no but FOR REAL name your price......i could offer a place to sleep in a scenic location......baking skills......draw or write you smth in return......gift you coffee......all in the name of james bond AU......

A formal standing invitation to Sammyland? :nalascrem:

Since I've not written anything substantial for nearly a calendar year now, please accept this short, humble offering. Warning for Bond-typical violence.

※

wait on thunder sky [600 words, Bono/Lewis, Bond AU]

※

Time trickles thick as tar.

Flitting a glance at the crumpled, twisted bodies around him, a hint of remorse slips into Lewis’s conscience. He can’t allow it. Not now. Not when every breath he takes feels like a sledgehammer to the chest. Not when his shattered shin has left him bound to the polished marble floor of one of Casino Royale’s lavish restrooms, pearlescent white now marred crimson with blood.

Lewis hears urgent footfalls approaching. The Walther PPK, familiar as an extension of himself, feels heavy in his hands. He’s down to his last three rounds. When the door swings open, Lewis aims, and fires.

One down, headshot. Two down, jugular exploding in a violent burst of scarlet. Lewis misses the third attacker, grazing his forearm and knocking the firearm out of his hand, but it doesn’t stop him from lunging at Lewis viciously, sending them both tumbling on the floor, wrestling for purchase.

It was a precarious, lethal tug of war. For a moment, Lewis manages to pin the attacker down, deals him several blows to the face, feeling cheekbone and orbital crush under the force of his knuckles. He’s in better shape than Lewis, however—ribs not cracked, tibia intact. Lewis can feel his own strength fading.

The attacker wrestles himself away from Lewis, flips them around, goes straight for Lewis’s throat. At the precipice of survival, when the probability of making it out alive plummets with every microsecond of even the slightest hesitation, adrenaline will suffuse every cell, whipping your blood to run with screams of get up, get up, fight, deafening against your eardrum, dulling your pain to static. But years and years of experience and training carved into him as a Double-O agent aside, Lewis is only human.

The sound of a gunshot ruptures the air. Oxygen floods back into Lewis’s lungs as the attacker rolls to the side off Lewis, roaring in agony. Another gunshot, silencing his screams forever.

“Double-O Seven,” Q calls, falling to kneel beside Lewis, the fear and concern lacing his voice betraying his otherwise even tone. With utmost care, he helps Lewis sit up. “Lewis, are you all right?”

“Still in one piece, Bono,” Lewis wheezes out with a weak grin, wincing. “Haven’t got rid of me just yet.”

They hold each other’s gaze a heartbeat too long. Time trickles thick as tar, still.

Lewis has spent more than half of his years taking risks in too many shapes and forms to keep a tally of. He’d argue that the majority of them are meticulously calculated. Yet in his three-decades-plus-a-few-years, his surging forward to kiss Bono, to close the gap between them—a gap that feels both suffocatingly minuscule and desperately astronomical sometimes—feels like one of the most hazardous of chances he’ll ever take. Maybe it’s a moment of madness, too. Adrenaline truly is a hell of a drug.

It’s a soft, searching press of lips, a stark contrast to this moment of near-finality. A sigh of relief. A thank you. Lewis can feel the shape of Bono’s smile against his lips.

“Time and place, Double-O,” Bono chides as he draws back, no heat.

“Almost didn’t make it if it weren’t for you, man.” You put yourself in danger, too, Lewis thinks, pulling Bono into his arms, pressing his face into the crook of Bono’s neck. Lewis has long reconciled with the volatility of his own life as a Double-O, it’s part of what it means to hold the license to kill. Bono shouldn’t be here. He shouldn’t ever be anywhere close to harm’s way. “Now’s as good a time as any.”

Rewefic? 👀

:heh: :heh: :heh:

it's not actually much of anything yet but something me and Fir have been talking about for months... originally it was conceptualized as a different ship but I realized months ago that I'd much rather have it be McDrai and then today I down a whole spiral about it idk why

what if they were both 20ish and year-long interns at this company with irregular hours and both new in town and don't know anyone else or anything so it's just the two of them and the four other interns becoming weirdly intense and close and it's a whole thing but also there's a time limit but also it doesn't feel like it maybe they're being grownups for the first time and life is so strange

important points: it's called rewefic because they all go to Rewe during lunch breaks and try their way through the frozen meals selection. marveling at the Tchibo display. Leon insists on Connor speaking German with him cause that's why he's there on a year long study abroad internship thing! (this is where it gets difficult - this fic should be fully bilingual.) mandatory "Freund oder Freund" mixup. late night going home from a club getting Döner and sitting down on some steps and eating and just talking for a couple more hours even though they're both so tired but don't want to stop spending time together

one day I'll write it. hopefully soon.................

for a prompt: Lewis & lightsaber:)

ur actually evil for this one by which I mean this was my favorite prompt

-

"This weapon is your life," Lewis impresses, handing George's 'saber back to him.

George scowls. "That's exactly what my Master always used to say to me." Lewis has to laugh—all these months spent learning how to work together as equals, both Generals of Mercedes' new fleet, and now he's imitating George's Master without even trying.

"Maybe your Master had a point, Knight Russell," Lewis teases, and bites his lip so he doesn't laugh again when George flushes bright red. After all, such flagrant displays of emotion are discouraged for a Jedi Master such as himself.

gotta ask about the “it's feminism” one it has me 👀 intrigued

ah yes breakdownfic. good times

as the title says its me projecting my own issues onto f1 drivers so dont read too much into it

His phone buzzes on the desk. It’s Jon, asking him if he’s heated up his food yet. And you’d think that would be enough to make Lando move from his gaming set up, but of course it’s not. He also has an alarm of his own (with a different sound from his wake-up ones, because frankly hearing his wake-up alarm during the day spikes his heart rate up every time and he doesn’t want to deal with it), and he’s hit Snooze on that more times than he can count. He’s starting up a new game of COD and it’s like he’s looking at the computer screen, but his brain is also looking at him through a screen of its own, and yelling at himself to get up, get up from his chair, get up, and get his food goddamn it, his stomach is growling and he’s hungry and he’s supposed to be following Jon’s schedule. His phone buzzes again — “Lando if you’re not answering I’m going to assume you haven’t. Do I really need to call you and explain your own floorplan to you so you can make your way to the kitchen” — and he doesn’t pick it up to text anything back. With one hand he taps his fifteenth Snooze, and with the other he clicks on New Game.

scuderiafiatpanda > zweizimtsterne

no real reason, just felt like i needed a change. it's still me (sammy), hiii <3

Thanks @89-percent-alien for tagging me, this was really fun!!!

I tag @ukulelegodparent @official-rolli-und-rita @karometeenk @incertum-quo-fata-ferunt @bouquet-of-violets @jofngve @diersten @scuderiafiatpanda and @jughheadparadox

Blank template under the cut :)

10 fandoms and 10 characters, tagged by @finalgoob !!! & as per prev & prev prev rules, fandoms = fictional media i have read fic for & characters = characters I would read/write character study for them alone

Star Wars - Obi-Wan Kenobi

Star Trek - Bones/Leonard McCoy

The Mortal Instruments/Shadowhunters - Alec Lightwood

Tron - Tron

Marvel (MCU) - Steve Rogers

Teen Wolf skdfmgskjdfngsdkj - Scott McCall

Arcane - Jinx

Lord of the Rings - Frodo :’)

Check, Please! - Bitty/Eric Bittle

ATLA - Sokka

no pressure tags: @hinenihineni​ @scuderiafiatpanda @faghowardhamlin @townhulls :)

Relationship status: begirlfriended 😌

Favourite colour: yellow

Favourite food: cauliflower fully unironically. Also soup

Last thing I googled: [redacted city] parking ticket

Time: 5:03 am :hell:

Dream trip: (first of all yes baby! Lake Alexandrina in the summer time!!) My dream trip is already happening in April and thennnnn um nz road trip in a campervan and also I want to go back to Spain

I’ll tag @relationboats (soup roadie?), @scuderiafiatpanda and @flatspot even though scottie already got to u first dhdhdg and @sebthebees

I was tagged by @scuderiafiatpanda​​ to show my On Repeat playlist :catblush: <3 I’m showing exactly the top ten songs because those are just perfect tbh (list with links below the pic)

for a long, long time by The Garages

No Children by The Mountain Goats

The Killer For The Pies from Blaseball: The Musical

I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do by ABBA

The Ballad of Unremarkable Derrick Krueger by The Garages

The Chain (2004 Remaster) by Fleetwood Mac

We Can Save The World from Blaseball: The Musical

Eleanor Rigby (2015 Remaster) by The Beatles

SC__TER_D by The Garages

Landslide by Fleetwood Mac

tagging  @whitewolfcraft​ @elkehaien​  @charlesxcx​  @saintdevote​ and @komkommertijd​ if you want to do it :)

i was tagged by @scuderiafiatpanda to list ten fandoms and ten characters (you can sense a theme in these :"))

Die drei ??? – Bob Andrews

Derry Girls – Clare Devlin

Die wilden Hühner – Sprotte Slättberg

Our Flag Means Death – Oluwande

Stranger Things - Robin Buckley

Anne with an E – Marilla Cuthbert

Les Mis - Combeferre

Heartstopper - Nick Nelson

Das fliegende Klassenzimmer - Matz Selbmann

[redacted] - Remus Lupin

tagging @chucklepea-hotpot @all-chickens-are-trans @mondfahrt @rivetingrogue @loewenzahnstrasse if y'all feel like doing this <3

scuderiafiatpanda / <3

@scuderiafiatpanda someone here has a crush on u 🤸🏻‍♀️🤸🏻‍♀️🤸🏻‍♀️🤸🏻‍♀️🤸🏻‍♀️🤸🏻‍♀️🤸🏻‍♀️🤸🏻‍♀️🤸🏻‍♀️🤸🏻‍♀️🤸🏻‍♀️

tell me on anon which tumblr user u have a crush on

Rules: tag nine people you want to get to know better

I got tagged by @scenetocause Thank you!

Last song: Stayin’ Alive by Avu-Chan (Queen Bee) Look I watched Bullet Train last week and it’s the best film ever made. Also this is a great cover of Stayin’ Alive. Also they played this in the trailer which is the whole reason why I wanted to watch it in the first place. Great song, great trailer, great film.

Last show: Uh Chopped and Chopped Sweets? I don’t really do shows. Last ‘proper’ TV show was probably Heartstopper (watch Heartstopper!). Other than that I just watch cooking competitions, my one weakness.

Currently watching: Chopped Sweets. Only got two episodes left that are available on Discovery+ so gotta find a new cooking show =(

Currently reading: Network Effect by Martha Wells (#5 of the Murderbot Diaries, read the Murderbot Diaries!) and The Switch by Beth O’Leary.

Current obsession: Sports, the answer is always sports. More specifically whatever is going on between Max, Lando and Luisa. Very intriguing.

Tagging: @josefnewgayden @scuderiafiatpanda @ultrasofts @powerangersemo (I don’t know if you’ve done this already, if you have, feel free to ignore!)

👀 talk to me about disney honda motorsport pleeeeaseeee

so glad you're asking, not that I can shut up about this recently skdjfkd thank you <3

it's hockey fic, but an F1 AU. what if I put these hockey guys from one of the funniest named teams in race cars and make them drive in circles? what if they were F2 rivals the previous season and don't really know (let alone like) each other? what if their team sucks ass and they have to deal with one disappointment after the other? what if we have a Williams Hungary 2021-esque miracle? what if they're also falling in love...

this started bc I was talking to j @denialricciardo about their hockey verse and then somehow very quickly became my baby... it was supposed to be a 4k fic and now I'm over 15k in and it's not done sdkfjdkf it's the longest thing I've ever written (NaNo 2017 excluded) and I'm obsessed with it. turns out I like writing about racing and tracing the highs and lows of a season

THE JONAS KAHNWALD TAG FHDJFKSJF i mean you're not wrong

About to be caught up in spacetime fuckery...

HELPHGLJFLF i didn't even notice lando's tan but now i can't unsee it......golfer (derogatory)

golfer sooooo derogatory. the way hes anxious enough abt potential farmers tans that he wears his tshirts w the sleeves rolled up like an idiot.... but was still willing to get the stupidest wrist tan line in the world from golfing

🌸 for kira of mcl36 fame who writes ao3 comments that won't stop rattling inside your mind for months and has a huge and sexy brain and also the best cat on this planet and honestly deserves nothing less

yes yes yes yes YES agreed to all. the things kira says to me that just keep rattling.... jail (fond). best cat on this planet :') gigel my BELOVED

@mcl36