#save me melatonin
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I've been in an absolute frenzy all day getting drawing done for my tattoo portfolio and then the DM (dungeon master) of my new D&D campaign dropped some cool shit in my DMs (direct messages) and NOW a gregarious lady with a cute smile is chatting me up on hinge how am I supposed to sleep under these conditions
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i need to stop getting too into dense political reading late at night bc it just makes me insane
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experiencing the kind of shrimp emotions only a man about to start his period can feel. except that was last week and it’s just depression
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More ROTTMNT Headcanons: I wrote this instead of sleeping so excuse the typos
Raph puts his siblings in air jail
Donnie is overworking himself? air jail!
Mikey is staying awake to finish a big art project? Air jail!
April is acting a little too reckless? Air Jail!
Leo is being a self-sacrificing little shit? AIR JAIL!
It’s their least favorite thing in the whole wide world so he does it at least once a week
So in my mind, I feel like the boys hang out in each other's rooms more than they hang out in their own
And I was thinking about where they would sit
Raph has beanbags for his siblings (they’re color-coded and everything)
Because his bed barely has enough room for him (it’s overrun by stuffed animals)
Leo doesn’t have any chairs or beanbags in his room
If they want to hang out they have to sit on his bed or on the throw pillows he has on the floor
And even though this sounds incredibly unappealing his siblings still hang out in his room the most
Donnie only has a gaming chair in his room so they’d either sit on that or the floor (they usually just steal the beanbags from Raph’s room)
And Mikey doesn’t have any chairs in his room so he gives up his hammock and he sits on the floor (again they usually steal Raph’s beanbags)
I also love the headcanon that the twins have a calming effect on each other
So I got some ideas
After Donnie has a panic attack he finds Leo and sits with him
Everyone knows what Donnie looks like after a panic attack
So they don’t touch him and they’ll tell him where Leo is
And when Leo has a really bad flashback (we love PTSD) he’ll text Donnie to get him
Cause no one wants to move after revisiting the worst moment of their life
So Raph has a peanut allergy
So I think Leo always has an EpiPen in his little pouch
I honestly feel like Donnie gets random little cuts all the time so Leo keeps his favorite Atomic Lass band-aids in his pouch
And I’ve seen a lot of people headcanons that Mikey has diabetes so the boys always keep a little snack on them at all times
I also said in this post that Leo and Mikey had asthma so I think Leo would keep an inhaler in there for both of them just in case
He also keeps some bandages and other medical shit
But at the very bottom are two photos the one Casey had (I imagine they all have one) and the photo they took on the bridge at the end of the movie
During Halloween, the group always does group costumes
Strawberry shortcake, and then scooby doo, the dynamos, and then the sailor scouts
When April feels comfortable in a space she’ll take her glasses off
It shows that she knows the space well and she trusts the people around her
When she hangs out in the lair she leaves her shoes and glasses at the door
#I am so tired#but my adhd was not letting me sleep#i tried to sleep multiple times#i even took melatonin#but my brain kept telling me "Roo you're gonna forget this if you don't write it down#and I knew my brain wasn't lying#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#Rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#save rottmnt#rottmnt headcanons#rottmnt leo#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt mikey#rottmnt raph#rottmnt april#disaster twins#they're like each other's weighted blanket
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SAD!
#the duality of fran#ignore me theres just so much its midnight i am perpetually exhausted snd yet cant sleep#melatonin. melatonin save me. save me melatonin#just hugely sad suddenly#desperately terribly sad and idk why#annoyed af bc politics at family dinner my shitty uncles alabaman wife was like IM VOTING FOR TRUMP#MAAM???? MAAM??????????#it turned into a Whole thing#and ive stopped drinking most weekends. im trying to be good I know how easy it is to just have a glass or two or three of wine#so i only drink when i want to and am in a good mood#so not. just bc shitty family#BUT YKWIM#and then idk. im just. really sad and despairingly lonely and idk whY#OBJECTIVELY LIFE IS GOOD AND EVERYTHING IS FINE#and YET#idk man. im going to curl up into the tiniest ball possible under all my blankets#and pretend that weight is comforting human contact#my joints will complain but i gotta squish myself#touch starved touch averse meltdown yknow. yknow. one of those#disgusting and pathetic and selfish!!!! to delete later#tmrw i have to be responsible and good again#and i will stop moping stop thinking abt it go back to pretending that there isnt a void in my chest!!!#fine!!! this is fine!!!
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ok i know im the guy with Tag your weed posts in his rentry but i am Trying to get over that Specifically bc it feels like its severely limiting the ppl im able to interact with . so where does a guy living with conservative family get the weakest edibles known to man in the most inconspicuous packaging possible. i feel like if i just try it Once i'll get over it and im also like Maybe itll help me sleep better than melatonin does
#cupid.txt#melatonin will put me down for like 5 hours max even taking 10mg#id like to sleep a normal amount w/o staying up until 5 am please#i Know ive got a few stoner mutuals Save me stoner mutuals#weed cw#<- for anyone else that needs it tagged too
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ok cool sleep is apparently not on the menu, neat
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headache
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so the anger is all consuming and never ending ?cool
#msr save me.. save me around the pomegranate.. msr save me#melatonin 130 save me.....e.e.#catboo.txt
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oh no. i feel like if i do not consume an entire load of bread in the very near future i will simply cease to exist.
#very uh. very worried about my finances right now#like. i'm fine. i have some savings. but i also just got to put something into my savings for the first time in a VERY long time and now#now i immediately have to take it out#and i'm getting stressed out about buying groceries#because if i dip into my savings here what about there? where is the line?#and i owe so much to taxes but i can't exactly afford getting less of my pay......#my last paycheck was $0.66 more than my rent#my insurance is refusing to reimburse the last of my electrolysis visits from last year and like#i'm SO over the fight but that's $120. that i really actually kinda need?#and i'm starting to get that funny in the head feeling about wondering how i'm going to feed myself#i still feel so much shame about that funeral i went to years ago and my only thought during the reception after was about#how there was just so much food and i could actually eat my fill#i have leftovers for dinner tonight and it's fine but.... making a lovely vegan dish wasn't the best choice tbh#i feel like if i don't have a large helping of bread and meat i'm going to go insane#and it really REALLY doesn't help that i've apparently lost the ability to eat in the mornings#so i'm at quite a significant fuel deficit and it's stacking#but no matter how hungry i am in the morning the concept of processing solid food is just repulsive and daunting#eating a clif bar at 9am would take literally all of my spoons for the day#i was looking at protein shakes since i can handles *drinking* breakfast#but the cheapest one that meets my dietary requirements is $35 for a 12pack#and i'm uh. i'm worrying over spending $10 on produce this week#personal#and nevermind that i don't have the spoons to even GO shopping (:#(on an aside i switched back to my regular melatonin gummies last night and i Actually Slept. so hopefully that will continue and help some)#i just want to curl up in a ball on the floor and have someone gently place a roll of bread and hunk of cheese next to me in my enclosure#also it's photophobia season and i still feel like i haven't recovered from saturday#got too much sunlight and was nauseaus for half the day#my body feels so bad
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unexpected pitfall in the 'cutted all my hair off' W is that i no longer have a bun to undo at night that makes my brain go oh hair down means it is sleepy time
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"heh i can nap then be awake a bit so i can then sleep again later :-)" he says, fully aware his nap starts at his bedtime so hes gonna be dead tired when waking up & also theres no guarantee he can fall back asleep if hes up for too long (i am in post nap wake up & if you can believe it i just wanna get more honk shoos & nothing else)
#no one understands how much i hate fridays for needing me awake for 12 hours straight#not every friday but like. idk i cant be expected to be socially functional that long at all. & yet#i think people . do not understand how bad sleep disorders are if im honest. ggghg.#wish i had melatonin girl save me
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Man this melatonin gummy ain’t sh-
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my girlfriend is beautiful and five feet somethin tall and made of copper wiring and has a sillmy face when she eats a poorly flavored melatonin gunnt !!!!
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I don't vent on here cus ironically it feels so much more wide open here vs locked twitter but the dysphoria is so so so so so bad its making me disassociate so bad this week
#i want top surgery mroe than anything . literqlly life saving#i am a lot calmer about itt hen i was start of this year so like im safe#but i dont know how manh more year's i got left in me dewling w this .#i miss physical activity i miss dancing i miss working out#my binder doesnt keep shit in place im too fat for sports bras that wont pinch and they move anyway#i habent tried compression bras . sigh . i need to try trans tape again#if i can just . save up enough#i keep thinkin abt the covid checks and how i couldve fucking saved thwt money#instead i threw it on some1 who could never take enough#im tipsy . im sloppy lsitening to carly rae tje melatonin hitting but not enougj to sleep !!!#does a bear blog in the woods
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I have never been allergic to anything in my LIFE but now I am part-human and part-hives and I. Don't. Know. Why.
This is Hell and I must be the devil's most pitiable little jester jingling my way down the clownward spiral
#There's been nothing new in my house save for an Aloe Vera plant (which I got rid of yesterday bcs I thought it was the cause)#I've never had my skin do this to me#I couldn't even sleep last night bcs the itchiness was SO BAD and my whole lower half was covered in big splotches#the first night my face was swelling up#This is goddamn terrifying and bad for my anxiety because I have ZERO idea as to why this is happening except I gotta be cursed#Also 2 benadryl was enough to let me sleep and did reduce the Horrors overnight but damn#They weren't lying when they said it causes drowsiness because damn it was like taking melatonin but faster
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