#san fafic | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

stayteezdreams · 4 months

Text

Eggnog Confession

Plot: While at a Christmas party, San drinks a little too much spiked Eggnog. Now he can't keep his thoughts, or secrets to himself.

Pairing: Choi San x Gn!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of drinking/alcohol. Drunk!San. Drunk!Confession. Embarrassed San. "Spiked" Drink in reference to the eggnog being alcoholic without San's knowledge.

Words: 2.8k

You grunted in frustration as you finally got to your apartment door. Your arm and shoulder was aching as San was leaning on you with nearly his full weight. He hummed Christmas songs under his breath as you pulled your key from your bag and unlocked your door.

At first you had every intention of taking him back to his dorm, but your place was closer, and you were already tired. Not just from the Christmas party, but the event in itself of taking care of a drunk San.

You wish you had learned he had drank so much eggnog earlier than you did. By the time you found him he was long-gone. After some pleading from the others who wished to stay at the party a little longer, you ended up being the one to take him home.

"Okay, come on."

San groaned as he drug his feet alongside you. As he mumbled something unintelligible, you frowned.

"What?"

Lifting his head, his hot breath fanned your ear as he spoke again. "You're so beautiful. You're always so beautiful."

You felt your heart rate spike at his words as you swallowed nervously. Shaking your head softly you led him to the couch and plopped him down.

He's drunk, his words don't mean anything.

"I'm gonna get you some water okay?"

He nodded as he grinned lazily, his eyes mostly shut and his face flushed pink. God how you wished you found him annoying rather than cute.

Bringing him back a glass of water, he reached out and cupped his hands around yours, keeping you from letting go of the glass as he drank from it. As you tried to remove your hands he whined, making you let out a soft chuckle.

"I'm not trying to take it, I just want my hands back."

"No. I want them."

"You want my hands?"

He nodded stiffly. "They're so soft."

Ignoring the way your stomach swirled, you let out a soft sigh.

He really just says whatever comes to mind doesn't he?

"You can have them later, but for now I need them."

He paused as he stared at you blankly, after blinking slowly, he nodded softly and let go.

After helping him take off his shoes and getting him a blanket you tried to get him to lie down, with much difficulty.

Kneeling on your knees by the couch you placed the blanket over him. "You'll feel better after you sleep."

"But I don't want to sleep, I want to stay with you!"

He probably doesn't even know who he's talking to at this point.

"We can talk in the morning."

"But that's so far away."

As he pouted, you couldn't help the soft laugh that escaped. Suddenly San leaned forward, his face mere inches from yours. Your breath caught in your throat as you stared at him in surprise.

"So pretty." He mumbled as he grinned crookedly at you, his eyes grazing across your features.

You swallowed stiffly as you gently pushed him to lie back against the couch.

If you knew you'd have to deal with this, you probably wouldn't have taken him home yourself. You already struggled with your feelings for San on a day-to-day basis. Now, hearing him say things to you you would die to hear, and knowing his drunken words probably aren't meant for you, only made your chest ache.

Seeing that San had settled down, you assumed he was finally giving in to sleep. You patted his knee softly as you began to rise.

"Would you date me?"

You froze as you looked back at him, startled by his widened and intense gaze. For a moment it appeared as though he was sober, but you knew better.

"What?"

"Would I make a good boyfriend?"

Your chest tightened as you softly nodded, your voice soft. "Yes, you would."

"So then why wont you date me?"

His voice was soft, and his gaze sad as he appeared almost heart-broken.

Who does he think I am? Is there some unrequited love he never told me about?

Your heart clenched at the thought of him loving someone like that. Of him aching about their rejection even when drunk. Were they always on his mind like this?

You smiled sadly down at him. "You haven't asked me."

San stared at you in silence for a moment before he muttered out a soft "Oh."

Before you could process it, he jumped forward, grabbing you by your wrist and dragged you down onto his lap.

Your widened eyes stared into his tired yet determined ones. You attempted to stand up, so you weren't sitting on him but he held you down.

"Will you go out with me?"

The tightness in your chest only worsened as you let out a soft shaky sigh. How long had you been imagining him asking you that? Only to hear him mutter it in drunken heartbreak at the thought of someone else.

What if the person he's thinking of heard him now? What if they were in your place instead? Would they reject him again? Or would they realize their mistake and accept him?

You smiled sadly at him as he continued to stare at you. "I'm not who you think I am San. These words aren't meant for me."

Even in San's drunken haze, he could sense the sadness in your words. His eyes focused on your face, on your features he knew so well.

Releasing one of your arms, he reached up and gently touched your face. His confusion only grew.

He frowned as he shook his head softly in confusion. "Aren't you Y/n?"

Feeling as though your heart stopped, you swallowed nervously.

"What?" He stared at you, confusion still present on his face. "What if I'm not Y/n?"

He frowned as he leaned away from you, blinking as if he was trying to make out who you really were.

"If you're not-" Suddenly releasing his grip he shook his head, "-then I'm not interested."

You almost let out a bewildered laugh. Had those words, those heart-broken eyes really been meant for you all along?

Standing up, you stared down at him as he crossed his arms and looked away from you like an upset toddler.

"Would- would you only be interested in dating me if I was Y/n?"

Nodding his head confidently your heart felt as though it was about to pop out of your chest. Are these his genuine feelings? Or just drunken thoughts he doesn't truly mean?

"I only want Y/n."

You stared down at San as he stared off into space, his voice was blunt, but still slurred.

"I want to take them on dates and hold their hand, and kiss them. I want to hug them whenever I want too, and sleep beside them."

He let out a sad sigh as you stared at him in stunned awe. He closed his eyes as he started to feel sleep take over his body.

"But Y/n doesn't want me."

You felt your stomach knot at his words. Why did he think that? You thought your feelings were obvious, at least that's what the other's had told you before. He spoke as if you had rejected him, but you never recalled a moment like that.

"Y/n deserves better than me, but I hate the idea of them being with anyone else. It has to be. It can only be me."

"I think you're wrong San."

"Hmm?"

He turned his head towards your voice, but failed to open his eyes.

"I think Y/n likes you very much."

You saw a smile tug at his lips, "Really?"

You nodded, knowing he couldn't see you. "Really."

The small smile on his face slowly faded as he drifted into a deep sleep. You watched him for a while, unable to move from your spot as your brain seemed to spin.

He hasn't gotten this drunk in a long time, you doubted he would remember anything he said tonight.

Maybe that was for the best.

If his feelings were as he said, he would be embarrassed that this was how you found out. If they weren't as he said, you would both be embarrassed, and you would be heartbroken.

As you placed another blanket over him before heading to bed, you decided not to tell San about what happened tonight. If he remembered on his own, things will go from there. But the fear that the feelings he expressed weren't true, made your chest ache. So for now, you wanted to believe them, just for a little while.

When San woke the next morning his head ached as his vision swam. He groaned as he slowly sat up, taking in his surroundings. It took him a moment to recognize where he was. When he spotted your familiar slippers by the door, it became clear that you had rescued him from himself at the party.

Hearing some noise behind him, he turned around, seeing you in the kitchen. Slowly, he rose from the couch, trying not to lose his balance as he made his way to the kitchen. His eyes grazed over your pajama-clad figure and he felt butterflies in his stomach. Oh how he would love to see this every morning.

San's groggy voice startled you as you turned to see him standing in the kitchen entrance. His hair was a mess and his face puffy from the previous nights escapades.

The memory of what happened the previous night rushed through your brain and you pushed it away as you smiled at him in pity.

"Morning. Coffee?"

He nodded softly, the movement hurting as he sat at the kitchen counter.

"I didn't give you too much trouble did I?"

You felt your stomach sink for a second as his words proved you had been correct. He did not remember what happened. Though, he hadn't been awake very long, memories could still surface.

You shook your head. "It was hard getting you anywhere, but besides that, no."

He smiled softly, light embarrassment on his features. "I don't even remember drinking that much." He frowned as he stared down at the coffee you handed him.

You let out a soft scoff and he looked up at you.

"You know all that eggnog you were shooting back?" He nodded his head and you smiled, "That was spiked eggnog."

"Sp-spiked?!" His own voice made him wince from the volume before he let out a soft sigh, "You mean there was alcohol in that?"

You nodded, "A lot. You really couldn't tell?"

He shook his head with an embarrassed chuckle. "I had never had eggnog before, so I thought it just tasted like that."

You chuckled as you shook your head, handing him some medicine for his hangover, "Well, now you know better."

He smiled at you as he took the medicine. "Thank you."

San watched you closely as you turned away from him, you had avoided eye contact with him most of the time you were talking. Did something happen last night you weren't telling him about?

"So, I didn't embarrass myself or anything?"

He saw you freeze for a split-second, something he wouldn't have noticed if he hadn't been watching you so closely.

You shook your head and chuckled, "Nothing more than usual."

He smiled as he nodded his head, not believing you.

"Do you mind if I take a shower?"

You shook your head, '"No, go ahead."

As San took a shower, he tried to focus on his memories from last night. He remembered playing darts, and then sitting with the guys. Then he remembered you helping him leave the party.

He groaned as he rubbed his face, trying to remember more.

When you got to your apartment, you set him on the couch, he felt his heart spike a little as he recalled...flirting? No, complimenting. He called you beautiful. Was that enough to make you feel awkward around him?

He shook his head, no it had to be more. As he focused, little pieces came back to him and he felt his chest tightening.

He remembered asking you out, pulling you into his lap, and...confessing his feelings.

He pressed his face against the shower wall as he cursed himself.

He frowned as he recalled you not thinking he was talking about you. You thought he was talking about someone else. Do you still think that? Is that why you avoided it?

Embarrassment and panic kept him in the shower longer than usual, he only got out once the water turned cold.

After dressing, he slowly walked out, finding you cooking breakfast in the kitchen. He watched you for a moment as his memories came back clearer and clearer by the second.

Maybe you hadn't told him about what happened to save-face, his to be precise. You would never want to embarrass him. Turning at the sound of his foot steps, you smiled at him and he felt his heart skip.

You ate breakfast in relative silence. He hoped you thought it was because of his hangover that he was being so silent.

As San helped you clear up the plates, you felt his eyes burning into you and you began to grow nervous. Slowly looking over at him you saw his eyes dart away from you in surprise when he got caught.

You swallowed nervously before you began to leave the kitchen, "I'm gonna go get dressed."

"Wait!"

You stopped as San suddenly called out. Turning back to him you saw various emotions cross his face as he tried to think of what to say.

"I- I'm sorry."

From the caution and embarrassment clear on his face, you understood what was happening.

You let out a soft breath. "You remember don't you?"

He nodded softly and you smiled, though your chest was tight. "It's okay San, I know you were just drunk, don't worry about it."

As you turned to walk away he frowned before quickly following after you. Reaching out, he grabbed your wrist, making you turn back in surprise.

"That's not- I-" He closed his eyes tightly as he let out a sigh. "I'm not apologizing for the things I said. I'm apologizing for saying them when I was drunk."

You stared at him for a moment as you tried to process his words.

Pulling you to face him fully, he took your hands in his. "I meant them. Everything I said was true. I just- I wish I hadn't said them when I was drunk. I wish I had the strength to have said them sooner, and when I was sober." He let out a chuckle.

"So...it wasn't just drunk nonsense?"

He shook his head and your breath caught in your throat.

"Oh."

"This isn't how I wanted to do this." He squeezed your hand a little, "But at least it's done. I was afraid I might never say something. It's okay if you don't want to say anything, or just leave it at this, I don't need you to reply, I'm just glad you finally know how I feel."

Slowly, he let go of your hands, and you recalled what he said last night.

"You were wrong."

San looked at you with a furrowed brow, "What?"

"Last night, there was something you said that wasn't true."

"What?"

"You said I didn't like you. You said I didn't want you. You were wrong. Don't you remember I told you you were wrong, and that I like you-"

"-very much."

You nodded softly as a shy smile formed on your face. "I'm sorry you thought different."

A grin spread across his features as he shook his head, "Don't be sorry."

As you stared at each other for a moment, you both started to giggle, unable to keep your faces straight, and giddiness hidden.

Suddenly San pulled you into a hug as he wrapped his arms around you tightly. He spoke softly into your ear and you felt goosebumps rise up your arms.

"Does this mean I can finally hold you?"

You chuckled softly as you nodded, "Yes."

He let out a happy chuckle as he buried his face in your neck. You wrapped your arms around him just as tightly as you held each other for a moment.

"What now?" You asked after a moment.

San hummed before he got an idea. Pulling away enough to look in your eyes he grinned happily.

"Wanna go on a date?"

"A date?" You laughed and he nodded fervently.

You nodded in return. "Yeah, I do."

Pulling you into his arms again he grinned happily as he slowly walked you backwards towards your room.

"Then get ready, let's go."

"Now?"

"Now!"

"What are we gonna do?"

"I don't know yet, but we'll think of something."

Laughing, you pulled away from him to hurry to get ready, excitement and joy radiating between the two of you as thoughts of drunken confessions and unrequited love were left behind.

xx End xx

General Taglist: @otsilliak, @brattybunfornct, @bahng-chrizz, @otakutrash669

Ateez Taglist: @soso59love-blog, @dlmlufics, @hongjoongsprincess, @tunaasan, @thedistractedwriter, @dear-dreamie, @thunderous-wolf

{Taglist Form}

399 notes · View notes