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geekgemsspooksandtoons · 3 years

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You’re Not An Awful Parent

This is basically a birthday gift I wanna write to my good friend/bro @pikablob

I hope you don’t mind this. The title was tricky, originally it was Calm With You. But I just changed it...like, I just thought of the titles. And I’m in the Joheda tag right now making this. This is basically an expansion/remake of this Joheda bit I sent to you in a message...I felt like it was easier to use that as my inspiration. Including use some of my stuff I have wanted to write about.

I just really love these two characters a lot. To the point, I will admit, I do selfship myself with these two. But considering you started to ship these two and I was hesitant at first. Despite I originally thought about them before...I’m glad I started loving this ship.

This likely takes place in my Cartoonverse. Or whatever you want to see it. Yet it will likely take place in that. I hope you love this, and I’m gonna try my best writing it. Because I like these two a lot. Here I go.

So I just finished it, and I saved it once as a draft in case. I changed the title from It’s Calming With You I think. I pressed too much crtl z that I erased the last sentence...I hope you folks like this. I really hope so.

Johanna had all sorts of weird feelings. It felt weird to her maybe because she hadn’t been like this in such a long time. She was a grown woman and...it felt awkward having these feelings...it was like when she was with the man who was her husband.

Her relationship with the man only lasted for a few years. But due to personal issues, he left her and their young daughter. Despite Johanna tried to act like it was fine, it did kind of hurt he left. At times he remembers his name, sometimes she forgets it. But she still recalls he had the same hair color as their daughter.

She felt like after that, she may not feel this way again...then Eda Clawthorne showed up in her apartment one day out of nowhere.

Despite a rocky start, and having Eda return what she had stolen from their apartment. She wasn’t a bad person. Yeah, Eda was wanted by the Emperor's Coven, but that was a whole other story. She was genuinely nice when she wasn’t being sassy or whatever else. Eda was mainly pleasant to talk to, despite how different they are. It was very nice to have an adult friend to talk to that didn’t look at her strange or possibly belittle her.

There was also the fact that Eda’s relationship with Hilda was pretty great. At times, it seemed like Hilda enjoyed being with her more. And that made her sad...especially recently with how she thinks she’s being too controlling of Hilda going out on adventures...but that was another subject.

Johanna liked men, she always did. There was nothing wrong with that. But to her, trust was a very important thing. But...these feelings for Eda felt...so awkward...she felt like she was some shy teenage girl. And to make matters worse...Eda was indulging in it. Saying sweet stuff to her which would make her blush.

Was it...a crush? It had to be, even though if this happened when she was a teenager. Her parents would’ve been upset with her. She never really considered this...feeling towards women. Maybe the aftermath of her husband leaving made her ignore wanting love. Sure, there were always some beautiful men out there. But she always focused on Hilda. To make sure she was safe. That’s what was more important to her.

But because of that...maybe Hilda was right? What if she was being too hard on her? What if she should’ve trusted her more? It was the events with the Black Hound and other things that seemed to have made her reconsider some things. Despite Trolberg was a very easy going place...she just grew paranoid and worried for her daughter. Especially after recent events with a break in once when Hilda had gone out with her friends.

It was night time at the apartment, and Eda wanted to visit them. She was disappointed when she learned Hilda was staying at Frida’s house. But she stayed behind and had some dinner with Johanna...

Johanna just really wanted to talk with Eda, about Hilda and her words. Maybe she would give out some good advice, and she just needed it from someone who has some experience in a way...despite her experience might be...stranger than hers or not.

The two ladies sat on the couch. The tv was on, it was a inoffensive channel Johanna decided to put on. Eda wasn’t really in on it, but she didn’t seem to mind. At that point, Johanna just put on the channel because it was mainly family related, something friendly, and possibly make be background noise.

During their time watching the tv, Eda put her left arm over Johanna’s shoulders. It made her blush, but Eda smiled seeing that. For a couple of minutes, she just wanted to talk to Eda soon, and now it was that time.

“Eda”.

“Yeah?” Eda asked.

“I...really want to talk about something important. It’s about Hilda.” Johanna told her.

“Oh, alright.” Eda was curious. What did they need to talk about? Was it about what Hilda had complained to her a while back? Johanna decided to turn down the volume of the tv with her remote, and she sat it back on the arm rest of the couch. After that, Eda took her arm off of Johanna’s shoulders and just put them behind the couch.

“Is everything alright with Hilda?” she asked her.

Johanna didn’t know how to answer that right away. She wanted to say everything was fine...but her recent interactions with her daughter bothered her. Such as the point of literally grounding her because of the Cauldon Island incident. She had to be honest, but she didn’t know the right words.

Eda just looked at her. She could tell Johanna was trying to find the right words to say. Johanna just had her arms in her lap, looking at the ground, and wondering what to say. But considering what Hilda told her before, Eda guessed what she might wanna talk about.

“Is it because she didn’t be honest with you recently?” Eda decided to just say it. Because it was likely the thing she wanted to speak about. But the moment she said that, Johanna’s eyes widened.

“Wait...she told you?” Johanna sounded surprised when she heard that.

“Well...yeah...we had a long talk about it.” Eda admitted to her. Hearing that shocked Johanna for some reason. While she could trust Eda, but it’s the fact Hilda talked to her first instead of herself.

“She...went to you...instead of me?” Johanna putting her hands up a bit, sounding stressed, and possibly feeling heartbroken by the reveal of that. “But...we were supposed to talk about it first.” She kept getting more confused and was sounding more sad. As if Hilda didn’t trust her to tell how she felt. She kept rambling to herself until Eda stepped in.

“Hey, hey, hey Jo...calm down okay?” Eda grabbed Johanna’s right hand with her right hand, while she patted her back for reassurance. “Take a deep breath okay. Breathe in, breathe out. Follow my lead, okay?” she told her friend and she listened. They were breathing in and out, and Johanna felt better after that.

“Thank you Eda.” She told her, closing her eyes. “So, she told you about me grounding her and me being more worried than usual?”

“Yeah, she did talk to me about it. And we had a talk about it. I can understand of why she would be bothered” Eda continued on. “It was a long talk actually. And I wanted to also check if you were okay too.”

“Really?” Johanna looked back at her.

Eda only nodded and smile. “I mean, that’s why I was bummed out when I learned she wasn’t here. To be honest, it makes me feel warm inside when she sees me show up. As if I’m maybe a celebrity. It’s actually pretty cute.” Eda continued on. While she had Luz admiring her and trying to teach her to become a witch. There was something wholesome of Hilda always liking Eda’s company. Despite they got off the wrong foot.

“...I’m an awful parent.” Johanna said as she looked at the ground. With her hands in her lap again.

“...what?” Eda said, sounding surprised by that.

“I just...God” Johanna put her left hand over her nose. “I just can’t take it...or I worry too much. Ever since so much stuff happened. I’m getting more scared for her to be out there. I know she can take care of herself. But it scares me because with recent things that have happened.” She just looked at her hands, and her irritated voice started to sound like she wanted to cry.

“Recent things?” Eda asked.

“It’s not just the fact she’s been lying to me a dozen times. But it’s the fact ever since this break in at one point, and whatever has been happening with this city. I’m just worried for her, and I think she’s started to hate me for it.” At the moment, Johanna sounded as if she was gonna cry.

“I’m just worried that some horrible person is gonna take her away while my back is turned. Or I’m not gonna be there to help her. As if I’m starting to feel weak and helpless...I don’t know what’s been going on it’s just” Johanna choked a bit because she was starting to tear up.

“Hey...Jo...it’s okay.” Eda tried calming her down. Putting her hands on her shoulders.

“My husband left me long ago because of maybe stuff like this. I don’t know anymore. And I’m just...I’m terrified I won’t see her again. And I’m upset by the idea I’m a horrible mother because you are able to protect her and I’m not. Look at me? I’m just some graphic designer and you’re a bloody witch! You’re everything she wants in a mum! And I’m just...normal! She won’t be honest with me, and she hates me!” She cried out, and then put her hands over her face. She started to cry more.

Eda hated seeing her like this. It hurt her seeing Johanna talk about herself this way. Going far as putting herself down because of recent events.

“And...I feel weird...about whatever we have going on!? I...is it a bad thing? I do like men, but...why do you even hang around me? I’m not like anyone you might’ve met at the Boiling Isles...I’m just a mum who might just get kidnapped, or just doing graphic designs while her daughter goes on some adventures behind her mother’s back.” Johanna said.

At that point, Eda may of found out what was bothering Johanna even more. And she knew she had to make things better. She grabbed Johanna’s head and turned it to face her own slowly. With her hands still on Johanna’s cheeks.

“I want you to listen to what I have to say...your daughter doesn’t hate you. She never hated you. We talked about how maybe you’ve being too controlling. But I did talk to her that you’re just maybe worried...and that you both should be honest with each other...but what I didn’t know is what else you had on your mind.” Eda continued.

“Hilda may possibly consider me a fun mom, and I love hanging out with her. But I am not the one who plays Dragon Panic with her. I am not the one who changed her diapers. And I’m certainly not the one who raised her to be person she was...that was you...not me. YOU.”

Eda really wanted to hammer the point she wasn’t Hilda’s mother. But Johanna was her mother. That no matter what Hilda thought of Eda, Johanna was Hilda’s real mother.

“Listen...I understand being scared for her while she’s out there. Trust me, my magic is weakened and I have to make sure there is food on the table for Luz. But I didn’t want her to worry about that. You need to be a bit more open. You need to make her feel comfy about going on adventures. You’re not always gonna be there to protect her. She’s gonna grow up, and you can’t always have this grip on her. But it’s fine you’re scared.” Eda continued on.

“So no...you’re not an awful parent. You make mistakes. We all do. And I hate it when you talk about yourself like that. It hurts me more to see you cry. You’re not just some human who’s a graphic designer...you’re honestly one of the kindest people I know...and I still feel awful of how we met. I just want to make sure you feel alright and safe...okay.” Eda told her.

“....you really mean...all of that?” Johanna asked her, sniffing a bit. But it seemed like she stopped crying.

“Yes...I meant every word. You’re not weak and helpless, and like I’m grateful that I met Luz. I’m glad to have met you and Hilda.” Eda just hugged her after that.

Johanna felt so shocked. The warmth Eda gave her, and the hug felt so reassuring. It was beautiful that someone did understood her, but also telling her what she needed to do. But also someone who told her that she wasn’t weak or helpless. She really needed to hear this from her. After her eyes had be widen for the hug, she closed them, and hugged Eda back.

“Thank you Eda.” Johanna told her.

“No problem...it’s fine...we both needed to let some stuff out didn’t we?” Eda told her. “And we can sit here as long as you want.”

The two women just sat on the couch for about five minutes. They were just embracing each other.

“I’m sorry...for stealing your stuff and that I possibly made you feel worse.” Eda told her. Sounding sad as well.

“It’s okay...I had forgiven you already...but I didn’t know you still felt awful...I don’t hate you.” Johanna told her back. Wanting to reassure Eda of their first encounter. Hearing that made Eda felt relived even more. Despite Johanna had forgiven her long ago, it was nice to hear the confirmation again.

“So.....you still like men right?” Eda said playfully.

Johanna’s eyes widened, and they got out of the hug.

“I mean...just...I’m sorry if I upset you in anyway. I...feel confused. We’re not in a relationship...I don’t know if we have a thing...I just...feel weird around you. But I think it helped me realize some things. I just haven’t felt this way since my husband left...and while you are always flirting...I really enjoy your company.” Johanna said while blushing.

“You’ve never upset me. And hey...sorry if I...get too close at times.” Eda said.

“No...it’s fine...I think...I just don’t get a lot of affection like that. I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship yet...but I again...enjoy your company. You make me feel better.” Johanna told her.

“Awwww, I understand. I just...want you to feel loved you know? But I never wanna make you uncomfortable. I will admit, I love seeing you as a blushing mess.” Eda said with a smile. “If you don’t want to pursue a relationship, that’s fine. I don’t wanna push that on you. But I will be around if you ever need to talk or anything. Whether it’s about Hilda, us, or anything else. Just...use that weird Nowhere Space you guys use...if Tontu doesn’t mind.” Eda said, comforting Johanna.

“And besides...I don’t mind preferring men. I mean...I’ve been with a lot...some are good...some aren’t so good. A lot of them were nice looking...not as nice looking at you.” Eda said back at her with a smile. Which made Johanna flustered. “But you know...trust is key.”

“Yeah...that’s what I think is important too.” Johanna admitted that.

“...hey...if you don’t mind...do you wanna talk about...your husband?” Eda asked her.

“...I think I’d rather not. I think talk about enough things already.” Johanna said while stroking her hair.

Eda decided to grab Johanna and bring her close to her chest.

“Alright. If we’re gonna stop talking. Then we’re gonna do this.” Eda said playfully.

“What are you doing?” Johanna asked.

“I want you to lay on me...I’m just...kind of hugging you. Trust me...I think you need it.” Eda told her.

“Eda. I need to wash the dishes.” Johanna told her.

“Uh uh...screw the dishes...you’re staying here until I feel everything is better okay?” Eda said, not giving Johanna much of a choice. But she didn’t mind it. Being in Eda’s arms and just on her chest felt comforting.

“What about the elixir?” Johanna asked.

“Already had some before I got here. I packed one in case. You’re not getting out of this, trust me.” Eda wanted to make sure she wasn’t gonna let go for a while. “Now...who’s the most beautiful woman in Trolberg?” She asked.

“....I am.” Johanna blushed when hearing that.

“Damn right you are Jo...damn right you are.” Eda said while keeping Johanna close to her chest.

It was gonna be a long night. While Tontu kept to himself, and Twig and Alfur were with Hilda. The two women kept to themselves, and Johanna wouldn’t mind being just stuck in Eda’s arms for a long time. As the witch stroked her hair gently, and just wanted to make her friend she cared about a lot feel comfortable. Johanna deserved that after everything she’d been through.

#GeekGem's Cartoonverse #joheda #hilda the series #johanna #the owl house #eda clawthorne

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alphasmoonlit-selfships · 3 years

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🎫 here’s a gush pass :3 feel free to gush about whichever f/o you want, however much you want, then send this ask to 3 other selfshippers >:3c

(@rose-wine-selfships 🌹🍷✨)

Ahh! A gush pass??!! 😳🎫 @rose-wine-selfships thank you! Better late than never right? 🥺💖 ahh!

Am going to gush on the best two fictional loves of my life if you don’t mind? 🥺 I love Atsushi so much and I want to talk about my dear Jason too! 🥺🐺🐯 I hardly do and he deserves some nice spot light too ! For those that don’t know him to well! 🥺

Come and hear my rambling under the read more ≧ω≦

Mi Tigre! Mi amore! He is such a mood and such a vibe! I love his overall person, his design, his personality, his sweet and beautiful kindness towards people who have gone through similar situations as he had and his just can’t help but want to save them from such fates. He wants the best for all those he cares about and how he believed for a long while that if he can safe others than it would be enough proof for him to continue living. Even at the cost of his own life and I just (ಥ﹏ಥ) nooo my love please,,,

It’s kind of scary how much I resonated with that… not gonna lie, I’ve always had such a mentally too to an extent when I was younger, heck even a bit now but not as drastic as my younger self thought… (then again Digimon college Au definitely tells me otherwise… ;;w;; ahh anyway),,

Atsushi has definitely grown so much and is still learning to better himself! I believe that in this new environment of being with good people of the Agency, he will continue to develop and get better. Being surrounded by a found family that cares and loves his well being, will boost his confidence! And soon he will be truly an amazing mentor towards a future main 👀 watch the manga end the way it started with Atsushi saving someone who was in a similar situation 🥺 of course not the way Dazai did 👀 but it will be a full circle 🥺 like just envision an older!Atsushi in Dazai’s place of saying his name, “My name? Nakajima, Nakajima Atsushi!” 🌅 hdkahdkalfkaldhlasads not gonna lie I just want to see older Atsushi rocking his confidence and growth 💖🥰

Overall, I don’t think I’ve ever come to love such a main character before? The way I resonate with him makes me all warm and fussy and has allowed me to see,,, a lot about myself and reflect on it better. His path to healing isn’t linear, it’s been a constant up and down motion 🥺 I really don’t want to see him encounter more bad things ;;;~;;; but I know it’s to progress the story and for him to get better; but please Asagiri-sensei, don’t be so bad on him ;;0;;

I love mi Tigre so so much UwU he truly my source of comfort and love daydreaming of sweet and silly romantic things with him 💖 the ideal relationship and try to definitely lift myself up in anyway I can with him, especially during my depressive moments. Which happens a lot especially when it comes to comparing myself to others ;;w;; it’s a terrible thing and I swear I break my own heart so many times a day,,, but I know despite it all Atsushi loves me entirely because I am me, there is none other like me 🥺 all his kisses warm my soul ♥️(*´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥﹏°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ )人(´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

Now!! TO MY PRECIOUS GENTLE STORM, MY RAIN, MY DEAREST MATE 🥺‼️🐺🌧

Aghddkjahdkfkaljddj!!! The best boi, the best oc I love so dearly like! 🥺 Jason “Jaystorm” Grey! He is my own fictional OC that I created sometime in 8th grade I believe? About 2010! So almost 11 years I think!

He has dealt with a lot of my creative mind and just pure high school into college anguish ;;;w;;; my gentle storm hasn’t had the best life, in either Au or actual story he’s in. Legendary Wolf Warrior’s story, he and his later sister where born from an affair situation. While not much suspicion was raised with him, he later had to endure a lot of traumatic events in his life.

First, with his older brother leaving him behind to deal with his alpha father’s (older brother’s biological dad) anger.

Witnessing his actual dad (Jason and Lula’s dad) get murdered in cold blood, right in front of him, believing it was his fault for him trying to run away with his brother.

Become physically and mentally abused by his alpha, who was trying to shape him into something worse under all this abuse.

Witnessing said alpha, murder his mother for supposedly sending away his sister through a river. And because of the affair she had that birthed him and his sister. Who’s fate is unknown to him for a long, long time until they are much older.

And then the aftermath of standing up to alpha’s abuse and fighting back for all the years of torment he was put through. Gaining his powers of the Storm in the process. But Jason, bless him, never wanted to be the one to kill him, he just wanted to leave of his own accord, but this terrible wolf that raised and abused him wanted to fight and kill him for trying to leave.

Because of this, he is often plagued with nightmares and believes he sees him in the far distance for a long while after he travels on his own. The mental and emotional abuse staying with Jason for a long while. Even after when he arrives at the Forest of Dreams, being the last warrior to arrive of the seven that exist.

He has no control of his powers for a long time, sometimes drawing storms with the slightest anger. He had no idea how to fight without almost killing someone else in the process. Jason had so much guilt and fear of losing control of this higher power he possessed, even scared of losing the other warriors because of his lack of strength and skills at them. They, who have had their powers for far longer as younger pups.

But of course he has them too, despite his insecurities and fears, the others help him and show him how to better control such a power, especially at his age. They don’t turn him away as he worried so much, they train him and tell him to control his emotions that cause a major melt down of his powers.

Danielle especially (me in that sense UwU), who understands what it means to let one’s emotions get the best of them, helps him find his balance and most especially helps him talk about his past.

He definitely says it so nonchalantly, never realizing how bad his life was for a long time. Actually believing most alpha’s in wolf packs led with such a tyrannical stance. More than surprised by Dany’s father’s lead and his genuine kindness to others and other animals around the Forest of Dreams. A lot of it is due to the abuse of his own alpha and how his mind was filled with such negative things, especially about himself.

Jason does feel like an outsider most of the time, even more so than some of the other animals/humans who lived similar lives, but especially because of his powers. But he grows from when he first arrived in FoD, he learns to socialize more, how to hunt and give to the forest, how live a life of his own and not be ruled over by past influences. He looks back on his younger self a lot and reflects on how he wished to save that young version of himself from so much.

But he has in a sense, by living on his life and being everything his alpha never was and tried to instill in him. He has a new family, one that is genuine and true and would never leave him despite the terrible things that happened. 🥺🌧

Jason is my best mans, the best boi that deserves the world and much peace. Many think the Storm power for him is kind of odd considering his pretty pacifist nature and gentleness. I think it fits him perfectly anyway 💖🌧 he is pretty similar in Digimon Au, though most of his strength and growth is him and his experiences and also the voice encouragement by his Digimon, Raiwolfmon. Even so, he is still a dear and precious person, nothing like the terrible “father figure” that raised him. He is all his own and so much better.

Well I’ve talked for too long 👀🥰 I hope you enjoyed my gush ramble on the two loves of my life! 🥺💖🥺💖🥺💖 I love my Atsushi and Jason so much and this gave me so much time to reflect on them, especially Jason 👀♥️ he is the best boi and love him so much in private a lot UwU but hopefully I can do more DanyJay things 💖🥺🌧🥰

Thanks again for the gush pass rose! 🥺 sorry for the long wait too UwU, bless you! 💖♥️🥺♥️🥺♥️💖 and excuse my rambling and maybe confusing spasm speak to explain things ;;w;; by all means I’m here to answer all the questions 👀😳

#self shipping community #self shipping #gush pass 🎫#atsushi nakajima #jason 'jaystorm' grey #bungou stray dogs #the legendary wolf warriors #alpha’s art #alpha’s oc’s #tag: we are of the moon and stars my dear #tag: always and forever will never be long enough #AtsuDany #DanyJay #alpha howls

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moved-to-void-kissed · 3 years

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💜+aqua because i dont really know anything about kh and your tag is really pretty!

Aww, thank you, Sea! I’m really glad you like it - and I’ll do my best to explain things, but sorry if it takes a lot of rambling, haha ^-^

(question source: this post by tuff-and-fluff)

Send me a 💜 + an F/O and I’ll tell you how I came up with my ship tag name for them! - so, the name of my selfship with Aqua as featured in the selfship tag is “survivors of the dark”, and this is because of something that happens as part of the story. To cut a very long story somewhat short, Aqua deliberately allowed herself to fall into the realm of darkness, a horrible and desolate place filled with Heartless (creatures formed from darkness or from people’s hearts consumed by darkness), in order to prevent her close friend and fellow Keyblade wielder Terra from falling in there himself. She sacrifices her armour and glider in order to try and save him, so she doesn’t even have any proper protection from the dark.

Shortly after falling into the realm of darkness, Aqua is attacked by a powerful collection of Heartless called a Demon Tide, but she unexpectedly ends up being saved from it by another Keyblade wielder. This is Aria, my self-insert, who has been trapped inside the realm of darkness since the ancient age of fairytales, many hundreds of years prior. (For context, time doesn’t pass properly in the realm of darkness compared to the realm of light - the games say time doesn’t pass at all, but I like to think it does, just on a much more shortened and relative scale.)

Aqua initially doesn’t trust Aria much, given that it’s clear she uses the power of darkness, and in Aqua’s experience that has only ever meant bad things. However, Aria proves to her that she is not a bad person even in spite of all that she is, and she does all she can to help protect Aqua from the many threats that face them both in the darkness. The two end up becoming very close, given that they only have each other to talk to or confide in.

Eventually, during the events of KH3, after about twelve years have passed in the realm of light, Aqua is finally rescued from the realm of darkness by her fellow Keyblade wielders, but Aria ends up getting left behind in the process (you can read my writing about this here if you’d like to know more). However, all is not lost for her - once Aqua has finally saved her own friends and their ultimate opponent, Master Xehanort, is finally defeated, she goes back into the realm of darkness to bring Aria out as well. The tow of them are finally able to rest and are returned to Aqua’s home, the Land of Departure - a key world where light and darkness exist in balance.

To summarise: Aqua is Aria’s guiding light, and Aria is Aqua’s protective shade.

to help her survive the dark.

I hope that this was alright - sorry it got pretty long! Thank you very much again for sending this in ^-^ (If there’s anything else you want me to explain, I’m always more than happy to, so please don’t hesitate to ask!!~)

#a call from the void #selfship #selfshipping #love: wayfinding waters (aqua)#selfship: survivors of the dark (aqua/aria)#self‑inserts #self‑insert: darkness' champion (aria)#out of the inbox #selfship asks #sea tag!#it really means a lot that you're interested in this so thank you!! ^-^#also this ask game was specifically about the selfship tag rather than the tag I use for aqua as a character but to explain that too -#it's ''wayfinding waters'' because aqua's name is the latin word for water (like how ven's is the word for wind and terra's means earth)#and she creates the wayfinders which are good luck charms for her friends! not to mention the way she acts as guidance for aria #so that's why that one's that!#long post #ask to tag #I always forget if BBS is eleven or twelve years before KH3 #since I know sora sleeps for a year but then everything else that happens could potentially also add up to another year #but anyway that's not really important #this post is okay to reblog!

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missallsundaes · 3 years

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And allow me to ask about your selfships in flowers now, iris and zinnia

Both of these have a little bit diff answers to the rest.

Iris - Does your self insert for your f/os source material have a detailed and complex story and character arc, or are they just kind of vibing?

EVENTUALLY I will need to do a self ship post I can link too, because I have a different self insert for each of my top threes. The SIMPLE answer is they all have detailed backstories. The detailed answer I'll put under a cut at the bottom of this post.

Zinnia - how often do you think about your f/o? Do they live in your head rent free, or do you not think about them for months on end before suddenly hyperfixating on them nonstop for a week?

; w ; I feel like you've seen my blog, I never stop thinking about my boys. Sanji and Corazon occupy the most of my brain, but if I see Buggy I get emotional over him too.

OKAY SO HERE I GO about my self inserts. All three are me in personality, interests, and talents. All three have pink hair and green eyes, and glasses.

My s/i Ace x Sanji is an art historian from the South Blue.

They were traveling on a ship that was transporting priceless paintings from one island to another for an exhibition, when the ship was attacked by pirates after the artwork to sell for the Beri it would get them. They were one of only a couple of survivors of this attack, getting away on a scrap of wood that was floating that they managed to scramble on top of. They were rescued by the Straw Hats. This fits in canon timeline between Little Garden and Drum. They fall for Sanji very quickly, despite his bad habits, infatuated with his flirty nature and constant compliments. Despite Nami's warnings that he was like that with "all women," after they come out as nonbinary to Sanji during a heart to heart, he still treats them with the love and affection that made them fall for him. They bond while cooking together, taste testing each other's food and experimenting with new recipes at dinner for the crew. Make quick best friends with Usopp over mutual loves for drawing, plants, bugs, and being snipers. (They are trained in archery.) Jinbei reminds them of their late father, and they quickly get very attracted to the Fishman, looking up to him and asking him for guidance often. Other best friend is Robin, they bond over art history and how it related to archeology, she helps teach them to read poneglyphs so they can help her. [[Sometimes trio ship with Usopp bc I also love Usopp and Sanuso is my otp]]

My s/i Ace x Corazon is a Selkie from the North Blue. This OC is Canon Divergent

Info on Selkies (mostly based on Real World Mythos, but some tweaking done for OP Universe)

Legends Say that a man who finds a selkie for a wife are blessed with a beautiful obedient wife. At least that’s the human version of the tale. In the selkie world, it is a warning, a cautionary tale: never be caught by a human man, lest you have your coat stolen and never return to the sea. Selkies are generally only found in the farthest north points of the North Blue, where seals are abundant. True to legends, Selkies can shift between human and seal form with the use of their coats or seal skins. Selkies are thought to be rarer than mermaids, but due to the nature of their transformation, true numbers are unknown outside the community. When a selkie has her skin stolen she has a compulsion to marry the person who stole it, usually with discomfort to the selkie. If her coat is willingly given to a man, it must be willingly given back. Selkies sometimes bare children to the man they marry, but when they find the hiding place of their coat they will abandon these children to return to the sea. Some legends say that these children are sometimes visited or saved by large seals later in their lives. When selkies first transform, their coat is the clothes they are wearing, so they are naked until clothed in the human fashion.

My self insert specifically!

In seal form, they are a harp seal, dusty grey with dark spots. In human form they have long dusty pink hair and deep dark green eyes, large like a seals. Their coat takes the form of a fluffy winter coat, with the same colors as their seal skin. When they are wearing their coat, it works similar to a zoan fruit, they can transform by choice, and can do a hybrid form (similar to a mermaid) as well. Not trained in any particular fighting style, they're not much use in a battle, but they know basic first aid and are a good support to a team. They witnessed the murder of Corazon by Doffy (and prior, saw Law being placed in the treasure chest). //Canon Divergent// When Doffy leaves the island, leaving Corazon dying in the snow, They nurse him back to health slowly, giving him their coat to keep warm so that he doesn't freeze to death, and builds a small fire to keep him alive. When he comes to, they help him move inside the partially destroyed building. He gives her coat back willingly after explaining to him what it means to her, and that and his deep caring nature made her fall for him. When he's well enough to travel she travels with him so that he can reunite with Law, and they 'adopt' him.

My self ship for Ace x Buggy is a performance Clown part of the Buggy Pirates.

Ace has been a part of the crew for as long as any of the other original members and harbored feelings for their captain for a very long time before eventually breaking down and confessing after feeling like they were going to lose him to impel down. Buggy is initially very awkward and flustered and nervous about the confession but admits that he had feelings too. He's a bit of a tsundere so sometimes it takes a lot to get hid real feelings out in the open. Buggy has huge jealousy issues and will be very very possessive. Has a huge soft spot for Ace. They fight with a comically large hammer, and with a similar style to capoeira where they are dancing as they fight. They are obnoxious after they're officially together, but it's cute.

#acacia self ships

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edencantstopfallininlove · 4 years

Text

To Douse

Content Warnings: night terrors, major character death (but not really), hurt/comfort, Dhar rejects toxic masculinity, tears, A BIG DAMN HUG, WAFFs galore

A/N: Sometimes you just want to comfort your faves, y’know? Set two days after the endgame.

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His eyes open slowly as he tries to make sense of where he is.

A dark room. A menacing droning. A circle of deep purple flames surrounding his body, trapping him in the void, forming a single ring of heat amidst the biting cold against exposed skin. They bite and whip at his flesh, taunting him as they go; each mark a reminder that he is expendable. Worthless. A tool. Their cruel, shrill voices grow louder, louder still. He wants to cover his ears and scream, but before he gets the chance-

A flash, and he leaps into the blue sky like a falcon, leaving the room far behind. He draws his sword and aims for the angrier of the two duelling creatures. He's barely breathing, and yet he finds words. He doesn't hear himself speak. He doesn't need to. All that matters is stopping this beast he barely recognises as his leader, his reluctant friend. And yet, from the furthest reaches, on the howling wind, he is rattled for a moment by a desolate scream. A lament, he assumes, for a future that will never be.

Through the wall of stone he constructs bursts an ungodly light, brighter than anything he had ever seen before.

His eyes widen.

Everything burns.

White.

Noise.

....

Dhar awakens with a jolt. His mind races to make sense of everything he had just seen. The contact between his back and the bed is grounding, but does little to ease his shaky breaths and pounding heart. He looks around the bedroom; it's dark, but he can somehow tell it's just as he left it. And yet, his entire body starts to quiver... No. He shouldn't be feeling like this. The best thing he can do is try to ignore it and go back to-

“Dhar?”

His train of thought is derailed by a whisper of his name. He glances left to identify the speaker. In the dark, he can just about make out garnet red hair and kind blueish-grey eyes.

Oh, Heather. She shouldn't be seeing him like this.

“My love, is something the matter?” She asks, voice deepened by the need for rest, but still soft and full of concern.

“I'm fine," Dhar lies. “Go back to sleep, will you?”

“No,” replies Heather, shaking her head. “You can't fool me that easily. I haven't seen you tremble like this before; something must be up. Please, know that you can tell me anything.”

Dhar's body tenses up at the piercing of his defenses. With a sigh, he tries to recollect the ordeal.

“It was a bad dream. I was by myself in a room, pitch black, and then there was this droning noise. I couldn't work out where it was coming from. Then there was, like, purple fire everywhere and the flames were actually lashing at me... I don't know why, but it reminded me of when Ravannavar had cast me away in our final battle. His words were just echoing around me; they were screaming at me at one point.

“Next thing I knew, I was back to when I almost died. My body was just... moving on its own - I knew what was going to happen to me, but no matter how hard I tried to stop, there was a voice in my head that kept drowning myself out. 'All you'll ever be good for,' it said. It trapped me within myself. Then I heard you screaming...” He winces at the thought. “But by that point, it was too late for me to do any more. Everything turned white and it felt like my whole body was on fire.”

Once the last detail has been described, Dhar shifts himself to face Heather fully. “I don't know, it just rattled me so much...”

Heather nods, processing the awful dream her lover had. Before he can apologize, he feels a soft hand cupping his face. He remains tense, desperate to stay in control lest he scare her away.

“Gods,” says Heather, now stroking Dhar's face, “I'm so sorry about that. That I couldn't do anything to save you... But it's over now. None of what you just saw, or heard, or felt, was real. You're safe. I'm with you. And I promise, no matter what may happen from here on out, I'll protect you. You deserve that. I couldn't live with myself if I let something happen to the man I love.”

She retracts her hand, placing both in the empty space on the mattress between the two, then leans back a little. “Do you need a hug?”

Dhar freezes again. A hug. In twenty years, in spite of past lovers and the man he once called a father, those have been hard to come by. The notion was almost taboo. They hardly came around, Dhar reasoned, because the culture of the army led him to believe that so much as needing one made him less of a man.

But that's none of his concern anymore. The army is no longer his home. He belongs by Heather's side and, while her offer came as a shock, it touched him in a way he didn't think possible.

He finally lowers his guard.

His trembling body softens and the tears that long pricked his eyes finally fall, wet and hot against his face. He stays like that for mere seconds before he pulls Heather suddenly and desperately to his chest like his life depends on it, resting his head on her shoulder as his entire being is racked by his sobs. Though taken aback at first, Heather tenderly links her own arms around his torso, tracing slow, deliberate circles into his back. Nothing in this world would harm her favourite person if she could help it.

“Shhh... You’re okay.”

Heather feels Dhar's sobs slowly, but surely, quieten and his breath deepen as she does everything in her power to calm him down, but she doesn't rush him; he needs to know that it's okay to experience these feelings and release them. Eventually, he mutters his thanks as he tentatively releases his grip on her, prompting her to do the same to him in turn.

“Come to think of it,” she says as she does, “That's the first time you've cried in front of me.”

Dhar sniffles and considers turning away. “I'm sorry, should I-”

“No, no. Don't ever apologize for that. I want you to know that it doesn't make you weak. If anything, I'm glad that you feel comfortable enough around me to let that happen. You've come a long way to let yourself be as vulnerable as you just were.” She shuffles upwards to give him a kiss on the forehead. “I'm proud of you.”

The next thing Heather knows, Dhar rockets forwards again, this time so that his mouth can meet hers. His face is still a touch damp from needed tears, but he smiles against his love's lips and his heart flutters blissfully within his bare chest. No other person makes him feel this secure and happy...

“Thank you,” he says in-between deep kisses. “You're so good to me... But promise me you'll be safe, too.”

“If it's you, then I swear it on my own life. Let’s always keep each other well.”

Satisfied that his kiss quota has more than been met, Dhar settles his head onto Heather’s chest, cuddling her from the side. He gingerly shuts his eyes and sighs in contentment.

“You don’t have to try to go back to sleep if you don’t feel up to it, you know,” says Heather, who had shifted onto her back to accommodate him.

“Well,” mutters Dhar, “I want to. I think I’ll feel a lot better if I can hold onto you like this, baby.”

Another first. Heather gives a smile crinkled with tiredness.

“Good. I’ll be here if you need me.” She places a hand in his short chalky white locks, savouring how surprisingly soft it feels to touch. Her heartbeat slows as she continues to sleepily stroke it. “Rest well, Dhar. I love you.”

“I love you too, Heather. I hope you know that. Good night.”

Perfectly at ease, Dhar feels himself sink down onto the bed and his beloved’s body. He is grounded further by the sounds of Heather’s faint breathing. His mind quietens, the memory of his nightmare fading as he slowly succumbs to sleep.

How lucky he is to love, and be loved by, a woman like her.

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@ode-to-joie @tuff-and-fluff @polaris-ships @f-orever-and-ever @gorillazgirlfriend @dazailovemail @abigailsfictionalothers @angelfairy-ships @nougatships (BTW, glad I got this done before the end of the Selfship Con!)

#selfshipping #self shipping community #selfship positivity #self ship stuff #long post cw #I Write Stuff Sometimes #I'll Bury You My Love #ok to reblog

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ajokeformur-ray · 4 years

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Hiiii! I'm very sorry for bothering you with this but may I send a selfship with Joker and Arthur? You're the only one who could understand, I need to share my love for the character ^^ Um, I'm a 27 years old hetero girl. 158 cm, long dark brown hair, black eyes, a bit chubby - and I don't like my looks at all. I'm a PhD student in Media Discourse, I also led seminars in Journalistic Genres last semester and there's a high chance that I'll be doing it again in a several months, I love every

aspect, if I’m being honest. I dream of having an academic career and becoming a professor one day. I’m good with books and studying but a failure when it comes to intimate things, I’m truly clueless in these and am oblivious to flirting and advances. I also would never admit my feelings to anyone, I prefer acting as there’s nothing. I’m an extremely kind and friendly person though I’m still a bit shy so prefer for other people to make the first step. I’m very loyal, gentle and caring and love

helping my friends. I still need my personal time though. Huge perfectionist. I love books, movies, metal and rock music, long walks. I have a huge phobia of snakes, I couldn’t even look at a picture of one. I also hate crowds and ignorant people. Ironically, I’m a Slytherin (but am very proud of my house). Nerd. Could be a bit clumsy. I usually act as the toughest girl around but get scared easily. Tomboy-ish, I don’t like wearing dresses, heels and makeup. Thank you! 💖

Hello!!! You’re no bother at all skskskk I got’chu!!! I just wanted to take a minute real quick to thank you personally for sticking by me with all the blog changes that I made. You’re one of my longest-standing followers and it truly means the world to me, so thank you so very much. I wish you all the very best and I hope you like this @rafaelina-casillas

Arthur // wc: 780.

There is an age gap between you which Arthur finds intimidating, so he would be incredibly hesitant to even start talking to you, let alone get into anything with you. He would also be intimidated by your intellect and your academic achievements. Why would you want to spend your time with him or even acknowledge him? He doesn’t understand your attraction to him, but he’s not about to question it too much. He really does love you, he finds you beautiful inside and out, and you think and feel much the same for him. He only got a little of the way through tenth grade and he was never given a choice about that or any other academic path, so he’s ridiculously proud of you for going all the way through to a PhD, and he tells you every chance he gets (for more on this, refer to your headcanon set here - I don’t want to repeat myself skskksk). He just really is so, so proud of you, always, and he would help you to practice or prepare for seminars in any way you asked him to, even though he barely understands the material you’re required to cover.

You want to become a professor one day, and again, Arthur is super proud of you. He’s almost always bragging about you to his therapist, the chemist at Helms’, his boss and co-workers (though they bully him about it and on his worst days he comes home doubting your existence, but with patience and persistence and maybe one or two angry phone calls to Hoyt do you manage to stop this)… anyone who will listen to him about you. You’re super good at academics and anything which comes out of a textbook, but you’re not so hot with intimate aspects, and that’s the same for Arthur. The two of you are painfully oblivious to the others’ attention, and I really can’t see either of you even coming together without a third party to help you out. Picture this: Gary walks into the changing room at Ha-Ha’s and asks Arthur if he’s managed to ask you out yet. “No,” Arthur hums, “She doesn’t see me that way.” Gary would sigh, genuinely confused as to how two people so emotionally intelligent can be so stupid, and he’d pat Arthur’s hand as he says, “Just try it out, mate, you never know.” Gary does know, though, and a few weeks after that when Arthur comes in to work blushing, he’s only proven right. You prefer to act as if there’s nothing there, but Arthur would slowly start to realise thanks to Gary’s careful prodding that there is something there, and he would have to somehow overcome his own insecurities and doubts. Otherwise, you two will just dance around the large elephant in the room forever.

I feel like, inevitably, Arthur would get so anxious but also so annoyed that he loves you and he knows you love him, he knows, that he’d go along with you on a walk when the grey sky darkens and bleeds out into purple and blue hues, to add some atmospheric intimacy to an emotional conversation, and he’d shyly reach out and take your hand in his, his palm sweating slightly and his throat convulsing and jumping in nerves. You look at him, shocked but also slightly relieved that he had been the one to make the first move, and you squeeze his fingers. Arthur gasps lightly, almost inaudibly, and he slides his fingers more securely into yours, and you both understand that the decision has been made. You’re together now and in the end, no words were needed. You both just… knew.

You love films but you’re super scared of snakes, and sweet, sweet Arthur would make sure to watch films which are coming out before you watch them, just to make sure that there are no snakes or anything else which scares you. He is incredibly protective, and if there was anything even slightly snake like in a film, like an eel or a water dragon or something, he’d tell you not to watch it. You hate crowds so when you go out for walks together or when either of you collects the other from work or university, Arthur would keep his hand securely in yours while you duck into back alleys, short cuts… He keeps you out of the crowds. You hate ignorant people so living in Gotham, you’re constantly irritated and on edge, but coming home to Arthur really calms you down and keeps you sane. He loves you, all of you, and come rain or shine, you’re all he needs, wants and lives for.

Joker // wc: 780 (what are the chances that these are the same word count, accidentally? skskskskk)

You had Arthur’s heart before you even really met, so immediately taken was he with you, and you stayed with him through it all until bent and broken was he forced to stand tall, or he’d die continuing as he was. As Joker, therefore, he is incredibly loyal to you. You’re literally his entire life. Without you, he really would have nothing left to lose. So no pressure, but you are the only thing, the only person, who keeps him sane and safe even from himself. He is still incredibly proud of you, super supportive and he does anything and everything that he can to let you know that no matter who he is or what he does, he still loves you so, so much. He’s completely and entirely devoted to you. It’s not unusual for him to let himself in to sit on your seminars, cheering loudly from the crowd and causing a bit of a disturbance; he’d stand up and tug on the sides of his crimson red blazer proudly as he waves at you; causing you some embarrassment. He really is just so proud of you and sometimes he literally shouts it from the rooftop, climbing out onto the fire escape and screeching out his feelings for you, laughing all the while. He wants everyone in Gotham to know that he’s “Not such a loser now, am I?”, and he’d definitely want for you to do the same, though he’d understand if you don’t. So long as he knows you love him, it’s all good.

Joker gets quite tense whenever you start talking about and making plans for your future, as stated in the headcanon set I did for you forever ago, but he would largely understand that you can be together as a couple while you lead very different separate lives. He’s still so supportive but he’s also not above using his fame, his connections with his followers, to help you to forward your career. And if an assignment doesn’t get the target grade? You might find a typo riddled email from your lecturer the day, saying that there was some kind of mistake and please don’t kill me, please. You understand immediately what happened and though you scold Joker, you find yourself unable to really tell him off because he’s shifting his weight around, his hands clasped in front of him, looking for all the world like a little boy getting told off. He just wants to help you in the best way he can. He never had any choice or chance in the life he was forced to lead, but he wants you to have all the choices available to you, no matter what. He loves you dearly. At this point in your relationship, you’ve learned how to read each other’s love languages, so you know when Joker is being affectionate with you, but if anyone else tried to do the same, you’d be completely oblivious, though Joker’s clenching jaw and savage comments will soon clue you in.

Arthur was attracted to you initially because of how kind you are, and though you’re shy, you’re also friendly so people just gravitate towards you. In a city as cruel and as shitty as Gotham, kindness is a treat so rare that people don’t even recognise it for what it is when they experience it, so the fact that you’re so kind makes Joker practically stick to you like glue. He loves you so much and he’d do anything for you; you’re endlessly loyal to each other, irrevocably in love with the other, and what you have carefully cultivated and built together is a treasure that you both cherish and protect with all that you are. You both respect each other’s privacy but you make sure to have allotted time each day which is only yours; Joker may wreak havoc all over the city but dear, sweet Arthur is never recognised in the streets; people’s eyes pass over him, so you can still go for long walks together if you want to.

You scare easily and Joker is Arthur x 1000000 so he’s even more protective of you now than he used to be, because he feels safer to be himself now. He’s almost always touching you, especially when you’re both out on the streets together, because you hate crowds and he’s very quick on his feet, so he can get you away from them effortlessly. Overall, it’s a wild ride to be in love with and to be loved by Arthur Fleck, but it’s a ride which pays off again and again and again, and once you’re together, that’s it. Ride or die, sweetheart, remember?

#rafaelina-casillas #Requests closed #arthur fleck #joker #arthur fleck matchup #joker matchup #matchup

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the-storyteller-and-her-soldiers · 4 years

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Selfship Positivity Day: 4

I, once again, am not feeling too great so I hope none of you mind if I try to keep this short, sweet, and all in one piece. I also hope that you're having a terrific day and are getting all the love you deserve!! TLDR: THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE

I guess you can say that I've always been self shipping because I can still remember sitting at the desktop computer upstairs in my old home and typing in pink font about being friends with and having a few of the guys from my favorite childhood show fall in love with me. (Thank goodness that computer got bricked and trashed!) I was taught at a young age the difference of reality from fiction and due to having a brother who was 6 years older than me, I always kept quiet about it since I still hoped that someone, somewhere was having these Fantastical Adventures and that one day I would be able to join in on them!

Daydreaming was always a way for me to feel better from the less than lovely aspects of my life. Hell, my mom even encouraged it after she and dad (and my brother some times) would have another very loud argument. It's good to see about some things don't change (referring to how daydreaming can help me feel better from that, of course!) I never really grew out of it since I always kept up the boundary of fiction and reality but as I grew older, I just got quieter about it until I only daydreamed in my head to fit in like everyone else, I had enough to make me stand out.

But I started getting back into it in terms of, "I'm gonna love that character myself!" when I was 10 or 11. My brother had picked up a copy of MGS4 as his one Christmas present that year, and seeing how I was the younger sibling I tagged along with his adventures to occupy myself. I was dealing with a lot at the time in terms of more family dysfunction, homelessness, severe bullying from my peers at school, a lot of toxicity from reaching out to the wrong strangers online, plus this is when my dysphoria due to cerebral palsy really started to manifest itself. So when the cyborg-ninja Raiden was introduced and talked about, I felt a sort of connection because I felt for once that if he was real he'd love me despite all the 'issues' that I had!

So for my own enjoyment, I picked up writing again just so I could have something nice to read back on the not so nice nights. A few years later I had a new home, a few new friends who're genuine to me, and a somewhat better family situation, and my love for writing remained just as my love for Raiden did as well. I had a few crushes both real and fictional but they weren't much or that good for me. Life was definitely more enjoyable as I found another character I felt that connection to, Nero. (Sound familiar?)

Well another year passed and with the help of my friends I grew to enjoy talkin about my interests again rather than defending them! I wanna say over the summer of my sophomore year that I finally made a Tumblr, mainly just to follow my girlfriend who does amazing art and my other friend. I ended up using my main @child-of-the-nighttime-stars as a place to post my poetry and I believe someone in the community reached out to talk or I reached out to them and that's how I discovered the community!

I lurked around for awhile before I finally got the courage to make this lovely little corner of the interwebs for me! Sure, there has been some ups and downs but all in all it's been a pretty positive experience for me and I hope I've helped add to that too!

I've made a lot of friends and they're are a lot of people who I look up to but have been too shy to reach out to more because I wanna give you my best and I'm still a bit unwell so from the bottom of my heart: Thank you for the kindness and simply being here!

@atmospheric-light @nyandereneko @roboticstarships @disneymarina @robotarmjokes @rain-selfships @24hourshipping @realities-escape @fo-love and just so many more!

#selfship positivity #selfship positivity day: the 4th one #thank you for being in my life #thank you for being kind #thank you for being here

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goth-giraffe · 4 years

Text

Not-so-quick guide to my OCs that I sometimes talk about here! xD So... Echo and Meredith, really. Plus a bonus one! Plus new art! :D

Warning, this is gonna be long so I put it under a cut :)

Anyway, because he’s the one that will definitely be mentioned most here, let’s start with..

Echo~

(I didn’t say anything about the quality of the new art xD)

Echo is my persona/self insert character..... he’s really just an alternate version of me (I like to think he’s my Alola form :3)

And like me he’s lonely so he has imaginary friends to keep him going, his current one being Loki ‘cause my current obsession is Loki

Echo is kinda hard to explain because everything about him fluctuates depending on my mood.. there are different versions of him and he doesn’t exactly have a set story or universe.. (For instance I didn’t create him specifically to hang out with Loki, but when I needed a friend I gave him Loki as an imaginary one)

Anyway! Some basic facts! He’s ace/aro, and agenderfluid (questioning?), with he/him pronouns (they/them is safe too though)

Kinda short, 5′2″ ish

Around my age, 17-20, but the mental age of anywhere from 8-17 ish.... he’s always kind of childish but how extreme varies from moment to moment

He’s AFAB but I usually draw him flat-chested because I use him as a way to combat dysphoria so, should anyone else want to draw him, best to draw him flat-chested

Loves trying on clothes! (Mainly because I like a lot of clothes but pretty much exclusively wear pajamas so... yeah I use my OCs as models)

Quiet, non-verbal in some versions (in which case he’ll write in a notepad to communicate), very shy

Sometimes makes clicking noises to calm himself

Daydreams a lot, also sleeps a lot

Gets upset over dumb things... and he’s scared of everything

Doesn’t really like being touched but sometimes snuggles Loki when he’s upset

He’s probably autistic

Probably also has borderline personality disorder.. but I’m unsure about giving him the disorders I think I have, because I don’t actually have a diagnosis (scared of doctors).. nonetheless, a lot of the symptoms that come with those disorders, he has

Likes to draw and his muse is Loki

Likes bugs, especially butterflies

Collects rocks

Eats goldfish crackers

Has really bad posture

Okay at this point I’m just adding random facts about me which is probably weird idk xD I don’t know what more to say about him soo yeah... this is my weird persona

aand next up-

Meredith~

(I liked how this art turned out tbh and I might repost it on my other blog..)

Meredith is an OC insert specifically for Marvel Cinematic Universe

She’s dating Loki, and you’ll find a lot more about her and Loki at @cuddly-loki! (It’s my blog specifically for them! :D)

Buuuut I do mention her here occasionally because I love her (and there are definitely traces of her from when this blog was cuddly-loki), so I’m including her in this :3

She’s not really into labels but she is kinda gendermeh, I think of her as a nonbinary woman (...or soft butch, but I call her that mostly when Loki happens to swap genders), but she just uses she/her pronouns

Again, meh about labels but she has dated both feminine and masculine people, and she doesn’t really experience physical attraction the same as most people

Kinda goth, dresses mostly in greyscale colours and in kind of goth/punk clothes I guess (also, she prefers androgynous clothes)

Really affectionate with people close to her, close friends and her boyfriend of course :3 (mild PDA does not make her uncomfortable but it sure does irritate Loki)

Quiet, but not shy- she’ll talk to anyone probably but she’d rather watch them until it makes them uncomfortable xD

Once you get past the being weird or goth to creep you out though, she’s very soft and pretty nice (even if still a little dark)

She’s an aspiring musician.. sorta. She plays violin and loves music.. but also has a weird relationship with music, we’ll just leave it at that for now

Works night shift as a bartender

Likes horror movies

Favourite food is pizza

Loves birds

Doesn’t like technology very much

She has a lineup of mental disorders too I’m sure, she’s an ex junkie for one and likes to feel numb to things..

Also has persistent insomnia, either related to her depression or depression meds, who knows

Lives in her apartment with a couple plants and Loki, who is still adjusting to Earth life

Like mentioned above you can find more of Meredith at my blog @cuddly-loki and if you ask questions about her or her and Loki I will probably be very happy :)

Side note: Meredith is not meant to be a self insert but we do have things in common, and I’d probably get along with her. She’s pretty chill and gets along with most people though haha

A little bonus one, I don’t know if I’ve mentioned her here before but just in case

Gwyneth~

(Okay this turned out a little messy but ehh. It was kind of just from memory, I might have still had references for her but I lost them when my jumpdrive quit so meh)

She’s a dead character that I don’t use anymore and won’t be using anymore but on the off chance I’ve mentioned her or do mention her, I’ll go ahead and add her to this as a little bonus

I created her when I first started obsessing over Loki, and she was a self insert I used to selfship romantically with him... it was okay for a brief time but in the end I hated it. It’s hard to explain, kind of personal.. but for one thing, I’m pretty sure I’m aromantic. I love soft romance stuff but I don’t really want to be part of it.

...And that’s why I killed Gwyneth and created Meredith ehehe

I’m gonna talk about her a little anyway, for one, she was an artist/painter

She liked to take pictures of strangers to paint them and I’m pretty sure that’s how she met Loki (AKA the weirdo on the sidewalk in the all black suit)

I honestly don’t remember what her actual income came from, maybe she was on disability, Idk

Anyway she was a mess. Severely depressed. Couldn’t really keep herself together.

She hid behind jokes and sarcasm though, so no one really knew how bad she was (even Loki, for a time)

She would climb trees which annoyed Loki a little bit, turns out trickster gods don’t enjoy having to climb trees just to talk to their girlfriends

Wore a trench coat as kind of a comfort item (because that’s what I did at that time)

Often got lost in daydreams...

Scared of most things...

Yeah you’ll notice she’s a lot like Echo (even the hair- pbbt). I’ve had a lot of self inserts over the years, killed off when my anxiety convinced me I was being cringey or when they didn’t feel like me anymore.. with Gwyneth it was maybe a tiny bit those things but also other stuff, like being aromantic questioning. Creating Echo was a new start for me because it was more of an exploration of where I’m comfy gender-wise... and, unlike most of my other self inserts, I don’t really age him up. But most importantly... he’s very emotionally messy but he doesn’t hide it (or else he doesn’t hide it well) because one of my things is I need to at least pretend that people would still love me if they knew how sad and broken I am. So.. yes, Echo is a sensitive character, he upsets easily and he’s usually pretty sad.. but that’s kind of the point, because he’s still loved.

.....Anyway sorry for going back to Echo. I don’t have a lot more to say about Gwyneth - she’s dead and not coming back - but she was a stepping stone to where I’m currently comfortable so, RIP Gwyneth I suppose :)

On the page I drew them on it’s kinda funny because it looks like Meredith and Echo are very uncomfortable that Gwyneth is there (which was only semi-intentional ehehe)

Echo looks cautiously curious but Meredith looks very awkward like “Oh.. so you’re back...” ..she’s hiding something... And Gwyneth’s like “So... how’s Loki been?” xD

All these characters are obviously kinda similar which is part of why I put them all here (....clearly I have an obsession with blue hair but shhh), also their connections to Loki, haha.... Meredith is definitely the most connected, Echo’s Loki isn’t real and Gwyneth is dead, so... yeah.

Anyway hopefully this was a little helpful. I might make better guides for Meredith and Echo sometime but for now this works. Also, always feel free to ask questions about them!! :)

#I had to keep adding stuff for echo to make up for the fact that I CANNOT stop myself from rambling about meredith xD #oh you wanna hear about echo? LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MEREDITH #pffft #but seeing as how echo will be on this blog a lot more I tried to give him the longest description thing #also I think I'll make a proper profile/reference thing for meredith sometime so I'm not gonna worry about putting this on cuddly-loki #...maybe the meredith drawing though :3 #giraffe rambles #long post #my ocs #echo #meredith #gwyneth

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kinsbin · 6 years

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May I ask all the questions for the self shipping ask meme?

Absaloutely you may!! -cracks knuckles- here we go:

Under a read more though because THIS GOT LONG KIDS.

1. When did you start self shipping and why?Honestly? I’ve self-shipped ever since I was young. My first OCs were, naturally, self-inserts. I never quite knew what they were called until later, but, I knew that I loved shipping myself with characters because, well, I love them. As people and as characters there was something about them that I just adore and want to appreciate in a way. Self shipping was a way to do that and I super adore it.

2. How long have you been self shipping?GOD UH- Ever since I was 11 I think! One of my first sketchbooks has self ship stuff in it tbh (/v\);;

3. Why do you self ship now?Because I want to show my undying love for my favorite characters and, due to trauma as a child and in the past, I have difficulty expressing my intimate self/emotions to people outside of the three friends I’ve known for seven years. I like scenarios I can control and people who I am secure with. F/Os, for me, represent those ideals the best.

4. Which of your self insert characters is the most developed?GOD my Overwatch chara or my Naruto chara honestly. My Naruto character has existed since the dawn of time so she kind of wins I think. But my Overwatch, in terms of storylines and stuff, has more fleshed out info.

5. Are your self insert characters 100% you or are they an exaggerated version of yourself/leaning toward an OC?100% me! I have a separate sort of hole or mind place for actual OCs, and they do have their own stories and ships and things! My self insters are pure indulgence and are always exactly me.

6. If your self inserts are closer to OCs what are some similarities they have with you? What are some differences?

7. Do you have a ‘type’ when it comes to f/os?-sweats- dON’T DO THIS TO ME DON’T CALL ME OUT- I fall for Assholes with good back stories so easily it isn’t even funny. You’re snarky? You’re shown a lot as an antihero? You’ve killed a few people? You tell me about your reasoning and the pain behind it and i’M IN LOVE WITH YOU.

8. Your top 3 OTPs among your own selfships?McXeen (Mccree x Xena from Overwatch) Is my #1 OTP of all time for myself honestly no one will ever beat it out in rankings!!!

#2 goes to BokuXeenKuro (Bokuto x Kuroo x Xeen from Haikyuu) because god I love my big buff boys.

#3 is hard though it’s either Xena76 (Soldier 76 x Xeen from overwatch) orrr Xenahomaru (Xena x Sesshomaru from Inuyasha) Because both are good.

9. Your top 5 OTPs among others in the community?I CAN’T DO THIS BECAUSE HONESTLY ALL OF MY MUTUALS ARE SO CUTE WITH THEIR SHIPS AND CHARACTERS THAT I CAN’T HANDLE PICKING FAVES. EVERYONE IS MY OTP.

10. Has a roleplay blog for one of your f/os every interacted with you?Nah, not that I know of, but I don’t feel bad about it or nothing! I’m happy in my little indulgent corner. I would scream though if one ever did I swear hoghghg.

11. Are you an artist or a writer in the community? Or do you do something else entirely?I draw a lot and I write a lot? I don’t know if I’d consider myself big in the community (especially bc of the hiatus I accidentally took woops) but I do love doing those things, so, I’ll consider myself both an artist and writer I guess!

12. Name a few of your favorite things about self shipping.I love the confidence it can give people as well as the comfort it can provide. The safety net of F/Os is warm and positive. I like the control you have over the scenarios to make them as comfortable and tailored to yourself as you want within limits. I also love the variety of fluff and smooches that comes out of it!!! Everything about self shipping can be nice if given to the right people ;v;

13. Talk about a positive experience you’ve had with the community.HMMMMM I’ve had a lot honestly! One of them was when a few people just. Messaged me and we started talking about or F/Os and making silly headcanons together and drawing stuff for one another! It was relaxing and super supportive. I adored it ;v;

14. Finally, talk about a few of your favorite self shippers!! (Honestly, talk about as many as you would like!)OHOHOHOHOHOOHHOOHOHOHOH EVERYONE IS SO GOOD HONESTLY.But my fave of all faves will have to be a few people here.

@cheripi is one of my favorites! their art is so adorable and their relationships with theirr F/Os are so detailed and complex I do adore their dedication! I also love how they, like me, self inserts with visuals extremely close/basically themseves it makes me feel comforted that others do it to. they’re such a ray of light i adore themmmmm

@starscloset is another beautiful one! I love her. She’s the one who got me confident enough to make a selfship blog actually! seeing her and the positivity she brought with hanzo warmed my heart and encouraged me to embrace my selfship side of life ;v;

@momomochaccino has been a wonderful friend and positive influence ever since i’ve joined this community! they have such gorgeous art and sweet, positive relationships with their F/Os that I strive to have with my own. They’re super fun to talk and spend time with also!! Just all around a good person

@gamzeeismyboyfriend is an INSPIRATION to me honestly. they have such a healthy relationship with an f/o who not only is one of my favorite characters but just gets so much flack from the community that it hurts . Seeing another person love and cherish gamzee makara makes me so happy for them together ;v; the positivity they share in the community is super important to me!

@lildreamysoul is another person whose been around since i started this blog and, like the others, their positivity is so warming to see on my dash! they helped me to feel comfortable and encouraged more posts and openness to everyone of their mutuals and it warmed me up enough to make more posts.

all in all the community is filled with lovely people whom i adore yoU’RE ALL GREAT

#chchchickennugget #kinley talks #asks #sORRY FOR ALL THE @S TO THE PEOPLE I TAGGED FOR THAT LAST ONE

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shiroe-is-my-baby · 6 years

Note

2, 4, 12, and 13!

Thanks hon! ^^

2. How long have you been self shipping?

I’ve been selfshipping for as long as I can remember, but of course back then I didn’t know that it was selfshipping and it was an actual thing. It’s only been recent years when I’ve been really open about it, thanks to the community here. I realized how a lot of other people were just like me and that made things easier. Because I didn’t feel as weird, and I have so many awesome friends because of it!

4. Which of your self insert characters is the most developed?

Well, they’re all not very developed unfortunately :/ I’m very bad about fully finishing my inserts whether it be the time or just because I’m not really set on an idea. But I guess my log horizon insert is the most developed, but even she could use a lot more.

12. Name a few of your favorite things about self shipping.

God, there’s so many things. I love that it gives me confidence and helps me feel better about myself. I have so many problems accepting me the way I am, and every day that I think of Shiroe accepting me… it makes things easier. Because if he could love me, so can I.

But also because it helps me be creative and live in a world where I’m happy with the fictional characters I love. I feel so loved and it’s just an amazing feeling I feel like everyone should experience. Because holy fuck fictional characters are a big part of my life. And I’m not ashamed to admit that. Shiroe and my other faves have helped me more than I could ever fucking say.

But also the friends that I’ve fucking made. I love coming online and having people support me and supporting them makes me feel good. I wouldn’t have met these awesome people, and of course my amazing best friend (im looking at you ;3) without it. And I really, really find that amazing. That such a thing like this could bring me closer to such amazing people.

And I love that it gives me the opportunity and the drive to do better! I have started drawing because of self shipping! And look how far I’ve come. It’s such a relief to know that I have gotten to a position where I feel fine to say that I have art and I make drawings with my faves and I’m fucking good. I can be better, but I’m so much better than I started. And I just… feel so fucking good.

13. Talk about a positive experience you’ve had with the community.

Well, besides for the above! XD

When I’m having a down day, or anyone for that matter, this community is so good about positivity. We’re always there to rush to someone’s aid if they need it. I love that this community is so caring and just amazing.

There’s too many to honestly say, and I think my above answer gave a lot to that XD I guess just the overwhelming love and support on days when I need them most from just some amazing fucking people. Now, I’m emotional, great XD

#the queen answers #self shipping angel

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pizzasteveofficial · 7 years

Text

Snuff Porn (pt. 1)

Author’s Note: I’m on a roll with the sins so I’ll post them here again. I’m hoping to get my AO3 account soon so I can start putting them on there so they’re easier to find instead of trying to sift through my mess of a blog. I ~would~ recommend my first 2 stories How The Tables Have Turned and You Can’t Escape Me That Easy for some back story and more delicious gore and smuts but like I said, I’m not gonna tell you how to live your life. Always happy when people pay attention to me and my work. Anyways, enjoy my selfship drabbles feat. Nac and Strade per usual. No smuts in this part though. Part 2 is deliciously gory and Part 3 is deliciously smutty!

WARNINGS: Kidnapping, Violence Mention, Misogyny/Chauvinism (from guy at the bar), Actually this chapter isn’t as bad and isn’t as NSFW as the other ones

It has been two months since Nac had been “dating” Strade to put it in the best terms. Their relationship, however, was far from a normal relationship. Their “courtship” consisted of Strade kidnapping Nac usually at random times at night to bring her to his house or he’d just break into her apartment at night. While together, they had a lot of sex that was kinky and violent in nature. Strade tried his best to keep any violence to parts of her body that wouldn't be visible to others when she was out and about, but he gets carried away sometimes so she'd have a cut here and there or a bruise that she’d have to chalk up to her being clumsy at her job.

Although his methods were unconventional, creepy, and sometimes annoying and inconvenient, Nac did enjoy this secret relationship and was glad to have the title of “Strade’s pet”. The sex was amazing, he had a lot of money so he bought her all kinds of gifts, he knew how to cook, and kept her well fed. Those pros definitely outweighed the con of him “visiting” or kidnapping her randomly.

However, it has been a week since she’s seen Strade, and she started to wonder if he had moved on and found a new “pet” that he could actually keep in his home full time. This thought depressed her for all the hours she was awake.

One afternoon she wrapped up the projects at her place of employment before leaving to walk to her car. As she was walking, a familiar expensive looking car rolled up next to her. She smiled, the depressing thought of him finding a new pet being shattered immediately. She quickly took her smile away to face the car with the best annoyed look she could conjure up onto her face.

The car window rolled down and she saw Strade sitting in the driver's seat wearing all black and a pair of sunglasses. “Buddy!” he greeted her.

“You're going to kidnap me in broad daylight?” She shook her head. “Is that really a good idea.”

“Mmm actually,” the German man patted the passenger seat next to him. “I was hoping you’d actually come in without a fight this time.”

The dark haired girl was absolutely shocked by what he was saying. “For real?” She asked in disbelief.

“C’mon, Buddy, just get in the car I don't want to have to make you.” He grinned darkly.

Nac rolled her eyes. “Alright hang on let me just grab my purse from my car and I'll be right in.”

She quickly went to her car to grab her purse before jogging back to Strade’s car. She opened the door and got in. After she got in, he immediately took off.

“So what's with the change in your method of picking me up?” She asked, putting her keys in her purse before setting it down in front of her.

“I was actually hoping to talk to you about something, and we can't talk if you're unconscious.” He told her.

Talk? Strade, talk? This was definitely really odd, as he’s more of a do first ask later kind of guy.

Nac shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “D-Did I do something wrong?”

Strade giggled and used one hand to cup her cheek, keeping the other hand on the wheel. “Oh buddy, of course not! What could my precious pet ever do wrong?”

Nac let out a sigh of relief, even if she was still kind of suspicious as to why Strade just wants to talk and not be crazy for once.

“I figured there are a few things you need to know and I was hoping you could assist me in some endeavors.” He explained, putting the hand that was once cupping Nac’s cheek down by his side.

Nac nodded. “Alright, I'm all ears!”

“I need your eyes and your mouth too, so don't be all ears.” He giggled at his own joke.

Nac tried to stifle a giggle and give him an annoyed look, but his expression and his goofy jokes were too much for her.

“I love how you try so hard to act too good for anything, but you can't resist my charms, mein liebling.” He gave her a pat on the head.

Nac gave the best pout of defiance she could make. “I-I…” she stammered before sighing. “Alright, alright. What do you need to tell me?”

“I'm not really a mechanic.” He told her.

“Wow. Great. So interesting.” Nac said sarcastically.

He shot her an unamused look before bringing his eyes back to the road. “Do you know how I make all this money then?”

Nac shrugged. “I don't ask those questions of you. I figured if you let me do whatever I want and spare killing me despite the fact I tied you up and put a shock collar on you as well as let one of your very beloved pets go free, I should just be appreciative and grateful for that.”

Strade made a disappointed pout. “Oh, buddy. You think that little of me? I'm offended!”

Nac tried to backpedal her statement. The last thing she wanted to do was offend Strade. “Well it's not like I'm not interested! I just didn't want to bother you! I should be happy that I'm alive and that I'm your free ranged pet, because it is a huge honor.”

Strade gave her a wide grin as he pulled into the driveway of his house. “Oh buddy!” He stroked her chin. “How long have you been my pet? Don't be so shy!”

She blushed as he stroked her chin. He parked the car before shutting it off. “I know how you like pizza, so I got you some pizza,” he told her before exiting the car. He shut the door and walked around to the passenger side to let Nac out, considering the passenger side still purposely doesn't have a handle on the inside. “We can finish our conversation inside.” He helped her out of the car.

Nac took in the sight of his house before her. She remembers seeing it that time she escaped from him upon their first meeting, but she wasn't paying too much attention then. This is the first time she's actually seen the outside of his house, normally he kidnaps her and she just wakes up inside chained to the couch or the bed. It was a very nice house, absolutely something she’d never be able to afford on her own. He definitely had a lot of money even if the house wasn't the most fancy thing money could buy.

They went inside where, as he said, he had ordered her a pizza and it was sitting on the living room coffee table. Nac squealed excitedly as she hurried over to the couch to sit down. As she did she opened the pizza box rather aggressively and immediately took a slice to eat.

Strade laughed. “You're too cute!” He sat down next to her and picked up a slice from the box. “So, how do you think I make my money?”

Nac shrugged with a mouthful of pizza. “I don't know” she confessed.

“Well,” he started casually, taking a bite of his slice of pizza. “I run a popular snuff website on the deep web where people choose the tools I use and I kill people for them using the tools they choose.” He explained this very nonchalantly, like as if it was completely normal to kill people on film.

Nac stopped chewing for a minute to look at him in shock. “Uh…” she swallowed whatever was in her mouth.

“What?” Strade gave her a devilish grin.

“It still stands you're a psycho, and I shouldn't be surprised, but damn.” Nac shook her head before taking another bite of pizza.

Strade laughed. “Why damn? Does it disgust you?

Nac shrugged. “I mean a little, but as long as I'm not the one being killed I don't care.”

Strade stroked her hair. “That's a shame that it disgusts you, I was hoping you would help me out in tonight's live stream.”

Nac gave him another look of pure shock. “W-What?”

“Yeah,” he began. “You could pick the victim from the bar and help me kidnap them, then you could help me torture them and kill them! And then, since this is a special live stream, the viewers will choose the special bonus surprise at the end!”

Nac shifted uncomfortably. “Uh, what's the special bonus surprise?” She looked kind of terrified. Was he actually going to kill her?

“It's sexual in nature, I think you'll enjoy it.” He gave her a wink.

Strade was nuts, so this could really mean anything. She thought about it for a bit. The worst that could happen is that he kills her, which would suck but that means no more working and debt. However, Strade has been pretty good to her so far despite being an absolute maniac. He's especially great to her in sex, as every time they go at it she's filled to the brim with the absolute best concoction of pain and pleasure she only ever could have imagined prior to meeting him.

“Well?” Strade asked her, continuing to stroke her hair.

Nac thought for another moment before nodding. “Alright, I'm in. You've been good to me so far I'm sure this will be a fun experience for us!”

Strade had a big giddy grin on his face. “Excellent! This will be fun for everyone!” he started before thinking for a second. “Mmm, maybe everyone except the poor bastard we torture and kill on camera.”

Nac giggled, even if she had a strange feeling in her gut. Not that she was in danger, but rather, she's never actually killed someone before. She normally feels bad for people and doesn't like to see them die unless she feels they absolutely deserve it.

“So, what kind of victim were you thinking of finding?” Strade asked. “Male? Female? Quiet? Loud?”

“Maybe an annoying male, preferably a misogynist.” She told him.

“You sure love slinging that word around!” Strade giggled.

“Because it's true!” Nac retorted.

“Alright, alright,” he shook his head before showing her a flyer for a bar. “I usually like small bars that are pretty quiet, but I know this place gets pretty rowdy and loud for a small bar. It's easy to distract someone and get them alone to where we can just take them.”

Nac read the flyer and nodded. “Alright. So what's the plan?”

“You're going to go in and find the guy you want to kill, then you're going to seduce him into leaving the bar with you, and then we're going to take him away!” He told her with a big smile.

“Alright, sounds like a plan!” She told him, holding her hand up for a high five, which he quickly reciprocated.

----------------------------

Strade had dropped her off in front of the bar and went to go park somewhere inconspicuous. Nac wore a plain black t-shirt, black jeans, dark makeup, and boots. She entered the bar, which was actually very noisy. There were a lot of guys in the bar, loudly cracking jokes and laughing with their friends. Rock music played loudly in the background.

She sat down at the bar and continued scoping out the potential victims hanging out in the bar. The bartender came over to take her drink order, but she only asked for a water. The bartender promptly got her water before going off to tend to the next person.

As Nac continued to observe, she was suddenly interrupted by a man’s voice.

“Hey there sexy. What you doin’ just sipping water?” The man asked.

Nac turned to face him and saw that he was a young man around her age with dark hair. He wore a t-shirt with a very old tv show printed on it and cargo shorts. He had a trilby placed atop his head. Nac grinned at the sight of him, because just from looking at him she could tell that she wanted to help Strade kill him.

“My name is Brian. M’lady, may I get you a drink?” He asked her.

Nac nodded and motioned for him to sit down next to her. “Absolutely! I'll have a pineapple margarita!” She told him, making it a point to order the most expensive drink on the menu.

“Oh, but of course!” Brian nodded sitting down. He obnoxiously snapped his fingers for the bartender, who dutifully came over. “A whiskey on the rocks for me and a pineapple margarita for the lady!”

Nac smiled, appreciative that Strade fed her pretty good before she came to the bar. The extra food in her belly would help absorb the alcohol so that she didn't get too drunk to perform her duty of kidnapping this guy.

“I like your shirt, Brian!” Nac told him, even though she had no idea what it was.

“Thank you, but I doubt you even know what this is.” He said snobbishly.

“I don't, I'm sorry. I just like the art style.” She answered honestly.

“Ah, that's ok, I will educate you m’lady!” He reassured her almost condescendingly before going off on a tangent about the shitty show on his shirt.

Nac did her best to look very interested, amazed, and impressed even though she wasn't at all.

The bartender brought their drinks and he quickly snatched up his whiskey and drank it. He had a look of disgust on his face as he drank it, though, which indicated to Nac that he doesn't really drink all that much and ordered that to impress her. She definitely needed to use this to her advantage.

“Wow, you're so lucky to have so much tolerance to alcohol like that!” She complimented. “Men who can handle their liquor are so impressive!”

He gave her a smug grin before obnoxiously snapping for the bartender. “Oh you have not seen anything yet. I bet I am more impressive than any man you have ever seen!”

He asked the bartender for another whiskey on the rocks before receiving yet another one, which he quickly downed.

After his second drink, Nac got him to open a conversation with her about himself. Apparently this was his first time at a bar, where his online friends on Reddit told him would be a good place to “pick up chicks”. He also used some of the pickup artist lines on her like “you would look cuter if your muffin top wasn't showing, but you're in luck because I happen to like muffins.” and “if your face was just a little thinner you'd be a gorgeous model, but do not worry because I have found beauty where other savage men would not have.”

Nac pretended these horrible lines worked on her as she encouraged him to order another round of drinks for them. He did just that and downed his third whiskey on the rocks, which at that point made him extremely loopy. Nac didn't touch her second margarita and just watched the greasy boy before her spout off chauvinistic garbage to try and impress her.

She waited for the three whiskeys to take their toll on the man before gently touching his shoulder. “Brian, do you wanna get out of here?” She asked with a flirty grin as she batted her eyes.

The man let out a loud “WOOH!” before clapping his hands together. “SCORE!” He got up and twirled around before pretending to throw a basketball and make a score. “SWISH!”

Nac giggled darkly as she got up and took his hand. “Oh Brian, you're so funny!” She lied as she stroked his arm.

Brian felt confident as he stepped out of the bar with this beautiful goth lady on his arm. Nac gently guided him to the back of the building, where Strade was parked.

Brian looked confused. “You parked over here? This is no place for a lady to park! What if some savage tries to rape you?”

Nac laughed. “You shouldn't be worried about me,” She stepped back and gave him a very dark grin. “You should be worried about you!”

“W-What?” Brian looked even more confused, unaware of the fact Strade was now right behind him.

“Hey, buddy, that's my pet you're hitting on and I don't appreciate it!” The German man told Brian before putting his hands on his shoulders.

Brian’s eyes widened as he stayed perfectly still. “W-What the fuck is going on?”

“You're coming with us!” Nac giggled evilly and clapped.

“Y-You bitch! You set me up!” Brian tried to protest and escape Strade’s grip.

Strade overpowered Brian and ended up slamming him head first against the brick wall hard enough to knock him out.

#btd #boyfriend to death #strade #btd strade #self shipping madness #self shipping

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selfship-sideblog · 3 years

Text

Self insert

So I think it's time I make a proper self insert, or at least try to. I didn't want to make a post for her from the beginning because I hadn't settled on many things and changing stuff up constantly. But now I think I'm mostly decided on everything. I'll update this post if I feel like I want to change her appearance or story more, but that's unlikely to be anytime soon.

Now let's get into it!

🦄 In general about her:

Her clothes may change depending on the show (or my mood tbh lol) but again, it's unlikely. Her personality isn't really set in stone and depending on the source it will be a little different, but this is to get a feel for it.

She also usually has a shoulder bag with her, but I kind of forgot about it.

She’s very similar to me and that’s why sometimes I use “I” for her.

(Under the cut for details for each source because this got a little long lol)

🦄 For specific sources:

💜 Ninjago

She is a college student (18yr old) in Ninjago city and is also a fanfic writer. She mainly writes for the Starfarer comic series. There’s one reader that always likes and comments on her fics and so they’ve gotten rather close over the internet. They meet at a convention irl and then she finds out he's Lloyd Garmadon, the green ninja. Later the ninja get thrown out of the monestary by Sensei Wu to "get a feel for a normal life". With nowhere to stay Lloyd asks his new friend for help. She let's them crash at her place for a while until they manage to get an apartment and jobs.

Mostly funny shenanigans from there on, nothing much happening lol.

This takes place after season two with minor adjustments like their age (although there are no official ones and I always felt like they never grew, like they stayed teenagers throughout the years lol) making them all around 17 or 18. As much as I love the canon I can't properly fit Diana in there so it will mostly go through it's own path, although I may keep some things from canon. And I may or may not make her a ninja later (a non-elemental one).

I also have an AU for this and it’s completely different from canon. It’s sort of a Youtuber AU or something like that. Like a group of young adults living in the same house and may or may not share a channel where they post all kinds of silly videos and stuff. Idk it just sounds so fun!

It's mostly slowburn and oblivious mutual pining between Diana and Lloyd. My selfship with him is pretty simple, fluffy and fun all around, just doing stuff, geeks being geeks and all. I don't want to add angst here because this is more of a comfort ship because it all started with him and it just reminds me of happy times when I first started selfshipping.

💜 Voltron:

I wanted to make two s/is for Voltron, one human and one Galra, however I couldn't design Demira (the Galra one) and so for now it's just an insight about her personality and relationship with Keith and other characters. When I do manage to properly make her I'll update this post to add the image.

Keith:

Demira is a half-Galra, a member of the Blades of Marmora. She got recruited shortly after her younger brother's death. Her missions are usually infiltration. Keith is often partnered up with her at the beginning. Their interactions start of a little awkward but they both start getting interest in the other's culture and soon start getting along. Demira with some of the other blade members are like their own small family and Keith slowly starts feeling like he belongs with them.

Their meeting is in season 3 I believe, when Keith officially joined the Blades, and their relationship develops until Keith leaves for the mission to find Krolia. It gets kind of complicated after this because he was gone for a long while and then the journey back to Earth. (I don't know how anything played out during seasons 7 & 8 so until I understand that part will be overlooked).

This pairing is more angsty since both of them are dealing with personal demons but is still wholesome.

(Also if you couldn’t tell I love the Dads of Mamora trope in voltron fics so I had to include it lol).

Lotor:

Diana is a young adult (idk how old, idc at this point lol), who has a stable job as a software developer. Life’s pretty normal. Until a space shuttle drops from the sky in the forest near her house. Obviously she goes to check it out and what does she find? A crashed space ship. What comes out of the crashed space ship? A tall, drop dead gorgeous purple alien! Unfortunately he is injured so she decides to help him. The only thing she can do tho is watch as he patches himself up because he refused to let unknown substances touch him. But he has no other choice but to trust the girl who found him. He starts learning about Earth and tries to blend in with humans.

This is set in an au without Voltron. Lotor is still the Prince of the Galra, but nothing else of canon is here. I imagine him being a curious guy and wanting to explore which brings him to Earth. I’m kind of unsure how I’d want everything to go from there, but I just wanted a normal alien/human romance if that makes sense.

💜 Death Note:

Diana is a college dropout this time, but has quite a lot of knowledge about technology and coding. She tries a lot of things and goes in different places. For some time she was very interested in true crime stories and of course found out about L. Somehow she managed to hack into his computer and decides to mess with him by suddenly closing his programs, misplacing his documents, annoying but harmless stuff. Ofc if anything L has tape on his camera, so she still doesn't know how he looks like. One time she wants to talk to him and she does through the notepad program. Most of their pre-relationship interactions are through Notepad and talking about unimportant stuff. When a difficult case comes up involving a computer virus L decides that he needs to take precautionary measures, aka secure his computer. And who better is for a job like that than the person who managed to hack into it in the first place. He only reveals himself to her really late when he decides he can trust her.

That was a little long lol.

Honestly this probably doesn't even make sense, but I don't care. I'm not much for mysteries and the stuff, I just want a nonsensical plot and a good time with L.

I just see them as really opposite but in a way that they have the thing the other lacks. Diana is more carefree and energetic, bringing L with her for different activities she is trying out, trying to make him experience life differently. L on the other hand is more serious and secretive, making Diana grounded on the matter at hand and become more cautious. I just see them developing a little while having fun. Sure, that fun is sometimes late night car rider and sometimes running for their lives from the killer.

This is obviously pre-canon and once we get into the canon timeline things will get more serious and sad but we're not talking about that.

💜 Bungou Stary Dogs:

Diana is best friends with Chuuya. They got close during their time with the Sheep and when Diana refused to betray Chuuya the way the others did they've stuck with each other ever since. Ofc that means she also got in the Port Mafia because of her ties with Chuuya and having an ability didn't hurt either (even if it was a little weak compared to the rest). She has the ability to control light, but she has to have a source from where the light is coming from. However she can use the heat from certain sources like sunlight, fire, candles, but the more damadge she wants to do the more energy she uses up. She is with the Black Lizard and is somewhat an assassin like Gin, and is friends with them. Even though she knows of Dazai and Akutagawa she isn't friends with them, but instead knows of the former from Chuuya (they are partners after all) and the latter from Gin. After Dazai left, Akutagawa starts training under Chuuya. They become friends and from that Akutagawa becomes friends with Diana. They become a somewhat weird trio but they are very tight and wouldn't trade it for a thing.

Honestly I love thinking of this ship mostly during post Dark Era but pre-canon. It just has the time to develop better. Once the canon timeline starts it kind of becomes a mess with some complications and ofc angst, but it still works out in the end.

Something like Gin, Diana has a different outfit for when she’s on the job, darker colors and all, but otherwise she has a softer style (sometimes looking like a mom lol)

The reason for her non-Japanese name is that both her parents are from Europe, but live in Japan.

(Pls help, I still don't have a tag for this ship)

💜 Harry Potter:

I’m kind of all over the place with this one tbh lol. At first I wanted a sweet Hufflepuff girl, maybe a half-blood, but then I got an idea for a squib s/i and I haven’t been able lot go of it. So for now I’m not going to give any details (because frankly there aren’t any lol), but if I ever need to answer an ask or to explain things about this ship I’m going with whatever background I feel like atm.

💜 Bakugan Battle Planet:

Also kind of unsure about this one, especially since idk if Magnus is a platonic or romantic f/o (kind of leaning towards platonic as of now tho). I haven’t caught up with the show either so when I do, I’ll probably make an insert then.

#my s/i #self insert #self ships #self shipping #my ships #selfships #selfshipping #bsd self insert #ninjago self insert #voltron self insert #death note self insert #I may regret tagging the fandoms too #Oh well :D #sweet love #blade partners #extraterrestrial #sugar panda #magical

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satans-codpiece · 4 years

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ok fr im gonna post this bc this is amazing @ 16 y/o me, what happened to you? selfshipping with a character not a single person on this hell of an earth cares about while staring the entire SPN cast straight in the eyes and being like fuck y’all?

[December 27th, 2012]

HE hadn't thought dying would feel quite like this. Or maybe he did, to an extent. Weightless, like he was floating was to be expected, feeling lightheaded, especially as the almost blinding light blasted from the stone. "It wall went white" doesn't have the same ring to it, though. He had seen that poor woman earlier be vaporized by the stone's power, and he was sure that was what was happening to him right now. Individual atomic bonds being ripped apart by the raw energy being thrown off by Stonehenge.

Even as an astrophysicist he hadn't expected to die such an unpredictable death. Maybe in an accidental atomic explosion at the worst, maybe get cancer or something. Much domestic deaths available than this seemed almost appealing, but in the end, he had saved the world in his death. He knew that long before he left the car with Dr. Jennings. He would die at Stonehenge, even if he failed. Getting the key to the center rock would cause what was happening: this discharge of power on a much smaller scale than the one hat would've occurred had he failed. The one that would redirect the atomic bomb, and then the one after procuring enough of the magnetic power from the Earth's poles.

That was why he left his ring with Dr. Jennings, and faked hope when she said she'd be giving it back. He would never see her again. A chestful of anticipation and the weight of quite possibly the literal world rested on his shoulders and he set out with determination.

Which he was successful and lead to this feeling of weightlessness, of falling even. To be honest he hadn't even realized he was falling until he realized his side and leg burned with pain. He had thought with just enough clarity to think that wasn't the pain supposed to stop once your brain had been picked apart one atomic-level bond at a time? Weren't you supposed to stop thinking? And in that moment he opened his eyes and he could swear on every book of astrophysical theory that he was actually falling. The light spiralling around his was not his near death experience, he was actually falling Goddamn it all. Hell, for all he knew he was actually being taken to see who the hell made Stonehenge and the key and terraformed Earth in the first place billions of years ago. He admitted earlier that there were forces they simply couldn't explain with modern theories, and maybe even any theories to ever trickle through peer reviews. Maybe they had something else at work in their terraforming device, they wouldn't even have to know.

The weightlessness was expected, the falling was a bit of a surprise but still could maybe to chalked up to last-minute hallucinations in an attempt to keep his mind in a single piece. It was the collision of his back to a very solid, very hard surface that had Dr. Glaser sputtering and trying to keep his focus on the material world.

Landing had jostled his already tender gunshot wound, and he groaned despite himself. This was so much less graceful than just being ripped apart or vaporized. He really hoped that at least the cult follower was being as disgraced as himself. Maybe a little more dead, since he did after all wish death upon all the humans in the world. That wasn't very nice.

Jacob stared up from his position on what he assumed was the ground of some abandoned building. The walls were concrete, maybe in a basement somewhere- supposing it was of human origins. The walls were old and a dingy gray, obviously uncared for and let to fall into disrepair. On the ceiling, however, Jacob could not comment since above him was only a swirling vortex of light and color: one that he had obviously just fallen from. He thought for perhaps a moment he had fallen through some sort of wormhole, created by the extreme energy at the stone and forced a counterpart white hole somewhere and had sucked him through. Though that hardly explained how he was still alive: a black hole would crush him under the extreme internal gravity. Not to mention it would also be ripping apart Europe by now.

No, Dr. Glaser was contented to ponder on how he got here as he bled to death slowly. It was a sad death, he thought. He much preferred being vaporized to this, at least in being vaporized he could hope someone would make a movie for him one day, with decent special effects for being vaporized. He could be famous, but no, like this he would be that one scientist that ends up being found in 30 years and then accused of faking his death for publicity. At the scale of everything that had happened surely it would be even more incredible than if they had found Hitler's body in South America. He pondered it a moment more.

Maybe not quite that sensational. It would certainly still rattle the gossiping TV shows for a couple weeks. No, he contented to pressing a hand to his wound which still oozed warm blood over his fingers and into this clothing. Judging from the state of the room and likelihood that he was in an evacuated zone, he hadn't expected anyone to show up. He certainly did not expect a loud cry of "Jesus Christ! Sam, Cas! Get in here!"

Actually he was expecting to really be hallucinating that. He looked lazily, the blood loss finally digging at his consciousness, and saw a large pair of too-green eyes staring back at him. The man, - oh God, Jacob could swear he looks just like Jensen Ackles, the American actor, pushes Jacob's hand out of the way to press a cloth to his wound. "Hey man, it's going to be okay, alright?" Jacob's head is too blurry to really understand what's going on, but is clear enough to know that that tone is more like 'I'm saying this so you wont freak out on me' than 'its okay'.

He expected to die anyway so it's all good. Maybe not with an actor trying to keep his blood inside his body, but hey it'll only make the story even better. He could probably get by with better last words than "It was a robot head", but he could settle for dying in an actor's basement. The man turned around again and yelled: "Sam! Cas!"

This time another man appeared from a doorway, rushing over to the first. He was remarkably tall, Jacob knew for certain even from his state on the floor. And now maybe Jacob could start having a panic attack or laughing off this hallucination because god dammit the other man was fucking Jared Padalecki. So either he was dying on the set of Supernatural, or something was definitely off. He recalled distantly that he had called him Sam, not Jared. And now he was sure he was hallucinating: this was absurdly nuts. Yeah, maybe Sabrina had told him that it was real and she was stuck on the wrong side, but come on. She was having some sort of mental breakdown when she said that. She'd said his alternate on the other side was an angel but this was stupid, this was ridiculous.

"Oh my god, Dean, he looks just like..." Jared (Sam?) mumbled, grabbing a hold of the wound on Jacob's leg. Dean- Jensen- nodded somewhere between numbly and grimly. And then around the corner came another body. Oh Christ, why would this have to be his pre-death hallucination, why couldn't he be receiving his award for astrophysics again, that would be nice.

"Move," The Jacob lookalike said, voice way too low and gravelly to be correct with his body. But they moved and Cas(?) moved in close, squinting at Jacob and all Jacob could was try to not cough up any blood that he felt trickling in his throat. Cas pressed two fingers the Jacob's temple and -now its certain he's hallucinating, but whatever- he was just fine. He gasped, happy to not feel restricted by the pain in his abdomen.

"What do we do...?" Sam began, looking helplessly between Cas and Dean. Jacob was still trying to sort his thoughts.

"Do you know Sariel?" Cas questioned, and it took him a moment to realize his lookalike was talking to him. He thought over a minute. Sariel? No, he didn't think he knew any and shook his head accordingly, too stunned for words.

"If she was stuck on the other side would she even be using her real name? Wouldn't she pick something else so she wouldn't, you know, stand out?"

Jacob could piece that together. Stuck on the otherside and there even being a Jacob alternate? He breathed in through his mouth, expecting it to feel tight and dry and shocked to feel it wet and edging on normal. He worked out, "Sabrina,"

The trio looked down at him. "This is another.. world, right?" They exchanged glances and shrugged, a unison of 'more or less'. "Sabrina Jennings, she said she was,"

The surprised yelp from above was all the warning he got as a body was falling much too quickly from the ceiling to stop. It landed heavily with a thick 'thump' on Jacob's middle, making his cough and sputter.

[December 28th, 2012]

"Oooh, I think I'm dying..."

"You are not dying, Sariel."

"You don't know that, ughh, this feels so awful. Won't you help me Jacob?" "No, just taken some more Nyquil, you're fine. You have the flu." I rolled onto my other side and mustered up my best kicked puppy dog look. "Jacob, won't you please go get it for me...?"

He turned around to glared at me, frustrated and tired with my antics. I really did feel horrible, more than what I expected the "flu" to feel like: more accurately I felt like death personified. I ached all over and moving at all left me terribly nauseousness. I'd never felt anything like it, Angelic or otherwise. Hell, I wasn't supposed to be able to get sick. I may have only partially fallen but that implied I was still partially an Angel and as a part angel being, I shouldn't be able to get sick with such human diseases, right? surely that was in my contract. Maybe

I probably should've read the fine print. I didn't even bother reading the shortened juicier version. Not that this metaphorical contract existed, that's why its metaphorical. I just didn't bother to actually consider what would actually happen if I ripped half my grace out (closer to two thirds, I still had a single pair of wings, not all three). I felt temperature and was bothered by it (I took to wearing several pairs of socks in the winter), I needed food occasionally, I slept a little off and on (maybe 3 hours a night, easily looked over). I hadn't even thought that sickness could also claim my much more fragile body.

I was still angelic enough that it would require a heavenly blade to kill me, I knew that for certain after I tripped and stabbed myself one evening. Whether it still took an archangels' blade or if any lackey could kill me was a mystery I wasn't too keen on figuring out. Being dipped in holy oil would probably fry me, which is such a pity.

But sickness is another thing all together, there were a handful of diseases that could affect angels. Mostly they attached to the wings: the most sensitive part of any angel, arch- or not. They were akin to birds' diseases, but the difference was simple. We could rid ourselves of them almost instantaneously. I'd only heard of cherubs being stuck with their sickness for a while, and even then they are so far down the food chain it isn't surprising. They're barely above humans, only capable of flight and hiding themselves from human view. They don't even require vessels.

But the flu, oh the flu. I had kept the part of my grace the healed, which seemed to be useless now, unable to rid my vessel which was essentially now my body, of this virus. Or whatever it was. It wasn't pleasant, I knew that. I ached all over to the very core of my being and even trying to press my grace against the wound-less pains seemed to be useless. I felt cold all the time and yet my body burned inside, and I was partially worried I was becoming Lucifer: burning cold and vessel flushed hot in attempts to press my grace and form out of its physical self. I slept much more, a full 8 hours which Jacob had explained was normal for humans to sleep more when they were sick. It meant their body was working overtime to try to push the stuff that was making you sick out. He swore to show me a movie he called Osmosis Jones, "Even though it's inaccurate in so many ways, it's pretty funny." I didn't really pay attention. I liked almost every movie he'd shown me thus far even though I hadn't seen a whole lot. Only maybe 50ish, and that was being generous. I guess for being around for a year on Earth, that was pretty good.

But this sickness was not "pretty good". It was horrible. I don't know how humans dealt with this as a possibility every winter. I snuggled deeper into the bed, pulling the blankets up to my nose and Jacob seemed to understand that getting up really would send my nausea into overload again. (Last time I had tried to move ended with me curled up on the floor with my head between my legs, crying out of my misery). I left the room for a minute, and I coughed roughly. Dry and it ripped at my throat, I grumbled something about probably using all my archangel abilities, as soon as I got them back, into wiping out the flu virus. This was a perfect example of grade A suckage.

I sniffled and suddenly a bluish greenish liquid in a clear bottle was being thrust at me. Jacob held it out while I took it from it, opened the top and took a large drink of it. He raised an eyebrow and I shrugged. I still had resistance to much of humanities drugs, making going to the doctor especially weird. Jacob had feigned flu as well to get a double dose of Tamaflu, whatever that was. He said I should probably just double the dose and anymore and he'd be worried about its effects on me.

So far I didn't feel any better. Doubling the amount of any medicine I took never seemed to do the trick, at tripling I got trickles of effects, mostly little things. Six ibuprofen and I noted that I didn't want to tear my spine out quite as much. It took ten to really make me relax and be able to think about anything besides it.

I screwed the cap back on and held it out to him again. He took it and set it upon the night stand. He sighed and ran a hand over my forehead, his palm feeling cool against my skin. "I'm sorry you're sick, Sariel." He cooed softly. He leaned down and kissed my forehead.

I stifled a cough and mumbled, "Yeah well, don't get yourself sick too, I can't take care of you like you take care of me... I wouldn't even be able to heal it out of you."

He laughed and stroked a hand through my hair, "I can't get the flu."

I barely contained the shock in my voice: "What? how?"

He grinned and shook it head. "Unlike you, I got my flu shot."

#kat talks #long post #fanfic blogging #im tempted to post this on ao3 but with the correct post date #just so I can save this forever in case 750words goes under

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