In the last scene in thanks to them, after flapjack sacrifices himself and hunter wakes up, you can. Like. FEEL luz's guilt. As soon as she's sure hunter is alive luz immediately removes herself from the situation. While camilla willow and gus are helping hunter up and checking that he feels okay, luz shuts her eyes and walks away from the group. She refuses to face her friends until they have to go to HER. Even before that, when the gang watched belos go through the portal, everyone else's expressions were of fear. But luz's expression was of resignation and determination.
She cant bear be around hunter. She cant even stand to look at him. Not when she blames herself for what happened to him and flapjack. Hunter would never blame luz for anything, but luz has a habit of taking every event that tangentially relates to her and twisting it to fit her self loathing. If she had helped look for belos better, maybe hunter wouldnt have gotten possessed. If she hadnt teleported to grab belos, maybe flapjack wouldnt have been close enough to get caught. We the audience know luz couldnt have stopped belos, but to her is just another item in her long list of mistakes.
Judging by her expression when hunter comes up to talk to her, luz is HORRIFIED at the new scars that belos gave him. (That she "let" belos give him) And i cant help but wonder how this new guilt is going to eat at her for the next two episodes. On top of the belos thing, the guilt she likely still has about leaving her mom and everything that happened with eda in the s1 finale, and everything with king, now one of her best friends (and family member she said shed protect!) has lost his palisman because of her. Every time luz looks at hunter shell be reminded of how he was hurt because of what she thinks are her mistakes.
Idk if theyll explore this in depth or even mention it because luz already feels really guilty about everything else and thats already going to take the whole finale to unpack. But this is one more thing for luz to tear herself up over and i cant wait to see how that goes
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so in my village the group of friends has always been 3 of us, since we were little. i was the first one to come out, and the yr after that the other two came out basically at the same time. that same yr i found out that they had made out/hooked up, and i saw that our friend group was gonna fall apart bc of it. last yr they ended up dating, and a few months later (cant exactly remember when lmao) they broke up
i now feel like a child w divorced parents
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i do think its immensely funny that like. yukina's whole entire life was about doing everything she could for her brother and her brother only like. the entire reason she bothered trying to save the world was because it was the place mitsuo lived. she only cared abt helping the gods because if they lost their powers the power that sustained his immortality was also gone. and the moment she was finally starting to move past that, when they'd made peace with each other.... she was then executed while he condemned her
and after that she just couldn't care less. nothing mattered. she'd burn down the whole fucking world who gave a shit right. if even her brother thought she was irredeemable, then she was!
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also. dont even talk to me about this. but. the nurse im obsessed with. oh my god. whenever shes on shift i literally go sit out by the nurses station for hours till she leaves bc my brain just feels better when i can see + hear her. this obsession isnt bad, though, is the thing. im used to *bad* obsessions. but it doesnt feel like that. it does feel like a lifeline, which is dangerous bc once i leave i wont be soothed by her being around, obviously. but like.. i dunno. my brain doesnt know how to exist without an obsession, and this one isnt hurting me. in fact it is helpful and a step in the right direction, for reasons i wont get into but yeah ive talked w my therapist about this. anyway. she said today that tomorrow she will sit down w me and help me put together some plans on how to work with my brain to keep my surroundings a little cleaner. god. im going 2 miss her
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Ended up calling CAS (Canadian CPS Americans) and I did not expect to have complicated feelings on such a thing because it's not as if the call wasn't needed years ago if I'm honest, but I typically do not like involving myself in such things especially when so many people make frivolous calls to cops and agencies like this. Seriously, child abuse is the crime that receives the most false accusations and of course I'm not talking out my ass, but I also don't want to disrupt a bunch of kids lives over their mothers bullshit.
On the flip side me messing around with their lives at this point is probably the best option for them and that's not something I say lightly, I told the guy twice I was making that call with a heavy heart but what little I know is deeply disturbing to me. And specified that I believe my oldest niece is the primary victim in part because she's a vocal kid, good for her. But that's done, I can at least know I tried for those kids and did what I could to make myself sound credible and give what info I know even if I made it clear that I don't know probably anything really. But I'm tired of waiting for change from someone who isn't capable of it. Those kids need better, it's not like I didn't wait 13 years for her to do better by those kids. It's not like I said anything untrue to anyone involved either, so complicated feelings or not know I didn't just run around making nasty frivolous phone calls. I'm genuinely concerned my oldest niece will end up dead and that the only thing done about it on shitheads end will be protecting my nieces murderer and if I did nothing about that I'd never be able to live with it.
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