#she's also super done with Deidara | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mixelation · 8 months

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reborn au, deidara POV. start of the chunin exams

Deidara sat across the desk from the Hokage, wedged between Itachi and Tori. Oonoki, and any commanding officer below him, would have made him stand, even if he was bleeding out.

Minato, meanwhile, tended to make meetings feel more like a conversation. Brief communications were done standing, but for their longer meetings he’d gesture for them to pull up chairs and then lean back casually in his own seat. He usually didn’t even complain if someone interrupted him with questions.

(Which Team 4 did. A lot. Because Itachi and Tori were both assholes who thought they were smarter than they were. Deidara, meanwhile, only had the most salient of interruptions.)

MInato did this even with super serious missions, like his insane plot to have them enter the Iwa Chunin Exam as cover to extract a Konoha prisoner.

Deidara wasn’t sure if Minato was so casual for all his shinobi, or if being on his wife’s team got them special privileges. Kushina-sensei had, in fact, chosen to sit on the desk rather than a chair, the backs of her sandals clunking against the wood. But even if it was just a perk of being on Kushina-sensei’s team, Deidara would take this lax style over anything Iwa ever put him through.

“Iwa sent their finalized list of contraband,” Minato said, voice cheerful. He held up a stack of papers. “I’ll read them to you. It’s pretty intense.”

The list was… lengthy. And sort of insane. They banned them from bringing in their own weapons, promising to provide adequate replacements upon arrival. They also banned all fuinjutsu related material, including any type of paper or writing utensil, and then an increasingly unhinged list of items which seem to pose no real danger to Deidara.

Minato’s voice cracked at reading the phrase “nectars and other viscous juices,” and then he turned and coughed a couple times to cover up laughter.

Kushina-sensei was also covering a smile with one hand.

“Did they put an insane person in charge of communications?” Deidara asked.

“No, they…” Minato had to pause a moment to get ahold of himself again. “They really, really don’t want you sneaking in a Hiraishin marker. Or making a new one.”

“Sorry,” Kushina-sensei told them, not looking the least bit sorry. “They’re probably only this paranoid because I’m your sensei.”

This did make sense to Deidara. The Iwa he’d grown up in, in the other timeline, had been one in which the Yellow Flash was dead and gone, and the man was still haunting old people’s nightmares. Some of Deidara’s older Academy texts had been from before his death, and they’d included insane protocols for what to do if he showed up on the field. Not a Konoha ninja, not a ninja with a specific technique– just him. No other Kage had such an honor.

He could only imagine the sort of cultural anxiety Minato was inflicting on Iwa just by existing.

The idea was sort of exiting, actually. All that fear and anxiety building up for years, just waiting for someone to come along and end it all in one glorious moment–

Tori elbowed him. To Minato, she asked, “Will they give us fuinjutsu supplies too, or do we have to get creative?”

Minato’s lips quirked upwards.

“They will give you fuinjutsu supplies,” he said. “A village only makes money off an exam if they can show off promising genin, and I convinced them it would be necessary for you to give a good show.”

“But I don’t get any?” Kushina-sensei clarified.

Any Iwa-nin who’d done two seconds of research on Uzumaki Kushina would want to ban her from even touching a brush forever. Even if she hadn’t gotten famous off of murder like he had, she and Minato came as a set: half his techniques were from her, and if anyone was going to be making Hiraishin markers and spreading them around, it would be her.

“I don’t know how they’ll enforce Tori having access but not you,” Minato admitted. “Supervision, maybe.”

Itachi cleared his throat. “You're sure this isn’t an ambush?” he asked.

This seemed like a good point to Deidara. They were basically just agreeing to waltz into Iwa completely weaponless and submit to whatever asshole demands Iwa might make. And like, someone like Deidara could do it, but it would be super annoying.

Minato took a moment to answer, gathering his thoughts.

“It might be,” he said, tone suddenly deadly serious. “But their doors will be open to plenty of foreign powers, and they’ve already advertised a team from Konoha. A move against us would be very, very stupid of them.” He let a humorless smile cross his lips. “Besides, I intentionally picked a team that could still function even with every disadvantage they might give you.”

Next to him, Tori shifted uneasily. Deidara didn’t think she was nervous for herself, because Tori had wandered into worse with no ninja skills whatsoever and came out on top. It was that there was no way Minato knew that, because Tori liked to downplay her talents at every turn. She had worked her way into the mission plan as a competent fuinjutsu user, but he probably wasn’t including her in his super special hand-picked team.

(And also, if you evaluated Tori the way you would in a classroom– throw this knife here, use this type of kick, demonstrate this particular move– she was pretty mediocre, even for a twelve year old. Tori only seemed intimidating after she’d tricked into doing something deeply stupid and then was waving some insane seal in your face.)

Deidara wasn’t even sure Minato was including him, even though he ranked right up there with Kushina-sensei and Itachi in terms of “has an absurd bloodline limit, good luck taking THAT away.” It seemed more likely he and Tori got signed up to be semi-expendable benchwarmers, and any talents they ended up displaying were just a nice perk.

The thought made him angry. Minato might seem way cooler than Oonoki, but they were all the same, weren’t they? Minato would definitely abandon him and Tori to save his precious Konoha-born shinobi.

Tori must be putting thought into what she would do without weapons, because she remarked, “It’s such overkill to ban all paper, though. If I already wasn’t using sealing paper, I wouldn’t be like, ‘Oh, no regular paper either? Guess I’ll just give up.’”

Deidara attempted to reel in his temper. This was Tori probing the waters of what she could get away with. She was infuriatingly cautious about it, in Deidara’s opinion, but her paranoid little brain would be better attuned to when they might have to jump ship. He should let her take lead on this and not upset himself.

Kushina-sensei flashed her teeth at Tori. “No, obviously if you’re good enough, you can make any flat surface work. I assume that’s why they banned…. hand mirrors.”

There was a long pause while Kushina-sensei and Tori stared at each other, presumably contemplating what chaos they could cause with a hand mirror.

Minato’s swivel chair groaned as he leaned back, dropping his papers on his desk.

“It’s a moot point,” he said. “Tori, we don’t use untested seals in the field, and you can’t count on any seal that works on paper to work anywhere else. There’s a reason we use sealing paper. No hand mirror seals, okay?”

Hand mirrors were only the tip of the iceberg of insane shit Tori might try, but she plastered a meek smile on her face and agreed anyway.

Disgusting, Deidara thought. He trusted this version of Tori to save his ass if they suddenly had to abandon ship, but she was also the worst possible version of herself. Unartistic.

Itachi changed the subject again. “The overall mission is getting convoluted. How will Kushina get to Morino with fuinjutsu supplies if we may be supervised so closely? What are we going to do about Deidara’s explosion release?”

Tori opened her mouth, perhaps to suggest her own plan, only to close it and glance at Kushina-sensei. Ugh.

“We’ll just wing it,” Kushina-sensei said with full confidence.

Deidara turned to confirm that yes, Itachi did look like his brain had just exploded. Also seeing this, Tori said to him, “It’s okay. You can’t actually keep a fuinjutsu master from smuggling things wherever they want.”

Now Minato looked like he wanted to say something, but wasn’t quite sure where to start.

“I have an idea on how to distract them from Deidara,” Kushina-sensei said, twisting her torso to face Minato. “But they’ll eventually, uh… notice some things.”

Deidara clenched his fists, his nails digging into the bottom lips of his hand-mouths. Minato drummed his fingers on the desk.

“It’s tricky, but they don’t have a verifiable claim on him,” Minato replied. He eyed Deidara. “Do you have a preferred cover-up story?”

“...no,” Deidara admitted.

He didn’t like that Iwa thought they owned him, but he’d never had strong feelings about his family origins. They were assholes that treated him like shit, and he’d left. That was it.

They kicked around a few ideas, ranging from gaslighting everyone that Deidara’s explosions had nothing to do with Iwa’s only bloodline limit, to claiming he was an old experiment of Orochimaru. They didn’t come to any sort of real conclusion, and eventually Minato said he’d sleep on it and dismissed them.

“Deidara, can I talk to you for a moment?” Minato asked. Deidara narrowed his eyes at him, and from his peripheral vision he saw Tori flash a hand sign which was almost definitely Behave.

He crossed his arm and remained sitting while everyone else filed out. Kushina-sensei twirled in her seat so she could duck down and give Minato a peck on the cheek first. Gross.

When they were alone, Minato asked, “How do you feel about this mission?”

“It’s a mission, yeah,” Deidara replied slowly, trying to parse what he was actually being asked. Loyalty, maybe. His father was an Iwa-nin, even if he’d never met him. He added, “I don’t really like undercover missions, but it’s fine if I get to do some art. If I get a promotion and a nice paycheck out of it, all the better.”

Deidara still wasn’t sure he wanted to stay in Konoha, but the prospect of a steady income after being a child wandering-nin no one wanted to hire was incredibly alluring. Income meant he could have a bed, maybe even rent an art studio if Konoha Jounin got paid well. These fantasies weren’t enough to make him even consider going back to a hellhole that was Iwa, but if all Konoha had to torture him was a pushy sensei who got him in good with the Hokage, he’d take it.

“I know you intentionally fled Iwa,” Minato said, his voice… soft for some reason. Weird. “I understand going back might be uncomfortable.”

“I’ve never been to Iwa,” Deidara defended immediately. He’d made damn sure to leave Earth Country as soon as he could, and they hadn’t even been able to put him through any of their stupid ninja aptitude tests in this timeline.

Minato put up both hands as a calming gesture.

“I know, I know,” he replied. “But you have their bloodline limit. You grew up outside of a village, so this might not be obvious to you yet, but your art is going to link you Iwa permanently. I don’t want to send you into Iwa unprepared.”

Deidara had to spend a few moments grinding his teeth to hold back rude words. Of course he knew. Iwa had bred him to be their perfect little killing machine.

“It’s not Iwa’s bloodline limit,” Deidara replied eventually. “It’s mine, yeah. I decide what it’s for and what I do with it. That’s the whole point of my art, yeah.”

Minato raised both eyebrows. “Alright,” he said. “Good. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

He dismissed him, leaving him with a strange promise that his door was always open if Deidara wanted to “talk.” Whatever.

As he hopped down the stairs of Hokage tower two at a time, Deidara found himself surprised Minato had agreed that his bloodline limit was his own, separate from a village’s control. Probably a manipulation to keep Deidara away from any temptations to join Iwa. There was no way Minato would say Itachi’s eyeballs were for himself only and not Konoha, or that Kushina should use her chakra chains for anything but Konoha’s wellbeing. Villages just didn’t work like that.

Not that Deidara would complain about special treatment…

Tori was waiting for him outside, leaning against an outside wall. They started the walk back to the genin dorms.

“What’d he want?” she asked.

Deidara rolled his eyes exaggeratedly. “He wanted to know how I felt, yeah. Stupid.”

Tori frowned. “And how do you feel?” she asked.

“Like you and him are both annoying, yeah,” Deidara replied. “Also, what the hell is with you twiddling your thumbs and acting stupid whenever anyone asks about fuinjutsu–”

Tori rolled her eyes right back at him. This was an ongoing argument. Deidara understood her reasoning for downplaying her talents; he just thought it was stupid. Just because Orochimaru was a manipulative scumbag didn’t mean every ninja wanted to push and push until she had a screaming breakdown. Most villages did this very slowly and steadily in a very predictable, soul-crushing kind of way.

Somehow, Tori looped his rant at her back around. “I mean, if you have feelings about me and Oto, you definitely have some feelings about you and Iwa,” she said. “Are you going to be able to keep it together, seeing it?”

Deidara scowled at her. She’d worded it ambiguously because they were in public, but there was a definite seeing it AGAIN implied in there. And obviously Deidara didn’t want to go to Iwa, but that was the mission she and Itachi had signed him up for. He was an adult, if not physically. He could handle being annoyed by Iwa-nin for a month.

“Obviously,” he told Tori. Then he grabbed her arm and yanked her down a side street, changing the subject entirely. “There’s a new take-out place down here. We should get dinner, yeah.”

#reborn au #my writing

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adrunkskeletonsduck · 1 year

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Hᴏᴡ ⵊ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ᴛʜᴇ Aᴋᴀᴛsᴜᴋɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴅʀᴇss ɪʀʟ

Nᴀʀᴜᴛᴏ Mᴀsᴛᴇʀʟɪsᴛ

Deidara - Dresses like an Edgar who does art. I js know he has those shiny ass belts and pants to his fuckin knees. First photo is canon, it’s the first post on his Insta. His closet is black and white, and he never leaves the house without the gold chain.

Itachi - He likes sweaters and baggy jeans or sweatpants. I feel like he gravitates more towards dark colors, specifically dark reds, blues, browns and blacks. Also he likes gray sweatpants 😏. He wears minimal silver jewelry so just thin rings and one or two necklaces. When it gets hot he just wears short sleeves (a lot of white tshirts)

Hidan - Button ups and and jeans. The way he dresses kinda gives dad vibes but he doesn’t care bc it’s easy and put together without looking super formal. This man also doesn’t get cold so in the winter he might throw on a think jacket but usually he sticks with short sleeves.

Konan - Business casual chic, typa look. Like Pein, she knows she's important and wants to look the part. I can see her wearing lots of blacks and whites, but she likes to throw in fun colors (esp purples) and accessories as well. She's so pretty

Kisame - He loves turtle necks omgg! Matches them with dress pants and a thin belt. Like Itachi he likes darker colors. Heavy on the black and navy blue clothing though. He also likes more fitted shirts. It makes him look put together but casual all the same and he likes that, also makes him look hot which he likes as well

Sasori - His outfits are pretty casual, just jeans, a plain colored shirt (sometimes his shirt will have design but if it does its subtle), and a jacket. Always a jacket, he doesn't leave the house without one. His favorite is this red jacket that matches the color of his hair perfectly. Silver necklaces and simple silver rings.

Pein - Always dressed for business. He's a suit and tie guy 24/7 typa guy, but sometimes he'll take of his suit jacket and unbutton a button or two on his shirt and loosen his tie and jesus does he look goodddd. He also wears silver rings, however his are 100% real silver

Tobi - Colorful cyber y2k. He can match any color together and make it look good, its insane. Likes blingy ass belts and has his ears pierced (they got infected within two weeks of getting them done because he didn’t take care of them properly). Very fun fits overall!

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renaerys · 5 months

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Hey! Since you said you love to talk about Sasosaku I am taking my chance. I think there is one thing that your fics haven't covered but made me deadly curious about. It is WWITAI (What would Ino think about it) if she knew about a potential Sasosaku (so burning daylight verse I guess)? I am torn between her going "good for you, you finally found someone who is as weirdly intense about love as you are" and "I would tell you to break up but at this point, with your track record, I am worried your next boyfriend would be satan himself" (because Sasori is the worst - affectionate). What do you think? (sorry if your received this ask twice Tumblr was acting weird)

I am always asking what my best girl Ino would think! What a fun thought exercise. Okay so I think after the events of Burning Daylight she’d be like super understanding, not Sakura’s fault what happened, etc. Ino, unlike Sakura, actually is good at seduction/honey pot missions and takes them, so she would understand super well what it was like for Sakura feeling some feelings for the hot mark. Sort of like how Anko also got it, but nicer about it.

And obviously she’d want all the details about the sex. She’d get Sakura drunk enough to reveal it all.

In TVBF though I think she’d be full on “girl you have a death wish” and not be on board with it. Because unlike Sakura, Ino is not someone who is so easily charmed by someone like Sasori. She sees him for the dangerous killer he is. And she’d be right, except that she doesn’t know him the way Sakura does and isn’t privy to the grand plans and priorities. It would probably take a lot for her to believe that he truly means Sakura no harm considering his history. But in time as things unfold in that plot, I think she’d come around and be someone who helps protect the secret.

I headcanon that Sasori and Ino would despise each other because they are both very similarly shrewd and calculating and prone to manipulating others, and that proclivity makes them very good at seeing through that tactic in others. You can’t con a conman. In a universe where they are not enemies, they’d be those people who make all the plans and schemes 10 steps ahead of people like Sakura and Deidara and make any situation seem smooth, even though behind the scenes they have done whatever dirty work is needed to threaten, manipulate, or coerce the situation to their favor. Woe to anyone who gets caught in their crosshairs. A team up dressing down from Sasori and Ino would end in death.

#ino and Sasori would be such a scary team

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immoralimmortals · 2 days

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we adore it, deidara and sasori and itachi are perfection--

a cake for judgment lol for the bombastic artistic duo~

so, deidara would like geode cakes, wouldn't he?

does obito like mirror glaze cakes? or would something about their smooth, perfected surface make him shy away...

itachi and kisame make us think about taiyaki and raindrop cakes, haha

obito has the vibe of someone who eats fast food "late night" deals aimed at young adults (cough jack in the box cough taco hell) often

mango is a strong flavour? shook

we've always thought it was pleasantly sweet but not that overwhelming.....

somehow we're picturing zetsu eating honeypot ants, now, haha, because of eyeballs. zetsu eating eyeballs amuses us because of the sheer creep factor (worse for the two Uchihas, lmao)

what kinds of gifts would the akatsuki appreciate? (separately or collectively)

I googled Raindrop Cakes and holy shit that's gorgeous. Also yeah...I think the flavor of real mango is really mild but perhaps being American, the iterations I most often see are like watermelon candy is to actual watermelon. I'm used to it being super duper sharp if it's a mango flavored thing, versus using real mango.

Akatsuki gifts! :

Pain:

I think while he's a very practical man, he'd enjoy something that clearly came from the heart, too. I think it's a hard feat but a good way to make him soft. Something, perhaps, that he can see in his personal space and remember your care.

Konan:

Little things. A rock you think she'd like. Things you made with your hands, just so long as it isn't too clearly laborious or time consuming. (Thinking about when she made an origami rose for Jiraiya)

Tobi/Obito:

THE WORLD No, I think anything that demonstrates you're giving him the time of day on your own free will out of love. I bet he melted anytime Rin so much as shared a snack. He can see through your intent like glass, though, so its less about what is actually done and more what you mean by it that'll matter.

Zetsu:

He might be the hardest sell, I don't think gift giving is a love language he accepts easy. Maybe *gives*, because humans are weird and it's an easy way to express affection or admiration, but to *accept* is different. I think he'd more or less have the same placid, pleasant expression regardless of if you gave him a flower or bought him a house. You'd have to attach some sort of context to the gift to make it matter more.

Hidan:

Personal headcanon: for as much as he talks about how he feels or thinks, he does not know how to express affection with his words. He gives gifts if he likes you. In my fic, he gives the performer a loaf of bread and because she's starving, she wolfs it down, and so every time after he's like "wow I guess she really likes food" so he steals gets her food.

wait this is a post about what gifts HE would want.

Appreciate his faith or demonstrate your own. He'll catch on if you only give him things with the Jashin symbol just for the sake of it, though. After the first few times he's going to get the idea that you're not actually putting any heart into it, like the equivalent of buying anything you see that has a frog on it because your friend said once that he likes frogs. It's only going to take you so far if you're using it as a shortcut. Get him a prayer mat, some candles, maybe a free coupon for the human sacrifice warehouse.

Kakuzu:

This man is NOTHING if not pragmatic. The gift needs to be worthwhile, for one, and for another, because he ultimately sees where every bill comes and goes in the Akatsuki's hands, he is going to want you to spend it WISELY. Don't buy this man anything gold. You're basically handing him his own money back to him in a different, less liquidated form. Be thoughtful, pay attention to the kind of things he tends to use, or tends to need and never seems to have enough of. It matters most how your gift serves to improve his life. Better ink for writing, an updated bingo book, a meal he forgot to eat. Things that fill a space that is already open, not trying to forge one and pretend it is needed for its own sake.

Deidara:

You need to make the gift. I don't know if anyone could ever think there'd be a different answer than this. It needs to be made in some form or another with your own two hands. He wants to see your fingerprints on that ceramic, hear the quiver in your voice when you sing him a song. Don't be mistaken: home made will not necessarily mean less expensive. He's gonna notice if you cheap out on the materials, and then he is (while not intending to be ungrateful) going to critique you on that. Save yourself the lecture.

Also: let him watch you make it! That'd be the best part.

Sasori:

Also needs to have artistic purpose first and foremost. I think he'd love things in resin, honestly. Preservation of something beautiful, especially if its the kind where you go in with a needle and position everything before it solidifies. But mostly, purpose is secondary to beauty. It needs to be beautiful or otherwise obvious in the delicate nature of its craft. Also, if you have the kind of relationship with him where he is showing you how he builds his puppets, a demonstration you've learned what he's taught would be phenomenal. Give him a lil puppet and let him do a critique. The time in his day to do that is the most meaningful gift he will give in turn; it is a hard one to earn.

Kisame:

He strikes me as an "experience versus physical object" kind of guy. Take him out for something fun! Go to the boardwalk, the festival, a hike, fireworks. He's not necessarily social with strangers, but he's more than willing to be around them and handle stares to go live life and enjoy himself. Of course, it's all the better if you're there with him to share it.

Itachi:

Easiest to gift for, even if everyone thinks otherwise. Just because he doesn't always smile doesn't mean it means nothing to him. If you went to the store and got him any gift basket of body care items, he would reserve a space in his heart for you till the day he dies. On that note, I do think he'd like body care items a lot, things that are perfumed, make his hair softer, let him relax for a second. He may not be able to sleep, but a lavender scented bath is a pretty close imitation. I also think he's the type that would genuinely be touched if you donated to a charity in his honor.

#akatsuki x reader #akatsuki headcanons #akatsuki #pain naruto #konan #zetsu #obito #hidan #kakuzu #deidara #sasori #kisame #itachi

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camm1ie · 2 years

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My paper ripped 😔

More sketches of genderbend Sasori<3

(Click for better quality)

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assortednarutoheadcanons · 2 years

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I Fix Kishimoto’s Two Day War That Is Stupid

I refuse to let the Fourth Shinobi War (it ain’t a world war, Kishimoto. A world war involves more than five countries, plus the canon map kinda drops off in the west) to only be two days. Not possible, I refuse. At least a year.

Things that happened in Canon but I am changing to a later date:

Blowing up HQ. Still happens, Shikaku and Inoichi die (IMMA THROTTLE KISHIMOTO) but it happens via reanimation bombing procedures with Deidara’s clan

IT IS CANON THAT THE EXPLOSION THING IS A KEKKEI GENKAI AND ERGO, THERE’S MORE DEIDARA’S THAT DIED PREVIOUSLY

Hachibi and Kyubi are absorbed. Tsukiyomi does happen. The sage thing (that’s weird) occurred.

Also, use the Yamanaka clan more than in canon! Bitches can communicate. I swear, there has to be some written seal that allows mass mental communication without a hand seal.

(I’m also immensely Yamanaka Biased)

Sasuke was probably running around as a rogue ninja, fighting against Obito in his own way.

For some reason (terrible planning and weird bullshit surrounding the Uchiha Clan) the Shinobi Alliance has a squad chasing and capturing Taka.

Jugo is the first one and just… handed over to the Communication unit (which Ino is in charge of) and she just goes entirely nuts on his brain (because war, ya know), interrogates him, and then cheerfully dives back into his head and works on his fixing the chakra pathways that was disrupted with the Curse Mark kekkei genkai, making him less aggressive. He’s kept in a cell where Ino annoys everyone inside the cells.

Karin is the next to get captured. Same thing. Ino dives in, reads her memories without her knowing and then they rant about how horrible Sasuke’s emotional maturity is.

One day, Ino suddenly lights up while Karin was complaining and goes Hange Zoe on Sasuke, wanting to pick him apart. It is by far the most disturbing thing the prisoners had seen from her, but then she immediately went back to normal because she complained about how Sasuke had no idea how he was supposed to wash his hair.

Suigetsu and Sasuke are captured together, Suigetsu barely alive and Sasuke unconscious. Ino happily reads their minds after they are stabilized and shipped to her prison.

Sasuke wakes up to see the Yamanaka Clan Head grinning at him like a madman and he recalled the One Thing Itachi had Feared.

Yamanaka Ino, the daughter of the T&I head, Yamanaka Inoichi, and the insane woman named Noriko who had wiped out an entire Land of Earth battalion for a weird mushroom that apparently belonged in Tsunade’s hands but had somehow migrated to Inoichi.

Which was bad.

Taka eventually joined the ranks and Ino was switched out with someone from her clan and Shikamaru and Choji were like ‘hey, Ino, I know you like to torment people into becoming your friend but this is ridiculous’. And they’re right.

Taka becomes the Ino-Shika-Cho bodyguards and usually the ones to bring them back to normal level so that they can explain their insane plan.

Sasuke, while still very much OP, will say ‘no’ quite a bit to them because their plans are stupid. Or dangerous.

However, the three would just do a throwaway line like ‘Oh, yeah, gods. We should probably figure out how to get that body back.’ This terrifies Taka and concerns Sasuke.

BTW, NARUTO AND B ARE IN HIDING. WITH YAMATO. AND SHINO AND HINATA AND KIBA, WHO ARE ALL SUPER STRESSED.

Anyways, Taka’s on the front lines with Ino-Shika-Cho and Sakura happens to be around so she sees them but once again, in the middle of a war and she’s head of this field medic squadron.

After that’s done, Sakura comes over to talk and sees Sasuke, Karin and Suigetsu yelling at Ino and Choji about some stunt they pulled in the middle of battle that nearly killed Shikamaru (unconscious on Jugo’s shoulders). They say that it was Shikamaru’s idea. Sasuke screams in frustration.

Ino then sees Sakura, waves her over, and shoves Karin into Sakura and explains the weird bite chakra healing thing. Sakura likes weird genetics as she has none so she’s immediately interested. (successful Sasuke distraction)

Taka doesn’t let the three out of his sight. Suigetsu watches Ino (she once read Mitarashi Anko’s mind too closely once so now she can use bombs and fire quite well), Karin watches Shikamaru, Jugo watches Choji (he can pick him up) and Sasuke usually keeps an eye on everyone.

FAST FORWARD A FEW MONTHS

Sasuke got injured protecting Ino. Taka gets him back to base camp and the next thing you know, rumors about how the Uchiha brat got hurt and then the Ino-Shika-Cho squad destroyed the battlefield. The Yamanaka ripped heads clean off with her bare hands. Shadows tore enemies up from the inside while whipping a ball of mass destruction around the battlefield.

A week later, Naruto shows up at camp where Choji is nursing Sasuke back to health from nearly dying and just screams at Sasuke.

Ino knocks him out and drags him off and throws him into a pit.

Sasuke is awake and sitting up when Naruto gets out and starts yelling at him. Shikamaru hits him with a book and Ino forces him down into a chair.

‘I’m going to link your minds and you two can talk it out. I will act as the mediator, but only listen to your emotions. Talk.’

So they talk and Naruto hates that Sasuke still won’t stop. Ino cuts him off and kicks him out.

`We know that Konoha is shit at politics and what they did was wrong. It happened to my family too. Back at the beginning. We still have copies of memories trapped in the catacombs.’ Ino tells him quietly, in the part of his mind that is protected just for this. ‘But we can’t start a war. So we change it from the inside out. We failed the Uchihas but I refuse to fail you all again.’

THIS IS WHAT INSPIRED THE FUCKING SASUKE HOKAGE IDEA. SHIKAMARU IS AGAINST ALL OF IT.

D-DAY - about 1.5 years after the start of the war

Goes the exact same in Canon except Neji lives and Tenten dies.

Naruto vs Sasuke fight, Ino-Shika-Cho watches on as Sakura and Kakashi anxiously try to stop it.

Both lose an arm.

Post-war?

Sasuke doesn’t go back to Konoha despite begging. Ino has him go to the Western Lands to get some stuff for her and the flower shop. She writes a seal on his back that allows for further communication via mind links.

Ino and Sai work through Root. Ino becomes head of T&I, ANBU, the Yamanaka Clan, works in the flower shop, hospital, and extreme therapy, is suddenly on the Clan Council and is helping Shikamaru destroy the village’s system and rebuild it into something that doesn’t do what it did to the Uchiha clan!

Sakura gets therapy

Naruto marries Hinata at 25 YEARS OLD. 19 IS TOO FUCKING YOUNG MY DUDES. LET PUBERTY GET MOSTLY OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM.

Hinata becomes secondary head of the Hyuga clan and with Neji’s help, they change the clan. Which was the entire point. Hinabi is the clan head.

Shikamaru and Temari get married at 24.

I kinda want Sakura to realize she’s interested in Karin, but once again, that’s just a personal feeling towards her after she gets therapy. Sakura x Therapy for the win.

Also, in general? Team 7 x Therapy. Like, really intensive therapy.

Edit:

I do have a more thorough one that I have to finish, but it’s goes battle by battle, not a general idea. I will post that eventually.

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6blackfilin9 · 3 years

Note

I love your Anko fanart! Tell me, what are your views/headcannons on Anko X Kazuku?

hThank you so much for the ask, finally I can answer it

here is my big thank you for the waitng

In a nutshell, the shipp was created by accident while me and my buddy were working on our first Naruto AU in 2019, where Kakuzu and Deidara survived their shitty plotholes end eventually ended up in Konoha

Yeah

so, the shipp’s birth date is july the 1, 2019

anything like classy, aristocracy kind of tension-filled passionate gothic romance with playful, psychological games & hurt/comfort vibes with slight scent of rivalry is KakuAnko

Basically, they are: a very, very old man with absolutely horrendous background who’s trying to finally have his mother*cking 10 or 30 years of peace, and a rather young lady with a rocky youth who’s being good & noble yet has very strong antihero tendencies

You know, I think they do have potential, since, in fact, they seem to be very similar, at the core

They are both very pragmatic realists, the people of logic and reason, yet if Kakuzu’s irritability doesn’t affect him a tiny bit due to his ideal self-control, Anko’s can lead her to quite bad places, sometimes. They put their interests in the first place, and even though she tries to attach them to Konoha’s, she still has ‘personal’ things (I’ll write ‘bout it lower*). Their mindsets are so complicatedly organized that, at some point & way, it prevents them from having many close people, and makes them very hard to see through and predict

Both of them are very flexible & adaptive, independent individuals with similar outlooks on plenty of things and high intellectual level. They clearly can find plenty of traits that they would highly respect and adore in each other

Here I will speak mostly for “why and how” kind of things, bc both of them are terribly tricky to accurately figure out. But there will be some headcanons too

So, there are still some odds about them, due to the strong difference in their occupation, like, in plenty of cases they are really tricky to be brought together, because:

- Of the job

In original, Anko is a Konoha’s special jounin, and she is very dedicated to serving the country. Independently of whether she likes her job or not (depends on the plot), she orienteers at the people, at society’s gain from her work. So, accordingly, in any other AU her job is somehow connected to civil service, whether it’s something police-like, connected to science, or something like CCG in Tokyo Ghoul

Kakuzu, on the other hand, is a hitman and a persona non grata in literally all the five big countries, Konoha too (which makes it barely possible to bring them together in the original universe without hard complications or heavy drama. But still possible). He orienteers on his own gain alone, but, depending on the job, it can include others’ gain, too.

This detail makes him a saint once he holds supervising position in some company or any high position in the government (the better the working conditions of the staff now- the more money in the prospective), and the sheer nightmare once he has it on the opposite side of the law. Him as a mob boss is a complete different topic for discussion, but to get the point, in this case, the trouble isn’t him increasing the level of criminality (its rather vice-versa), but taking hold of too much control in the high and underground structures. Even as an ordinary hitman he’s rather tricky, since everything depends on the case

In most of the stories, they come to some sort of compromise, and how hard it is to reach it depends on how shitty his job is and how attached they are to each other at the moment

Like, in the above mentioned Shippuden AU and Harry Potter AU (which I also wrote with my buddy) everything went like clockwork, because there they are both more or less on this side of the law, in Tokyo Ghoul AU (which I also wrote with my buddy) it is a bit more complicated, with her being in-law and him being very much outlaw, in the Avatar AU (which I also figured out with my buddy, but we never happened to write it) it is also pretty smooth, with both of them being outlaws and then jumping out to the glory after all the shit is done, but in another Shippuden AU of mine, this all would be just a motherfucking bloody disaster

- Kakuzu is actually a hard nut to get attached to anyone

He lived too long to be truly afraid of anything, though. Its mostly because he doesn’t really need to get attached to or become close with someone to satisfy his need for communication. The man can get along with anyone once he wishes to, he can have countless acquaintances and plenty of buddies, but he doesn’t have many comrades and barely can call anyone a friend. Because he is used to lose everything and everyone he ever had or happened to have, because of his inhumanly lengthened lifespan.

It requires time for him to get used to the person, and then, eventually, in some cases, spend plenty of it to get attached

Plus, for him, due to his profession, each close connection is a really great responsibility for him. In most cases, he’d think twice of weather he is ready to take it or not

Though it of course has the personal factor, too

In Anko’s case, she has a grand privilege by being a very intelligent and keen woman, not just in cognitive plane, but in emotional, too. High emotional intellect is actually a rare trait, so she automatically stands out of the crowd for him. Even though it won’t guarantee his alliance, it will grant her his high respect and some sort of sympathy

- Kakuzu is, technically, an asshole

He does have his moral compass, which includes a great amount of common social morality, but he also has that “I am working” state

Even though Kakusu has a set of professional principles, and he still acts accordingly to what he thinks is right, one and the very same situation can be solved diametrically different once the context changes from working to casual and vice versa

This, and him being very independent and quite antisocial, makes the degree of assholeness depend on various factors

This can lead to major conflicts of interests, and if they are possible to have any compromise or not is strongly attached to the circumstances. After all, both are very, very prideful and dignified people

- In other words, the only major issue for them would be morality questions. It’s possible to make the case acceptable for Anko, since both of them ain’t truly squeaky clean, along with Kakuzu being willing enough to watch his borders

- She is provident and doesn’t really need a lot of money on a daily basis, which is much of a joy to him lol

- *they both seek for the stable ground, first of all

Taking in consideration the life conditions Kakuzu had in his youth (despite war state, he still stably had family, friends, grand respect from everyone, home, warmth and food) and how terribly he was torn out of his secured social environment, I believe what he seeks through all his bounty hunt and other money-connected manipulations is stability. Sustainability he had back then. The only way to have it in the conditions of our existent world order is to have money (and a very good mind and luck)

Anko has indeed much more altruistic motives, yet it’s still not that simple. It seems to be, on the first sight, yet considering the “Orochimaru related cases” and her very wayward behavior toward them, it’s clear she keeps her own motives and needs in mind oh so well. The service she has is very well payed, it allows her to do what she likes or believes is right, and to have the living conditions she finds comfortable. And only here, relying on the made sustainable basis, she does what she does

- Thus, they both illustrate the principle “first help yourself, next help the other” just right

- She knows she can keep an eye on him, yet it’s clear for her that her influence isn’t borderless, as well as telling him off some stuff is kind of a not wise thing to do. So in the majority of cases, she never interferes

- This is not common, yet he can actually change some plans if the situation is serious and the compromise can’t be found. He is that kind of person who works on a further prospective, and in this context, this would be the relationship with his loved one

- While Kakuzu is quite conflicted and has very reserved controversial persona, Anko is both controversial, conflicted, and sort of two-faced, on top of that

She is a very sincere, cheerful and humbly honest human being, yet she has some darker natural traits of her character that became rather strong with age and traumatic experience. Cunningness, guile, ways-depend-on-the-case and a bit of ruthlessness, that is. Moreover, she has some unsolved personal issues, which makes her even more twisted.

Like, remember the time when she confronted Orochimaru during the exam? And Kabuto, on the war? Getting rid of them is indeed beneficial for Konoha, but it’s clear that for her it is personal vendetta in the first place. She wouldn’t have tried to do this alone, otherwise, because these two are rather dangerous ones, to say the least.

She uses greater good to cover her real motives (even though it is not truly complete bullshit), and seems to have a terrible habit to keep silence about really important things, which makes her quite prone to lying, in some cases

And sometimes it very badly pisses Kakuzu off, since it makes her prone to doing useless but dangerous shit too

Yet this not any kind of separate hidden side, it is integrated into her personality, and coexists with her bright one. That’s where her violent humour comes from, for example.

But Kakuzu, on the other side, is completely monolith individual, yet sometimes his mindset can create contradictions when it comes to something important to him. but it's another topic

And seeing these layered constructions, and motives, they can pretty finely predict each other’s behavior. Not super-neatly, but they for sure see the basis. This is what helps Kakuzu to prevent Anko from doing some stupid shit, sometimes

- Anko has a role of an indicator for the people who don’t understand and see the changes in Kakuzu’s mood sometimes, since she usually reacts quite openly. Yet, when she has the same unreadable mask of cold, or one of guile, it’s a nightmare for them

- They prefer the non-verbal way to show their feelings, even though Anko is obviously the more chatty one

- They don’t say things such as “I love you”, or other sensual stuff like that really often, believing it to be some sort of cherished words that shall not be spelled mindlessly

- Anko isn’t majorly into PDA, but she fancies it much more than Kakuzu does. She has her whole moments of studying something with her hands, whether it’s a hand, scar or face. He’s more into passive display of affection, like wrapping an arm over her waist or leaning to her or something of this kind; they can allow themselves to (not sexually) kiss in public though

- She knows he doesn’t like to walk hand in hand due to considering it a youthful thing, so there are times when she intentionally walks holding on to his sleeve; generally they walk separately in order not to bother each other, but sometimes they walk arm in arm (like an old Victorian couple lol)

- Being older and wiser, Kakuzu eventually upholds some kind of mentoring position, yet he never considers himself any kind of a teacher or master to Anko, believing her to have a good head of her own. He is just insightful enough to break something through to her or give a word of advise

- This, combined with his highly powerful demeanor, also makes him have the leading position in their relationship

- Anko respects him much enough to fortify this, entrusting with plenty of life questions (like organizing the family budget), even though they make the majority of decisions together. Mostly because he is truly wise and highly experienced individual.

- This makes him one of the very few people Anko would actually listen to and take their opinion in consideration

- So basically they have equal relationship with some tendency to patriarchal order

- And it is, really, mostly economically-based disbalance, with him earning much more than she does

- Yet they never have any financial-based issues, since both of them keep in mind and respect the contributions of each

- There is major power play here, too. He has the absolute might, she has seduction. Anko loves how he makes her want to submit to him, let him have all the power, so she likes provoking him. And she knows he adores it, loves the subtle control she has over him

- They don’t have conflicts in their everyday life. Each knows how to avoid pissing one another off

- He cherishes her playful demeanor, her intellect. Combined with her cunningness, it allows her to rival him, in social sphere. The way she constructs her phrases, the way she speaks, mimics, moves, how bewitchingly it suits her feminine snaky features makes his blood boil and heart melt

- Both of them, actually, have rather specific kind of dry, dark humour. Kakuzu’s is very cynical, satirical, quite often menacing and subtly demeaning; Anko’s is very sarcastic and quite dirty, even gruesome and rather violent

- Sometimes they “fight” verbally as a form of a play. In some circumstances they may sound pretty vile, so some unobservant people mistake this for display of hate

- In general, Anko is the one to heat things up with her playful demeanor, which can include provocation and rivalry, and Kakuzu is the one to keep this energy in borders, accumulating it up to much more intense states

- They both put the comfort in the first place when it comes to household. Everything must be cozy, useful, silent and super clean

- Yet they are both very unpretentious and modest, really

- She absolutely adores when he is showing his serious, severe side, or powerful demeanor. She finds it incredibly suitable for him. She also likes how his real age is sliding out in this or that way. Like, even though he has rather young face (that of 37-40 y.o.), his eyes give away that he’ve seen oh so much more than it seems; the grumpy noises and grunts he makes, the lazy attitude in movements and the way how rapidly he finds a comfy pose once he has a chance to take a seat

- They are both rather patriotic, yet while in the most stories Anko’s feelings mostly lay towards the country she lives in, Kakuzu’s more often lay towards some places, so called small motherland.

- Kakuzu actually could be a source of deep, strong admiration and delight for her, despite all of his bullshit. The unbreakable will he has, mighty burning heart, all the wisdom, talents and mind. Being sent to fight god damn Hashirama, clearly a genius of his times, financial & management genius at the least. And, still, after all the hard times he’ve been through, he maintained the very strong sense of dignity and nobility, even though slightly twisted due to the profession and abnormal lifespan

- And the very same things can serve as the source for her chagrin: with all those traits, he could have been so much more rather than a criminal. With all the gifts he’ve got, he could have been of great use to society. He’s much easier about this, since his prospective is much wider and embraces decades (and in some universes even centuries) instead of months & years, and he knows that he’d be switching sides throughout his life, being on this and that side of the law, yet he still is a bit uncomfortable once it’s brought up

- They are deeply into science, which makes them atheists. He’s into medicine and human biology, she’s into chemistry and reptilian biology; both of them are nuts for physics, history and psychology

- They solve complicated physical and mathematical problems together time to time. She is the first one to have tea-breaks due to losing her temper over it, he tries to figure things out right until you can sense the smoke coming off his head

- Actually, they do have a stumbling stone aside from job & morality complications. And this is Anko’s attitude towards Orochimaru

What she does is basically ruins her life very-very slowly, maintaining the issues she has and planning to make him pay for all he’s done

Kakuzu knows exactly what is really going on with this attitude and why, but he can’t really do anything about it. Like, he knows he can’t make her change her mind or put something into her head

All he can do is really nothing but try to explain how those things are working, and even this option is basically a landmine field for him. At some level she does understand that he could probably be right, yet she just refuses to go back on her mind. And this is actually really dangerous, so at some moments they can fight quite badly about it

- He’s scared shitless to lose her, though; especially like that, even though he knows clearly that he will, anyway, sooner or later

- he knows that losing loved ones ends up with sheer disaster for him, yet he isn’t afraid to pay such a high price for those six, five or four decades of being with her. Because these decades are that of a paradise ones for him. Wife and family, as well as stable job, incomes and life conditions, are some sort of physical definitions of sustainability he craves. Especially family, yet it’s far ahead to plan

- The fact that he will have to bury her one day makes her rather depressed, as well as the knowledge that the only thing she can really do about it is to try to bring him as much happiness and comfort as possible before she dies

thank you, i'd say more, but it's too much already

#my art #naruto #naruto shipuden #akatsuki #naruto akatsuki #akatsuki kakuzu #kakuzu #naruto anko #mitarashi anko #kakuanko #they are very entertaining disaster

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ladykissingfish · 3 years

Text

Highschool with the Akatsuki

*Modern-Day*

Hidan

Behavioral nightmare. Fidgets, drops things, disrupts others’ work, talks during study/quiet times. Has to be constantly reprimanded for his inappropriate jokes and foul language. Sent to the principal‘s office so much that he was asked his opinion when the man was choosing new carpeting. Most of his friends are exactly like him, so if they’re in the same class they have to be seated clear across the room from each other. Can be a good student when he TRIES; but doesn’t see the point in trying, so will just barely be passing his classes with C’s and D’s. Skinny jeans and Vans with open flannel shirts over white or black tank. Wears a necklace with strange symbol on it, when asked what it represents he’ll say “my religion” but won’t elaborate. In the bathroom between every class grabbing “a quick smoke”. Dyed his hair silver as a joke in the 6th grade, has kept it that way ever since.

Kakuzu

As serious as a heart attack, no matter the situation. Incredibly tall and with a stern face; is almost always mistaken for being the teacher by new kids. Has an impressive collection of “old-man” sweaters. The stingiest guy alive with a buck; will actually make you hand-write him an IOU slip over borrowing 50 cents for the vending machine. Decent in all subjects but a star in Economics. Has one or two “friends” but doesn’t seem particularly close to them (or anyone else for that matter). Doesn’t talk a lot in class but when he does it’s usually because he disagrees with a point the teacher is making, and he isn’t afraid to debate him or her until he’s acknowledged as being correct.

Deidara

Deidara is one of those people who needs constant stimulation to keep him engaged in whatever’s going on. Since school tends to involve a lot of tedious repetition, paying attention in class isn’t something he’s the best at. Most likely to “finish up” his homework assignments five minutes before class starts. Grades tend to fall in the B-/C+ range. The type to always pick a seat that’s in the back of the room and/or closest to the window. Has a sketchbook that he carries around with him wherever he goes. Style consists of ripped jeans over fishnets, combat boots, fingerless gloves, band t-shirts and oversized pullover hoodies. Super-long hair tied back in ponytail. One of the first (and only) people at school to *openly* identify as pansexual; gets asked out a lot but always declines everyone because dating “would interfere with his artistic process”. Doesn’t speak a lot in class unless the topic particularly interests him, in which case he will ramble on and on until politely stopped by the teacher. His table at lunch will always be full because others are drawn to his energy and charisma. The art room is his home away from home; on a first-name basis with the instructor.

Sasori

The smart, quiet kid. Tends to keep to himself and always appears to be in his own little world. Doesn’t ever seem to be paying attention in class, but when the teacher randomly calls on him, he has the right answer every single time. Always gets A’s but will get upset over a “low A” (in the 90-94% range). A good budgeter of time and will usually manage to get most of his homework done at lunch or during study hall. Has a (small) core group of friends and not looking to add to it anytime soon. Wears a lot of khakis and long-sleeved shirts or sweaters (even in the summer). Because of his organizational skills, technical mind, and proficiency in using tools, he excels in woodshop; often informally used by the teacher as an “assistant” to help other students with their projects. Absolutely hates gym (his small stature and delicate nature make physical exertion difficult for him); this will be the only class he doesn’t try for an A in, as he skips it as often as possible.

Itachi

Dear God, the girls ((and quite a few guys)) are crazy over this boy. Is thought of as being brooding, and mysterious ... and gut-wrenchingly handsome. Very quiet, rarely speaks in class, but when he DOES, it’s always something deep and profound. Top student grade-wise. Long dark hair and soulful eyes. Style is all black, distressed baggy pants with chains, long-sleeved band or anime shirts, boots, fishnet gloves, heavy silver bracelets and rings. Is polite to everyone but only has a handful of actual friends. Submits poems and short stories anonymously to the school paper; always gets published. Is occasionally persuaded by his teachers to volunteer as a student tutor; line will be literally out the door from people seeking his “help”. Has friends in the drama club so will go to every single school play to be supportive, even if all friend did was lighting or scenery.

Kisame

Tall and athletic; captain of the swim team. Isn’t the most handsome guy but popular because of his personality. Not really the best student, but keeps his grades up enough to be able to keep playing sports. Sweatpants, Nikes, and Letterman’s jacket. The type to step in when he sees somebody getting bullied. Has a secret love for Orchestra music and likes to sit outside the band room when it’s members have rehearsals. Friends with/friendly to absolutely everybody. Will go through more than one tray at lunch. Shines the brightest during gym class. Also a surprisingly good cook; will voluntarily take Home Economics as an elective and be one of the best bakers in the class.

Obito

Known around school as “that one guy with the mask”. Was apparently in a bad accident as a child that left the side of his face heavily scarred; adopted the practice of wearing solid-color face masks to cover damage. Teachers are made aware of his situation so no one ever tries to make him take it off; although he will do so at lunch, at a table of his close friends. Smart and articulate, everyone turns to look at him when he speaks in class. Tall and moves quickly (and silently); nobody ever knows he’s there until he’s right behind them. Dark jeans, boots and will always wear a leather jacket or trench coat, even on ridiculously hot days. Doesn’t laugh a lot but when he does, the sound of it could make anyone fall in love. A big eater of sweets; will always have some kind of candy on him that he will quietly slip beneath the mask and eat during class. When caught by teacher, will claim he had low blood sugar, and because he’s a good student otherwise he won’t be questioned further on it. The type to, at the beginning of the school year, sign up for a ton of after-school clubs, stay in them for a week, decide they’re boring, and duck out.

Zetsu

Oddball kid who sits by himself and talks to himself more than seems normal. Teachers have learned early on not to call on him in class, because he’ll just sit there and give them a silent, intent stare until they move on to someone else. Surprisingly good grades despite never talking/participating. Wears cargo shorts, T-shirts and sandals with socks, no matter the weather. Always goes outside in-between class periods; sometimes misses class altogether just to nap under a tree with his face in the sun. Eventually founds and is “captain” of the school’s gardening club; not many members but the ones that do join are very environmentally conscious, modern-day “hippies”.

Pein

Legitimately has like, 9000 piercings. There’s not an inch of this guys face that doesn’t have a shiny silver stud in it. Red and black seem to be the only colors in his wardrobe; lots of button-up shirts and zip hoodies. Has a ridiculously deep voice and is always super-intense, even when just hanging out with friends. In group projects, he’s always very quickly designated as the Leader. In his group of friends, it’s clear he’s the Leader. Not the best grades but above-average. Spends a lot of time with the blue-haired girl; it’s always rumored that they’re dating although both parties have claimed to be “just friends”. A terrifyingly persuasive arguer; joins and becomes star of the debate team within a week. The type to ask a very deep, pointed question during class and change the entire course of the teacher’s lecture.

Konan

The type to have a lot of close male friends but almost zero female ones. Tends to be the “mom” amongst her group. Excellent student, always the top marks in her class. A lot of admirers but always politely turns down potential suitors. Some piercings but nothing very extravagant. The school used to have a very strict rule about dying one’s hair “wild colors”, but she dyed hers blue and led a successful protest regarding freedom of expression. Her favorite class is literature, especially when they get to the Greek Mythology and Shakespeare units. Does origami as a hobby; when bored in class will sit and tear up bits of paper or napkins and create gorgeous little flowers. Clean and organized in every aspect EXCEPT for her locker, which is a (legendary) jumbled and unholy catastrophe.

#the akatsuki #headcanon #high school #hidan #kakuzu #deidara #sasori #itachi #kisame #obito uchiha #zetsu #pein #konan

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thottyimagines · 4 years

Note

Scale 1-10: How possessive are the akatsuki members with their s/o ?

From most to least:

Sasori is fucking crazy, man. He’s nuts. He’s possessive as hell. Lowkey thinks people are objects, sooooo.

Kakuzu is next. He’s just such a control freak, tbh, and it’s really, really hard for him to let go. He needs to make sure his s/o is doing well, and he’s old as fuck, so he thinks he knows best.

Pein is super, super protective. His first priority is the whole world peace through pain thing, yeah, but a close second is keeping his s/o safe and happy.

I actually think that Tobi would be pretty possessive, but like because he is Obito. The real dude inside is repressed, but he did go full incel and wage a war for his middle school crush, sooooooo……

Hidan can get possessive, tbh. It’s not allll the time, but he can get these little flares of jealousy or insecurity and needs to affirm to himself that his s/o is his.

Itachi has seen some fuck shit, has done some worse shit, and he has decided he’s going to make amends for all of that in his head by keeping his s/o nice and safe and away from creatures who could harm them.

Deidara can get possessive, but it’s more because of the fact that he’s young than anything else. He hasn’t fully learned to let go and trust his s/o to make the best choice just yet, and it comes out in this way.

Zetsu, should he be capable of forming romantic attachments, would be chill most of the time, but Black Zetsu throws in that chaotic energy and paranoia, so he is not the chillest.

Kisame is pretty chill for the most part. He has moments of insecurity, but it’s completely in the normal realm. He trusts his s/o. Still, if he gets irked enough by someone else’s actions, he’ll get a little possessive.

Konan isn’t possessive, really. She knows whats hers is hers, but she also trusts that her s/o knows that, too, and wouldn’t want to do anything to change that.

#akatsuki #akatsuki headcanons #naruto #naruto headcanons #konan #kisame #zetsu #itachi #hida #tob #pein #kakuzu #sasori #deidara

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scenariosofkonoha · 4 years

Note

Could you do Akatsuki in college headcanons, like an AU?

Kisame

He’s one of those not so sneaky bastards who brings an empty milk gallon into the dining hall and fills it up again, which is annoying because it takes LITERAL YEARS for that thing to fill and everyone just pissed because he blocks the chocolate almond milk, which is the true treasure of the shitty dining hall.

Lives in joggers- does not jog, but lives in joggers.

Gym rat. 100%. He skips like 75% of his classes to be at the gym. Gotta use that membership for the 4 years he's got it.

Konan

She’s the one girl RA who got stuck with an all boys hall, and she thinks about quitting every day. She’ll never bust for alcohol or weed though- useless you were a piece of shit that week, then you 're getting written up and she’s taking the goods.

She’s basically done with a design degree with an art minor, but it is the most low key thing. She never really talks about it, and you wouldn’t even know she’s into all that unless you opened up her laptop and saw the countless pieces she’s created.

Girl knows how to dress when she’s going out. Watch out y’all.

Kakuzu

He sells fake IDs and alcohol to the freshman, but upcharges them 2 to 3x more than the original price.

Has never gone to an actual class. He only shows up to exams and almost always gets As on them- doesn’t make him an A student though- damn those participation points.

Wherever anyone says “I know a guy,” Kakuzu is that guy. Kinda mysterious, Kinda dark, Kinda a bad idea, but it’s fine I guess? We all know that one guy in college, right?

Itachi

He’s the TA that every girl has the hots for, and he’s 100% oblivious to it. Get’s emails from them at 3 in the morning asking if he could meet up to help them some time, and it clearly has ulterior motives, but he’s like, “why the hell are they awake at 3am? There’s not even an exam this week?”

Occasionally goes out with Shisui to parties/bars, never with the intention of drinking more than 1 or 2 drinks, but somehow always ends up completely wasted and sleeping on Shisui’s couch.

Always has a thermos and ibuprofen? He’ll leave his phone and laptop home, but he needs those two things to get through the day?

Deidara

HAHA, he’s a wreck. He’s on Konan’s floor and is 100% convinced that she’s out to get him and his alcohol. Jesus fuck, Konan, just let him have his shitty vodka.

SKKKKKIIIPS GEN EDS. pssst. Who needs composition or sociology, not him. He gives no shits about these classes and does the bare minimum to get through them. Despite this, he’s actually super gifted in chemistry as well as art? Like, took Ochem as a freshman and got a 99%- only lost that 1%, because his hexagon drawings were messy as hell.

Lol he has a Twitter and it’s probably one of the most followed Twitters on the whole campus. Calls out bullshit 24/7, and people love it.

Pein

Business grad student with a philosophy background, which loosely translates that he somehow knows how the world works, but also no idea what is going on.

Lives in a single bedroom apartment in the nicer part of town, because he can’t stand the undergrads and all the antics and chaos they cause.

Hidan

He’s one of those people that stand in the campus square and preaches, but not like the old guys who try to give you mini bibles, but the weird middle-age men who scream at the top of their lungs that you’re going to die if you don’t accept their god.

Goes to class, but is that annoying kid who curses at the professor and adds unnecessary comments.

Probably drops out after his sophomore year to be a missionary bc college is dumb.

Sasori

The sole grad student in the university’s toxicology department, which is good, because he’s a terrible partner and would probably scare any other students out.

Does not deal with criticism well. He’ll get criticism, and will straight up be like, “Well you obviously can’t rationalize properly, so I’m going to ignore you.” (lol who let this shit into grad school?)

LOL he had to TA Deidara’s Advanced Ochem lab, and they butted heads so much. Sasori wanted to fail him so badly, because he was just a piece of shit and was terrible at cleaning the equipment, but Deidara always had the highest marks, so if Sasori failed him, he’d have to fail the whole class- He did think about this, but decided against it because the department chair would take away his lab funding if he did.

Zetsu

He’s the mini cactus that every stereotypical college girl has.

#2 of these are me #but you can't tell which 2 #admin em #itachi #itachi uchiha #deidara #sasori #pein #konan #kisame #hidan #kakuzu #zetsu #akatsuki

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mixelation · 5 months

Text

oh yeah i also wrote some of the fall out of the chunin exams from minato's pov

the [...] marks an unwritten scene or two lmao

***

Minato looked at the genin’s report first thing in the morning, opening it even before his assistant brought him coffee.

He was surprised it was in Tori’s handwriting and not Itachi’s. Itachi had always been picky about reports (and everything else anyone might do), and Minato often found his notes even on subordinates’ individual reports. Surely Itachi hadn’t told Tori to do the report. But the alternative also seemed strange. Who could convince Itachi not to at least write his own notes?

The format was also non-standard, but Minato didn’t mind it. Tori had somehow condensed the entire mission into a single page, front and back, with important events succinctly outlined in a logical, easy-to-read flow. To this page she’d stapled twenty-seven pages of what seemed to be notes on the conversation they’d had to produce this report, which were more detailed but not in an order that was easy for an outsider to follow.

The contents of the report turned out to be insane.

Minato had talked in length with Kushina about her version of events. He knew the details of the actual exam, their plan and Iwa’s eventual attack. He knew that, somehow, Itachi would end up rescuing Kushina alone while Tori and Deidara had gone after Morino. He knew what Itachi had deemed important for him to know immediately, which was that Tori had elected to make several decisions to manipulate Konoha’s international relations.

He had assumed the way they’d accomplished these things would be wild. He’d somehow underestimated how wild.

For one thing, apparently Deidara had fought the Tsuchikage. This was stated very matter-of-factly in the middle of a paragraph with no particular fanfare, and made Minato choke on his coffee.

There weren’t even any supplementary notes about this fact. Deidara had barged into the Tsuchikage’s box, screamed to a bunch of foreign dignitaries about Iwa kidnapping his sensei while everyone was distracted by the tournament, and then he’d fought the Tsuchikage. That was it. No further comment.

Deidara had also done this with enough skill to then leave the battle site in sufficient chaos that no one had been able to immediately follow him. This at least had detail; Deidara had simply broken enough of the building that the Tsuchikage’s guard he hadn’t killed needed all hands on deck to save their important foreign visitors from its imminent collapse.

Jiraiya had linked Deidara to a lot of destroyed structures– and buildings which were only partially destroyed in very sophisticated, calculated ways– but what the fuck. Deidara was eleven. A team of Iwa demolition experts couldn’t pull that off nearly as cleanly.

Part of Minato’s assumptions had been that Tori and Deidara had stayed together. Tori was extremely clever, and probably much more talented in fuuinjutsu than she let on, but she was very demonstrably not well-skilled in combat, and she’d shut down her own chakra in a last-ditch effort to stave off her own poisoning. That she would stick to a more combat-oriented person in a support role had been her MO as long as Minato had known her.

This, it turned out, was an incorrect assumption to the degree that Minato wasn’t even really sure how Tori had accomplished what she had. She had… simply walked into Iwa T&I, if he was reading this correctly. The report simply said she’d “infiltrated it through the back door.” Her supplemental notes clarified she’d done this via “the super secret jutsu of being twelve and unintimidating.” Then she’d called on a random T&I employee that she described as “looking slightly confused about his job (you know the type)” and convinced him they were meant to be relocating prisoners to help her move Morino.

These… these were not normal infiltration tactics. Minato had no idea what she was talking about.

At least with Itachi, Minato knew he was one of Konoha’s best and brightest. Minato would never order him to infiltrate a place by himself, but he understood how he’d done it with ample abuse of genjutsu and murder. He didn’t understand how Itachi had known where Kushina would be, and this was never commented on, but this question was extremely low priority.

Minato called back in his assistant and asked for a second coffee, and for her to schedule an all-day meeting the next day with Team 4 and some of Konoha’s leadership.

He probably wouldn’t keep everyone there all day. But he wanted everyone available.

The rest of his day was spent in more meetings on the Iwa fiasco. Morino was stable and talking, which pleased him. Tori’s report was copied and passed around to various offices for record-keeping and analysis, to see if anyone could divine Iwa’s motives and goals from their actions.

Shikaku sauntered into his debriefing with Minato with a copy in his hand.

“What the fuck is this?” he said, waving it.

“Team 4 is… resilient under stress?” Minato tried.

“More like Team Disaster,” Shikaku snorted, then dropped into a chair across from Minato.

Minato liked Shikaku. He’d call them work friends, maybe, as much as a Kage and his subordinate could be work friends. Shikaku was several years older and had usually been stationed in different parts of the war from Minato, but their sons were the same age, and Shikaku was always open for commiseration about the joys and challenges of fatherhood. Minato didn’t really get invited to afterwork events, but sometimes when they were both working late, Shikaku would show up with a couple beers and a few moments of friendly chat.

Today Shikaku’s friendly observation was, “Do you think they’re lying?”

Minato stared at him, nonplussed. “About what?”

Shikaku slapped the papers he was holding with the back of his free hand. “All of it. Some of it. It’s pretty unbelievable. A team of our best Jounin couldn’t pull this off.”

Minato frowned down at the original report, laid out on his desk. It did… well, it had occurred to him that some of Tori and Deidara’s parts, which neither Kushina nor Itachi had witnessed personally, might be exaggerated.

“Itachi was with them when Tori wrote the report,” Minato said finally. “He wouldn’t put up with a story he didn’t find believable.”

“He’s a genius, but he’s still only thirteen,” Shikaku said. “I’m not saying it’s likely. I’m saying it’s possible. Both Inoichi and I agree you didn’t do enough to vet those two.”

Minato sighed and leaned back in his seat. They’d been over this. He, too, would have liked to vet Tori and Deidara more and give them a longer probation period, but he’d also needed them for this mission.

“Let’s assume it’s a true and fair report of events for today,” Minato said at length. “I’ll let you and Inoichi grill them to your hearts’ content tomorrow.”

Sikaku raised his eyebrows. “And grill them I will,” he promised. “Fighting the Tsuchikage and his guard in close combat? Being twelve no jutsu? C’mon.”

They moved onto what Minato actually wanted Shikaku to talk about. It was unclear what Iwa’s motive was, or what their plan had been, if any, and for how long they’d been planning it. Their many, many analyses of Iwa’s movements and communications leading up to the chunin exam had borne no major red flags.

Tori’s report had made the astute observation that the window for synthesizing and then implementing the chakra poison before it broke down was quite narrow. Iwa would have had to produce it all during the week prior to the tournament, which meant there was some advanced planning, but they theoretically could have made these plans after Team 4 had arrived.

“They would have had to arrange all the equipment and ingredients too,” Shikaku pointed out. “That would have taken months.”

“Unless they already had it for other reasons,” Minato said. This idea, unfortunately, raised a bunch of other questions about why.

“True,” Shikaku replied. “But they’ve never used it before, and we have no intel on what they might need it for that they couldn’t get some other, less convoluted way.”

Shikaku had also gone through the reports on the exam itself, both the half-page Tori had dedicated to it and Kushina’s sprawling initial report she’d penned while babbling to Minato about how she was okay, she promised.

“There’s at least four places I believe an assassination was attempted,” Shikaku concluded. “Your Team Disaster just… didn’t notice, somehow.”

“Oh,” Minato said. He… also hadn’t noticed.

“The first is during the second phase of the chunin exam,” Shikaku said. “Kushina-san states that Tori was attacked by six other participants.”

“Oh,” Minato repeated, now seeing the problem. This had really been a blip on his radar too; Kushina had not expended an ounce of concern for her weakest student. This detail had only made it into the report as an example of Tori making friends immediately with a Kiri-nin in line for the Seven Swordsmen.

But no, actually, they had split up the Konoha genin and sent them off with inadequate weapons. This would have seemed immediately suspicious and unfair, if only it had slowed any of the genin down remotely.

“If I’m right that they were assassination attempts, the earlier attempts are sloppy,” Shikaku observed. “They might have been less well planned. A rushed decision, maybe.”

“Why?” Minato asked.

Shikaku stared at him meaningfully. “You waltzed one of their pet project kids right in there and said he was yours.”

Well.

“That reason doesn’t explain the poison synthesis,” Minato said finally.

“True,” Shikaku agreed. “It’s not the best theory. But we don’t have a best theory yet.”

The last item they discussed was the one that gave Minato the most anxiety.

“The reason they chose chakra poisoning…” he started. The main reason villages had started trying to stock it during the war was that it was one of the very few ways to reliably take down a jinchuriki.

Shikaku let out a long, tired breath.

“We’ve had no known intelligence breeches on Kushina-san,” he said finally. “My current theory is that because she’s a wildcard and all they really knew was that she has high chakra reserves, they wanted something guaranteed to work. But I have no way to verify this.”

“I get Jiraiya on it,” Minato decided.

The Tsuchikage’s communication on the matter arrived by hawk late in the evening, which was about the fastest turnaround time Minato could have expected.

Minato was, at least, in a decent mood when he received it. Kushina had brought Naruto and a home cooked meal up to the office for dinner, and he’d had a good forty-five minutes of laughter and a good-bye kiss from his wife. Shikaku hadn’t come by with a beer, but Akimichi Chouza’s wife had sent a tin of sweet sticky rice treats up to the other two thirds of Shika-Ino-Cho, also working late on this, and a couple of them had ended up on Minato’s desk.

The Tsuchikage’s letter was brief. He did not mention Kushina at all, offering no apology, explanation, or even acknowledgement his village had done anything to her. Instead, he wrote condolences for Minato’s out of control team and forgiveness for their incredible feats of property damage.

As an act of good faith, we will not request monetary compensation for said damages, only that your team be appropriately disciplined, the Tsuchikage’s secretary had written. We do request an international statement from you, disavowing the heinous and untruthful lies your genin chose to shout at our guests in what we could only assume was a poorly considered prank.

Damages listed all but outright admitted that Deidara had indeed personally attacked the Tsuchikage and then sauntered off largely unharmed. Minato couldn’t help it. He laughed.

What the fuck?

xXx

[...]

xXx

Two things of note happened the following week.

One, the Mizukage sent him a letter, penned by her own hand.

I have heard a terrible rumor, which if true, we in Kiri find most sympathetic, the letter started. Further down the page, she continued, Of course, Kiri must discourage any unnecessary retaliation, especially given… [here, Terumi Mei listed a non-exhaustive list of six different post-war treaties] …but know that should this escalate, Kiri is ready to honor its alliance, if we find this rumor to be true.

Terumi Mei then requested Konoha’s official statement in a tone that Minato would venture to call gossipy, and hinted that she wanted to know if he wanted her to contact the Tsuchikage or not. She’d left a lipstick print next to the Mizukage seal, which… Minato was not going to unpack.

Their alliance with Kiri wasn’t especially strong. Kiri had switched their allegiance from the Konoha-Suna side to Iwa-Kumo midway through the war; they’d only negotiated from a peace agreement up to something more like an “alliance” when Terumi Mei had taken over. Their shinobi still regularly clashed along the border, and all their alliance meant was that Minato and Mei just sort of politely looked away and didn’t escalate. On top of that, one of the post-war agreements, as insisted upon by the leader of Ame who’d strong-armed his way into negotiations last moment, was that no shinobi village could enter into an alliance which would require them to join another village’s declaration of war. In other words, an “alliance” didn’t mean Kiri would fight with them, or even lift a finger for them, should the need come.

But it was probably the most positive letter he’d ever gotten from another Kage.

Kiri’s support was also, notably, not something Oonoki seemed to believe Konoha had achieved in his communications. This was a definite win for them.

Nice job, Tori, Minato thought.

Then he buried his face in his hands at the thought. No. Tori could never find out that had worked the way she’d thought it would, or else she would interpret this as carte blanche to do whatever she wanted.

The second thing that happened threw their entire intelligence department for a loop.

He received a letter, not by hawk, but in the form of an animated, flying paper crane. It landed on his desk and then just sat there while his entire ANBU guard descended upon it. Minato was shuffled out of his office while a total of ten experts verified it was safe to touch.

Eventually, someone unfolded the paper to discover it was a letter.

Ame has uncovered some information you might find interesting, a feminine hand had written. We invite you to visit to talk it over. Attach one of your Hiraishin to this paper and come by whenever you wish.

Under it she’d written:

You may bring whoever you like. Your Team 4 seems interesting, for example.

“There’s no way that’s not a trap,” Shikaku said when Minato read it outloud. “Definitely don’t do that.”

Shikaku was right. No one in their right mind would invite Minato to send in a Hiraishin marker. Still, Minato pouted about it to Kushina in bed.

“No one ever invites me,” he complained. Hiruzen had visited other villages plenty of times. Other Kage regularly got to go show up for Chunin Exams, at the very least. But nooo, everyone politely suggested he just send a representative, because he was the scary guy who’d just plant markers to break in again whenever he wanted and kill everyone or whatever they thought would happen.

“I wouldn’t plant a Hiraishin marker on an ally,” Minato said.

Kushina looked up from her second attempt to get through the most recent Icha Icha.

“Yes, you would,” she said bluntly.

Minato pouted some more.

#reborn au #idk sometimes i write characters processing events before i actually write out what happens because. like.#it helps me categorize what i need to make happen and how it could happen #so the actual details might change and the scene might get cut for redundancy but here u go #also i legit forgot danzo is still around being a nuisance so pretend one of the missing scenes is him showing up to undercut minato #while minato goes: AAAAAAAAAH

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pastelninjaimagines · 4 years

Note

If the akatsuki were to take on an apprentice, who would be a good teacher and who would suck lmao

Akatsuki - Best to Worst at being a Sensei

Kisame

Kisame, one of the seven ninja swordsman, teaching someone the art of the sword? YES. He’d honestly be super enthusiastic teaching you how to handle a sword, and after he’s done with you, you’d be one of the best at wielding one. And let’s be real, he’d teach you those sick assassination techniques that the seven ninja swordsman are known for, and all of the secret water ninjutsu form kirigakure. He’d be pretty harsh on you and expect results, but he’d still be patient. He’d practice with you, show you how things are done and demonstrate when you needed to see an example. Honestly, once you really started getting the hang of a technique he’d be bursting with pride. 10/10 great teacher. Pls be this man’s apprentice

Konan

Like Kisame, Konan would be a very patient mentor to her pupil. She would never raise her voice at you or become angry if you weren’t getting her lessons right away. She’d sit down with you and coach you calmly until you perfected whatever technique it was that she was teaching you. But she was a former pupil of Jiraya, she knows what good teaching looks like. She’s not going to spoon feed you the information. While she will help you perfect your techniques, she wants you to first learn the basics by feeling them out for yourself. She’s a great teacher, encouraging, and patient.

Itachi

While Itachi would in no way be eager to take on a mentee, he’d see your eagerness to learn, that burning passion in your eyes, and would be unable to ignore it. He’d be pretty patient, but hands off. He wants you to learn for yourself. He’ll demonstrate whatever it is you’re learning countless times, but he leaves you to figure it out yourself. He’s very kind and understanding, albeit a little scary to approach, but once you get under his shell, he’d be a pretty perfect teacher. Plus, he knows such a wide-range of jutsu that there is so much to learn from him

Sasori

Ok, so you’re probably wondering how a sociopathic misanthrope like Sasori is so goddamn high on the list, but hear me out fam! If, and this is a big if, he sees your talent and potential (like lets say you’re decently adept in poisons or just really adept in general at whatever your specialty is) he’ll take an interest. And if you show an appreciation for his art. Yeah, he’d be interested in taking you under his wing bc no one has truly understood him before. He might ultimately only be interested in you for you to become part of his collection, but there is a small chance that he’ll teach you his art and his jutsu to make sure that it never dies (there is a part of him that wants to cement his legacy). He’d be strict as hell, not very nice or lenient, and patients does not exist with him so you better be a fast learner, but goddamn are you learning shit

Deidara

So here, you wouldn’t really be learning much but you’d have a damn good time. Think how he always tried to act cool with Tobi, but without him losing his temper at you constantly. He’d give you long lectures about what the meaning of his art was and in order for you to be his pupil, you’d have to share his vision unequivocally. It would literally just be him showing off his art to you, not much learning, but you get to enjoy his company, so there’s that.

Nagato Pain

Nagato as the leader of the akatsuki and in his Pain persona would be an awful mentor, and here’s why: his god complex is way too high to ever be effective as a teacher. He’d treat you more as he treats Konan, as his personal assistant and lackey. You wouldn’t be learning too much from him, but you would be elevated to the highest echelon of the Akatsuki’s hierarchy, and Amegakure’s too. You’d be running the village and his organization, doing odd jobs for him. Not very much a teacher, more just your commander. Not very good for a learning experience, but hey you get instant social power so there’s that

Kakuzu

So Kakuzu is so low here bc of his incredibly bad temper and how hard it would be for you to get valuable apprentice status “do not harm.” He’d actually be a pretty good teacher and have some of the most valuable skills worth learning. Not only has he been alive the longest so he’s got a lot of experience, but he knows an insane amount of jutsu, and he’s got those amazing accounting skills that are actually worth knowing. He’ll teach you how to keep the books. Just don’t piss him off. Or you’re better off dead.

Obito

Obito would only take someone under his wing for manipulation purposes. You won’t really be learning anything useful, but you’d be another pawn to further his ultimate plan. Not the best or healthiest relationship ever. He’d also throw you away like nothing, don’t expect him to do a damn thing for you really. And you’d also have to deal with his Tobi persona, the whole things damn complicated. Just don’t do it fam.

Hidan

So, the only way he’d take you under his wing is if you’re interested in Jashinism. He’d lure you in with that, convert you and then yes, you’re ending up as a sacrifice. Mutilated. Very much dead. Don’t do this. Stay away.

Zetsu

Why would you even wanna seek this cactus-looking ass out to be your mentor. Nope. Even if you did he’d be a little shit and refuse (but low key — white zetsu if detached from his black half would help you train, just like he did with Obito, but that’s very conditional)

#akatsuki #kisame hoshigaki #itachi uchiha #negato pain #konan #deidara #sasori #kakuzu #hidan #obito uchiha #zetsu #naruto #naruto shippuden

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might-guys-acorn · 5 years

Note

Do you do hc's? If you do, could you do Akatsuki relationship hc's please?

Ive never done hc's before, but Im gonna do my best :) hope they turn out okay! -🦎

P.S. this post will be super long, so my apologies in advance folks❤

===============================

Pain

Super quiet baby.

Shows his affection through actions, not words

Has difficulties showing his emotions, but genuinely tries his best.

Isnt sure how to be in a relationship, so is very awkward. Stutters a lot when talking to or about you: "Uh.... Y/N.....I think you look, uh, s-stunning today."

Blushes all the time.

You love it

So you do literally anything in your power to cause it. Brushing his hair out of his face, complimenting him in front of others, kissing him on the cheek randomly, etc.

Loves kissing in the rain. It overwhelms his senses, from the feel of the drops on his skin, to the smell of your hair, to the light shiver he can feel run down your spine after a while. He loves every second.

Will do anything for you. Legitimately ready to end the world for the one that he loves

Konan

Super sentimental type

Talks about her past a lot, and wants to hear all about yours.

Emotional connection is an absolute must, looks are always second in her book

Want you to get along with her friends, specifically Pain. You two are the most important people in her life, so its essential that you get along.

Thinks its precious that youre interested in her hobbies. Plenty of nights will be spent trying to help you learn origami, but at the end of the day, theres just a bunch of lopsided cranes and crumple flowers around the two of you asleep on the carpet.

I dont think shed be much of a cook, so meals are a must for you. She'll always compliment you on it though : "Y/N, this breakfast looks lovely. How'd I end up with a catch like you?"

She does make a mean cup of tea though

Likes to leave little notes or origami figures around for you to find when shes away :)

Deidara

Super obnoxious ngl

Likes to show you off to everybody. Like. Everyone. Other members, enemies, people on the street. You name it.

"LOOK AT MY S/O! ARENT THEY THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BEING YOUVE EVER SEEN? THEY ARE ART ITSELF, I ALMOST WANT TO BLOW THEM UP, THEYRE THAT GORGEOUS."

Theres never a quiet moment with him

Especially right before bed, when he starts to babble nonsense because hes tired. You never knew a person could have so many thoughts until he never let one pass without it leaving his mouth

His babbling is pretty endearing though, because he is forever thinking about how amazing you are

But the only way to shut him up is to kiss him

Luckily, hes an incredibly good kisser

Will forever refer to you as his muse. And model many an artwork after you. Its very sweet until he makes them explode to show off the 'true beauty'

Sasori

Very detached at the beginning

Doesnt like having ties to this world

But he soon realizes there's no way to get rid of you, and he doesnt particularly want to either.

After that realization, he spends as much time with you as possible

Expect lots of cuddles, quiet nights, and endless hours of talking. About his past, his parents, his puppets. He wants you to know it all, because he feels like with all of it, he has to be unlovable

Is very shocked when you stick around and accept him, becomes very attached to you afterwards.

Doesnt do dates often, but on the occasional one, hes incredibly punctual and expects you to be

Hes very insecure about his "heart". He absolutely melts if you take time to let him know that its wonderful, just like him

Overall, hes just very relieved to have you in his life

Itachi

Truly surprised to be in a relationship at all

This isnt part of his mission

100% soft boi™️

Loves to hold your hand, kiss your knuckles, gaze into your eyes, all of it. Anything he has to do to remind himself that youre real, and that you love him.

Becomes a literal puddle when he realizes youre trying to name and differentiate all of his crows

Lets you feed them regularly and marvels at how sweet they are to you

Doesnt understand how someone so pure could be with someone like him, but wont complain simply because he hates the thought of losing this light he's found in his life.

Spends all his time making sure youre happy. Taking care of you when your sick, reading to you on long nights, cuddling you when you get sad. He just wants you to feel better

Doesnt give gifts often, so when you find your favorite one of his crows (Midnight, youd named it) sitting on the table with a red bow around his neck, you cry for hours.

He gets confused and thinks hes done something wrong, but you just kiss him and tell him that its perfect.

Kisame

Doesnt realize hes fallen for you until he sees you wading in a river late at night, singing softly to yourself

Really likes holding your hand

Has some jealousy problems, but not because he doesn't trust you. He just doesn't trust everyone else.

Lots of beach dates

Thinks it's adorable how he has to convince you to get out of the water when its gotten dark and cold

Prefers you don't give him nicknames, just really likes the way his name sounds when it comes out of your mouth

Loves that youre not scared of Samehada, and thinks its precious when you talk to it like its a pet and not a sword

Is even more smitten when Samehada coos back at you, its loyalty to you both means the world to him

Hidan

Insists on your belief in Jashin

Wants you to believe and become immortal with him

The eternal Bonnie and Clyde

Also the kinkiest of the bunch

Has zero issue talking about bedroom business in front of anybody

Likes how you blush when he brings it up in front of large groups of people

"Aw look at how red your cheeks get, thats so cute"

Does things to get on your nerves, because he loves watching you react. Seeing how flustered he can make you is a frequent game he'll play, cuz your anger is just as cute as your smile

Likes to casually hand you his scythe even though its too heavy for you to handle

Watching you try to hold it up makes him laugh, and you yelling at him for laughing only makes it worse honestly

Will try to get you to go on missions with him, simply because you two work together better than anyone else. No one knows him like you do, so sacrifices are always more fruitful with your presence.

Kakuzu

The most distant of the organization

Will be very difficult to connect with

But when he realizes that you seem to know the bingo book better than he does, will insist that you work on his team

From there, he'll see your personality and be thankful for all the hearts he has, because there can be an extra to give to you.

Your smile makes his day, and seeing the way you squeal when the pay comes in for a takedown melts every heart he's got

Thankful that youre just as much of a tightwad as he is, it means you make a very cheap date

Appreciates your intellect, and is happy to have a partner that is as smart as they are attractive, unlike his past partner Hidan.

Silences are an essential part of the relationship, but niether of you mind. Your presence is all he needs to feel at ease, rather than filling the air with meaningless small talk

Tobi

Never fails to laugh at your jokes

Enjoys making you laugh, even if it means making himself look like an idiot

Definition of silly romantic

Will spend lots of time telling you that youre special to him, even if its in a way that doesnt make sense

"I dont need gravity when Im with you, Im always on cloud 9"

Likes to mess with you when you try to touch him by tranferring his body to other dimensions

"Youll have to try harder if you really want to hold my hand, Y/N"

When he does get serious, though, he'll pull you to his other dimension to talk. Its quieter and theres no risk of interruptions

Likes to hug you from behind, and always has a dumb joke on hand if he ever sees you crying

#akatsuki #akatsuki headcannons #pain #konan #deidara #sasori #hidan #itachi #kisame #tobi #naruto imagines #naruto #kakuzu

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a-damson-in-distress · 5 years

Text

The Protégé 4

Pairing: MadaSaku

Plot: In search of a new cellist for his prestigious orchestra, an infamously feared maestro stumbles upon a young rising star.

The Protégé 1

The Protégé 2

The Protégé 3

Edit: I almost forgot to add this super important note: A thousand thank yous to my regulars who have followed this story from the get-go. There are a few of you who never fail to show their appreciation and never forget to leave an encouraging comment. Don’t think I don’t notice you, you stalkers ;). I am immensly thankful for your feedback and your comments, they keep me so motivated and give me a sense of validation, like this isn’t just some sort of private thing that I only create for myself and nobody else gives a shit about it. If five hundred people read my story without leaving a comment or anything and I’ve only got the few reviews from you guys, it’s still enough to show me that my work is appreciated. So thank you!

Note: For those of you who are as confused about orchestral stage etiquette as I am and have no idea what’s going on with the whole handshake thing in this chapter, here’s what I found out about it while doing research for chapter four: The first violinist in an orchestra is also called the concert master, he represents the entire orchestra and functions as a sort of “team captain” if you will. So whenever the maestro invites a soloist, the soloist is supposed to shake hands with the maestro (thanking him for the invitation basically) as well as the concert master (though there are variations to this, some only shake hands before the performance, some before and after, etc.). By shaking the CM’s hand, the soloist essentially thanks all of the other musicians for their collaboration as solo concertos are usually a group effort, and you know the soloist can’t go around shaking the hands of a hundred people so they usually only shake hands with the CM *gasp* wow that was a long explanation. Aaaaaaanyway, here’s a video of the concerto Sakura is performing in this chapter: Camille Saint-Saën’s Cello Concerto No.1 in A minor.

Enjoy, have fun reading, let me know if you liked it, leave a comment, send a carrier pigeon, send a smoke signal, you know whatever floats your boat. You know the drill.

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“A little to the left. Chin up. Perfect, stay that way.”

Sakura had trouble not squinting her eyes when the photographer unleashed another onslaught of camera flashes upon her. She was currently in his studio doing a photo shoot for the orchestra’s and the theatre’s official websites. Her probation period was over, and they were only a week away from kicking off their tour after their first performance at home, so now the New National Theatre was going to officially announce her as the principal cellist of Maestro Uchiha’s ensemble complete with interviews, articles, videos of her rehearsals, and ridiculously over-the-top photographs.

The nickname the press had given her after her solo in Sapporo spread like wildfire, and the orchestra’s publicist decided to capitalise on her image as the Imperatrix Furiosa. So they put her in a majestic velvet evening gown dyed in a scandalous scarlet with a skirt wide enough to allow her to spread her legs to accommodate her cello on the throne-like chair she was currently sitting in. Her hair was tied up into an overly dramatic and intricate updo and fastened with fancy kanzashi hair pins that were sticking out in such a manner they made it look like she was wearing a crown.

The dress and accessories paired with the red lipstick and dramatic eye make-up made her look every bit the Furious Empress and the enticing femme fatale of Japan’s classical music scene the publicist wanted her to portray.

And Sakura hated every second of it.

“Do you think you have enough pictures now?” the young cellist asked tentatively while trying to hold her unnatural pose.

Deidara, the orchestra’s publicist, looked up from the laptop where her photographs appeared right after being snapped. “Just a few more, sweety. You’re doing great, though.” He gave her an encouraging thumbs-up and shot her an apologetic smile. Great, Sakura mused silently, she must have looked more uncomfortable than she thought. And here she was thinking she was good at hiding it.

“Seriously, though, we need to wrap this up. She’s got rehearsal in an hour, and Madara will chop off my head if his MVP is late,” Sakura heard the blonde publicist explain to the photographer. She sincerely hoped the heavy make-up was covering the deep blush she could feel spreading across her cheeks at his remark. Did her Maestro really tell the publicist she was his most valuable musician?

“No grinning, please,” came the photographer’s command from behind his lens.

Right. Stop daydreaming, Sakura reminded herself.

Straightening her back and schooling her features, the pink-haired cellist remained motionless on her make-shift throne. After a few more minutes of clicking, snapping, repositioning, and flashing, Sakura was finally free to get out of her dress and wash off all that make-up. She undid her complicated updo and gathered her hair into a high puffy ponytail. Putting on her pastel green boat neck dress with box pleats and slipping into her simple white ballerinas, she immediately felt more comfortable, like her young and goofy self and not the mature and seductive diva the photographer wanted her to be.

“Chop-chop, darling. Maestro Menacing is waiting for you.” Sakura was torn from her thoughts at the sound of Deidara calling out from the other side of the closed door. The young musician had to supress a smirk at the sound of the nickname she knew the publicist secretly used for her Maestro. He wasn’t entirely wrong, Mr Uchiha really could come across as menacing and unapproachable. But Sakura had gotten to know another side of him over the last weeks as well. There was a gentleness to him he only rarely showed, tiny little smiles of satisfaction and subtle gestures of encouragement. As much as she appreciated his constructive criticism, she loved his nods of approval and his well done, Ms Haruno’s even more.

And she couldn’t wait to prove herself to her Maestro during the upcoming tour and hope for a bit more of his praise she so selfishly craved.

After Deidara and Sakura left the photographer’s studio, they immediately headed back to the theatre where the rest of Maestro Uchiha’s ensemble was already preparing themselves for one of their last rehearsals before kicking off their tour. Sakura took her usual seat to the right of the conductor’s music stand. She was so busy tuning her cello, she didn’t even notice her Maestro approach his podium.

“Ms Haruno.” A deep voice made her look up in surprise and she was met with the sight of the raven-haired conductor casually leaning on the rail of his podium with his strong arms crossed in front of his broad chest, clad in a meticulous three-piece suit sans the jacket.

The young cellist prayed to God her blush wasn’t as visible as she thought it was.

“Yes, Maestro?” she answered in a small voice.

“How was the photoshoot?”

Sakura gave him a weak smile and chuckled softly. “Honestly? It was horrible. They dressed me up in this heavy, floor-length gown and backcombed my hair so much it looked like I had a bird’s nest on my head in the end. And I had so much make-up on I could literally feel my pores dying a horrible death by asphyxiation. Please don’t look at the photos once they upload them.”

“I’m sure it wasn’t that bad. But if it makes you feel any better, I will not go actively looking for your pictures. Though I have to admit, I would love to see a pink bird’s nest.” Her Maestro’s teasing grin made her giggle, and Sakura looked up at the raven-haired conductor with a huge smile on her face.

Just in that moment, she could hear the sound of a camera shutter from her left. Both her Maestro and Sakura turned around in surprise and spotted Deidara standing in the middle of the countless rows of seats with a camera in his hand.

“Finally. Do you know how difficult it is to get a photo of two people together who both hate to pose for pictures? You two are a publicist’s nightmare, but you’re lucky you’re so goddamn photogenic.”

Sakura turned to Maestro Uchiha and looked at him questioningly. With an annoyed eye roll, he explained, “Deidara said he needed a picture of the two of us together for our countless social media profiles. He wants to make a post about me welcoming you to the ensemble or whatever, and apparently, I cannot officially welcome you without a picture.”

His obvious annoyance with the blonde publicist elicited another laugh from the young cellist. Sakura watched her conductor narrow his eyes at her before his own lips spread into a tiny amused grin.

“Alright, that’s enough giggling now, Ms Haruno. If you keep enjoying my jokes like that, the other members of my orchestra might start to think I actually have a heart.”

Biting on her bottom lip to keep herself from chuckling at his quip and again hoping that her blush wouldn’t betray her, the young cellist focused her gaze on her sheet music and readied her instrument for the rehearsal. The other musicians took their seats as well, filling up the vacant space around Sakura, and fixed their eyes on the conductor.

Maestro Uchiha gave his final orders, raised his baton, and the musicians started playing.

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“I finally got Naruto to accept my karaoke challenge. He’s going to do Leona Lewis’ Bleeding Love at the bar tonight, you gotta come with us!”

The pink-haired cellist looked up from her sheet music and was met with the face of her new roommate Ino, the principal clarinet of their ensemble. After her first rehearsal with the Tokyo Metropolitan Symphony Orchestra, Temari had introduced her to some people she claimed were the only tolerable ones, and Sakura immediately hit it off with the blonde musician. Not long after getting to know each other, Ino offered her to move in with her after her previous roommate accepted another job in a different city. Though some of her newly found friends in the orchestra, who had all known Ino for a long time now, jokingly advised her against it with the explanation that she’s bi and you’re annoyingly adorable and totally her type, she’ll eat you up and spit you out, Sakura hadn’t regretted a single second of being the roommate of the exuberant and feisty clarinet player.

“Sure, I’ll be there. I just need a minute to talk to the Maestro,” Sakura answered with an amused grin.

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Ino bounce up and down with excitement. “Yay, it’s gonna be so great. We always go out the night before our first performance, without any alcohol of course,” the blonde musician added in a loud voice, pointedly looking in Maestro Uchiha’s direction before continuing, “but still, you’re gonna have so much fun with us. I’ll see you at home. And don’t be late, missy, I still need to do your makeup.”

Sakura was met with the end of Ino’s perfectly manicured index finger pointed accusingly at her face before the blonde turned on her heel and strutted off the stage as if it were her own personal catwalk.

Gathering her things, the pink-haired cellist made her way to the Maestro, who was currently busy berating his principal percussionist Naruto for goofing around with his timpani sticks during a break and pretending to have a swordfight with his fellow players. She decided to wait for them to finish and came to a halt in the middle of the string section when she realised that their orchestra’s concert master Kabuto was seemingly also waiting for a word with their conductor.

The grey-haired violinist was one of the musicians who hadn’t even spared her a glance on her first day. But while most of them seemed to have come around in the meantime or have at least started greeting their newest member, Kabuto was still adamantly giving her the cold shoulder. Whenever she tried talking to him, Sakura was met with nothing but haughty looks and condescending remarks. Though she had to admit, the moments of interaction between them were few and far between, because Sakura tried to keep them to a minimum. Their concert master was clearly of the highly competitive sort, and Sakura had no intention of letting him drag her into a musical pissing contest.

And still, manners were manners, so the cellist forced a tight smile and greeted him.

“Hey, Kabuto. Excited for our first concert tomorrow?”

The grey-haired violinist slowly turned his head and looked down his nose at her. He studied her for a second with narrowed eyes, as if trying to discern whether or not she was worthy of an answer, before opening his mouth, “I’m sure you are.”

Supressing the urge to roll her eyes at his usual cryptic answer, Sakura instead ignored his remark and cleared her throat. “So um, every CM seems to be handling stage etiquette a bit differently, so I wanted to ask you how you want to do the handshake tomorrow? Before and after, or just after or do you –“

“Honestly, Haruno, I couldn’t care less about the handshake or your solo. But if this really is so confusing to you, why don’t you go ask Daddy for help? It’s not like our Maestro has anything better to do than take his new little girl by the hand and show her how things work around here.”

What the hell was that supposed to mean?

Sakura could feel her cheeks heating up at his embarrassing remark, and she stared at him open-mouthed, stunned into silence. Luckily, she didn’t have to come up with an answer, since Kabuto was approached by another violinist in that moment, asking him whether he wanted to go out tonight.

“No thanks, I’ll be staying at the theatre for a while longer. I’ve got other plans for later,” the concert master explained with a devious grin.

After the violinist left, Kabuto made no attempt to address Sakura again, and Maestro Uchiha was still not done chewing out Naruto. Since she felt so incredibly uncomfortable in Kabuto’s presence, the young musician decided to grab her cello case and leave. Not even the prospect of talking to Maestro Uchiha for a few minutes was worth it, if it meant she had to spend another second in awkward silence with the concert master who seemed to hate her guts.

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There was a ritual Madara had long formed a habit of going through before every concert he was going to conduct. It consisted of him mumbling every single articulation in chronological order of every piece of that night’s programme while he re-arranged the seats of his musicians on stage. Even though the stage crew of every theatre he ever worked at never failed to position everything correctly, the conductor still felt more at east when he could move every chair and every music stand to just the perfect spot.

Madara was currently contemplating whether to push a sax player’s seat half a centimetre to the left or to the right when he heard a commotion from backstage. He followed the noise to the labyrinth of dressing rooms where his eyes caught sight of three blonde musicians rushing from one room to the next, frantically looking for something.

“What do you mean, she can’t find it. It must be there!” Temari came rushing past him with a handbag before she promptly dumped its content on a table and started digging through it.

“I don’t know. When we got home last night, I asked her if all of her stuff was ready in the dressing room. She told me she checked everything three times, even tried on the shoes just to be safe, because she was afraid they gave her the wrong size.”

Madara watched his principal clarinet go through the countless makeup bags before she turned to another person in the hall. “Naruto, did you check the clothing racks in all the dressing rooms?” Madara’s gaze landed on the blonde percussionist who just entered the room with an apologetic shake of his head.

Clearing his throat to get their attention, the raven-haired conductor leaned against the door frame and let his gaze wander around the dressing room in which the three musicians were currently bustling about.

“Our concert starts in half an hour. I sincerely hope you’ll find whatever you’re so desperately looking for.”

Madara’s accusatory gaze met the desperate look of the blonde clarinet player before she approached him, grabbing his arm and tugging him down the hall.

“Maestro, you need to help us. It’s an emergency.”

Ino came to a halt in front of the closed door of another dressing room and knocked twice before letting herself in. Madara stayed behind, still unsure of what was really going on.

“Oh God, Ino, please tell me you have it, please! I need to be ready before anyone finds out, or before he finds out. Please, we need to hurry, Maestro Uchiha absolutely can’t know about this, or I’m screwed!”

Madara’s heart suddenly lurched in his chest at the sound of Sakura’s distraught voice so close to tears. He took a step forward and entered the room where he was met with the sight of his principal cellist dressed up in her concert outfit, a dark-green fitted pant suit, black patent leather Oxford’s, and a white blouse fully buttoned up – and missing a bow tie.

“Ms Haruno, what’s going on?”

She fixed her scared, wide eyes on him, and Madara was immediately hit with the urge to envelop her in his arms and assure her he’ll make everything right for her again.

The conductor couldn’t help but let his gaze be drawn to her beautiful mouth, invited by the sight of her teeth chewing on her bottom lip before releasing it to speak.

“Maestro, I’m so so sorry, but I … I can’t seem to find my bow tie. But I swear to God it was here. After the rehearsal and before I left the theatre yesterday, I checked if all of my stuff was ready like you told us and I swear to God my outfit was complete, I know I saw the bow tie with the rest of my clothes. But now it’s gone and we looked everywhere and I don’t know what to do. God, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry to disappoint you.” Her voice was shaky and on the verge of tears and Madara had to consciously restrain the urge in his feet to run to her.

He was just about to say something to comfort the distraught young cellist when he heard more voices approaching the dressing room. The maestro turned around to see a small crowd gathered outside the door, all asking and wondering what was going on with their youngest member.

“Nothing to see here, alright? Just looking for a lost bow tie. We’ll be ready any second now, so scram, got it?” The blonde clarinet player fixed the crowd with a stern gaze and waved her hands in front of her to signal the other musicians to disperse.

“Maybe we should help look? I’m sure we’ll find it faster that way. Then we can all get back to our preparations in peace.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Madara could see Sakura’s head shoot up and her eyes widen in surprise at the sound of his concert master’s suggestion. But before anybody could say anything, Kabuto had already turned around and left.

“I’m sorry for troubling you with this, Maestro. We actually promised Sakura not to tell you anything, but we really couldn’t find it anywhere after looking for so long, and now we’re kind of lost.” Ino’s apologetic gaze was shooting back and forth between the conductor and his principal cellist.

“It’s quite alright, Ms Yamanaka. I’m glad you told me. Now I can get to the bottom of this myself.”

When he saw Sakura’s worried expression turn even more desperate, Madara felt like slapping himself. That came out way more threatening than he intended it to. He was just about to clarify his statement when he heard a knock on the open door which made all their heads turn around.

Kabuto was standing in the doorway with his right hand raised, a bow tie dangling from the edge of his middle finger. “You’ll never guess where I found this,” he said in a casual tone, a barely visible smirk gracing his features.

Madara watched his principal clarinet cross her arms in front of her chest. “Oh I’m sure I will.”

Kabuto ignored her, instead stepping into the dressing room and approaching Sakura. “Somehow, it landed in a drawer of one of the dressing tables.” He slipped the bow tie off his middle finger, and Sakura barely had enough time to catch it. “Lucky for you I’m so thorough at everything I do.” He gave her what was probably meant to be a half-baked attempt at a sincere smile and then turned to face Madara, his fake grin widening, before he left the room.

The maestro’s eyes landed on the young cellist in front of him again, who was still staring after the concert master with a look of confusion. He glanced at his watch and cleared his throat.

“Everybody out. I need a minute with Ms Haruno.”

After her friends hesitantly left the room and closed the door behind them, Madara let his gaze rest on Sakura’s downcast head. It was then the maestro realised she was playing with the bow tie in her hand, tugging at it and turning it around between her fingers. She was nervous.

“Ms Haruno, look at me.”

At the sound of his soft command, Sakura slowly raised her head to meet his gaze. Madara had to supress a groan at the sight of her teeth chewing on her bottom lip again.

“Please don’t be mad at me,” her whispering voice pleaded with him.

“I’m not mad, Ms Haruno. I know none of this was your fault, trust me.” He closed his hands over her fidgeting ones and took the bow tie.

“Chin up.”

The young cellist just stared at him for a second, jade-green eyes wide with confusion.

Madara took a step closer to her, put a finger beneath her chin and forced her head up. He then proceeded to turn up her collar and fasten the bow tie around her neck.

“You’re not going to allow this incident to rattle you, you’re better than this and we both know it. Once I call you up on stage, you’re going to walk up there like you own the place, play your solo to perfection, and blow everyone away.” He gave her bow tie a final tug.

“Have I made myself understood, Ms Haruno?” Madara looked down at her with a strict gaze and a tiny amused smirk gracing his lips.

“Yes, Maestro,” Sakura nodded enthusiastically while smiling up at him with a look of pure determination.

“Good.” Madara grabbed her chin between his fingers and leaned closer to her face before murmuring, “I wouldn’t expect anything less form my protégé.”

He watched with satisfaction as a deep blush spread across her cheeks and her jade-green eyes widened in surprise, staring up at him with that look of wonder, reverence, and gratification she only seemed to have reserved for him, as if his praise was the only thing in the world giving her life meaning.

Unable to resist, Madara allowed his gaze to rest on her inviting lips for a split second before letting go off her chin and forcing himself to leave her dressing room.

His thoughts kept swirling around the young cellist even as he stepped onto the stage amidst tumultuous applause. The conductor had to admit that it was a good decision not to have Sakura join the ensemble for the entire programme but only for her solo in the last half hour; he probably wouldn’t have been able to keep his eyes from her. Though that wasn’t the original reason for not having her on stage for the entire performance. What Madara was really hoping to achieve with the late entrance of his principal cellist was to give her the grand introduction deserving of a musician of her calibre. After all, the Tokyo Metropolitan Symphony Orchestra was one of the most prestigious ensembles in the world of classical music, and Sakura Haruno wasn’t just anybody. And a good maestro knows to save the best for last.

Despite his mind being distracted with the image of her inviting lips only centimetres away from his own, Madara was still able to focus on the musicians in front of him as he led his orchestra through the concert’s programme. After they finished their second to last piece and when it was time for Sakura’s solo, he signalled his ensemble to quiet down, turned around on his podium to face the audience and grabbed a microphone.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, as you may have heard the Tokyo Metropolitan Symphony Orchestra has signed on a new member. As of this April, our vacant spot of principal cellist was filled with an immensely talented young musician from Kyoto. Though she doesn’t need an introduction, she’s going to get one anyway. She is an award-winning cello prodigy who was the youngest ever recipient of the first Grand Prize at the Rostropovitch Cello Competition at the age of sixteen. She studied under Takanori Nakano, Stjepan Hauser, and Steven Isserlis, to mention but a few. After establishing herself as a world-renowned cellist in her previous orchestras, she will now join us for our tour as the newest and youngest member of my ensemble. Ladies and Gentlemen, you will now hear Camille Saint-Saëns’ Cello Concerto number 1 in A minor with our new principal cellist Sakura Haruno as the soloist.”

Madara put down the microphone, stepped off his podium, and walked off the stage to where Sakura was waiting for him.

“Ready?” he asked with an encouraging smile.

She answered with a determined nod as her lips spread into an excited grin. “As I’ll ever be.”

The maestro signalled her to lead the way. As the cellist stepped onto the stage with her instrument in hand, the audience erupted into thunderous applause. Madara followed after her, clapping his hands like the rest of the guests and the musicians of his ensemble. He watched her bow deeply to the audience before turning to Kabuto and shaking his hand with a smug grin plastered on her face. She waited for Madara to step onto his podium before shaking his hand as well.

“Give ‘em hell, Ms Haruno.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see another one of her blushes he liked so much taint her cheeks as she took a seat and readied herself with a subtle, sincere smile gracing her lips.

Madara raised his baton while Sakura steadied her bow above the strings of her cello. They shared one last look, the cellist looking up at her maestro for guidance and the maestro giving her a tiny smile of approval. He nodded to his entire ensemble.

As the music enveloped the large concert hall, Madara could see Sakura sway in her seat, eyes closed and completely surrendering herself to her instrument. He knew in that moment that she was gone now, transporting her mind into whatever utopia she conjured up whenever she let go and allowed her music to simply take her away.

As easy as it was for him to get and hold her attention, the maestro had to begrudgingly admit that music still seemed to be the only thing able to ensnare her in a way he could not. He was going to have to change that soon enough, he decided.

But for the time being, Madara let her be. His protégé was lost to the world now, anyway.

#naruto #naruto fanfiction #naruto fanfic #madasaku #madasaku fanfic #sakumada #madara uchiha #madara uchiha fanfic #Sakura Haruno #sakura haruno fanfic

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akatsukibandhscenarios · 5 years

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72. How the Kids Deal With the Baby/Babies

Pein

Elliot was eager to hold Yuki and take care of her. It surprised you and Pein greatly. You didn't think your son would like to be around his loud and smelly younger sister, but he really took to her well. You were glad that he was so hands-on with her because that meant it was like having another parent around.

There was just one thing he wasn't willing to do, well two really. He wasn't willing to wake up in the middle of the night with her, but that was understandable because he had other things to attend to during the day. The other thing was that he wasn't willing to change her diaper. He tried it once but was so horrified that he couldn't even attempt to do it again. You were alright with that though, since he did nearly everything else with her.

Zetsu

Danny was not happy with the new baby. He wasn't happy that Mai cried at night or sometimes smelled horrible due to a dirty diaper. Danny would actively avoid her and would try to get out of watching her at all costs. It infuriated you and Zetsu, but you figured that he'd eventually grow out of it and come to love his sister like Sammy does, so you mainly relied on Sammy.

That boy loved his little sister. He loved to help you out with her all of the time. Any free time he had, he was spending it with his sister and helping you take care of her. Sammy would take part in all aspects of taking care of her. Even bathing her and changing diapers. He was a little nervous at first, but once he got the hang of it, he was another mom.

Sasori

Tara was alright with the new baby. However, as soon as Fuyu began to cry or smell bad, she was out of there. She didn't like to deal with the gross and loud side of her baby brother. She would help feed him and bathe him sometimes, but she refused to change a dirty diaper. She once tried it and ended up getting peed on, so she was done after that. She would give support from far away for those types of things.

While Tara was just alright with the baby, Dahlia was great with him. She helped with late-night feedings. She helped with dirty diapers and even bath time. She was like a second mother to Fuyu. She seemed to adore her younger brother and you and Sasori were thankful for that. You hoped that as she grew older, she would still love Fuyu.

Itachi

Serenity was great with the twins. Natsu and Haru were in great hands with Serenity. It surprised you how great she was with them. She would feed them whenever they needed feeding, almost more times than you fed them. She would change their diapers but usually wore safety goggles and gloves, just in case. She would even bathe them with your help. She seemed to just adore her new sisters.

She would even wake up at all hours just to give you a break with the twins. If you asked her, she'd probably take over being the mother figure to them. That's how much she adored them. There wasn't anything she wouldn't do with or for Natsu and Haru. She was completely prepared for the smelly and loud sides of her sisters. You hoped that as she grew older, she would stay this way and continue to help and adore them.

Deidara

Nova wanted nothing to do with her twin brothers. She thought they were loud, smelly and obnoxious. It seemed like Reiji and Tokiya thought the same of her because whenever she was around them, they screamed and threw fits. It was like they could sense her hatred of them. You thought that she would take to them well, but she refused to do anything for or with them.

Nova wouldn't feed them, wouldn't bathe them, wouldn't change their diapers and even wouldn't watch them for a second for you to go into another room for something. She was 100% completely against them. It was quite shocking for you and Deidara due to Nova's normally upbeat and friendly personality. You just hoped that she would grow out of it and come to love her baby brothers and hope that Reiji and Tokiya would come to love her as well.

Hidan

Sarah did not like Kirai and Kazan one bit. She didn't like interacting with them, she didn't like speaking to them and she especially didn't like dealing with them. Meaning, she didn't like to feed them, didn't like to hold them and didn't like to change their diapers. She even refused to watch them. Though, she would at least check in on them if you weren't able to. As long as they were sleeping.

While his sister didn't like the babies, Justin joined in with her. He didn't like to even be around the babies. He didn't like to be involved with anything revolving the babies. He refused to do anything with them and even refused to even check up on them while they were sleeping. It made things a bit difficult for you and Hidan. You could only hope that your children would get over whatever was bothering them and grow to love their new siblings.

Kakuzu

Kristina seemed to like Akihiko well enough. She was at least willing to deal with the baby, most days. She loved to feed him, despite the mess he created. She loved to watch over him and take care of him when he was crying. She especially enjoyed it when he was asleep though. She did enjoy her breaks from her little brother.

Kristina, however, would not do a few things with Akihiko. Those things turned out to be changing him and bathing him. Plus, dealing with him when he smelled bad for any particular reason. She would then avoid him until he smelled better. She couldn't stand the smell of a dirty diaper and she especially couldn't stand the thought of changing that horrid smelling thing. You understood, so she was off the hook with those things. You knew she would be a good big sister regardless.

Tobi

Dexter for some reason, was not happy with Ai. He didn't like her one bit and he refused to explain why. Therefore, he refused to do anything with her. He refused to feed her, refused to bathe her and even refused to just watch her while you were away from Ai. He didn't want anything to do with her. It upset you and Obito greatly. You had thought he would have been a good brother.

It seemed like his feelings towards Ai were not reciprocated. Ai seemed to love Dexter. She would laugh and seem super happy whenever he was around her for a short time when you forced him to be. She just wanted to be held by him and wanted him near her all of the time. She would even cry when he walked away from her. Dexter didn't care about her crying because of him though when upset you even further.

Kisame

Alexander loved Kira and Shion. He would happily do anything for them. He wanted to always feed them, bathe them and even change their diapers. He wanted to be around them all the time and loved to just watch them or hold them when he was left along with them. He truly loved his siblings. There wasn't anything that he wouldn't do for them. It was really sweet to watch him handling the babies.

Alexander would even wake up in the middle of the night with them. He was like a second father to them. He told you that he would even die for them if he needed to, but that was extremely extreme so you told him not to do that. You understood what he meant though. He just adored the twins so dearly that he would do anything possible with and for them. You knew that he would protect them at all costs.

Madara

Eclipse did not handle Ren well, at all. She found him to be quite annoying. Whenever he cried, she would complain. Whenever he smelled bad, she would complain even more. You knew that despite that, she loved her brother and would protect him, you just wished that she would be more hands-on with the boy. As she refused to do anything for or with him.

Adryn was slightly better with Ren. She would at least take care of him when she was supposed to. She would feed him and watch over him, but not bathe him or change his diaper. She seemed to at least obviously love her brother. She would also be another protector but a more hands-on one.

Arcadia was a completely different story. She completely adored her younger brother. She would happily feed him, watch over him, bathe him and even change his diaper. She would wake up at all hours to take care of him even if you were already awake with him. She was already a protector of him. She was a second mother to the boy.

#akatsuki #itachi uchiha #kisame hoshigaki

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cyabae · 5 years

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TOP-10 Naruto Eurovision Characters

No one asked for it, but this is what the world needs right now. I’m going to list top-10 characters who would perform well in Eurovision. And to the person who’s asking: “Is this post cursed?” - no, it’s blessed with sparkling vibes, love, love, peace, peace. ♡

10. TSUNADE

Look, I know, I know… When you think about burning pianos and sparkling outfits, Tsunade isn’t the first person who comes to mind. However, you can bet that she’s the one who found some extra money to support the broadcast, made sure that the safety standards were met and bought some champagne (out of her own pocket) for the Raikage to convince him that Kumo doesn’t fall apart even if it shows this glitter feast to its citizens. Probably made all the confetti herself, yes, the whole stadium of it ‘cause everyone else was too distracted. Sure, she passed out 15 minutes before the show began but she’s the one who’s behind of it all and therefore should win. But since we want more sparkles, we’ll give her 1 point.

9. SHISUI

Every good song contest needs a ballad. Fear not, Shisui is the right man for the job! His beautiful sad red eyes will capture your chakra and make you sob like no tomorrow as he begins to sing a song about blindly falling into a swirling abyss. No one knows whether his best friend is able to save the day. It’s possible that Shisui’s early demise was in vain. That’s depressing, people conclude, as Shisui smiles softly for one last time. A tragic death is something that everyone can relate to – we’ve all been there. However, the jury is kinda awkward ‘cause there are speculations that this song has Danzō references, 2 points but in our hearts, the ballad boy is the true winner of the night.

8. DEIDARA

Oh, wow, the atmosphere got kinda sad after those heartbreaking melodies. It’s time to lift up the mood with a big, big BOOM! Deidara will steal the show with his self-made clay bombs. The rumor has it that someone else was going to take care of the fireworks before our favorite pyrotechnic took the matters into his own hands (quite literally). His high-quality standards were too much to chew for the art director. Deidara’s performance will absolutely bombard you with fleeting beauty of explosions and 2007 nostalgia, 3 points!

7. KISAME

Ballads and groovy rock hits are essential. However, there’s a beautiful middle ground to be found between the two. Enter the sharkman Kisame! There’s something so chill about him that it puts the audience in a good mood. When he steps on the stage, you can almost feel a light sea breeze and hear a distant cry of seagulls. And oh boy, what do we have here? A Samehada? That’s so wicked, just like those geysers that extinguish the fire from the previous performance, possibly saving dozens of lives. Wherever Kisame goes, good luck follows. Except for that one time in Kumo. This unfortunate occurrence doesn’t require any attention right now. This night is all about peace and love, all that morbid talk about sharknados can wait. 4 points.

6. MADARA

Go big or go home! It’s Madara’s turn. He’s prepared for his moment of glory for decades and won’t be afraid to spice up things with some meteor showers and hundreds of copies of himself. Those clones may seem invisible but they’re conjuring meteor showers, too. We may never know whether the lord First himself is impressed. He probably is. At least the rest of the world is in awe. Technically, Madara is banned from the event due to multiple violations of the rules, but even the jury is too amazed to care. They want to acknowledge the persistent work and grand him 5 points before anyone realizes that banned performances are banned.

5. GAI

The Green Beast of Konoha is about to hit the stage. He was absolutely made for quality content like this. His jumpsuit has been a song contest classic ever since the dawn of time, not to mention that this dance-friendly outfit allows him to move smoothly. The dress is a killer, youthful like a lunchbox. Gai’s presence sets every piano in the world on fire, and you can bet that those flames are also emerald green. 6 points.

4. JUUBI

Once you think you’ve seen it all, it’s Juubi’s turn! The jury thinks that a gigantic chakra monster isn’t an appropriate singer but whatever. Their killjoy attitudes won’t stop people from loving the roars of their very favorite annihilator. Magnificent! Bravo! 7 poäng!

3. RIN

Pheww, what a show! Hearts are racing. A good old ballad will cure our chest pains. Now, let’s hear about that one time when Rin needed to get an assisted suicide. Naturally, everything went horribly wrong and now she’s doomed to watch over her friend from afar, thinking to herself that this wasn’t what she signed up for. Her only joy in life is knowing that once a year, there’s this one day of peace. Even her idiot friends seem to respect that. But it’s a small console given that she’s still kinda dead and now everyone thinks that she’s super against the Infinite Tsukuyomi whilst all she ever wanted to do was to start a revolution along with her best friends. Her story is the greatest tragedy of all times, 8 points.

2. KAKASHI

Looks like the next performer doesn’t believe in glitter. Kakashi is dressed in his standard jōnin outfit. He has 5 of them just in case. Sometimes he can muster enough motivation to do laundry, and that’s a little miracle. Laundry days are the good days. Life’s treated him roughly. Still, this man took over when Tsunade passed out and personally prevented 900 deaths behind the scenes. He doesn’t want any credit for it, he just did what had to be done. The strength of this man is his sense of duty. It’s unbreakable. When the world is falling apart, Kakashi is your last hope. He isn’t kidding around, and if he must attend to this madness, he will do it. One could argue that Kakashi isn’t very wholesome, but something about him pleases everyone. The jury loves him, Konoha council loves him and the opposing side of those state marionettes loves him. After all, he’s becoming Tsunade’s successor but no one has asked their Sharingan back, just saying… Love for Kakashi is universal. 10 points for love’s sake.

1. OBITO

A good song contest is made out of ballads, quirky outfits and meteor showers. With that being said, you can’t have a real show without the walking, talking shitpost. When Tobi takes over, the whole world will gasp. Some think that the kitsch lollipop mask is too much and rightfully so, whilst the others think it’s ingenious. They are right in their own way. Tobi is a good boy and a fashion icon. You know who else is both of those things? Obito! He’s prolly not impressed by the concept of the competition. He doesn’t think that mere individuals should represent the prisons that are their nations. But he’s here. It’s time to put an end to this misery and let the world rest in peace. No more pain, no more suffering. The jury tries to protest. That’s their problem. Obito will create a new world, a better one. Admit it, this plan is THE BEST, and no bans and boycotts can prevent Obito from giving the world a… Good. Fucking. Show. Sure, the plan wasn’t his idea, but he did all the hard work – and therefore he’s the winner. LONG LIVE FREEDOM, 12 POINTS!

#eurovision #esc #eurovision 2019 #esc 2019 #naruto #tsunade #shisui #deidara #kisame #madara #gai #juubi #rin #kakashi #obito #toetally not a shitpost #meta

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