Clef, crashing into Kondraki's window: ‘M’ is just an upside down ‘W’ and ‘W’ starts with a ‘D’. Oh, also, ‘Y’ is just ‘V’ atop of a pole, and-

Kondraki, coming out of the shower with only a towel on: Get the, HELL out.

Clef's snarky ass: No.

SCP-999 "The Tickle Monster" was written by ProfSnider. Florence was played by @kitsiinabox from @abbeyarchives

Who doesn't love a sentient pile of goo

-Archivist Bertran

I just adore the little guy. It's always trying to make people so happy!

-Researcher Florence

So, About the Jack Bright controversy...

The Bright drama got so stupid.

Did Rick and Morty get canceled when Justin was revealed with a domestic felony or people demanded it's cancellation? Did Lovecraft's mythos get erased because the original creator was a disturbed xenophobia? Did JK Rowling being a transphobic stopped people from enjoying Hogwart Legacy? Were Charlie Chaplin movies had the character replaced by some dude because the real life Charlie Chaplin was a womanizer pig? Did the fact that some cartoons like Danny Phantom and Dilbert were made by racists or pedos so as plently anime brands like Kenshin stopped people from looking at them fondly? No, like it or not plenty of works were made by assholes and art shouldn't be subjected to the furnace just because the maker of it happened to be jackass, otherwise what's even the point of art?

By that logic then half of every work of fiction or art ever made should be erased, anything else that's just plain hypocrisy nothing more, besides by the stupid change name all you will do is reminding people and adding more fuel to the fire. You aren't letting the wound heal itself, you are only gaping it.

By the way, Name or not It's literally still just Bright but they're slapping a new name tag on him and calling it a day. That's what makes it stupid, on top of the other reasons I mentioned. Katkus, the guy who's changing Bright's name in all the stories he's written, literally just said and I quote; "In his place, I offer you Dr. Elias Shaw, a wild Foundation doctor cursed to wear SCP-963. Any similarities to other characters, living or dead, is purely coincidental."

There's no effort in that change. It's not even a different character, it's literally just freaking Jack Bright swapping a name tag with someone. IF there was some kind of rewrite of Bright's character then maybe, MAYBE I could understand and respect the decision. But they changed nothing. They just hit CTRL+F and swapped out Bright with Shaw. Everyone knows who Bright is, everyone who reads the name "Elias Shaw" is going to say "Oh so this is Bright". It literally accomplishes nothing. If you wanted to "erase" Bright from future Foundation lore, make a new character to take his place.

And like it or not, plently tales about Jack Bright were NOT made by the adminmotherfucker and the character is an intergal part of the SCP mythos, you want to rename or erase the character from your stories? Then do it! Your stories your rule! but remember, everyone have every right to use the character so don't even think about dragging others to your level and go "oh! You mysgonist toxic pervet! You don't care about anyone!" Like a fucking Velma karen from twitter otherwise you are no better than the motherfucker you claim to hate!

I. HAVE. SPOKEN!

Edit:by the way, almost all Bright's lore was made by hundreds of authors, the admin jackass piece of shit just happened to role invented his name so no one can claim ownership on Jack.

Had this crazy cotbg dream last night. So basically it was an scp article. This article was long as HELL. I was reading it. It was physical, for some reason. The actual scp within the article was a book that could alter reality (bungou stray dogs reference probably). This book was important to the mekhanites because it was an artifact of MEKHANE. The book also had the anomalous property of being completely unreadable. It had crazy memetic or info hazards or whatever protecting it from being read. It would break the 4th wall in the article, like in one section where a character’s dialogue talking about what was written in the book was replaced with “nice try but you’re not reading it that easily” or another place where the article tried talking conceptually about the book and it went “haha you tried” The mekhanites really wanted to read this book for its reality altering powers. Hedwig Bumaro and Trunnion were all trying to get to it and read it, with various different creative ways. Trunnion was very prominent, but this was a dream, so I remember nothing about what she did except that she got the other half of her face ripped off at some point from something so she was just. Skull for the last bit. Hedwig tried infecting maxwellists with a telepathic virus thing in order to have them read it to each other in pictures. Don’t think it was too successful. I don’t remember what bumaro did exactly. His method involved sawing off the point of a five pointed star and wearing it as a modified crown. Most of the time he was acting really really stressed and yelling. Direct quote from the article i remmeber “‘I am NOT SCREAMING AT YOU [ezekiel]!!!!!!’ Bumaro screamed.” His subordinates realized he wasn’t the original Umberto because of this and thought he was absolutely insane. Bumaro came the closest to reading the book. And that’s all I remember.

SCP 1128 (SCP) "SCP-1128 is a massive aquatic creature that hunts down any subject given a full description of the being's appearance through either spoken or written descriptions or visual. While we don't know exactly what it is, we do know that it is large enough to eat whales. Persons infected by 1128 will, without being administered amnestics, grow steadily more terrified of water as time goes on. Should a subject ever be fully immersed in water, they will disappear completely under the surface, regardless of the water's actual depth. Apparently, there was an incident where it dragged a D-class personnel member into a glass of water. In most cases, they will reappear moments later in a panicked state, frantically trying to leave the water. Other cases will have the water will become polluted with blood and debris confirmed to be the remains of the subject. Subjects that have reappeared intact claim that they were transported to a vast ocean where they were pursued by 1128. Interviews with these individuals carries risk of further contamination, as descriptions of the being's appearance trigger further infections."

Moby Dick (Moby Dick) "Okay, look--let's get this out of the way. I know that the whale is big. That is not an insignificant thing about whales in general and this whale in particular. It's not even an insignificant factor in nominating him today. Except, it's not the size that matters--it's what Herman Melville does with it*.

*(Sorry, the dick joke was obligatory. It should be the only one unless my love of bad puns runs away from me.)

There's a post floating out there on tumblr calling Moby Dick the OG eldritch terror. Unfortunately, we all know how the hellsite's search "function" is (exasperated but affectionate), so I'm not going to be able to link it. What I can do is pull out a few rusty tools of literary analysis to show that at his Vast heart, Moby Dick represents the terrifying insignificance of humanity in the face of the grandness and terror of the sea.

First, it's crucial to point out that the book opens with quotes about whales, including several Bible verses, some Pliny, something purported to be copied down by a ninth-century king, Shakespeare, and so on. Right out of the gate, the book connects the Whale with the idea of the mythological Leviathan. By quoting Genesis in particular, Melville creates the idea of the Whale as a beast that has existed alongside humanity since its inception. Just as the fears are ancient and have tormented humanity since prehistory, the Whale/Leviathan has represented a "dragon of the sea" that mankind cannot conquer.

Sailors who make their living killing the whales are aware that " all the other things, whether beast or vessel, that enter into the dreadful gulf of this monster’s (whale’s) mouth, are immediately lost and swallowed up" and that "[t]he great Leviathan […] maketh the seas to seethe like boiling pan." They can't escape, though, because as the extracts also make clear, the booming economy of the nineteenth century depends on whale oil for everything from healing bruises to heating rooms in the dead of winter. The sailors are therefore helpless in the face of the dangers that the Whale's sheer size escapes, but also the vast and impersonal economic machinery that reduces them to commodities to be sacrificed to the Whale's wrath, Ahab's vengeance, and the Industrial Revolution's greed. Simon Fairchild probably had a field day with this one.

I realize I'm nearly 400 words in, so in the interest of sparing people's eyes, I'll wrap up by pointing out: --There is a whole chapter devoted to the crew standing knee-deep in whale fat while they dissect a smaller whale. --There is another chapter where Ishmael rhapsodizes about the size of a whale's skeleton. --Then he goes on for another chapter about whale fossils. --And then chapter 3 in this trilogy (which began in chapter 103, btw), asks outright in the title. "Does the whale's magnitude diminish?" --Ishmael sees the sea, and by extension, the Whale, as an irresistible, almost compelling force that terrifies and awes him. This is similar to noted Vast victim Robert Kelly, who also feels a draw to the Vast. --The book closes with Ishmael as the only survivor of the Pequod, having barely escaped the whale's vortex that pulled the ship and all her crew into the depths of the ocean, floating alone on his subtextual lover's coffin for a day and night before finally being picked up by another ship."

A Comment on the SCP-ML Crossover

Post Being Mentioned

This was originally an ask, but it got so long I figured it would be best to make it a submission instead.

Okay, I just felt like I had to correct this, but the jade ring mentioned, which I presume to be SCP-714 ‘The Jaded Ring’, does not make you 'go wild’.

Really, it does the exact opposite. To list the actual effects, taken directly from the SCP article itself:

1) Exhaustion, Compulsion to Rest/Sleep

2) Slowed Reactions, Sluggish Movement

3) Reduced Mental Capacity

4) Mental 'Shield’

5) Chemical Tolerance

These would probably not be associated with 'going wild’.

But I suppose I can understand the confusion, since there’s quite a lot of SCPs written up, over 7000 as of this time of writing, and only going up as time goes on.

There’s also the possibility that jade ring mentioned is actually a completely different SCP that just so happens to also be a jade ring which has the effects as described.

And while I’m at it, I might as well address the assignment of SCP-001 and SCP-002 to Plagg and Tikki specifically.

Firstly, SCP-001 doesn’t exactly have a singular established article, rather it has multiple variations, written by different people, ranging from the Sun turning every lifeform on Earth into horrific melted flesh monsters (S. D. Locke’s Proposal - “When Day Breaks”) to an explanation of why all of the Foundation’s fronts all have the initials of SCP, yet no one ever points it out (Pickman-Blank Proposal - “The Frontispiece”) to the very first, yet relatively minor, anomaly contained by the Foundation (Dr Gears’ Proposal - “The Prototype”). I don’t really know if the position of SCP-001 really fits Plagg, but… I guess one could make it work.

Moving on to SCP-002 “The Living Room”, which is an anomaly that from the outside, look likes a fleshy tumor with an iron hatch attached. And inside?

A 'standard low-rent apartment of modest size.’ as quoted directly from the SCP in question.

The furniture is however, made of human materials. Including flesh, blood, bone, etcetera.

One could argue that turning people into furniture is technically a form of creation, but that probably doesn’t justify the casualties.

-

tbh SCP is. A Lot™

So I think rolling with the idea of something SCP-esque but not directly where the Miracuclass are scientists studying these weird eldritch beings would be interesting.

I've often been quite a fan of Star Trek's fandom wiki, "Memory Alpha". At first glance, its a very well-kept wiki, where people are quick to add new information, and the occasional attempt to spam the wiki with false or inflammatory information is quickly struck down.

However, when you take a closer look, its a rather nasty and pompous place.

For starters, character pages used to list a character's gender in the main info box at the top of pages. However, when Star Trek: Discovery introduced the franchise's first properly non-binary character, Adira, a few wiki contributors threw a temper-tantrum and now character pages do not list gender in the info box, and instead its mentioned in the main body of text if its considered "necessary".

Then there's the problem of the Wiki's framing device. Yes, a wiki, a site for which the main purpose is to be a resource of information decided it needed a framing device. The idea is that "MA is written from a POV from the distant future." Why is this a problem? Well, recently, a contributor opened a discussion article, (for those who don't know, this is a special page for the benefit of contributors to discuss potential changes to the way the wiki is run), talking about the way pictures on character pages are organised.

Currently, Memory Alpha will include two images on the top info-box of prominent recurring characters. The latest-chronological image at the top, and the earliest-chronological image at the bottom. The user on this discussion page posited that since the current "Star Trek: Strange New Worlds" is a prequel show that is taking time to flesh out characters who had very little screen time in the original series, that certain characters, such as George-Samuel Kirk or Robert April should have images swapped around so that the "primary" or most prominent depiction of the character is at the top. They used the examples specifically because, GS Kirk's only appearance in the originals was as a dead body, and Robert April's only appearance was a single episode of the Animated Series, and he's a different ethnicity, they claimed that "Adrien Holmes is meant to be the definitive portrayal of April".

This was met with nothing but backlash, the first quote I put in this post about "MA is written from a POV from the distant future" was used to justify why the later chronological appearances are listed at the top. But frankly, that doesn't hold water with Sam Kirk, because why would a future archive of historical information use a picture of someone's rotting corpse to depict who they were? And more importantly, this is where the whole thing of Memory Alpha having a framing device becomes a problem. Its all very quaint that the wiki has its lore, but at the end of the day, Memory Alpha isn't the SCP Foundation, its not archiving its own special set of original worldbuilding or anything, its a wiki for a bunch of TV shows and movies! Its primary purpose is to be a resource so fans can find out information. As the OP of the Discussion Page pointed out, anyone coming in to Star Trek through SNW who comes to look at Sam's MA page will see a dead body, kind of a spoiler if they're not already familiar with TOS.

Now yes, wiki pages will always have spoilers on them, that's kind of the point, but given his TOS appearance is just Shatner in a fake moustache, playing a corpse, there's really no need to classify that as the "most recent" iteration of the character.

Then of course, there's the Robert April thing. Of course someone chimed in to whine that changing April's ethnicity is "motivated by a dislike of character's original race. For fans who respect continuity, Adrien Holmes will never be the definitive Robert April. I've got nothing against him but I wish he played a new character." which is eye rolling. Someone did point out that live-action shouldn't trump animation. I can agree with that. There are certain circles who would tout that live action film or TV is inherently better than any other media, be it animation, comics, books, games etc, which it really shouldn't be held as, all forms of artistic expression should be held with the same respect, but, its nothing but red flags to whine that SNW hates white people because they cast a black actor as a formerly white character who only appeared in one episode animated on a budget of debt. And considering most of SNW's cast is white or white-passing, its hardly "a dislike of the original race". And guess how many people called out this user for whining about Adrien Holmes? None at all!!! Over the years, I've seen more Star Trek fans boasting that they never bothered watching TAS than I've seen say anything nice about TAS, so pretending to care that Commodore April is now a person of colour comes across incredibly disingenuous. (Not to mention the writer of the original Animated Series episode in which April has appeared has gone on record praising the casting of Holmes as live-action April, so really what does it matter if some 1970s micro-budget animation cells are contradicted)

Even with that aside, people were still arguing that the one-off animated appearance of April should still be at the top of his wiki page because "We're a future historical archive"

The point and TL;DR is a fan wiki should be a resource for real life fans in the real world first and foremost and have any framing devices second. Memory Alpha and the majority of its contributors don't seem to understand this. Maintaining some stupid illusion of being an in-universe archive seems to be more important to a lot of those people. And, between stuff like the gender tag mentioned at the top of the post, and the attitudes towards things like ethnic diversity, I don't really feel comfortable continuing to even use the wiki, much less contribute to it, as I have done on occasion. The admin at that wiki could really do to crack down on the gender-critical and racist-dogwhilstle-y users and have a serious think about whether they want to be running an actual wiki or an ARG disguised as a wiki, because the framing device BS is unnecessary as it is quaint.

An excerpt from Scp - [REDACTED], codename Chameleon, and Former Agent Windsors containment chamber, 20 minutes after a fire-related test leading to minor injuries.

Chameleon, sounds of of gauze being wrapped is heard alongside speech: “Jeez.. this guys don’t pull any punches, huh? Coulda warned me..”

Windsor: “yeah I wish I could ask them to stop, they would have listened to me if I wasn’t locked here..”

Chameleon goes silent for 2 minutes before responding.

Chameleon: “sorry about that, Windsor”

Windsor: “Wait what? You didn’t do anything! It was the foundation that thought I was-“ Windsor uses air quotes to punctuate. “-Corrupted, or whatever junk, I don’t blame you for not wanting, yknow to be burnt to a crisp for the sake of science”

Chameleon and Windsor both go silent, Chameleon finishes recovering and curls up against a wall, cameras report its shoulders shaking, although that could be chalked up to poor quality filming.

After about 3 and a half minutes, Chameleon suddenly stands up, rushing to the glass wall and attempting to punch it, fortunately the glass held up, only injuring Chameleon as small shards broken off appeared to have punctured its hand.

Windsor: “Assistant! What was that about!? Are you ok?”

Chameleon stays silent, nearby personnel report seeing tears in its eyes and fists shaking, this will be written down as a manipulative tactic to try and guilt Junior researchers into allowing Chameleon to escape, further punishments will be discussed with the O-5 council.

End of report

( @sagehyperfixates @dr-catherine-sherman-owens @vaporeon2010317 @sirlordevil @deadless-corpse )

Some Foundationverse ideas

For those who don't know, the Foundationverse is a collaborative fictional multiverse based around the concept of a shady organization who, to put it simply, seeks world domination by containing anything they deem anomalous (sometimes arbitrarily, but usually not). The main foundation (pun intended) is the thousands of articles describing things they catalogue if not contain in a clinical fashion, and the most confusing part is that those articles were in-universe written in at least a few different parts of the multiverse, with some of those being more obvious than others. Therefore, some main-list ones have the same amount of all-around canon as the joke articles, especially most of the 001 set, a special set of mostly contradictory supposed origin stories.

The most popular aspects are some very specific articles, so much so that creativity surrounding that tends to not focus even remotely on the Foundationverse as a whole. As one who loves worldbuilding, I prefer to focus on that, especially the anthropological aspect.

Here are some ideas for concepts I intend to write stuff about:

GoI: Groups of interest (to the SCP Foundation, anyway)

The Homsar Reservation: The “The” is part of their name. This surreal humorist anartist (anart, as in anomalous art, artist) group frequently makes Homestar Runner and Battle For Dream Island references, although more as in organization than in their work. They have some hats that allow one to speak Homsarese, the language in Homestar Runner the very odd character Homsar speaks most of the time, which consists of what sounds like funny English word salad. They also frequently use some linguistic humor from Homestar Runner, such as unnecessary inclusions of ‘the’ before certain words and phrases, using ‘total’ and ‘style’ in strange ways, and using some made-up words from the setting. They also have bembers, bembs, and membs (an extrapolation of a BFB reference) in addition to members. Also, many articles would have a title based on a Homsar quote, which usually begins with “Uh-uh-uh-uh...”.

Brotherhood of the Fallen Knights: A Church of the Broken God (basically anachronistically advanced remnants of the Mycenaeans in-universe) sect from Medieval Europe with an Arthurian theme and, unlike most CotBG (Mekhanite) sects, has an interest in using cybernetics for the sake of resurrection. For reasons described below, they have a reluctant alliance with the Esoteric Order of the White Worm, and also several other groups Neo-Sarkic (see below) groups oppose, including but not limited to the Foundation. They also think the Horizon Initiative (an in-universe Abrahamic knockoff of the Foundation) is a front for Neo-Sarkic and Church of the Scarlet King (what Hollywood calls “satanists”, also what “Christian fundamentalism” is a front for in-universe) activity for religion-related reasons.

Order of the Dragon: The real life knightly order Vlad the Impaler was a member of, here a Neo-Sarkic (basically an extremely fucked-up body horror version of Christianity) order of Romanian fascist knights who, like any Sarkic croup, are diametrically opposed to Mekhanites, and in the Order’s case, that especially goes for the BotFN. The Order also really want to wipe out the Esoteric Order of the White Worm, a Hungarian-based GoI mixing elements of Proto-Sarkicism (what Neo-Sarkicism is a blasphemous heresy/inversion of, still body horror related but closer to Gnosticism) and Hungarian polytheism mentioned in a few articles. After Vlad got killed, actually by Foundation and Horizon Initiative members (see below), the OotD have been mostly inactive due to their self-imposed dependence on Vlad.

Forbidden: The real life Hashishim, here anomaly-using and still around. This cult of mercenaries and hitmen is largely shrouded in mystery, but they currently operate a bit like a mafia and have been involved with the Chicago Spirit (a group of anomaly-using gangsters) and Valravn (an anomalous mercenary group).

Thorncutters: A terrorist GoI that has literally waged war against certain Latinic letters (see below) and want to eliminate all evidence that said letters were ever used. They consider those who speak Icelandic to be their worst enemy to the point of wanting to round them all up in death camps. They also want to force c-with-cedilla to be fully replaced with c-with-comma, and the same for all cedillas, and hate the use of extra bars as a feature of some letters.

Eðheads: A group of scathing satirists and counter-terrorists consisting of those immune to the anomaly indirectly responsible for the Thorncutters, their greatest enemy. They also want to partially reinstate yogh (see below), among other orthographic changes in many languages, but they don’t do it through violence. They broke off from Gamers Against Weed (a group of anomaly-using internet trolls) because, in their own words, GAW can't take anything seriously, and also, GAW also can’t take the Eðheads sriously, and neither can a lot of GoIs. (The eðheads are on the eth side of which letter got replaced with “th” in English, a call-back to another SCP involving the namesake of the Thorncutters supposedly not having ever been in English, and it’s comparable to the thing down in Samothrace, another SCP)

Characters: These may be related to the above but don't have to even be involved with any GoI

Literally Me��- Object Class: Literally Neutralized (formerly Literally Apollyon) - Literally a dumb teenage girl who literally thought “literally” literally meant “figuratively”, and also literally a type green. Any time she literally misused “literally”, that literally became reality. She was literally going to end the world, but she literally killed herself with the text “OMG, like, I literally just died laughing, lol”, which literally retroactively caused her to die laughing literally just seconds before. The excess uses of “literally” in the article are literally a residual anomaly that literally makes the article itself the new SCP of the same designation.

Nice - Object Class: Keter - An ultimately uncontainable narrative entity that inserts critical and/or humorous footnotes in whatever document it inhabits and said footnotes cannot be deleted while it’s in said document. It’s heavily critical of the Foundation and was made specifically to mess with them by Gamers Against Weed (a group of anomaly-using internet trolls and satirists), but even GAW finds it annoying due to its scathing yet genuine critique of anyone and anything it comes across. The title itself is based on the ‘LOL, 69’ trope, which it frequently utilizes. (The SCP number would be XX69)

Ankou - Object Class: Archon - A series of robots that greatly resemble human skeletons, and they were created by the Brotherhood of the Fallen Knights to guard various anomalous artifacts at cemeteries, mostly in Brittany. They do a better job at containment for several anomalies than the Foundation and some have even begun to see the Foundation as allies. They also wield high-tech scythes.

Shinigami - Object Class: Keter - A biomechanical pair of entities, a naginata-wielding armored samurai-like figure (-1) and a semi-skeletal equine steed with jet wings (-2), who are both members of the Forbidden (see above), ex-members of a Mekhanite sect, and have personally taken out various warlords and some known GoI and even Foundation members. The pair have inspired the Goetic description of Abigor / Eligos and to a lesser extent the modern image of the grim reaper.

🎵Nobody wants to see your butt🎵 - Object Class: Euclid - A man who considers his butt to be extremely breathtaking and wants to moon people with their consent for that reason. NOTHING, not even death, can stop him, and somebody will eventually get mooned by him. He also frequently sings a song he made up, “Everybody wants to see my butt”, in the tune of “Everybody wants to be a cat” from The Aristocats.

Eating Children for God - Object Class: Keter - A group of highly durable predatory cyborgs made into such against their will by a Mekhanite sect based on a parable with cyborg wolves eating Sarkic sheep, and said parable was interpreted as promoting eating “heathen” children alive by the ones responsible. Said cyborgs are known by inconsistent names (Mormo, Lamia, Empousa, Gello, Onoskelis, Abyzou) due to there being more than one and how spread out they were throughout ancient Greece. (Based on Greek mythology)

Son of the Dragon - Object Class: Neutralized (formerly Keter) - Literally Vlad the Impaler, not a vampire here but instead something far more dangerous, a karcist, and the former leader of the Order of the Dragon. He was murderously Romanian-supremacist and fetishizes impaling the innocent in extremely fucked up ways. Notably, when the Foundation and Horizon Initiative teamed up to stop distribution of some anomalous bibles (see below), a Horizon Initiative member revealed himself to be a Neo-Sarkcist fascist and tried to murder the others, starting with a black man, but the Brotherhood of the Fallen Knights intervened, giving the others enough time to neutralize Vlad by impaling HIM. The Order of the Dragon have been trying to resurrect him since.

Species: These don’t have to be biological as we know it

Kappa - Object Class: Explained - A species of semi-humanoid semi-aquatic sapient amphibians with turtle-like soft shells and some unusual biological features. For example, there is a “bowl” on the cranium where the branching gills are, this can’t be left empty for long or the kappa will have trouble breathing. Kappas also have 2 orifices near their anuses which they use to blast through the water, as they’re not very good swimmers despite being aquatic, allowing them to migrate and be away from a river or lake. Also, during the cold months, a layer of tissue will grow over their gill-bowl (They’re alluded to in some other SCPs, especially one which causes kappas to often get teleported to Mongolia for Harry Potter related reasons [I’m not making this up])

Arseball - Object Class: Euclid - The “shirikodama”, a nonexistent organ from Japanese folklore, here actually a parasitic invertebrate that inhabits mammal abdominal cavities. Other than it being antimemetic, its only actual anomaly is that it attracts kappas, which would remove the parasite from its usually human or horse host violently by ripping it out through the anus of the host. (The idea here is that, despite these creatures being naturally occurring, folklore is literally to blame for these things being anomalous at all, as Japan itself is anomalous in a folklore-related manner in the Foundationverse)

Korrigans - Object Class: Explained - A species of roughly dog-sized sapient mammals (either rodents, insectivora, or mustelids) from Breton folklore and known for their ferocious French taunting, and a possible source for Gloatre (see below). They also have ties to the Aquitanians, an ancient civilization of the menhir-making type that’s a cultural predecessor of both Bretons and “Basques”. (The latter is a call-back to the legendary city of Ys, an SCP here)

Rasknovik - Object Class: Ticonderoga - A species of clover with both antimemetic and metaphysical properties, and some animals are somehow immune to its effects. (It was alluded to in another SCP article)

Mapinguari - Object Class: Keter - A predatory bipedal species native to the Amazon Rainforest, which vaguely resembles a cyclops. They have an antimemetic property that prevents one from noticing the sounds it makes until they see it or otherwise know for a fact it’s there, and they’re also very hard to kill. (From Guarani folklore)

Rainbow Rhinos - Object Class: Explained - A species of Congolese rhinoceros that most paleontologists believe extinct, and it non-anomalously has a reflective property on its hide that has a shiny rainbow effect. It’s what is actually called the moleke-mbembe (a term meaning, among other things, “rainbow” or “rhinoceros”, despite what creationist propagandists falsely claimed for the sake of propaganda). (There is another SCP that’s an anomalous Congolese equivalent to Jurassic Park, but that has since been established to not entirely be accurate, even if the animals are usually more accurate than popular depictions of corresponding prehistoric animals)

Grootslang - Object Class: Keter - A southern African species of sapient omnivorous extant dinosaur (unrelated to that Congolese dinosaur area) that does not correspond to known fossil records, even to that which the Foundation has access to. It has features like the frill of a ceratopsian, the limbs of a theropod, a long serpentine tail, and an oddly baboon-like face with a trunk, a presumed evolution of a sauropod head. What makes them considered so dangerous is how territorial they are, and they will avoid eating humans unless out of starvation. While not anomalous in and of itself, pretty much everyone has no idea where these things came from, although the idea that they came from another universe is presented. (Based on southern African folklore)

Dwarves: A species of child-sized humanoids from another universe who are highly technologically advanced compared to humans, and the Foundation frequently deals with Dwarven technology.

Items: This does not include physical media unless the medium itself is anomalous instead of the information

“Uh-uh-uh-uh, I’m a song from the sixties” - Object Class, Euclid - The hats mentioned above, these are yellow bowler hats that anomalously stay on the wearer’s head until taken off deliberately. They also grant the user the ability to both speak and understand Homsarese, and the The Homsar Reservation uses them in part to keep others from gaining information without wearing one. The title is a frequent quote from said language from Homsar from the show.

Out of Place Anomalies - Object Class: Explained - A series of various ancient artifacts in places that they seemingly should not be at, such as Egyptian artifacts in Australia. The title is a reference to OOPART, a shortening of ‘out of place artifact’. This isn't even an actual anomaly, but instead evidence that the Foundation has been deliberately obscuring some big historical details solely to keep the status quo.

Agrippa - Object Class: Thaumiel - A comically large book that is also a living organism, specifically a Sarkic bioform. It exists to record knowledge its masters gain, especially spells, and a Foundation researcher has become the master of it when he found it in an ankou-guarded crypt. The trouble is, it acts as a parasite, meaning that the Foundation has to assign a new master every few years.

“Uh-uh-uh-uh, I’m a trendy totebag” - Object Class: Safe - A totebag which viewers will consider to be trending, which inevitably results in the totebag’s design becoming trending, and then it changes form, starting the cycle over again. It was created by a The Homsar Reservation bember in a bet with a Gamers Against Weed member.

“Uh-uh-uh-uh, I’m not gonna lie to ya, that’s a fine piece of real estate” - Object Class: Keter - A recurring and possibly contagious piece of graffiti in the form of a blue block Arial font “g” which makes the large enough object it’s on considered to be a fine piece of real estate. It was created by the The Homsar Reservation for pranks.

Clown Water - Object Class: Euclid - Water filled with algae that’s non-toxic, but still as disgusting as usual except to both anomalous and regular clowns, and is used by anomalous clowns frequently. The anomaly is in the algae itself, a species that’s symbiotic with some clown species. (Based on an in-joke)

OMG I can hear rapin’ paper - Object Class: Safe - A brand of glitter labelled “Rapin’ Sparklez” that, if used to decorate a piece of paper, said paper will come to life and origami itself into an animal shape to hump things. (Your Grammar Sucks reference)

Media: Includes typical media or mind-affecting things

...and the word becomes FLESH - Object Class: Euclid - A series of Christian bibles made with human skin and blook ink that carry Neo-Sarkicism-related cognitohazards. They were created to convert Christians to Neo-Sarkicism by the Order of the Dragon and were intended by Vlad the Impaler to replace regular bibles at every church, but Vlad got sealed away before that could happen.

Object Cognitohazard - Object Class: Keter - A recurring series of cognitohazards that affect certain object show (think Battle for Dream Island or Inanimate Insanity) episodes. Affected episodes are the reason BFDIA, Inanimate Insanity II, and all second object show seasons before Extraordinarily Excellent Entities were never finished here. The cognitohazard itself acts like a disease with the following progression of symptoms: the affected starts believing that they’re an animate inanimate object of the same manner as an object show (the exact details depend on a mixture of the show, the affected episode in particular, and one’s mannerisms in general), they start attempting the kind of things said object type should be able to do (often with horribly lethal results), and they then turn into the kind of object they believe themself to be if both having survived and left untreated. One researcher deliberately exposed themself to BFDIA 5f (the affected BFDI episode) for science, and they managed to survive as they have prepared for the symptoms, and they became an amnestic spray can. All -1 instances, those transformed, are immune to any further effects and can thus watch the affected episodes safely.

“Twas the pride of the peaches” - Object Class: Safe - An anomalous parody of The Night Before Christmas with the same rhythm but it’s all in Homsarese and means something different and makes just as much sense in context. It has somewhat similar properties to the Homsar hats but much more specific, and it also has an antimemetic property that convinces the reader and the audience that there’s noting unusual provided they’re unaware of the poem itself.

Help me clean up THE WORLD - Object Class: Neutralized (formerly Keter) - An internet-based memetic anomaly that spread through messages with contagiously bad English that gets worse and worse, created by Giftschreiber (a terrorist GoI that uses word-based anomalies) to destroy the English language in a hilarious manner. Luckily, Your Grammar Sucks, a show on the YouTube channel JacksFilms, was the cure, so the Foundation utilized that to neutralize the anomaly before English as a whole became worthy of the response “a what a fucke”. Gamers Against Weed only helped make that worse out of a mix of amusement and unsuccessfully trying to weaponize it against far-righters.

Dangerous LOLcats - Object Class: Keter - An online video consisting of laugh tracks superimposed over footage of cats doing silly things, which will cause any viewer who does not already find the actions funny to find them and related actions extremely funny when done by any given cat. The funnier the action, like for example, a cat chasing a laser point, the more likely the affected will literally die laughing.

"Uh-uh-uh-uh, let’s start the Johnsons” - Object Class: Euclid - The Big Fat (formerly known as The Fruit that It Bears and later as The Shape of Water), an eccentric rock group consisting of a The Homsar Reservation member, bember, bemb, and memb respectively (the implied ranking is just for laughs and doesn’t really mean anything). Their lyrics are of the surreal humor variety and the music itself is cognitohazardous and results in the listener having synesthesia, hallucinating dancing stickmen, and having a desire to do logically impossible things such as “chickening butts” or “stealing others in the face”. It’s popular in the anomalous world, and Gamers Against Weed members occasionally distribute legally purchased copies freely outside of it just to mess with the Foundation. Albums under the present name currently include “The The Johnsons” and “When Will the Dancing Man?”, and various songs include titles like “Twin Size Bed Dimensions” (as The Fruit that It Bears), “Republic Services” (as The Shape of Water), “Nobody Wants to See Your Butt”, all of which are covers with altered titles and lyrics. (Basically a SorrowTV YT channel reference)

The Godless Delusion - Object Class: Apollyon - A religious text created by SAPHIR/SAPPHIRE (an occult terrorist group that not only pretends to be irreligious but pretends anomalous things aren’t real in an unusual variation of taqiyyah [not even remotely exclusive to Islam, by the way, both in-universe and irl]), which they pretend is merely a fascist political manifesto. This work is highly cognitohazardous and memetic and will result in the reader being assaulted with psychic visions relating to the “Cosmic Starfish“ (see above) and past iterations of the Fifthist Church. (I’m thinking of the idea of SAPHIR here being the next iteration of the Fifthist Church, and also the ones somehow responsible for SCP-6500, which would have eventually directly resulted in the slow and painful end of the world in the universe it occurred in, given that this is the Foundationverse)

Concepts: These are more abstract than the others

Pattern Screamer Chess - Object Class: Euclid - A series of related and highly complex chess variants that use pieces that don’t exist (SCP-XXXX-1) in addition to those that do in the gameplay. This being the Foundationverse, the rules end up getting pattern screamers (a form of dangerous abstract entity) involved, and the events make it harder and harder to continue playing and have been known to result in the death of one or both players.

Lashes of Fire - Object class: Keter - An anomalous form of ritual murder that involves a sacrificial victim getting lashed with a special whip with small heated metal plates along its length, and said wounds being copied onto a chosen target. It originated with the Order of the Brazen Heart (an occult terrorist group originating in ancient Israel and a known enemy of the Foundation), and while the Foundation though they disbanded the OotBH, the head researcher of the SCP became a victim, proving them wrong. It was based on an extremely cruel Roman punishment inflicted upon Israelites, including Yeshua before he was crucified, and the SCP itself is the in-universe in-name-only basis for “Pulsa DiNura”, a supposed assassination ritual some hate groups claim to use when the death of someone they hate occurs (irl, in fact).

Gloatre: A language that in real life is a conlang created by Vordb, a French black metal and dark ambient musician. Here, however, the language carries an antimeme that prevents people from being able to figure out how it originated and gets more intense with each repeated attempt, which convinced Vordb that he made it up. Vordb did come up with the presently used Latinic orthography, though. While Vordb is considered a Person of Interest (PoI) to the Foundation, his real name is redacted in the article out of respect for his privacy.

The Greatest Story Never Told - Object Class: Ticonderoga - A potent history-based antimeme surrounding Yeshua, aka “””Jesus”””, which is ultimately responsible for all extant Abrahamic religions. Even the ancient Romans were affected, which led to them mostly trying to pretend he never existed at first.

Hello Kitty - Object Class: Explained - The behavior of parroting in cats, which is far less effective than from certain types of bird but still adorable. The Foundation found about it relatively recently and at first assumed that it was a cognitohazard exclusive to cats and ranked it Keter, leading to a lot of wasted time and money, which a certain footnote troll (see above) will constantly remind the Foundation.

The War Against Old Letters - Object Class: Cernunnos - A hostile memetic idea that’s the in-universe reason why such letters as Þ/þ (thorn), Ð/ð (eth), Ȝ/ȝ (ghogh), Ƿ/ƿ (wynn), and pre-modern uses of Ɔ/ɔ are generally avoided in almost all cases in the modern world, with the notable exception of the latter 2 being used in Icelandic. Said idea is that said letters are “old-fashioned”, “stupid”, “pointless”, etc., and it frequently results in violence from the affected, including child abuse, a few murders, and even acts of terrorism, especially from the Thorncutters (see above). Studies even show that the afflicted have an intense desire to destroy any occurrences of the letters the anomaly, here created by British occultists for imperialist reasons, targets. What’s even worse is that several Foundation members are affected.

Locations: These don’t have to be anomalous, just relevant

Enochian Empire: An ancient British Isles based empire associated with Alagadda, and the source of the inhuman language High Enochian, the one the Enochian language created by John Dee and Edward Kelly was inspired by, which is something the Horizon Initiative really doesn’t want to admit. The Enochians created it as they wanted to get away from Alagaddan royalty, and they have inspired various British Isles legends, being misinterpreted as anything from giants to fae to demons. They were wiped out by elves looking to get away from Alfheim for equivalent reasons, who were in turn banished by proto-Celts to some anomalous locations, like Elven!Hy-Brasil (that place got trashed by a Fifthist “archon” in the 80′s).

Elven Colonies: Hy-Brasil was the largest of these, but there are still others, and given the refugees, their inhabitants tend to blame humans for the “archon” fucking Hy-Brasil up despite that being the work of the Fifthist Church (the present iteration of a highly hostile SCP based around “The Cosmic Starfish”, aka Aten, Tonatiuh, the Supreme Being, etc.) at most. All of these are spatial anomalies, and some elves are looking to take over the other Hy-Brasil (another SCP, an anomalous island inhabited by a non-anomalous and distinct Celtic group, and the apparent source of the Voice Taker, a different SCP that’s basically a bogeyman-like thoughtform).

House of pumpkin or pumpkin of house? - Object Class: Safe - A house-sized pumpkin carved into a house and inhabited by a friendly human-sized pumpkin with a face. Is his house made of flesh or is he made of house? He screams, for he does not know, and the Foundation screams for the same reason.

Ancient Slavic Cities “of the Gods”: Various Proto-Slavic cities, such as Radogost and Bujan, that appear in Slavic mythology, one of many such civilizations with anachronistic technology and having some connection with Mekhanites and rivalry with Proto-Sarkic groups. Some are extant but are no longer inhabited by humans, but instead something horrifying.

Butter for Everyone - Object Class: Euclid - Puddle Town, a town inhabited by butter fanatics, but at least with free butter. The trouble is that said butter is churned from the milk of, something, and said butter is complacency-inducing, allowing the heavier citizens to be fed to the milk-producing creature. (Based on an in-joke)

Everybody’s Nose - Object Class: Safe - Nosemary, an idyllic small town whose human inhabitants (-1) are required to give up their noses at an early age to a giant disembodied nose (-2) living in a special building, so that -2 can not only absorb the -1’s nose but become biologically connected to them in a non-Euclidean manner. This allows -1 to breathe and to take on the nasal symptoms for the -1s, but at the price of dependence and a blank area where the nose was. -1s make nose puns in everyday speech and repeat such things as “the nose knows”. However, the place is almost crime-free and people trust each other enough that there is little conflict, -1′s still somehow have a sense of smell.

SCP-8000 contest entries abridged daily

(Except, like, not well)

DrClef's entry - Her Red Right Hand Protects Us 6 offsets (I took the time to save them on Waybackmachine), several collapsibles, a number of crosslinks to pre-existing articles, including SCP and GOC articles, primarily featuring SPC-1764 (also Clef's work, notably unrelated to Shark Punching Center) Featured Groups: GOC; Serpent's Hand and Chaos Insurgency mentioned in passing

Boy howdy I didn't expect Clef to return First offset is a simple login screen that shows a RAISA message, informing people that there's some informational corruption going on. That will become apparent

Second offset is a significantly corrupted SCP file, detailing number of doorways that lead to a parallel dimension, first seen in the file SPC-1764 (brief summary: a metal disc that is connected to two worlds and swaps information about it so that we get information about SPC-1764 as described the DARD of the Unified Empire, and DARD get the SCP-1764 as described by us). Doorways are embued with radiation (regular and thaumic) when active and sometimes lets through dangerous thaumic entities that are difficult to get rid of. As such, doorways are to be deactivated and destroyed whenever one appears, and any entities are to be neutralized.

Third offset is a Celestial Archive of the Covenant of Illyriel file. This also details the same doorways, though seemingly from the side of the Unified Empire. Unexpectedly, Celestial Archive is also actively working towards deactivating the doorways, as well as stopping anything potentially harmful from being released into the SCPF universe. They also seem to be at odds with DARD and the Unified Empire, using epitets like foul and forbidden, as well as calling their leader a tyrant (though notably these are striked through). Covenant of Illyriel seem to be the "good guys"

For every good guy, though, there's a villain, to which the fourth offset leads us. The article, written by DARD of the United Empire, reads less like a factual file, containment procedure or anything of the sort, and more like a propaganda piece. It details the same doorways, how to activated them, as well as the history of SCP-1764 and the harm that came along with it. Notably, because SCPF was able to learn of militaristic intent of DARD, and decided to strike first by utilizing cognitohazardous and interdimensional phenomena, including SCP-106, SCP-426, SCP-571, weaponized amnesia (whether linked to 055 and/or 3125 is unclear) and weaponized depression (no idea, could just be a memetic agent). DARD didn't like this at all, so they declare war against SCPF, causing a group of benevolent entities to split off from DARD and form the Covenant of Illyriel

Fifth offset is, strangely, a GOC file, detailing the doorways, how deactivate them and how to combat whatever crawls out. It's not entirely surprising that GOC would discover the doorways, but it seems odd that they would also be affected by DARD and their wrath. Regardless of how, they got caught in the crossfire and Illyriel herself catches them up to speed. This offset is where most of information on what residents of DARD universe physically are - humanoids with pale-blue to dark-blue skin, hair ranging from white to black, eyes that glow in the dark similar to cats, and bodies that exhibit large quantities of radiation. DARD residents are supernaturally strong, fast and have thaumic abilities far in advance of a regular human baseline. Coupled with celtic/germanic iconography used on the doorways themselves, seems like we're dealing with Norse mythology's Dark Elves.

Sixth and final offset circles back to the SCP Foundation's original file (second offset) for the doorways, however this time it lack any data corruption, such as in the addendum and footnotes. More curiously, there's a collapsible at the end of the file that has a quote from Paradise Lost, as well as DARD/Unified Empire/bad guys logo. The quote ends with a crosslink to Chaos Insurgency hub, suggesting that DARD became a lesser between the two Dark Elf movements and became equivalent to a chaotic troublemaker organization in their universe, not too dissimilar to CI.

I know Clef is known for using hiddent 0 size text in his articles, I haven't had time to check for those here (or other two articles)

Tl;dr: A trans-dimensional anomaly triggers a war between humans (SCPF) and dark elves (DARD). Some dark elves weren't keen on the slaughter and splintered off from the DARD, forming an archive of their own and also opposing the DARD. DARD, pressured from both sides, lose the war, becoming little more than a Chaos Insurgency-esque threat to either SCPF or the benevolent dark elves.

SCP-803 "Predatory Parasols" was written by @cryokina and starring @levnil

Just because Altman is a field agent doesn't mean he's above paperwork. We all have to do it. Get archived idiot.

-Archivist Bertran

“At that point, Jack could barely hold it together anymore, so without another word, he physically picked his brother up and walked to the only available place to sit, that being SCP-590’s recently cleaned bed, and sat down with the younger male curled up in his lap, his legs bony and awkward as they tried to adjust to the unfamiliar position. It had been a long time since the two brothers had been that close to each other, the duo too deeply scrutinized and tested to be anything more than strangers, but in that moment, Jack hadn’t cared; he just wanted to hug his damn brother, and if he could have his way, never let go of him again, even if it meant losing everything the foundation had given him.”

Hurray, it’s here, it’s here, it’s here!!! I commissioned the brilliant and talented @divinity-beings for a drawn scene from one of my fics, and boy howdy did she deliver! The quote above, as well as the picture itself (in written form, at least), is from my fic “All on Memorex” on AO3, an SCP fic I wrote a few weeks back, so if you like this quote/are intrigued by the art, feel free to take a look at my fic, or better yet, check out divinity-beings’ amazing art, which I’ll link here!

Thanks again, Divinity; this looks AMAZING!

Could you do books that the scps might read?

Books that the SCPs might read

SCP 035 Anna and the French Kiss by Stephanie Perkins Anna is shipped off to boarding school in Paris where she meets the super-charming Etienne, and that's when things get interesting. I was a squealing, giggly, mush-fest all the while through reading this book. Stephanie Perkins knows just how to turn a seemingly ordinary love story into an unputdownable read. SCP 040 Your Brain Needs a Hug: Life, Love, Mental Health, and Sandwiches Just the title of this book by Rae Earl makes us feel a little lighter. And we don’t know about you, but our brains could definitely use a hug right now. While the book is geared towards teens, we found Earl’s advice to be relevant for all ages — particularly for anyone who struggles with depression, anxiety, social media addiction, and self-esteem issues. TBH, pretty much anyone can benefit from this book! SCP 049 And the Mountains Echoed by Khaled Hosseini And the Mountains Echoed is such an amazing and heartwarming read. It's about a pair of siblings that fate cruelly separates and then finally reunites. A must-read for its simple yet gripping narration and amiable characters. SCP 049-j The Red Notebook by Antoine Laurain This is a French romance novella, and basically a love letter to book lovers. There's mystery, romance, and some of the most beautifully crafted sentences and paragraphs I have ever read. The ending is so sweet, even though you wonder how you ever got there so soon. SCP 053 Lulu and the Rabbit Next Door by Hilary McKay Lulu and her cousin help their neighbor Arthur learn to love and care for his (neglected) rabbit. She doesn’t want her neighbor to feel bad so she writes the rabbit little notes with helpful gifts signed from her own pet rabbit named Thumper. It’s a kind way to show Arthur how to take care of his new pet SCP 073 HumanKind: Changing the World One Small Act At a Time Looking for heart-warming stories of kindness and compassion? HumanKind by Brad Aronson was made for you. But the book isn’t only full of uplifting stories that will move you to happy tears, it’s also packed with practical and actionable tips for how to be kinder in your everyday. One thing is for sure: after you put this book down, you’ll feel inspired to do something nice for someone else. And because of that, we think this is one of the best books on the planet! SCP 076 Do Unto Animals We absolutely DEVOURED this book by Tracey Stewart. Whether you’re looking for tips on how to better understand skunks and squirrels or read your pet’s body language, every page is full of compassionate wisdom about to treat animals in a way that they deserve. Also, the illustrations are absolutely beautiful — we nearly wanted to pet the pages because the animal drawings were so lovable. SCP 079 Walden (Henry David Thoreau) With the outdoorsman renaissance happening as we speak, it is nice to look back at one of the books that probably started it. Walden isn’t the bore you read back in middle school, it takes time to appreciate like a nice bottle of red. Thoreau’s masterpiece tackles so much while quietly nudging your brain into activity. It also makes you want to build a cabin SCP 096 Black Beauty by Anna Sewell Told from the perspective of the horse, this story is so beautifully written that it's easy to get lost in it's pages. I laughed and cried, as did my daughter when she read it. SCP 105 Dandelion Wine by Ray Bradbury Warm and fuzzy the whole way through, Dandelion Wine is by far the best story to make you feel good. Though I'm not the correct age to directly relate to the young adult story, I still felt the warm summer days and the wonder of it all. SCP 106 Catch-22 – Joseph Heller “War is hell,” is the old adage we all know, but Catch-22 looks to modify that a bit. Instead, war becomes super goddamn weird. The book follows a bomber squadron in the Second World War whose collective sanity is slowly being eroded by whatever passes for power. Throughout it all, the main character keeps trying to prove himself insane enough to be kicked out of the Navy, which is precisely why he can’t

be kicked out. Which is a catch 22 and yes, this is where the phrase comes from. It’s a great extrapolation of quirks and idiosyncrasies we see in day to day life, only this time, they’re affecting war SCP 134 (I know she don't have eyes . But there is a books for blind people) A Mango-Shaped Space by Wendy Mass A Mango-Shaped Space is about a 13-year-old girl with synesthesia (she can see, taste, and hear colors) and her journey in getting a diagnosis and accepting herself and all her differences. It's sort of a coming-of-age story, too. As someone with multiple chronic illnesses who has gone through the same process at the same age, this really was an incredible reading experience. One of my favorite quotes is "We all do the best we can, trying to keep all the balls in the air at once." I recommend it to everyone. SCP 173 Rabbit, Run (John Updike) The greatest mid-life crisis novel of all time doesn’t actually deal with a mid-life crisis at all. Harry “Rabbit” Angstrom is 26 when he decides to leave his wife and son for a new life. Of course, what that new life is, and what exactly he wants out of it isn’t clear to the reader or to Rabbit himself. It will strike a cord with all men who struggle with the idea of settling down. SCP 239 The Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling SCP 682 THE WOLF AND THE WATCHMAN BY NIKLAS NATT OCH DAG If you're the kind of person that can't get enough of Scandi noir films, TV shows and literature, then Niklas Natt och Dag's The Wolf And The Watchman should be next on your reading list. Set in 18th-century Stockholm, this tale is as dark as it gets, following the titular watchman and a detective as they hunt down the killer behind a dismembered corpse that appears in a local pond. As gruesome as it is gripping, it's the perfect literary companion as the nights get longer and increasingly eerie. SCP 847 The Case Against Satan by Ray Russell Two priests are called in to examine a girl who might be possessed by the devil. The Exorcist, right? Nope, it’s Ray Russell‘s The Case Against Satan, a novel of theological horror that beat William Peter Blatty’s book to print by eight years. The Case Against Satan is as much the story of a crisis of faith as it is a supernatural tale, and readers looking for a nuanced take on both should give it a try SCP 953 THE PILLOW BOOK BY SEI SHŌNAGON If you want to learn a bit more about the Japan of the past – and also, weirdly, all of us in the present – The Pillow Book is a cult classic you should absolutely try. Sei Shōnagon was a lady-in-waiting in the court of Empress Teishi in the year 1000 and here she collects her thoughts and musings about court life. To read a woman more than 1,000 years ago being as philosophical, neurotic and scandalous as anyone is today on social media is a thrill that lasts from the start to the end. SCP 1678 Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden Absolutely moving, the struggles Sayuri faces are painted so beautifully by Arthur Golden's masterful craft that you totally empathize with her as she grows and triumphs in a world designed to see her fail. The ultimate conclusion of the novel fills me with such warmth — it's both entirely unexpected and wholeheartedly appreciated.

Do you by any chance read SCP? Because I totally thought the “here be dragons” thing was a reference to SCP-1762. Very sad, but good story. At least in my opinion.

I haven't currently read any SCP unfortunately, but I'm vaguely aware of it! it does sound like the kind of thing I would enjoy and I've been briefly exposed to some of the SCPs (if that is how you word that), but not enough to really talk about it. I've been wanting to look into it for a while though!

my "because here there be dragons" blog title is a reference to Black Sails (the show), though that's not where the quote originated from. I explained it in this post here if you're interested! Black Sails is such a complex show and I loved the quote, so it became my blog title.

And because you suggested it, I did look at and read SCP-1762 and you are right that was a sad story. it's the kind where you know the ending but read it all anyways because you just have to see it happen. the goodbyes and hopes that they hadn't been forgotten and all the messages. they sent messages for so long. And they're all reaching out!! It's always reaching out and hoping for a response and missing their friends who don't even remember them!! Excellent story. The change from "here be dragons" to "here were dragons" really just sent it home. 10/10

I also enjoyed the style of the story, as it breaks grammatical conventions for specific reasons and tells the story using it. Ngl the off (/pos) way it's written feels like something I would do, so maybe that's why I liked it.

Thank you for the suggestion! I enjoyed the read and think the comparison to my blog title is nice. It's definitely ambiguous enough of a quote to be thought to be from several different places, and I never mind learning where other people think it's from! I may have had a specific show in mind, but others can interpret it as they want <33

// gore & blood // protag death

///they are strictly platonic -

Anne stood in the elevator with the guards, going to visit Abel for the first time, she had meet almost met the whole family. Cain had warned her about him prior. - he told her not to be surprised if she got stabbed or almost killed.

Anne walked out of the elevator first, running down the hallway into the observatory room, using her key card to open the doors. She walked over to the giant window and looked down, looking for him.

SCP 076-1 was open, but where was SCP 076-2?

She was too focused on looking him that she didn't notice when he climbed up on the box, staring at the short psychologist. Her thoughts were interrupted when Abel lunged towards the window, shoving a sword through the glass, almost hitting Dr. Evans.

"WOAH! " Anne fell backwards, staring up at him, she could see the physical resemblance between the two brothers. Abel was some how not slipping, his feet were planted firmly on the thin ledge that the window was built on. The guards that came in after her had their guns aimed on him.

"Jesus fucking Christ- holy shit. " She laughed, trying to get the fear gone, she stood up and Abel let go of the sword and it dissapeared. Abel then jumped down onto the floor of his contsinment cell. Landing on his feet - although he almost did fall over due to the momentum.

Anne stared at him before pressed down on the intercom button "You're scary. My name is Anne Evans, you can call me what ever until you're comfortable enough to refer to me as Dr. Evans. I'm a psychologist here and they want me to try and, " She held up her fingers and made air quotes for this next part. " Fix you. "

Abel continued to stare at her but now from the floor. He shouted something at her- I don't know Sumerian, I can't translate. -

".. Okay- uh, we'll need you to take some tests if you don't mind.. " She looked at the other people in the room with her.

Anne glared back down at him and then pressed back down on the button.

"The tests will just go over your mental health and give us a clue what's going on in that head of yours. " She grabbed the copy of papers and walked over to the door.

"Ma'am, it tried to attack you. I don't think your colleagues would like you going in there. "

"I don't give a fuck, dude. Open the damn door already. " She groaned.

"Yes ma'am. " The guard begrudgingly opened the door for her, Anne walked into a hallway, turned a corner and showed up on the wall she use to be facing, she could see them in the observatory.

Anne was stabbed in the gut almost immediately, the tip of the sword hit her spinal cord and she coughed up a lot of blood. She grabbed onto his hand, tightly.

"Keep the sword where it is. " She pushed the written test papers that were in a folder into his chest with her other hand. Abel was surprised but not impressed that she was withstanding the sword for so long. Normally people - especially the short women - went down quick.

The guards ran over towards to her 'rescue' the two after witness the assault.

"So... Abel, huh..? " She attempted a conversation- not that she was interested, but she needed to do something to stay awake. his scowl morphed into a look of confusion before he dead-panned, how did she know his name? He didn't tell them, she must have known one of his family members..

The guards came rushing in, pointing and fireing guns at Abel, Anne shoutes at them to stop. Abel just summoned another sword and deflected all the bullets, then killed them easily.

"How do you know my name. " It was almost perfect english. Anne froze up, unable to take her eyes off the bodies.

".... Uh... " Anne's body slid down the sword as she became more and more unconscious. Abel let go of the sword and stepped back, letting her corpse it the cell floor - he was able to escape now. That's what he did, he escaped.

Anne woke back up in Dr. Augusts medical room, she groaned which alterted him of her consciousnes. "He escaped. Didn't he? "

"Afraid so, Dr. Evans"

"Damn it.. One is going to be so fucking pissed.. "

"And the other Twelve too. " Andrew joked.

Anne attempted to sit up.

"Don't do that! " He ran over and stopped her, tears spilt out of Annes eyes from the pain alone.

" you have some internal bleeding.. So you'll have to go through surgery. I took some X-Rays of you and if you'll look at this. " He pointed at the pictures he had printed.

"It looks like some of the sword just have broke off or something inside of you. "

"Oh.. "

"I was going to do the surgery before you woke up, but the wound already closed. I've already canceled your appointments, the O5-1 and O5-6 have requested to visit you after wards. "

"... Fuck it. Sure. "

"Alright." Dr. August started to prepare Anne to go under.

there's a blog that's copying you guys but the straight edition. incorrect-ft-ez-quotes is their url. is this is also your blog? They post a lot of garbage on there though, and their quotes kinda suck so i assume it's not

So I actually went and looked at their blog for a moment and it's kind of all over the place. They reblog a lot of SCP stuff, only do some quotes, and their quotes aren't formatted like a traditional incorect quotes blog. It was a very strange experience scrolling through it.

We're not affiliated with them at all though, and this is the only blog we've made for incorect quotes. We've been here since Edens Zero has only had a few chapters, and will continue to be here for a long while!

While I didn't find any instances of actually copying our quotes word for word with the same characters, we did block them preemptively, but honestly that has more to do with the fact that both the admins on here tend to block gr/////uvia shippers and supporters just to avoid the drama and our own trauma.

Thanks for telling us but I, again, didn't see any word for word copies. As you said, all their quotes are very hetero or written all in the header for some reason, lol.