fallen diamond Widowmaker main against us, low plat, in premade with two other platinums," I began, taking a deep breath. It wouldn't be a big deal, if I wasn't a borderline golden rank, and my comrade a bit higher gold. Was our elo getting bigger, or did we just get randomly filled into the missing places of a long-buffering game? I cracked my knuckles, checking out the others' mains, even more confused.
"How the hell am I not supposed to panic? I'll just play goddamn D.va, I'm not feeling the Ryu ga wagateki go-fuck yourself tonight." I let out a desperate laugh.
"Yeah, enjoy it. One of the... well, the GucciBoy has about 100 hours on D.va. They have a 120 hours MCCree main too, what the fuck?" I whined, comparing the composition of our teams together. We seemingly stood no chance, yet I didn't feel like giving up.
I chose Mercy, even though I wasn't a big fan of her pick. I decided to go for certain, stable decisions, instead of a Hanzo or Widow, and it seemed like I perfectly fullfilled the expectations of our teamcomp.
My attention, while we waited for the doors on attack to open, got caught by the allchat, as I smiled cheekily.
[ALL] Bunny: sugacheonjae? my ass...
[ALL] GucciB0i: LMAO
[ALL] TuandonJuan: IT'S HIGH NOON SOMEWHERE IN THE WORLD
Susan's next yak reminded me of a dying whale, but I decided to ignore it.
[ALL] uncleREYES: YES IN MY BED
[ALL] TuandonJuan: GIVE ME YOUR ADDRESS HUCKLEBERRY
"I'm so adding him!" she hissed happily, as I heard the furious clicks of a mouse. We had about twenty seconds towards the beginning, and for some reason, I felt nervous.
[ALL] Bunny: what is it, suga, you scared?
[ALL] SugaCheonjae: Excuse me?
[ALL] Bunny: ;)
That was the last hit my ego could take. I filled in with my Odile Widowmaker instead, ignoring the desperate cries for a switch back, as I just simply muted the teamchat.
[ALL] xHeroO: can u pls report widow shes trolling
[ALL] uncleREYES: can you please stfu and play, she's good
[ALL] Bunny: we will see about that
[ALL] TuandonJuan: uuu
[ALL] GucciB0i: spicy, I like that
"It's fine, yo, I muted them, anyway." I whispered to the microphone, to prevent Susy from distracting herself on pointless arguments with some kids. Wrapping my fingers tightly around the mouse, I covered the red light with my palm. The three of the enemy premades started to slowly dip over the edge of the cup of patience, that had already been pretty full.
The last seconds disappeared, and we rushed out of the building, with Reinhardt's shield leading us towards the point we were supposed to capture. I hooked myself at the edge of another house, dragging myself up in a long jump. Seeing the Symmetra's sentry turrets in the scope, I sighed, knowing already that it'd be pretty difficult to get over the arc, and then my point of view disappeared.
"Shit..." I cursed under my breath, waiting for the respawn. The first kill of the game was shining in the corner, as Bunny eliminated my courageous positioning.
[ALL] Bunny: :)
"Motherfucker."
Susy cleared out her throat with a loud cough, and before I tried to shut her up, her words pierced my ears: "Calm down, Natalie, you got this."
I nodded, not quite sure of myself, but I did. I truly also didn't feel like losing against a bunch of pricky platinum asses. Susy flew behind the entrance through the arc, destroying the sentry turrets, and losing her Mecha in exchange. Low on health, she jumped behind the corner, meeting up with Reinhardt's half-destroyed shield and Zenyatta's healing orb. I took a deep breath. It was my time to shine.
I dediced to not make the same mistake twice. Instead of jumping on a visible place, I slowly looked out from behind one of the slopes, with my rifle scoped into the enemy team. At first, I couldn't quite spot a single thing not hidden behind Orisa's barrier, but then Symmetra made a simple, greedy mistake. I found the weak spot, quickly eliminating one of their major defense mechanism, dying to a bullet of the enemy Widowmaker again, afterwards.
[ALL] Bunny: nice try :)
[ALL] SugaCheonjae: Are you always this annoying?
The beeping of a movement around the point assured me that I made a great move. Symmetra was down, and after the death recap, their Mercy too. Roadhog's hook wasn't something she could just simply survive. I bit my lip. The only proper problem on their team was Widowmaker, killing our squishy damage dealers without a fuss.
"She's on the rooftop-" I grinned, victoriously, pinning down Bunny's killing spree with a precise headshot. Reinhardt's shield protected us in front of the enemy's D.va ultimate and mister High noon got a bullet back, thanks to Genji's deflection. I got to kill Orisa on low health, before she placed the barrier, as we successfully captured the first point.
[ALL] SugaCheonjae: Everything's alright down there?
I mocked at the cockiness the enemy Widowmaker showed before, Susy's 'ooooh' giving me the courage I didn't even know I had.
[ALL] Bunny: you're just lucky
Yeah, of course, I thought to myself, hitting one head after another. Not even three minutes into the end of our timer we'd captured the second point, setting the score to 2:0 for our team.
"Good job, they don't even know what hit 'em."
I loved the enthusiasm in my friend's voice. And she was right - after a bad start, we didn't even let them move from their attack spawn, as Susan's arrow hit every spotted movement, and I finished off the rest. We won, almost effortlessly claiming the clear score. The victory poses triked through my screen and Susy, all proud, screamed, watching the animation of Widowmaker swinging, with my name underneath.
Play of the game
SUGACHEONJAE
as WIDOWMAKER.
I quickly recognized the one last seconds before we captured the last point of the objective.
"Now, watch this." I grinned, biting the side of my index finger. TuandonJuan fell first. D.va's mech disappeared in Susy's scattered arrows and I quickly dragged my mouse over, finding Widow's peaking head, shutting down even the Mercy's desperate try to resurrect their last hope.
[ALL] GucciB0i: GG
[ALL] TuandonJuan: I'll find you in another life, unclereyes
[ALL] uncleREYES: ;-;
[ALL] Bunny: I could really use a hug right now...
"Tsk..." I snapped. Disrespectful idiot, no wonder he fell to such low elo. We returned back into the menu.
"Let me just go grab a coffee, and we can continue," I announced, taking off the headphones, heading to the kitchen. It felt good, really. I'd always liked to prove my skill, especially to such douchebags.
Returning back to my room, I silently closed the door, placing the cup next to my laptop. What caught my attention were the extra three icons next to ours, and the names shining bright in the groupchat.
[GROUP] TuandonJuan: howdy
[GROUP] GucciB0i: HOW ON EARTH DID YOU TWO GOT ONLY GOLD FROM PLACEMENTS, I DON'T GET IT
[GROUP] uncleREYES: its called skill, something you dont have
[GROUP] GucciB0i: that doesn't make any sense
[GROUP] uncleREYES: jeff hates us
[GROUP] GucciB0i: touché
[GROUP] uncleREYES: :^)
[GROUP] Bunny: what are we waiting for?
[GROUP] uncleREYES: coffeegirl
[GROUP] GucciB0i: why did I read cowgirl
[GROUP] uncleREYES: I almost wrote cowboy tbh
[GROUP] TuandonJuan: what do you mean cowboy, im here all the time darlin
[GROUP] uncleREYES: >.>
[GROUP] uncleREYES: voice?
[GROUP] Bunny: I'll pass
[GROUP] GucciB0i: YA BOIIIIIIIIIIII
[GROUP] TuandonJuan: anything for you
I slammed the M key, muting my microphone, hearing the honest laugh of my bestfriend and two as loud voices.
TO: uncleREYES: WHAT THE HELL, SUSAN?!
FROM: uncleREYES: come onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn he mains mccree i love him
TO: uncleREYES: i'm not playing with the bitchass widow
FROM: uncleREYES: he isnt even talking
FROM: uncleREYES: please
FROM: uncleREYES: i'll buy you cigs
TO: uncleREYES: ...
"Hey, you can start, I'm back." I jumped into their conversation, which madly whirled around the best MCCree skin. TuandonJuan's voice made me chuckle, because he'd just found out that Susy also loved the Lifesaver skin the most.
"Is it the best Widowmaker under the sun?" I sort of cringed at the weird accent of the GucciB0i, but I took the compliment, proudly.
"Well, I'm definitely not Bunny, so it has to be me?" I grinned, as Susy started the quickplay queue, relieved that we weren't going to tryhard, because honestly, I felt like I gave everything skillful I had left in the competive game. However, that didn't mean I was going to be an easy prey to make jokes of, still visibly hurt by the offensive humor from the game before.
"Oh, shit, you're my new best friend," GucciB0i's oddly famous deep voice responded. Susy almost immediately grunted back: "Fuck off, would you? The spot is already taken!"
"I hope the spot of your boyfriend isn't taken, uncleREYES, because I'd definitely want to nominate myself." I choked on the sip of coffee, clapping as soon as I placed the cup back at its spot. "Alright, that was just too fucking smooth," I hissed, shaking my head. I felt utterly happy, because Susan deserved an equally disabled person in her life, to weight off all the bad events from the past.
FROM: uncleREYES: im
FROM: uncleREYES: fucking
FROM: uncleREYES: in
FROM: uncleREYES: love
FROM: uncleREYES: who is that guy
TO: uncleREYES: XDDDD idk
"Talking behind our backs, much?" GucciB0i seemed to have ears everywhere.
"Maybe...?" I teasily asked, laughing it off. The silence got quickly filled by TuadonJuan's adoration towards Susy's McHanzo kink.
It... somehow felt right, yet stupid. Bunny still hadn't spoken and I felt guilty for making fun of him, but the again, he was the same in the competitive. I shrugged it off, mindlessly skipping the songs, finally getting to a slower cover of Adam Levine's Lost Stars from Jungkook.
"Please, don't see, just a boy caught up in dreams and fanta~sies-" I quietly hummed to the rhytm, as we finally joined the Dorado map. I didn't make a big deal about them hearing me sing, because honestly, in the talk of those two it occured to be as effective as hearing of a deaf person. I remained silent for next few seconds, until Jungkook's soft voice reached the refrain.
"Damn, I love that boy." I scoffed. "Who? Who?!" I rolled my eyes for a hunderth time that evening. "Jungkook, who else could I mean?" The only response in suddenly quiet voicechat was careless Susy and her laughing voice.
"Girl, you love everyone. You have a pillow with Taehyung's face, Suga in name, Jin on hoodie, you want to rap like Namjoon and dance like Hobi. And now you say you love Jungkook, I'm confused."
"It's not my fault, okay, they are all perfect, shut up!" I whined, covering my blushing face, even though noone could see me, both in the darkness and through the screen.
"Sure, whatever," she chuckled back, paying all of her attention to damage-boosting of TuandonJuan's ass, playing, surprisingly, McCree, again. I picked Ana, thoughtlessly shooting my darts at everything that moved, either reducing or adding up on health.
The final push seemed to be endless, as we either died or killed during the overtime. Finally finishing charging up my ultimate, I nanoboosed Reaper, who completely cleared out the point of the enemies, scoring a precise teamkill. Briefly realizing it was Bunny, I coughed, trying to somehow sound friendlier than before.
"Good job, bunny boy," I cheered, watching the scenario all over again from his point of view in the play of the game. He seemed to unmute himself, because the icon of him talking showed.
I was expecting everything but not what I heard. Listening to the cover of Lost Stars on replay still, I gasped, as Bunny murmured a modest, yet elated: "Thank you very much for your ultimate, Sugasuga."
For a brief second I couldn't quite believe what I heard.
"Why do you sound exactly like Jungkook?" I said more to myself, than to him, completely amazed by the discovery.
"Nah, he doesn't." Susy opposed, visibly still annoyed by his previous behavior.
"I agree, he sounds nothing like the korean dude," TuandonJuan's voice interfered, and I raised my eyebrows in surprise. "You know BTS?"
I caught him off guard, visibly.
He laughed, embrarassed: "Yeah, my-my little sister won't shut up about them."
I smiled. "That's... well, understandable."
"Aight, I agree with Sugasuga, though, he has something that makes him sound like Jungkook, but not quit-"
"Can you not compare me to that gaypop shit? Thank you." Bunny's voice went off again, and I scowled. "Did I say something wrong?"
"Nah, he is... acting like an ass, tonight. You know, periods-" I held back my laughter. Guccib0i was cool, I could give Susy that.
"Don't even fucking get me started about the periods, dude," she hissed, and I just legitimately bursted out, together with the others.
[GROUP] Bunny: fuck you too, T
We managed to play a few more games, before we said all the goodnights, and thanks for playing. I turned off the laptop, wiping my eyes, sliding under the cold bedsheets with the phone in my hand.
forever alone bitch: told you they are not so bad
noodle mommy: yeah, BUT im lowkey crushing on Bunny's voice
forever alone bitch: wtf
noodle mommy: fuck him though, GucciB0i is the S H I T
forever alone bitch: yeah we ship you two
noodle mommy: "we"?
forever alone bitch: mark and me
noodle mommy: ????
forever alone bitch: last seen a minute ago
Susan was right, though. They didn't seem like bad people. We had some decent laughs and giggles, plus, the GucciB0i turned out to be a pretty huge fanboy of Taehyung.
Somehow, I couldn't wait for the next night, because that was the time we estabilished as another gaming session. I closed my eyes, hugging Taehyung's stuffed face, with a dorky smile, first time in a while feeling upon satisfied with how the day had ended,
#fanfic#btssuga#BTS jimin#BTS jin#BTS jungkook#BTS suga#bts v#btsjhope#btsau#overwatchau#overwatch#oc#fluff#sarcasm#gamingau#outoftags#fanfiction
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Seventeen Diamond Edge Manila FanAcc
look dude omg this got long and it’s basically me professing my love for Seungkwan and Seventeen and how amazing they were but I need to pour my feelings into something before I suffer PCD while studying for exams
((pero leche bes di ko alam kung makaka-get over ako dito haha))
let me start this fan account by FREAKING OUT cause while I was waiting in the VIP 1 queue to get in I was studying cause I have finals this week haha and while I was studying I heard a familiar voice AND MY PROFESSOR WHOM I HAVE AN EXAM FOR THIS MONDAY WAS STANDING IN FRONT OF ME TALKING TO HIS CHILD AND I JUST WALKED AWAY WHILE HIDING MY FACE OMG
((I'm not gonna post a link to my vids cause i only upload fancams on yt in fear that my hard drive will die on my and I'll lose everything haha besides I only like took crappy vids on my phone for like half a song then stopped cause I was too busy being mesmerized by them haha))
so anyways DE was so beautiful omg let me get my thoughts together as I relive one of the best nights of my life haha so they started off with Pretty U and Seungkwan was coming over to our side so much and he was so beautiful omg I know I love that boy but last night cemented it for me haha then they performed Beautiful which is all of them omg and look dude I am a loyal VerKwan shipper but MinKwan were playing around together so much I came out of DE shipping them almost as hard as VerKwan
then they performed Adore U and PH carats are so cute cause instead of 'Akkinda' we sang 'akin ka'which means you're mine ((which they are haha)) and Joshua and Minghao were so cute at the start doing Joshua's signature dance move, the one where he drops on his knees like a pro, they then introduce themselves AND SEUNGKWAN IS THE MOST ADORABLE BEING EVER I'M DEAD and omg Minghao was speaking english everytime he talked that precious child must have practiced a lot i love him ((and omg I fully realized how short Jihoon is compared to his members he was adorable))
AND THEN THEY PERFORMED STILL LONELY AKA ONE OF MY FAVE SVT SONGS now I need a 13 member version of Still Lonely & Drift Away, going into Aju Nice I felt extra happy cause I can watch it with all the members performing well and healthy :D we go into Swimming Fool AND I LIVE FOR THAT SONG OMG I LIVE FOR THE PERFORMANCE MORE
then Mansae came on AND OMG SEUNGKWAN WAS INFRONT OF ME BEING THE ADORABLE LIL SHIT THAT HE IS then Boom Boom was performed and omg Lee Chan you are barely legal do not be that sexy omg ((i'm kidding be as sexy as you want child you can pull it off so well omg)) then Soonyoung and Chan stayed to talk to us and they imitated each other and Soonyoung copied Chan's part in DWC so cutely making Chan spell his name with his butt and I thought it would look funny BUT NO OMG THAT BOY IS TOO SEXY FOR HIS OWN GOOD THEN HOSHI DID IT AS WELL AND CONSIDER ME DEAD BOI
Vocal Team performance is next and the opening video was so beautiful and classy and sentimental in a way, it was so beautiful omg Seungkwan was so beautiful omg their voices are exactly the same from what we hear only better and I really really REALLY need a copy of Don't Listen in Secret Phantom of The Opera version ((that's what i call it)) cause the arrangement is so beautiful and dramatic and I LOVE IT SO MUCH
Hip Hop Team is up next and damn their video was a criminal AU in the making ((quick someone write it I need it in my life!!)) gdi Hansol Vernon Chwe who gave you the right to attack me with looks??? like they are all very handsome istg I will fight anyone who ranks their looks cause how can you?? but Hansol just looks different in a very good way like his looks just stands out from the rest and then his charisma on stage is just woah like boy you look like a mob boss in your outfit and it suits you very well A++++ to your stylist
dude Performance Team omg look I can honestly admit I've only listend to OMG like twice?? it's just Oh My God 1827 times ((I hear the words omg come out of me enough thank you very much)) but dude I freaking love rock versions of ANY song ((cause in my heart I will always be FOB's b*tch haha omg I met a fellow fan and we are very very VERY excited for Mania haha)) so all I can do was stare and freak out how good OMG rock version was
then Crazy In Love happened but what really made us crazy was My I OH GOD HAVE MERCY ON ME THAT PERFORMANCE WAS EVERYTHING OMG I LOVED EVERY PART OF IT like I've watched the MV dozens of times but seeing it live is a whole other experience
then Habit was performed aka THE MOMENT I CRIED A LITTLE cause omg i love that song so much their vocals are so good, the stage was so beautiful THEY WERE SO BEAUTIFUL AND EMOTIONAL THEN I WAS EMOTIONAL AND I WAS A MESS AT THIS STAGE OKAY SUE ME
If I was performed and bitch we lost it when they danced at the end like if you ever find my fancam you won't see much cause i dropped my hand in amazement like damn boy damn AND THEN OMG MINGYU SANG HIS PART IN TRAUMA AND THIS IS THE POINT WHERE I TRULY DIE PLEASE PUT DIAMOND EDGE AS COD ON MY DEATH CERTIFICATE and Performance team announced the title of their song Lilili Yabbay AND I AM SO EXCITED OMG
Rock, Chuck then Don't Wanna Cry was performed and that was when I realized that the concert was ending and I was like noooooo please don't end you still haven't performed all your songs then the lights went off and people were chanting for an encore and sang happy birthday to Jeonghan ((which I'm kind of sad about cause when it came to the ending ment we couldn't really find a way to sneak in the happy bithday song))
AND THEN THEY CAME OUT IN ROSE QUARTZ & SERENITY AND I WAS SO EMOTIONAL OKAY THE WHOLE AUDIENCE WAS ROSE QUARTZ AND SERENITY ((courtesy of the lovely ph carats coordinators haha sorry i didn't really know any fan projects cause i was too busy with school i actually had an exam earlier that day)) so they performed Shining Diamond & Healing
then the ending ment and omg Seungkwan was so so so cute like I am smiling just remembering how adorable and kind he genuinely looked and Minghao said his in perfect english and I felt so proud AND CHEOL LOOKED LIKE HE WAS TEARING UP SO I WAS TEARING UP AND I CAN'T ANYMORE I'M GETTING EMOTIONAL AGAIN OMG
tldr: so yeah Diamond Edge was amazing, pictures don't give their looks any justice, they sound way better live and all their performances are A+++ and I love them all so much
#seventeen#diamond edge manila#fan account#i talk#i'm a mess guys#my feelings are all over the place
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crédito: Brian Epstein Is My Gay Best Friend
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