#sewing the wounds
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Journal 6.2.23
I don't know how to fit into this world. It feels like I'm a foreign organ surgically implanted, now being rejected by its body. Other times it feels like I'm a parasite, leeching and feeding and never giving and it tears me up inside.
I don't know where you went. You were so close to me, inside of the walls, but now there's a void and it feels so lonely and I never appreciated you like I should have, I was never able to hold you or save you and I feel like I'll never figure out what happened.
I'm so afraid for myself.
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(content warning: blood)
Sewed Up Heart
[ID: A Trigun comic done in grayscale with red accents. First, an anatomical heart gushes blood, forming a puddle which shifts into Vash's coat. Vash's gloved hands can be seen sewing up a tear at the hem.
Vash raises his hands, which are now bare and covered in blood. He looks sweaty and distressed, and he raises his coat to his face and cries into it. His clenched hands rip the sewed portion apart, and the red thread leads to a heart whose own stitches are tearing apart. The background gets darker and darker, and the red looks brighter and starker against it.
Then the background returns to white, and brown-skinned hands using embroidery scissors snip a red thread. Wolfwood holds up Vash's repaired coat, grinning proudly, and does a happy thumbs-up in Vash's direction. Vash lifts his head, seeming distant.
Wolfwood holds out the coat. As Vash puts out his hand to take it, the cloth is replaced so Wolfwood is dropping a sewed-up heart in Vash's hand. Vash rubs the coat against his face with a teary smile. End ID] ID CREDITS
#trigun#trimax#cw blood#vash the stampede#nicholas d. wolfwood#vashwood#my art#his coat as an external representation of his emotional wounds🤌#a coat riddled with bullet holes tells so many stories#also wolfwood hc of him being good at sewing bc he probably had to patch up many clothes when he was at the orphanage#and now his hands are bloodied but he still has this one thing -this one skill- that helps him make things a little better for once#and it doesnt fix everything but at least he's giving back a bit of the kindness he's being shown#ww actions over words love language *explodes*#i cant stop rotating these thoughts in my head i need to make a comic focused on his pov#image described#thank you for the id!!#raepliica_art
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inconsolable.
au where after the netherbrain fight, durge demands to go back for gortash's body (and uses a scroll of revival bc idc its d&d)
#karlach is more quietly devastated.#shes not really explosive in this comic because its my interpretation of her being like#“wow. i told you my grief and you dont care. did you ever care?”#shadowheart understands but she doesnt exactly agree. moreso just sitting in judgement#like “this is the hill you die on?”#astarion is pissed purely because he spent all this time on someone after being so selfish#and this is how hes repaid.#jfc#durgetash#the dark urge#enver gortash#bg3#baldurs gate 3#theyre so stupidly in love and would rip each other apart and then sew their wounds closed#goddddddd
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It came to me in a dream
#this bough has been broken through#and I must be someone new#but change is what I fear the most#but I am human#so it's inevitable#and time will sew my wounds shut anyways#so what is there to be afraid of?#happy new year of yearning everyone <3#sleep token#st#when the bough breaks#take me back to eden#one#mel's rambles#mel's photos#worshitposting
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christophe owning a giraffe plushie as a child my beloved headcanon
#gregory sewing christophe’s toys and then clothes and then wounds… it’s the Ideal™️ gregstophe arc to me <3#south park#gregstophe#gregory of yardale#christophe delorne#ze mole#sp gregory#sp christophe#sp ze mole#ali art
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but what if Double Life Pearl was bare foot? First to better feel the cold, and cause more damage to Scott, then because her feet were so numb she just... forgot. Cuts and scrapes start to build up- the frost bite starts to set in. By the end her feet are mangled and more scar tissue than skin.
To the others its just one more sign she's going insane- that she's becoming a Witch. As wild and dangerous as her wolves.
(And what if... what if the Mounders made her shoes? At the very beginning, when hers broke or tore or something. What if Bdubs and Mumbo pooled their resources and made her nice boots that are a bit clunky and sad looking, but that she refuses to take off for the rest of the series)
#I was given a Vision#like... all the lifers would be in bad shape by the ends of a season#but double life Pearl?#causing herself damage on purpose#spiraling in her own loneliness#not a single person to help her sew patches in her clothes or tend her wounds?#Do You See#life series#pearlescentmoon#double life#double life pearl
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this might be obvious and just me, but i never really absorbed the extent of levi’s injuries after the thunderspear because that one frame in the anime is straight up traumatizing.
like he looks dead. no light in his colorless eyes, barely opened but seeing nothing. that frame more than ANY other before or after screams how tired levi is the loudest. the space around his eyes is shaded and just. heavy.
plus of course he’s covered in blood. the wounds are superficial but head wounds bleed. a lot.
but there’s a lot of blood around his mouth as well which is part of my belief that the explosion (like explosions tend to do to a person) caused internal bleeding. he also coughs up blood later.
so like Levi is not okay. but this time i looked at the frame and noticed just how much wood shrapnel is in his face. one side is just lambasted with it. it’s just😭😭
POOR LEVI😭😭😭😭😭😭
#face wounds also heal quickly so it makes sense as time goes on he loses more bandages around his mouth i think. added on with#quick ackerman healing#and hange’s superb sewing skills#honestly fuxking insane levi had an extra long nap said his fingers were chill and then got on the plane#anyway#levi ackerman#levi.thoughts#levi aot
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this is how 4th grade me felt after preforming surgery on my math book with my pencil
#i would sharpen my pencil as sharp as it could get and fucking disect my math book#then i would stich it back up with tape (i would pretend i had a sewing needle)#and sometimes i would put construction paper in its “wounds” to stop its “pain” ??#i dont know what i was doing shit was wild
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Journal 4.14.23
I don't really know what's wrong with me. Like, I have guesses, but I can't really relate to anyone at all, or at least, that's what it feels like.
I'm strongly emotional and empathetic, but suppressed and cold. I'm glad to offer help, advice, and comfort, but stumble and feel detached from other's strong emotions. I feel strong guilt from how detached I am, from the world, from people, from happiness. I'm just hollowed out, like there's nothing inside. I desperately want to be able to be "normal". I want the pain to go away.
I fear hurting people with how much I withdraw. I feel like a feral animal. I feel evil. It took me a while to understand just how painful it is for someone to watch me slip away from them. I fear that the few relationships I have will become too much to handle, that I will withdraw, and that I will inevitably hurt them.
I do try to seek out social situations, but only when I can keep people at arms length. The internet makes it easy! I never keep any consistency with my usernames and identities, and can easily slip out of communities when they are no longer fulfilling, and no one chases after me. I can share things about myself that others might see as private, but I'm so detached from those parts of myself in the moment that I don't even care. The most important things are the ones I've hardly told anyone.
I even fear the reactions I might have to my partner. It's manageable in an online relationship, but what happens when things get too close for comfort? Will I hate it? Will I be disappointed in myself? Will I be able to handle everything outside of it: their family, their obligations, their affections? I can't even connect with my own family. The idea that I won't be able to be a fulfilling partner makes me feel guilty, too.
Anxiety and inferiority comes in waves. Anger and sadness can be strong and explosive. I don't care for being around people and I enjoy being alone, but I know it's good for me to keep a small circle around. Sometimes I fear judgement, but it's really just that I feel like I'll be immediately noticed as a "freak", that I will be subjugated, or that I will be condescended to. I lash out unnecessarily because I think that all people will see me this way.
I've joined a whole discord and socialize pretty heavily in it and I'm very happy about it, unlike pretty much any other community I've ever been a part of. I feel like we enjoy what we do for a lot of the same reasons, that we have the same thoughts and ideas about the media. So, I don't feel like a "freak". The fact that it isn't in real life helps considerably, because It feels like I just... cannot function around other people without being drunk or high sometimes. I get detached, distant, aloof.
Who knows.
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I love writing Dandelion because he's a performer. An unreliable narrator of his own life. He exaggerates and lies through his teeth and will dig and dig and dig into the backstory of a friend but clam up the second you ask him anything about his own and find ways to deflect and demure. He's hyperaware of how people view him and just doesn't seem to care. If you think he's a silly bard without a brain that's how he'll act for you and if you only see him as a flirt who makes terrible jokes that's how he'll act for you, he puts on whatever mask he thinks people want most from him which is why it's so compelling that his bestest friend in the whole wide world is Geralt - a Witcher who can effortlessly see through it all and strip him down to his bones if he wants to
Truly the mortifying ordeal of being Known
#the witcher books#meta post#kinda sorta it's close enough#it annoys me a lot how many people assume he must've been the worst spy ever#because if he was truly as bad as all that he wouldn't have survived the war for so long with such a position#you forget that he doesn't *always* travel with geralt#obviously he knows how to look after himself he just turns off some of that self-preservation#when he's with his friends because he's safe enough to do so#and geralt's not exactly the bees knees either for a witcher whose lived for a hundred years#you'd think he'd know better than to use a fish hook and wire to sew a wound shut but nooooooo#it's part of the best friend code that when you're together you become dumb as fuck and do stupid shit
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2024 -> 2021 -> 2016
Evolution of my Hagatha, my first D&D character from back when I was in high school. The campaign she was in was short lived and didn't even really qualify as D&D but I had fun
#character design#art improvement#hagfish#dungeons and dragons#slime girl#nurse#original character#dnd#oc#She ''healed'' people by sewing up their wounds with a sharp pencil as a needle and a ball of yarn as thread#Red cross changed to an X to comply with the Geneva convention & to show she's batshit crazy and by no means a licensed medical practitione
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"you're doing really great" hhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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EUCLID ANALYSIS.
Part one -> Title and meaning
Part two -> Line by line analysis part one
Part three -> You're already here!
Part four -> Musical/instrumental notes
Part five -> The Night in Sleep Token
Part six -> Conclusion
“I play along with the life signs anyways” → ‘Play along’ implies acting or participating in something that may not be entirely genuine, it's almost childish; playing along with life like it's a joke.
Finishing the line with ‘anyways’ adds a sense of nonchalance to it all. It paints the image that Vessel is going through the motions of life, however, he hasn’t fully accepted it all yet. He’s in this middle zone, the twilight zone, of experiencing it all but through a dissociated state.
“But hope to God you don’t know this feeling” → This one can be interpreted as a direct message to us, as the listener. While Vessel has gone through mass amounts of distress in his lifetime, before he was Vessel and as he is now, he has taken the last option he has left; Sleep. He’s both hoping we don’t follow in his steps and hoping to the Dear God we have never experienced what he has been through and never will.
“Yet in reverse, you are all my symmetry” → And here is the first reference to Euclid of Alexandria and his symmetry.
The lyric, as a whole, expresses an intimately complex sentiment about the nature of Vessel’s relationship with Sleep or his partner. Even when viewed in reverse, the person holds a profound sense of balance (through the metaphor of symmetry) for Vessel; they completed each other perfectly despite their large differences, which eventually drove them apart.
I would like to mention this can also be seen as a response to the message Vessel received that stated he had ‘saved’ the writer. Vessel reflected on this in a speech, concluding that whilst the message is true, it is in an inverse sense. We saved Vessel. We are his symmetry even though we are so utterly different from him. It’s a wonderfully profound lyric, whichever way you decide to interpret it.
“A parallel I would lay my life on” → Symmetry again!
Despite it all, Vessel would lay his life in this relationship, this person; that’s how much trust he has. However, the reference to parallels presents the concept of parallel lines, which never meet. This suggests a distance or separation, which emphasises the unique and individual paths each person is on, whether that be because of fate or free will. Then, the statement that Vessel makes, saying he’d lay his life down for this parallel, indicates a deep and soulful commitment (or sacrifice) for the sake of symmetry. He’s saying he has full willingness to trust this person, even if their stars won't align again. Even if their paths won’t converge, he’d still have some sort of trust in them.
It could also be a callback to the main topic in Acensionism.
“So if your wings won't find you Heaven, I will bring it down like an ancient bygone” → The line calls back to TNDNBTG’s "and the night comes down like Heaven". This is Vessel willing himself to bring down Heaven for someone who deserves it, but cannot bring themselves to reach it, as a gift for them. A thank you.
Plus, the comparison to an ‘ancient bygone’ adds a layer of nostalgia or reference to the past, which suggests Vessel is drawing upon ancient or timeless methods to accomplish this; using the past to his advantage, for once in his life, which then links into the later lyric of "for me, it’s still the autumn leaves".
“Call me when you have the time” → A repeat of the previous refrain, but with changed words. It feels less like a cry for help, but more of a light-hearted question. A ‘Hey! I don’t need you right now, but call me when you���re free, yeah? I’ve got something to talk about’.
“I just need to leave this part of me behind” → Vessel has accepted his walls have closed in on him and have fallen down, and he’s realised he needs to move on. Yet again, it presents Euclid as a eulogy; a closing chapter for Vessel and maybe Sleep Token as a band itself.
“Do you remember me, when the rain gathers?” → Vessel’s past is coming back to him again, he’s finally accepting it all but he’s still clinging on, asking his partner, or Sleep, if they still remember it all.
Further, rain often carries symbolic meanings, such as renewal, cleansing, as well as melancholy. The question is more of a ‘Will you remember me now that I’ve changed? Am I still good enough for you?’
“And do you still believe nothing else matters?” → This line is a callback to Bloodsport’s "tangled with what I never said, and you say it doesn’t matter".
It also brings up change again. At the start of the song, Vessel is afraid of change, changing out of the mindset he’s been in for so long, but now he’s asking his partner if they’re still the same as before. If loving them is still a blood sport.
“For me, it’s still the autumn leaves” → Autumn symbolises change and is the in-between of summer and winter. The middle of constant sunlight and constant darkness; it’s twilight. It displays a long-awaited change and finally, the acceptance of it.
“These ancient canopies that we used to lay beneath” → As autumn arrives, the canopies of the trees change yet again. The trees Vessel his partner used to lay beneath become ancient with all the autumns that have passed. Eventually, his partner becomes an ancient bygone to him.
“No, by now, the night belongs to you” → Direct callback to TNDNBTG from Sundowning. The Night, lore-wise, is presented as something holy. It is their duty, as Vessels of Sleep, to constantly stay awake because the night belongs to Sleep; no one else. Vessel is rebuking against Sleep, stating that the night no longer comes down like Heaven, like he once believed, and belongs to someone entirely human now. It belongs to him. It belongs to us.
“This bough has broken through” → Direct callback to WTBB from One. When the bough breaks is an idiom meaning ‘when a situation has reached the point of no return’. In WTBB, this is in reference to how Vessel and his partner ignore how toxic their relationship has gone because neither of them wants to be alone in their suffering. The bough has broken through because Vessel has left this person, and he has changed. He has overcome the fear of being alone and has changed for the better.
“I must be someone new” → This is a direct statement of how Vessel must change if he wants to continue on. He must find a way to become human again while being a Vessel of Sleep. He has to get over his past.
The bridge then repeats the previous two verses, almost as if Vessel is trying to nail in his final point. He hasn’t got anything more to say, so he’s repeating all he’s said.
Finally, the fourth and final verse is a repetition of the second verse of TNDNBTG. The produced album trilogy, the loop, finishes here. As the listener, we are sent right back to where we first began; in a state of suffering and struggling to accept our new form, to accept our humanity. But, if you run it back, listen to albums again, you’ll be right back at Euclid. You’ll be back to facing the fact of change and guess what? Time has passed again. Could be a couple of hours. Could be a couple of days. Could be a month! But time has passed as you have revisited the past on an empty ceiling and you, as the listener, are faced with change again.
Euclid, in the end, lyrically, becomes the question of have you accepted it yet? Will you allow time to sew your wounds shut, or do you need to go back one more time? Go back to where your atoms stopped fusing, to where it was blue light over murder, or, do you want to face the inevitable?
#'no by now the night belongs to you' well just kill me now why don't you#'this bough is broken through' was the final nail in the coffin when I first heard this song#both for it being my favourite in tmbte and for crying because I wasn't expected to be hit with my comfort song from EIGHT YEARS AGO#Vessel#when I catch you vessel#this bough is broken through#and I must be someone new#but change is what I fear most#but I am human#so it is inevitable#and time will sew my wounds shut anyways#so what is there to be afraid of?#sleep token#st#mel's rambles#vessel sleep token#sleep token analysis#euclid#euclid sleep token#tmbte#sleep token tmbte
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the scariest thing about the last of us is the medical malpractice every episode i am yelling at the screen telling the characters to stop doing something oh my god
#first joel pulling out his stab wound#then NONE OF THEM WASHING THE WOUND#then ellie using an UNSANITISED NEEDLE to sew up his wound#now putting the penicillin syringe into his Fucking Abdomen#this show is killing me#the last of us#tlou#joel miller#ellie williams
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How many times did Daxter have to patch his buddy up over the years?
#shiaxart#Jak and Daxter#febuwhump day 20#sewing skin#gash#open wound#green eco can't heal everything#especially not in a place like Haven where green eco is so scarce
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Be careful with your cheek scar, who knows if an undead puritan will try to use your wound to possess you
Ah but I have a secret weapon. I simply don't hurt my fingers when I use my sewing machine
#I got a handheld sewing machine a few months ago and I haven't gotten any wounds from it yet#[.asks]#anonymous
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