Tumgik
#schlatt is an uncle
Text
Tumblr media
was anybody going to TELL ME ABOUT THIS
12 notes · View notes
cxyotl · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
dadschlatt aus like this are the best tbh.
90 notes · View notes
mushroom-hoodie · 1 year
Text
Guys. I had a stupid but genius thought. Quackity as Morticia, Schlatt as Gomez, Tubbo as Wednesday, maybe fundy or tommy as pugsly?, like foolish as lurch(or maybe sam?), maybe Benson as thing?
16 notes · View notes
mango-shpango · 1 year
Text
i wanted to keep writing rattlesnake for dadschlatt but even that couldnt motivate me enough…
2 notes · View notes
klintoris · 25 days
Text
Jschlatt x Fem!Reader Smut
Tumblr media
When I started streaming, I never thought it would get me to where I am today. That's how everyone thinks, no one truly fathoms the huge increase in followers when collaborating with a huge streamer. 
For me it was Jschlatt. 
-
“YOU LITTLE FUCKING SHIT”  Schlatt screamed over the call after I just murdered him in Minecraft again, stealing all of his things. “My bad” I cackle over the line, “toots’ you are so fucking lucky you live in another state” he threatens, “fuck does that mean???? Are you threatening me, big man?? I will clobber you.”, I hold my streaming camera and stare directly into it. there's a small silence before he speaks up, “Don't, don't look at me like that”, “Like what?” still making direct eye contact with the camera, “I’m-”. I cut him off “Anyway, while you weren't looking I blew up your dog.” I pull away from the camera. 
Eventually after multiple matches of bickering, I grabbed my suitcase and made my way to the airport. 
-
Schlatt was streaming, as planned. Ted was visiting and knew about my drop-in. 
I pull up to the house in the Uber, getting anxious I look at my phone, I have the stream pulled up to see what the boys are up to. I get out, and standing near the door I message Ted that I am here, I watch as he tells Schlatt he's going to the bathroom. Soon Ted comes and lets me in. “ok so, I'm going to go back up and in like 5-10 minutes come into the room”, I nod, setting my suitcase near the door, along with my bag. Ted closes the door behind me and walks up the stairs, I follow him up through the hallway near the door of Schlatts streaming room. Ted walks in and closes the door behind him, assuming to keep jambo and soup out. Contemplating my entrance, the 10-minute mark hits and I open the door without my body in the doorway, schlatt and Ted both turn slowly to look at the door open. I walk into the doorway, as schlatt sees me and he turns to Ted speechless, “No fucking way”. he gets out of his chair, flinging it to the floor and throwing his hands on his head. “Hey, monkey man!!” I gloat and open my arms for a hug, “no no no how did you get here,” he says, obviously joking. “A plane, how else,” I say bringing my arms down, “aren't you excited??” I look at him, and he sighs “Only a little” he cracks a small smile. 
-
“Alrighty big man, I gotta head out,” I say after we've been streaming for over 3-4 hours.
“What? Where are you going??” he questions me after ending the stream, I stretch “To my hotel?” I question his antics, “why not stay here? Why waste the money?” he says to me as he stares at my exhausted state.  “Schlatt you don't have a spare room, ted isn't even staying here” I stare at him in confusion glancing at Ted, “Sleepover!” Ted says from the hallway as he prepares to leave for his hotel. Schlatt looks at Ted and then me raising his eyebrows, “You're funny schlatt but where the hell would I sleep?” I cross my arms looking down at Schlatt in his rolly chair, “I have a bed, I can sleep on the floor like a gentleman”, “That's silly I wouldn't make you sleep on the floor in your own house.” I stare closely trying to see his reaction. “Well” he pauses for a second, I can hear Ted stop moving to listen intently, “we could always share a bed, it's a king so we have our own postal codes almost” he grins leaning back with his hands behind his head. I internally scream, I find Schlatt very attractive but to sleep in the same bed would probably kill me. I stare, thinking,  if I ever have a chance it would be now, “finnee” I cave. “there that's my girl!” he squeals like a little school girl, almost making me forget what he said. “Alrighty kids'm off” Ted speaking up from the doorway in a sing-songy voice pulls me away from my thoughts. “awwhh bye Uncle Ted,” I say hugging him, Schlatt gets up from his chair and says his goodbyes and looks at me “Okay where’ your bags?” schlatt turns to me, the doors shut downstairs as ted leaves, “by the door but I can get them its fine”. “Alright if you insist on lugging a suitcase up the stairs, knowing you it's probably heavy too, be my guest.” I sigh, “Fine, Mr. Schlatt, could you please carry my bags up to your room for me pretty please” I blink rapidly looking up at the tall man with my hands clasped as I swayed, “perhaps.”.
-
Crawling into the bed after doing all of my nightly routines, it's rather fucking cold. I shiver as I regret the choice of clothing, shorts and a t-shirt, only if I knew schlatt kept his room at arctic level cold. “Everything alright toots’?” he looks at me, realizing he's wearing the grey sweatpants girls fawn over, I groan “Nothin’”, he shrugs and climbs under the covers far away from me. I shiver as my teeth start to clatter, almost nothing is helping, not even Schlatts thick blankets. “You sure you’re alright?” he asks from across the bed,  “Why is it so cold in here?” he chuckles as I feel the bed shift, as the bed creaks I feel schlatt pull me up against him, “there you can be warm now,” he says sliding a hand around my waist. Almost on cue, a shiver ran up my spine and my ass pushed into his dick, I froze in position after hearing him grunt. “what was that?” he says in a low voice, “not a clue” I manage to let out trying to sound as if I don't have a massive lady boner right now.
I try to shift to get comfortable, along with try not to push into him again, I graze his cock again. He holds my hips, “If you keep doing that I swear” Wanting to push his limit I speak out without thinking, “You will do what?”, there's a pause before I grind intentionally this time against him. He groans, he slides his hand from my hips to lower, his hand above my pussy, I breathe heavily anticipating his next move. He glides his hand down again cupping my clothed heat, I breathe in, sucking all the air in my lungs. Schlatt puts his head in the crook of my neck, he proceeds to start kissing and nipping at my neck slowly as he starts to practically massage my clothed pussy. I moan out, still lying on my side I turn to face schlatt, staring at him I look at his lips as he does the same. We pull each other into a heated kiss. He moves his hand from in between my thighs and gets on top of me. He lays in between my thighs, grabbing at my chest as his big hands roam around my body almost claiming it. I groan into the kiss as I feel his cock grind up against my covered pussy, schlatt notices this and grinds into me more, still gripping my chest.
He moves his lips from mine to my neck again, his mutton chops tickling at my neck as he sucks and bites at my sensitive area. “Fuck schlatt, please” I plead, not even sure of what I'm asking for.
“What is it princess?” he pulls away from my neck to look at me, “you want me to fuck that pussy of yours? Hm?” he taunts almost pouting at my state. Nodding eagerly he speaks up, “Use your words, what happened to that loud mouth of yours?”, “Please, please fuck, fuck me schlatt”. “That's it” he bellows as leans back as he practically rips my shorts down my legs, seeing the wet spot on my pink lace panties he teases me, not just with his words but his finger, grazing the spot as he says “she’s practically drooling for me, huh toots’”. I try to squirm away from him toying with my bud, but he grabs my hips and slowly hooks his finger on my panties pulling the skimpy article to the side leaning down and giving it a long lick.
He pulls away licking his lips, “She tastes almost as pretty as she looks” I moan in response, wanting to beg again he pulls his shirt over his head. I revel in the patch of chest hair before looking at his hands pulling his sweats off, I inhale sharply before he leans back down to kiss me, taking my shirt off during the kiss he breaks to look at my tits. “Fuck princess why were you hiding these from me”, schlatt starts to lick and suck at my right nipple while kneading the other tit, attempting to give them equal attention. At this point, I love the foreplay, though, the anticipation is killing me. I whine at the contact, “Please schlatt” I beckon pulling at his hair, he pulls away from my tits, “Fine fine”. Schlatt pulls back, taking my panties off he throws them somewhere behind him, attempting to close my legs he slaps them open. Schlatt takes his boxers off, and as his cock hits his stomach, the fear of god strikes me. It would be assumed schlatt would have a huge dick but I feel like ill be the next Mr. Hands. Schlatt resumes his position in between my thighs, moving his hands from beside my waist to guide his cock to my entrance, teasing it slowly before sticking the tip in. “shit, you're already so tight”, I moan a little in pain at the expected stretch, eager for him to put all of his cock in I buck my hips, he grabs my hips, almost enough to bruise them.
“M’ tryin' to hold back toots’ you aren't helping my case” he grumbles, “What if I do not want you to hold back?” I say not even thinking, he looks back and forth between both of my eyes for a second before shoving his whole cock in. I gasp at the stretch, and he begins to thrust at a normal pace, “f fuck schlatt” I suck in through my teeth before throwing my head back, “more please” I bring my head back looking at him. He's so focused on my reactions to him that he doesn't comprehend what I say until he pulls all the way back out and slams back in, his balls hitting the back of my ass hard.
“Holy shit,” he says before grabbing at my hips, leaning back on his feet he uses the fat from my hips to yank my body back onto his cock. “Oh my god”, I say clawing at his hands holding my hips, “he can't help you right now princess” he states after chuckling and then groaning. Schlatt slaps at my tits before grabbing at my neck, now using it as leverage along with my hip still, slamming me onto his cock.
As he pounds into me he makes eye contact with me before reaching down to my clit with the hand that was on my neck, rubbing at the bundle of nerves I go to throw my head back.
“Don't you fucking dare, I want you to look at me when you cum on my cock with that pretty pussy” he says through gritted teeth. I whimper at his words feeling white hot pleasure start to build up, “please please please please” I beg, “come on pretty girl let it out” as he fucks the spot in me that many have had trouble finding. “I'm, ah” I cum, and I cum hard, “That's it, that's my girl”, but he still keeps going. Not stopping. “Schlatt” I manage to get out between moans, “I'm not done with you yet”, flipping me onto my stomach he lifts my hips as he pushes himself back in. “oh my fucking-” I get cut off when he starts slamming into me again, slapping my ass roughly he holds the fat on my hips again, leaving bruises. “She takes me so well princess” I whine, starting to drool from over-stimulation before he yanks my head by my hair pulling me flush against his body.
He grabs my waist, and snakes a hand down back to my clit, “schlatt I can't, I can't”, “Yes you fucking can”, I clench on his cock as my second orgasm builds up. “F- fuck” he moans out, “cum with me pretty girl”. I moan at his words as I feel his cock twitch in me, clenching down I cum and fall against the bed. He whimpers noises I never thought I'd hear from his mouth, “Take all of it, good girl, gon’ fill you up s’ nice”, I feel him paint my walls white as he slows to a hilt. He pulls out as liquid gushes out of my abused hole, “gotta get you cleaned toots’” he says out of breath. 
Tumblr media
this is my first post AHHHHH!!! let me know if you guys enjoy and if you want more!!
277 notes · View notes
renranram · 14 days
Text
massive age gap schlatt hcs!
Tumblr media
• let's say reader is 19 and schlatt's 34
• they met when reader was still 18 and schlatt was 33, the two met on reader's university because schlatt is her friend's uncle
• got along fastly
• when i say massive age gap i also meant massive, and i mean MASSIVE size difference
• would call reader doll, baby, little one
• schlatt felt it was immorally wrong to flirt with a girl half his age but went along with reader
• would rest his jaw on top of her head in a way to tease her
• would be very protective of her when talking to another boy as same age as her
• snatching you away, hugging you infront of the boy, being clingy and touchy just to show him you're his
• he wouldn't tell you, but he'll overthink and be a little insecure but reader would always reassure him that she's all his
• and during sex, he would be very VERY gentle with her, his hands on her hips, slowly guiding her with his thrusts
• calling him pretty and showering her with kisses
• " fuck, is this okay? am i not hurting you? feels good hm? "
• " baby, you're so fucking pretty, holy shit, so fucking beautiful "
• and during aftercare, he'd spoil you, bathing you, feeding you, buying you immediately what you wanted
a/n ; feel free to send any requests :3!
220 notes · View notes
favwurstnightmare · 8 months
Text
schlatt who "hates kids" until he sees how you are around them.
Tumblr media
i'm picturing either of you two having nieces or nephews and seeing them every once in a while for family gatherings
the kids trying to get him to play and you playing along
"come on uncle jay, why won't you play with us?!" his nephew whines, trying to convince him to play. "yeah, uncle jay, why won't you play?", you tease, with a smirk on your face.
schlatt looking at you playing with his/your nieces and nephews from a couch or while sitting at the table with the biggest grin on his face??
him acting annoyed around them but secretly loving it and loving to see how happy and giggly all the kids are around you
his heart doing backflips while watching the kids arguing over who you should play with, and you trying to explain that you can play with everyone
having the baby talk on the way home from the family gathering... i'm not okay.
Tumblr media
a/n: this is my first post i'm so excited!! my baby fever has been going crazy these past few days and i've been thinking about schlatt with kids after today's chuckle sammy episode, SPECIFICALLY the part where he complains about kids (during the third aita ask). im so normal about him it's becoming a problem.
500 notes · View notes
Note
Schlatt seems like he would love to fuck you in a house full of people just so they can hear your loud moans
Oh of course he does.
Just imagine that you go home with him to New York to spend Christmas with his family (I'm talking grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, godchildren, the works, alright?) so the house is FULL full.
You guys would probably get caught under the mistletoe and his family would definitely cheer you on and be all "Oh, you know what that means, you two. Pucker Up!" all jokingly and he'd give you a kiss (of course because it's his favorite thing to do with you....outside the bedroom anyway (go read this for more)) but then towards the end would try to slip a lil tongue and his family and you would laugh as you playfully push him away and you think you're done, but OH NO. He's thinking about it all night and then when you finally head downstairs to his room to go to sleep (you really thought, didn't you?) Once you're both under the covers he's ON TOP of you, sucking bruises onto your neck, chest, nipples, kissing all over your face, nibbling on your earlobes, all while his goddamn finger is playing with you.
"Schl-Schlatt" you'd whimper, trying to stay quiet and trying (and failing miserably) to push him away. "You-Your family will hear."
"Oh i'm counting on it dolly face. Want everyone to hear how good I make my baby feel."
Feeling a moan you bite your lip and arch your back, biting back a moan.
"Uh-Uh, come on, Toots. Moan for Daddy. Lemme hear your pretty moans baby girl."
290 notes · View notes
mrclownery · 1 year
Text
thinking abt dsmp with like. ACTUAL citizens and media is very interesting to me in regards to c!tommy. one second youre 14, youre leading a war effort and youre a fucking hero!! theres papers about you about this kid who hated reading except when it came to obsessing over war strategies and whatnot (thank his Almost but not really uncle figure technoblade for that), went from playing with wooden swords in his backyard to defending a country in the matter of a few years. Hes self trained, a prodigy in the making. Literal poster child of the war effort!! Then flash forward a year or two later, the people have changed. A smear campaign on Schlatts behalf would do nothing short than kill this affection for their effort. Not to mention THE 16TH?? suddenly that bright eyed kid is appearing out of the ravines for the first time in months, his brother blew up a country and the kid KNEW about the plan?? Suddenly maybe hes not so charming maybe hes even DANGEROUS maybe Dream was right about him all along, hes not fun hes angry and impulsive and wont answer ANY questions about his dead brother! Hes violent. He set a house on fire. Theres word that another exile is being considered, that sounds like something that definitely needs to make the papers.
1K notes · View notes
rgbstatic · 11 months
Text
A List of Bursonas and Where they are From
Simpbur [E-Girl Trilogy]
Softbur [Softboy]
Argbur [Editor ARG]
L’manbur [DSMP]
Pogbur [DSMP]
Ghostbur [DSMP]
Revivebur [DSMP]
Limbobur [DSMP]
Phantombur [Origins SMP]
Qbur [QSMP]
Walter Crondale [DSMP/Origins SMP]
Dr. Malpractice/Keith [TommyInnit Mod Videos: Dragon Morph Mod, Surgery Mod]
Zonebur [Twitter Acc ‘Zonebur’, spoke in only emojis]
Wimpfred [Slimecicle Universe Zombie Apocalypse video]
100pbur [100 player Videos]
30daybur [30 Day SMP]
Rustbur [SBI Rust]
Ishmael/Raftbur [Raft w/ TommyInnit]
Earthbur [SMP Earth]
Livebur [SMP Live]
Skybur [Skyblock Let’s Play]
Hardcorebur [Hardcore Let’s Play]
Tiptup [Tiptup’s Top 10’s, DSMP (non canon character)]
Daynjer Boy [Stream Bit]
Modbur [TommyInnit mod videos (various)]
Sorrybur [The Sorry Boys videos (various)]
Dark Wolf [The Sorry Boys: We Started a Cult]
Wilma [The Sorry Boys: We Became Painters]
William Godwinson [The Sorry Boys: We Survived a Zombie Apocalypse]
Mr. Handy [The Sorry Boys: We Went to Court]
Prince/Knight Gabriel [The Sorry Boys: We Saved a Kingdom]
Sebastian Wednesday [The Sorry Boys: We Hosted a Cursed Gameshow]
Amongbur [Among Us]
Phasmobur [Phasmophobia]
Laughbur [You Laugh, You Lose]
YCGMAbur [Your City Gave Me Asthma album]
Boringbur [Maybe I Was Boring EP]
Lovejoybur [Lovejoy band]
Smartbur [I am Very Smart satire single]
KPCBbur [Karen Please Come Back, I Miss the Kids satire single]
MCCbur [Minecraft Championships]
Challengebur [Challenge videos, with Schlatt]
Draq’thar, Killer of Men [Stream Bit, Wilbur Soot with long haired wig]
Beardbur [Wilbur Soot w/ beard]
Tiddy Pang [Stream Bit, pulled tit muscle]
Studentbur [TommyInnit Vlog video: We Went Back to School]
Vlogbur [TommyInnit Vlog videos (various)]
Loreman [DSMP, GNF Lore stream]
Hauntbur [Exorcism of Uncle Nasty stream, IRL Ghosthunting stream]
473 notes · View notes
npcdragonboi · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
Tubbo and his many dads
Headcanon that Schlatt have to put Tubbo in adoption because he went in debt for SOMEONE(Jambo)'s surgery bills and couldn't take care of Tubbo and boom Desert Dads + Hermitcraft Uncles and Aunties.
-- I like the hc that Tubbo shapeshifts traits from the people he loves. Bonus: Scar knits the wittle sweaters for him, malewife Scar real
979 notes · View notes
rabbitsrams · 5 months
Note
Fuck it, Schlatt dressed as Santa Claus.... go crazy... and I mean go crazy...
ohhhh anon you are cooking with this one
im gonna make this dad! schlatt themed because i think it's perfect :')
gets a tad suggestive at the end but is mostly just fluffy fluff :D
❆ so you and schlatt are married with two kids, a boy and a girl
❆ you mention in passing how your uncle used to dress as santa when you were a kid and bring you presents
❆ SO... what better way to continue the tradition?
❆ rents a costume from some random shop and hides it from all of you so it can be a surprise!!
❆ it's christmas morning and you and the kids are waiting for a "special surprise" from dad
❆ he doesn't come down the chimney necessarily but he is hiding behind the tree and pops out when you come in w/ them
❆ "i didn't know santa was gonna visit us!"
❆ the kids are OVERJOYED. they (kind of) know it's schlatt in a costume but they play along with it because they're just so happy!!!
❆ they open their presents and are soooo happy🥺
❆ and you have some presents to open as well!!
❆ all in all it's just so sweet
❆ the kids run off to play with their new toys which means you and your husband have some time alone 😉
❆ "i really liked my presents this year."
❆ "yeah?"
❆ sitting in his lap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
❆ "but there's something else i want."
❆ "and what is that?"
❆ making out while he's still in the costume that's what
❆ what i NEED rn.
❆ anyways.
❆ alexa play i saw mommy kissing santa claus hehe
97 notes · View notes
ohbabydollie · 3 months
Note
I need more of schlatt & latina reader PLEAAAASDEE 😵‍💫
few more hcs!!
Tumblr media
if you grew up in a home that was more of a “children are meant to be seen not heard” schlatt will hear you out!
he will make sure you do feel heard, even when it’s hard
he knows can’t fix the past so he’ll help you learn how to do good in the future
he understands you don’t mean to be angry or upset sometimes but you just are and will wait until you want to talk about it
he’s wants to be there for you through the good and the bad and the awful
onto the less angsty
yk how his fam is big corn people?
ELOTES/ESQUITES!!
he will eat tf out of some esquites or any street food as a matter of fact
likes going to tianguis, la pulga, etc. with you!
especially the cheap ass prices at a pulga
throw in some chicharrón bien preparado n call it a date
likes looking for places to go eat with you
has made it a saturday morning tradition that you both go eat pancita (or anything you like) at a restaurant for breakfast/brunch
it hits everytime, especially when you’re both hungover
likes his gansitos frozen (no i’m not taking criticism)
keeps little snacks or candies in his pantry/fridge all the time
calls u “cariño” “corazón de melón” “vieja” “amor” “chiquita” “chikibaby”etc. especially if one of the nicknames pisses u off
LOVES salsa valentina and chamoy
god forbid someone makes homemade chamoy bc he’s absolutely devouring it with any and every fruit he can think of
if you listen to bolero while cleaning with him he’ll stop you so you guys can dance
“not right now, i gotta clean schlatt” you say as your boyfriend hugs you from behind “jus’ take a break, c’mon it won’t kill ya” he says as you roll your eyes and finally agree
“okay, but no funny business” you say putting the rag down and washing your hands to dance with him. he smiles at you, leaning into you and softly singing the lyrics to you as you smile
before you know it, you find yourselves making out with the music in the background, cleaning supplies forgotten but you’ll get to cleaning tomorrow
he genuinely puts so much love and passion into your relationship, getting you flowers, making the most out of little moments, etc.
he will be as romantic as he can be
meeting your cousins sucks for him though
they (especially if you have any male cousins) side eye him most of the time when they first meet him
they don’t mean to be rude but wtf is a random boy doing in their home???
your male cousins (esp if they see you as a little sister) don’t think anyone is good enough for you
they try to scare off schlatt at first but it doesn’t work so they try plan B
making him stay stupid shit in spanish infront of the family until he gets embarrassed and decides not to return (spoiler it doesn’t work)
“say ‘tengo el pene chiquito’ ” a cousin says to schlatt “tengo el pene chiquito(i have a small dick)?” schlatt asks as they snicker and nod “yeah just like that, don’t change a word” they say laughing while schlatt nods in acknowledgment
“ok, just don’t change a word” they say laughing while you go up to schlatt “y/n, guess what?” he asks you “hm?”
“te voy a dar mis hijos (im gonna give you my kids)” he says making you go red and your cousins stare at him
“hablas español (you speak spanish)?” they ask as he nods
most of your family interrogating him AND you
“does he treat you well?” “does he make good money?” “would he make you work” “cuantos hijos quiere (how many kids does he want)?” “es católico? (is he catholic)” etc.
at the end they decide that they approve of him
he should watch him back if you guys have a nasty break up though (warned by any male family member of urs)
“haha, just don’t break her heart” one of your uncles says to schlatt, laughing and shaking him as schlatt laughs nervously
“no seriously, hurt her and you’re dead, i’ve been to prison, i’ll go again”
at the end of the day as long as you’re happy, they’ll be happy
72 notes · View notes
lovable-liar · 5 months
Note
Dad Hasan is living in my brain rent freeeer!!!! I feel like he’d definitely be the parent that gets angry at the school if his kid was mistreated in any way. Like he’d want to burn the school down type shit.
His eldest daughter comes home holding her younger sister's hand while the little one cries.
"Papa! Yavru is crying!" (translation: baby, young, cub, nestling, youngster, little one - Turkish)
"What's wrong, yavru? What's wrong my baby?" He coos as he picks his daughters up, placing one on each knee.
"Huh? You hurt, yavru?"
When she mumbles something through tears, he leans in to hear her better.
"What'cha sayin', baby? Speak up, papa's got bad ears!"
"My teacher- wouldn't let me play soccer with the boys at lunch time..." She blubbers out, her little wobbly words send a pang to his heart.
"Awh, yavru... büyük yavru, go find Renna. Papa's gonna make everything okay." (translation: big baby, big young, big cub, big nestling, big youngster, big little one - Turkish)
The next day, he takes the girls to school himself. Well- not *all* by himself.
He gets Uncle Ludwig, Uncle Will, Uncle Austin, Auntie QT, Uncle Schlatt, Uncle Ted, and Uncle Marche to tag along.
The kids are *so* happy to see them all!!!
Your littlest one is strapped to Schlatt's chest in a sling, your son sits in Ludwig's lap and your two girls sit with QT between them.
When they get to school, the kids are a little sad that their time with their Uncles and Auntie is over today but their daddy promises they'll see them again soon and that they'll walk them into school.
Once the girls are in their class room and your son is in the nursery, all that's left is your littlest one. (Who is snugly snoring and dribbling on Schlatt's shoulder.)
Well- that's not all that's left.
Unbeknownst to the kids, there was an actual reason for their Uncles and Auntie being here.
To intimidate a certain someone.
Of course, Hasan is intimidating enough, but after you'd heard what happened, you wanted that teacher to shit himself.
Your husband insisted you stay home because he knows you, and he knows you had an 80% chance of getting into a physical fight over your kids.
"Hello, I called yesterday, we're here to see Mr. Keller!" His tone is so sweet, and gentle, and kind towards the lady in the office. A complete juxtaposition he intends for later.
"Name?"
"Hasan Piker."
"Oh! You're Ece and Elif's father! Your daughters are such angels, everyone absolutely adores them. They're so polite! Tell me your secret! My son doesn't even know how to pronounce the word 'please' and he's 15!" (Ece: 'The Queen.' - Elif: 'Honest.')
He chuckles softly at her words and replies with, "It's all their Ren! They'd be rabid animals if it weren't for them."
"Are you all going to see Mr. Keller? I don't remember seeing anything about multiple people on the meeting form..."
"Sorry, I should have prefaced! We're seeing Mrs. Maddox about an issue with Mr. Keller."
"Ah! Yes, I see that now! God... he's always got something going on with him. Never liked him. Always very cold, never refills the coffee in the staff room. I've also heard he got a parent pre-"
"Mr. Piker!" Mrs. Maddox's voice reverberates off the walls. She was a lovely woman, she made sure the school offered free school meals, she'd escort kids to their buses personally, she baked every single kid a sweet treat for the holidays, she was wonderful.
"These are the girl's Uncles and Aunt, I see! It's lovely to meet you all."
After getting acquainted with her, they all entered her office and took their seats and waited for Mr. Keller to arrive. Which took a little longer than expected.
He sauntered into the room with an exaggerated roll of his eyes, accompanied by an exasperated sigh and an irritated "Yes?" directed towards Mrs. Maddox. The air practically froze with his evident disinterest. However, the cool guy act was swiftly abandoned when he realized the unexpected presence of more people in the room.
"Take a seat, Robert! This is Mr. Hasan Piker; you have his youngest daughter, Ece, in your class," Mrs. Maddox announced warmly.
'Robert' walked in, his face transitioning from its initial nonchalant expression to a slight shade of pale as he took in Hasan's appearance.
The shift in atmosphere was palpable, and 'Robert' went even paler when Mrs. Maddox excused herself to take a phone call, leaving an awkward silence hanging in the air.
As soon as Mrs. Maddox shuts the door behind herself, QT springs into action.
"What's this I've heard about you banning the girls from soccer, 'Robert'?"
"Mrs. Piker-"
"Mrs. Ahgren." She corrects him with a sting of malice woven into her words.
"Apologies, Mrs. Ahgren... I have no idea what you mean! The girls are absolutely allowed to- and are encouraged to play sports of all kinds at this school! Hinting at the idea that I've 'banned' them is completely preposterous!"
"Are you trying to tell us that our niece lied to her own father?" Will speaks next, completely bewildered by this teacher's boldness.
"Absolutely not, Mr..."
"Neff."
"Neff. Mr. Neff. I simply mean that our school is not 'old-school' in that regard. We have a girls soccer club for after school on Wednesday if your daughter would like, Mr. Piker!" 'Robert' continued, attempting to smooth things over.
QT narrowed her eyes, unimpressed by 'Robert's' attempt to deflect the accusation. She shot a glance at the rest of the group, and a silent agreement passed between them.
Hasan, Will, QT, Austin, Ludwig, Ted, and Schlatt formed a united front, ready to confront the teacher.
QT leaned in, her voice cutting through the room like a knife. "What's your game, 'Robert'? Our niece doesn't lie. If she says you're banning girls from soccer, we're inclined to believe her. Now, you have a choice: either you come clean right now, or we escalate this matter."
"Are you threatening me, Mrs. Ahgren?"
QT chuckled, a humorless sound that sent shivers down 'Robert's' spine. "No, 'Robert,' I'm not threatening you. I'm promising you. Promising you that we know you're not all the innocent teacher you like to make people believe you are." (Best believe QT did some CIA type background check on this guy.)
"You're not *all* related to Ece, are you?"
The room fell silent for a moment as 'Robert' attempted to sow seeds of doubt.
Hasan Piker added, "Blood or not, this is Ece's family. Count yourself lucky my partner isn't here, they would've ripped you a new one by now."
"I'm sure."
Schlatt, with a sly grin, said, "You're in for a lesson in community, buddy."
Said man stands and saunters over to Mr. Keller's seat. He places his large hands on the arms of the chair and, still with the baby strapped to him, leans in real close to say, "You might not know this about me, but I've been around. My connections go deep. Ever heard of discretion? I've got resources at my disposal that can make your life a living hell. Now, we're here to resolve this peacefully, but I'd strongly advise you to drop this 'girls can't play soccer with boys' nonsense. Trust me, it's in your best interest to cooperate."
"Thank you for taking the time to meet, Mr. Piker! I'm looking forward to seeing your spouse at tonight's charity event."
"Oh, they wouldn't dream of missing it! It's a priority for both of us," Hasan replied with a warm smile.
"Wonderful news! Will you be the one picking up Ece, Elif, and Aslan today?" (Aslan: 'Lion.')
"Absolutely, we'll all be here to pick them up," Hasan confirmed.
"Sounds great, I might even see you! If I don't, have a great rest of your day!"
As they bid their farewells, a palpable silence settled in the car during the drive home. The hum of the engine was the only audible sound, and the air inside the vehicle seemed to carry the unspoken tension that lingered from the meeting.
Hands were balled, jaws clenched, brows pinched.
REACHED A WORD LIMIT!!! PART II HERE!!!
56 notes · View notes
mcytblrconfessions · 6 months
Note
i can’t stand to look at or hear schlatt at all purely because he looks and sounds like my dickhead uncle. like i see him and i just see a younger version of uncle jerry and i get angry and want to smite him for being there. i don’t have an opinion on the man himself bc i am so blinded by my uncle jerry vision that i have no idea what schlatt is actually like.
82 notes · View notes
wh0re-in-the0ry · 3 months
Text
What is Schlatt yapping about??? He sounds like an uncle that your parents don’t let you talk to
51 notes · View notes